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That Don't Impress Me Much

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“So, these are our holding cells,” Jack explained in his best tour guide voice, showing Sarah the long row of glass doors securing small rooms cut in the natural bedrock. “We don’t have much in at the moment, but last week we had a Rimborian sea viper that would have curled your hair.”

“I’m sure it would have,” she answered, looking around without interest.

Okay, the lady was tough to impress. Next try.

“Our science labs are state of the art for about five centuries from now.” He led her through the lab, braving Toshiko’s withering glare. “We’re working on everything from integrated techno-organics to quantum molecular multi-phasic state analysis.” He grinned at her. “We even have a fully equipped xeno-forensics lab.”

Sarah ran her fingers along the workbench and held them up to study the dust there. “How very exciting,” she said as though talking to a kid who’d brought her a shiny used gum wrapper.

Dammit. What did it take to astonish her?

He tried the monitoring center next. “From here we have access to every CCTV network on the planet. Every city, every office, train station, stadium, school, shopping mall and street corner, right here, twenty-four hours a day. We can even watch the tables in Vegas if we want.”

“Do you get Planet Three?” This she directed to Ianto, who just glared at her.

Jack suppressed a growl of frustration.

The armory. There had to be something in the armory that would impress her. He opened locker after locker to reveal all the ordinance in an attempt to overwhelm her. “This is only part of the largest collection of intergalactic armaments ever assembled.” He pulled out a portable photon cannon and charged it, enjoying the sing of energy through it as he cradled it in his arms. “Hand to hand, slug throwers, energy blasters, even a planet cracker, although if I show you that, I’ll have to kill you.”

“Jack.” Shaking her head, she took the cannon away from him with a confidence that said it wasn’t the first one she had handled, setting it back in the rack before turning to him again. “You’re trying too hard. It’s sweet, really.” She slipped a finger between the elastic of his suspenders and his shirt front, sliding up and down the band, her knuckle brushing his chest. “But really, if you wanted to show me your manhood, you shouldn’t wear both braces and a belt.” With a smug grin of her own, she snapped the elastic hard enough to sting, then turned and sauntered out of the room.

“Hey!” Okay, he was really starting to like this woman. He thought for a moment, and then as an afterthought, he called after her, “Do you want to see my manhood?”

He was answered by distant laughter.