That’s the only way I can describe it. It’s all gone. Everything I’ve known- worked towards- vanished in the blink of an eye. All because I thought I needed more.
Ms. Eve left in the middle of the summer, switching schools a week before camp and two months before school. Though without that I wouldn’t have Ms. North to stand beside me all these months. But in the beginning, it was hard to overcome.
Then Ms. Argon. That was to be expected. She needed to get away; escape the reminders and nightmares surrounding her here. After losing her son and all.
So the school year started. New teacher. New dynamics. Same old teammates. Same old problems. I warmed up to North quickly, though it took the others some time to warm up to her. But hey, not everything could be instantly perfect.
Guess the others never completely warmed up to her.
It was fine. Everything was the way it was supposed to; or at least, as close as it could come. I still had Nolan. I still had Percy. I had Easton too. Now I had Ms. Night. All those tears and fears of being alone were no longer existent.
Then I lost Brooklyn.
I don’t think anything was the same after that. I hurt her, more than I had ever hurt anyone in my entire existence. When she hurt me, I didn’t let it show. I simply kept it away until I was alone and hurt her more. The secure stone bridge we had been building for two years collapsed, taking my humanity down with it.
I don’t think I have ever regretted anything more in my life.
Everything finally collapsed the day the Editors fell apart. I couldn’t keep it in anymore; my anger, my pain; my feelings of betrayal and forgotten. I was tired of being hurt. I was done with being left behind. There was nothing more than I wanted in the world- I wanted to be accepted. To be their equal. To be seen .
But in the end, it was me who pushed them away. I tore apart our family and destroyed any hopes of even so much as taping it back together. It wasn’t them, it was me. Only me.
There’s nothing left to do. No one can repair any of this. All the fragments of my heart- Brooklyn, Yearbook, my Family- they have all been broken off. Torn and depleted of life.
In the end, there’s me: the girl who’s nothing more than a soulless shell.
And a piece of shattered, faded glass.