Chapter Text
I. Black Tiger and Violet Spider
Rhythmic clanging of hammer against chisel rang out crisply as stray sparks flashed threateningly within the forge. With a rarely-seen single-minded focus, Wei Wuxian relentlessly attacked a distorted hunk of metal with the business end of a chisel --- which he simultaneously seemed to be trying to strangle. Hammer clutched in a white-knuckled grip, he gradually but surely wore down the already gleaming smooth butt of the poor chisel with precise, merciless strikes. Such strength was truly unnecessary, for the metal glowed an ominous white, so recently was it removed from the heart of the spiritual flame. Perhaps this particular array or whatnot did not require as much precision for acceptable function, for the resultant grooves were concerningly deep. If nothing else, the design would be nice to look at and would not wear away for centuries, if not millennia, to come. Regardless, the observer was no expert on talismans and arrays, so could make neither heads nor tails of the engravings.
Severe scowl marring her regal features, Yu Ziyuan watched in distaste --- and perhaps an underlying worry that she would refuse to admit even with her dying breath --- as her ward toiled away without pause, exerting full force into each impact despite the exhaustion he must have been feeling. The brat didn’t even have the decency to keep his outer robes on, and she knew that he knew they carried fire-suppression arrays sewn into the lining. The only reason he hadn’t suffered a burn was probably the immobilizing groove designed into their anvil and a whole lot of sheer dumb luck .
Yu Ziyuan waited until Wei Wuxian distractedly tossed his latest piece onto the growing pile for polishing before finally taking the final step across the threshold. When the idiot child failed to hear her, she irritably scoffed, “Your awareness for your surroundings is atrocious! You will stay behind for an hour of extra training tomorrow afternoon, because this is certainly unbecoming of the Jiang Sect’s head disciple!”
Wei Wuxian flinched and froze, arm still extended in reach for the next set of materials and droplets of sweat still dripping into his eyes because he hadn’t bothered to wipe them away earlier. “M-madam Yu?” he stammered, startled.
Still a cub , Yu Ziyuan thought wryly. Out loud, she snapped, “Foolish boy! Only now you notice me. If I had been an enemy, you would have lost your life before you ever realized what was happening!” Ashamed, Wei Wuxian hung his head, which only further incensed the Jiang Matriarch. “Lift your head up high and mop up your brow! If people saw you now, they’d sooner think you a common laborer than a cultivator!” she scolded harshly. “You are MY children’s equal, not some servant! Is this how you want others to see you? To see them? Is this how you want to represent the Jiang Sect?!”
Taken aback, Wei Wuxian instinctually straightened, saluted, and blurted out, “No, Ma’am!”
Jerkily nodding in approval, Yu Ziyuan continued in a slightly softer tone, “As useful as these trinkets will undoubtedly prove, just what do you hope to accomplish by wearing yourself to the bone?”
When Wei Wuxian hesitated, it took a supreme effort from Yu Ziyuan to refrain from barking at him to hurry up. Let it be known that she was not, had never been, and will never be a patient woman. Internally, she still seethed, Get on with it, brat! Say something before I change my mind and decide to get that lazy ass Shen Yuan here instead after all!
Wei Wuxian ruminated for a couple moments longer.
Yu Ziyuan was seconds away from darting out the door to call for either Jinzhu or Yinzhu to fetch the more tolerable half of the Jiang Sect’s moronic twins when the boy at long last, in a morose and subdued voice, murmured, “I deserve worse.”
The Jiang Matriarch was perplexed at this frankly out of character behavior. As was her wont when confused, she vexedly rebuked, “State your reasons clearly. I don’t have all day.”
With a growl of frustration, Wei Wuxian hissed, “I screwed up. Badly. The first night hunt I lead and I almost got everyone killed!” Subsequently, he deflated and withdrew into himself to fume in silence once more.
Exasperated but maintaining her typical severe mien, Yu Ziyuan prompted, “What could you have done better?”
With clenched fists and a shaky gasp that sounded like it bordered alarmingly on tears, Wei Wuxian helplessly ranted, “I-I should have prepared more thoroughly! Anything can happen on a night hunt; I should have anticipated that and brought talismans designed to counter entities other than just fierce corpses! Heck, even more generalized talismans or a lower-leveled spirit artifact would have helped! Instead, I just assumed the reports were accurate and only took what was needed for fierce corpses.
“I should have sent for help the second I saw our target. It was so obvious it didn’t match with the reports, yet I pushed on ahead. I had multiple chances to call for help, yet I didn’t take any until it was almost too late! I kept thinking about reputation when I should have prioritized everyone’s safety!
“I should have realized the magistrate was fishy from the start! During our first meeting, he was horrible from start to finish! And-and-and the village residents hated him! Sure, one or two of those things may not mean anything, but put everything together and that’s at least grounds for suspicion, right? And I just believed whatever he said without question!
“I was arrogant---!”
Fraying composure finally at its limit, Yu Ziyuan held up a hand to halt Wei Wuxian’s increasingly hysterical tirade before it finally bubbled over into waterworks. She would like to avoid tears, thank you very much! While it may have been a skill expected of women, she certainly was wholly unequipped to deal with crying of any form. “So, based on your logic,” she began measuredly, ominously, “Fengmian, I, and all of the Jiang Sect senior generation should all carry blame for this fiasco of a night hunt?”
Rearing back as if struck, Wei Wuxian hastily denied, “No! No! That’s not what I said at all! I mean it was all my---!”
“Get this through your thick skull, child,” Yu Ziyuan interjected commandingly, bristling at such unsightly self-deprecation. “ No one , and I mean NO ONE , expected the night hunt to go so far off course,” she explained firmly, “You blame yourself over your shidis essentially experiencing a bad scare because you feel beholden to them as their senior martial brother and team leader. Well, by that rationale, we as the heads and senior generation of the Yunmeng Jiang Sect are similarly beholden to you as your elders, mentors, and leaders.
“None of us noticed there was anything wrong with the request; for all that that magistrate was a pathetic pig, he was good at pretending to be a passably decent human on paper. You may have interacted with our client and the villagers more, but our past encounters with rumors certainly gave you no incentive to lend credence to gossip. We, your elders, did not question his story; as such, you suffered the fallout.
“None of us thought to advise you to be better prepared because we, frankly, thought you had over prepared for a single fierce corpse. Had you started crafting a broader variety of talismans for this one night hunt, someone would have reprimanded you for dallying. Had you actually gone as far as to ask to take a stronger artifact with you, we would have turned you down.”
“Sending a greenhorn like you to lead a night hunt without double checking the facts was a potentially grave oversight on our part. You far exceeded our expectations; you did not fail us in the slightest. However, we have failed you.” She leveled the boy with a solemn glare, genuinely curious how he’d react to her admittance.
He did not disappoint. “No! You’ve never failed any of us! You couldn’t have imagined it would turn out as it did!” he refuted vehemently, gesticulating wildly all the while.
“By that vein, neither could you,” she stated lowly but adamantly.
Wei Wuxian was stunned speechless. He self-consciously wrapped his arms around himself and shuffled half a step backwards, still unconvinced.
Honestly, Yu Ziyuan sometimes wondered whether he would have been better off born a girl with how predisposed he was to these moments of vulnerability; there would certainly have been less stigma against him showing this part of himself had he been female. Despite her misgivings, the fact that he was willing at all to show her this side of himself bloomed warmth in her core. They hadn’t always had these moments.
Sighing, she arranged her arms akimbo and decisively declared, “If anyone is culpable, it is that lying filth sitting in that magistrate seat. We can sit here passing guilt back and forth all day, but it wouldn’t change the fact that this whole mess could have been avoided had he just been a better person.”
Shifting timidly, Wei Wuxian mumbled, “I still should have sent up the signal flare earlier.”
Snorting unfemininely, the Jiang Matriarch retorted, “You’re forgetting that none of your shidi actually suffered any long-lasting injury. Furthermore, the entire reason we sent you on this night hunt in the first place was to learn and gain experience. Signaling for help when you did shows a commendable willingness to do just that. Trying to attack the ghost without a plan, trying to defeat it alone, or never sending up that signal flair would have been arrogance; taking credit that’s not due or shirking responsibility when things don’t go your way would have been arrogance; it’s not arrogance to challenge yourself and your team.
“While sending up the flare slightly earlier would have been ideal, you still called for aid before anyone was hurt too severely. Yes, your inexperience showed, but so did your sound judgement.” Suddenly, Yu Ziyuan paused and averted her gaze out of embarrassment. “Besides, I daresay I am partially at fault for your delay. Had I not kept emphasizing the reputation of the Jiang Sect to you directly before the night hunt, your performance might have been flawless,” she conceded awkwardly. Oh, how she loathed making mistakes! --- but...he deserved no less than her blatant admission. As credit must be given where credit is due, so too must guilt.
When Wei Wuxian made a noise of protest, Yu Ziyuan preempted his dissent by pointedly turning her back and quietly concluding, “You did well. The Jiang Clan is proud to have you...both as our head disciple and as part of our family.”
And whatever Wei Wuxian had been about to say was swallowed by his awed intake of breath.
Yu Ziyuan allowed herself a few intoxicating moments to revel in her first ever success at handling a delicate emotional situation before resuming her usual demeanor. “Now, clean yourself up and rest , you numbskull! The greatest disservice you can do to the Jiang Sect is to harm yourself in any way! I did not expend all that effort raising and training you until now just for you to kill yourself with your own stupidity!” she haughtily sneered.
With a gasp, Wei Wuxian heartily chirped, “Yes, Ma’am!”
Then, as an afterthought, he added, “Oh, before I forget, do you think we could make it standard for disciples to carry shovels on all night hunts? We ran into a small snag when we didn’t have shovels to dig graves.” The idea had been prodding the back of his head for days, but he never felt right broaching the subject with anyone before he had sufficiently atoned for his own mistakes first.
Yu Ziyuan, who had been on her way out, went still. Slowly, she turned back around to face her ward, who might just manage to live up to the Jiang Sect’s motto in that he could be both the smartest and dumbest person she has ever known. “What do you mean by ‘didn’t have shovels’?” she asked flatly.
Visibly more nervous now, Wei Wuxian replied, “Umm...I...we...didn’t bring shovels?”
Pinching the bridge of her nose to stave off a stress headache --- this boy gave her more headaches than wearing her headdress on top of her hair in pins all day --- Yu Ziyuan intoned, “Exactly what did you think the shovels in the shed by the stables are for?”
Wei Wuxian’s face scrunched up in bewilderment. He responded without thinking, “Aren’t those for shoveling horse manure?”
Annoyed, Yu Ziyuan informed, “Yes, they are used for that, but we also regularly bring some with us on night hunts for digging graves since this task falls to us rather frequently.”
Hesitantly, Wei Wuxian queried, “But, Madam Yu, isn’t it disrespectful to the dead to use dirty shovels to dig their graves?”
Yu Ziyuan stared at the boy incredulously as a niggling suspicion took root in her mind. “Wei Wuxian,” she spoke carefully, “are you telling me you don’t wash those shovels after you shovel the manure?”
She received all the answer she needed with the boy’s wide-eyed gape of dawning realization.
“Wei Wuxian,” she called.
“...Yes, Madam Yu?” he meekly rejoined.
“Clean everything up here within an incense stick, then thoroughly wash each of those shovels within a shichen. Afterwards, you are to rest in your room --- and only your room --- for the remainder of the day,” she ordered rigidly.
“...Yes, Madam Yu,” repeated Wei Wuxian.
II. White Tiger and White Paper
Crunch. Munch munch munch.
Chew chew.
Sip. Gulp.
Sigh.
Jiang Cheng’s brow twitched in aggravation.
Crunch. Chew chew. Gulp.
Munch munch crunch munch. Cough. Sluuuuuurrrp ---
The Jiang Sect Heir’s entire being spasmed at the offending sound.
Gulp gulp. Sigh.
Finally having enough, Jiang Cheng slammed his palms against the desk in sheer frustration and bellowed, “Would you two stop that?! It’s so annoying!” He had barely craned his neck to glare at his supervisors before something hard struck him straight in the center of his forehead.
“ GAH!”
Jiang Cheng curled in on himself to massage the swelling lump on his forehead while the stars in his eyes gradually abated. Through the tears, he could just make out an elongated shape drop to the floor.
“Jiu-ge! You didn’t have to hit him so hard!” Shen Yuan half-heartedly chided his brother. At this point, he knew it was a lost cause.
“Hmph, as a sect heir, he would do well to learn some manners,” Shen Jiu sniffed disdainfully.
“Hey!” objected Jiang Cheng. “I have perfectly fine---!”
“If you’re about to say manners, then shut it and get back to work, because you are proving yourself wrong by taking that tone with your elders,” Shen Jiu remonstrated bluntly.
Grumbling but acquiescing, Jiang Cheng mutinously slashed away at the document before him with the inked brush in a manner not unlike how he slashed with his sword. While his night hunt was technically successful, it utterly failed when one considered the skill and finesse, or lack thereof, that went into its execution. The rest of his team was assigned extra training as a consequence of their abysmal showing. However, he, as the leader of that night hunt, required extra disciplining. Since he was supposed to take over the sect at some point anyway, his parents thought it would be a fitting penalty to put him in charge of some of the less important --- and most excruciatingly bland --- paperwork for the day. Clearly, he had underestimated just how much paperwork was required to smoothly run a sect.
Crunch.
Jiang Cheng threw his hands up in frustration, heedless of the ink splatters that dripped who knew where, and moaned plaintively, “Would you please just stop eating ?! It’s distracting!”
“No,” both twins droned in unison.
“Why?!” screeched Jiang Cheng. His voice cracked, yet he was too crazed to care.
“I’m hungry,” Shen Yuan replied flippantly.
“We’re not here to make things easier for you,” Shen Jiu responded apathetically.
“Since we must be here to make sure you complete your punishment properly---” blasely began Shen Yuan as he popped another roasted lotus seed into his mouth with an emphatic crunch .
“We will make ourselves as comfortable as we wish,” finished Shen Jiu indifferently. “It’s your punishment, not ours.” He took another resounding slurp of his tea when Jiang Cheng knew full well he typically preferred to drink with elegant silence.
Therefore, he must be forgiven for emitting a menacing, low growl.
The Shen twins, however, were decidedly unimpressed.
Shen Yuan reminded disinterestedly, “If you keep writing like that...”
“...you’ll be punished again for destroying your dad’s brushes,” ended Shen Jiu, amusement dancing in his usually cold eyes.
Jiang Cheng took one glance at the now slightly tattered brush in his hand and immediately bashed his head down upon the desktop in defeat.
In stereo, the Shen seniors mentioned, “You’re getting ink on your face.”
Jiang Cheng ignored them.
III. Orange Tigress vs.
Jiang Fengmian pursed his lips in an outward show of consternation, but his mind was drowning in incredulous exasperation. “I fear I still do not quite understand the issue,” he repeated once more. “Yanli is an outstanding cultivator in her own rite; for proof, one only needs recall her age at the time she mastered Shouhua.”
Lan Qiren sighed tiredly, stroking his goatee in agitation. “Peace, Sect Leader Jiang. It is not that anyone doubts your word,” he assuaged wearily.
Jaw tightening, Jiang Fengmian uncharitably thought, No, you don’t doubt my word, but you doubt her. Beneath the cover of the table, his hand clenched into a fist.
“The fact remains that Maiden Jiang has rarely ever attended night hunts, much less participated in any ones considered significant,” a self-important elder interjected where Lan Qiren left off...which, if the subtle glare the venerable teacher shot towards him indicated anything, he was not supposed to do. However, oblivious, the aged yet unwise man continued, “Showing promise in a spar is far removed from succeeding in a night hunt. I am afraid her mastery of Shouhua is not enough to qualify her for attending the lectures.”
“You are allowing disciples that have accomplished much less to attend,” Jiang Fengmian countered, frowning uncompromisingly. He knew for certain there were several male disciples from minor clans who have never hunted anything more dangerous than a common boar and still received invitations. Even the second young master of the Nie Sect was slated to study here, and he purportedly never hunted anything at all!
“Be that as it may,” the entitled, nameless elder dismissed patronizingly, once again cutting off Lan Qiren before he could speak. The irked teacher could only helplessly glower. “Those disciples are the male heirs of their clan, so they must be well educated. Only then can they be effective leaders,” he explained unctuously. “While your daughter has her merits, studying here will not benefit her much; they are hardly lessons on how to be a better bride, after all. Therefore, she has little use for these lectures. Naturally, those who truly require the education hold primacy.”
Jiang Fengmian had no idea why this elder was even part of the discussion, since he was only informed that he would be meeting with Lan Qiren, but he disliked how the old man spoke over both him and the venerated teacher and liked even less how he circumvented his previous argument when he found he could not refute it. That just showed there was no true basis for their decision at all! “Yanli is my eldest child,” the Jiang Patriarch stubbornly pressed.
“She is not an heir,” the elder stressed.
“Neither are the vast majority of the incoming Jin Sect students,” Jiang Fengmian retorted. “The Ouyang Sect is also sending a cousin. What makes them any more qualified?”
Shaking his head, the elder responded, “Sect Leader Jiang, think carefully. As young men, they will need the knowledge and skills we can provide. Your daughter, as a maiden, has no use for either. Indeed, her studying here might even negatively impact her marriageability, what with learning things that may unnecessarily intimidate her husband and potentially destroying her chaste reputation by spending so much time among those of the opposite sex. Your daughter wouldn’t want your fanciful impulse to ruin her marriage prospects, so why insist?”
She is right here , Jiang Fengmian wanted to shout. She is sitting right next to me, in front of you. Why don’t you ask her what she wants? Why does someone like you, who never came close to achieving Shouhua, have the right to judge a master? In his childrens’ generation, there were only five who realized their Shouhua forms --- the Twin Jades and the Three Tigers --- and that number was already higher than the average per generation even without factoring in their ages. Why was his daughter rejected when those clearly with both less insight and heart were readily invited?
More importantly, she was more than just Jin Zixuan’s future bride. So, so much more. She was --- she was...
With a start, Jiang Fengmian realized with crushing clarity that, beyond her remarkable mastery of Shouhua --- for which he was proud to have the privilege to be her father --- he could not recall anything to finish that sentence. He knew she was a treasure, not for her achievement of Shouhua but for who she was as a person. She may not be the best cultivator, but the majesty of her beast form proved she made up for that in spades with her strength of character. Everyone adored her, cherished her: him included. He was honored to be her father! But...could he really claim to be when he truly knew so little about his own eldest child?
He glanced uncomfortably at his serene, if wan, daughter placidly sipping tea to his left. However, instead of the hurt or disappointment or even indignation he had expected, her eyes contained thinly veiled boredom! As if the Lan elder’s words held no meaning or were utterly unsurprising! For perhaps the first time in his entire tenure as Sect Leader, he was overwhelmingly bewildered.
Whether fortunately or unfortunately, Jiang Fengmian was not given long to ponder over this discovery. “Well, then,” sniffed the oleaginous Lan elder, “since we are all in agreement---”
“With all due respect, Elder Lan,” Jiang Fengmian interjected sharply, nerves already frayed from his earlier revelation. “You do not speak for the Jiang Clan.” Lan Qiren’s ears flushed while his moustache bristled and quivered. The implication that he, as acting Sect Leader, had no voice in the face of an adviser was not missed. “Furthermore, silence often indicates contemplation, not agreement, as you should well know.” The elder flushed in futile indignation at the not-so-subtle reminder to his own clan’s rules.
Before the sputtering Lan elder could formulate a coherent retort, the Jiang Sect Leader turned instead to his quiet daughter and gently prompted, “A-Li, what is your opinion?”
Jiang Yanli froze with her teacup barely brushing her lips, eyes widening in visible surprise. Then, not a moment later, she smoothed out her expression and slowly, almost lethargically, lowered her arm and elegantly settled the cup down upon the saucer with nary a sound. With a slightest of pauses, her hands drifted to fold demurely over her lap, the perfect image of a dainty noble girl.
Whatever the elder was attempting to say died on his tongue. Only then did Jiang Yanli deign to speak, gaze locking with her father’s and never once wavering. “I truly appreciate your endeavor, Father. You are wise and kind,” she enunciated softly. “However, Elders Lan have already yielded, and are likely stretched to their limit when they agreed to host my younger brother. I believe it most prudent to refrain from demanding more of their resources.”
A few seconds passed before the intimations of what Jiang Fengmian just saw and heard caught up to his brain. At first, he could hardly believe it,barely suppressing a grin, but his daughter was a little minx! With but a few gestures, her natural grace commanded the rest of the room to listen to her in respectful reticence --- for only an uncouth boor unworthy of these halls would interrupt such a refined and mild-mannered maiden!
And in but a handful of statements, she sent veiled barbs that could not be directly countered without appearing an utter buffoon! By addressing only himself, she implied that he was the sole wise and kind man in the vicinity, and further snubbed the Lans for ignoring her this whole while. By referring to Wei Wuxian as simply “younger brother,” outsiders would still easily confuse her meaning with Jiang Cheng. Further, by connecting who people believed to be the Jiang Sect Heir with the connotations of “yielding,” she suggested that the Lan believed themselves so far superior to other major clans that they were lowering themselves to teach their progeny. The worst jab would be the combination of mentioning “resources” and “limit” in the same context. While not as wealthy as the Jins or the Wens, the Lans were nowhere near “poor,” yet these two terms together insinuated just that. Yanli purposely implied that the Lan Clan was so pitiful as to not be able to support more students, yet too proud to admit such!
Inwardly, Jiang Fengmian cackled at his eldest’s devious genius while simultaneously lamenting that daughters could not inherit. His youngest son was a brilliant warrior and leader; a politician he was not. As it were, the Jiang Sect Head simply sat back and watched as both Lans’ faces subtly twisted as the allusions sunk in. How could two old men dare be petty enough to pick a fight with a young lady who was only complimenting her father? How could they refute that they see themselves as a cut above the rest when it would appear too much a guilty denial without a straight accusation (and would likely be a lie)? How could they oppose the assumption that they lack the assets to support educating even a single more member of another sect when that would only corner themselves into taking in said member? Yet, how could they not rebuff the implications when they both undermine their status as a major sect and demean their prized annual lectures into a meager power play? How are they meant to respond without losing face?
They could not even give her so much as the lightest of reprimands on minding her phrasing without providing the Jiangs the perfect opening to push their case. If someone who needs proper education obviously lacks it, then is it not the responsibility of accredited educators to correct this oversight? If said educators noticed and did not rectify such a travesty, then they did not deserve the title of educators. If, however, they did not make note of it, then perhaps their credit was undue.
For the entire, several hours’ long conversation, the Jiangs and the Lans were at a stalemate.
Jiang Yanli spoke four sentences. Checkmate.
“Ahem,” the Lan elder cleared his throat uncomfortably. Jiang Fengmian waited, wondering how this scene would progress. Regardless of what either Lan chose, they would not come out unscathed. Still, he was a bit disappointed in his contemporary, Lan Qiren. Despite being acting Sect Leader, he let a mere adviser completely override his own voice. Jiang Fengmian was not impressed with him at all. Sluggishly, with some audible gruffness that he could not hide, Elder Lan responded as effortlessly as uprooting his own teeth, “...Maiden...Jiang speaks......sense.” His expression resembled one made when swallowing something unpleasant.
Ah, a pity , Jiang Fengmian thought, much less disappointed than he would be otherwise. Despite how brazen the Lan elder may seem, he became an elder for a reason. He might have been old --- might even have grown complacent --- but he had years of experience as a politician and should not be taken lightly. Unfortunately, though Jiang Yanli’s masterful web of traps would have torn any lesser opponent apart, and indeed might have forced the Lan Clan to submit had they more of an audience, the Lans managed to extricate themselves with only heavily injured pride. Still, it was no slight wound, and the two stick-in-the-muds' impotently seething faces were a worthy consolation prize. It was time to make their farewells.
Dull clattering of wheels upon earthen roads was not unlike the gurgling of a creek, save for the occasional groan from the weathered wood. Jiang Fengmian sighed once more as he glanced hesitantly between the dissonantly cheerful, sun-dappled woods flitting by beyond the fluttering curtains of the carriage window and his pallid, somber daughter perched with valiant poise upon the seat across. Jiang Yanli’s posture was straight but soft, swaying gently with the tilting of the carriage. Although her feet were planted firmly on the floor for balance, her closed eyes and hands loosely curled in her lap, right cupped in left, vaguely framing her dantian, revealed that she had allowed herself to slide into a shallow meditative trance. Her countenance, though placid, was near ashen in hue, and her shallow, belabored breathing possibly hinted at an urge to vomit.
As disgruntled as Jiang Fengmian was that they couldn’t secure a place in the Cloud Recesses Lectures for his daughter beside his sons, his A-Li seemed even more deeply affected, much more than expected. She was trying not to show it, but he could tell she was withering inside. Not for the first time, he permitted himself to mutter certain unkind things towards the Lan Clan under his breath; it was not nearly as satisfying as a true rant, but those carry consequences. A-Li was a blooming lotus --- pure in ways ordinary people could never hope to be --- but she seemed more akin to a wilting fern now. No one should ever be allowed hurt her so. No one has the right.
Now, the Jiang Sect Leader was in a bit of a bind. He knew he would not be able to stand the stifling silence for much longer, yet it was extremely poor etiquette to interrupt someone’s meditation. Disrupting a meditative trance could become fatal in cultivators --- the higher one’s cultivation, the deadlier it could be. On the other hand, A-Li's cultivation should not be high enough for her to feel more than some minor fluctuations in her qi flow from being jolted from such a light trance. Furthermore, he really, really wanted to ask her how she was faring.
A sudden stronger breeze snuck past the curtains. The Spring Festival had recently passed, so winter had nearly fully receded. The light chill of this weak, early spring gust was no match for the warming arrays carved into the very structure of the carriage. Yet, Jiang Yanli still shivered, and a furrow appeared betwixt her brow.
Jiang Fengmian spoke before he even realized his mind was made up, “A-Li, how are you feeling?” Something was dreadfully amiss if even that mild zephyr could affect her to such an extent. Moreover, the movements, though subtle, indicated she was already resurfacing from her trance, so there would no longer be any danger to calling out to her.
Taking a slow, deep breath, Jiang Yanli blinked her eyes dazedly as her gaze gradually sharpened and focused on her father. Puzzled, she replied inquisitively, “A-Die, I am fine?”
Shaking his head in bewilderment, the Jiang Sect Head skeptically refuted, “You are shaking when the weather is pleasantly cool at worst; you are also clearly feeling uncomfortable overall. Please, tell me the truth.”
Hesitantly, Yanli averted her eyes and vaguely conceded, “I am a little uncomfortable, but nothing is seriously wrong. Occasional bouts of such are the norm for me.”
Jiang Fengmian’s brows rose. “You... often ...experience such episodes?” he queried with burgeoning alarm. At her hum of confirmation, he cursed himself inside his head. He had had no idea; he could hardly call himself a father!
With haste, he began steadily circulating his qi to stave off a minor deviation and silently berated himself, Center yourself, you old jackass, it’s not about you. Your daughter needs you right now, so don’t fail again!
Clearing his throat, Jiang Fengmian asked, “This episode... Was it triggered by...?” Yeah, he still wasn’t composed at all.
Still, somehow beautiful, wonderful Yanli understood what he was trying to express and quickly reassured him, “Oh! No, no. Nothing like that.” She demurely covered her mouth and quietly giggled. “The Lan Clan behaved exactly as Mother and I expected, so it was no surprise in the slightest,” she explained mirthfully. “While a shock could make it worse, this condition would occur on its own regardless. There is no cure, but it does not overly negatively impact my health, so you need not worry.”
That...was a lot to take in... Jiang Fengmian sat back and parsed through the landslide of information he just received. Distantly, he understood that his daughter did not, in fact, speak for very long, so it should have been impossible for him to be so overwhelmed. Unfortunately, the hints she dropped led to several startling realizations --- realizations he knew he was happier without, but likewise knew he needed to have.
And Jiang Yanli, his perfect, blessing of a child, allowed him to ruminate in peace so he could gather his scattered mental faculties.
Jiang Fengmian closed his eyes to organize his thoughts. So, first of all, without a doubt, he was a terrible father; that fact could be pushed to the back of the queue for him to contemplate tonight while drinking himself into a stupor. Second of all, he was an oblivious fool; his wife and daughter foresaw something he could have never fathomed to expect; what did that say about him as a leader? Finally: how was he supposed to not worry about something causing his daughter pain?! A-Li, please have mercy on your father! He is but a confused human!
Opening his eyes but not staring at any point in particular, the Jiang Sect Head began, “I might need some clarification: what did you mean when you said you and your mother expected the Lan Clan to behave so shamelessly biased?”
A-li blinked uncomprehendingly and quizzically responded, “...exactly what I said? They did not act out of the ordinary?”
Clearly, he was missing something obvious.
Rubbing his temples to stave off the impending headache --- and wasn’t that a novelty! He hadn’t had a headache since he was a teenager! ...Maybe he was qi deviating... --- Jiang Fengmian bluntly stated, “Just pretend I am an ignorant buffoon with not a sliver of knowledge or sense and begin explaining from there.”
And so, Jiang Yanli hesitantly narrated, “Well...not every man has such a … logical outlook on life as yours. In fact, I daresay all the other ones I know of have been taught by Mother from a very young age.” She paused to gauge her father’s reaction, but while the elder was utterly befuddled, no objections were forthcoming. Feeling more assured, she continued, “Traditionally, women are believed to have one purpose, and one purpose only: producing heirs. We are generally valued for this innate function our bodies possess, but not much else.” Seeing Jiang Fengmian about to protest, she preempted him, “Typically, women are physically weaker and slower than men; in most circumstances, we are considered less useful, and therefore less deserving of respect. As unfortunate as it is, this view has become ingrained into the very structure of our society.”
When she paused again for a steadying breath, Jiang Fengmian indignantly straightened and refuted, “How can this be? Your mother, Cangse, and even Madam Jin are living embodiments to the contrary! Did people not ever question it?”
Jiang Yanli sadly lowered her gaze, murmuring, “They were seen as aberrations to the norm --- almost a deviation from orthodoxy --- and undesirable for that fact. As much as they were lauded for their achievements, they were scorned for not knowing their place. Instead of proof that women were men’s equal, they were turned into examples of what women should not strive to become.”
The Jiang Sect Head lurched back stunned, as if physically struck. “That...that can’t be right,” he whispered in denial. Louder, he began ranting, “How did this come to be?! What part of this is right?! The Lan Clan is supposed to be a paragon of virtue yet they buy into this doctrine?!”
“People believe it because they were always taught to do so from the start and were given no reason to think otherwise. The Lans are no exception,” his daughter replied quietly.
“But surely if more women were given the education to shine,” Jiang Fengmian rambled, desperately grasping for even a shred of sense, “then they could prove without a doubt that they are equal to men. They just need the chance! If I could convince the other sect leaders, then...then maybe...” He helplessly trailed off as he realized the futility of that plan. How was he supposed to convince other sects to accept more female disciples when he couldn’t even convince the Lans to temporarily host his daughter?
Jiang Yanli stared at her father incredulously for a stretch. Finally, her startled expression melted into a fond, beatific one. “We are truly blessed, A-Cheng, A-Xian, and I, to have you as a father.” she softly stated with an edge of awe to her tone.
If he felt wrong-footed before, it was nothing compared to the crushing sensation assaulting his chest now. Choking back wheezing gasps, Jiang Fengmian tremulously retorted, “Your praise is undeserved; I have much to amend.” Now, there were many ways this talk could go; they could move onto this new, very much loaded topic that most likely needed to be addressed at some point lest he implode from guilt --- and possibly destabilize his family, clan, and sect in one fell swoop --- or they could return back to the relatively safer, if no less loaded topic, they were discussing earlier. Jiang Fengmian knew he had to atone for his mistakes; for all that his children loved and looked up to him, he knew he was nothing more than a poor excuse for a father. He didn’t deserve their admiration; didn’t deserve their trust. He owed it to them to be honest and straightforward; at the very least, he owed them a kowtow and an apology.
However, the wound was still too raw.
He wasn’t ready.
And he still owed it to A-Li not to make this conversation about him. Giving himself a firm shake, the Jiang Sect Head laboriously and wholly unsubtly redirected, “A-Li, this... stain on our society...why do you simply allow it to continue? Why do you not fight back? Why play the Lan Elders’ games?”
Visibly tired, his daughter expounded, “How do you speak to the deaf and blind? Because it is widely accepted as fact that women are inferior for all but child-bearing, our words and actions are viewed with the same levity as the antics of a child at best and squawking of animals at worst. While many women would disagree with it, they have no power to change this sentiment; whether it is the head of a household, clan, or empire, men are the ones who rule --- and they see no issue with promoting this status quo. Many do so without being conscious of the consequences of their actions, since the consequences are never theirs to bear.”
Jiang Fengmian winced. While he was sure A-Li did not intend it so, he was certain that comment could apply to him as well. He’d been oblivious for too long for it to not.
“Regardless, following the norm changes nothing; fighting the norm reinforces its hold. Pushing the Lan Clan into hosting me for the lectures was not a battle worth winning. This is not a war won in a generation, and certainly not without subterfuge,” she concluded.
Heaving a weighted sigh, the Jiang Sect Head could only helplessly sag in his seat. It’s just not fair , he bitterly lamented. The carriage descended into silence once more.
After a long while of silent rumination, Jiang Fengmian suddenly developed a rather depressing suspicion. He wondered aloud, “Was this why you avoided night hunts? To avoid making yourself into an “example” like your mother?”
Here, Jiang Yanli grew abashed, much to her father’s confusion. “Actually, Father,” she mumbled meekly, “despite having achieved Shouhua, I am not very strong as a cultivator.” Struck speechless, Jiang Fengmian could only wordlessly gesture for her to elaborate. “I have... My energies are...... I am heavily biased towards Yin.”
Jiang Fengmian reeled back, thunderstruck. This...this was so much worse than what he could have imagined...
Yanli continued, “This does not affect my ability to use spiritual energy, so did not affect my use of Shouhua, but my constitution is not well suited for cultivation...”
No... Oh, A-Li...
“I may never be able to cultivate a core...... I’m sorry, Father...” she ended forlornly.
The Jiang Sect Head was still addled by the ground-shaking revelation, but upon hearing her sincere and self-deprecating apology automatically threw up a hand and repudiated, “Don’t!” The word came out more snappish than intended, as shown by his daughter’s veiled flinch. Consciously reigning in his tone, he proceeded more gently, “Don’t apologize. Never apologize for something beyond your control.”
A helpless reticence ensconced the pair as the carriage trundled on without pause.
As afternoon faded to dusk, father and daughter alighted at a roadside inn to spend the night. Originally, the plan was to stay the night in the Cloud Recesses after the negotiations concluded; that way, they would have had an entire day to travel to one of the multiple ports along the Yangtze for more comfortable lodgings. Unfortunately, what with the bitter end to the circular discussion, Jiang Fengmian was loathe to suffer Gusu Lan hospitality for even a moment more. Yanli was very tolerant of his, in hindsight, childish whim, since she now had to suffer subpar accommodations along with him yet never uttered a sound of complaint.
When the Jiang Sect Leader helped his daughter down from the carriage, a blatant tremor seized her fragile frame. It passed as swiftly as it came, but she curled into herself just the slightest bit --- not far enough to break posture in a stranger’s eye, but apparent enough to a father who has finally learned to look.
Jiang Fengmian near cursed out loud. Subconsciously, he had allowed himself to believe that he had begun making progress on becoming a better parent. The world has cruel ways to slap you in the face with reality.
While ushering his poor daughter into the comparative warmth of the inn, he internally berated himself for forgetting what instigated their groundbreaking conversation earlier. Once Yanli was situated comfortably by a blazing brazier and he had ordered warm tea and dinner, he requested one of the disciples from their protection detail to try to procure a cloak. As for the Jiang Sect Leader himself, he sat down beside his daughter; he needed a few more details about her condition before he could proceed.
“A-Li,” he began quietly, wary of disturbing her rest when she must have already been fatigued from the journey. At her hum of acknowledgement and tired smile, he briskly continued in hopes of concluding the discussion swiftly, “I understand that your propensity towards Yin energy would hinder cultivation and make you more prone towards feeling cold, but your sensitivity seems extreme. Are you certain we cannot find some treatment to ease your symptoms? It would be illogical for you to constantly suffer so if there is a better solution.”
Jiang Yanli blinked slowly at her father. Tone uncomprehending, she measuredly corrected, “But, Father, I am taking regular treatments.”
Now it was Jiang Fengmian’s turn to blink in confusion. “You are? Erm --- that’s good that you are,” he replied awkwardly at length. They descended into silence while they waited for their meal, the girl too exhausted to maintain idle chatter. Unable to bear the oppressive quiet, Jiang Fengmian queried, “When must you take another dose?”
Jiang Yanli seemed to stir awake. “About now, as a matter of fact!” she exclaimed while subtly stretching and correcting her posture. Smiling warmly at Jiang Fengmian, she added, “Thank you for reminding me. I would have had quite the uncomfortable night had you not.” She then requested a waiter for a tea cup and a pot of hot water, despite the tea they were already given, and revealed a small qiankun pouch she had been carrying concealed somewhere on her person. When the hot water arrived with the rest of their food, Yanli poured a small portion of the dry mixture into the pot and let it steep. Based on the aroma, this was the same concoction she was drinking during the failed negotiations with the Lan elders.
The Jiang Patriarch bit his lip in self-loathing. He had thought she was just drinking a different type of tea due to personal preference; he had no idea that it was actually medication.
Perhaps because he had been observing her instead of eating, Yanli explained patiently, “It is an herbal remedy for Yang deficiency. It contains Goji berries, female ginseng, tea tree bark, and a couple of other ingredients in less quantities that I can’t clearly recall at the moment.”
Jiang Fengmian tilted his head in thought. “I seem to remember my mother drinking something similar before,” he mused, “but I think hers was for---” He cut himself off as he realized.
Jiang Yanli smiled helplessly at her steadily reddening father as she responded, “Yin disposition in and of itself is no harm to anything but the potential for cultivation --- that is heavily Yang-based and has no Yin-based alternative --- but I am more susceptible to amassing extra Yin energy than the average person. The nighttime humidity in Lotus Pier, particularly during the winters, encourages Yin energy buildup in people like me. As I have also been careless and gone outdoors after sundown before, I have chronic Yin excess. This is the reason I cannot go on night hunts. It is also why my monthly scriptures (A/N: the official way to refer to periods) bring me more discomfort than they should. This tea helps me regulate my Yin-Yang balance so the discomfort is manageable. It appears this condition is something I share with Grandmother.”
Clearing his throat from discomfort --- a very very different, non-physical kind! --- Jiang Fengmian stammered, “I-I see... Feel free to let me know if you--- if you ever run low.”
His daughter covered her mouth and giggled charmingly. Jiang Fengmian briefly glared at the waiter that interestedly glanced her way before his attention was once more focused on her answer. “Thank you, Father, but sending Jinzhu or Yinzhu as we have been should be enough. I think the apothecary would be unnecessarily bewildered if they needed to give this formula to a man.”
“Of course,” coughed Jiang Fengmian flustered. He shoved a larger-than-was-proper lump of rice into his mouth so he would have an excuse to stop speaking.