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Bare Minimum

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"Why do we need to go back?" Stiles complained. "It's not that important, aren't you, like, super rich or something? It's not like you can't afford a new phone."


Derek glowered, abruptly brought the camaro to a stop in the parking lot near the beach. 


"It's not the phone, it's what's in the phone case." Derek told him for what seemed like approximately ten times, before quickly getting out of the car.

"Who puts their important documents in their phone case? How about a vault? I happen to know your family owns a big one." Stiles rolled his eyes, as he followed him. "Do you need me for this? Can't you go by yourself?"

"Remind me again who was the one getting caught with a merman in rut, who needed rescuing?" Derek had the audacity to look annoyed.

"Hahaha." Stiles said humorlessly. "Mermen love me, what can I say? I bet you wouldn't have thought this tiny piece of Stilinski ass would look so yummy for the people of the seven seas. I have to admit I was a little surprised too."


As soon as he had realized that the strange happenings were caused by mermen coming to shore, he only had in mind to come and see them. It wasn't everyday that someone had the opportunity to see a merman. Stiles couldn't miss the chance of a lifetime. How was he supposed to imagine that he, Stiles Stilinski, was in fact a perfect merman bait?


"Stop talking."

"I talk to cope with the fact that I am in fact irresistible. Just let me cope, Derek! - Wait, wait!" Stiles grabbed Derek by the arm to pull him back. "What the fucking fuck is this?!" He gestured at the sign nailed at the wooden post to the side. 


Bare Minimum Beach.


"Oh... alright." Derek shrugged and immediately started pulling his Henley over his head. What? 

"Alright?" Stiles exclaimed, looking at Derek with wide eyes. "What do you mean alright!?" 


Stiles' screams seemed to have attracted one of the staff member from the shack on the right.


"Hello! Welcome!" The very naked man greeted them in a cheery tone. Too cheerful for someone naked.


Stiles turned bright red and turned to Derek for support and oh hell, Derek was naked too now? 

Living a life with the supernatural being real, and werewolves being his best friends, his pack, and almost getting mauled by a merman the night before on this very beach hadn't been enough to prepare him for the scene unfolding before his eyes. 

He didn't seem to have a coping mechanism for nudity ready to kick in like he had for all the other unexpected things life threw his way. Was Stiles a prude deep down?

Derek, unclothed, went to shake hands with that other naked man. 


"Hi." Derek smiled, actually smiled one of his wide grins, the real kind, all cute teeth and everything. 


The naked stranger gave Stiles a once-over. "Sorry, kid, but this beach insists that everyone on the beach has to be completely naked."

"Naked. In the nude. Dans son plus simple appareil." Stiles started to nervously speak French now. Watching French movies with Allison was starting to rub off on him in the strangest ways. He turned to Derek. "Maybe you should go on without me, I'll just wait here like a nice little clothed guard dog."

"You're coming." Derek's eyes were so intense that Stiles almost feared they would glow red.

"Okay. okay." Stiles rolled his eyes. There was no use fighting Derek on this. "Give me a minute, Buttcrack."


Stiles regretted, regretted so much, his stupid ways. Now he wished he had waited for the pack before going investigating that merman on the beach all by himself. If he hadn't put himself in the middle of what happened to be the merman's mating call, Derek wouldn't have had to come flying to the rescue. He wouldn't have lost his precious phone either. That last part, that was just Derek's fault, wasn't it? Who comes fight a merman with their phone? Derek Hale, that's who.


"Don't worry, Kiddo." The naked man said as Stiles was slowly untying his shoes. "Once you get introduced to the joy of swimming and relaxing entirely nude you'll never want to go back to wearing clothes again."

"Right. Back to nature. Nuts flowing in the wind. The bare minimum." Stiles grumbled under his breath. 


That was one thing when someone was built like Derek, all whipcord muscles and golden skin. But Stiles? He wasn't self-conscious about a lot of things but there was a fine line between being self-conscious and being conscious. Yeah because even if he wasn't shy per se, he could still accept the true reality of his physique. He was alright. He was fine. He wasn't werewolfly hot, he didn't have werewolves genes added onto his DNA like Scott, he wasn't born in a birthday suit of hotness like Derek and his werewolf genes. Stiles was still a pale little human with all his human genes and he still had to actually work out if he wanted to build his figure. And working out, that just wasn't a thing he liked to do. He would run a marathon to get away from a monster but that was running for his life not running for his - his what? 


"Stiles, get on with it." Derek broke Stiles' internal ramblings. 


Stiles looked up and was met again with the image of a Derek au naturel, hands on his hips, absolutely unashamed.

Stiles had seen this part of him a couple of times since they met but never like that, never in the sunlight and during the day and never relaxed.
Wait - no that came out wrong, he had not seen it not relaxed either. Relaxed as in being chill, Stiles mentally corrected himself not sure this was a better or worst way to put it. It wasn't helping the mental imagine of Derek naked in a very hot and bothered situation burning his brain right now.
No, Stiles only meant relaxed as in not bloody after a fight when Derek's pants had been ripped to shreds by the claws of a rogue omega. Or that one time Stiles caught him coming back from a full-shift run through the woods, Derek had acted shy and quickly pulled up the pair of pants he had left on the porch. Stiles only meant these kinds of unrelaxed situations, nothing dirtier than that. Shit... Derek could certainly smell everything going on in Stiles. He really had to keep himself in check.


Derek seemed all for the idea of being naked in public right now. Stiles had no choice but to follow along. He pushed his boxers down and he was now left to his gloriously bare body. It was not the time for a surprise boner. Luckily, the awkwardness he felt at being naked in the middle of a parking lot was enough to keep him soft. Yup.


"You'll see, people are more natural, easier to meet when they are naked. Rejoice in being back to nature as you were created!" Nude Dude told them.

"Come on, let's go!" Derek's head jerked in the direction of the beach, before he started himself on the sandy path, bare-assed and beautiful.


Stiles swallowed. He only had to follow and wow, uh, that woman sitting there was naked too. Obviously, that shouldn't have made his heart jump in surprise considering they were on a nudist beach but Stiles couldn't just snap his fingers and erase the last twenty years of his life preparing him to see people clothed. All he had to do was not let his eyes wander too much to the side, only focus them on Derek... and Derek's ass bouncing with each step. 

Derek seemed utterly happy and comfortable here on a naturist beach surrounded by all the butts.


Maybe Stiles had been taken away by that merman after all and this was his poisoned delirium.




They quickly made their way through the beach, all the way to the dunes where the beach wasn't being flattened for the tourists. That was the scene of the crime, where Stiles had almost been abducted into the ocean waves and for what? To mate with a merman and become his little mermaid? Stiles shook off some shudders. 


"Derek, nobody's watching us here!" Stiles called out to him where he was bent over and moving a handful of sand around trying to find his very important phone.


Derek turned to him with a somewhat shocked expression on his face, his eyebrows shot almost to his hairline. Was Stiles imagining the change in color too? Was Derek starting to blush? His ears were definitely red right now, it could be a sunburn? Wait no, werewolves didn't get sunburns...


"I thought maybe I could at least put on some boxers?" Stiles continued. "The precious and private space between my ass cheeks itches, man, that soft breeze feels nice on the balls yeah but that's some sneaky little wind, I definitely have some sand in there and it burns."


TMI probably but he needed Derek to understand the urgency, Stiles' butt was screaming a little bit and not in the good, pleasurable way.

Derek frowned, still looking over at Stiles with a puzzled expression. Did werewolves not experience sand the same way? 


"Yeah, you know, sand gets everywhere..." Stiles trailed off, eyes moving away, to a safe distance and definitely not staring at a butt-naked Derek now crouching on the white sand. "Have you found the phone yet?"

"Do you see me with a phone?" Derek deadpanned, bringing Stiles' attention back on him, as if Stiles' eyes needed any reminder that Derek was still naked. "How about you give me a hand? Need I remind you that we wouldn't be here if it weren't for you?"

“Right...” Stiles cleared his throat. "It's always Stiles' fault with you guys, isn't it? How about you take responsibility for your own phone losing actions?"


It was always fun to let Derek grumble for a little while. Naked grumbling was new.


It was a good thing that most of the blood from last night had been absorbed by the sand and maybe washed away by the waves, leaving only a rosy stain, because Stiles couldn't imagine the headlines if Derek had left the dead body of a merman in a pool of blood on a naturist beach.

That would have been a diplomatic incident for sure.




After an hour or so, they had to admit their defeat. The search was fruitless. Derek's phone wasn't here. They could go back home their tails between their legs.

They could, but that didn't mean Derek would.


"I'll go ask Frank if he had something in the lost and found box." Derek sighed, brushing a hand through his messy hair.

"Frank?" Stiles squawked. "Who's Frank?"

"The staff member we met earlier." Derek said as if this was common knowledge.

"You befriended Frank in two minutes?? It took you two years to accept me in the same room?? Are you drugged on sunlight??" Stiles couldn't believe his ears, nor his eyes because Derek was actually smiling again, smiling at him this time. 


Oh no, how was Stiles supposed to survive this day? It would have been easier to be brought into the ocean by the merman. Maybe he would have been a good husband, who knew? It might have been better than being faced once again by his huge, enormous crush on Derek Hale.


"Come on." Derek walked by him. His large warm hand found Stiles' back and traveled the long of his spine.


Stiles stopped breathing for a second as Derek's hand stopped in the middle of his back and didn't descend any further. 

It was one thing to be somewhat touchy when they were clothed. Stiles would admit to letting his fingers brush against Derek's forearm from time to time. He wasn't lying to himself when he thought Derek did it too. It was just a thing between them. That and the looks, intense looks, but those could also be coming from irritation on Derek's part, Stiles couldn't really tell as Derek was often broody when they were back home.

For some unknown reason, now, Derek was advantageously naked and seemed perfectly content in that state. Even the loss of the phone didn't seem to bother him as much any more. 


Frank was busy playing naked beach volley with a few friends, junk bouncing happily in the sunshine. Jesus fucking Christ, Stiles needed to focus his line of vision somewhere else. 


Derek was sitting on a rock near the beach shack, nude body sun kissed and lickably gorgeous.

Stiles swallowed thickly again. He conjured thoughts about Scott, his dad, that old wrinkly lady at the store a few months ago who kept making awfully inappropriate comments to the cashier. Anything to keep the boner at bay.

He had his clothes in hand, used them to cover himself a little but thought better of it when a nudist couple passed by him, glaring at him shaking their heads. 


"Clothes forbidden." The guy stage-whispered at Stiles.


Derek snickered from where he was sitting. His eyes were bright and happy. Mocking Stiles with his soul wide open. Stiles could only sigh, he was definitely more than a little bit in love with that magnificent naked werewolf idiot. More than ever at this very moment because with his clothes gone, Derek seemed to have left the weight of the world behind on the floor. That suited him so so well. Stiles wanted to kiss him. So bad.


Frank finally finished playing the beach volley game of what felt like a lifetime and quickly jogged to them.


"You needed something, boys? Lube? Condoms? We only ask that sex activities be safe and out of the public eye. Mostly."


Stiles choked. That was it, that was the end of Stiles Stilinski, suffocating on his own saliva, naked on the sand. What was his dad going to think? What about his obituary? 


“Hey...” Derek came next to him, patted his back softly, "Breathe."

“I'm good. I'm fine." He took a deep inhale and let it out slowly. "I'm fine. I can bear it. Get it? Bare it?" Stiles chuckled breathlessly. It was a good one.

Derek rolled his eyes, slowly and intently to make sure Stiles saw everything. "Are we sure you didn't get some brain damage from lack of oxygen because this joke... It just wasn't good, Stiles."

"Well you got me naked, of course I'm not on my best game!" Stiles swatted his shoulder.

"I don't see why not. You're perfect like this." Derek said before turning to Frank.


Stiles didn't have any time to answer or even react. It was good in a way because his brain had blanked out for a second. Shocked out of his mind.


Derek talked to Frank, explained the loss of his phone and then followed him into the shack.


A few minutes later, he came out, triumphant bright smile, phone in hand. 


Stiles' eyes opened wide in surprise. "You got it? Who would have thought naturists were so honest?" He chuckled. "Guess that's what happens when you don't have pockets."


Derek clicked the phone case open quickly and took a small folded piece of paper out before handing it to Stiles after a split-second of hesitation. 


"For me?" Stiles frowned, looking down at the paper now in his hand. "You mean we ran around buck naked all morning for this?"


Derek didn't answer anything. Ah, he looked constipated again, that look was closer to the Derek Hale Stiles knew. 

Stiles carefully unfolded the paper, it felt old, not vintage old but like it had been folded and tucked neatly into Derek's phone case for a while.

His eyes quickly skimmed over the words... but wait. He did a double take and started reading again. There was a mistake somewhere in there. His name, Stiles, was written neatly at the top in what was unmistakably Derek's handwriting, but under it was a scribbled paragraph about - about what exactly? Feelings? Trust?

Stiles could only stare, mouth agape, at the word love.


"What is this?" Stiles mumbled, barely a whisper. 

Derek stared at him a minute and then he ducked his head, looking sheepish when his eyes met Stiles' again. "I wrote it a few months ago, after months of trying to actually write it, but I was too much of a coward to give it to you or, tell you."


Stiles battled to find words, any kind of words. This was real then, it wasn't some kind of sick joke?


"I just didn't want to lose it, I needed to get it back and I figured I might as well give it you now... as we are being exposed today." Derek smiled, slightly teasing.

Stiles snorted. "Exposed. Good one. But Der-" 

"I'm-" Derek started.

"No!" Stiles blurted out. He took a step closer, could almost touch him. "Don't you dare apologize. You wrote me a love letter? One that you carried on you for months?" Stiles couldn't help but smile. "Shit." He sighed. "I feel it too, you know, I've been feeling it. God, is that why you didn't wait for the pack and came straight to rescue me this time? Most times?"

"Well, you keep getting in trouble..." Derek said softly, in secret. 


Stiles cut the distance between and kissed him right then and there, clothes and paper still clutched in one hand. It was better than arguing that he didn't actually get in trouble all that much, just a little bit. Derek kissed back like he had been craving it, actually craving for real, maybe more than Stiles if that was even possible.

They could have been doing this for months if one of them had pulled their head out of their asses. 

Derek moaned, opening his mouth to him. Stiles wouldn't have ever imagined a sweeter sound.

Oh yeah. 
Oh no, Stiles' body reminded him that he was still very much naked and against a naked Derek too to make matters worse. All in the nude. 

Stiles sighed heavily. Derek slid his hands down Stiles’ back again but this time didn't stop in the middle. They went all the way down to the low of his back, fingers just shy of brushing against Stiles' ass.


Stiles gave him an ostentatious grin. "You know, we don't have to go home right away... Frank did warn us against full-on public sex but if you're up for the dunes, I mean, I might be easily convinced. Just saying that the option is open if you want to take it." 


Derek smiled his real smile again. From this close, Stiles could see every flake of brown in Derek's green eyes, sparkling bright in the sunlight.


"I might take you up on that."




It was only about an hour later that Stiles realized it had been incredibly stupid to try to have sex on the beach on some woolly towels that Derek had dug from the depth of the trunk of the camaro. It felt insanely good, no question about it, to have Derek pressed against him, Derek's hands traveling on him. Incredibly good to let his own hands, his own his fingertips, learn the shape of Derek's body. Kissing and sucking and feeling so right hidden behind the dunes, their noises covered by the sound of the waves. 


But, man, sand did get everywhere.