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His Name is Tine

Chapter 15: I Only Knew What Love Is When I Met You

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(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

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Where the hell did he go?! Sarawat almost falls twice down the stairs as he races in the direction Tine left in, but he can’t spot him anymore.

“TINE??” People are starting to stare, but Sarawat can’t even see them. Where the hell is Tine?!

He rips his way through campus, panicking. What does Tine think?? How much did he hear?? Did he notice that Sarawat wasn’t returning Pam’s hug, or that he looked unhappy, or was he too focused on Pam with her arms around him?

Does he think Sarawat is even CAPABLE of cheating on him??

“TINE?!” He stands on a bench, yelling and looking around, but still can’t find him. He couldn’t have gone far!! Did he try to go home??

Sarawat rushes out to the street, looking around, and there, finally…

Tine…

“TINE!” he yells, rushing over. “TINE!”

Tine is being ushered into a black car by two guys...one of whom is Mil.

Of all people!

“Where are you taking him?!” Sarawat reaches for Tine, who is bent in half, hand on his chest...is he struggling to breathe?!

“Don’t stop me!” Mil yells, pointing angrily at Sarawat. “I am taking him to a hospital.”

“Tine, I’m here…” Sarawat wraps his arm around Tine, swinging his head up at Mil. “BACK OFF!”

“You back off!” Mil reaches out and shoves Sarawat violently, pushing him off Tine.

Sarawat stumbles in shock, then strides forward again. “I will take him myself!”

Mil lunches forward, fists clenched, and his friend, still supporting Tine calls to him. “Calm down, man!”

Sarawat is staring at him, itching for a fight, and Mil seethes.

“Where the hell have you been? You can’t even take good care of your boyfriend. And you think you can freaking ask for ANYTHING now?!”

Sarawat tears his eyes from Mil and looks at Tine, still bent right over, gasping for air. He wretches, dry heaving as if he needs to puke.

“...Tine?” Sarawat whispers in horror, going numb with shock.

Is this...did he cause this? What is happening??

Mil nods at his friend. “Get him in the car.”

Sarawat steps back, his eyes wide. Tine hasn’t looked at him, doesn’t look at him, just allows the friend to help him into the car. Mil glares at Sarawat once more, then rushes around to the driver’s side.

Now Sarawat is the one who can’t breath, he’s hyperventilating, but what can he do, what can he say...his emotions don’t matter, nothing matters except Tine getting to the hospital, Tine has to be alright…

The car pulls away and Sarawat spins, watching it go, watching it carry Tine away from him. He watches them, something building inside him, something twisting, and he really can’t breathe now, the world has disappeared, his vision pinpointed to the taillights getting further and further away….

“DAMN IT!!!!” the scream rips itself out of him, echoing violently off the nearby buildings, and Sarawat doesn’t care, doesn’t even notice...and he’s crying now, when did he start crying?? He buries his face in his hands and they’re soaked in minutes.

He’s standing in the street still, he seems to have lost control of his feet. What does he even do now? He can’t stay here forever, but moving away seems impossible, and his feet seem to wander in place, moving him in a strange circle…

Tine.

Tine.

Tine.

He finally collapses on the curb.

He has no idea how long he stays there before he manages to get up and pull himself home.

~

Sarawat has no idea what hospital Mil took Tine to, and he spends the entire night sitting in bed...in THEIR bed...hugging Tine’s pillow and waiting for him to come home.

He has to come home, right?

He will come home.

But the sun comes in before Tine does, and Sarawat can’t take it anymore. He hasn’t spent a night without Tine in months, and this was the longest night of his life.

He puts on fresh clothes, opens his laptop to search, and picks up his phone. He calls every single person who might know where Tine is: Tine’s friends, Sarawat’s friends, even Type, though he’s careful not to sound too panicked with him. When no one can help, Sarawat starts calling hospital receptionists, searching for every single one within a 10 minute driving radius of campus.

“Tine Teepakorn?” One finally answers with the words Sarawat needs to hear. “Yes, he was admitted here last night. He’s actually checked out now, just a few minutes ago.”

Sarawat is moving before she even finishes speaking, running to the door so fast, he almost forgets to put on shoes.

He’s never driven so fast in his life.

Speeding into the parking lot, Sarawat spins his car around several rows, until he finally sees what he needs: Tine, once again being helped by Mil into his car.

Sarawat doesn’t even park in a spot, just slams on the brakes and throws open the door, leaving it open behind him as he rushes to Tine’s side.

Tine has already closed his door.

“Why the hell are you here?” Mil calls, but Sarawat pushes right past him. Mil is nothing. Mil doesn’t matter. He taps the window.

“Tine??” Tine closes his eyes, not looking at him. Sarawat tries the handle next, but it’s locked. He taps the window again.

“Tine? Tine, come out and talk to me.” His breath is coming out in gasps again, the tears threatening to reappear. If he peers closely, he can see Tine through the tinted window, ignoring him.

“Tine...Tine...Tine, just talk to me! Please!” he’s hitting the window now, begging, because Tine is right there, he’s RIGHT THERE…

Tine opens the door.

Fuck. The relief washes over Sarawat for a moment, but it can’t last, he has to explain.

“What you saw yesterday was nothing. There is NOTHING going on between me and Pam.” He reaches for him, begging him to understand, but Tine…

Tine shoves his hand away.

“Just stop already.”

Sarawat has never heard Tine’s voice like that, so cold, so...hurt. His eyes go wide, staring at him.

“I don’t want to hear whatever you have to say.” Tine’s words hurt more than any weapon he could wield, each one cutting deeper and deeper into Sarawat’s very soul. “I can’t trust you anymore.”

“Tine…”

But Tine has turned and is getting back into the car. The door slams shut, separating them more completely than Sarawat could have imagined.

“I might be an ass…” Sarawat had forgotten Mil was still standing there, leaning on the car and watching. “...but I’ve never been so mean to the one I love.”

Sarawat sways on the spot, his legs threatening to give out under him.

“If you can’t take care of this little thing...just let him go.” Mil walks around the the front seat, getting ready to take Tine away yet again, and Sarawat just stands there.

He just stands there and lets Mil take Tine away.

~

Sarawat doesn’t know what to do with himself. He’s literally never hated himself more. He hates everything. He wants to lash out, but who can he blame other than himself? There’s Pam of course, but she was just confessing her feelings to him...Sarawat is the one who let her hug him, who agreed to give her guitar lessons in the first place, and why? He knew it would bother Tine, but he did it anyway...why did he do it...why did he let Pam hug him, why not push her away immediately…

You did nothing wrong! A voice sometimes yells in his head. You didn’t cheat on Tine, you don’t have feelings for Pam, he just misunderstood! But Sarawat shuts that voice up quickly. It doesn’t matter if he didn’t cheat on Tine, Tine THINKS that he did, and that is all that matters. Tine is in pain...because of Sarawat. It’s the one thing he swore he would prevent.

Why does he even bother going about his day? He is on autopilot as he heads to campus, and even once he’s there, he’s not entirely sure why he is, what he’s doing. Rehearsal? But rehearsal without Tine…

He glares around the room, furious at its very existence. The Music Club room...this was a place for him and Tine. Tine followed him here. They got to know each other here, really got to know each other. Tine became an actual person to Sarawat here, his crush transforming into something so much more real...the only real thing he’s ever felt…

FUCK THIS ROOM!

He’s playing angrily, strumming the guitar harder as if it could absorb some of his rage, could take some of the pain away, but the guitar stubbornly refuses to yield.

Suddenly aware that the song they are playing is a love song, Sarawat breaks, throwing the guitar down and storming out the door, unable to be in this room for another second. He doesn’t say a word, doesn’t collect his stuff, just gets in his car and goes home.

Tine has been there.

The tingle, the feeling that Sarawat felt so long ago just from Tine’s presence...he rushes up the stairs, half expecting to see Tine there waiting for him.

The room is empty, and not just of Tine. Tine’s bag is gone, his guitar...Sarawat walks over to the closet and peers in. A bunch of clothes are missing.

Tine left.

He left.

Sarawat looks around the room, his hands in his hair, tears welling up again, and suddenly he sees it.

Tine’s bracelet is sitting on the desk.

Sarawat walks toward it slowly, sure he’s hallucinating, and reaches out with a shaking hand. He picks it up. It’s real.

Sarawat finally collapses, like a puppet with its strings cut, crumpling to the floor, sobs wracking his body, the bracelet clutched in his hand.

~

Eventually Sarawat finds his way to bed. He doesn’t get up for two days.

Mann calls. Sarawat ignores it. Boss calls. Sarawat turns off his ringer. Temp calls about CTRL-S and Sarawat answers just to hang up on him.

The second day, Sarawat doesn’t even eat anything. The blinds are pulled shut, and he lies in the dark, unable to cry, unable to move even. Tine’s pillow still smells like him, and Sarawat lies blankly, staring at the wall, his arms holding the pillow to his face as if he can absorb the smell somehow. Tine’s bracelet is still clutched in his hand. He tries desperately not to remember, but remembering is all he does.

In the evening, Mann pounds at his door, yelling for Sarawat to let him in, but Sarawat physically can’t get out of bed. He’ll go away eventually.

Sarawat can’t decide if he hopes Tine is hurting as much as he is; if he is, it means that Tine still loves him...but it also means that Tine is in pain, and Sarawat would not wish this agony on anyone, especially not the one he loves.

Mann finds a way inside on the third day, bribing the landlord to unlock the door. He comes upstairs, turning the light on, and Sarawat hisses away from it, burying his face deeper into Tine’s pillow. Mann sits down beside him, a hand on his shoulder.

“You smell terrible.” he says as a greeting. Sarawat would hit him if he had the energy to move. Mann sighs.

“Come on. Classes started today. I told all the professors that you were sick, but you can’t keep missing them.”

Sarawat snorts. Who the hell cares about classes?

“And when was the last time you ate? Come on, I brought you a green curry. It’s downstairs in the kitchen.

Sarawat just shakes him off and Mann sighs louder.

“Get your ass up and eat some damn curry! Fuck!!”

It is the shock of hearing Mann yell at him that finally pierces through Sarawat’s fog. He stares at Mann, then slowly, painfully - his body screaming at him after so much time in bed - Sarawat stands up.

Mann helps him down the stairs, setting up everything for Sarawat to eat, almost going as far as spooning the food into his mouth. As he eats, Sarawat feels himself start to come alive again. After about half the bowl is gone, he manages to look Mann in the eye.

“There you are!” Mann grins. “Welcome back. Now finish eating. I’m packing you a bag, and you’re coming to stay at my place and I swear if I hear you complain about it, I will punch you.” He says all this far too brightly, then pats Sarawat’s shoulder again and heads upstairs.

In Mann’s dorm, Sarawat finally unlocks his phone and checks up on what he’s missed. The first thing he notices is that Tine hasn’t posted anything. The second thing is how many idiotic people are celebrating his break-up.

Break-up…?

Seeing that word on his screen is enough to send him back to bed. He wishes he hadn’t left Tine’s pillow behind.

These girls are all so happy...calling him single...he can’t be single. He belongs to Tine, he always has!

None of them seem to care that he’s never been in more pain in his entire life.

“Ah ah ah!” Mann pulls Sarawat’s phone out of his hand and turns it off. “Now you are seeing the dark side of social media. Don’t look at it.”

Sarawat stares at him, then rolls over closing his eyes.

Break -up.

Single.

Tine…

~

Mann makes him go to class the next day, but Sarawat still isn’t speaking. He sits in the back, glaring at everyone who dares look his way.

The good news is that his lethargy seems to have disappeared. The bad news is that it’s been replaced by some kind of manic energy. Now that he’s out of bed, Sarawat can’t sit still for more than a moment without Tine’s face swimming before his eyes, and he absolutely can’t handle it. He paces, he runs, he drives. Anything to keep moving. He notices a soccer field across from a high school, full of students who are playing, and Sarawat jumps out of his car to join in, desperate for the release that can only come with sweat and exercise.

The release doesn’t come, but he keeps chasing it anyway, going back to the field each day. One day he finally speaks...just the single sentence, “Here!”, calling for the ball, but it’s the first time he’s used his voice since that day.

The anniversary of THE Scrubb concert, the first time he met Tine, the day it all started...was it really only a year ago? He feels like the last 4 days have lasted a decade.

He goes back to Mann’s that night and finds the usb Pam gave him. He stares at it, trying to remember what it was for…

Right. The song.

He plugs it in and turns on his computer to record, but it’s not a song that comes out.

“Actually….this should be your song, as promised, Pam. But I can’t write one for you anyway. I tried. But no matter how hard I tried, the lyrics wouldn’t come out. I don’t know why. All I know is that…” he sighs deeply. “The only one I want to write a song for is Tine. Even though he doesn’t want to hear it anymore.” Sarawat sighs again, then turns off the recording.

He will give it to Mann later and ask him to pass it along to Pam for him.

~

On the day before the music contest, Sarawat finds himself at the pitch with the high schoolers again. He knows they’re talking about him, but it is physically impossible for him to care. He scores a goal, then picks up the ball, tossing it to himself getting ready to go again, when he hears it.

The voice.

The most hated voice.

“What the hell is wrong with you? The contest is almost here, why aren’t you in practice?” Mil is walking toward him.

“Why do you care? It’s none of your business.” Sarawat steps up to him angrily, hoping yet again that Mil will throw a punch. A fight, a good physical fight...that will help him. And even better if it damages this smug face.

Mil doesn’t give him the satisfaction, just stares back, then shucks off his coat.

“Fine. I will play with you.”

They set up a match with the high schoolers, and the game progresses aggressively, Sarawat taking out all his emotions on the ball, the ground, the other players, and especially on Mil. Mil is always an aggressive player, giving back as good as he gets, and finally the game ends with Sarawat slammed into the ground and Mil scoring a goal.

“That’s two!” he crows at Sarawat, victorious. Sarawat glares at him from the ground, feeling a bruise start to form.

“Two what? It was the first goal.”

“Two times you’ve lost to me. One for football. One for Tine.”

Sarawat is on his feet in Mil’s space before he even knows it. “And when did I lose Tine to you?”

“Just look at yourself now!” Mil shoves Sarawat’s shoulder and Sarawat falls back, the fight suddenly out of him, exhaustion threatening to take over. “If my band wins the contest this year...I will ask Tine out. And if you can’t take that...don’t you dare show your face at that contest. I am warning you.”

He stalks off, leaving Sarawat trapped as if his feet had been nailed to the ground, a weird kind of ringing in his ears. Mil was going to ask Tine out. Mil thought he COULD ask Tine out. Tine was slipping even further away, and what had Sarawat done to prevent it? Lain in bed, lost in his own pain?!

He spins around, but Mil is already gone. Sarawat breathes heavily, but in control now.

He can’t just talk to Tine. He can’t just hope that Tine forgives him. He has to win him back.

Sarawat goes back to the university and walks nervously into the practice room.

CTRL-S is all there...they had a regular rehearsal booked for this time, and Sarawat guessed they had kept attending, despite his absence over the last 5 days. They all look up at him in surprise, in relief.

Sarawat exhales, his hands in his pockets. “Sorry I’m late.”

“Hurry up, I have set up the guitar for you.” Temp says.

Sarawat twitches his mouth up, almost like a smile. It’s the first time his mouth has done that in almost a week, and it hurts...but that doesn’t matter. He strides forward and takes his guitar from Temp, throwing the strap over his shoulder and looking around at his band mates, his friends.

They will do this. They will win this. And he will win Tine back.

It feels good to play again. Sarawat had forgotten what good felt like.

~

By the end of rehearsal, the band sounds better than ever, and Sarawat tells them his idea to the closing song, that he will do himself. Temp points out that he will need an acoustic guitar for that…

Like the one he gave Tine.

The one he wrote Tine’s love song on.

Sarawat nods. He knows what he needs to do.

It’s late when he finally gets the courage to stand outside Fong’s door. No one told him Tine would be here, but Sarawat just knows this is where he would go. Fong is his best friend. Sarawat looks around the stairwell, remembering nights here with Tine...this is where Tine lived in the beginning…

Sarawat swallows and knocks, before his courage can fail him.

“Oh...Wat.” Fong says in surprise, opening the door.

Sarawat takes a deep breath, looking at him. “.....is Tine here?”

Fong looks over his shoulder at where Sarawat assumes Tine is. He must get some kind of acknowledgement, because he nods at Sarawat and backs out of the way. Sarawat can hear the footsteps and then…

There he is.

Tine.

He’s wearing pyjamas.

His hair is unstyled.

He looks unhappy.

But he’s here.

He’s right in front of Sarawat, so perfectly, solidly present, so blindingly bright that Sarawat has to look away, to keep himself under control.

“What are you doing here?” Tine asks, his voice low.

Sarawat still can’t look at him. “Can I…” he sighs. “Can I have my guitar back?”

Tine is staring at him...Sarawat looks up at him and blinks, looking away. He can’t do it, he can’t look directly at something so beautiful. He remembers how he used to feast his eyes on Tine, gorging himself on the image of Tine just doing nothing, Tine just living his life…

If Sarawat gets him back, he will never take that for granted again.

Tine finally turns back into the room and goes to get it, and Sarawat finally gives in to his urge to look up. Tine is still stunning from the back, and Sarawat rubs a hand over his eyes.

Tine is back, holding the guitar out the door. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to keep it. I was going to return it to you.” he speaks robotically, and Sarawat’s stomach clenches.

“That’s okay.” he peers up at Tine, but has to drop his gaze again. “I’m just borrowing it for the contest. You will get it back.” Sarawat sighs. There is so much he wants to say, so much swirling inside him, and Tine is staring at him, watching him...but will he listen?

Steeling himself, forcing himself to look up at look Tine right in the eyes, Sarawat speaks again. “Come and support me?”

Tine’s eyes go wide in surprise. “I…”

That pause. Sarawat can’t handle it, he can’t hear it. “I will wait for you.” He tells Tine, grabbing the guitar and hurrying away before Tine can say another word.

Sarawat waited his entire life to see Tine at that concert and learn what love was.

Sarawat waited half a year to see him again and get to know him better.

Sarawat will wait for him tomorrow.

Sarawat will wait forever if Tine needs him to.

~

Sarawat doesn’t sleep that night. He sits outside Mann’s dorm, so as not to disturb him, and he writes the new song, the one for Tine.

The chords come easily. He’s had them in his head ever since they met, just randomly playing whenever Tine is near.

The lyrics take more time, and by the time he’s finished, Sarawat is in tears again.

He’s cried more this week than in the past 10 years combined.

But he’s satisfied with what they say.

Now, hopefully, Tine will listen to them.

~

Sitting in the prep room, Sarawat doesn’t even know how he feels. He doubts he could describe it. He’s somehow stressed, hurt, anxious, sad, and terrified all rolled into one ball. At least he’s not numb anymore.

All around him is the usual pre-performance chaos. People putting on makeup, double checking their instruments, pouring over their music / lyrics. Sarawat sits in the middle, and yet removed from all of it. He’s been trying since he got here to think of something to say, some kind of speech to read before he sings...something to really tell Tine that this is for him.

Assuming Tine comes…

He has to come…

The words which flowed so easily from him last night as lyrics simply won’t come as a speech. He can feel them burning inside, but nothing comes out the pen when he puts it to paper.

He might just have to wing it.

A small disturbance manages to catch his attention, and Sarawat looks up to see Boss and Mann...and for some reason, Type...approaching him.

“Hey Wat, how are you?” Boss calls as a greeting, clapping him on the shoulder.

Sarawat can’t dignify that with an honest response, so he brushes it off. “We are the last to perform. Wait for me.”

“Don’t worry. Go kill it, man!” Mann seems to be bursting to say something, and he nudges Type beside him. “I brought my BOYFRIEND to see too.”

Type smacks Mann with a look, but Mann is clearly too excited to care.

Sarawat quirks an eyebrow. He must have missed something in his haze the last week. If today goes well, he will be interested to learn more.

As if reading his mind, Boss leans in. “And Tine? Is he coming? Should I call him?”

Sarawat looks away, a twinge of pain hitting him at the sound of Tine’s name. “No...he will come.” He has to. He will. Sarawat has to believe that, or he won’t be able to take the stage at all. He looks up at Tine’s brother - of all people, Mann, why Tine’s brother?? - and asks, “Do you know where he is?”

“Oh? You’re the one in the relationship with him.”

Pleasant as always. Sarawat looks away, scratching his neck awkwardly. Has no one told Type? Not even Tine? Or is he just being a jerk?

...Tine will come, right?

Sarawat sighs.

~

Air leaves shortly after as the emcee, and the concert begins.

Ok, NOW Sarawat can describe his emotions: pure terror.

Why does his band have to be last?

CTRL-S lingers outside, listening to the other bands, but Sarawat doesn’t care the slightest about them or what they are doing. When Mil’s band gets announced, Sarawat leaves entirely and goes to the washroom for an unnecessarily long time, refusing to listen to a single note. Tine will not choose Mil, but if Mil thinks that there is even a chance, he will try anyway, and Sarawat might vomit. Or do something violent.

Sarawat just needs to play his song. He just needs the chance, this one chance, to get this out there. To tell Tine, to tell the entire world, how much he loves Tine, how he only loves Tine. He needs to make sure that Tine never doubts him again.

There was never anyone but Tine, and there never will be again.

Even if Tine doesn’t come...Sarawat swallows painfully...even if it really is over, there will still never be anyone but Tine.

Sarawat will wait for him.

He goes back to the practice room just in time, Temp and Earn are looking all over for him.

CTRL-S is next.

The weeks of rehearsals have paid off. Sarawat objectively knows that they are doing a great job, but he doesn’t feel it the way he usually does. Normally while on stage, he focuses only on his music, on what he’s doing, but today he scans the crowd constantly.

He can’t see Tine anywhere.

They finish their normal set and Temp addresses the crowd. “Thanks guys! Here comes the last song from us, and I’m gonna let someone perfect for the song take over my job.”

That was his cue, but Sarawat completely misses it, still scanning the crowd, even more terrified now.

Where is Tine??

Sarawat can’t see him anywhere! He is here right, he has to be here…

Temp grabs his arm, startling him, and directs him to the mic.

It’s time.

Sarawat takes centre stage, pulling Tine’s guitar on with the strap, still looking everywhere but nowhere in the sea of faces can he find the one that he needs the most.

He takes a deep breath and steels himself.

It’s time, and whether Tine is here or not, Sarawat is doing it.

“Tine.” Sarawat says into the mic. He never did come up with exactly what he was going to say, but now, somehow, he knows. The crowd falls silent. “I don’t know if you are listening...but I want you to know this.”

Sarawat takes a deep breath again. You could hear a pin drop as the crowd hangs on to his words.

“Ever since I knew you, this song has been stuck in my head. Sometimes it sounds nice...sometimes it sounds weird...but the song really makes me happy.” Just like Tine. The song IS Tine. Sarawat swallows.

“You need to know... I never confessed to Pam...because I only knew what love is when I met you.”

The crowd gasps and screams at that, girls squealing, and the spell is broken. Sarawat blinks, and looks down at Tine’s guitar. At least he has that with him. It’s the only guitar in the world capable of playing these chords for him.

“This song is called ‘Tine’.” He tells the crowd, then lets them cheer as he goes to plug in.

“Give him some support guys!” Air calls unnecessarily, as the crowd is still screaming and cheering. Sarawat fiddles with the plug, making his adjustments, checking the sound, then finally he is ready. He returns to centre stage, and the crowd quiets down in anticipation.

He starts the song.

It’s probably normal that you are nice to everyone
It’s not like I’m special
It’s funny how I take it too far
You must be so annoyed by me, right?
I apologise for misinterpreting
Can you please answer one question from me?
All these times, I just imagine all the things?
It’s all in my head?
I thought we were in love.
It’s all in my head?
Just tell me, I’m willing to accept it
Just tell me you never loved me

The song isn’t technically done, but Sarawat is...because he looks up, and suddenly Tine is there, right there, as if by magic, and Sarawat swallows, his throat closing up, his eyes prickling. Tine is walking toward the stage and the crowd parts for him like water, the buzz of excited whispers filling the air, but Sarawat can barely hear them. He walks toward the edge of the stage, dropping into a crouch as Tine reaches him, their eyes firmly fixed on each other.

Tine is looking at him again, and he doesn’t look angry or hurt...Tine is looking at him again, and he looks stunning.

“Will you trust me again?” Sarawat asks softly, his heart pounding so loud he’s sure everyone can hear it. “Please? Will you trust me again?”

Tine studies Sarawat’s face for a moment...a moment that seems to stretch into eternity, Sarawat’s heart still pounding in his ears, until finally, Tine speaks.

“I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t trust you, would I?”

A wave crashes over Sarawat, a wave of emotion so powerful that he physically sags under it, dropping his head in relief.

He did it.

Tine is grinning at him, and it’s like the sun has returned to his life after an eternity of darkness. Sarawat can’t see anyone or anything else except that smile, it’s blinding him but he never wants to look away.

Sarawat’s cheeks crack and he realises that he is beaming as well, and it hurts but that doesn’t matter.

Tine is here.

Tine came back.

Sarawat reaches into his jacket pocket and pulls out Tine’s bracelet - it has not left Sarawat’s possession since the day he found it on the desk. Tine watches him get it, then holds out his wrist, letting Sarawat slide it on and tighten it firmly.

“Don’t ever take it off again,” Sarawat tells Tine, who laughs.

Sarawat wants nothing more than to wrap his arms around Tine, to kiss him until he drops, right here and now...but his ears are slowly starting to work again, and the cheers and screams of the crowd remind him that they are literally in the most public place imaginable, with countless people likely recording them right now, and what Sarawat plans to do to Tine next is really better best saved for somewhere private.

Reluctantly, Sarawat nods at Tine, and points back to the stage. Tine nods back and Sarawat stands up with his band, who still needs to take a bow. Air is joined on stage with Dim, and they talk...something about how sweet that all was, but Sarawat isn’t listening, too eager to clear off the stage and get back into Tine’s presence. As soon as he stows his and Tine’s guitars safely, he rushes back into the swarm of people. Tine is immediately visible now, the only real person Sarawat even can see.

Dim and Air remind everyone that it is time to announce the winner and Sarawat starts, having almost forgotten that this was also an actual contest, with a prize and everything. His band worked so hard, even through his pain, and they deserve this. Then there is still the matter of Mil...though Sarawat doubts he would be so arrogant as to try anything now, a win for him would still be bitter.

None of that matters though, as CTRL-S is announced as the winner, and the next few moments pass in a fog of cheering, Sarawat actually cheering, throwing his arms around his band mates, offering high fives to everyone…

Even Tine, which makes them both laugh, and Tine throws his arm around Sarawat’s shoulders immediately after, hugging him close.

“The joy hasn’t ended yet!” Dim calls from the stage. “We have a big surprise for you. We have a special live show from a special band for everyone in here. Please welcome...SCRUBB!”

Tine grins, clapping in excitement, and Sarawat just watches in shock. If there was any way to make this day better, any icing on the cake, it is this right now.

~

Scrubb finishes and leaves the stage, Air announces the end of the event, and Sarawat brings Tine along to collect his instruments.

“Oh, I can wait for you here.” Tine says, but Sarawat has already started pulling him along.

He’s not letting Tine out of his sight.

He packs up his stuff, congratulates his band members again, then turns to Tine, standing right up close to him.

“Tine...can we go home?”

Tine beams at him. “Yes.”

Home…

They barely get the door closed before Sarawat has grabbed Tine’s face in his hands and is kissing him as if he will never stop.

He might not.

“Wat!” Tine gasps, pulling away for air finally. “Let’s at least get upstairs!”

Sarawat growls his frustration at having to wait even a moment longer, but Tine turns and starts to climb the stairs, so Sarawat scampers after him, grabbing him at the top and wrapping arms around him.

“Tine…” Sarawat presses a kiss to his shoulder, then pulls just his face back to peer at him. “I love you. And if you let me, I promise to spend the rest of my life proving it to you.”

Tine is blushing but he doesn’t look away.

“Will you let me?” Sarawat asks, looking closely at him.

“Yes.” Tine whispers.

“Yes?” Sarawat asks, raising an eyebrow.

“Yes!” Tine laughs. Sarawat grins and puts his head back into the crook of Tine’s neck, his heart ready to burst.

“I love you too,” Tine says softly, and Sarawat presses himself even more tightly into Tine’s arms.

This is where he belongs. This is where he will always belong.

With Tine...together.

Notes:

WHEW!!!! We made it!!!
I have to thank everyone who read, subscribed, commented...it made my entire day, every time I read one. To be honest, when I started writing this, I really didn't think many people would read it. I thought it would be pretty much just for myself, and I posted it expecting maybe a handful of views. My expectations have already been blown away!
This really was a labour of love. I spent weeks going through the series, copying lines exactly (or with slight grammatical corrections)...I wrote on a split screen, with my document on one side and the series on the other, analysing the characters' (especially Sarawat's, obviously) facial expressions, tone of voice, every slight action, making sure that my versions of them were as close to the actors' versions as possible. (I may also have fallen madly in love with Bright, the actor who plays Sarawat...that boy has THE most expressive eyes! But that's besides the point.) Going back through episodes, piecing the timeline together from Sarawat's perspective, making sure the new lines I added were in character and appropriate for the speaker...I can't even begin to guess how many hours I dedicated to it. I hope that my readers are satisfied with my choices and interpretation!
I finished writing this morning and decided to spend the rest of my day uploading all the chapters. Apologies to those subscribers who got a million notifications.
Thank you for reading, for falling in love with these characters, and for allowing me to explore them further with you.
-KanarNaskis

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