She was in her arms. Safe and warm.
A left hand slowly stroking trough her hair.
Soft Lips resting on her forehead.
Her woody scent mixed with the saltwater in the air.
The sound of waves crashing.
Damp spots on the sweater she is nuzzled into.
Her breathing calm.
Her eyes now dry and closed.
The colors of the sunset still visible behind her eyelids.
Her heartbeat heavy.
The hurt, of a lost one missing, still inside her.
But her mind clearing up a bit.
Replacing the images of her mom with the smell, the noise and the feeling of the present.
She feels so safe.
And so loved.
They didn’t talk much in moments like these.
They knew how the other felt.
Their connection running deeper than humanly palpable to a small rational understanding.
The knowing of being part of something bigger.
Tobin was simply her safe place.
Never made her feel small or lost – even if those exact feelings were bubbling up inside her, when she was doubting herself.
Tobin could sense it. She got soft without even realizing she did so.
It was a wordless dance both of them could dance blind.
With Tobin leading the way for the past few months.
But Christen never felt guilty for the unevenness of their interactions. Tobin didn’t leave room for those feelings.
She was capable of covering everything bad with their love.
Never dismissing any of the feelings.
Just giving her the strength to deal with them.
She never pushed them away.
Instead she found herself often in a similar position to the one they were in right now.
Just the sound of crashing waves in the background wasn’t always there.
She fell apart quickly today.
She hadn’t for a while.
But the feeling came out of nowhere.
The smell of their cooking catapulting her back into the kitchen of her old family home.
Her Mom cooking away so seamlessly while putting what seemed like her whole focus on her daughter’s tales of the day.
She must have been about eight or nine.
She can’t even remember what they ate.
The unusual smell of Ginger, Garlic and a bit of cinnamon in the air.
The smile of her mum.
Imbranded in her heart forever – coated with a cape of grief – just for now.
Tobin felt the sudden shift in her demeanor.
Placing the body housing a heavy spirit, a dark one, a hurting one – on the sand.
Wrapping herself around the shaking body. Letting her tears fall.
Time didn’t matter.
In moments like these everything stood still.
The heaviness always lifted a bit.
A bird singing.
A ray of sunshine
Or the scent of Tobin finally getting into her consciousness.
Today it was the lights of a setting sun – barely recognizable behind closed eyelids.
It took her back to the presence.
Her Hands placed in the pouch of Tobins sweater.
Those soft fingers stroking ever so slow through her curls.
The feeling of sand underneath her feet.
It was enough to open the eyes that have been shut to help her mind work through all the overwhelming emotions.
Feeling the steady heartbeat on her cheeks. Her head resting on Tobins chest.
Rolled up like a ball. Tight and secure – slowly relaxing.
Her eyes adjusting to her surroundings.
Finding the source of the never-ending radiation of love she was feeling harbored in warm brown eyes.
Anchoring herself just to get lost over and over again in these eyes that were never shy to hold her gaze.
No questions – no answers.
No need for anything like that.
The understanding rooted so much deeper.
She let go of the tension in every muscle holding her in the rolled-up position.
Her feet stretching their way through sand.
Somehow now sitting behind each other.
Tobins grip firm around the girl in front of her.
A chin resting on a shoulder.
Heartbeats syncing up.
Eyes overlooking the ocean.
Another storm conquered.
Just another page written in the unreadable book of their love.
The feeling of time still absent.
A few stars shining above them.
A raven-colored head of hair turned slightly.
Warm Lips finding her own.
Breaths that become faster to shake off the last remnants of an unwanted emotion.
The urge for the feeling of being alive.
The happiness of life.
Stored safely between them. Always accessible.
An earnesty behind every action.
Lead by the vanished dancer.
A tender melody. A gentle back and forth.
Little flames that twitch.
Tongues that join in the dance.
A different hand stroking through different hair.
A need for the explosion of live - still hidden behind a quiet melody.
A melody that does not yet know that it will turn into a samba, a salsa, a fire dance and a tango.
A melody whose beginnings can no longer be found.
As if it had always been there.
In the shape of a low humming.
Below the perception of the mind.
Since then it has grown into a masterpiece whose symphonies still play to the same melody - but now supported by violins, trombones and trumpets.
Through the high notes of a flute and the low hum of a contrabass.
A melody that will never fade away. Played by two souls that belong to each other.
Who carried the soft humming within themselves and allowed it to become louder and more diverse until it grew into an overwhelming masterpiece.
Two souls whose deep knowing indicating every note – every step – every new instrument.
A melody that is housed in two hearts and carries the next sounds - the way the notes will be played together.
A melody that today - even if just so quiet and sad - suddenly supported by the lively sound of a fiddle.
Until a caramel colored hand under the sweater indicates the use of the timpani.
The timpani that awakens the rest of the orchestra from a deep sleep.
A thumb stroking over soft skin.
Bodies trying to get closer together.
Although the souls connected in every way – bodies Arching for more unity.
Minds are blank.
Every nerve ending only focused on the moment.
There is no feeling of yesterday or tomorrow.
Of then and now.
There are just breaths exchanged between parted lips. In the comfort of a rhythm – older that time itself.
Tobins body underneath Christens surrounded by the peace of a dark night.
A million stars.
No room for caution – for any rational thought.
No room for words.
Just hands and lips and hips.
A cold breeze – hot skin.
A soft moan.
A thumb brushing over a hardent nipple.
Just covered by the comfort of the soft sweater.
Just a laser focus und those warm brown eyes.
After all this time – a never ending fascination.
A switch to desire.
A point of no return.
The same thumb repeating its motion – on a mission to chase soft sounds.
Soft pillowy lips no longer kissing the ones above her.
looking into the green eyes lit up only by the stars around them - focused on her own.
Deep breaths leaving those lips.
Hands reaching for dark hair. Pulling their lips together again.
Finding their way through those curls to the small of her back.
Pulling her closer.
Christen has to catch herself with the hand currently not exploring one hardened pebble after the other.
The sand moving around her hand.
Slowly burring it deeper.
There is no grip.
Not in the sand.
Not in this moment – in this live.
She is straddling her.
Tongues dancing back and forth.
Never getting enough.
Gasping for air - eyes finding each other again.
Looking so deep into each soul.
The love exploding in her chest.
Like a light radiating in every direction.
She needs her to feel it.
To know it – even more.
She is holding her face with both hands.
Still looking down on the woman that changed her.
In the best way possible.
That allowed her to grow every day.
Not just to be better but to go deeper.
To explore every corner of her being.
Who is just as open and vulnerable.
Fruits of the labor of their love.
Of this feeling that is so much more than love.
She needs her to feel it.
To make their love even stronger.
To thank her.
To praise her.
To set the universe in order.
To heal all wounds. To understand all pain.
To give her all of her being.
She feels her heartbeat.
She feels her feelings.
Still -- She needs her to feel her love.
She knows Tobin can see it in her eyes.
Feel it in every touch.
It’s not enough for now.
The fire is already burning inside her.
Her legs straddling Tobin.
Slowly starting to move with purpose.
Her mind going blank with every moan that leaves those lips.
She needs it to be louder.
It’s one quick motion.
The sweater that caught her tears before thrown beside them.
Peeling the layers separating the collision of raw bodies away.
A now naked upper body no longer laying on the sand.
Her hands immediately finding their way back to the soft curve of Tobins breasts.
Flicking over one nipple or the other - time after time.
She senses the next moves before they happen.
Her own shirt leaving her body.
Just to reveal a simple sports bra that will be gone with the next touch of wondering hands now discovering caramel skin over and over again.
The sound of her own small moans getting swallowed by the sound of crashing waves as lips find the dark skin on her breasts.
Tobins Hands are holding her face.
Her left thumb softly stroking her cheek.
Her breath is already heavier but she is taking this moment.
Looking deep into those green eyes.
She is in awe of the woman above her.
Her strength, her resilience, her passion, her fire.
She has never felt like this with anyone.
She didn’t think feelings like these were possible.
Her heart exploding over and over again.
She couldn’t help but feel humble to have found this in her life.
Thankful to live this live with the most amazing and caring and intelligent human being that was Christen Press.
She is saying all the soft and whispered I – love - yous right now without opening her mouth.
Without a sound leaving her lips.
Their hands have stopped the feverish exploration of exposed skin.
But their breathing didn’t.
She could not – stop – looking - into those eyes.
Feeling one of Christens hands stroking softly through her hazel hair while the other hand held her up above Tobin.
She was on fire.
Her whole body was on fire.
Pulsating in every last nerve ending.
But she had the urge to lay completely still in this moment.
This moment of connection that enlightened the flames even more – without burning anything.
The feelings that were unleashed in this moment left them breathless.
They were one.
They were understood.
They were loved.
They stayed still. Time stood still. Again and again.
A small tear rolled down Tobins cheek.
A tear of compassion.
A tear of thankfulness.
A tear of happiness.
A tear for the heartbeat above hear.
A tear of love.
Their lips slowly made their way to each other’s again. Barely inches apart. Already breathing the same air.
Hands softly stilled on each other.
Eyes slowly closing.
And then they meet again.
Soft and sticky.
Christen could feel every heartbeat on her lips. Softly resting on each other. Synced up.
She kissed her again, and again, and again.
Her tongue flickered over Tobins slightly parted lips.
They picked up the dance again.
It was slow, quiet and … beautiful.
If a kiss could be described with the words of a painting that was just overwhelming with the peace harbored in the colors of a canvas - it would be this.
She looked blissful underneath her.
And still those soft, strong hands were not cupping her face anymore.
They found their ways to her hips.
Ever so slowly moving them against her own.
Christen left those swollen lips on the most peaceful face and slowly made her way down to her neck.
Softly sucking on her pulse point, her earlobe and down her neck.
Tobins heartrate picking up with every kiss. Every soft nibble on intoxicating skin.
Licking down to whirl her tongue around hardened nipples again.
The grip on her hips getting firmer.
Slowly grinding them down. To change that peaceful look back to opened eyes with a burning desire in them.
She knew it was there behind those closed eyes, but she needed to see it.
She wants to hear it.
Tobins back arching up at the tongue circling her nipple.
She really, really wants to make her feel good.
Make her feel every last bit of love that is filling her own body up.
She closes the distance and kisses her slow, tenderly and deliberate because she doesn’t want to rush a single second.
Tobin is softly pulling Christen down on top of her.
Their bare chests pressed together.
The burning desire picking up pace again.
Lips never leaving each other.
She intakes whatever minimal breath she can and kisses her harder, pouring every ounce of emotion she can into it.
This manifestation of their love.
To leave nothing – and everything behind.
When they finally catch some air, those shiny green eyes turned dark with desire - through it - still looking at her with endless affection.
Christen shifts her position slightly, moving her leg between Tobins and causing her hips to buck upward as a short but raspy and deep sound leaves her lips.
She feels a surge of electricity shoot through her.
She grinds her hips down so her own core is resting on Tobins thighs.
A noise similar to the one Tobin just made now builds deep inside her to be released into the darkness of the night.
Tobin wants to tell her how beautiful she looks in these moments.
When all caution is thrown out the window and her body and her face react to every small move.
How intense even her softest moans sound.
How the first twitches of pleasure in her face make Tobin feel things – so many things – that are so hard to control.
How her body covered in a small sheen of sweat is glowing in the darkness.
How perfect she is.
And just beautiful – so earthshattering beautiful.
She can feel Christens soft and skillful fingers slowly pulling down her pants.
She can feel cold damp sand against her hot radiating skin.
She feels those perfect thumbs pressing into the hollows of her hip bones and lips leaving open moth kisses everywhere. The wind hitting those wet spots with a cold sensation.
She tangles her fingers in Christens hair, feeling the silky curls glide through her fingers, fisting her hands around them at the back of her hand to pull her in closer, to get more.
A moment later she is on top of her.
Her own fingers finding her way to the button of christens pants without another thought. Familiar with their melody.
The steps are never taking the same direction – always finding a new pattern.
Christen is spreading her now bare legs. inviting Tobins hips to settle in between them. Their bodies made for each other.
To fit together.
As one perfectly molded piece.
An uncontrolled little roar and a never-ending stream of short puffing breaths leave Christens now parted lips.
Her head tilted towards the sky.
Tobins hips shamelessly grinding down on her.
She is a masterpiece.
Tobin is sure of it.
Lying underneath her is a raw, authentic, beautiful version of everything that’s worth protecting. She is her today and her tomorrow. She is the reason she was put on this earth. Without a doubt.
When Tobin kisses her again the air is knocked out of her lungs. It’s a kiss stealing every breath that she had left.
Swallowing every moan.
In her whole live she never wanted anyone as much as she wanted Tobin.
She feels like she might pass out.
She is just feelings and sensations, and want.
She wants her.
Her eyes are pleading
It’s enough to let Tobins hand find the radiating heat between her spread legs.
Christen exhales with a deep moan when a long finger slowly slips into her.
Their foreheads pressed together.
Christens hips bucking against Tobins hand.
The same finger circling her clit.
When she enters her again the first finger is accompanied by a second one. The moments she feels Tobin slowly pushing another finger in she loses al sense of space and time.
Because she wants to.
She just wants to feel.
She can get lost like this with her.
She just wants to live in this powerful intimacy for a moment…to hold Tobin inside her – around her – on top of her.
Tobin who is skillfully picking up pace.
Who can play her body like a fiddle.
Who without a doubt has the most intense focus you can find on any face in these moments.
Just for her.
To make her feel good.
Her legs start to shake as the fingers curl deep inside her – the electricity shooting right to her ever-tightening core.
Raven colored curls spread around a face filled with pleasure and want. Chasing the euphoria of this life.
Of this moment.
She doesn’t want to close her eyes. Not today.
She needs her to be with every part of her.
Needs Tobin to see what she does to her.
She is a mess of breathless moans and whimpers, her body pulsating and her core hot as energy keeps building inside her.
Tobin wants to kiss her.
Kiss those partend lips sending little moans into the night.
She doesn’t want to look away though.
Forever fascinated with this look.
The fire in those eyes.
Her fingers getting faster without restraint.
Curling against tightening silken walls every other push.
Christen is clutching her tightly, hot, heavy breaths against her face as her hips move against the palm of the hand pressed against her clit.
Her silken walls enveloping the fingers inside her.
Her entire being lost in the entanglement of it all but anchored in the hazel eyes above her.
The eyes that own this moment.
Every emotion, every touch, every moan echoing into the night --- just raw.
Protected by those eyes.
Christen feels herself come apart, her vision blurry, her ab muscles tight,
her leaking entrance quivering slightly as she hugs Tobin tight to her chest
When christen finally lets go --
When the unstoppable release spills on her hand --
When short nails dig into her shoulders --
That’s when she can feel herself shaking too.
Thrown into the waves of her own orgasm without a warning.
To focused on the woman below her to recognize her own climb.
But letting go non-the less.
Her face buried in christens neck.
Without even being touched.
Christen can feel it.
Holding her through it.
She is perfect.
She can’t stop herself.
She needs to –
she just needs to –
-- to find that spot on Tobins neck.
Then rolling on top of her - she trails kisses down over the still shaking muscles of her abdomen to softly push Tobins thighs apart.
Her Lips now leaving kisses on the inside of the soft skin above her knee.
Waiting for Tobin to come down from her high – just to get her climbing up the waves of pleasure again.
She needs to taste her. The scent engulfing her similar to the firm embrace Tobin always holds her in.
It’s her happy place.
And her burning desire.
So she flattens her tongue over Tobin hot center – to lick from her entrance to her swollen bundle of nerves.
The sound that leaves Tobin is a loud – somewhat surprised moan.
She tangles her hands in Christens immediately. Her mind is blank. Still swirling from the orgasm she just had she quickly feels another one building deep inside of her.
She can’t stop the guttural moans leaving her body.
Can’t stop her hips buckling against Christens face.
She can’t stop herself from looking at the most beautiful face bopping between her legs.
A hot tongue pushing deep inside her.
They are holding each other.
The sound of waves still crashing in the background.
Tobin has to scratch her nose
Christen is giggling.
Tobin is adorable.
“Tobin? -- -- I love you -- so much”
The first words spoken in hours.
“and I’m really glad that this is a private beach”
wholehearted laughs echoing through the night.
“I love you too – so much its insane!”
“Do you wanna go skinny dipping?” Tobin asks with the enthusiasm of a teenager.
“I think a hot shower and a glass of wine on the couch might be better – It’s getting quite chilly”
“Deal! – First one in the shower gets to choose a movie!” Tobin shouts while already running towards the house.
Christen picks up the various pieces of clothing – not bothered to put anything on.
Smiling to herself.
Yeah, she really loves this dork.