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The Annoying Potter Prat

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"Lily's coming home in a few minutes, dear!" Henry Evans called out to his wife.

"That's wonderful! She told us she's going to bring her boyfriend with her! Oh, honey! This must be a serious relationship! She's never bought home a boyfriend home! Oooh! What if they get married! And they have kids! I'm gonna be a grandmother!" Rose Evans bounced around screaming in sheer delight at her daughter's potential future.

Henry sighed, his love hidden behind an exasperated look. Leave it to Rosie to already come up with wedding plans. But secretly, on the inside, he was very happy for his daughter. Every year, Lily had come home in tears or rage about some annoying Potter prat and how her life was ruined because of him…

In first year:

"Where do you think she is, Henry?" Rose asked, nervously scanning the groups of children leaving the train. All of them were laughing and greeting their parents, except for tiny, eleven year old Lily. After a few minutes of Rose running around knocking people down in search of her child, Henry finally spotted Lily shyly stepping off the train. Henry and Rose could do nothing but stare.

"Mum! Dad!" Lily exclaimed, jumping on her parents, smothering them in hugs. They still stood there in shock. "Lily, darling." Rose said, cautiously. "Why is your hair—?"

"Poufy with golden streaks?" The two parents nodded, confused.

"It's stupid Potter. He hated me from the moment he laid eyes on me. He said I didn't have enough "Gryffindor spirit" because I was friends with Sev, so he made me a lion with Gryffindor colors."

"Well you definitely have the mane for it." Henry said, jokingly.

"Henry!" Rose chastised. "Flower, I think that boy may like you."

"NO!" Henry and Lily exclaimed at once.

"EWWW!" Lily said, wrinkling her nose. "Potter hates me and I hate him. Me and him as friends? That's like saying the Gray Lady and the Bloody Baron were friends! It never happened and it never will."

"Alright, flower." Henry said, hiding a smile.

"Lily what is Hogwarts and your professors like? Are they treating you alright? Do you have any friends yet? How are your classes? Are they easy? Hard?" Rose blabbed on and on though and it definitely seemed to cheer Lily up.

"Mum! Hogwarts is splendid! It is so beautiful and I love my professors! They are very kind, and of course I have friends! My best friends are Alice and Severus. You know Sev, right? I wish you could see Hogwarts! It's so amazing!" Lily replied with just as much energy as Rose. It was very easy to see where she got her talkative energy from.

"Except for the stupid, annoying prat Potter," Lily said, her expression turning sour. "If only he weren't there. He and his friends think they are the kings of the world! Honestly!"

Henry sighed as his little flower ranted, his little baby was still safe from the danger that is: boys.

In second year:

"Hello Mum! Daddy!" called Lily, walking towards them. She looked towards Petunia. "Hello Petunia." She said quietly.

Petunia replied with barely a jerk of her head, but the word "freak", could be clearly be heard under her breath.

"Petunia!" cried Rose. "That is not a very nice thing to say! You better apologize young"

"Mum, it's okay." Lily said quietly as she tried not to let her disappointment show. Then she looked up quickly. "You won't believe how cool Hogwarts is! Alice and I were exploring, Sev couldn't come cause I think he had to see his other friends. Anyway, I accidentally leaned on this knight, and a passage opened up! Nobody knows about this passage except Ally, Sev, and I! Who knows how many more passages there are! We're going to go searching for more next year! I can't wait! The annoying Potter prat thinks he's so cool because he knows a lot of the passages, but that doofus is obviously lying! Duh."

Lily kept ranting on and on about how dumb the annoying Potter prat was. Talking about that boy seemed to be one of her favorite subjects. She talked constantly about his idiocy. It was quite entertaining, to watch.

Ahh, to be young and in love, thought Rose.

In third year:

"Do you see Lily anywhere, Hen? I can't find her!" called Rose.

"I don't know Rosie. Did you check the OMPH!" Henry exclaimed as a tiny girl with flaming red hair crashed into him. "Hello Lily Flower. How was Hogwarts?"

At that question Lily's almond shaped green eyes shone brightly in excitement. "Mum, dad." She said in a hushed voice, leaning in with a huge grin. It looked like her face would split in half if she smiled anymore. "I have a boyfriend!"

"WHAT?" roared Henry.

Lily nodded and smiled thinking he had shouted in excitement. "I know! It's Amos Diggory! AMOS DIGGORY! The most popular boy at school! He asked me to come to Hogsmeade with him next year and he promised he would write to me over break! Everyone said I was lucky! Even the fourth years! Now the annoying Potter prat can't annoy me anymore because I have Amos," she sang, dancing around Petunia who glared at her and stood stiffly.

Henry stared at Lily with a pale face and his mouth in a perfect 'O' shape.

"Honey, can I talk to you for a minute? Lily stay near the car!" Rose asked sweetly while grabbing Henry's ear and pulling him towards the pillars, not waiting for an answer.

"OW! OWWW! OK! OK! You can let go! I'm coming!" Henry exclaimed.

When Rose released him from the death grip, he started rubbing his ear. "Geez, redheaded women. You have twice the power as a normal woman, I swear."

"Henry. Let. Go." Rose Evans said seriously.

"What?" Henry asked confused.

"You can't always be there for your daughter, and you can't always protect her, okay, so don't ruin it for her. This is her first boyfriend, and there's a one in a billion chance he'll stay. You know how it is as teenagers. So go on and be a supporting father!" Rose exclaimed, giving her husband a small smack on the arm for good measure.

"You're right Rosie." Henry nodded. "Of course, you're always right. Let's go." Henry said and he took a deep breathe, as he started to walk forward. He tried to put on a brave face. A happy smile. Anything to show his lovely daughter that he would support her no matter what.

"Oh and Henry?" called out Rose.

"Yes, my sweet ginger cookie?" asked Henry.

"Wipe that stupid smile of your face. You look mental." Rose said with a smirk.

Ahhh, redheaded women…

In fourth year:

In the crowd of rushing children, Rose could make out two figures towards her. One girl with blazing red hair was leaning on the shoulder of a small, petite girl with short brunette hair. The red haired girl appeared to be crying.

"Lily!" Henry called out, running towards the girls. "Lily! What's wrong? What happened? Who did this?!"

"It's Amos, Mr. Evans." said Alice quietly.

"WHAT! What did he do to her?!" Rose shrieked her face bright red in fury.

"Well, it's not really him, it's actually" before Alice could say who, Lily started to sob even harder. "I'll let her explain when she's ready." said Alice, walking away after assuring her friend she would write soon.

"Honey. It's okay, it's okay. You're fine." Rose whispered into Lily's ear.

"It's not okay! It's not FINE!" Lily cried, as they entered the car. "Th-th-the a-a-annoying Potte…" Lily started crying again, but Rose got the idea.

"Lily flower. What did he do?" she asked softly.

"H-he-he ma-made Amos b-b-b-break up with me!" Lily started to tear up again, but she brushed it away. "He made Amos leave, an-and then asked me out right after that!" she sniffed, her face a faint shade of pink.

"Well? What did you say?" asked Henry curiously, and Rose smacked him on the back of his head. "What! It's just a question!" said Henry rubbing his head.

"I told him to jump in a pit and then I would throw a toaster at his head. After that I would send hippogriffs after him and after that… Well, you get the idea. I don't think he understood what I was saying."

"That's my girl! Next time, I would recommend using one of those hexes of yours against him!" Henry said with a grin.


Lily cracked a smile, and then her face fell. "Mum, I really liked Amos and now he's gone!" she cried.

"Oh, flower. A lot of boys are going to ask you out, and some of them will seem perfect, but let me tell you. There's going to be a boy coming along, very, very imperfect. But you will love him just the same. In your eyes he will be perfect, mistakes, stupidity, and all." said Rose softly and soothingly, as Henry put his hands softly on her shoulder.

"But when, mum? When?" Lily asked, begging like a child.

"Soon, baby, soon."

In fifth year:

Lily walked up to her parents and said, "Hello."

Then she started off towards the car. She looked tired, like a lost puppy. Her face was blotchy which shows she had been crying earlier. There were dark, visible shadows under her eyes from lack of sleep. But why?

Henry grabbed Lily's hand. "What's wrong, baby?" he asked softly.

"Nothing. There's nothing wrong. Let's put all my luggage inside—"

"Is it the annoying Potter prat?"

At these words Lily weakened. Her eyes showed the vulnerable side she was trying to hide so badly.

"Snape is not my friend anymore because of Potter." Lily said in a choked whisper.


In sixth year:

"Hey mum! Hello dad! Petunia." Lily said, barley acknowledging the fact that Petunia was there.

Rose looked at Petunia and was surprised to see a flicker of disappointment on her face. Maybe Petunia enjoyed being sought after.

Hello Lily flower. How was Hogwarts? Any new fancies?" Rose asked carefully.

Lily stiffened. "Yes. But every time one of them asks me out, something bad happens to them. One even ended up as a girl with a butt rash." Lily shuddered. "Then the annoying Potter prat comes along, 'saves the day', and asks me out. I'm running out of good ways to reject him now. Stupid bloody pervert." Lily muttered.

"Lily!" Rose cried. "You will not use that type of language in the car, young lady!"

"Yes, mum." replied Lily as they drove into the road.

"But he is." She whispered to herself.

Henry smirked as he looked at his daughter through the rear-view mirror. When Lily caught his gaze he sent her a wink.

That's his girl.

Back to the present:

Lily had finally gotten a boyfriend. Even Henry, who did not support any boys coming near his baby, was getting worried for her. He had half a mind to report that annoying Potter prat to the police over the harassment his daughter was facing.

That boy has a one minded crazy obsession over Lily. It's sickening, but kinda romantic, thought Rose. But you didn't hear that from me. Oh wait! I'm thinking this. Rose shook her head.

Henry noticed this. "Are you okay?" he asked softly, his fingers brushing hers as they took a break from cleaning the house for their visitors.

Rose understood his signal and wrapped her hand around his. "Yeah, I'm fine. I'm just a little nervous about meeting Lily's boyfriend," she replied.

"Well, you didn't act like that, running around the house screaming the names of your three hundred grand-kids." said Henry with a smirk.

Rose smacked his arm, before leaning her head on his shoulder and sighing. "It's just the way I deal with stress. You should have seen me before our first date. Panic attack does not even begin to describe what I was like," she said with a faint smile as she reflected on their past.

Ding! Dong!

"Oh! Here they are!" Rose screamed, her energy back in full-swing. She ran to the front door and threw it open to two people who looked incredibly flustered, as if they were caught post-makeout sesh.

Henry shuddered at the thought while he scrutinized the boy who had stolen his daughter's heart.

He was lean and tall, with raven black hair and twinkling hazel eyes framed behind a pair of square glasses. His eyes revealed a mischievous and fun loving personality.

"Hi mum. Hi daddy. This is James," said Lily as she clung to the arm of the seventeen year old.

"Oh, James!" Rose said, hugging the raven haired boy. "Welcome to the family!"

Lily and James turned a red worthy of Godric Gryffindor.

"Oh, well. Um, uh… we're not..." the couple stuttered.

"I see, I see." Rose said winking at James. "Waiting for the right moment. Don't take too long dear. Weddings take quite a while to plan, you know."

Henry, James, and Lily all paled to a nearly headless Nick white.

"Now, now Rosie. You're scaring the poor boy," said Henry quickly. And me.

"What? I'm just... suggesting" Rose said, wiggling her eyebrows mischievously.

"James, this is Petunia. Lily's sister." Henry introduced, trying to save the boy from any more embarrassment.

"Hello Petunia," James greeted politely to the horse-faced, blonde girl.

"Hello," Petunia replied, standing rigidly. "Great. The freak brought another freak with her," she said under her breath.

James stiffened, his fists clenching together tightly. "What did you just call Lily?" he asked in a low growl.

"James, it's okay. C'mon." Lily whispered, putting her hand on his chest, holding him back.

Rose and Henry could see how much James truly loved Lily, and how much she loved him back.

"What! What did I miss?" a huge whale, sorry person, came lumbering into the hall, holding a huge pan of pie. He was huge, no ginormous, and had a bushy mustache with bits of apple pie stuck on it.

"Vernon! You ate our dessert!" cried Rose in annoyance.

"I'm sorry, but I work for a famous drill company, Grunnings, they handpicked me you know. Anyway, my mum says they don't feed me well enough, 'Big bones need more food!' and I am a growing boy." Vernon said proudly.

"'Big bones' he says. I really like apple pie." Lily muttered.

"Hello, Vernon?" James asked.

Vernon grunted.

"Are you half-giant?" James asked curiously.

"What?" the growing boy grumbled.

"I was just wondering. I mean, I don't have anything against half-giants. You see, I have a friend, Hagrid, and he's a half-giant, and I was wondering if you were related to him." James asked.

"James!" Lily laughed. "He's a muggle!"

"Oh," James said, turning a faint shade of red. "Never mind."

"Muggle?" Vernon asked with pie spitting out of his mouth, while Petunia rubbed his back and told him to ignore those freaks and their freaky words.

"Anyway, Vernon is Petunia's fiancé." Henry told James loudly, trying to get rid of the awkward moment. Why was he in charge of dealing with these moments?

"WHAT?" Lily shrieked. "You're marrying that oaf?"

Oh great, another moment.

"Well, at least I'm not affected by your freakishness! I can't wait to get out of here, so I can be away from you!" Petunia screamed back. Lily grew redder and redder with each word spoken by Petunia. Soon, she was a bright blood red.

Lily whipped out her wand. "Boogly, woogly," she whispered, looking deadly. "Tinkly, dink. Turn this-"

"AHHHH!" screamed Petunia, as she ran up the stairs. "The freak's using her freakish powers on me!"

"Really?" James smirked. "Boogly, woogly?"

"I had to make it up on the spot! I was under pressure!" said Lily throwing her hands up in the air.

"I can make up better lies when McGonagall's chasing me down," said James, with an arrogant smirk.

"Why would a professor chase you down?" asked Rose, curiously.

"My friends and I are pranksters, so we get chased around a lot," James casually said.

"But Lily you said you didn't like that—"

"Anyhoo, let's go get lunch. Who's hungry? I thought I saw an extra pie in the fridge," Lily interrupted, quickly as a slight rosy pink blush crept up on her face.

"PIE!" screamed Vernon, and he ran as fast as his stubby legs could carry him towards the kitchen.

"Oh no, you don't!" screamed Rose as she chased him down. Everyone sighed and walked towards the kitchen.

"So James, what do you plan on doing now that you have graduated Hogwarts?" asked Henry, once they were all settled down and had a plate of food in front of them. He was curious about the professions of witches and wizards. Vernon was sitting in his seat with a grumpy look on his face because Rose had hidden the pie from him.

"I plan on becoming an Auror, sir," said James.

"It's like a cop, dad. A dark wizard catcher," said Lily, when she noticed her parent's confused look. "I plan on becoming one too, remember?" Rose and Henry nodded.

"My parents," James turned somber; Lily held his hand under the table. "They paid for me to go to an Auror training school, before," he shut his eyes in a pained manner. "Before they died."

Silence covered the table, but James quickly changed the subject. Henry had the feeling that he didn't appreciate sympathy. He was happy though, that Lily and James both had a promising future. They were two bright young adults with their whole lives ahead of them.

"So," said James, until he saw Rose's face. "Um, Mrs. Evans. Are you alright?" he asked, cautiously.

Rose looked like a fish. She kept opening her mouth, and then closed it again looking wistful.

"Rosie, just say it. You look like your choking," said Henry in exasperation. Rose blushed deep red.

"Oh, Lily, um... I was, um... I was..." Rose stuttered.

"Mum! Just say it already!" Lily cried.

"I was wondering what happened to the annoying Potter prat?" Rose asked curiously, throwing an apologetic glance at James.

James choked on his food and Lily slapped him on the arm. A huge Cheshire cat smile started to creep onto his face even as he rubbed the spot where Lily had hit him.

Henry looked at James sympathetically. He knew how it felt to be "playfully" smacked by a redheaded woman. Twice the power...

"And why would you ask that, mum?" Lily asked after the initial shock wore off.

"You know, darling. You would always talked about him ever since your first year—"

"Did you now?" James interrupted, turning to Lily, his grin never receding.

Lily rolled her eyes. "And?"

Rose continued, "You would always rant about how he sabotaged all your dates and constantly asked you out and well, you haven't complained about him yet," she said slowly. She was a little confused to say the least. After all, didn't Lily hate that annoying Potter prat with a passion?

"Well, um, you could say, that the annoying Potter prat has finally matured," said Lily causing James to smile. "Now he's just the Potter prat." she continued with a smirk causing James's smile to turn into a childish pout.

"Oi!" he yelled in mock anger.

"Yes, Jamie?" Lily asked sweetly, batting her eyelashes.

"Oh! Is the boy your friend?" Rose asked, feeling slightly ashamed.

"You could say that." James said thoughtfully, "We know each other really well, and we get along most of the time." Lily burst out laughing.

"Most of the time?" she asked with an amused smile.

"Sometimes we get into fights and disagree on stuff" James bantered, grinning.

"First sign you're crazy." Lily murmured, taking a sip of her drink.

"You know you love it." James said, with a cheeky smile, forgetting that Lily's parents were standing right there.

"Sadly, yes." Lily said, with love shining in her green eyes.

"So," Rose said, clearing her throat, causing James and Lily to blush. "Did the annoying... ehm, did the Potter prat... er boy, stop annoying Lily after he found out she was dating you?" she asked, directing the question to James.

"Kind of." James said thoughtfully, "I think he still likes you though. Like a lot."

"He better."

"You know," James corrected himself. "I actually think my friend loves you."

"He-he what?" Lily stuttered. "He does?"

James nodded. "Well, tell your friend I love him too." Lily said smiling.

James nodded, his expression was one of mock-seriousness. "I think he knows."

Lily leaned her head on James shoulder, their fingers intertwined underneath the table.

Henry finally recovered from his shock. "Am I missing something? Because I'm pretty sure my Lily confessed her love to your friend, that annoying Potter boy, who she had hated since she was eleven."

"Really? Eleven? Now isn't that too young an age to hate?" James asked, mockingly.

"He dyed my hair gold and made it puffy like a lion!"

"At least it wasn't slicked back and dyed green and silver like Snivel— right sorry, sorry." James said, under Lily's glare.

Henry cleared his throat.

"Oh, right. Mum, dad." Lily took a deep breath, "This is James."

"Darling, we know that— VERNON I FORBID YOU TO TAKE ANY PIE UNTIL EVERYONE IS READY!" Rose screamed.

"I'm a growing boy," Vernon grumbled.

Everyone rolled their eyes and turned back to Lily.

"Flower, we know his name is James. What does that have to do with anything?"

Lily blushed a rosy pink. "Well, before I say anything you should know that... um well, you see, people change and—"

"Oh, get on with it, woman. It's really not that bad," James said.

Lily glared at him. The glare that would make the weak at heart shrivel up in fear. The glare that could set anyone within looking distance running the opposite direction. The glare that she reserved for when she was talking about—

Oh. My. God. Rose thought, her eyes widening in surprise. "You— you— you're."

James grinned. "James Potter, at your service."

The whole table became silent.

The End