Having a cast on her arm was no fun. It restricted a lot of things. It made life miserable at times. But, she couldn't say that. She didn't want anyone to worry over her that much. So, she just put on a smile and acted like everything was okay.
How had this happened? Moca really didn't understand it. She had been practing the guitar, when she had heard a crack. After a strum, she had somehow cracked her wrist.
It had hurt like hell. She never wanted to deal with something like that ever again. It was horrible. Even now it still was. She could get pain shooting up her arm if she moved it the wrong way. It was hard not to react to it.
Moca didn't know how much longer she could hide it. She knew everyone was slowly seeing the subtle changes. It was only a matter of time before they realized her occasional stims were not just that.
So she was faced with a choice. Did she come clean and admit she was struggling or did she try harder to hide everything? The second option was more appealing to her, but she didn't know of it was possible. Could she find a way to mask her pain even more than she already was?
Maybe it was best to just admit it. They wouldn't judge her. They all had been sympathetic since the accident. She shouldn’t have to worry about expressing her feelings, but yet she was.
This was tough.
It was lunch time at school. As usual, the five of them sat together to eat. There wasn’t much of a discussion at first. Moca knew she should speak up now before they started talking, but she couldn't find the strength to open her mouth.
She reached into her bag, but pulled back as pain shot through her immobile arm. She didn't even try hiding it and just rubbed the part of the cast where the pain was pulsating from.
"You okay, Moca?" Himari asked, being the first to notice.
"I... I just moved the wrong way..." Moca tried to smile, "It was just a small jolt of pain for a sec."
"Moca, you sure you're okay?"
Moca's forced smile fell, "Maybe not..."
"Does it hurt a lot still?" Tomoe questioned.
Moca nodded as she stared at the ground, "If I move it, it sometimes hurts..."
"Has the doctor said anything about it?" Ran asked.
"He just said try not to move it. If it doesn't work they'd need to put a different type of cast on." Moca mumbled.
"Are you doing things you should be?" Himari questioned.
"No. Well... sometimes I do things I'm advised against... but that's only because I have no choice." Moca defended. She didn't like that accusation. She more than anything wanted to be out of the cast already.
"Maybe you shouldn't do those thing." Tsugumi suggested, "If it's not really important it can wait until someone else can help you do it."
That was the problem. Moca knew she should be asking for help with some tasks, but she hasn't been. She didn't want to rely on them that much. But, she might have to.
"Alright... I'll try and ask for help more often." Moca hesitantly agreed.
"If you want to get better, you shouldn't be doing things that can set you back. So, please just let us help you."
It seemed they all picked up on the truth. It wasn't that surprising since they knew her so well. That made them feel bad. They should have known better than to just trust her to handle it all alone.
Moca agreed to it. It would help her a lot if she wasn't constantly putting herself at risk of worsening her fracture.