She cannot sleep that night, though it’s not strange. Alayne cannot sleep most nights. Her dreams are full of Joffrey Baratheon, Ned Stark’s rotting head, and images of the Red Wedding that she never attended. She sees her mother’s corpse floating down the river, her brother Robb with Grey Wind’s head, and the rivers flowing red with blood. She has to force herself not to scream after she awakens, and remind herself that she is Alayne Stone now. She has no relation to those people, the ones who haunt her dreams. She composes herself, or at least attempts to, as she slips out of her chambers and into the silent halls of the Eyrie.
She can be Sansa no longer, but at least she knows that Mya will be waiting for her.
The difference between Sansa and Alayne is that Sansa never would have given her virtue to a baseborn girl. Alayne has done exactly that, many times, and she plans to keep on doing so.
Alayne supposes that if she can’t be Sansa anymore, then she can let herself have what Sansa never did. Now she’s a bastard, not a highborn girl, and bastards are expected to be lustful. She’s just playing her part. Or that’s what she tells herself as Mya kisses her neck.
They break their kiss for a moment and Mya smiles at her with her seductive little half-smile. Mya is all rugged and boyish in her climbing clothing, and it suddenly strikes Sansa that she is stunning, beautiful in the way that wild things are. She is surprised that this did not occur to her earlier, when they started sleeping together, but she supposes that it’s better late than never.
It starts with a kiss, the way that it always does. The kiss deepens, and soon her fingers are digging into Mya’s coarse, black hair. Mya’s hands are running over her back, and eventually they find their way into her skirts. She starts running them against that spot that makes Alayne go crazy and she can hear herself moaning against Mya’s mouth.
“Gods, Mya,” she says in a breathless haze.
"Such filthy acts for a would-be septa," Mya whispers in her ear as she runs her fingers more quickly within her. This comment almost sends Alayne over the edge. She bucks her hips against her and kisses her more deeply, trying to milk as much pleasure out of the situation as she can. As Mya’s fingers move within her and her lips against her, Alayne can temporarily forget her fear, forget the looks her ‘father’ sends her that make her so uncomfortable.
Sex is a great escape for a bastard girl, and Mya is the best person for the job. Alayne doesn’t have to worry about any unwanted babes, or any spilled secrets because she and Mya do not share personal information. It’s lust that they consummate, not love, and she knows she will not have her heart broken, even though there is a part of her that still wants a love story (that wants one with Mya).
"Stupid, stupid girl," she tells herself, because those are Sansa's thoughts. Those thoughts are Sansa's, foolish Sansa who never understood the way of the world, who was the reason her father ended up loosing his head. She is Alayne Stone now, and her heart has hardened. Secrets and a sealed heart are all that Alayne has, that and sex, but she won’t lose her head without the last one, no matter how much she doesn’t want to give it up.
She spills with a scream, and Mya lets out a low, seductive laugh. Alayne kisses her again, deciding that this night she’s not ready to give her up.