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Danganronpa Remix: Trigger Happy Havoc

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Panicked breathing.

The sound of someone desperately tugging on rope.

And then...a flicker.

A small monochrome bear sits alone on the floor, the room it inhabits only occupied by its victim. The bear hops up from its position on the floor to instead stand. Then, it stretches with a groan before speaking.

“Man oh man, Jin. You’re a tough cookie, you know that?”

The only answer the headmaster can manage is a long, painful grunt as he tries to release himself from the restraints. The bear puts their paws on their hips and tuts. “That’s no way to respond to a compliment, pal! You gotta be more considerate!” From one of the abandoned desks, the bear grabs a big red button and places it on the ground before them. The victim’s fear skyrockets, as all he hear is shuffling. He can’t see exactly what’s going on thanks to the cloth covering his eyes. The bear continues speaking in its high-pitched voice.

“Anyway, what I was trying to say was that you waste all your time on being strict and orderly...and not enough on...y’know...actually being smart and solicitous with your students!” It chirped tauntingly. The bear plopped back down on the floor and laid on his belly with his chin resting on his paws and his feet kicking. “It’s kind of sad, really. The headmaster has a lot of high expectations set for him, and he has to follow them to a T! So much paperwork and management of those adolescences as well...I feel bad for you! Puhuhuhuhu!” It said, less sincerely than someone probably should have sounded when saying that.

The bear pushed himself upwards to sit on the floor. It tapped its chin. “Let’s do we fix that? How do we get all that work off your shoulders?” After a couple moments, the bear exclaimed: “Aha! I’ve got it!” It practically jumped with joy from the floor to its feet. “We could set you up with a retirement plan! It’s about time they let you off the hook, anyway. Why not let me do it for you?” The headmaster clenched his teeth and let out a low growl. He didn’t like where this was going. “Okay, how about this? You resign...and I take your place! I’ll be the one stuck with all that responsibility, and you’ll be retired! Free to go!” A malicious grin crossed the bear’s face. “Now that’s a deal you can get behind...”

It raised its foot in the air right above the red button.
“...isn’t it?”
The bear stomped its foot down onto the button, and a deafening bang sounded from behind the headmaster. And then, some sort of electronic whirring. A digital voice spoke:


Execution...? A cold sweat poured down the headmaster’s face as he began to struggle harder. Pulling his wrists against the rope so much that it was enough to leave burns, rocking the chair back and forth, shaking his head to try and throw off the cloth from his eyes...but it was all in vain. Nonetheless, he continued grunting and yelling as he writhed around. The bear just laughed. “Hey, calm down, sport! You’re retired, remember? Now you get to go on a celebration vacation! How does space sound for a first destination, huh?”

The headmaster’s movements got more erratic and wild. He would not die here...not in the hands of this bear! Sweat drenched his face and his hands got cold and clammy. His throat was in pain from all the rough struggling noises he was making. The bear piped up again. “Pleasure working with you, Mister Kirigiri! Your class is now officially...DISMISSED!” The bear’s voice switched from sing-songy to wicked as he uttered that last word.

The headmaster let out one last blood-curdling scream. And then, it was muffled by metal doors capturing him and pulling him in like the jaws of a Venus flytrap. He was inside a rocket. Before he could even attempt to find a way out, flames fulminated out of the bottom of the rocket, and it started to ascend. Although the headmaster couldn’t see it, the bear was waving at him and laughing as he made his slow journey into the sky. “Puhuhuhu! See you later~!”

Suddenly, the rocket began to pick up the pace. It slammed into the ceiling of the classroom and smashed through it with ease. It continued going upwards, drilling through each story of the abandoned school. When it finally burrowed its way out of the school, it shot upwards into the sky at mach speed.

The headmaster was dead before he even made it out of the atmosphere.

Eventually, the rocket came crashing back down into the classroom, and the doors swung open. The bear stepped closer to get a look, and the only thing that greeted it was a broken skeleton. The bear admired its work before beginning a monologue.

“Phew! Now that that’s taken care of...I think it’s time to begin. Begin the age of Monokuma...and the age of absolute despair!!”

Then it cackled, its malevolent laughter echoing throughout the empty building.



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