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The Silent Need

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For as long as Greenlee could remember, she had always needed love. This might seem like a silly thing to take notice of because, after all, didn't everyone need love in their lives? Of course they did but Greenlee, unlike most, never did get what she needed. Not until the later years in her life, anyway.

She had spent a good deal of her childhood and all her adolescence wondering why nothing she did was good enough for Roger Smythe. Why she couldn't seem to please him no matter how hard she tried to be what he wanted. Only now, when he was dead, completely removed from her life, did she get her answer.

Roger would have never accepted her because he simply couldn't. There was no reason for him to because she wasn't his daughter. Greenlee was nothing more than a burden Roger had allowed himself to be saddled with so he could advance his career and social standing. The reason he never treated her with any type of fatherly kindness or love was because he just didn't have it.

It wasn't just him though, her mother hadn't cared about her until recently and Greenlee wasn't going to kid herself about that. This whole sudden appearance of upstanding morals was nothing more than a midlife crisis combined with guilt as she finally, for whatever reason, realized just how much she had truly fucked over her only daughter who also... surprise, surprise, was her big meal ticket now.

Despite her anger with her mother, Greenlee couldn't help wondering if she was right about Jackson. He was a good man, that was true, but if he was so damn good why didn't he ever notice her existence? Jackson Montgomery, the all powerful and wise District Attorney with a razor sharp steel trap of a mind. Surely he must have noticed the pregnancy and marriage to Roger didn't add up. Or had he simply assumed that Mary had cheated on him?

That she could believe.

The lies of others, the constant deception, the heartless greed… those were things she knew all too well and trusted in. Very few times in her life had she ever encountered something pure and good. In fact, the one time she did it was taken away from her and god help her, Greenlee believed she would never see it again.

But even her dear sweet Leo had wanted something from her at first. He wanted her money, just like so many before him, and that was why he put up with spoiled behavior and antics. In the end he came to really know her… really love her but it stayed with her always, that he had wanted something from her like everyone did.

No, not everyone she realized in a sudden rush of rage. Roger hadn't wanted anything from her. He wanted nothing to do with her, in fact. Nothing… nothing… nothing! To him she was an insect to be crushed under his shoe, a sick little creature that he couldn't even pretend to stand.

Her hands were scratched and bleeding before she realized what she had been doing and sinking to the ground, Greenlee stared at them blankly. Tears falling as she looked at her hands and asked silently why she was here.

Why she couldn't rid herself of this damnable need to be loved.

After all this time, all the rejections, all the pain, you would think that she would just learn and give it up already. Leave this pissant small town behind and disappear with the wind but she couldn't leave Pine Valley just like she couldn't leave the need she felt, no matter how much she desperately wanted to.

In the distance she heard the sound of leaves being stepped on underfoot and ignored it, too lost in her misery to think it had anything to do with her. She ignored it even when the footsteps stopped right before her, the grass fluttering as long legs folded down and they sat in front of her. But she couldn't ignore gentle hands, soft on her own as they tenderly turned her palms over and traced the scratches with such concern that Greenlee knew the care behind it couldn't be false.

Especially when she looked up and saw who was with her.

"You shouldn't hurt yourself like this, Greenlee," murmured Kendall, resting the smaller woman's hands on her knees as she searched her purse. In a moment, she produced a tailored hankerchief and ripped it smoothly in two then wrapped it around Greenlee's hands. "It isn't good for you."

"Oh?" Greenlee released a bitter laugh. "Then what is? Finding out my entire life has been a lie? That my father isn't my father... that he had a reason to hate me? I guess that's good for me. At least that's what my mother thinks."

Tying off the handkerchief, Kendall met Greenlee's eyes steadily. "I know it hurts. Your life suddenly isn't your own and everything you thought was the truth turns out to be nothing more than a lie." Slowly, she cupped Greenlee's cheek and her thumb traced a gentle path, trying to ease the pain the only way that she knew how. By sharing in it. "I never fit in back in Florida," she whispered and smiling faintly, she pushed a stray lock of hair from Greenlee's eyes. "The Harts loved me but something was always off. Of course, I was popular," Kendall smirked at Greenlee who laughed slightly at her friend's bravado. "That's where my fixation with relationships started, I guess. I thought the more friends I had... the more boyfriends I had... the more anything I had, it would help to fill up this big aching void I had inside myself. But it never worked, Greenlee." Lifting blue gray eyes, she locked them with sad brown. "It never worked."

"I just wanted him to love me," said Greenlee brokenly, taking her gaze away from Kendall's and releasing a choked sob. Crumpling into herself, Greenlee's arms wrapped around her body and she asked in a bare whisper, "Why couldn't he love me? It was the only thing I ever really wanted from him."

Frowning deeply, Kendall moved forward and gathered Greenlee in her arms, pulling the smaller woman onto her lap and holding her close. Rocking them to and fro while Greenlee rested her face against the curve of her neck. "Because Roger was an idiot," Kendall said sharply and when Greenlee laughed ever so slightly, she smiled. Stretching her hands across Greenlee's back, she rubbed it in absent lazy circles and murmured, "They're all idiots if they can't see what we have to offer."

"We're the sexy ladies of Fusion," muttered Greenlee against Kendall's neck, appearing to regain her usual dry sense of humor with these words.

"Yes, we are," Kendall replied with a laugh. Her hands darted down to lightly tickle at Greenlee's sides and immediately she squirmed in Kendall's arms, trying to get away but somehow staying firmly in place. When this strange game died down moments later, Kendall sighed and pulled back to look at Greenlee's tear stained features. Resting her palm tenderly on Greenlee's cheek, she asked quietly, "How about we get out of here?"

A slight dip of her head was Greenlee's only reply and smiling at this, Kendall helped her up. They walked to Kendall's car in silence that somehow wasn't the least bit uncomfortable but what Greenlee found so incredible was her own mood. The world suddenly didn't seem so bleak and horrible and she knew it was simply because Kendall was with her.

And as she sank into a comfortable leather seat, staring at the Pine Valley scenery as it passed by Greenlee realized something that shook her to her very core. The last time she had felt like this was with her husband.

Turning to face Kendall, she took in her sharp jaw line and elegant features. On the surface the woman next to her was nothing like Leo. First of all there was the obvious fact that she was a woman but more obvious was that their individual personalities were totally different. Leo was a charming vagabond, a person never overcome by worry, someone totally at ease with themself. Kendall liked to plan her moves, a person who worried constantly what others thought of her, and was more often than not only comfortable when playing some type of part.

But when Kendall turned to look at her, blue gray eyes twinkled just as Leo's always had. They were deep and full of love, promise, and everything good in this world and as she looked into them, Greenlee felt whole.


"Drinks, we definitely need drinks," Kendall announced as they entered her condo and she flung her coat onto a nearby chair.

Rooting through her refridgerator Kendall made a loud sound of displeasure and lifted her head to tell Greenlee the only thing she had were the English beers Aidan that stored here for his visits. Only she was stopped right in her path when she found herself face to face with Greenlee and releasing an unwilling and very girlish yelp, she leapt away from the other woman.

Something that caused Greenlee to lift an eyebrow in amusement. Deciding to be nice and not make fun of Kendall's reaction, she tilted her head to look into the refrigerator. "Pride of Romsey India Pale Ale?" Greenlee questioned, reading the label as she pulled two beers out of the fridge and handed one to Kendall.

"Aidan bought them," said Kendall, heaving a breath and opening a drawer to retrieve the bottle opener. "But he's always complaining that it's too cold. Soon as he gets over here the first thing he does is take one out of the fridge and put it on the counter." Shrugging her shoulders as she popped the cap off, Kendall gave the open beer to Greenlee and took the closed one for herself. When the other cap flew off, she watched as it aimlessly hit the wall to land in a potted plant and sighed. "I should probably clean this place up sometime." Meeting Greenlee's eyes, she grinned and lifted the beer. "But not right now, huh?"

Smiling in return, Greenlee took a long drink, very much aware of Kendall's eyes on her as she finished off half of the beer in one gulp. When she was finished she rested the beer onto the counter with an audible clink and smirked widely.

"I should've known," Kendall finally said impishly. Taking a swig of her beer, she grabbed Greenlee's hand in her own and dragged them to the couch where she flung herself down with a great deal of relief. Pointing her beer at Greenlee after a moment, she smiled, "You're not a wine connoisseur at all, are you?"

"Not particularly," said Greenlee, leaning back into the couch and kicking off her shoes. Tilting her head back, she rested it on the cushions and stared up at the dots on Kendall's pebbled ceiling, counting them as she spoke. "I had to drink it, going to as many stuffy parties as I have over the years but that's not saying I've ever actually enjoyed the taste. It's too sweet. I like things a little bitter."

"That's appropriate," said Kendall with a snort, laughing when Greenlee poked her absently in the side with her foot. "Hey!" she called out, shoving at Greenlee's foot and giving it a light tickle. "Don't put your stinky feet on me. I'm not your barely loyal and secretly envious serving girl."

They were quiet for a long while then Greenlee sighed and lifting her head she took another drink from her beer. Resting her head to one side, she met Kendall's eyes and said quietly, "People always want something from me. Even now, with mother claiming to do this for my own good, she wants something. She wants me to trust her... to love her like she thinks I should." Burying her face in the cushion, she said in harsh tones, "I'm sick of it."

Greenlee felt her legs being lifted and she felt felt Kendall's hand wrap around her own, taking her beer away and setting it down on the coffee table. Then a hand, wet and cool from the beer it had been holding, rested against her cheek to draw her head up so their eyes could meet. Looking into the earnest gaze in front of her, it was all Greenlee could do not to cry from what she saw there.

"I don't want anything from you," Kendall murmured, her voice honest and clear. Drawing her other hand upwards to hold Greenlee's face gently, she dipped her head, leaving their lips only inches apart. Her breath was warm and slightly bitter, like the beer they had been drinking and it was just as intoxicating. "I promise."

Then, before either of them knew how it was happening, they were kissing. Mouths soft and open, tasting deep from one another as each kiss was more hungry than the last. Greenlee's hands were tangled in Kendall's hair, pulling her close, tilting her head for better access to her mouth as her tongue sought entrance. As this went on, Kendall didn't melt into her touch, not as she had with so many men before. No, she kissed Greenlee back, hard and eager, taking what she wanted with a firm desire that she had thought long lost to her. Only she was wrong, just like she was wrong to say that she didn't want anything from Greenlee because now she did. What she wanted was Greenlee herself.

And she said as much to the other woman when they parted with a whimper, Kendall burying her face in the crook of Greenlee's shoulders, unable to face the possible rejection that was coming. Except it never came and slender fingers hooked under her chin, drawing her eyes upward to look at Greenlee's features soft in their vulnerability. "I want you too," she whispered.

They stumbled into Kendall's bedroom in between kisses, lost in the moment and one another, both not quite believing this was really happening and anything could feel as right as this did. Nothing had ever felt this way to Greenlee, nothing other than Leo but she wasn't with him anymore, she was with Kendall now.

And Kendall... oh... how she would moan into Greenlee as she deepened the kiss to ravish her mouth and Kendall squirmed closer, taking hold of her hips to place Greenlee on her lap, literally putting her on top. Tracing her hands up the sides of Kendall's body, Greenlee rested them on her shoulders, slowly pulling her mouth away and smiling on hearing the groan of disappointment. Blue gray eyes were dark with desire but steady and calm, allowing Greenlee to push her back gently on the bed as Greenlee stretched out to cover Kendall's slender body with her own smaller frame.

"If you ever want to stop just tell me," said Kendall quietly, carefully observing Greenlee as she flipped them over, snuggling her leg in between Greenlee's and fitting them perfectly together as she looked down at the other woman. "Okay?"

"Okay," Greenlee echoed looking deep into Kendall's eyes, knowing full well that stopping was the very last thing that would ever enter her mind.

And knowing this, Greenlee's hands wandered, down and over Kendall's body, and as they continued to kiss, exploring their mouths with a slow draw of passion. Kendall's hands nimbly unzipped the dress that Greenlee was wearing and she gasped as the cool air hit her skin before delicate fingers splayed across her back, warming her with their touch.

Pulling the dress off Greenlee as the other woman sat up for her, Kendall soon tossed it aside and clasped her neck, caressing it with one hand as she kissed and nuzzled it. All while her other hand worked busily on unsnapping the bra until it fell to the floor with the dress and Kendall traced her hand down Greenlee's back in a smooth caress, enjoying the way Greenlee trembled with her touch.

Almost as much as she enjoyed the way Greenlee moaned, low and in the back of her throat as Kendall pressed her into the bed, drawing a nipple into her mouth as she cupped the warm weight of the breast in her hand, loving the feel. Supple to her touch but firm and god, it felt better than anything had before. Greenlee was better than anyone else and Kendall thought she would go mad from it all.

Tracing her kisses across Greenlee's midsection, Kendall moved down to rest her hands right above the lacy top of silk panties. She peered up to lock dark eyes with her own questioning gaze that asked for silent permission. It came with a slight jerk of Greenlee's head and sighing, Kendall slipped her fingers underneath the fine material then slid it completely from Greenlee's body.

Rising to her feet with a languid ease, Kendall began to undress herself. Making it a slow show for Greenlee who was now propped back on her elbows, watching her with a powerful gaze that burned into Kendall, making her warm and eager as she removed the last piece of clothing and lowered herself onto the other woman, shivering at the feel of skin on skin.

Their mouths met in another kiss and when they did, Greenlee's tongue entering Kendall, tasting deep, causing her to tingle all over, she let her hands slip down, finding the edges of the Greenlee's pussy and teasing it, entering slightly only to pull back. The smaller woman groaned into her, pulling away and looking at her with dark pouting eyes and Kendall couldn't help but laugh joyfully, kissing her soundly before moving her hand again, this time fully entering Greenlee, easily slipping inside of her, causing Greenlee to gasp and press herself closer.

Softly kissing Greenlee's jaw, Kendall whispered in her ear, "Do you like that?"

Instead of replying, Greenlee trailed her hands down the expanse of Kendall's body, exploring her curves and valleys before she returned the gesture, slipping her fingers inside the other woman, delighting on feeling how wet and open she was. Kendall really did want this as much as she did.

Feeling reassured now, Greenlee chuckled and leaned into Kendall, breathing against her neck before giving it a tender kiss. "Do you?"

"Bitch," Kendall declared the word boldly with a hard quiver and a gasp, making Greenlee chuckle again at the obvious desire they both felt.

Then they were moving against one another, more fingers added, searching deep as their bodies pressed together, trying their best to gain friction. Kendall's mouth seeking out Greenlee's for a deep kiss, tongues entwined, groaning into each other as they moved closer yet, always closer, their fingers curling inside, pressing on their clits, readying for an orgasm that Greenlee knew she'd never had before. Never, not like this. Not this wet and open. She had never felt like this before. Because before she just couldn't let herself…

…be this free.

As she climaxed, feeling Kendall come shortly after, Greenlee realized none of that mattered because now she was free. Completely and utterly free as Kendall gathered her close, her body shaking from the effects of her orgasm and sighing as slender arms held her. Full lips pressed tenderly against Greenlee's forehead before fingers pushed damp hair from her eyes.

"Well," said Kendall with more than a little bit of fear, heaving a deep breath. Her tones were husky and definitely wry as she continued, "That was something."

"Yes, it was," said Greenlee, chuckling as she moved to rest her body on top of Kendall's, looking firmly into blue gray eyes that searched her own worriedly. Delicately tracing Kendall's cheek with the back of her hand, she murmured, "I don't regret what just happened. How about you?"

"Of course not," Kendall said quickly. Shaking her head, she laughed nervously then took Greenlee's hand and kissing the palm, she wore a determined expression on her features. "I've never felt like this before. It's special... you're special." Looking totally embarrassed, Kendall stared off to one side and muttered, "That didn't sound stupid."

Smiling fondly, Greenlee cupped Kendall's chin and met their eyes. "It wasn't stupid," she said quietly. Arching an eyebrow, she said in imperious tones, "And if anyone tells you it was they'll have to deal with me." Quickly losing her confidence with the words she knew she wanted to say next, Greenlee darted her gaze away as she said softly, "Because I feel the same."

Deciding that the time for words was long since over, Kendall drew Greenlee to her for a kiss, their bodies naturally entwining and moving closer. It was during this moment they silently accepted that what they both wanted and needed most in this world was and had always been the exact same thing. To have someone of their own to love who sincerely loved them in return.