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A Simple Four Part Plan

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Gendo Ikari sat quietly in the living room recliner, thinking to himself about how to solve the problem. He supposed it would have been easier if he didn’t do this. He supposed that, if instead of keeping the boy close to him, it would have been easier to have let him go. To spare him the pain and paranoia associated with being close to someone so valuable to the Great Game. To not have a constant reminder of his Yui, his beloved Yui, who he may never see again, if not always greet him at least always leave a palatable meal in the refrigerator for his consumption.

It was unusual for him to be in the apartment at this time of day. The only reason why he even risked it was for the simple fact that, for all intents and purposes, Tokyo-3 was his own personal kingdom. Yet the threat of assassination and kidnapping didn’t stop Shinji from predictably entering the apartment at around 4:47 pm after walking the class representative home.

Of course, this was all making excuses to keep himself from confronting the actual problem.

Because Gendo Ikari, the Commander of NERV, the head of the most game changing military development program since the Manhattan Project and single father, needed to explain where babies come from.

“Shinji,” Gendo greeted.

“Dad,” Shinji replied, taking off his bag and pulling off his shoes. “How was work today?”

“It was acceptable. How was school?”

“We had the gym teacher tried to explain sex,” Shinji replied, before looking his father straight in the eye. “Did you put the school up to this, Dad?”

“Son, you are starting to… come of a certain age,” Gendo replied, standing up and walking to the kitchen table. Shinji followed him, setting his bag on the table. “You’re going to be feeling certain impulses. This is normal. I am not going to be hypocrite and tell you what you should or shouldn’t do. However, I believe that knowing the consequences to your actions will aid in gaining the self regulation I lacked at your age.”

Shinji rolled his eyes. “I know about the consequences. Pregnancy and STDs if we aren’t careful, possible relationship troubles if we aren’t ready, emotional trauma if we just assume and don’t talk things through…”

“I do not believe that the well meaning teachers trying not to be fired have explained the consequences well enough,” Gendo replied, holding a bagel in his left hand. “I shall instead demonstrate through the use of a visual metaphor. Suppose that this bagel is a woman, and my right hand is a soon to be born child.”

“Dad, what are you trying to OH DEAR SWEET BUDDAH!”

# # #
Subject: Rei Ayanami: #010

April 27, 2015

00:12:25 Subject leaves the apartment of Capt. Katsuragi. Capt. Katsuragi was asleep at the time. Section 2 agents dispatched to follow subject.
01:24:43 Subject enters into NERV-Starbucks Café, which operates at extended hours for the night staff.
01:26:59 Agents attempt to apprehend subject. Subject drinks full cup of “Red-eye special”.
01:27:43 Agent Tokugawa attempts to use TAZER on subject.
01:27:52 Subject responds to TAZER by kicking Agent Tokugawa in the genitals.
01:28:01 Subject escapes Section 2 barricade, heading east at 100 kph and accelerating at a rate of 3kpm.
01:35:47 Ambulance arrive at NERV-Starbucks Café.
15:47:23 Subject is recorded boarding a plane to Berlin at Seoul International Airport, having changed into a new set of clothes and died her hair black. How subject was able to arrive in Korea without arousing suspicions is currently under investigation.
20:12:09 Subject is recorded leaving Berlin International Airport.

April 29, 2015

06:18:04 Purchase of a medium luxury yatch, 37 firearms of varying types and calibers, naval uniforms, male escort services, and a variety of ████████████████████████████████████████████████ including but not restricted to ██████████████████ recorded.
April 30, 2015
10:32:47 The United States Department of the Treasury notices recorded purchase being made with an illegally generated account number that had access to a NERV cutout holding. Section 2 notified.
17:56:33 Section Two approaches the yacht, which had been informally christened “A BOAT”. When hailed, subject proceeded to scream “I’m on a boat,” in audible range to Section 2 watercraft before firing a burst of automatic gunfire into the air.
17:57:11 Section Two Agent Brown terminates subject, believing subject to be a third party holding the crew and subject hostage.

For formal list of damages, legal actions, costs and commendations see AAR 0501-42015-132AIB.

Subject: Rei Ayanami: #011

April 30, 2015
17:57:11 Subject awakens in ███████████████. Lab technicians quickly leads her through the standard new body protocol.
19:00:53 Dr. Akagi begins psychological evaluation of subject. Subject at this time formally requested that an apology for “going a little crazy for a while” be put on record. Subject’s request accepted, see attached Transcript 3. Subject also requests to be terminated and transferred into a physically younger or older body, citing difficulty adjusting to hormone imbalance. Subject’s request denied.
22:13:36 Evaluation concluded. Subject placed under observation.

# # #

Misato rubbed her eyes, fondly regarding the beer slowly warming in her hands. She was just so tired. They talk about the weight of command, but the reality of the flowery words was just how much damn work it was. There was the paperwork, the delegation, the follow through, and none of that changed the work she had to do through sheer force of will to change NERV from a bunch of paramilitary pencilnecked civilians in uniform to a paramilitary organization that could take care of it’s security. Even then the job was still not near enough done for he likings.

Of course, none of that stopped her raging alcoholism. She knew the why, but in the end she didn’t really care. She wanted to wash down her sorrows and stress with the cheaply produced yet somehow tasty beer. She wanted to drink enough of it to drink herself sober like she did when she was back in the United States. And yet her damnable charge kept her from doing just that.

Rei was… something of a light in her world. She had her moods, but she was a good kid. In most incarnations at least. And really, Misato just liked the girl. It gave her something resembling a normal home life.

Strange things happened around Rei. That made Misato’s life even more difficult by most standards. But she loved the girl. She’s like the little sister Misato never had. At least, the little sister who wasn’t a South Seas pirate.

Just an abomination to nature and nature’s god. And her commander’s dead wife’s clone. Who was functionally immortal.

At that moment, Misato really wanted something stronger to drink.

“Katsuragi? Are you in here?” an older male voice asked through the doorway.

“Yes, Professor,” Misato replied, rubbing her eyes again before looking at the ‘Professor’, Vice-Commander Fuyutsuki. “Wanting to lecture me about my bad parenting?”

Fuyutsuki shook his head, hand reaching in and pulling out a flask. “Not at all. I’m wanting to join you, in fact.”

“Always thought you were a scotch man,” Misato said, a smile on her face.

“You thought wrong. It’s vodka.”

“Oooh. Good stuff or cheap stuff?”

“Cheap.”

“Lucky. So, what’s the plan this time?”

Fuyutsuki chuckled at the statement. “What makes you think we have a plan?”

“The Professor and the Commander always have a plan,” Misato replied. She was good spirits now, although still visibly tired. “You two are legendary for having a plan. So what is the plan this time, Professor?”

“Well, it’s a simple four part plan.”

“I’m listening.”

“First, we finish adjusting Rei’s medication. Second, we check her out.”

“Go on.”

“Third, we reenroll her into school,”

“Yes.”

“Fourth, we release her into your capable hands.”

Misato looked incredulity at Fuyutsuki. “That’s it?”

“That’s it. I told you it was simple.”

Misato sighed. “So you really do trust me with raising her, huh?”

“You’re the most qualified person on base, and you get along with her best.”

“Dammit. Why couldn’t this be easier?”

“It gets worse,” Fuyutsuki added calmly.

“How?”

“The Second Child is on the way to Tokyo-3. The third Angel is prophesized to arrive soon. You have three days to prepare for their arrival.”

“… aren’t you supposed to wish me good luck at this point?” Misato asked.

“You’re technically an American, Captain. Have you ever heard of Murphy’s Law?”

Misato sighed. “Dammit. Any sort of good news?”

“Besides reuniting with Rei,” Fuyutsuki asked.

“Besides that.”

“If we survive, the commander will see about getting you promoted to Colonel, as well as a better dental policy.”