So, Derek goes to Melissa and he says, “Melissa, this is a thing that happens with werewolves. The alpha makes all the babies in the pack.” and Melissa says, “My baby isn’t old enough to be a father!”
And Derek says, “Awkward, but I don’t really need Scott be, like, a father, just a sperm donor. I’m pretty rich and I own my own place and I’m infrequently fertile and he’s about to leave for two years and I want a baby.”
Melissa’s like, “Do you want Chris’s baby, because I’m still pissed at him, so I bet Keith would be happy with that.” Only silently in her head.
Only Derek can sort of imagine that that is what Melissa is thinking, so he says, silently in his head, “Pretty sure Argent doesn’t want his baby raised by wolves. Remember that time his wife tried to kill Scott just for sleeping with his daughter?” But silently. In his head.
Then Melissa realizes that she and Derek are not actually telepathic and are sort of staring at each other creepily and says, “Um, he’s too young for you.”
And Derek is all, “We could get married? Just for the lolz. I mean, just until I had the baby, and then after we got the birth certificate all straightened out, we could get divorced. Or we could stay married. I am not actually picky on this point, since Scott is my alpha, and my girlfriend is not the marrying kind.” Then Derek briefly thinks that Braeden may want right of first refusal, even if she doesn’t want to marry him herself, but OH WELL.
And Melissa thinks this is super-weird, but also, she wants to check it out with someone who knows more about werewolves than she does. So she says, “Give me a call in a week. I’m going to check with Noshiko and Satomi before I make up my mind about anything that is this weird. You realize this is VERY WEIRD, Derek. What you are asking?”
And Derek nods, and he gives her his best panty-melting smile.
Melissa facepalms and says, “You shouldn’t use Fuck Me eyes when you’re asking for permission to marry my son. You have turned the weirdness up to eleven.”
Derek says, “Sorry. I’m going to go. Now. Call you next week.”
I think I screwed that up, he tells Braeden, or he mumbles it into her boobs as they’re lying in bed together. “I told Melissa McCall I wanted to make her 17 year old son my baby daddy.”
“Well, why did you start this conversation with your alpha’s mom, sweetie?”
Derek groaned, because Braeden only called him sweetie when she a) thought he was being and idiot and b) wanted to be nice to him anyway. “I didn’t want to be a creeper like Kate.”
“Are you planning to burn her and the Sheriff and Argent and the new baby and that creeper Stilinski alive? Because the bar is not high for you to be less creepy than Kate.” She patted the top of his head and rocked a little from side to side.
Derek considered, briefly, explaining that he was not a baby or a pet that needed coddling, but then he realized that he was a grown ass man who would very much like cuddling, so he should keep his mouth shut about that. “The thing is, and I don’t think I even told Melissa this yet, I didn’t actually talk to Scott yet. So I hope Melissa doesn’t say anything because that would be even weirder, I think.”
“Well, there’s nothing you can do about it now, so you might as well accept it and move on.” Braeden sighed. “I kind of wish you wouldn’t talk about this in bed. It’s the opposite of sexy.”
Derek just snuffled quietly into Braeden’s boobs and let his eyes drift close.
“Derek, you asked my mom if you could have sex with me before you asked me if you could have sex with me. Not cool, man!” Scott tossed his helmet on the floor and slammed the loft’s door closed behind him.
Derek, who had been sitting at his table working on some files, winced, and turned around to face his angry alpha. “I didn’t know which of you to ask first, and asking Melissa first seemed less likely to land me in jail. You could have ordered me not to say anything to her.”
“Because that would have been a good idea! But also, I wouldn’t do that. I don’t do things like that, which you know.” Scott crossed his arms and gave Derek a pretty furious look.
“If you have time to think, you’re terrific. If you’re rushed, you kidnap a kid to tell him he’s going to be a werewolf.”
Scott rolled his eyes. “I was thinking to myself, ‘What Would Derek Hale Do?’ and that’s how I got into trouble with Liam.”
Derek scowled and turned back to his papers. “If you just wanted to turn me down, you could have sent a text.”
“I didn’t say that!” Scott walked up behind Derek and put his hands on Derek’s shoulders. “I’m not saying no. I’m saying tell me more, dude. This seems pretty sudden.”
Without really thinking about it, Derek leaned sideways and nuzzled into Scott’s hand. He felt Scott stiffen behind him, which made Derek stiffen and pull away in turn. “Sorry,” he said.
“No,” said Scott. “It's…okay? It’s okay. Touching me is weirdly good. Touching you. You know what I mean.”
“It’s grounding. It helps create the pack’s scent. You can establish hierarchies with it. Touch does a lot in a healthy wolf pack.” Much more slowly this time, Derek leaned backward, until his head touched lightly on Scott’s stomach. After a moment, when Scott stayed close, he gave over more of his weight.
“I was serious about telling me more,” said Scott. “This seems really sudden. I mean, we just got straight that you were my beta, and now you want to, uh, date me.”
“That’s not it, Scott,” said Derek, knowingly. He was sure that Melissa had been more clear about what he’d said to her, since she’d mentioned it to Scott at all.
“You want me to impregnate you. Which is weird. Because you’re almost thirty and I’m a high school junior. How do I seem like a good baby daddy?”
Derek shrugged, or tried to, but Scott pushed his shoulders down and started to massage them. “I’m not asking you to raise a child with me, Scott. But the pack’s children are the alpha’s children. I told you that before.”
“So, if I say no, you’re just not going to have any kids? That’s your plan?” Scott sounded, not skeptical, but a lot like he thought Derek was an idiot, or at least a maker of very dumb plans.
Derek didn’t answer, because he knew the answer that Scott wanted to hear, even if it wasn’t expected. He didn’t want to disappoint his alpha that way, but at the same time, he couldn’t lie. And even if Scott was happy for those in the pack to bring in children instead of bearing Scott’s, Derek wouldn’t be happy. He wouldn’t be happy to be the last of the Hales either—Cora had confided that she would be taking the Mendoza name when left her with them in Argentina—but he would live. And the pack in Beacon Hills would live. And the blood might live on through Malia, even if not the name.
“Derek, that’s a terrible plan. What if Braeden wants kids? Or your next lover?” Scott sighed and he hugged Derek.
Derek wasn’t expecting that, but he liked it, he liked it a lot. “Then they’ll find someone to have kids with adn it won’t be me, Scott. That’s what people do.”
Scott growled, just a little, but Derek cringed beneath him. “Stop that,” said Scott. “I’m not growling at you, exactly. More, the situation. I mean, Derek, I’m not ready to be a father. And I’m not ready to knock someone up and abandon him, either.”
“You’re not going to abandon me, Scott, you’re my alpha. And you would be my children’s alpha, even if I did have children from some other seed. And you’ll be Argent’s child’s alpha.”
“Will I? That kid’s going to be human, isn’t it?” Scott asked this curiously, as if he’d never given it any consideration.
Derek sighed. “You never listen. I told you when we first talked about the fire, there were humans in my pack. Stiles is a human in your pack right now.”
“Oh, yeah,” said Scott.
“So, what do I have to say? What else do you want to know, Scott?” Derek pushed away and got up from the table. He was now too agitated to sit still, but he covered it by going to his kitchen. “Do you want something to drink? I’m having water.”