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What do you say (when there’s no more buffer)

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Merry Derek Day: Happy birthday

Derek: No.

Merry Derek Day: What?

Derek: You’re terrible.

Derek: I hate you. 

Merry Derek Day: No you don’t

Merry Derek Day: My magical werewolf lie detector says so

Derek: Over the internet?

Merry Derek Day: It’s all part of my special powers. 

Merry Derek Day: Of which I have many

Derek: No sex jokes. 

Merry Derek Day: Fine

Merry Derek Day: Because it’s your birthday

Merry Derek Day: I guess I’ll refrain

Merry Derek Day: Just for today

Derek: That’s the best birthday gift you could have gotten me. 

Merry Derek Day: I got you a real gift.

Merry Derek Day: You did pick it up, right?

Derek: I did. 

Merry Derek Day: And you haven’t opened it yet?

Derek: I have not. 

Merry Derek Day: Good boy.

Derek: I take it back. 

Derek: No dog jokes is the best present you could have gotten me. 

Merry Derek Day: Does that mean I get to make sex jokes again?

Derek: No.

Merry Derek Day: You’re making me work for it, Der. 

Derek: Am I allowed to open my present now?

Merry Derek Day: No

Merry Derek Day: Because you’re mean to me

Derek: Jesus Christ. 

Merry Derek Day: Love you too, Der-Bear

Merry Derek Day: Of course you can open it

Merry Derek Day: Just make sure you’re sitting down

Merry Derek Day: Don’t want you to fall over

Merry Derek Day: And maybe warn Laura first

Merry Derek Day: Just in case you scream

Derek: I’m not going to scream.

Merry Derek Day: How would you know?

Merry Derek Day: You don’t know what the present is

Merry Derek Day: It probably doesn’t even smell like me anymore

Derek: Should it?

Merry Derek Day: I wanted it to

Merry Derek Day: As a bonus gift

Merry Derek Day: But the US Mail is too tricky for that

Merry Derek Day: I tried though

Merry Derek Day: Insert you tried star here

Merry Derek Day: Derek?

Merry Derek Day: Derek?

Merry Derek Day: Did you open it?

Merry Derek Day: Did you?

Merry Derek Day: Derek?

Merry Derek Day: Do you like it?

Merry Derek Day: Please tell me you’re not on your way to California to kill me

Merry Derek Day: I don’t want to die before meeting you

Merry Derek Day: Wait, if you’re here to kill me, I’m meeting you

Merry Derek Day: Never mind, I’m fine with it

Derek: This is Laura – the superior sibling

Merry Derek Day: Laura! 

Merry Derek Day: Is Derek okay?

Derek: Meh

Merry Derek Day: Meh?

Derek: He’s emotional and his murder brows are unsure of how to act about it. 

Derek: It’s kind of adorable. 

Derek: You did good, kiddo. 

Merry Derek Day: I’m twenty-two years old

Derek: I’m twenty-nine

Derek: You? Are a child

Merry Derek Day: Can I get Derek back now?

Derek: As soon as he’s done losing his shit.

Derek: I’ll record it for you

Derek: For if he ever gets his head out of his ass and meets you

Merry Derek Day: Thanks

Merry Derek Day: You’re not a terrible sister

Derek: I know


It’s not easy trying to get work done with his sister lurking the whole time. He has several translations to finish by end of business today, and Laura’s constant commentary is really not helping him. Derek prides himself on delivering quality work always, and he can’t do that if there are random Laura-like phrases in the midst of the article he is translating from Spanish into English. He’s probably lucky it’s a Spanish to English job. 

Doing the English to French website text for that Canadian company is going to be a lot trickier, and that too is due today. But his sister has a bee in her metaphorical bonnet. 

Laura would never be caught dead in an actual bonnet. 

“I cannot believe you didn’t get me a ticket,” Laura pouts dramatically. “Or Travis. You know he’s almost as much of a dork as you are. You’ve played Dungeons and Dragons together!” 

For some reason Laura only thinks that is hilarious and semi-embarrassing when it involves Derek, not when it involves her husband. Which is typical Laura, and the kind of hypocrisy Derek just loves to point out to her whenever he can. Because he knows Travis won’t - the former football star is far too in love with Derek’s petite and supposedly adorable sister to be on Derek’s side about this. Even though he occasionally should be. 

Derek likes him, though, likes that he had no problems becoming a Hale instead of keeping his own name when he got married, and likes that Travis usually plays against type when they do play D&D together. He prefers playing a character with healing abilities over a fighter. 

Even though he’s built like a tank and he’s only gotten stronger since Laura turned him. It’s kind of ridiculously cartoony at times, but it’s good. It’s like Derek’s Dad is back, like Stephen Hale effortlessly lifting the car when a soccer ball got caught underneath. Soon Travis will be doing the same thing for the next generation of Hales, Derek is sure of it. 

“Travis doesn’t like cons,” Derek knows this, because he actually asked Travis. 

“But I do,” Laura argues. “Yay nerd stuff!” 

The cheerleading bit is less than sincere, because while Laura doesn’t actually give a damn about things that people consider too nerdy for a girl like her, she’s never been all that interested in that kind of thing. But then again, Laura probably sees enough monsters in her day job with the NYPD to fight some more when she’s off the clock. 

“Do you?” Derek does not believe it one bit. “Do you really? Or do you just want to stalk me and watch what happens when I meet Stiles? I’m pretty sure that’s your real reason.” 

Stiles

That situation has the potential to be either incredibly embarrassing or the best thing that has ever happened to Derek, and he knows that while Laura is absolutely hoping for the latter, she’d still laugh her ass off if it turns out that it’s the former. It’s just the older sister code - Laura claims that there’s a guidebook she’s following, and Derek’s called bullshit every single time. 

“I could be into nerd stuff,” Laura is just not willing to let this go. “I have a great phone voice - I could totally become one of those voice actors. I could even do werewolf sound effects. I’m sure there are cheesy CW shows that need werewolves.”

Laura worships the CW - usually not any of the supernaturally inclined stuff, unless she wants to laugh at how wrong they are about absolutely everything concerning werewolves. She prefers the teen dramas, the high school stuff about relationships and all the pointless drama that seems to come with it - only on those shows though. 

Derek’s just glad that Glee went off the air years ago. That had been a rough time in their brother-sister relationship. 

“They might cast you as a vampire instead,” Derek teases. 

“Ew, gross,” is the predictable response. “I’m way too tan to be a vampire. And I don’t sparkle.” 

She’s right about that much. They’ve both inherited their mother’s olive skin, but while Derek’s inherited Stephen Hale’s pale eyes, Laura looks more like Talia. The older she gets, the more she reminds Derek of their long-lost mother. And it hurts, but it’s also kind of amazing, because Laura is all of the best things about their mother and some of the most annoying things about their uncle Peter. And since Cora continues to be disappointed in their general existence, and their refusal to go back to the Hellmouth that is Beacon Hills… Laura feels like she needs to be twice as much of an annoying sister to make up for Cora’s absence.

Derek is not sure that reasoning makes any sense, but arguing with Laura about it is futile. 

“But you have such a sparkling personality,” Derek has to take that shot. 

“Dipshit,” Laura rolls her eyes at him. 

Maybe this means that she’ll actually leave him alone for long enough to allow him to at least finish the Spanish to English translation. There are some highly specialized terms in there that he really needs to get right - luckily he’s translated things for this client before, which means there’s some stuff in his terminology database that will be of use to him. 

If all else fails, he’s told the Canadian company he’d get the news items back to them by start of business tomorrow. They’d only sent it to him this morning, after all, and he wouldn’t have taken it, except they’re a recurring client and they pay well because they like his work. He’ll just have to work a bit late and send Stiles a message that he’ll be late for their pre-meeting chat. 

By this time tomorrow, he will have met Stiles. Now that’s a thought. 

“That’s your Stiles face,” Laura startles him yet again - on purpose of course. 

“I don’t have a Stiles face,” Derek sighs and hits backspace again. “This is just what my face looks like, Laura. You should know that by now. After twenty-six years.” 

Laura likes to remind Derek of how long she’s known him, sometimes rather forcibly reminding him that no one else knows him as well as she does. And well, that probably used to be true, but there are things that he’s told Stiles that he’s never wanted to talk to Laura about. It’s easier when the person you’re talking to isn’t in the same room. Or in the same city or state. It’s easier when it’s Stiles, who only makes fun of him for things that don’t matter and then proceeds to admit to his own flaws and feelings with charm and ease. 

“I’ve never seen you look this sappy and this worried at the same time,” Laura thinks that’s actually helping. “It would actually be cute if you were anyone else. But because you’re my little brother, with the emphasis on little, I can’t ever think of it as cute.” 

Well, this isn’t exactly a normal situation for Derek. Stiles isn’t normal - which is a joke that Stiles himself would definitely have made by now - and the way Derek feels about him is annoyingly special. It’s occasionally embarrassing to have these kinds of feelings about someone he’s never even met, someone whose voice he’s never heard. Hell, he doesn’t even know Stiles’ scent, so it’s almost like he’s human and ignorant of far too many things. 

Still, Stiles too is a werewolf, so they’re in the same boat there. Bitten, not born, and with a ton of crazy misconceptions because of it, turned by a feral Alpha as a teenager without anyone to teach him the realities of being a wolf. An Omega. 

Perhaps, when they meet, Derek could let Stiles into his pack. Their pack. If he wants. 

“Yep, definitely your Stiles face,” Laura can’t even let him have a moment’s peace. 

“Laura, I’m working,” Derek reminds her yet again. “I told you three times now. I promise to listen to your mocking later, but right now I have things to finish.” 

It is hard enough trying to finish everything while he’s constantly distracted by thoughts of what tomorrow will be like, but Laura’s presence just makes it even more difficult. It’s times like these that he seriously considers moving out of their pack house, the brownstone that has been their home since they left Oregon after the fire. It’s been over ten years since they moved to New York, and it’s taken a while for it to feel like home. He doesn’t want to have to start over again. 

Though maybe, for Stiles… If Stiles asked….

He won’t, though. He has a whole life in California. Why would he want to be in New York? 

“Boring,” Laura sighs heavily, trying to read over his shoulder. 

“Just because no one’s holding a gun on me while I do it,” Derek brings up that age old mock argument, “doesn’t actually mean that my job is boring. Almost done with this one. I’ll let you have fifteen minutes to make fun of me before I have to start the next thing.” 

Shit, fifteen minutes is way too much. He should have started with five and let her bargain her way up to ten, or maybe even fifteen. But he really doesn’t have the patience to get through that argument again, so he’s just going to let her win for once. Even though giving Laura a finger is like giving her both hands and feet. 

Next time, he’s basically fucked. 

“You’re a good brother,” Laura condescendingly pats his head. 

“You’re the worst,” Derek promptly responds, ignoring the hand messing up his hair. 

Laura leaves his office and loudly stomps downstairs in the direction of the kitchen. Well, at least Travis will be home soon. That way the odds are good that he’ll salvage what’s left of what Laura would call dinner before they have to get take-out yet again. 

Derek really doesn’t need food poisoning tomorrow. Sure, it usually doesn’t last that long for werewolves, but if anyone could find a way, it’s Laura. 


So I got turned into a werewolf??

113.9M views - 24 September 2017 

NotYourAverageTeenWolf - 753K subscribers

Hello internet. Some weird shit’s going on, and I’m going to get to the bottom of this. 

TRANSCRIPT

[...]

I’ve lived here all my life. I’m pretty sure I would have known if there were werewolves roaming free in California. 

Free-range werewolves. I’m sure they’re superior werewolves, which means whoever fucking bit me turned me into the superior kind of werewolf too. Which is just great, except I didn’t ask for this, and I’m pretty sure that someone would need to consent to something like this. Like, the enthusiastic kind of consent, with a couple “are you sure”s thrown in for flavor. 

This is life-changing shit, and the asshole that did it just ran off into the night. 

At least the deer are scared of me now. 


What’s A Stiles, Precious: Sup, Der-Bear

Derek: Did you have to change your nickname again?

What’s A Stiles, Precious: Yes

What’s A Stiles, Precious: Clearly

What’s A Stiles, Precious: What else have I got going on while I’m waiting for you?

Derek: Thanks?

What’s A Stiles, Precious: Yes, you should thank me. 

Derek: What’s so urgent?

What’s A Stiles, Precious: New York Comic Con tickets for sale

Derek: That’s it?

What’s A Stiles, Precious: Oh, I’m sorry, did you not want to be in the same place as I am just once before we both die of old age?

What’s A Stiles, Precious: You first, of course. 

What’s A Stiles, Precious: Because you’re ancient

What’s A Stiles, Precious: Late twenties

What’s A Stiles, Precious: Soon you’ll be thirty and get grey hair

What’s A Stiles, Precious: Though, knowing you

What’s A Stiles, Precious: You’ll get all silver fox-y

What’s A Stiles, Precious: Some guys have all the luck

Derek: Wait, what?

What’s A Stiles, Precious: I’m coming to New York, baby. 

What’s A Stiles, Precious: The baby is a reflex

Derek: Of course it is. 

Derek: You’re coming to New York? 

What’s A Stiles, Precious: Yes. This summer

What’s A Stiles, Precious: Coming to a nerd gathering near you

Derek: Are you fucking with me?

Derek: Because I can still rip your throat out

What’s A Stiles, Precious: With your teeth, I know

Derek: With my teeth.

What’s A Stiles, Precious: Great minds!

Derek: Explain.

What’s A Stiles, Precious: I love your consistent use of punctuation

What’s A Stiles, Precious: That just really does it for me

What’s A Stiles, Precious: Like, ooh, gimme that period baby

Derek: The baby is a reflex? 

What’s A Stiles, Precious: Exactly

Derek: Stiles. 

What’s A Stiles, Precious: Yes, Der-Bear?

Derek: Explain. 

What’s A Stiles, Precious: I guess. 

Derek: Stiles. 

What’s A Stiles, Precious: Alright, so I may have miraculously been able to win myself a ticket and a flight to New York. So my broke ass is coming to see you. 

Derek: Me? 

What’s A Stiles, Precious: No, my other favorite werewolf

Derek: I’ll tell Laura you’re coming. 

What’s A Stiles, Precious: Please do

What’s A Stiles, Precious: That way she has time to ditch her husband for me

Derek: Travis could bench press you. 

Derek: Two of you. 

Derek: Maybe even three. 

Derek: How skinny are you these days?

What’s A Stiles, Precious: Hot

Derek: Are you really going to hit on both of them?

What’s A Stiles, Precious: Jealous? 

Derek: No.

What’s A Stiles, Precious: That’s cold, Der. From my own fiancé. 

Derek: Are you still on that?

What’s A Stiles, Precious: Of course I am. You said you’d only marry someone who could read at least one page of the Aenaid in the original Latin

What’s A Stiles, Precious: Don’t tell me my studying was in vain

What’s A Stiles, Precious: I swear, Der, if it was a joke

Derek: You’re the joke. 

What’s A Stiles, Precious: Don’t challenge me

What’s A Stiles, Precious: I’ve gotten my friend Lydia to teach me. She’s a genius

What’s A Stiles, Precious: Total math and physics nerd

What’s A Stiles, Precious: Not as good at history and languages as you

What’s A Stiles, Precious: But better than I am. For now

What’s A Stiles, Precious: Der?

What’s A Stiles, Precious: Say something

What’s A Stiles, Precious: Please

Derek: Stiles.

Derek: Laura called. 

What’s A Stiles, Precious: Did you tell her?

Derek: I did. 

What’s A Stiles, Precious: And?

Derek: She wants to meet my fiancé. 

What’s A Stiles, Precious: Oh, now you’ve done it

What’s A Stiles, Precious: I’m going to harass Lydia into giving me more lessons

What’s A Stiles, Precious: Because you’re worth it

What’s A Stiles, Precious: Clearly

Derek: When is Comic Con?

What’s A Stiles, Precious: This summer. 

What’s A Stiles, Precious: Late July

Derek: I have plans that week.

What’s A Stiles, Precious: You’ve GOT to be FUCKING kidding me

What’s A Stiles, Precious: What plans?

Derek: Going to New York Comic Con to meet you

What’s A Stiles, Precious: You asshole

What’s A Stiles, Precious: Are you trying to become a widower before we even get married? 

Derek: Revenge is sweet. 

What’s A Stiles, Precious: Get your tickets, asshole

What’s A Stiles, Precious: It’s not worth it if you’re not there

Derek: Romantic. 

What’s A Stiles, Precious: You’re worth it

What’s A Stiles, Precious: Now buy your damn tickets already


Derek totally isn’t nervous. Not at all. 

It’s not like he’s about to meet the love of his life for the first time, or anything. After years and years of talking online, since Derek was nineteen and Stiles was just a sixteen year old brat, they are finally going to see each other in real life. 

They have never exchanged pictures – Derek had been extremely adamant about it in the beginning of their friendship, because he’s had more than one friend who was just using him because he’s attractive and reasonably popular. Not as popular as he was back in high school, because he was probably a lot more outwardly nice back then, but he still does okay for himself even at twenty-six. 

He has friends. Laura would say that he definitely has friends, but that’s a reference that’s not really up Derek’s alley, so he usually elects to ignore it and his older sister when she gets like that. Or when she makes fun of his nerdier hobbies yet again. 

Of which there are many. Most of them because of Stiles. 

Speaking of Stiles, he’s late. As expected. Stiles had actually warned him about that, something about having other commitments that weekend and having to do some kind of extremely delicate balancing act. It was a weird story, but not something that he was going to be distrustful about, because it’s Stiles and Derek actually trusts him more than anyone. 

Anyone except his sister, for now. But maybe after they meet…

A very pointed cough draws him out of his head and into reality. 

“Can I help you?” A blonde at the registration desk smiles at him. 

It’s slightly predatory, but seeing as Derek too is a werewolf, he’s not too worried about her. 

“I’m waiting for someone,” Derek ducks his head, because any second now she is going to start asking follow-up questions and they’re bound to get embarrassing. 

How does one explain that they’re meeting someone they met online? Surely he is not the first, and he will not be the last, person who this woman sees practically losing it while waiting to meet someone. He might not even be the only one who’s meeting someone for the first time today. Still, it is not something he’d explain to someone who doesn’t get it, get fandom and the important relationships that can be built in the thick of it. 

Though if this woman is working at a con, maybe she does get it. 

“Girlfriend?” The blonde asks, still with that predatory grin. “Boyfriend? Significant other of any gender? Sibling? Parent? Friend?” 

Derek appreciates that she’s not just giving him the girlfriend option, because that is still the assumption that most people make. But gender or sex has never mattered all that much to Derek - it just has to be the right person. And sure, he’s been terribly wrong about it being the right person a couple of times now, but it’s not like he could have known about how evil both women were. The first time because he was a stupid kid, and the second time because he’d been magiced into trusting this person. 

Stiles is different in so many ways. No way to use spells through the internet, but also no way to know for sure that Stiles is telling the truth. Because werewolf senses don’t work either. 

“Future husband,” Derek says, because Stiles is not here to hear him say it. 

If Stiles were here to hear him say that, Derek would be relentlessly mocked for a while before Stiles actually realized that Derek just mentioned their supposed joke in front of other people. Though Derek is pretty sure that it’s not just a joke - not just to him anyway. 

He hopes it’s more than a joke to Stiles as well. 

“Nice,” the blonde holds out a fist for him to bump. 

“Thanks?” Derek awkwardly goes in for the fistbump. 

It’s weird to make new friends like this, but the woman is enthusiastic and only making fun of him a little bit. And also, it’s good to establish good relationships with other werewolves in the area, even though he’s never seen this woman before. The scent is new too - perhaps she’s a recent transplant to New York City, and has yet to find a pack. 

Derek pushes that errant thought aside, because it’s not immediately important, and makes an effort to smile at the female wolf. Because she’s likeable and she’s humoring his anxiety. It’s really ramping up right about now, because Stiles still isn’t here. 

“I like to see some love at cons,” the blonde grins. “I’m Erica, by the way. I’ll be volunteering all weekend, so just hit me up if you or your future husband need anything. And me and my future husband - Mr. Gorgeous over there - will do what we can to facilitate love.” 

When Derek is busy looking at said Mr. Gorgeous - and yes, he totally agrees with Erica - someone crashes into him. Apparently they’re too busy talking to the person with them, a man with a crooked jaw, fiddling with an inhaler, to pay attention to where they’re going. They’re lucky that Derek is made of stronger stuff than most, because a human would have been bowled over with the force of the stranger’s movement. 

It seems very likely that this stranger is a supernatural being as well. And an attractive one at that. A very attractive one. 

“Sorry,” the cute stranger smiles at him, and Derek knows he’s being awkward. 

But he can’t help it. How is this person exactly his type somehow? He’s of a height with Derek, not as broad and with a hint of lankiness. The eyes are bright and beta gold - and not just because the guy is definitely a werewolf. That’s just what his eyes look like. 

Which, as Stiles would say, is just rude. 

“Nope, actually,” the stranger’s smile turns into a smirk. “I’ve just decided that I’m not sorry. Not if I get to talk to you. Hi, nice to meet you, my name is-” 

The stranger is definitely at least trying to flirt with him, and Derek is more charmed than he’d expected to be, when he’s supposed to be waiting for Stiles. Maybe it’s because this guy reminds him a little bit of Stiles, with the mischievous spark in his eyes and the teasingly calling out Derek’s attractiveness. Stiles does like to talk about how hot he thinks Derek is. 

Stiles has never even seen a picture of him, that idiot. 

“Mischief productions?” Erica seems to recognize this stranger. “Welcome to Comic Con.” 

That certainly distracts the stranger from his flirting, which is good, because Derek forgot to be on the lookout for Stiles for at least a minute there. He’s a terrible fiance, but he’ll totally apologize to Stiles. If he ever shows up. Which he hasn’t. 

All that and no Stiles. Still. 


A wolf has two faces

81.9m views - 28 september 2017

NotYourAverageTeenWolf - 753K subscribers

Content warning: I look fucking weird. Suddenly the crappy vampire make-up from Buffy makes a lot of sense. 

TRANSCRIPT

[...]

I’m so glad I didn’t make this into a live event, my people. At least this way I can cut out some of the boring stuff, like me cutting my finger on my own fangs because I really needed to touch them and I totally forgot they were sharp as fuck. 

No worries, though. Werewolf healing is kind of nifty. I would show you the non-wound, except my claws are out and I’m having some trouble withdrawing them. 

I swear, I’m going to sniff out the idiot who decided it was a good idea to turn me - hyperactive spazz me - into a werewolf, and make him show me how to get good at this. Because this is totally going to be a pain in the ass to learn, and I’d like my wolf-y Yoda now. 

Do or do not, there is no getting stuck with a wolf face. Or something like that. Please don’t sue me George Lucas. 


Tomorrow, I love you tomorrow: Almost!

Derek: Still?

Tomorrow, I love you tomorrow: I’m going to keep doing this

Tomorrow, I love you tomorrow: Be glad I haven’t changed it hourly

Tomorrow, I love you tomorrow: Only 19 hours till I see you

Derek: Are you sure you don’t want me to pick you up at the airport?

Tomorrow, I love you tomorrow: Make you drive to JFK during rush hour? 

Tomorrow, I love you tomorrow: You’d rip someone’s throat out halfway there

Tomorrow, I love you tomorrow: Traffic is awful

Tomorrow, I love you tomorrow: I’ll make it work

Derek: If you’re sure.

Tomorrow, I love you tomorrow: I mean, I’m super glad that you’re actually excited to see me

Derek: Of course I am. 

Tomorrow, I love you tomorrow: Really?

Derek: We can’t all have your natural exuberance.

Tomorrow, I love you tomorrow: So, when are we planning the wedding? 

Derek: What if you take one look at me and forget all about marrying me?

Tomorrow, I love you tomorrow: That’s my line

Tomorrow, I love you tomorrow: You’re going to see me and be like

Tomorrow, I love you tomorrow: This guy?

Tomorrow, I love you tomorrow: Nope

Tomorrow, I love you tomorrow: And then change your phone number and email address

Tomorrow, I love you tomorrow: And I won’t be able to find you

Tomorrow, I love you tomorrow: Because I still don’t know your last name

Derek: Internet safety is important.

Tomorrow, I love you tomorrow: But shouldn’t I know my future last name?

Derek: I thought we were hyphenating.

Tomorrow, I love you tomorrow: You have no idea what you’re saying yes to

Derek: If it’s important to you, I don’t care.

Tomorrow, I love you tomorrow: We are totally getting married

Tomorrow, I love you tomorrow: After you’ve met my dad, though

Tomorrow, I love you tomorrow: He’ll kill me if I get married before he can meet you

Tomorrow, I love you tomorrow: He’s only been forced to hear me go on and on about you for seven years now

Tomorrow, I love you tomorrow: I think it’s time

Derek: Decide after you’ve seen me. 

Tomorrow, I love you tomorrow: What kind of crazy secret are you hiding?

Tomorrow, I love you tomorrow: Are you secretly eighty? 

Tomorrow, I love you tomorrow: A twelve year old girl?

Tomorrow, I love you tomorrow: No wait, you would have been 5 when we met

Tomorrow, I love you tomorrow: A seventeen year old girl?

Derek: I’m twenty-six. 

Derek: You sent me a gift on my birthday. 

Tomorrow, I love you tomorrow: Through a PO box

Tomorrow, I love you tomorrow: Because you’re paranoid

Derek: It’s not paranoia if people are out to get you

Tomorrow, I love you tomorrow: That’s dark, Der

Tomorrow, I love you tomorrow: But anyway

Tomorrow, I love you tomorrow: No matter what I see tomorrow

Tomorrow, I love you tomorrow: I’m still gonna wanna marry you

Tomorrow, I love you tomorrow: Unless you’re eighty

Tomorrow, I love you tomorrow: That might be a line I can’t cross

Derek: Twenty-six. Still. 

Tomorrow, I love you tomorrow: Shit

Derek: What.

Tomorrow, I love you tomorrow: No question mark?

Derek: Stiles?

Tomorrow, I love you tomorrow: You troll

Tomorrow, I love you tomorrow: I adore you

Derek: Why shit?

Tomorrow, I love you tomorrow: Because I have no idea what you look like

Derek: Yes. 

Tomorrow, I love you tomorrow: How the hell am I going to recognize you?

Derek: Oh. 


Stiles is now thirty minutes late. Thirty minutes. 

And he hasn’t sent a message either, not even a quick IM about running late and if Derek could please just wait for him a little while longer. There’s just silence, and Derek wonders if maybe this is all part of a prank of some kind. It would be just like Stiles to make him wait for an hour, wearing a stupid hoodie with a Batman cowl because that’s what Stiles asked him to do. 

Because apparently that’s how they’re going to recognize each other in a sea of cosplay and geeky details. A hoodie. One that isn’t even all that comfortable because the cowl makes him hot and itchy and it keeps dropping down whenever Derek makes sudden movements. 

It certainly wasn’t on his head when he saw the cute stranger. Not that it should matter what Derek looked like during that brief encounter. Because he’s still waiting for Stiles. 

Who still isn’t here. 

So Derek looks like a total idiot for no reason. But it’s Stiles, so he’s not going to leave until he hears from him - he owes him that much, and he trusts that Stiles has a very good reason for being late. In fact, it’s probably something work related, or something serious that is keeping him from being where he wants to be. 

Stiles has made it very, very obvious that this is where he wants to be - because Derek is here. 

“Still no future husband?” Erica takes advantage of a bit of a lull to talk to him. 

“I’m a bit worried,” Derek admits, only slightly embarrassed. “He hasn’t messaged me either, which means that something’s definitely come up. It’s not good. It can’t be good.” 

Sure, Stiles is a werewolf, which means that the odds that he is actually injured are much lower than they would be if he’d been a human - but it doesn’t mean that the odds are low enough for Derek to rule it out. Even New York City has hunters, as every city does, and Stiles would be the person who semi-accidentally insulted someone who turned out to be a hunter. 

Though for now, Derek is just going with the work angle. 

“Okay,” Erica is being kind and reassuring - and a true friend. “What’s your name?” 

How is it that this stranger has already decided that she’s going to help Derek through this weird situation? Or, weird as fuck, as Stiles would say. Because Derek knows Stiles so very well that he knows what Stiles would say in almost any situation - he’s been imagining their first meeting for so long that he’s pretty sure he could write down exactly what Stiles is going to say when he first lays eyes on Derek. When Stiles finally sees him and recognizes him. 

What he wants to find out about is the look on Stiles’ face in that very moment. 

“Derek,” he says to Erica, embarrassed that he didn’t introduce himself before. 

“Well, Derek,” Erica motions for him to sit down behind the desk with her. “How about you keep me from getting too bored for a little while, while we wait for your sexy fiance. I’m assuming he’s sexy, because anyone who’d marry you would have to be.” 

It’s better, sitting down outside of the crowd of people that is constantly increasing in size as people start to head into the bowels of the con for the first panels and gatherings of the day. It’s easier, not constantly staring at every person he sees in the hope that they’re actually the person he’s been waiting for. He could use a distraction right about now, and let himself trust that Stiles is going to find him regardless. Because it’s Stiles. 

“I don’t actually know,” Derek reluctantly admits. 

“Internet courtship,” Erica’s eyes are shining with glee, but not any kind of malice. “I love that for you. Tell me everything. Absolutely everything. Is he the reason behind your weird Batman hoodie? Because I’m into that. My Catwoman costume is not coming out until Saturday, but I’m always happy to talk about comics. Just ask my Boyd.” 

Derek is choosing not to ask her Boyd, because he seems to be occupied with a kerfuffle involving a couple of cosplayers whose argument is getting increasingly loud. Boyd will probably step in before it gets violent, but Derek doesn’t envy him the job, even though Boyd is probably a werewolf as well. Still, there’s a reason why Derek is a translator and hasn’t taken Laura up on her offer to join her at the NYPD. He’d rather work from home, in a comfortable office. 

Without all these crowds of strangers he isn’t sure he can trust. The con is worth it, though, for some of the interesting panels, and because of Stiles. Definitely because of Stiles. 

“It’s all his fault,” Derek is almost smiling when he says it. “The idiot thinks he’s Batman.” 

And he’s using the word ‘idiot’ in the most loving way, of course. It’s basically a pet name for Stiles at this point. Because Stiles just does things, without thinking them through, and he says things without thinking all the damn time. He’s impulsive but also incredibly thorough in his research and meta, and Derek can’t help but appreciate that contradiction. Because Stiles is made up of so many of these contradictions, and Derek just wants to see all of them in real life, in real time. So he can tell Stiles to shut up in person. 

Or shut him up with a kiss, if Stiles is up for that. He’s indicated that he would be. 

“But he’s more of a Robin?” Erica asks. 

“With Deadpool’s motor mouth,” Derek adds, just happy to have someone he can talk about Stiles with. “He does not stop talking. Ever. And he’s a damn smartass.” 

It’s not like Derek ever wants him to stop talking. He likes waking up to anywhere from twelve to thirty-nine messages because Stiles was awake in the middle of the night again and had a couple of thoughts that he just had to share with Derek. And for Stiles, a couple of thoughts cannot be summarized in just a couple of messages - especially not with the asides he always manages to throw in because he gets sidetracked a lot. One of these days, Derek is going to figure out Stiles’ thought process. It’s a tough job, but he wants to know. 

Because it’s Stiles. And Stiles is everything. 

“That’s love, bitch,” Erica nods sagely. 

Derek rolls his eyes. She’ll probably get along far too well with Laura. They must never meet. 

But at least it’s a nice distraction from Stiles’ continued absence.

And then his phone buzzes. Again and again and again and again. 

“That’s your boy, I assume?” Erica is grinning at him yet again. 

“Who else would send me this many messages?” Derek is reluctantly smiling as well. 

It is endearing after all. And it seems like Stiles hasn’t completely forgotten about him. 


Under the light of the full moon

50.1M views - 6 October 2017

NotYourAverageTeenWolf - 753K subscribers

My first full moon as a werewolf: the aftermath. No deer were harmed in the making of this video. I promise. On my honor as a werewolf. 

TRANSCRIPT

[...]

I don’t really have the words to explain how different everything feels now, but the full moon last night certainly amped that up to eleven. Yes, it goes up to eleven. Woo, Spinal Tap.

All fun references aside - and believe me I have many - this was really fucking weird. Like, it’s like there was this fishhook pushed into my heart and the other end was tied to the full moon. Like there is this connection that cannot be broken. 

And I was so angry, the whole time. I’m so glad I found a safe place to hide until it was over, because if I’d been near anyone I hated, I would have hurt them. Probably. If they were keeping me from going outside and howling at the moon. 

My howl is kind of pathetic though. I have to work on that at some point. 

Still, no harm done. And now I know what to expect next time. 


I am the worst fiancé in the world: I’m so sorry

I am the worst fiancé in the world: I know I said I’d be there

I am the worst fiancé in the world: And I wanted to be there

I am the worst fiancé in the world: More than anything in the world

I am the worst fiancé in the world: But remember what I said about the balancing act

I am the worst fiancé in the world: Well, the high wire is thinner than I thought

I am the worst fiancé in the world: And I suck at walking on a wire

I am the worst fiancé in the world: They double booked me

I am the worst fiancé in the world: Some sort of contest winner stuff

I am the worst fiancé in the world: And they didn’t tell me until it was already too late

I am the worst fiancé in the world: And I didn’t have time to talk to you until now

I am the worst fiancé in the world: I really hope you’re not still waiting for me

I am the worst fiancé in the world: Because that would suck

I am the worst fiancé in the world: Shit

I am the worst fiancé in the world: I’m so sorry

I am the worst fiancé in the world: Derek

I am the worst fiancé in the world: You have no idea how badly I want to be with you

I am the worst fiancé in the world: Right now

I am the worst fiancé in the world: Or any time

I am the worst fiancé in the world: And now I won’t see you until the ball

I am the worst fiancé in the world: On Saturday

I am the worst fiancé in the world: That’s not until tomorrow night

I am the worst fiancé in the world: That’s too many hours, Der-Bear

I am the worst fiancé in the world: At least 30. 

I am the worst fiancé in the world: More than that - 32?

I am the worst fiancé in the world: I. Am. Cry. 

Derek: It’s okay 

I am the worst fiancé in the world: No it’s not

I am the worst fiancé in the world: You know how I know?

Derek: How

I am the worst fiancé in the world: Because you’re not using punctuation

I am the worst fiancé in the world: I know you’re upset

I am the worst fiancé in the world: Anything I can do to make it up to you?

I am the worst fiancé in the world: Anything at all?

I am the worst fiancé in the world: I’ll do it

I am the worst fiancé in the world: You know I will

Derek: I know you will 

I am the worst fiancé in the world: Now, what do you want?

I am the worst fiancé in the world: Anything

I am the worst fiancé in the world: You can hold me to that

I am the worst fiancé in the world: I’d offer sex if that didn’t make me feel like a prostitute

I am the worst fiancé in the world: Because I’d have sex with you without any kind of favors

I am the worst fiancé in the world: Unless you want us to have a sexless marriage

I am the worst fiancé in the world: Anything you want

Derek: Just stop, Stiles

I am the worst fiancé in the world: Still no punctuation

Derek: Let’s table the sex discussion until after we’ve met. 

Derek: I’m not ruling it out. 

I am the worst fiancé in the world: Oh God

I am the worst fiancé in the world: I think I’m dying

Derek: Stiles. 

I am the worst fiancé in the world: Sorry

I am the worst fiancé in the world: I just

I am the worst fiancé in the world: I can’t with you

I am the worst fiancé in the world: You do know how awesome you are, right?

Derek: You tell me all the time. 

I am the worst fiancé in the world: Like any decent fiance should. 

Derek: I’ll add it to the list.

I am the worst fiancé in the world: Do you really have a list?

I am the worst fiancé in the world: Der?

I am the worst fiancé in the world: Der-Bear?

I am the worst fiancé in the world: Babe?

Derek: Reflex?

I am the worst fiancé in the world: Nope

I am the worst fiancé in the world: Just trying to see which one you’d like best

Derek: Jesus Christ

I am the worst fiancé in the world: Tell me when I see you. 

I am the worst fiancé in the world: Promise me

Derek: You’re an idiot. 

I am the worst fiancé in the world: Great

I am the worst fiancé in the world: That’s usually a yes

Getting married in the morning/evening: See you tomorrow

Derek: See you tomorrow. 


Even though he’d rather be with Stiles, the con hasn’t been too bad so far. 

Erica entertained him for a while longer, and then she snuck him into a panel that he otherwise would have missed because the line was too ridiculously long. Derek could have been waiting in line if he hadn’t been waiting for Stiles, and Erica is trying to make sure that Derek doesn’t waste the whole weekend waiting around for Stiles to finally show up. 

That first panel was interesting, and Derek had some good seats, so he’s sticking around for the next thing, even though he’s not all that into YouTube content. It’s just that if he sticks around, he keeps these seats for the next panel, which is the one he’s really interested in - about the use of non-English languages in science fiction, anything from Elvish to Dothraki to that not quite English invented for a CW show that Laura’s mentioned before. Even though she hasn’t actually seen any of it other than Tumblr gifs of the lead actor. 

According to Laura, that’s all she needs to know. 

“Alright, I hope you’re ready,” the overly excited moderator tries to hype up the crowd. 

It works on most of the people present, especially the teens and some of the college crowd - Derek is less than impressed. Maybe that’s because he’s suddenly found himself surrounded by people in what is definitely supposed to be werewolf cosplay. 

Surprisingly accurate werewolf cosplay. Or, at least, compared to some of the other werewolf cosplay he’s seen at the con, or heard about before. From Stiles, who finds that sort of this endlessly hilarious. Stiles, who will love Derek’s stories about this, after Derek figures out what the hell kind of show or movie - or YouTube thing, apparently - has mostly realistic werewolves. 

All that on a YouTube budget? Something’s definitely up with that. 

“Let’s welcome our first guest,” the moderator has apparently decided that the crowd is excited enough to proceed. “The YouTuber who single-handedly dragged the supernatural vlogging genre into existence with his ‘So I got turned into a werewolf’ video back in 2017. Ladies and gentlemen and people of any gender, the one, the only, NotYourAverageTeenWolf!” 

The crowd goes wild. And no, for once Derek isn’t being sarcastic. The relatively small conference hall - this isn’t San Diego Comic Con, after all - is apparently completely filled with people who are here just to see this random YouTube creator. 

Not that Derek is the asshole dismissing independent artists, but this is just… A lot. 

“Hi guys,” the creator in question shows up, and Derek gapes at him. 

Apparently the cute stranger who’d tried to hit on him is some kind of a YouTube celebrity, a vlogger. Because of course that’s a thing that actually happened to Derek - and something that Stiles is probably going to laugh about when he finds out. And then he’ll probably crack some joke about defending Derek’s honor. Because that’s what a good fiance would do. 

“O.M.G., I totally relate,” the girl next to him says. “Mischief is so cute.” 

Mischief? That is the name that Erica used as well, when this guy first showed up. But there’s no way that’s an actual name - even though it isn’t his screen name or handle or whatever that stuff is called. Derek isn’t really a social media kind of person. 

Stiles continues to be his only exception. 

“Mischief?” Derek just repeats it, dumbly. 

“You don’t know him?” The girl next to him just about loses it. “Elle, he doesn’t know Mischief.” 

Oh dear, maybe Derek isn’t in a good seat after all, not if the girl continues to flail about and squeal to her friend at absolutely everything this guy does. He’s barely even said anything, and yet all of these people are just so thrilled to see him. 

He wonders what that might be like, to have people being happy to see him. 

Too dark? Probably. Not wrong, though. 

“Alright, so here’s the primer,” the girl he thinks is named Elle shushes her friends and quickly starts to give him the basics. “In fall of 2017, this absolute idiot we now know as Mischief posted a video when he supposedly got turned into a werewolf. The vlog caught the attention of some CW actors, who introduced it to the greater public. And people lost their shit, because his makeup skills are so good. The claws look so real! And he’s funny - like, so quick-witted.” 

Again with the CW actors - Derek is starting to sense a theme here. It’s telling though, that these girls don’t even remember the actors’ names. Are they that forgettable? 

Still, Derek is starting to get a feeling that there’s something not quite right about this story - because makeup skills? On a low-budget YouTube vlog? It’s more likely that this person is an idiot who’s pretending to be faking it, when he’s actually a real werewolf. Revealing himself to the public in the context of a crappy YouTube thing. 

It’s clever, because he appears to be sticking with the whole plausible deniability, while also providing factual information and humanizing werewolves. Even if people think it’s fake, if there does end up being a reveal - which wouldn’t surprise Derek, seeing as they live in the age of camera phones and constant surveillance - that the people might have a different voice to the constant werewolf-related violence in the media. 

Derek is a little worried that hunters will find this guy because he’s made himself so very obvious - but that is probably why he goes by an alias. And his popularity is definitely helping him, because hunters would never go after someone so obviously in the public eye. 

“Sshh, it’s starting,” the girl next to Derek hisses, even though no one is talking. 

“Hi everyone,” Mischief has to pause for the screaming that ensues. “I’m so happy to be here with you today. I know it’s early for some of you, so I really appreciate it. I don’t have a lot of news to tell you yet, I know I said I would. After this weekend though… Keep an eye out for my Comic Con video because I will either be ecstatic or heartbroken.” 

That inspires yet another round of screaming, like that means something to the many people in werewolf cosplay surrounding Derek. To Derek, it’s just this guy using a lot of words when he isn’t actually saying something - and yes, that very much reminds him of Stiles, like just about everything does right now. Because he’s got Stiles on the brain, and will continue to have Stiles on the brain for the foreseeable future - until they meet, and possibly even after that. 

“Oh my God is he finally making a move?” The excited girl is bouncing in her seat. 

“Annie, deep breaths,” Elle’s grin is fond yet mocking. “Dude, I apologize for my sister being such a mess at you. I know she’s a lot. It’s just that this is her OTP. I didn’t explain this before: Mischief has a friend he’s been in love with for ages. He’s never mentioned a name - because there’s always a risk the friend will see it - but it’s so romantic.” 

Ah yes, the infamous OTP. While Derek is usually more interested in character meta than in ships, there have been a few relationships that he’s gotten a little consumed with - especially queer relationships that actually get a nuanced portrayal. Sadly, those still appear to be few and far between in the content that he’s interested in, which tends to make him all the more passionate about the potential that is there, but is wasted because of network pressure or fake progressive baiting of the audience. He has a lot of thoughts about that - has written meta too. 

Though sometimes beautiful things can happen in subtext, even though writers are actually not allowed to be explicit about the romance in any way. Don’t get him started on that, though. 

“I understand,” Derek says, because he does. “I’m meeting the love of my life tomorrow.” 

Stiles is not going to bail on him a second time - Derek strongly believes that. Stiles believes it as well, as he’s been sending reminders roughly every hour just to keep up with his whole countdown gimmick. Derek really hopes that he gets some sleep at night instead of sending Derek messages every hour on the dot. A Stiles who is sleep-deprived is a lot to deal with online, let alone in person. No one can handle him that way, not even Derek. 

Though he’d be willing - and happy - to learn. 

“That’s so romantic,” Annie is almost swooning.

“Goals,” Elle mutters at Derek, and then turns back to check out the panel. 

Derek follows suit, because he can at least stare at an attractive distraction while he waits for the panel he’s actually interested in. And thinks about Stiles some more. 


I am old and wise, so suck on that

26.2M views - 13 May 2018

NotYourAverageTeenWolf - 753K subscribers

I have books, and I have research. And some of it sounds pretty much on par with what I’ve already experienced. And some of it? Super out there. Not in the Mulder kind of way. 

TRANSCRIPT: 

[...]

Apparently some werewolves can actually turn into real-life wolves. That’s what the book says, anyway, but I firmly believe that it’s bullshit. Because that sort of thing only happens in crappy Twilight fanfiction. Of which I’ve read a lot by now, thanks for the recs, people. 

Seriously, clearly Stephenie Meyer knows nothing about actual werewolves - because I certainly haven’t imprinted on a fucking baby yet. So why am I still reading? 

Probably because the fanfic makes more sense than the books. Team Leah all the way. 

So yeah, the whole turning into a wolf thing? No way that’s real. No. Fucking. Way. 

Oh God, if he ever finds these he’s totally going to kill me for that one. I’m sorry love of my life, even though I totally mean it and I don’t believe that’s actually a thing that anyone can do. Or that you can actually do it. You’re just going to have to prove it to me. 

In person. 

So get on that already, will you? 


Why does life hate me: less than 24 hours to go

Derek: A bit overdramatic, don’t you think?

Why does life hate me: No

Why does life hate me: I could be with you right now

Why does life hate me: I am not

Why does life hate me: Therefore life hates me

Derek: Sound reasoning. 

Why does life hate me: Thanks

Derek: That was sarcasm. 

Why does life hate me: I know

Why does life hate me: It’s you

Why does life hate me: It’s always sarcasm

Why does life hate me: Just one of the many things I love about you

Why does life hate me: Too much? 

Derek: Tell me again after you’ve seen me

Why does life hate me: Do you not want to meet me?

Why does life hate me: Is that it?

Why does life hate me: Are you that worried?

Derek: I’m probably not what you expect. 

Why does life hate me: Perpetually grumpy

Why does life hate me: murder brows – according to Laura

Why does life hate me: sarcastic AF

Why does life hate me: can keep up with me verbally

Why does life hate me: (which is saying a lot tbh)

Why does life hate me: Strong as hell

Why does life hate me: Claws and fangs

Why does life hate me: (though maybe not in public, idk)

Why does life hate me: Am I wrong? 

Derek: What do you think I look like? 

Why does life hate me: Why does it matter? 

Why does life hate me: Is it because you’re super hot?

Why does life hate me: Because I’ve already figured that out

Derek: I am not that. 

Why does life hate me: Liar

Why does life hate me: Liar

Why does life hate me: Tight jeans on fire

Why does life hate me: Because you wear tight jeans

Why does life hate me: You’ve complained about them before

Why does life hate me: But you don’t stop wearing them

Why does life hate me: So clearly they accentuate your great ass

Why does life hate me: Or your thick thighs

Why does life hate me: Or both

Why does life hate me: Someone help me I will choke on my drool 

Derek: Stiles. 

I have the hottest husband: Yes, dear?

Derek: I was going to thank you. 

Derek: Not anymore. 

I have the hottest husband: Why?

I have the hottest husband: Am I lying? 

Derek: Yes. 

I have the hottest husband: Tell me who has the hottest husband, then

I have the hottest husband: If it’s not me

Derek: It’s me. 

I have the hottest husband: Dude

I have the hottest husband: DUDE

I have the hottest husband: DUUUUUUDE

I have the hottest husband: That was so smooth

I have the hottest husband: Applause

I have the hottest husband: Also, you’re full of it

I have the hottest husband: No way I’m the hot one

Derek: You are. 

I have the hottest husband: How do you know? 

Derek: Because you’re you. 

I have the hottest husband: You’re such a romantic

I have the hottest husband: I’m so lucky

I have the hottest husband: How did I get so lucky?

Derek: Shut up and you might get lucky. 

Derek: Tomorrow. 

Derek: Stiles? 

Has died and gone to heaven: Yes dear. 

Derek: I’ve changed my mind. 

Has died and gone to heaven: Too late now

Has died and gone to heaven: You’re stuck with me

Derek: Darn. 

Has died and gone to heaven: You know you love me

Derek: I guess. 

Has died and gone to heaven: Derek!


On Saturday, Derek finds himself even more antsy for time to just pass already. 

In the afternoon, when there’s just a handful of hours left before he finally gets to see Stiles, he is downright antsy, which is definitely not a good look on him. He’s never fidgeted quite this much before, and whenever he is in line for a panel, he feels like pacing except he doesn’t have the room - or he’ll lose his place in line. He manages to mostly come across as normal to the people in line with him, but it takes a lot of effort. 

Why can’t he just see Stiles now

That’s when he finds himself on the floor where the vendors are, and some of the not quite big names are giving out autographs for a not completely ridiculous fee. He roams some of the stalls and buys a couple of trinkets from people who don’t look like they’ve seen a lot of business today. And then he finds himself near a table with a very familiar person. 

Mischief, the infamous werewolf YouTube… person. 

“Hello,” Derek reluctantly goes up to him. 

“Well hello there,” the man named Mischief actually winks at him. “If it isn’t the most attractive person I’ve ever had the privilege of bumping into. And that’s really saying something - I bump into a lot of people. ADHD is a mixed blessing, if you will.” 

Derek has heard something along those lines before, from Stiles. High school had been a particularly tricky time for him, and being a werewolf doesn’t exactly change anything about it - because it’s not something to be healed or cured. It takes a while to deal with the readjustment, according to Stiles, but it’s totally doable - especially if this guy has been a wolf for a while. 

Which according to the internet, he has. Or, well, according to the sisters he met at the panel. 

“Or so I’ve heard,” Derek finally says, because Mischief is waiting for him to say something. 

“So, are you here for me?” Mischief’s ego is already getting out of hand. 

Though, Derek doubts it’s ego - it seems more like Mischief is impatient and a little bit bored with the simpering girls staring at him from a distance, not even daring to approach. It’s understandable - Derek remembers sneaking into concerts with Laura and just being star struck by the singers pouring their emotion out onto the stage. Laura dared to approach, to chat and maybe ask for an autograph - and she went back to a hotel room once or twice. Derek just stared, awkward and nervous and always feeling out of place. 

He’s learned to manage it a bit better, and he’s not starstruck by this guy at all. In fact, it’s nice to be around someone who reminds him a lot of Stiles, but without the pressure of this actually being his future husband. There’s no need to be perfect, to live up to the amazing person Stiles somehow seems to think he is. This is just banter, and nothing more. 

It’s good to remind this guy of that, though. 

“I’m here because I’m waiting for my future husband,” Derek is not subtle about the rebuff. 

“So you are here for me,” Mischief teases, barely even backing off. 

Still, it reads as nothing more than a joke, a flirtation that is not meant to be taken seriously at all. It reads as if Mischief has not only gotten the message, but as if he’d never meant it to be anything more than a joke. Which is just fine by Derek - Mischief may remind him of Stiles, but he’s no Stiles. His spark - and yes, Derek cannot believe he’s actually using that word - is not as bright as Stiles’ is, even from the other side of the country, only communicating through typed phrases. He knows everything about Stiles, except he knows nothing. 

And so he only likes this Mischief because he’s a version of Stiles who is physically here. 

Soon, though. Soon Stiles will be here instead. 

“I have a particular person in mind,” Derek is a little amused, because he knows it doesn’t really mean anything. “I didn’t just wake up with a craving, as the people say.” 

It’s a terrible joke, but one that Stiles has made before - because Stiles loves the silliness inherent in Doctor Who, like he loves any kind of silliness. Because the best stories are when people change the world for the better, even though it hurts sometimes. 

“I like you almost as much as I do the love of my life,” Mischief’s heart isn’t in it either. 

“That’s quite the compliment,” Derek nods, still charmed by this idiot. “Are they here?” 

Maybe it’s because he’s only hours away from finally meeting Stiles in real life, but Derek hopes these crazy kids make it too. At this point he is just rooting for everyone to get their shot with the person they love, and it maybe makes him a bit more sappy than people usually think he is. His murder brows, as Laura lovingly calls them, probably aren’t nearly as severe when he’s made up of about 87 percent anticipation and 13% happiness. There’s no room for anger. 

Just under four and a half hours until he gets to see Stiles. Finally. 

“Yes, he is,” Mischief just lights up, and Derek is stunned. 

Because oh. Wow. This guy is… Wow. 

Sure, he’s been stupidly attractive the whole time, but his entire being just lights up as he talks about the man he loves. Is that what Derek’s Stiles face looks like too? And what his Stiles voice sounds like? Because if so, he really does not understand what Laura has been complaining about all this time. This is beautiful to watch, this is true love. 

And still Derek just thinks of Stiles, and hopes. He hopes to see this look on Stiles’ face too. 

“Do you think they’ll ever get around to asking?” Mischief motions at the girls. 

“Maybe, if you don’t look at them too much and give them a heart attack,” Derek rolls his eyes. 

If Annie and Elle find out he’s casually chatting with their hero about the love of his life, they will hound him at the ball all night. He’s run into them at least two times today, and they’ve treated him like the fun uncle Derek wishes he had - Peter wasn’t very fun at the end there. Derek smiles and keeps at a distance because he knows what he looks like, and he knows how easy it is to get excited about attention from someone older. 

Still, if they find him when he’s with Stiles later, he’ll introduce them. They’ll like that. 

“I make no promises,” Mischief laughs, and the girls titter from a distance. 

“I’m Derek,” he figures that he can at least tell the guy his name, even though nothing is going to come of his faux-flirtatious overtures. “Just in case you need to tell the love of your life that he’s got nothing to worry about from me. And I’ll tell my future husband the same.” 

Stiles will definitely get a kick out of this whole conversation, because it gives him evidence for his ‘Derek is the hottest husband’ argument. At some point Derek is going to find all of the evidence he needs for his counterargument, the one that clearly states that Stiles is actually the hotter one, but that will probably have to wait until after he meets Stiles. 

In about four hours. Time does fly. 

“Can we get your autograph?” The teenage girls have finally mustered up the courage to speak. 

Mischief seems startled out of some serious thoughts by their appearance, which doesn’t stop surprising Derek. This guy is a werewolf too, he should have sensed their approach. But he also knows that zoning out is still possible for werewolves. Because of Stiles - because his future husband has this thing where he ‘has all the thoughts’. 

“Wait, Derek,” Mischief tries to continue their conversation. 

“I have to go anyway,” Derek finds himself smiling at him. “I have to get ready for my date.” 

Sure, it’s still hours away, but he wants to get home and shower and change. He can have dinner with Laura and Travis - because he already knows that Laura will have all the opinions about Derek’s costume for the party. She always does. 


Lone wolf? Not quite

16.9M views - 24 December 2018

NotYourAverageTeenWolf - 753K subscribers

Some info on relationships and pack structure from your resident Omega. Which still has nothing to do with your knotting porn. Please stop. 

TRANSCRIPT: 

Wolves are supposed to have a pack. Werewolves aren’t all that different. 

For most wolves, this means other werewolves. For me? It means my friends, most of them stupidly human and all the more wonderful for it. My closest friends know about the claws and the fangs and they don’t judge me for it. 

My best friend makes a lot of stupid dog jokes, though. I’d probably do the same if the roles were reversed. Though he’d make a pretty awful teen wolf. 

There is one person though, one wolf, who’s been the light of my life for a while now. He’s been incredibly selfless about sending me reading materials about anything lycanthropy. But then again, he’s been doing that since before I was a wolf. Because that’s fandom, baby. 

Any gossip you hear me share about born wolves? All him. Any tales you hear me tell about hunters and the dangers associated with them? Personal experience. It has not been easy for him - which is just one of the many reasons that I don’t give out anyone’s personal details on this channel. We werewolves have got to stick together. 

Is that enough of an early birthday present, doofus? 

Anyway, so, pack. My friends and family. And of course there’s all of you. My online pack. 

[...]


Has died and gone to heaven: Are you there yet?

Has died and gone to heaven: Der?

Has died and gone to heaven: Babe?

Derek: I’m running late. 

Derek: Laura wanted to dress me. 

Derek: I barely managed to escape with my life. 

Has died and gone to heaven: Aww, but I wanted to see what she’d do

Derek: You’ll find out eventually. 

Has died and gone to heaven: Promise?

Derek: I promise. 

Has died and gone to heaven: Good

Has died and gone to heaven: Are you there yet?

Derek: Stiles.

Has died and gone to heaven: What?

Derek: It’s been barely two minutes. 

Has died and gone to heaven: So?

Derek: I’m at the convention center. 

Derek: On my way to the ballroom. 

Has died and gone to heaven: I think this is what butterflies feel like

Derek: You’re an idiot.

Has died and gone to heaven: That means I’m not the only one

Derek: Maybe

Has died and gone to heaven: All that and no punctuation

Has died and gone to heaven: Hey Derek?

Derek: Stiles?

Has died and gone to heaven: What are you wearing?

Derek: No sexting until after we’re married. 

Has died and gone to heaven: I’m holding you to that. 

Derek: I knew you would. 

Has died and gone to heaven: But seriously

Has died and gone to heaven: What are you wearing?

Has died and gone to heaven: I won’t recognize you otherwise. 

Derek: I will be wearing the thing. 

Has died and gone to heaven: The thing?

Has died and gone to heaven: Oh, the thing. 

Has died and gone to heaven: You’re such a romantic. 

Derek: No, I’m not. 

Has died and gone to heaven: Yes you are

Has died and gone to heaven: I’ll wait for you to come in

Has died and gone to heaven: I think I see you

Has died and gone to heaven: I was right. 

Has died and gone to heaven: You are super hot

Has died and gone to heaven: And I mean… DAMN

Derek: Where are you? 

Has died and gone to heaven: Sniff me out yourself

Derek: Stiles. 

Has died and gone to heaven: Come on, I know you’ll figure it out

Derek: Figure what out? 

Has died and gone to heaven: Where we’ve met before

Derek: We’ve met before? 

Has died and gone to heaven: Come find me

Has died and gone to heaven: I’m waiting for you

Has died and gone to heaven: Waiting for my husband

Derek: Look up. 


No, Derek isn’t dressed like Batman as he meets his future husband for the first time - Stiles wishes, probably. Instead he’s dressed up in a suit, and wearing glasses. He hasn’t shaved, because he wants to meet Stiles looking like himself instead of like a fictional character, but the rest of him? Would definitely qualify as an excellent Clark Kent cosplay. 

Just as Stiles has requested - many times, actually. Mostly as a joke, but Derek has decided to take the opportunity this time. How many cons will they attend like this, after all? 

So Derek humors him, even deciding to wear a Superman shirt underneath his button-up shirt in case Stiles decides to check for verisimilitude. He knows Stiles far too well for him not to expect some shenanigans like that. Stiles is all about the pranks and the shenanigans, after all. 

Never shall it be said that Derek isn’t ready for those. 

He takes another deep breath and tries to focus on his senses, trying to figure out how many other werewolves are currently in the room. Erica is there, wearing the Catwoman outfit she’d told Derek she’d be wearing, while Boyd is dressed as her Batman. Stiles has to see that, because Boyd is an incredible Batman, and Derek is pretty sure that Stiles will gladly give up his throne. He’s also pretty sure that Stiles is nowhere near Erica and Boyd, sadly. 

Erica grins at Derek and mouths ‘good luck’ at him. She’s rooting for him, like she has been the whole time. Over thirty hours now. A lengthy friendship, to be sure. 

Another breath and his senses lead him to the edge of the dancefloor, to where a slightly familiar figure is trying their best to do the sprinkler while wearing a ridiculous fairytale prince get-up. Derek doesn’t even wait to confirm that this man is a werewolf before he reaches for him - because of course this is Stiles. His Stiles. 

Only Stiles would have moves like that. 

Except when Stiles turns around...

“You figured it out,” Mischief - Stiles - grins at him so very proudly. 

Stiles is Mischief is the cute stranger is Stiles. All of those people are Stiles, his Stiles, his friend and future husband and… mate? It’s an old legend, of a rare connection between werewolves, something that Derek has given up on long ago, because it was always going to be Stiles for him, mates or not. But mates it is. And Stiles it is. Because of course he is, and they are. 

“Why am I not surprised?” Derek shakes his head, trying to hide his smile. 

“You know me far too well,” Stiles announces proudly. “All of me.” 

He motions to his body, clad in the ridiculous garments that have Derek thinking of Prince Charming, rather than of the comic book hero he’d been expecting. He’s sure that Stiles mentioned something about heroes and comic books when they very briefly discussed costumes - after he decided that maybe Lois Lane was a bit too much for him. Not the cross-dressing, but living up to some of the legends who’ve portrayed her. 

This, though? This is not like anything Derek would have guessed. 

“I didn’t know Bruce Wayne dressed like a medieval himbo,” Derek just has to get that dig in, because this is definitely not the outfit Stiles said he’d be wearing. “And wore such a deep v.” 

It’s distracting, looking at the ridiculous neckline on the shirt, worn as if Stiles has managed to tear it open with his werewolf strength - just as Derek would do to his shirt to reveal the Superman logo underneath. So is that the joke, then? 

“Don’t you know, Der,” Stiles is smiling at him and Derek can’t look away. “I’m your prince Charming. And I’ve been in Agony waiting to meet you.” 

The smile is even better now that Derek knows that it is about him - and has been the whole time. Because Stiles is the idiot werewolf YouTuber with thousands of teenage fans who look up to him and think he’s an incredible makeup artist with excellent script-writing skills. The idiot who gets himself in trouble all the damn time is an idol to impressionable young ones. 

Laura is never going to stop laughing about this. 

“Does this mean that I have a midnight curfew?” Derek has lived in New York for at least a decade - he knows his musical theater. “Is Clark Kent now Cinderella?” 

Will his Metrocard turn into a pumpkin? Or his Uber? Is that where this is going? 

Still, the idea of Stiles dressing up like the most extra, most ridiculous version of Prince Charming is appealing to him. Because Stiles is over the top and dramatic and funny and all of the things that Derek already knew he was. But now he’s also completely gorgeous - even though he’s looked like that the whole time, Derek didn’t know back then - and Derek wants to put his mouth on every inch of exposed skin and then expose some more. 

Jesus, Stiles

“No curfew unless you’re taking me home with you,” Stiles tells him, staring heatedly. 

“You do realize that we haven’t even introduced ourselves,” Derek pointedly remarks, trying to stop them both from climbing each other in public. “I’m Derek. Derek Hale. And you are?” 

Stiles laughs in his face, because he is that asshole. Still, Derek delights in seeing how it changes his face, those ridiculous beta gold eyes shining with mirth as Stiles completely ignores the hand Derek is offering him, instead pulling Derek in close until they’re pressed together, swaying to the music that probably demands some more modern movements. 

“Mieczyslaw Stilinski,” Stiles whispers in Derek’s ear, and his eyes widen just slightly at the words and at the sensation. “But you can just call me Stiles. Please just call me Stiles. No one calls me Mieczyslaw anymore. Not even my Dad.” 

Strangely, Derek feels like he’s actually heard that name before. He knows he’s supposed to say something about how difficult to pronounce it is (when it really isn’t all that bad), or about how foreign it sounds (Polish, he thinks) - but instead all he can think about is his childhood running around in the Preserve near Beacon Hills, in California. There was a boy there, a boy that went by a nickname, since he couldn’t say his own name. A boy named… 

“Mischief,” Derek says out loud, because he gets it now. “Claudia’s son.” 

The look on Stiles’ face tells him that he’s right about that. 

“Derek Hale ,” Stiles responds, laughing at himself. “Talia’s son.” 

So their mothers had been friends once, in a small town - the same small town that Stiles probably still lived in. Which means that… when Laura and Derek went back to deal with Uncle Peter, Stiles must have been there. Maybe Peter even was the one to turn Stiles. 

Their lives have been intertwined for so long - why did they only meet now? Properly, anyway. 

“We were always going to meet,” Stiles holds Derek close, ever the romantic. 

They’ll deal with the rest later, finish taking each other in and avoid Laura’s prying questions and discuss Stiles’ career. They’ll talk about Beacon Hills and their pasts (fill in the blanks, because they know so much already). They’ll kiss and explore and discuss moving in together and think about getting married and perhaps even live happily ever after. 

Isn’t that just what Prince Charming deserves? 

“Come home with me,” Derek asks and orders all at once. 

Stiles is dragging him to the exit before Derek can even finish his sentence. 


The biggest of news - the very biggest

422 views - 27 July 2020

NotYourAverageTeenWolf - 811K subscribers

No, I will not tell you if it’s good news or not. You’re going to have to watch the video like the rest of us. You. Them. Us? I’ve seen it before, of course. When I decided not to do very much editing - for which you’ll definitely thank me. Trust me. 

TRANSCRIPT

Hello strangers on the internet - and the non-strangers who’ve been hitting on me through YouTube comments for almost three years now. Welcome to my big news video! 

As you may know, I went to New York Comic Con this weekend. I know, I’ve only been repeating it non-stop for the past three months, but bear with me. You can find the links to my full panels and stuff down below - because that’s not what you’re here for. 

I loved meeting all of you. Thanks for the gifts, thanks for sharing your stories, and thanks for the makeup tips. I’m always trying for perfect eyeliner. 

Anyway, my big news: I’m moving. Next time you’ll see me, I’ll be posting from… Well, the same place I’m posting this from now. Maybe I’ll do a goodbye vid for the old apartment, but that depends on how distracted I get. Because I now have a massive distraction in my life. 

The love of my life is officially letting me move in with him. Aren’t I the luckiest? 

Oh, and did I mention I’m now officially a part of a werewolf pack? And my Alpha is the fiercest tiny badass I know. And the nosiest one, will you stop trying to get on camera?

Sorry about that. Anyway… My friends, I have so much to tell you

[...]

THE END