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"Ianto!  I need a hot cup of coffee as soon as possible," Jack said as he was entering the Hub.  "I'm hearing reports of a Blowfish robbing a chemist's in Barry."

Ianto stood still at his station.  His skin was the color of chalk.

"Ianto?  Any sarcastic remarks there, Ianto?"

Jack ran up to Ianto's station, where he was still standing still. 

"Ianto, are you okay?"

Ianto did not respond.

"Looks like something has changed you."

Ianto revealed fangs covering every tooth in his mouth.  He attempted to bite Jack on his neck.  Jack was able to push Ianto off of him and put three bullets in his body. 

The Torchwood team was standing in front of the Hub's cyro-crypts.

"So someone's turned Ianto into a vampire and we have to wait until he drinks the blood of a dead Torchwood staffer so we can talk to him." 

"It's okay, Gwen."  Jack turned his head to check on Ianto as he faced the team.  "Before he joined Torchwood he said he wanted to be an organ donor.  I think he'll feel bad that his blood was used as food but other than that, I'm sure he won't mind."  Jack turned his head again.  "I need you three here in case Ianto goes out of control and does something crazy to Cardiff." 

"What about the rest of us?  My idea of fun doesn't include looking like a pale alligator." 


"What?  He looks like a pale alligator."

Ianto finished feeding.  He hid his fangs and looked normal for the rest of the team.  He pushed the dead body back into the crypt.

"Ianto, what happened to you?"

Ianto hesitated.  "Nothing, sir."

"Nothing?  You have a huge bite mark on your neck, you attempted to kill me and you claim that this is nothing?"

"I said it's nothing, sir." 

There was a loud clanking noise in the basement, followed by a hiss.  Jack ran towards the basement.  The rest of the team except for Tosh followed. 

Tosh went to the Mainframe and pulled up video of the basement.  "Turn on all lights in the basement."

Nothing happened.

"Turn on all lights in the basement."

Tosh called Jack's earpiece. 

"Tosh, are you trying to turn the lights on?"

"I am, Jack, but I think someone--or something--has done something to prevent the lights from coming on."

Jack stopped where he was in the basement, causing Owen, Gwen and Ianto to bump into him. 

"Does anyone have a torch?"

Ianto pulled out a small flashlight.  He turned it on, but dropped it when the flashlight hit his skin.  Jack grabbed the flashlight and pointed it down the basement corridor.

"We're okay, Tosh.  We found a torch.  It looks like someone's smashed out all the lights in the basement.  The power down here's not affected, it's just the lightbulbs.  Can you lock the basement door so whatever's down here doesn't escape?"

"I'm on it."

Tosh closed the door leading to the basement, sealing it shut.



"Did you have anything to do with the broken lights in the basement?"

There was an awkward silence as the team moved slowly down the corridor.

"Did you?"

Ianto sighed.  "Lisa.  She's down here."

"Lisa?  Who's Lisa?"

"Lisa--she's my girlfriend.    We used to work at Torchwood One before the Battle of Canary Wharf.  About a month before Canary Wharf we went camping in Scotland.  As we were falling asleep, a vampire came out of nowhere and turned her.  I decided to leave Torchwood One to take care of Lisa's needs.  At first I bought beef from the butcher for her to suck the blood out of it, but the cattle blood was making her sick.  So I went into blood banks and stole blood."

"So after Torchwood One fell, you begged me for a job working here so you can hide your girlfriend from not only me, but the rest of the team." 


"Which explains why the lights have been smashed out and why you are suddenly a vampire."

"I gave her a blood pouch, but it wasn't enough.  I let her feed on me.  She took mercy on me and made me a vampire." 

"I'm so glad I never met a girl like your Lisa," Owen muttered.

"Well, when we find Lisa, you either get rid of her or I kill you.  I can't allow someone who would let a vampire roam freely in a"--

"Jack!"  Gwen screamed.

A female figure was hanging from the wall in the basement.  The figure quickly attacked Owen, throwing him to the ground of the basement.

"At least I died in front of a beautiful woman."

Lisa bared her fangs.

"Or not."

"Lisa, get off of him," Ianto said.  She refused to move off of Owen.

Gwen shot at Lisa.  Lisa responded by leaping off of Owen and onto Gwen. 

"Please, Lisa, please don' t kill them." 

Gwen's eyes widened.  Owen tried to push Lisa off of Gwen.  Lisa backhanded Owen, who landed on his ass three yards away from where Lisa pinned Gwen. 

Jack handed Ianto an AI knife strapped to his holster.   "I need you to think about cutting Lisa's head off.  After that, throw the knife.  That's the safest way to get rid of Lisa without setting the Hub on fire."

Ianto threw down the knife.  "I can't do it, Jack."

"If you don't kill Lisa, not only are you putting this whole team at risk, you are putting Cardiff and the United Kingdom at risk of a large scale vampire attack."

"Can't you do anything for her?  Maybe you can take out her fangs and have her suck blood out of a tube for the rest of her life."

"No, Ianto.  Owen's a doctor, not a dentist."

"Oi!  I don't think I can keep Lisa off me much longer."

The AI knife flew through the air and cut off Lisa's head.  Lisa's headless body fell to the ground.  Owen ran to Gwen.  Owen attempted to embrace Gwen.  Gwen slapped his right hand.

"That's the thanks I get for saving your life?  Remind me not to accept any favors from you, then."

"Don't worry.  I won't be asking for any favors."

Ianto collapsed in the basement as the basement doors opened. 

The next day a mortal Ianto was in his flat, his stomach covered with bandages.  Lisa's death changed Ianto back to a human.  He was still in pain.  The fight he had with Jack as he was recovering in the Hub was still on his mind.

"I loved her, Jack.  It wasn't me who gave up on her.  You did."

"I didn't even know she was in the Hub.  How could I have given up on her?"

"You've never learned how to love anyone, Jack.  Someday I'll have the chance to save your life and I may not take it."

"That's it!  You're suspended for two weeks.  If you come to the Hub before then, you'll be Retconned."

Ianto thought of Owen, who had taken the bullets out of his body and sewed the sutures up.  Owen could have refused to perform surgery on Ianto and let him die.  He thought of Gwen nearly getting killed by Lisa.  He thought of Tosh, who attempted to oversee everything that happened in the basement while Lisa was tormenting his teammates.  And then he thought of Jack, who could have cut his head off in the Hub instead of letting him recuperate in his flat.   

Maybe it was time for Ianto to embrace Torchwood Three after all.