Xiaofeng hated herself more than she hated him. Falling in love with the same man twice, who was also her enemy, was a fate too cruel. What was also too cruel was that he will never truly remember what he had done to her, never mind the fact that he had also been manipulated without his knowledge. She had no choice but to hate him for her grandfather...but love him for herself. She wanted to kill him as well as kiss him constantly and shecould hardly bear these all-consuming, conflicting emotions. She now understood that love and hate were two sides of the same coin. *Chengyin*...that name will forever be embedded in her soul whether she likes it or not; her fate and calamity all at once. Coming out of the maelstrom that was her mind, she quickly rose from her bed and made her way to his palace. In this moment, love had beaten hate and she needed to see his face. She ignored all the eunuchs, servants, and soldiers who gave her looks along the way and did not stop walking until she stood stock still, breathing in short bursts, beside his bed.
“Chengyin...” she whispered, voice shredded with emotion. He was just wearing his white underclothing and, to make matters worse, his hair was loose. Unwanted memories of the past flashed before her eyes and, with a low pained moan, she collapsed beside him. That must have woken him up because strong hands suddenly pulled her up on the bed. Xiaofeng shuddered as his arms wrapped around her.
“Feng’er...what is wrong?”
Her heart clenched painfully at the intimate shortening of her name as well as the genuine concern coloring his sleep-deepened voice as she felt him caressing her face. Like she was possessed, she suddenly wrenched herself from his grasp and shoved him back down with all her might, straddling him as he went flat on his back with a grunt. Before he could give any type of response for her sudden agression, she leaned over him to kiss him so very passionately. Her hands dove into his hair as she pried his mouth open with her tongue. He finally responded after a few moments’ surprise and Xiaofeng was pleased that he gave back as much passion as he was receiving. They forced themselves to break apart, panting for air before they passed out. Their eyes met right before he quickly flipped her over so that he was on top of her.
“What has gotten into you, Xiaofeng?” he asked, face still filled with worry even though his eyes betrayed his ardor. Deciding to not lie to herself or him tonight, she moaned out as she ran a hand down his chest, “I *need* you, Chengyin...”
His eyes darkened at her plea as he stopped asking questions and, finally, reacted to her shamelessness.
As she came down from bliss, Xiaofeng hid her face in his neck, mortified at her weakness for him. Even now, as they panted to catch their breath, she breathed in his sweat-soaked scent and barely bit back a shamless moan. He spilled into her hard so the seed that wasn’t deep inside her womb made a mess on her inner thighs and she couldn’t muster up any shame, much to her annoyance. They were fully naked, as both of them tore at their clothing in the heat of the moment, and Xiaofeng basked in the feeling of his glistening, muscled body below her as she listened to his strong heartbeat. She felt one of his hands caress down her spine as the other played with her hair. If she became pregnant because of this coupling, she already knew that she would bear the child and love it as it grew. Children were innocence in human form, no matter what their parents did.
“Do you want to bear my child, Feng’er?” she heard him softly murmur. Xiaofeng wasn’t suprised that they were thinking in a similar fashion. It *has* been close two years since they married so it was time for her to actively participate in child-bearing.
“If the time comes...” she vaguely responded.
“Have...have you taken-“ he abruptly stopped himself.
She knew what he was trying to ask. “You know I have not. Sometimes, it takes time.”
He sighed deeply. “And you know I am not pressuring you. It is just...my mother...”
“I know, Chengyin,” she gently murmured against his cooling skin. The Empress Dowager can be a pushy bitch most of the time.
To lighten the mood, Xiaofeng crawled up his body to face him before kissing said face passionately. “Take me more than once this night.”
“Are you certain?”
“Once is not enough. Do not hold back this time, Your Highness.”
“Xiaofeng...” he groaned out as he flipped them so she was below him now. He starting kissing her in earnest as their passion heated up once more.
As soon as Xiaofeng came out of sleep, she could feel the aching after-effects of their many couplings throughout the night. Glancing over, she was pleasantly suprised to see Chengyin still beside her. Hopefully, what came out of this night was a son, for both their sakes. Glancing down her still naked body, she couldn’t help but smile at her husband’s non-subtle possessive markings all over her. The worst of it was on her inner thighs, unsurprisingly. He obviously liked it when his seed spilled out of her and onto said area. Her core itself felt sore as well, but in a good way. They hadn’t coupled in a few months because Chengyin was always busy. She leaned in and kissed Chengyin’s lips once more in parting, slyly opening his lax mouth with her tongue to taste him, before reluctantly pulling away. Gingerly, she got out of his bed and pulled on her outermost robe around her as she made her way to the baths.
As the physician felt her wrist, she forced herself to calmly breathe. The nausea had subsided, but she knew it would come back sooner rather than later. Hopefully, this wasn’t *just* an illness considering a few weeks had passed since that passionate night and they hadn’t had the time to couple again. A familiar hand soothlingly caressed through her hair, relaxing her. She felt the physician’s touch leave her wrist and she pulled it back under the covers.
“Congratulations, Your Highness Crown Princess, you are pregnant.”
Bone-aching relief traveled through her as she thanked the physician, promising to reward him. She also intructed him to inform the Empress Dowager immediately as he bowed and left. Shifting her attention to the person laying beside her, she met his eyes which were all but glowing with happiness. She gave him a soft smile as she shifted even closer until she was half hidden in his embrace, hiding her face in his chest.
“Are you happy, Feng’er?” he asked excitedly.
“I will be when I can eat again without vomiting,” she mumbled.
Xiaofeng more felt and heard his laughter. “All will be well soon, my love. Our son will be here before you know it.”
She sighed. “He better be.”
They rested like so as dusk fell and dinner was eventually served. As Chengyin gently extracted himself from her lingering hold and made his way to the table, she rolled over and watched him eat, envious at his ease. Surprisingly the smell of food wasn’t her problem; it was her tongue. The taste of food was off for her so it was frustrating to try to eat. And when she forced herself to try, all of it would come back up eventually. The physician assured her that this will stop soon and she was impatiently waiting for the day where she could eat anything she wanted again.
“Are you hungry, Xiaofeng?” she heard him ask.
She shook her head. “Not now. I will try later.”
He turned to frown at her and she grinned at his concern. “I am fine, Chengyin.”