Work Header

Mission Report

Work Text:

"Hey, Isaac?"

"What is it, Miria my dear?"

"If we're supposed to be making the world a better place, how is stealing this shield going to help?"



"I'll tell you how. See, Captain America always has his shield. It's his talisman. But everyone knows that a hero's best weapon is always stolen from him at the most pivotal moment, when he's facing his arch-nemesis and he needs it the most."

"Of course!"

"But now, he's in no such danger! So if we steal it now, he won't be forced to rely on it only to have it snatched from him at the climax of his ultimate battle! We're freeing him from his dependency and thus robbing his enemies from the chance to cripple him at the worst possible moment."

"Yay! Isaac, you're brilliant!"

The next day, after reading Barnes' report about how a couple dressed as mimes attempted to steal Captain Rogers' shield and led the Commandos on a chase halfway around London, Colonel Phillips groaned. "That's it. I don't care how good those boys are at what they do, I'm cutting off their bar tab."