This is Why We Can't Have Nice Things

Chapter Text

Tenya Iida added Midoriya Izuku, Uraraka Ochako +17 to the chat!

Tenya Iida renamed the chat “1A”

(MOD) Tenya Iida: Hello, everyone! I thought it would be best if we had an unofficial group chat outside of the one with Aizawa-sensei for schoolwork—so we could have smoother communication. Momo and I are the mods, but we may add others to the role if the situation calls for it! Please be sure to reply to the chat sometime today so I’m sure I got all the contact information right.

Denki Kaminari: Oh sicc

Denki Kaminari has changed their name to “PikaPika”

PikaPika: ty Iida

(MOD) Tenya Iida: You’re welcome!

(MOD) Tenya Iida has changed their name to “Gotta Blast”

Yuuga Aoyama: ‘Cest magnifique!

Yuuga Aoyama: How do you change screennames?

PikaPika: Third down in the settings, nickname preferences!

Yuuga Aoyama: Merci!

Yuuga Aoyama has changed their name to “Ouran Protag”

PikaPika: You watch OHSHC?

Ouran Protag: but of course!

PikaPika: blonde French transfer with style . . . yeah it fits

PikaPika: does that make Iida Kyouya, but not an asshole?

Eijirou Kirishima has changed their name to “Crimson Riot Stan”

Crimson Riot Stan: thanks prez!

PikaPika: bro this is gonna be awesome

Crimson Riot Stan: bro

Mina Ashido has changed their name to “Alien Queen”

Hanta Sero has changed their name to “Sero(tonin)”

Kouji Kouda has changed their name to “Snow White”

PikaPika: too pure!

Snow White: ty!!!

Tooru Hagakure has changed their name to “Invisigirl”

Katsuki Bakugou has changed their name to “King Murder Explosion”

Red Riot Stan: smh bro

King Murder Explosion: If it can’t be my hero name, it will be my goddamn chat name

(MOD) Momo Yaoyorozu has change their name to “VP”

Tsuyu Asui has changed their name to “Kermit”

Kermit: since someone is going to do it to me later, I might as well do it myself

Ochako Uraraka has changed their name to “Elphaba”

Alien Queen: oh wait dope

Alien Queen has changed their name to “Galinda”

Izuku Midoriya has changed their name to “One Green Boi”

Mashirao Ojiro has changed their name to “Tailed Beast”

Rikidou Satou has changed their name to “Hangry”

Mezou Shouji has changed their name to “Catch These Hands”

Kyouka Jirou has changed their name to “Bluetooth”

Fumikage Tokoyami has changed their name to “Edgar Allan No”

Shouto Todoroki: I can’t think of a clever name. There are too many ridiculous ones. The only one I have is an inside joke elsewhere.

(MOD) VP: Aw, don’t worry, Todoroki! What were you thinking?

Shouto Todoroki: . . .

Shouto Todoroki has changed their name to “Endeavor Sucks”

Endeavor Sucks: It’s the name of my siblings’ group chat

Galinda: iM cRYinG???!!1

One Green Boi: he’s right and he should say it

Tailed Beast: jeez I thought Deku was a hero fanboy? And a nice one?

One Green Boi: I would throw hands with Endeavor

One Green Boi: I saw his last interview where he got asked about quirkless people and he called them some nasty things I hadn’t even heard of

One Green Boi: (my quirk came in abnormally late; people thought I was quirkless right up to the entrance exam, it was a Whole Thing)

One Green Boi: so tl;dr: Endeavor is an asshole

Endeavor Sucks: taking screencaps because my brother Natsuo loves having new recruits

Galinda: dying

Minoru Mineta: hm what if I went for something like

Minoru Mineta has changed their name to “baby”

(MOD) VP has renamed “baby” as “M*neta”

M*neta: wait why

(MOD) VP: you are not baby and no one is going to call you that

M*neta tried to change their name. This feature has been disabled!

M*neta: fuccc srlsy?

Galinda: get fucked, grape boy

(MOD) Gotta Blast: you can imagine my exasperated sigh as I say: can we not gang up on people, and can we also not sexually harass people? Is that a thing we can sort of agree on? Thanks

Elphaba: *shut up Mineta and we can’t set precedents of ganging up on specific people in the chat because that’s bullying in most cases

Gotta Blast: yes, thank you

Edgar Allan No: When is Present Mic’s next paper due?

PikaPika: there’s a paper due????

(MOD) Gotta Blast: it’s the poetry one he assigned at the end of Thursday’s class, Kaminari

(MOD) Gotta Blast: you really need to get a planner or calendar set up and just fill things in as they’re assigned

Bluetooth: you know what? On it. I have a bunch of reminders in my calendar app that I can just copy over to yours?

PikaPka: LIFESAVER

Crimson Riot Stan: but you still have to do the homework

PikaPika: FUCK

PikaPika: anyone want to help me with it? Will pay for snacks

Edgar Allan No: I’ll help; I actually put it off because I’ve read those before

PikaPika: Thank!

Edgar Allan No: welc

Sero(tonin): was anyone going to tell me bakugou’s good at everything

Sero(tonin): or was I supposed to find out he’s like an amazing chef by eating his cooking all by myself

King Explosion Murder: shut the fuck up

One Green Boi: oh no he’s just ridiculously talented and hardworking?

One Green Boi: He can sew, too, and I’m pretty sure he has straight a’s? And always has?

One Green Boi: basically he’s a ridiculously op anime protagonist

PikaPika: isn’t that Todoroki tho?

One Green Boi: I mean, aren’t we all?

One Green Boi: different genres of protag lol

One Green Boi: Kacchan’s just the ridiculously OP kind, specifically

Elphaba: I’m surprised that your immediate reaction was protagonist lol

One Green Boi: yeah despite us being “extras” he seriously earns his ego. He’s actually that good at stuff

One Green Boi: and we’d all be protags? Because we want to be heroes?

Sero(tonin): damn that means I have to figure out a way to get him to cook for us, like, all the time

Sero(tonin): I was hoping he just secretly watched an embarrassingly corny cooking show or smth

King Explosion Murder: I can read the chat soy sauce face

Sero(tonin): and I oop

Bakugou Katsuki >>>>> Midoriya Izuku

Katsuki: Deku

Izuku: What’s up Kacchan?

Katsuki: look

Katsuki: This has been a long time coming and what you said in the gc just put it in perspective more. I’m mostly typing this because trying to say it gets me too riled up to function.

Katsuki: im really fuckin sorry about what a shit I was over everything

Katsuki: You’re not fuckin useless. Not really. You never were. I was so stupid and entitled because I got a flashy quirk and a bunch of support. And you didn’t deserve an inch of what I made you go through. I have no idea why you thought you’d want to be such a shithead’s friend, but hey, you were.

Katsuki: And I got so angry that you kept dreaming about being a hero when I was working so hard at it? And you were just sitting there like the opportunity would drop into your lap, and I you were gonna get yourself killed that way

Katsuki: and, of course, the opportunity did, and surprise, you break your bones over it constantly, but from what you told me you had to kick ass to even remotely make that work

Katsuki: anyway

Katsuki: when I told you to jump off a roof that was

Katsuki: how did you fucking ignore that? Forgive it like it wasn’t the most awful bullshit? How can you stand to be anywhere near me?

Katsuki: don’t fuckin answer I’m not done I

Katsuki: f u c k

Katsuki: I’m so fucking sorry. And if you still want to be my friend for some stupid reason, I want you to know I’m not going to do that anymore. Shit, I’ll still be me, but that particular brand of shit is done.

Katsuki: that’s it

Izuku: I—that’s a lot, Kacchan.

Izuku: Of course I forgive you.

Izuku: I made that pretty obvious by not giving up on being your friend, right? And yeah, you were a bully. You said a lot of hurtful stuff. But you weren’t always like that, yeah?

Izuku: And despite calling me useless, you kept me around, for all the trouble I remember putting you through, and actions speak louder than words

Izuku: It was hard. I did actually think of jumping for a bit there, but

Izuku: Then I thought about how stupid it was. I was quirkless, but what would jumping accomplish? It’d break my mom’s heart, it would ruin you—and you had the capacity, I could see it even back then, to save a lot of people—and just.

Izuku: I had a lot of potential to save people, too. Even outside of being a pro. And the fact that stopping meant not helping anyone else ever again? It just felt selfish.

Izuku: If I could affect that many people negatively in a minute, how many more people could I affect in a good way later? Including myself?

Izuku: So I do forgive you. I even made Deku my hero name! Without you being, well, you, I wouldn’t be here.

Izuku: And yeah, I’ll admit I was a bit too focused on dreaming about hero work to actually put thought behind it—and I was too clingy when you clearly didn’t want me around, so yeah, that’s on me.

Katsuki: god I

Katsuki: I don’t deserve your fucking friendship no matter how sorry I am. I know that.

Izuku: it’s not about you deserving it? It’s about me being a person who made a choice

Izuku: because before I was diagnosed as quirkless, I’d always dreamed of us being heroes together, and I don’t want to lose that. Will you be my friend again, really? Because the kind of shit you put me through . . . you’d better be serious about this

Katsuki: hell yeah I am

Izuku: friends, then?

Katsuki: fuck. Yeah. friends.

Izuku: . . .

Izuku: they made a new season of the All Might cartoon we used to watch

Izuku: want to binge it this weekend?

Katsuki: bet

Bakuthots

Sharkboi: so did you talk to him?

Bomberanian: fuckin did and he forgave me

Bomberanian: which, you know, he really shouldn’t have, but that’s Deku

Powderpuff: and we’re proud of you for taking that step either way, Bakugou

Bondage: yeah! Honestly good for you

Charger: yeah man! Being able to look at what you’ve done and apologize and trying do better? You’re growing! And that’s something to look up to in a hero

Bomberanian: fucc

Bomberanian: thanks but also I have to skip Saturday; Deku and I are gonna binge Season 4 of All-Right-All-Might

Sharkboi: ooh dope! Have fun bro!

1A

Tailed Beast: UM

Ouran Protag: what’s happening?

Tailed Beast: I think I’m hallucinating?

Tailed Beast: Bakugou and Midoriya are laughing together

Tailed Beast: Am I in the twilight zone where they are Friends? Is it opposite day? Did they get hit by a quirk?

Tailed Beast: did I get hit by a quirk?

Crimson Riot Stan: they’ve known each other forever dude

Gotta Blast: I was under the impression they had a falling out, though

Crimson Riot Stan: there was reconciliation recently, according to bakubro

Invisigirl: AH

Invisigirl: that means we can grill them for kid pics. Imagine baby Midoriya. Imagine baby Bakugou.

Invisigirl: fuck can we spam the chat so Bakugou doesn’t see

King Explosion Murder: Too late bitch

Invisigirl: welp gotta hide byyyyye

One Green Boi: Kirishima’s right! Things were very shitty between us, but we settled it!

Elphaba: I’m glad to hear that!

One Green Boi: also @Invisigirl tinyexplosion.png

Invisigirl: SO CUTE

King Explosion Murder: fuck you deku

King Explosion Murder: smallfanboy.png

Elphaba: I’M CRYING DEKU

Elphaba: SO. SMALL? SO CUTE???

Ouran Protag: So I was thinking about everyone’s hero names right

Ouran Protag: since Midnight-sensei said we’d be picking them out after the sports festival, and we all had a pretty good idea

Ouran Protag: and neither Bakugou nor Todoroki really have . . . hero names.

King Murder Explosion: SHUT YOUR FUCK

Endeavor Sucks: Look until I find something better than “Icyhot” you’re just gonna have to chill

Catch These Hands: I mean, not wrong

Bluetooth: “Murder” doesn’t necessarily sound heroic, which was probably the point. To be fair, Grape Juice doesn’t either, but I wasn’t in charge of the veto, and technically we can change them right until our debut

One Green Boi: Well, Kacchan could look into different bomb-related terms? His moves are named after various types of explosives, so there might be something interesting there.

Elphaba: Detonator? Countdown?

PikaPika: I have an idea!

King Murder Explosion: I’m not calling myself any version of mushroom cloud, idiot

PikaPika: I no longer have an idea!

Crimson Riot Stan: yo but looking into nuclear bomb terms might be interesting, since that’s one of the most powerful possible explosions

Bluetooth: what about Ground Zero? It’s the point just above/below a nuclear impact

Crimson Riot Stan: brooo that sounds dope

Sero(tonin): Explosion Hero: Ground Zero

King Murder Explosion:

King Murder Explosion: you extras are useful for something I guess. I’ll talk to Midnight about it.

(MOD) VP: which just leaves Todoroki! I understand having a placeholder, but your first name . . . ?

Endeavor Sucks: Literally try and tell me anything that isn’t a dumb pun? I’ve tried

King Murder Explosion: well you do make it easy

(MOD) Gotta Blast: It’s also hard to do something that isn’t incredibly literal, like “burning ice”

Elphaba: OH WAIT HOLD UP

Elphaba: while I was thinking of ideas for mine I was looking up space things and do you know what a comet is?

Elphaba: a ball of burning ice!

Endeavor Sucks: that sounds . . . good, actually. I’ll also be talking to Midnight after class today

Endeavor Sucks

Smol Zuko: So my class helped me pick out a hero name today

#2 Hawks Stan: duuuude ok ok was it Katy Perry related

Smol Zuko: no

Smol Zuko: and it wasn’t Zuko or anything like that either

Teacher Voice: ooh that’s awesome Shouto! What’d you pick?

Smol Zuko: “The Burning Ice Hero: Comet”

Smol Zuko: Uraraka was talking about how she’d looked up space-related names with her zero-gravity quirk and how comets are essentially ice/dust that burns so

Smol Zuko: the space-theme continues, Touya

Large Zuko: Noice

Smol Zuko: uh

Large Zuko: shit Keigo needs to stop stealing my phone for this chat I stg

Large Zuko: but yeah congrats Sho on picking a not-shitty name

Large Zuko: space phenomena solidarity and all that

#2 Hawks Stan: aw come on you know it would have been dope. The Temperature Hero Duo, Thermostat and Thermometer

Teacher Voice: never speak again Natsuo

Teacher Voice: Sauna and AC were your first attempts, and they’ve only gotten worse

#2 Hawks Stan: gasp! My own flesh and blood! The betrayal!

Smol Zuko: pretty sure any of the teachers at UA would adopt you, no questions. We’d finally be rid of you

#2 Hawks Stan: shut

Crimson Riot Stan: yooo who’s ready

Crimson Riot Stan: Sports Festival HYPE

One Green Boi: oh definitely! I’ve watched it every year so being on it is pretty amazing

One Green Boi: ah but the opening rounds are always different! I’m guessing they’re based on class events, now that I think about it

PikaPika: o shit u right

PikaPika: it always just felt like random challenges, but most of them are familiar now

Galinda: because I’m nosy as fucc and Jirou occasionally helps me with that, I got a hand on some old recordings of festivals with our teachers. Who wants to watch teenage Aizawa fight in the common room?

Sero(tonin): HECK yeah

PikaPika: so dope yes apparently he was in the same class as present mic and Midnight sensei so it should be really interesting???

Hangry: I’ll grab snacks for everyone

Galinda: did

Galinda: did I just see that?!

Sero(tonin): does Erasermic is gay?

Galinda: Aizawa Just Kissed Present Mic On The Mouth

Galinda: in front of my salad, on tv, in high school, at the Sports Festival

Galinda: “Hizashi, I love you, but I gotta win this”

Invisigirl: oh they’re married

Galinda: FOR REAL?

Invisigirl: ya I overheard them talking when I probably wasn’t supposed to a couple of times and Confirmed™

(MOD) Gotta Blast: was

(MOD) Gotta Blast: was this not common knowledge??

Galinda: no

Sero(tonin): no

Ouran Protag: no

(MOD) Gotta Blast: huh

(MOD) Gotta Blast: so they had a western style ceremony in America, because Mic loved the idea and Aizawa couldn’t say no

(MOD) Gotta Blast: and I was the ringbearer because my older brother is their close friend

Elphaba: WHAT OMG

Invisigirl: no no I can see it

Invisigirl: tiny Iida in a suit, determined not to drop the rings, very serious

Invisigirl: tensei iida: this is a very important mission

Invisigirl: our Iida: immediately squares up

(MOD) Gotta Blast: . . . I can neither confirm nor deny

Elphaba: aslkdfj

Elphaba: that’s amazing

King Explosion Murder: okay wtf was that class 1b bullshit

PikaPika: idek but that General Studies kid? Hella cute

Galinda: !!!!

King Explosion Murder: Eh, not my type

Galinda: I didn’t know you liked guys, kami?

PikaPika: hi, I’m denki, I’m a disaster nonbinary pansexual, never made a decision in my life, next question

Galinda: omg what are your pronouns? Have I been misgendering? Sorry if so!!!

PikaPika: nah he/him/they/them are good; I prefer they/them more often than not but he/him is fine

Sero(tonin): oh

Sero(tonin): shit sorry Kami hit send before I finished typing. Will use they/them from here on out bro (is bro ok?)

PikaPika: haha yeah bro is fine I lean more masculine anyway

Crimson Riot Stan: !!!!

Crimson Riot Stan: Bro!!! That’s so awesome! You’re hella valid

PikaPika: *clenches fist* I would die for kirishima

Kermit: wouldn’t we all?

Kermit: also part of the they/them/she/her squad, very lesbian/demisexual

PikaPika: You too tsu?! HECK

Gotta Blast: I’m so glad our class has become close enough that you feel comfortable sharing these things! Know that you have my support whenever you need it!

PikaPika: I would also die for Iida

Gotta Blast: please don’t

Sero(tonin): Iida: ultimate dad friend

M*neta: whoa wtf kami

Sero(tonin): excuse?

PikaPika: wdym?

M*neta: wtf. What do you mean you’re obviously a guy. And what, you’re gay too?

King Murder Explosion: learn to fucking read you fucked up raisin

King Murder Explosion: “pansexual” and “nonbinary” are the terms he used the fuck do you think you’re saying?

M*neta: lol those aren’t real things

M*neta: I can’t fuckin believe you lied to me Kami, what, did you want a look at all the guys in the changing room or something?

(MOD) Gotta Blast has kicked M*neta.

(MOD) Gotta Blast has archived M*neta’s messages.

(MOD) Gotta Blast: Along with various recorded reports, we probably have enough evidence to kick him out of the entire school, much less the hero course itself. Sorry to everyone who had to endure that.

(MOD) VP: oh wow

(MOD) VP: I just got on and wow. Thank you, Iida for doing the Lord’s work!

(MOD) VP: lord, meaning principal N, because all he has to do at this point is inform admin and file everything before booting the little bastard

Class Reps and Teachers (Don’t Know What They’re Doing Either)

1ida: @all

1ida: minoruminetaevidence.zip

1ida: can we please expel him

Insomniac: wtf why are you texting at this hour

Insomniac: oh

Scree: FINALLY

Scree: he gave off the Creep Vibe but that’s not enough for us to do anything

Momo: ya I get that girls not liking him was not enough either, so Evidence

Insomniac: @GiantRatWhoMakesAllOfTheRules

GiantRatWhoMakesAllOfTheRules: Paperwork will be cleared and we’ll have the exit meeting tomorrow morning. Please have Mineta pack up all of his things tonight, Shouta.

Insomniac: And the replacement option we talked about?

GiantRatWhoMakesAllOfTheRules: We’ll talk over it—the Sports Festival will be a good indicator of his ability level. I know you’re fair, but the public doesn’t

Momo: as long as it’s not that monoma kid from 1b; he was very rude and actually might get hives from joining 1a for all he hates us

1A

Endeavor Sucks: is anyone allergic to cats here

(MOD) VP: nope! I checked the allergy listings for the class; I assume there’s a reason for asking?

Endeavor Sucks: so I found a cat

Endeavor Sucks: kit.png

Endeavor Sucks: she may be pregnant but she’s kinda young? I asked Aizawa and he said it was fine. I’ll keep her in my dorm room just in case

Snow White: （⌒▽⌒ゞ

Snow White: o(〃＾▽＾〃)o

Endeavor Sucks: Oh of course you can pet her!

One Green Boi: You don’t have to shut her in on my account, that’s for sure!

(MOD) Gotta Blast: nor mine! Do you have a name for her yet?

Endeavor Sucks: still deciding. I’m worried about if she has kittens? How to take care of her and them—I’ve never had a pet before

Snow White: d(-_^) <3

Endeavor Sucks: thank you, Kouda, that means a lot!

King Explosion Murder: luckily cats are more self-sufficient than dogs for the most part

King Explosion Murder: you just need a litter pan, food, water, and a space for her to sleep (though rlly they’ll sleep anywhere)

King Explosion Murder: probably some specialty food for when the kittens come but other than that, she’ll probs take care of herself

Endeavor Sucks: uh wow

Endeavor Sucks: thanks, bakugou.

Chapter Text

1A

PikaPika: today’s adventure in: I’m a disaster gay

Galinda: we been knew

PikaPika: rood

PikaPika: but also consider that this class is too damn attractive for my heart to handle. Like. Girls? Boys? It’s too much.

One Green Boi: as an anxious bi I concur

PikaPika: see here’s the problem with that statement:

PikaPika: “today’s adventure” consists of you and kirishima this morning being both Incredibly Soft and Stupidly Hot. I can’t deal

Elphaba: same

Elphaba: seriously tho

PikaPika: kiri: I heard you were moving furniture in your room bro. need help?

PikaPika: deku: oh I’ll help if you need it too!

PikaPika: me, believing these two are Too Pure: of course dudes!

PikaPika: me, two minutes later as each of them lift a desk and a bed one-handed each, realizing that they wouldn’t even need to bench press me to be challenged but could

PikaPika: me: oh. Oh no.

PikaPika: they’re hot

Crimson Riot Stan: AAAH bro

Crimson Riot Stan: you gotta realize you’re really strong too? Deku and I have really strength-based quirks, but we’re all training to be strong!

One Green Boi: and you’re honestly really good-looking kami, don’t short yourself!

PikaPika: my heart can’t take this

Catch These Hands: Yeah most of the class is really attractive, and it is a problem

Catch These Hands: I Have Too Many Crushes

PikaPika: Shouji, you understand me.

PikaPika: and don’t you two brush of the fact that you are stupidly attractive and kind like

PikaPika: it is such a perfect storm and so hot

One Green Boi: !!!!

Crimson Riot Stan: bro

King Explosion Murder: can this not be a thirst chat please

PikaPika: it’s a fact that everyone looks good in this class and they need to know it

King Explosion Murder: yes but can you fucking pm them about it I stg

Crimson Riot Stan: it’s not a thirst chat! Besides, you’re included in the “everyone” bakubro!

King Explosion Murder:

King Explosion Murder: thanks fucking shitty hair

King Explosion Murder: just don’t want any of you idiots to get in deep shit getting nsfw bc screenshots are a bitch

PikaPika: I think there’s a lot of stuff we’d get in trouble first for but yeah np

Edgar Allan No: I appreciate it too, Bakugou

Edgar Allan No: Mineta made me and Dark Shadow very uncomfortable; I’m asexual and when it got too graphic I had to ignore the chat

Edgar Allan No: since he’s been gone no one has pushed any boundaries, though, which I appreciate

Galinda: Tokoyami! Thank you for sharing with us! I’ll try to keep the thirst down, but feel free to call me out, I know I can get a bit crazy haha

Edgar Allan No: Thank you, I will

Bakuthots

Powderpuff: okay Kami you know what? You were super brave to come out to the whole class

Charger: I? Wasn’t? I did it without thinking?

Powderpuff: no but like. I’m bi and having a very hard time about sharing it, and I know we’re different people etc but seriously

Powderpuff: I’m p much terrified and now Tokoyami came out too and I just don’t know what to do

Bomberanian: chill pink

Bomberanian: who you want to like/do is literally only your business and the person you’re with’s business, not the class’s

Bomberanian: you wanna tell them? Tell them. You don’t want to? Don’t.

Bondage: oh you’re bi Mina? Awesome!

Charger: which is why we work well together, as the disasters we are.

Powderpuff: okay fair but like

Powderpuff: I always felt like I had to put on a front of straight, feminine, standard star student etc to for people to think well of me

Powderpuff: and I know that’s not the only thing that matters! But how I express myself just looks like it does and idk if it’s Me or if it’s what people expect of me and I’ve just gotten used to it

Sharkboi: I know we weren’t good friends in middle school mina but? You’re just a lot more personable in general and that’s why people hang out with you?

Sharkboi: Like, you could have been the GSA president and completely punk and masculine and people still would have fawned over you because you’re cool as a person

Sharkboi: the aesthetic is what people that meet you at first see, but we’ve known you long enough to know you’re more than that

Powderpuff: !!!! Kiri!!! Thank you!!

Sharkboi: just stating facts!

Powderpuff: wth weren’t we friends in middle school? You’re literal sunshine.

Sharkboi: weak/unimpressive quirk and lack of confidence in social situations?

Bomberanian: WHOMST THE FUCK CALLED YOU WEAK HUH

Bomberanian: I’LL FIGHT THEM

Sharkboi: heh idk bakubro a lot of people?

Bondage: WTF ME TOO I’LL FIGHT

Sharkboi: bro pls

Charger: KIRISHIMA PROTECTION SQUAD

Charger has changed the name of the chat “Bakuthots” to “Kirishima Protection Squad”

Powderpuff: I didn’t know you were bullied??

Powderpuff: I’ll fugkin fight them

Sharkboi: I’m crying guys pls

Sharkboi: don’t fight anyone ok

Sharkboi: I know I’m strong now! I don’t need validation from people not willing to see that! Sure it would have been nice to have more friends back then, but it doesn’t matter now because I have all of you!

Charger: yet again:

Charger: *clenches fist* I would die for Kirishima

Sharkboi: bro

Bomberanian: same

1A

PikaPika: ok ok so everyone’s leaving their phones in lockers until they get disqualified so we don’t spread shit we shouldn’t right?

Edgar Allan No: that’s the agreement. Good luck, everyone.

Tailed Beast: @One Green Boi can we talk a sec?

Tailed Beast: oh fuck his phone’s in his locker I forgot

Tailed Beast: I told him how the fucking quirk works and what does he do

Tailed Beast: the opposite of what he fucking needed to

Invisigirl: ?

Tailed Beast: gen ed kid’s quirk is brainwashing. If you answer his question, he can command you.

Kermit: Yikes.

Kermit: oh wow looks like Deku was able to resist it after all huh

Bluetooth: Y’know, I worry about Todoroki. I mean, great quirk display, but that was . . . harsh.

Hangry: @Endeavor Sucks do you need to uh talk?

Hangry: also @Sero(tonin) I’ll hook you up with hot chocolate if you want

Sero(tonin): PLEASE TY

Invisigirl: oh kami

Invisigirl: please tell me you’re not underestimating

Invisigirl: a plant girl who can pretty much negate your quirk

Tailed Beast: hate to break it to you Tooru

Invisigirl: *large, aggravated sigh*

Sero(tonin): wooooow

Sero(tonin): that is . . . one way to advertise, I guess

Bluetooth: honestly I do want to talk with her about a few modifications to my hero suit now

Hangry: what I don’t get is why she can do the support item thing when literally no one but support class can use them

Hangry: a lot of our quirks have limits or detriments that support items help mitigate

Hangry: like, I’m legit concerned for Aoyama in these matches

Hangry: (no offense)

Catch These Hands: It does concern me, too, and I’m glad I didn’t make it to this round just yet. Aoyama’s strong, but there’s a reason we use support items smh

Catch These Hands: I understand the school’s “plus ultra” attitude but it’s still concerning, health and safety wise

Snow White: （⌒▽⌒）

Tailed Beast: right? Like with the entrance exams, it’s all the flashy quirks that get the big point values, even with rescue points taken into account

Tailed Beast: I know I had a low score despite my training because of that

Ouran Protag: no offense taken, mon ami!

Ouran Protag: perhaps we should petition the school on these matters so we can work to the best of our abilities more safely?

Hangry: I’d definitely sign a petition on that

Hangry: daaaamn Tokoyami nice

PikaPika: finally backc I’m a lttle loopy but not bad

(MOD) VP: oh I definitely agree, Shouji, Aoyama! I’d be willing to speak with faculty on it for sure. Especially for safety reasons. Though that doesn’t seem to be an issue with Kiri here

Ouran Protag: it is interesting that two people with very similar quirks made it into different classes

PikaPika: *kiri voice* so manlyyy

PikaPika: *discount kiri voice* verrty mamnly

Hangry: are they actually going to run the clock down???

Catch These Hands: would not surprise me

Catch These Hands: a n a r m w r e s t l i ng m a t c h

Invisigirl: lol don’t be salty Shouji

(MOD) VP: ooh this should be interesting!!!

Snow White: Ｏ(≧▽≦)Ｏ

PikaPika: on one hand, I rly want Bakugou to win

PikaPika: on the other, I have Underdog Support Feels for Uraraka

Catch These Hands: she is pretty smart; there might be some plan she’s come up with

Invisigirl: like one of the many strategies Deku is muttering about behind me?

Catch These Hands: exactly

Hangry: but also consider: Bakugou is incredibly smart too

Hangry: he's number 1 as far as grades go or close to it

(MOD) VP: True. It’s incredibly hard to handle nitroglycerin and he does it with precision constantly.

Sero(tonin): daaamn uraraka come on. You can’t keep doing the same thing over and over again and expect different results

Hangry: maybe trying to wear him out? He only has so many charges right?

Bluetooth: do you

Bluetooth: do you not see?

PikaPika: see what?

Bluetooth: nvm just wait for it

Serotonin:

Sero(tonin): oooooh

Catch These Hands: holy shit uraraka

Kermit: uraraka has all of my uwus

Kermit: uwuraka

PikaPika: HOLY SHIT BAKUBRO

Hangry: damn uraraka’s still trying

Bluetooth: if she had more physical strength training going for her she probably could have won tho. There’s no way he had another big blast like that ready without his gauntlets

Catch These Hands: maybe the reason they don’t allow support items is so we don’t destroy the stadium

Bluetooth: technically if he were directionally challenged he still could have

Catch These Hands: fair

Catch These Hands: another reason I’m glad Bakugou is good at what he does

PikaPika: Manly: Part 2

Hangry: this may take a while anyone want me to grab snacks?

(MOD) VP: yes please! Water bottles and popcorn for me, I’ll pay you back!

Bluetooth: same

Hangry: I’m just gonna grab a few large popcorns waters for everyone and a few sugary things that okay? Whoever eats can just pay me a few yen each; I’m not picky since today’s a big day

PikaPika: you are god satou

Bluetooth: I was out in the hall for a hot second and a reporter just asked me what I thought Bakugou should be punished with for beating Uraraka

Bluetooth: I was like, first of all, what? He beat her fair and square, and it was a close match, what, did they think he should go easy on her because she’s a girl?

Bluetooth: which was lowkey what they were implying

Bluetooth: then I was like second of all, what the hell? We’re all trying our best to win out there, he’s not gonna give up or half-ass anything

Sero(tonin): whoa thanks for standing up for him jirou!

Bluetooth: just speaking the Truth

Bluetooth: also didn’t like how they were downplaying Uraraka’s power in that match

PikaPika: YEAH KIRI YOU BEAT DISCOUNT YOU

PikaPika: so much hype

Elphaba: KICK HIS ASS DEKUUUU

Elphaba: oh and just got back from Recovery Girl, thanks Jirou!

Bluetooth: np!

PikaPika: congrats on a dope match uraraka! That was crazy!

Catch These Hands: agreed

Elphaba: still didn’t win, but now I know how much further I have to push!

Kermit: Bakugou did look pretty focused; didn’t even yell all that much at you. He took you seriously

Elphaba: *blush* well, I still have a lot to learn and a lot to do!

PikaPika: holy fuckgin shit

PikaPika: is Mido gonna break ALL of his bones?

Kermit: Todoroki’s freezing up, look

Kermit: ugh Endeavor shouting. I think I see a bit why Todoroki’s screenname is what it is

Elphaba: hooooly

Hangry: yeah uh what

(MOD) VP: that is terrifying and Midoriya is definitely heading to Recovery Girl after this match

Bluetooth: He really should have just beaten Todoroki’s ice, but he kept egging him on. Maybe it has to do with how tense they were before they started? I know he declared war, but wow

Hangry: I guess we’ll see at some point?

Elphaba: after Iida’s match I’m gonna check on him

Elphaba: You know, that was fast, and I shouldn’t have expected less, given his quirk

Elphaba: but sometimes you just forget someone’s abilities when you know how much of a goof they can be

Bluetooth: too true

(MOD) VP: I wonder if Dark Shadow can even be affected by some quirks?

One Green Boi: Dark Shadow’s strength is mostly affected by light/darkness, so it would depend on time of day and the quirk. There might be trouble with a light emitter quirk? Though clearly Dark Shadow is solid to some degree and can affect surroundings, so the damage threshold is there, I’d have to ask Tokoyami

Kermit: you’re muttering in the chat, Midoriya

One Green Boi: Oh sorry!

Elphaba: AND WHILE YOU’RE HERE

Elphaba has changed One Green Boi’s name to “Bone Hurting Juice”

Bone Hurting Juice: you know what

Bone Hurting Juice: fair

Elphaba: how are you even typing

Bone Hurting Juice: voice to text is pretty good on my phone

Elphaba: smh

PikaPika: @Galinda @Sero(tonin) who are you cheering for?

Galinda: Kirishima, obviously

Sero(tonin): Bakugou

Bone Hurting Juice: It’s definitely going to be an interesting match! Kirishima’s got an ultimate defence and Bakugou’s got an ultimate offence; it depends on how each of them utilize it!

Elphaba: Deku you could take Present Mic’s place in the box lol

Bone Hurting Juice: nah I don’t have that brand of charisma

(MOD) VP: what brand do you have?

Bone Hurting Juice: fleeting with bad timing

(MOD) VP: understandable

Sero(tonin): WHOA Kirishima’s got him on defense? That’s crazy!

Galinda: he knew Bakugou would expect defense only and would eventually wear him down

Galinda: our boy ain’t no coward

PikaPika: shit Bakugou figured him out

PikaPika: it was still a great match though!

Elphaba: HYPE but also I feel like Todoroki is going to win

Galinda: Iida is one of the few that I’d say has a shot, though

Galinda: like

Galinda: If he can get a hit in before the ice forms in a way that blocks him?

Bone Hurting Juice: Yeah it’s possible, but just one hit isn’t enough

Galinda: and . . . damn. You were right. Still, Todoroki’s a powerhouse; just lasting long against him is pretty impressive at this point

Who let us graduate UA

Birb: holy shit @sanic

Calcifer: what happened?

Calcifer: oh shit. Tensei you’d better be okay. @sanic I’ll be at the hospital in a few; I’ll keep you updated, Keigo

Birb: Thanks babe

Izucrew

Iidad: Can you meet me at Izuku’s room in the infirmary @You’ll Float Too? I’ve got to tell you both something

You’ll Float Too: Omw!

1A

(MOD) Gotta Blast: I’m afraid I have to leave early. My brother is in the hospital after being injured in a villain attack; I told Midoriya and Uraraka about it before I left, so you may ask them any further questions until I come back.

Crimson Riot Stan: Yikes take care Iida!

(MOD) VP: We all wish your brother well!

PikaPika: wow Bakugou’s not letting up huh

Elphaba: not like he has a choice lol; Dark Shadow could throw him out if he doesn’t stop

Bone Hurting Juice: yeah, he’s definitely figured out Dark Shadow’s weakness

Catch These Hands: how do you figure?

Bone Hurting Juice: notice how bright his explosions are getting? His hands are glowing from the ignition more than normal

Bone Hurting Juice: much as he’d hate to admit it, he grew up with me, he knows how to analyze a quirk

PikaPika: two powerhouses, two very different personalities - this is going to be interesting

Bone Hurting Juice: big yikes Endeavor getting in Todoroki’s head

(MOD) VP: oof he’s not using his fire again. That’s gotta sting for Bakugou

Bone Hurting Juice: what was your first clue, the blasts or the yelling?

Elphaba: come on, Todoroki wth

Hangry: this is getting as intense as your match Midoriya

Bone Hurting Juice: was it really that crazy?

PikaPika: yes

Elphaba: yes

Bluetooth: yes

Catch These Hands: yes

Bone Hurting Juice: ok ok I get it

Hangry: yes

Hangry: damn too late lol

Bone Hurting Juice: still Bakugou’s not gonna be happy that I got Todoroki to use his all and he didn’t. he’ll see it as him not taking him seriously enough

(MOD) VP: You said Endeavor got into Todoroki’s head before the match? Maybe explaining a bit of the circumstances—nothing substantial—will keep Bakugou from being to upset?

Bone Hurting Juice: @Crimson Riot Stan dm me and see if you can keep him from going on a tirade? He tends to calm down with you I just aggravate him more

Crimson Riot Stan: you two are getting better, but I gotchu

Kirishima Eijirou >>>>> Midoriya Izuku

Kirishima: obvi it’s Todoroki’s business, but what should I tell Bakubro, in general?

Midoriya: honestly that it’s not his fault Todoroki wasn’t in the headspace to use fire? That a talk from me isn’t going to undo shitty father syndrome

Kirishima: yeah ok I can work with that. Plus mental state is a part of how a person is in a fight. I’m gonna go talk to him

Midoriya: Thanks Kirishima! You’re really good for him y’know?

Kirishima: Thanks bro!

Bakugou was shouting as the teachers pinned him down, which, okay, no. Kirishima plowed through the tight space in the hall and met Bakugou’s eyes before shaking his head.

“Let him go! He’s not going to hurt anyone!”

“Kirishima, please step away,” Vlad King said, which, no.

“He doesn’t have a protective quirk like mine, and you’re gonna leave bruises,” he said firmly, which shut the teacher up. Everyone backed away from Bakugou.

“That wasn’t a win!” he growled.

“It was, but not for the reasons you wanted,” Kirishima said. “It’s not your fault Todoroki has messed up thoughts about his fire, and it’s not his fault that one pep talk from Midoriya wasn’t enough to permanently fix whatever his issues are with his dad.” Bakugou scoffed, but his chest wasn’t heaving from heavy breathing, and he wasn’t lunging to get away.

“Tch. Fine, you’re right, Deku isn’t a miracle worker. Still gonna have a rematch with Icyhot at some point, even if it’s not today.”

“Yeah,” Kirishima nodded. “And you’ll be even stronger then, too! Besides, if a villain loses to you because he’s afraid of explosions, it’s still saving people when you win that, right? So it’s still a win here!”

Bakugou looked like he wanted to disagree, but he nodded.

“I’m not going to wear the medal. It still doesn’t feel like a fucking win,” he said. The staff tensed, but All Might nodded.

“Perhaps you could hold it up, present it to the audience? Because you certainly didn’t lose that match, and young Todoroki certainly did.”

Bakugou frowned for a moment or two before nodding. He then clasped a hand on Kirishima’s shoulder.

“Thanks, shitty hair.” The place where the hand was felt warm, even as Bakugou went to present the award. Kirishima blushed and headed back to his seat, trying very hard not to think about what that meant.

Chapter Text

1A

Bone Hurting Juice: hey everyone I’m going to stream the 2^nd year and 3^rd year festival events in the common room now that I’m out of the infirmary

Bone Hurting Juice: anyone too tired to actually go to the stadium but still wants to see the matches feel free to join!

Sero(tonin): @Hangry @King Explosion Murder want to be in charge of food?

King Explosion Murder: Who’s got food restrictions?

Snow White: !!!

(MOD) VP: right, Kouda is vegetarian! Not vegan though, so milk/egg/honey products are fair game!

Kermit: almond allergy

King Explosion Murder: got it. Making yaki onigiri for everyone w/veg filling

Hangry: I’ll make chocolate chip cookies, no nuts!

Endeavor Sucks: I’ll bring drinks

PikaPika: dude you sure? I can split it if you want

Endeavor Sucks: using father’s credit card, not my own allowance, it’s fine

PikaPika: lit

(MOD) VP: you sure that’s okay, Todoroki? I didn’t know you had access to your father’s card

Endeavor Sucks: neither does he

Endeavor Sucks: but that’s kinda the point of me using his card for random medium-to-large purchases

Endeavor Sucks: just enough to be annoying; not enough for him to yell at me about

Galinda: not pressuring or prying at all but why do you dislike your dad so much? It seems to really affect you and I don’t want to trigger anything bad by accident

Endeavor Sucks: ah well

Endeavor Sucks: you all saw how I was at the sports festival so I guess I might as well

(MOD) VP: You don’t have to! We’re just worried

Endeavor Sucks: no, it’s fine, I already told Midoriya in person most of it and might as well get it off my chest so I can deal later

Endeavor Sucks: hold on ‘cause this is going to take a minute

Endeavor Sucks: so while Quirk Marriages are definitely illegal, you can get away with it if you have enough money/clout. Enter: my father wanting a powerful successor

Endeavor Sucks: So he marries my mom and they start having kids. Touya, my eldest brother, had hotter fire quirk than even my father—so hot that his flames were either white or blue.

Endeavor Sucks: He trained him (while trying for another kid) hard from a young age and Touya often had burns he shouldn’t have had. My sister Fuyumi has a small frost quirk and my brother Natsuo is quirkless. Then I was born. I think Touya disappeared when I was two or three, but whenever it was, it was close to when my quirk manifested.

Endeavor Sucks: As far as I’m told, he went to the hospital to be treated for burns, lost control of his quirk, and ran away after. Father ignored Fuyumi and Natsuo for the most part to train me then. And my Mom couldn’t stand him and what he did to Touya. My left side looks a lot like Father.

Endeavor Sucks: When I was six, mom had a panic attack in the kitchen at seeing me and poured a boiling teakettle on my face. She froze it right away once she’d come to her senses, which saved my sight, but obviously left a scar. Dad had her put into a psychiatric ward after that. Fuyumi still has dinners with Dad because she thinks he’s trying to be better. she’s a school teacher, and Natsuo’s studying to be a doctor

Endeavor Sucks: so while yes, he’s the #2 hero for a good reason—how strong he is—I still got trained by him from the age of three with the expectation that I would be #1 one day in his place

Endeavor Sucks: hence my sibling group chat and my screen name being what it is, and why my not using fire has been A Thing

PikaPika: uh

PikaPika: wow

(MOD) VP has changed the chat name from “1A” to “Endeavor Sucks Redux”

(MOD) VP: I’m so sorry Shouto. I know we only sort of knew each other as kids, but I had no idea what your family was going through

Catch These Hands: For all you declared war and didn't come to make friends, all I want to do is hug you right now. Can I do that?

Endeavor Sucks: . . . yeah, I’d like that.

Elphaba: It’s Todoroki hugging hours everyone meet in the common room and then we’re just going to watch our senpais decimate each other and eat delicious food!

Endeavor Sucks has changed their name to “Zuko”

Zuko: now my name matches in all my group chats

Sero(tonin): omw and I’ve got so many pillows and blankets I’m dragging down here

Galinda: thanks Sero!

King Explosion Murder: food’s almost done I’m reading up

King Explosion Murder: what the fuck icyhot

King Explosion Murder: now I just want to punch him more than you

Zuko: thanks, Bakugou

King Explosion Murder: shut up

Bone Hurting Juice: 2^nd years are starting! First match is a king of the mountain course set up by Cementoss-sensei!

Izucrew

Broccoli added “Zuko” to the chat!

Broccoli: This is for me, Uraraka, Tsu, Iida, and now you!

Zuko: thank you, Midoriya. I know I came in saying I wasn’t here to make friends, but I’m glad I have.

Endeavor Sucks Redux

Edgar Allan No: @Gotta Blast I saw you coming back earlier. You didn’t miss much yesterday; only what’s in the chat and watching the other years do their events. There are leftover onigiri and cookies in boxes by your door that I kept the “bakusquad” from devouring before you could get back.

(MOD) Gotta Blast: thank you, tokoyami.

(MOD) Gotta Blast: and thank you for sharing, Todoroki! We are here for you should you need it.

Endeavor Sucks: Thank you. @Gotta Blast how is your brother?

(MOD) Gotta Blast: Better than expected, actually. He faced Hero Killer Stain, and his sidekicks were nearby and the villain didn’t injure him too terribly, but unfortunately got away. They were able to determine the villain’s quirk from his fight, as he’s the first major hero to come away alive. He’s going to have some surgeries and long-term physical therapy, so he’ll be on desk duty at his agency for a while.

(MOD) Gotta Blast: He actually told me he’s thinking of retiring from on-call hero duty, but staying head of his agency! Only going on planned operations etc and mentoring new heroes. He gave me permission to use his hero name, which is why Midnight-sensei let me choose it in class!

Crimson Riot Stan: wow! We’re rooting for your brother, bro!

(MOD) Gotta Blast: thank you, Kirishima! It means a lot!

Class Reps and Teachers (Don’t Know What They’re Doing Either)

GiantRatWhoMakesAllOfTheRules: Shouta, you may begin the process of moving Shinsou into the 1A dorms during the internship week. Since most students will be out of the area

Insomniac: On it

Insomniac: @1ida @Momo I’ll send you his contact details; please add him to all the group chats, including the one you’ve made without me

1ida: got it, sensei!

(MOD) Gotta Blast has added Hitoshi Shinsou to the chat “Endeavor Sucks Redux”

Hitoshi Shinsou has changed their name to “???”

???: what is this

(MOD) Gotta Blast: This is the class 1A group chat!

???: Why

(MOD) VP: M*neta got expelled and now there’s room for a non-shitty classmate, so Aizawa’s moving you in over the week and catching you up.

(MOD) VP: Congrats!

???: in that case

??? has changed their name to “Mothman”

Mothman: assuming my true form as a cryptid

PikaPika: three questions

Mothman: three answers

PikaPika: one: do you have a history of harassing girls

Mothman: big nope

PikaPika: two: are you lgbtqa+ friendly

Mothman: bit hypocritical if I wasn’t, as a gay

PikaPika: asldkfi

PikaPika: three: Do you like cats?

Mothman: YES WHY

PikaPika: Todoroki adopted a dorm cat last week and you would be shunned if not. Proceed unpacking and whatnot

Mothman: fuck unpacking where’s the cat

Endeavor Sucks: my room, 32A. She’s sleeping on me because I’m an automatic heating pad and she is close to having kittens. Aizawa agreed to look after her during internship times since he’s going to be here.

Mothman: K I T T E N S ?

Mothman: OMW

Pro(fessional)s and Con(fidential)s

Care Bear Stare: First of all @KFC

Care Bear Stare: why Tokoyami?

KFC: Bird

Care Bear Stare: Bird?

KFC: yes

Care Bear Stare: You’re the goddamn number three hero

Care Bear Stare: and your answer to why you chose Fumikage as an intern

Care Bear Stare: is “bird”

KFC: your point?

Sonic: yeah, Shouta, your point?

Care Bear Stare: why do I bother staying in this hell chat

Bible Discussion & Study Meeting: because I give you no choice ;D

Care Bear Stare: gdi nemuri

President Michael: to be perfectly fair

President Michael: our adopted son is basically a mini Shouta

President Michael: he has no leg to stand on

Care Bear Stare: you shut your mouth Hizashi

Too Hot (Hot Damn): Haaaawks

Too Hot (Hot Damn): I didn’t know you were taking an intern? I would have taken Shouto???

Care Bear Stare: you still can, but then you’d get media attention

Too Hot (Hot Damn): ew no

Too Hot (Hot Damn): fair enough

Bun Bun: Pfft while you all do that

Bun Bun: Can we discuss the Hero Commission assignment, Hawks? I get you’re trying to improve the system from the inside out, bud, but that can’t be healthy still being treated like a weapon

KFC: I take breaks! And am in therapy! Besides, the next mission is with Touya

Too Hot (Hot Damn): The What With Who Now

KFC: have you even checked in your assignment mailbox this week I got this yesterday

Too Hot (Hot Damn): For your information, most of yesterday was spent planning last night’s date

KFC: aw, babe

KFC: this is why I’m the number three hero and you’re the number one boyfriend

Edna Mode: gross

Too Hot (Hot Damn): oh right

Too Hot (Hot Damn): you got the year 1 winner right

Edna Mode: yup. Kid’s got a temper but he’s pretty talented and driven so I’ll see what I can do. Also read up on his background—his parents are well-known designers in the civilian field.

Bible Discussion & Study Meeting: THAT’S why he didn’t look like an idiot designing his hero outfit

Edna Mode: it needs work still but yeah for a first year I’ll take it

Edna Mode: I Regret

Care Bear Stare: ha no takebacks

Edna Mode: He’s both worse and better than I thought. Does he go to anger management? And if he does, can you fire his counselor?

Care Bear Stare: ha you think any of my kids have considered therapy as an option?

Care Bear Stare: things went very wrong very early so they assume it’s just normal hero issues that they don’t need help with

President Michael: perhaps that’s something you can discuss in your next homeroom, shouta? Hound Dog can probably get in contact with therapists

Care Bear Stare: if I tell them to go to therapy, I’m a hypocrite

President Michael: not if you go you’re not!

Care Bear Stare: don’t you dare guilt me using my own kids

Care Bear Stare: wait

Bible Discussion & Study Meeting: screenshotted, saved to blackmail folder

Care Bear Stare: fml

Bible Discussion & Study Meeting: it was on this day that Aizawa officially claimed his class as “his kids”

President Michael: well now he’s just staring into space angrily

KFC: so . . . business as usual

Sonic: I’ve got quite a few kids working with my sidekicks this week and can I just say that I can tell which ones are his kids without even asking Tenya

Sonic: like

Sonic: they’re just slightly more feral and Ready to Fite

President Michael: ooh who do you have at your agency

Sonic: kid with tail, sugar hulk

Care Bear Stare: Ojirou Mashirao and Satou Rikidou

Sonic: yes them

President Michael: still salty Tenya didn’t want to work at your agency?

Sonic: only a little

Sonic: he wants to “expand his contacts” etc

Sonic: like the responsible young man he is

Too Hot (Hot Damn): lol

Too Hot (Hot Damn): btw Shouto has been giving me updates™ about daddy dearest and

Too Hot (Hot Damn): which of your children taught him how to show how salty he is?

Care Bear Stare: you mean he didn’t come that way?

Too Hot (Hot Damn): ah it was you

Too Hot (Hot Damn): thank you for the beautiful scenarios I am now getting updates on in my siblings' chat

Too Hot (Hot Damn): Endeavor: *blah blah in order to be the best hero blah something something about villain capture and patrol schedules and how summer is busier than winter*

Too Hot (Hot Damn): Shouto: wow father it’s almost like people go outside in nice weather

1A

Bone Hurting Juice Sent His Location!

Elphaba: Deku? What’s up?

Crimson Riot Stan: Yikes that’s in Hosu

PikaPika: like where the Hero Killer was last spotted??

(MOD) VP: Iida and Todoroki are interning near that area, I believe. @Gotta Blast @Zuko, can you check in on him?

Zuko: omw

Crimson Riot Stan: are you okay @Gotta Blast @Bone Hurting Juice @Zuko????

(MOD) Gotta Blast: currently at the hospital; will update everyone when we can!

Bone Hurting Juice: Yeah so we got permission to Tell People about it but

Bone Hurting Juice: This is a completely confidential situation, so don’t tell anyone pretty much ever

Bone Hurting Juice: Iida, Todoroki, you good with me telling them?

Zuko: I have absolutely No Idea how you’re typing this, but by all means

(MOD) Gotta Blast: ^^^

Bone Hurting Juice: I’m getting better at using my quirk without maximum damage! Anyway

Bone Hurting Juice: So we were all in Hosu. Noumus were attacking, so obvs heroes were taking them down in different areas

Bone Hurting Juice: and Iida saw Hero Killer Stain cornering Pro Hero Native, and he felt the need to avenge the harm on his brother

Bone Hurting Juice: Stain decided that it was an “unworthy cause” to be a hero and decided to kill Iida too

Bone Hurting Juice: I remembered how shaken Iida was about Stain attacking his brother and deduced a general area where Stain might be and found them. And I helped fight (though I got caught too)

Bone Hurting Juice: Stain’s quirk paralyzes someone when he ingests their blood for a certain length of time, depending on blood type (I had the shortest time/type, luckily)

Bone Hurting Juice: and it was starting to wear off, which is when I sent my location. Todoroki was with Endeavor who was called over to fight the Noumus, so he got to our location. We held Stain off long enough for more heroes and police to show up but it turns out one of my or iida’s hits broke a rib which punctured a lung, and he wasn’t able to escape even when he thought he could.

Bone Hurting Juice: We had a choice of going public and possibly never getting hero licenses/major legal trouble, or keeping it under wraps and continuing on with our lives

Bone Hurting Juice: so you could say our internship week was traumatizing

Zuko: I think you’re forgetting the part where Stain just randomly decided that you were a “Worthy Hero like All Might” and saved your ass from an otherwise deadly noumu hit

Bone Hurting Juice: yeah Trying Not To Think About It

King Explosion Murder: holy mother of shit

King Explosion Murder: and what, Endeavor got the credit when he wasn’t even at the fight? Couldn’t Native have taken it since he was at least there?

Zuko: you know what that’s a good question

Zuko: the usual answer? Money/status

King Explosion Murder: fuck endeavor

Elphaba: rt

Kermit: rt

Sero(tonin): rt

Several People are Typing . . .

Zuko: SOMEONE WHO HAS OWNED CATS SEND HELP

Zuko: I woke up to Tsubaki rubbing on me and purring really insistently and there are definitely going to be kittens in this dorm within a few hours if what I checked was anything to go by

Zuko: HELP

Mothman: oh crap ok

This Family is a Nightmare

Purple Son: @Scream Dad @Sleep Dad screenshottodopanic.jpg

Purple Son: help

Sleep Dad: Okay tell him to put her food and water bowls next to the box in the corner she normally sleeps in and have him coax her over there

Sleep Dad: I’ll be over in a bit most of it is stuff she can handle herself but might as well help

Endeavor Sucks Redux

Mothman: Get her to go to her usual sleeping spot and put her food/water near it so she doesn’t have to go too far. Make sure it’s all the way against the corner

Mothman: Aizawa’s gonna come help he’s had cats that had babies before

Zuko: thank god I’m not ready to be a midwife

Mothman: jaksdlf;wwj

Mothman: I’m telling him you said that

Galinda: omg kittens! Keep us updated!

Zuko: kitten1.png

(MOD) VP: !!! It’s so small next to your hand omg

Zuko: IKR

This Family is a Nightmare

Sleep Dad: shit she just bit my arm really hard @Purple Son can you grab some peroxide and bandages? Cat bites can be infectious as hell

Purple Son: sure is there anything wrong with her?

Sleep Dad: this one’s breech she’s having a hard time with it

Sleep Dad: I’m going to try to help it along

Purple Son: breech?

Sleep Dad: backwards; may not make it if the head doesn’t come out quickly, may not at all depending. I’ll try to help though if she stops fighting me on it

Purple Son: yikes ok

Endeavor Sucks Redux

Mothman: kitten2.png battlescar.png

Elphaba: !!! Is Aizawa-sensei ok?

Mothman: yeah just got bit trying to help her with the second kitten; its head wasn’t coming out and it was backwards. Took a bit but ok now!

Zuko: kitten3.png

Zuko: kitten4.png

Mothman: that’s all of them! She was really struggling with 2 and 4 but all is well and we have a happy momma and babies! Aizawa got bit trying to help and Todoroki stepped on a tac but we’re all good

Zuko: shut

Sero(tonin): you. you stepped on a tack?

Zuko: I was stepping backwards to get down to see them closer and there was a tack on the floor that fell out of my bulletin board

Zuko: it was halfway in my foot for a while there but my callouses are thick so I just kinda let it push itself out via gravity while I sat on my bed feeling like an idiot

Mothman: bulletin board? You mean your conspiracy board?

Zuko: b e t r a y a l

Mothman: it has red string and news clips and everything

Mothman: I thought you were this cool stoic kid at the sports festival but turns out you’re just as much of a disaster as the rest of us

Zuko: just for that I’m not letting you near the kittens anymore. Privileges revoked

Mothman: you can’t revoke them I’m their uncle

Zuko: REVOKED

Bone Hurting Juice: aaah so what are we going to name the kittens???

Zuko: They’re all girls according to Aizawa-sensei

Galinda: SCREAMING they’re so cute? A little gross because newborns but cute?

PikaPika: Pokemon names? Various Avatar characters? Old heroes? Food names?

King Explosion Murder: don’t name them after Avatar characters pls

Snow White: ₍⸍⸌̣ʷ̣̫⸍̣⸌₎

Snow White: ?

Zuko: idk we have time to figure it out tho

Endeavor Sucks

Smol Zuko: I have Acquired Children

Smol Zuko: cats.png

#2 Hawks Stan: hooooly shit sho that was not the way to say that

#2 Hawks Stan: you literally oscillate between serial killer and sad meme energy so fast please stop

Smol Zuko: do I really?

#2 Hawks Stan: yes you do

Teacher Voice: omg they’re so cute Shouto!

Teacher Voice: What are their names?

Smol Zuko: I’m not sure yet. They’re all girls.

Large Zuko: They Have To Match

Smol Zuko: I know this

Smol Zuko: I still don’t know what to name them

#2 Hawks Stan: There are four of us?

Smol Zuko: no

Teacher Voice: I’m sure you’ll come up with something!

Chapter Text

Endeavor Sucks Redux

Zuko: I’m changing the chat name because while I appreciate the support, I keep almost asking my brother Natsuo about school stuff, which he would be useless for

Zuko has changed the chat name from Endeavor Sucks Redux to “1A”

PikaPika: you’re not a mod tho

Zuko: mods can give and deny permissions to different users

PikaPika: ah

PikaPika: the momo giveth and the iida taketh away

Sero(tonin): I hate how accurate that is

(MOD) Gotta Blast: oh?

(MOD) VP: is that so?

Sero(tonin): I feel a sudden looming fear

(MOD) Gotta Blast: you should :)

Sero(tonin): that smile is terrifying

(MOD) VP: It should be :)

(MOD) VP: speaking of

(MOD) VP has changed her name to “Sword Lesbian”

Sword Lesbian has changed (MOD) Gotta Blast’s name to “Sonic”

Sword Lesbian: better

Sonic: ah no

Sonic has changed his name to “Lightning McQueen”

Lightning McQueen: my brother is Sonic in everything we have and I refuse to copy that particular meme disaster

PikaPika: i’M dYInG

Lightning McQueen: then perish

Galinda: why did Kami just pass out he didn’t even use his quirk?

Galinda: o shit

Eijirou Kirishima >>>>> Izuku Midoriya

Kirishima: uh hey bro

Midoriya: hi kiri! What’s up?

Kirishima: ok I know you and bakubro have known each other for ever, so you might know best

Kirishima: I gotta ask: would I even have a chance dating him?

Midoriya: oh

Midoriya: huh

Kirishima: that bad, huh?

Midoriya: no, no!

Midoriya: Short answer, I think yes he’d date you

Kirishima: Really? Are you sure?

Midoriya: Yeah! You’re really good for him, I think! And he definitely listens to you more than pretty much anyone. I think you’d have a really good shot! Do you want me to add you to the Izucrew chat for a bit to see what others think, from a less biased place?

Kirishima: yeah that’d be great

Kirishima: I love mina and the others but they can be a bit . . . much

Midoriya: One sec!

Kirishima: thank you so much, mido. It really means a lot!

Izucrew

Broccoli: hey @all can I add Kirishima here for a bit? He’s got a question about his crush and could use some less biased advice

You’ll Float Too: Go for it!

Iidad: Feel free! I’d love to help if I’m able!

Tsu: sure

Zuko: I’ll try to help

Broccoli added Crimson Riot Stan to the chat!

Broccoli changed Crimson Riot Stan’s name to “Help”

Help: gee thanks

Iida: how can we help you, kirishima? Izuku said you were having trouble regarding a crush?

Help: well, yeah

Help: it’s Bakugou

You’ll Float Too: Okay! What would you like to hear from us?

Tsu: I mean, no accounting for taste

Help: hey!

Broccoli: come on, tsu

Tsu: I’m just saying lol

Tsu: but as a lesbian it’s probably more the guy thing than the actual bakugou thing

Help: you aren’t surprised?

Zuko: I kinda figured? And if it’s any consolation, from my perspective it’s probably mutual

Zuko: from the beginning he was a lot less volatile with you and he usually turns to you first if he needs confirmation on something

Zuko: and I’ve definitely caught him staring at you during training before

Help: a;slghasjfl

Help: what?

You’ll Float Too: you know, considering the usual conspiracy antics, I’d be concerned, but Todoroki’s right

You’ll Float Too: and it’s not like he’d reject you in a mean way either I don’t think if it came down to it

Help: what do you mean?

You’ll Float Too: well, I think he probably likes you, but if he didn’t:

You’ll Float Too: kiri: I like you

You’ll Float Too: baku: obviously, I’m the best

You’ll Float Too: kiri: no, like, I want to be your boyfriend

You’ll Float Too: baku: unsurprising, but I don’t feel that way, shitty hair. Friends still? I can be your wingman if you somehow actually find someone almost as good as me

You’ll Float Too: kiri: bro

Help: . . . you know, I came here for help and I’m honestly feeling so attacked right now

Iidad: impressive Bakugou impersonation, Uraraka. But I think being open about your feelings will do you well, Kirishima! Bakugou reacts strongly, but he wouldn’t be cruel if he felt you were being honest.

Help: thanks, Iida! And everyone!

You’ll Float Too: go get your mans!

You’ll Float Too has kicked Help from the chat!

Eijirou Kirishima >>>>> Katsuki Bakugou

Shitty Hair: Hey Bakubro

Katsuki: what’s up

Shitty Hair: can you meet me up in my room I want to ask you about something

Katsuki: omw

It was too late now. He’d said it. He’d sent it. Bakugou was coming and he was damn well going to tell him about his crush, reciprocated or not he was going to do it.

A knock on the door still startled him all the same. He took a deep breath to steady himself and opened it. There was Bakugou, eyes narrowed.

“What do you want to talk about?” he asked. Kirishima just gestured for him to come in and sit down, not trusting his voice entirely.

“Uh, well—you see. I.”

“Come on, shitty hair, you can talk to me,” he said, and yeah, he could, couldn’t he?

“I’d like to be your boyfriend,” he said, meeting Bakugou’s eyes for a few seconds. The stare down broke as he felt heat rising in his cheeks. He glanced down at the floor, hands going to the back of his neck.

“Ah, but if you don’t want to date, that’s cool, I—”

“Eijirou,” he said, and whoa did that sound different. Not just being called by his name, but the softness in Bakugou’s voice. Kirishima looked up again to see Bakugou blushing, too.

“Eijirou,” he repeated, “that sounds great to me. How about I take you on a date this weekend?”

“Yes,” he said, probably too quickly, but Bakugou just smiled.

“Great. We can plan it later. Want to just hang out for a while?”

“Yeah, that sounds great, Bakugou,” he nodded sharply. His cheeks were hurting from how wide he was smiling.

“Katsuki,” he corrected. “Got it, Ei?”

“Got it, Katsuki,” he grinned.

1A

Galinda: EXCUSE ME KIRI WHAT DID I JUST SEE

Crimson Riot Stan: me and my boyfriend chilling in the common room?

Invisigirl: BOYFRIEND

PikaPika: WHOMST

Crimson Riot Stan has changed their name to “Sharkboy”

King Explosion Murder has changed their name to “Lavaking”

Sharkboy: aw babe

Lavaking: shut up

Lavaking: it was the only logical way to match

Bone Hurting Juice: !!!

Bone Hurting Juice: congratulations you two!

Tailed Beast: huh I had no idea Bakugou was interested in guys

Tailed Beast: but then, it’s Kirishima, who defies all with his sunshine

Bone Hurting Juice: fair

Elphaba: fair

Kermit: fair

Galinda: fair

Sero(tonin): fair

Catch These Hands: fair

Sharkboy: !!! I’m blushing so hard pls stop

Lavaking: no, continue

Lavaking: my boy needs all the compliments

Lavaking: also @Tailed Beast

Lavaking: I’m a gay trans man, if we gotta be specific about it

Tailed Beast: ah okay

PikaPika: is everyone in the class queer?

Mothman: I mean, I don’t want to out anyone or make anyone uncomfortable but this class is hella queerer than gen ed or 1B

Mothman: which is a great transition to my next awkward question

Mothman: what’s everyone’s pronouns I’m clearly messing up some irl and didn’t realize. also who the hell is everyone on this chat? Some names make sense and some don’t. Shinsou Hitoshi, he/him because they assigned me a gender at birth and I said thanks but no thanks

Ouran Protag: Aoyama Yuuga! He/him, resident Fabulous Gay

Invisigirl: Hagakure Tooru, she/her! My boyfriend is Mashirao :D I’m definitely bi tho

Snow White: (◕ ワ ◕✿)

Mothman: I’m sorry, I’m still learning—Kouda, correct? He/him?

Snow White: (o^-')b

Mothman: thanks for being patient with me!

Tailed Beast: Ojiro Mashirao, he/him, also bi

Mothman: gotcha

Bluetooth: Jirou Kyouka, she/her

Sword Lesbian: Yaoyorozu Momo, she/her. My girlfriend ^^^

Bluetooth: <3 <3 <3

Galinda: HOLD UP WHAT

Galinda: sorry, Ashido Mina, she/her, super bi

Mothman: understandable, carry on

Bluetooth: we’ve been keeping it on the dl while it was new. Three months now!

Galinda: y’all are too adorable I can see it

Edgar Allan No: Tokoyami Fumikage. He/him, Dark Shadow prefers they/them

Hangry: Satou Rikidou, he/him!

Catch These Hands: Shouji Mezou, he/him, trying they/them—I’ll let you know if that changes

PikaPika: Kaminari Denki, also he/him/they/them, but mostly they/them! Also @Catch These Hands same hat!

Lightning McQueen: Iida Tenya, he/him

Sero(tonin): Sero Hanta, he/him

Bone Hurting Juice: Midoriya Izuku, he/him

Kermit: Asui Tsuyu, call me Tsu. She/her/they/them

Zuko: Todoroki Shouto. He/him

Elphaba: Uraraka Ochako! She/her

Sharkboy: Kirishima Eijirou! He/him!

Lavaking: you know who I am. He/him, @Mothman agreed on the assigned gender shit

Crimson Riot Stan: *wipes tear* so manly

Mothman: quite literally

Hangry: okay to all of you that use different pronouns than I’ve been using I’m gonna try harder so call me out yeah?

PikaPika: not calling out, just reminding! I know you guys wouldn’t willfully do that shit

Galinda: damn straight

PikaPika: lol damn gay you mean

Galinda: sorry u right

Endeavor Sucks

#2 Hawks Stan: I’m just saying that he can say sorry all he wants

#2 Hawks Stan: I don’t have to forgive him

Teacher Voice: you don’t

Teacher Voice: just

Teacher Voice: I constantly feel like the referee between him and everyone else

Teacher Voice: and I feel like you guys judge me for giving him a chance

Smol Zuko: I’m not angry with you, Fuyumi; just please don’t expect us to give him a chance, too

Smol Zuko: he’s hurt all of us in different ways, and we reacted differently to it

Smol Zuko: I don’t blame you for wanting him to be a dad to you. And if he’s changed? Great. He won’t hurt us again. He’ll be a better hero. Good for him, but I don’t have to be a part of it

Teacher Voice: Right.

Teacher Voice: No second chances, got it.

#2 Hawks Stan: No, you don’t got it. No putting myself in the hands of my abuser again. And before you defend him, keep in mind, that’s what it was for all of us: abuse. Emotional or physical, doesn’t matter.

#2 Hawks Stan: And Touya and Shouto got the physical end of it, which I can’t imagine. You and I were just ignored, but it was at least neglect, yumi.

Teacher Voice: Great, I’m the villain now—

#2 Hawks Stan: that is not what I said.

#2 Hawks Stan: Dad fucked us up in plenty of ways. You have a big heart to be able to put yourself past that, but I can’t, and I’m not heartless for it. He thought I was nothing—said it to my face, once—and I’m going to continue to be nothing to him and he’s going to be nothing but my past and my DNA donor.

Large Zuko: Okay, everyone shut up for about two minutes.

Large Zuko: I can’t believe I’m having this conversation. But, well, needs must.

Large Zuko: since 75% of us are adults, and 25% are sensible teens that are dealing a lot better than the adults, I’m going to speak, because I’m the oldest and have some experiences you all don’t.

Large Zuko: You’re all goddamn right if you could get out of your heads for a second. Forgiveness isn’t closure for everyone, Yumi, and Natsuo, quit needling her about the past. She was there, too.

Large Zuko: Look, I have every reason to hate the bastard. I can’t visit mom much because she gets flashbacks about him. He trained me to the point of permanent nerve damage in some areas on my body. He made me feel like I’d never be good enough for what he was looking for.

Large Zuko: But there were good moments. We’d go out for ice cream. He’d take me to see the Sports Festival. He looked proud when each one of you had been born. I was happy to be an older brother. I’m happy every day about that.

Large Zuko: So, yeah, I get that Fuyumi wants those moments with him. The rest just hurts too much for me to want that from him when I can get that from the rest of you. My mental health matters more to me than his, and that’s on him for it being more fragile anyway. I’m not punishing him by continuing to stay out of contact; I’m protecting myself. Natsuo’s doing that in his own way. Shouto in his. Fuyumi in hers.

Large Zuko: now suck it up and apologize for pushing each other

#2 Hawks Stan: sorry Yumi

Teacher Voice: sorry Natsu

Large Zuko: now, who wants to visit Shouto next family day, since I’m publicly mia?

Smol Zuko: please no

Teacher Voice: Sorry, I’ve got a date that day

#2 Hawks Stan: My Time Has Come

Smol Zuko: Fuyumi I’m begging you

Teacher Voice: sorry Sho

#2 Hawks Stan: rood

Bandmates

Twinkle: Fight me, Jirou

Bluetooth: excuse me

Twinkle: Fight Me

Bluetooth: what for

Twinkle: you didn’t tell me about you and momo

Bluetooth: between you and Tooru how fast would that news have traveled

Twinkle: fair

Twinkle: but still

John Cena: ^^^

Chorus: is everyone up for the jam session on thursday still?

Bomb Dot Com: yeah I’ll be there

Bomb Dot Com: I’m bringing Eijirou to watch

Bluetooth: nice I’m bringing Momo

John Cena: and Mashi’s not sick anymore so he can come! We have our bass back!

Twinkle: Shouji, can I say I’m bringing you?

Chorus: only if you mean it

Chorus: and I know you’re dating that one kid from 1B

Bluetooth: ok seriously how on earth could you physically hide that aoyama

Twinkle: it’s new and people are focused on the power couples

Bomb Dot Com: wait which 1B kid

Twinkle: tetsutetsu :D

Bomb Dot Com: ah ok

Bomb Dot Com: if it had been that kazoo kid I might’ve questioned your sanity

Twinkle: he’s having dinner with his family thursday night or he’d come, too

Bluetooth: he’s welcome any time in the future!

Endeavor Sucks

Large Zuko: actually I have something important to talk about.

Large Zuko: @all

Large Zuko: I was given the go ahead to let immediate family know if I wanted to. I’m going on a long-term deep cover mission starting next week. Since I might interact with Shouto undercover, I needed to tell you all what was going on. Hawks is gonna be going a month later to handle the official pro side.

Teacher Voice: !!! Good luck!!! Can you tell us anything about it? Will we be able to contact you?

#2 Hawks Stan: dude deep cover? big yikes that’s not something you’ve done before

Smol Zuko: ???

Large Zuko: Don’t worry I checked with my supervisor, I can tell you now the broad strokes, but details and ongoing contact is gonna be a big no. I’ll leave my actual phone with Natsu during. But.

Large Zuko: Remember the League of Villains, shou? There’s a yakuza dealer that’s putting out feelers for recruitment for them. Because I’ve been black ops this whole time, people basically think I’m dead. And even if they figure it out, I’ve been ‘missing’ for years, no official history. So I’m joining up to be a mole pretending that I actually want to kill dad, and not lock him up. Use some Hero Killer Stain logic or something.

Large Zuko: The hero commission thinks the League of Villains backer is more powerful and more dangerous than Shigaraki.

Large Zuko: I’ll be going in as a villain named Dabi and my edgelord and spy fantasies will be simultaneously fulfilled while I take them down from the inside

#2 Hawks Stan: holy shit bro

Smol Zuko: I remember what they did when they attacked us. And I already told you all the story with the Hero Killer. I just. Do you even have an out on this mission? Before Hawks gets there?

Smol Zuko: I know you’re an adult and all, but I worry, so

Large Zuko: I’ve got an out and more than one plan for it. I can handle myself long enough for Hawks to get there I am a damn pro hero, kid.

Large Zuko: I’ve been doing this a while, Shou

Smol Zuko: I know! But Shigaraki is dangerous and I know it firsthand

Smol Zuko: what little I saw of him was terrifying so

#2 Hawks Stan: basically, don’t get killed or we’ll kill you again, and then Shou will cry, and then I’ll be arrested for murdering a ghost

Teacher Voice: Take care of yourself, Touya.

Large Zuko: I will

League of Assholes

Dadgiri has added Dabi and Toga to the chat!

Dabi has changed their name to “Bluedabadi”

Toga has changed their name to “Yandere”

Dadgiri: I

Dadgiri: I am not surprised. I feel like I should be.

Dadgiri: But I am not.

Bluedabadi: don’t know what to tell you

Bluedabadi: if you were going to hire villains that wouldn’t be trashfires

Bluedabadi: you should have looked elsewhere

Jazz Hands: For all I dislike you

Jazz Hands: you’re not wrong

Yandere: hm I wonder how a ghost’s blood tastes like. Would you volunteer, giri-san?

Dadgiri: no

Yandere: fair enough

1A

Elphaba: @Lavaking @Sharkboy @Galinda @PikaPika @Sero(tonin)

Elphaba: Bakusquad vs Izucrew at team fights tomorrow?

Lavaking: you’re so on pink cheeks

Lavaking: @Elphaba @Bone Hurting Juice @Lightning McQueen @Zuko @Kermit

Lavaking: prepare to be crushed

Sword Lesbian: I—

Sword Lesbian: You know what. This’ll be good for them. I’m not even going to question it.

Bluetooth: ah, yes. I claim you for my team tho

Edgar Allan No: @Snow White would you like to be on my team?

Snow White: :D

Class Reps and Teachers (Don’t Know What They’re Doing Either)

The Sensible One: Yagi I stg

Y’all Might’ve: Okay that’s on me

The Sensible One: In highly competitive situations, you never let the children pick their own teams

The Sensible One: understood?

Y’all Might’ve: understood

The Sensible One: I’m going to figure out how the hell to schedule the idiot childrens’ healing schedules. In the meantime

The Sensible One: how about you report on exactly how the hell this happened

Y’all Might’ve: I told them to divide into four teams of five

Y’all Might’ve: for group battles to strategize and create combination maneuvers

Insomniac: see if it had been theoretical work with highly supervised tests that would have been excellent

Y’all Might’ve: Admittedly true

Y’all Might’ve: The teams were:

Y’all Might’ve: Midoriya, Uraraka, Iida, Tsuyu, Todoroki

Y’all Might’ve: Bakugou, Kirishima, Ashido, Kaminari, Sero

Y’all Might’ve: Kouda, Tokoyami, Shinsou, Shouji, Aoyama

Y’all Might’ve: Momo, Jirou, Satou, Hagakure, Ojiro

Multiplication Man: oh you poor fool

Diglet: see this

Diglet: this is only good for entertainment purposes. No education whatsoever

Multiplication Man: except for All Might, of course

Y’all Might’ve: It’s true but you shouldn’t say it

Y’all Might’ve: Regardless, each team was meant to combine powers against their opponents. I had at least enough sense not to put the “Bakusquad” against the “Izucrew”

Insomniac: really why was Bakugou fighting Tsuyu then

Y’all Might’ve: They finished one round of group fights and it seemed unfair to not let teams switch, so then it was the second combination I could get away with without having that problem

Y’all Might’ve: Which, speaking of—Kouda can speak with Tokoyami using his quirk, and therefore they can use secret code in essence

Y’all Might’ve: and then there was still time left at the end of the exercise and they were looking at me

Bible Discussion & Study Meeting: oh the horror

Bible Discussion & Study Meeting: looking at you

Y’all Might’ve: They would have done it without my supervision or permission!

Y’all Might’ve: I couldn’t stop them

Y’all Might’ve: so I gave them a warning and waited to call it off when it would be necessary

Scree: Ah, so that’s why Uraraka screamed “YEET” and threw Iida at full speed without the problem of friction at Kirishima?

Diglet: unstoppable force vs immovable object

Insomniac: who won?

Y’all Might’ve: Iida and Kirishima created a sizable crater upon impact

Y’all Might’ve: which was expanded by the inevitable Bakugou vs. Midoriya fight that broke out

Scree: understandable

Landscaper: with feeling:

Landscaper: sigh

Y’all Might’ve: I apologize

Landscaper: nah don’t worry I’ll fix the training ground again

Y’all Might’ve: I really need to just owe you eternal dinners after what I put you all through

Insomniac: if that were true the problem children would owe me so much alcohol

Insomniac: you’re learning

Insomniac: Now you can probably talk to Midoriya and Nezu about quirk combinations among the class, give them possibilities, and assign them combinations to work on

GiantRatWhoMakesAllOfTheRules: I’ve been meaning to speak with Midoriya about his analysis skills! It’s definitely a boon that otherwise we haven’t gotten to foster this year

Insomniac: I fear

GiantRatWhoMakesAllOfTheRules: :)

Scree: oh dear

Nezu >>>>> Midoriya

Nezu: Hello, Midoriya!

Midoriya: Ah, Principal Nezu! What can I do for you?

Nezu: I’ve been told about your quirk analysis skills! I’d like to meet up with you and perhaps work out some tutoring with it. My abilities align with that particular skill set well!

Midoriya: oh, really? That’s amazing! I’d love to speak with you about what I know! Though I’m not sure if it’s really a skill?

Nezu: Nonsense! Understanding how a quirk works leads to discoveries for improvement or for takedown, both extremely useful.

Midoriya: Admittedly, I’ve always seen it as a fanboy thing I’ve not really grown out of

Nezu: Ah, but a useful thing. You’re not just a fan, anymore: you’re one of the heroes.

Midoriya: When would you like to meet?

Nezu: After class today would be great, if you have time! Yagi knows you’re meeting with me, so he won’t wait up, just this once.

Midoriya: Okay, I’ll see you then!

Izucrew

Broccoli: I think Principal Nezu wants to mentor me???

Tsu: !!!

You’ll Float Too: !!!

Zuko: oh wow congrats?

Iidad: That’s wonderful! And concerning!

Broccoli: I know???

Chapter Text

1A

Zuko: I have named Tsubaki’s kittens

Zuko: jasmine.png

Zuko: cinnamon.png

Zuko: coffee.png

Zuko: nutmeg.png

Mothman: thanks I’m crying

Bone Hurting Juice: I? Love? Them?

Sword Lesbian: Todoroki are you taking daily pictures as they grow up?

Zuko: yes what do you take me for?

Zuko: and I am upset that Coffee likes Shinsou more than me

Mothman: >:D

PikaPika: yo so I was thinking? About the support class collab we’re doing next week

Sero(tonin): ah yes that was the burning smell I caught

PikaPika: shut

PikaPika: anyway so my partner and I were talking about comms and recordings and stuff like that and we agreed: battle theme songs

PikaPika: SO MY QUESTION IS WHAT THEME SONGS DO Y’ALL HAVE

PikaPika: can be just something you vibe with or something that’d be like, your hero theme song

PikaPika: @all none can escape

PikaPika: mine is the Pokemon theme song no shame

Bluetooth: Belgrade by the Battle Tapes

PikaPika: ooh I haven’t heard that one

Bluetooth: it’s dope go listen to it

Bluetooth: btw I’m definitely making a playlist for everyone once kami and his partner inevitably build a battle hype music function into their comms system

PikaPika: I ain’t even mad

Snow White: <<< ♫

PikaPika: Disney jams, I can dig it

Snow White: :D

Galinda: THERE ARE SO FEW GOOD ALIEN SONGS

Galinda: like Todoroki can we split Katy Perry rights?

Zuko: I don’t want any you can have them

Galinda: lol ok then Extraterrestrial by Katy Perry

Sero(tonin): much like Kaminari, I am unashamed to be a discount Spiderman, and so I pick What’s Up Danger by Black Caviar

Invisigirl: Ghosts by Jacob Tillberg – accurate and a bop

Edgar Allan No: Way Down Hadestown from Hadestown

Elphaba: A fellow theater nerd?

Edgar Allan No: obviously

Sword Lesbian: SAME and probably Get Down from Six or Little Lion Man by Mumford & Sons

Sharkboy: I’m Always Walking as Somebody Else by American Murder Song

Kermit: for the hero thing, crazy frog duh

Kermit: but for me to vibe to during workouts or fighting? My Name is No One by the Mechanisms

Bone Hurting Juice: idk either Champion by Fall Out Boy or Finale by AJR

PikaPika: biiiiig mood “if I can live through this I can do anything” sums up our school year so far

Tailed Beast: Black Butterflies and Déjà Vu by The Maine

Mothman: Control by Halsey

Catch These Hands: Bohemian Rhapsody, because it’s my party trick

PikaPika: you don’t mean?

Catch These Hands: I can sing all the parts

PikaPika: Legend

PikaPika: you know what you’re doing at the next class sleepover/party/whatever we do

Catch These Hands: bet

Elphaba: Well, either Defying Gravity obvi, or just about anything by Mother Mother

Sword Lesbian: ooh good choice

Lightning McQueen: A Little Faster by There for Tomorrow

Ouran Protag: See my user name and guess. Just guess.

Hangry: Stand Up by The Cab

Lavaking: Stuff of Legends by Daughtry

PikaPika: @Zuko you’ve been lurking what is your song

Zuko: Heroes of Today by Once Monsters

Bluetooth: playlist made!

Bandmates

Bluetooth: @all be prepared to add some of these to our set list for covers some people have good taste

Chorus: looking up the ones I don’t know now

John Cena: !!! I love some of these! We gotta!

Kirishima Protection Squad

Charger: I was today years old when I found out

Charger: that Bakubro’s birthday

Charger: IS 4/20

Bondage: BRO

Charger: BRO

Bomberanian: die

Charger: NO

Powderpuff: oh wow I wake up to this

Bomberanian: I will literally blow the both of you off of campus

Sharkboi: please don’t

Bomberanian: you’re on thin fuckin ice @Charger @Bondage

Charger: ;)

Powderpuff: why must you antagonize him

Charger: self-preservation? Who’s she?

1A

Lightning McQueen: I have the best Support Class partner

Elphaba: oh?

Lightning McQueen: hero-strength low-friction heelys

Invisigirl: ?

Bone Hurting Juice: oh no

Bone Hurting Juice: what were Aizawa and Power Loader thinking approving that

PikaPika: I don’t get it?

Bone Hurting Juice: heelys

Bone Hurting Juice: with Iida’s quirk

Lightning McQueen: :)

PikaPika: fear

Galinda: I really want to see that now omg

Catch These Hands: The fact that Iida has turned into a chaotic gremlin through this partner work actually concerns me more than the Implications™ of that unholy combination

Lightning McQueen: Allow me to clear up some misconceptions!

Lightning McQueen: I know I am a bit stiff in the class rep position, and am often a stickler for rules. However, it’s more because I wish to honor and respect the type of hero I want to be one day. That does not mean I’m an alien that doesn’t understand social things.

Lightning McQueen: Or memes or any of your references, for that matter, @PikaPika @Sero(tonin), as my brother is a self-titled meme king.

Lightning McQueen: And tbh I had enough arrogance to believe I could beat Hero Killer Stain alone at one point so

Lightning McQueen: why wouldn’t I be a chaotic gremlin when given the chance?

PikaPika: dear god

Class Reps and Teachers (Don’t Know What They’re Doing Either)

Diglet: Aizawa I just want to talk

Insomniac: not my class not my problem

Diglet: see it is your class, though. They have teamed up with my class and infected them. Let me just tell you the highlights.

Diglet: I don’t even care that Iida can see this because he deserves to know that him plus heelys is absolutely terrifying but also is approved to add to his hero suit

1ida: :)

Diglet: And who in hell let Midoriya and Hatsume team up? They spent most of the first day brainstorming more and more ideas that were going to give me migraines because of the paperwork required for dangerous materials/patents that I was going to have to make

Diglet: Ashido and her partner have decided that chemical warfare was the way to go, and have been working with @Momo to see what her quirk’s acid reacts with to make 1) Pink Smoke Bombs 2) actual grenades

Diglet: which brings it around to Bakugou

Insomniac: Actually, he talked to me about that. It was your student that made most of the adjustment suggestions to his uniform, correct?

Diglet: yes

Insomniac: thank them for me at some point; the compound to help neutralize the nitroglycerin and the ear protection were nice touches

Diglet: They blew up Hatsume’s newest baby, and both she and Midoriya cried

Diglet: I Had To Deal With That

Insomniac: Do you think I actually control the problem children?

Diglet: yes . . . ?

Insomniac: You fool

Diglet: ugh I have so many regrets

1A

Bone Hurting Juice: So Principal Nezu is having me do quirk analysis on our class to help everyone with individual and combo training

Sero(tonin): like you do

Bone Hurting Juice: exactly

Bone Hurting Juice: So if people want me to talk to them about their own quirks dm me! Nezu has been helping me work out strengths/weaknesses/potential combo moves/support gear ideas

Lavaking: smh you’ve got assigned fanboy hours now

Bone Hurting Juice: Oh, what’s that? You don’t want to hear about cool potential moves you might not have thought of?

Lavaking:

Lavaking: why do you have to call me out

Bone Hurting Juice: that’s what I thought bitch

PikaPika: OOOH

PikaPika: actually my main question is do you have any ideas for discharging without frying my brain

Bone Hurting Juice: Yes! DM me and we can chat

Bluetooth: omg kami won’t lose any more brain cells? This is a strange timeline

PikaPika: shut

Sharkboy: Wait why is Principal Nezu assigning you extra work?

Bone Hurting Juice: He reviewed some of my pro hero analysis books and decided to tutor my on the side because his High Spec works well with my natural analysis abilities

Sero(tonin): the power you wield is a bit scary

Sero(tonin): I would not want a villain version of Deku like ever

Mothman: true

Mothman: I watched the battles after I lost at the Sports Festival and I was like

Mothman: “shit I could have died”

Bone Hurting Juice: but I wouldn’t have hurt you!

Mothman: yeah cause you’re an actually good person

Mothman: you minus your dedication to being a hero for the right reasons? Terrifying concept

Zuko: I mean any of us would be pretty scary as villains. If you think about yourself without the limits of right and wrong, there’s a lot of damage you can do.

Mothman: Oh I know

Mothman: I, Shinsou “people assume my quirk is perfect for me to become a villain” Hitoshi, know exactly how that line of thought works.

Bone Hurting Juice: But it’s also useful, as long as you don’t act on it? Because villains will expect anyone to act a) like a stereotypical pro hero or b) like them and their experiences

Elphaba: huh I hadn’t thought of it like that

Elphaba: but actually yeah? Each one of us has scary potential

Sero(tonin): fyi I did not mean for it to get dark in here

Sero(tonin): it’s just that I’m glad that we’ve got the awesome quirk analyst and not the league

Bone Hurting Juice: lol np Sero

Kirishima Protection Squad

Charger: I’m so gay 2: electric boogaloo

Sharkboi: oh worm?

Charger: that sparring session earlier?

Charger: *chef’s kiss*

Charger: you and your boyfriend are killing me Kiri

Bomberanian: shut your fuck

Powderpuff: but not as much as Shinsou ;)

Charger: Who’s Mina Ashido? Never met her

Powderpuff: oh come on

Bondage: let’s be real bro you were staring at him hardcore in class

Charger: I have been betrayed by my bro Sero, now I only know Kiri

Sharkboi: bro

Charger: bro

Bomberanian: please just ask aizawa jr. out for all of our sakes

Charger: I—

Charger: does that make me mini Present mic?

Bomberanian: blonde, loud, obnoxious, decent at English?

Bomberanian: sure

Charger: acceptable

Charger: except, alas, I will never get a boyfriend

Powderpuff: :)

Charger: what

Powderpuff: Midoriya’s not the only one who can do some interesting analysis about people. I’m just good at relationships

Charger: oh god please no

Powderpuff: :)

Bondage: :)

1A

Invisigirl: okay

Invisigirl: who’s signed up for the JSL classes with Mic? I need practice partners!

Tailed Beast: oh sweetie

Tailed Beast: remember to wear gloves to class for that!

Invisigirl: oh good idea!

Invisigirl: still need a study group started tho since I know I’m going to struggle

Sword Lesbian: Agreed! I’m glad he started optional basics to prepare for when it’s required next year. I had no idea hearing loss was so common in hero business, even though logically it makes sense with all the destruction/loud battles they face

PikaPika: ^^^^

Lightning McQueen: I’ve been going! I’m pretty good at the basic vocab signs so far, but application/practice is difficult

Sword Lesbian: same

Sword Lesbian: though I’m sure Mic is a good teacher for it; after all, most of us are picking up English pretty well!

Lavaking: I’ll lead practices if I have time. I’m already fluent.

Bone Hurting Juice: and I know some basics as well!

Sero(tonin): damn Bakugou why you good at everything

Lavaking: in this case, it’s because I’m already hard of hearing

Sero(tonin):

Sero(tonin): oh ok

Lavaking: Explosions=loud, loud=hearing loss

Lavaking: which is why mic knows it too. He’s going to teach me American Sign Language while you all learn JSL

PikaPika: I will literally pay you to tutor me

Lavaking: don’t bother I’ll lead practice sessions the night after mic’s classes

Sword Lesbian: thank you Bakugou!

Sharkboy: you’re the best :D

Zuko: hey @Bone Hurting Juice @Sword Lesbian

Sword Lesbian: ?

Bone Hurting Juice: yes Todoroki?

Zuko: Can you come just sit watch some Disney movies with me? It’s been a day

Bone Hurting Juice: omw with extra snacks!

Sword Lesbian: I’ll bring fluffy pillows and blankets

Izucrew

Broccoli: @all help I have a crush

Broccoli: correction: I have crushes

You’ll Float Too: WHO

Tsu: WHO

Iidad: WHO

Zuko: uh . . . who?

Broccoli: well now I’m too frightened to tell

You’ll Float Too: sorry Deku! We just have a bet going

Broccoli: You bet on my love life???

Broccoli: now I really don’t want to tell

Zuko: to be perfectly fair I didn’t know about the bets

Broccoli: thanks, you’re a real friend

You’ll Float Too: I’ve got 500 on Bakugou

Tsu: 800 for Kirishima

Iidad: I put in 500 yen each for Todoroki and Shinsou

Zuko: What

Broccoli: fuck

Broccoli: I can’t believe you’ve done this

Zuko: wait can I put money in

Broccoli: You Shouldn’t

Zuko: why?

You’ll Float Too: not even going to question Iida’s choice?

Zuko: well they were smaller bets so less likely?

Broccoli: asiejtalksdf

Broccoli: so none of you are losing money if it’s just on crushes

You’ll Float Too: AHEM WHAT

Broccoli: my idiot bi poly heart is like “but consider: all the cuddles” despite my brain going “one of these people actively hated you for the majority of the time you knew each other and the rest likely don’t like you like that” so yeah

Zuko: oh

Broccoli: please let me just go jump in a lake I’m sorry if I made things awkward Todoroki

Zuko: look I’ll fight Bakugou on the hating you thing

Zuko: facts are: You’re adorable. You’re strong in so many ways. I’ve lowkey been crushing on you since the festival. And if the others you have a crush on don’t then more Izuku for me.

Broccoli:

Broccoli: w h a t

You’ll Float Too: oh no he dead

Zuko: @Broccoli i'm coming up to your dorm hold on a sec

Endeavor Sucks

Smol Zuko: I HAVE A BOYFRIEND WHAT DO

Large Zuko: if he does something stupid, freeze his balls and burn the rest of him

Teacher Voice: Touya seriously

Large Zuko: it’s a valid option!

Large Zuko: but seriously congrats sho

#2 Hawks Stan: when do we get to shovel talk. We have to coordinate it together bc I’m not intimidating at all and neither is Touya, but combined we’re at least a little threatening

Large Zuko: excuse you I’m an intimidating actual underground pro about to go on a high stakes mission

#2 Hawks Stan: yeah with noodle arms

Teacher Voice: BACK TO SHOUTO

Teacher Voice: congratulations! Who’s the boy?

Smol Zuko: Midoriya Izuku—we fought at the sports festival and he broke all his bones?

Large Zuko: ah, yes, the one you’ve been pining over for pretty much the whole school year

Smol Zuko: don't make me break out the screenshots from before you and Hawks started dating

1A

Bone Hurting Juice: I have fulfilled one of my many crushes with a boyfriend

Zuko: <3

PikaPika: THAT’S IT

PikaPika has changed the chat name from “1A” to “1-GAY”

PikaPika: any objections @all?

PikaPika: that’s what I thought

Galinda: many crushes?

Bone Hurting Juice: as I said in the izucrew chat

Bone Hurting Juice: my idiot bi poly heart is like “consider: all the cuddles” despite my brain being more logical

Zuko: And while I’m not sure if I’m poly I’d definitely support you and be down if you wanted to get more boyfriends for a cuddle pile

Bone Hurting Juice: aljshhffgkjh

Galinda: HM

Invisigirl: HMM

Elphaba: if you’re going to place bets, keep in mind the whole ass Izucrew already knows all of the crushes

Galinda: isn’t Todoroki in the Izucrew chat?

Zuko: yes and he confessed after the cuddles statement and Uraraka admitting that the rest of them had bets on his love life already

Galinda: ah so the Izucrew is banned from betting on who the other crushes are BUT

Galinda: whoever wants to help run the bets can

Elphaba: I’ll do it since I was in charge the first time lol

League of Assholes

Dadgiri: everyone had better be at the damn bar ready to clean up within two hours

Dadgiri: do I make myself clear?

Bluedabadi: crystal

YesNo: yes

YesNo: no

Yandere: i feel like this is a call out so to be fair

Yandere: I didn’t actually know the address before

Dadgiri: you were with Dabi how could you get lost

Bluedabadi: I’m not her keeper

Jazz Hands: smh just listen to Kurogiri

Jazz Hands: it makes life easier

Bluedabadi: true enough. He’s the only sensible person in the league and you know it

YesNo: I can’t even argue that

YesNo: bitch you take that back

Yandere: rude

Yandere: in my defense I wasn’t with Dabi because he’d taken a bus and I walked so our paths didn’t cross

Jazz Hands: wait you two don’t live together?

Bluedabadi: why would we

Bluedabadi: I met her literal hours before you did

Jazz Hands: huh

Stain Stan: I mean I thought you two were a couple when I joined up

Bluedabadi: ew

Yandere: excuse me

Yandere: I’m a catch

Bluedabadi: I’m very gay, Toga

Yandere: huh ok

Yandere: vibe check passed

Who let us graduate UA

sanic: ooooooh noooooo

Birb: what now?

sanic: it’s one thing to be temporarily in charge of children for internships

sanic: another to you know, help out young sidekicks

sanic: BUT TEACHING AT UA? Who the hell thought that would be a good idea for me?

Birb: apparently people?

sanic: also @Calcifer where are you?

Birb: undercover mission; I’m joining as a handler later

sanic: I’ll be all alone then

Birb: I’ll still be able to contact you; I’ll give updates when possible

Calcifer: uwu what’s this?

Birb: smh Natsuo

sanic: Natsuo Todoroki?

Calcifer: ah so Birb is clearly Hawks, my brother’s boyfriend. And Sanic is Tensei Iida. So this is the three stooges chat?

sanic: hi Natsuo leave me to freak out about being put in charge of children for long periods of time while they attempt to beat up villains that for some reason keep targeting them

Calcifer: I mean

Calcifer: You’ll have practical experience to apply as a mentor already. You’d probably already be a better teacher than All Might, if Shouto’s stories are anything to go by. You’d be fine!

sanic: but I’m still in pt and won’t be able to teach them the way I should

Birb: back up what subject are you teaching?

sanic: physics/chem

Calcifer: then you’re fine! Talk with Power Loader and Ectoplasm about it. The kids will like you fine

Birb: yeah they’re just a bunch of meme lords, goths, and queer kids

Birb: some are combinations of the above (my intern, also a birb)

Birb: you’ll be fine. You’ve got our senpais there right? Mic and Midnight will haze you and Eraser will pretend not to laugh

sanic: ah, if only my fate did not include being humiliated in front of students

sanic: one of whom is my little brother, I might add

Calcifer: oof good luck i'm signing off now

sanic: bye Natsuo

Birb: bye Natsu

Birb: now Tensei, you’ll be fine. You were going to accept the position later anyway. No amount of physical injury will prevent you from teaching those kids a lot of things, and you’ll do a damned good job. Now relax and go call Nezu about filling out the paperwork so you can start next year

sanic: yes, Hawks

sanic: thank you

Chapter Text

1-GAY

PikaPika: SEND HELP

Sero(tonin): what for? What’s going on?

PikaPika: FINALS

Sero(tonin): O SHIT

Galinda: O SHIT

Lavaking: you absolute dumbasses

Sword Lesbian: tutoring sessions begin on Friday after classes, meet me in the living room!

PikaPika: My savior

Galinda: Momo is god confirmed

Sword Lesbian: though I could definitely use some help in English

PikaPika: fair I will help

Invisigirl: I’m glad for the order of the exams at least. English followed by Modern Lit just gets my least favorites out of the way at the beginning lol

Elphaba: I’m mainly concerned about the practical exam tho

Elphaba: will it be rescue? Comprehensive somehow? Who knows!

Sharkboy: Aizawa said we’d be covering that in FHS class at the end tho

Sero(tonin): surprise foundational hero studies exam parameters? Thanks I hate it

Mothman: it is time

Edgar Allan No: it is 1:34 in the morning

Mothman: it is time

Mothman: for the insomniacs stressing about exams to sound off

Bone Hurting Juice: aight

Edgar Allan No: k

Invisigirl: yup

Mothman: excellent

Mothman: now consider:

Mothman: We were all smart enough to get into this course which is better than a lot of people can handle

Mothman: (sure there are obviously stakes and I am terrified of being sent back to gen ed)

Bone Hurting Juice: excuse me??? you’re fine? Like, sure, I’m worried, but we’ve come by our strength honestly

Lightning McQueen: PLEASE go to sleep

Bone Hurting Juice: Ah shit

Bone Hurting Juice: goodnight all

Invisigirl: ha ok

Lightning McQueen: and don’t you dare just make an insomniacs only chat I will cut you

Edgar Allan No: so apparently late-night Iida is bitchy Iida

Lightning McQueen: bet

Lavaking: those of you extras that didn’t make it to ponytail’s study group better be at the library in ten minutes if you want any actual help

Sharkboy: omw!

Tailed Beast: omw

Invisigirl: omw

Bone Hurting Juice: petition to beat up monoma

Lavaking: where do I sign

Sword Lesbian: what did he do

Bone Hurting Juice: heard about how Shouto, Iida, and I all faced Stain and gave 1A shit over being attacked all the time

Sword Lesbian: I’ll talk to Kendou about him

Bone Hurting Juice: ty Momo!

Tailed Beast: hooooly shit I do not want to fight teachers

Catch These Hands: welp guess I’ll die then

Bone Hurting Juice: mood

Zuko: mood

Edgar Allan No: mood

Sharkboy: mood

Sword Lesbian: now everyone calm down wow

Sword Lesbian: @Bone Hurting Juice, will Nezu have you review these for your extra quirk analysis tutoring?

Bone Hurting Juice: oh yeah definitely I can post it in the group chat if no one’s opposed?

Sword Lesbian: just get permission from teams ok?

Bone Hurting Juice: got it

Invisigirl: we could all talk strategy in the chat since the teachers are on the bus

Lightning McQueen: to avoid clutter in the chat, let’s just relegate to DMs

PikaPika: I knew there had to be a reason you’re class president Emergency Exit-san

Lightning McQueen: stfu

Bone Hurting Juice: fuuuuuuuuck

Sero(tonin): it is so weird to see you swear but never hear it

Bone Hurting Juice: I grew up with Kacchan

Sero(tonin): ah

Sero(tonin): makes sense

Bone Hurting Juice: and no, I did not break all my bones this time, but I am in the hospital with Kacchan, which is perfect timing for my analysis stuff.

Bone Hurting Juice: especially while we’re waiting on overall results

Bone Hurting Juice: @PikaPika, @Galinda, you versus Principal Nezu—do you want my rundown?

PikaPika: despite our demise? I wanna hear it

Galinda: I really want to know if there was a way for us to win that and how I could get there

Bone Hurting Juice: Right! So first of all, Principal Nezu is terrifying and I’m almost sorry

Bone Hurting Juice: but you guys could have used alternate paths besides the roads, and either of you could have made the wrecking ball mechanism malfunction with your quirk. Without the mechanism, one of you could have held him off while the other went for the gate. Or if Mina slipped him up badly enough or Kami shocked him, he might have been immobile enough for you to slap the handcuffs on.

PikaPika: but he was laughing and we panicked

Bone Hurting Juice: you basically got into your own heads too much to realize there were options

Galinda: . . . ugh thinking back it feels obvious

Bone Hurting Juice: yeah hindsight is indeed 20/20

Bone Hurting Juice: we can chat more about it later for specifics?

Galinda: I’d like that

Bone Hurting Juice: @Ouran Protag, @Elphaba versus Thirteen! Do you both want me to go through it?

Elphaba: Definitely! I know I made some mistakes

Ouran Protag: But of course!

Bone Hurting Juice: well, it was a good initial assault until Aoyama distracted Uraraka

Ouran Protag: guilty I was asking for tea at probably the worst possible moment

Bone Hurting Juice: And Thirteen’s Black Hole was definitely a weakness for Aoyama, so it was either going to be Uraraka winning by handcuffing them or by distracting them long enough for Aoyama to get away. Physical training was definitely a plus—you’ve really improved!—but Aoyama should probably look into some more direct combat training too. Both of your quirks are very distance-oriented, so it’s a good thing to have hand-to-hand ready if you’re stuck in close quarters

Ouran Protag: I’ll definitely look into it

Galinda: what was the tea, Yuuga?

Ouran Protag: .｡*ﾟ+.*.｡(❁´◡`❁)｡.｡:+*

Ouran Protag: the crush kind

Elphaba: I learned plenty more from Gunhead and I can show you nicely or cruelly depending on how you proceed, Aoyama

Ouran Protag: got it moving on

Galinda: damn ura you’re savage

Elphaba: :)

Bone Hurting Juice: @Blutetooth and @Snow White versus Present Mic, how about you two?

Bluetooth: hit me

Snow White: (＾＾)ｂ

Bone Hurting Juice: All of you have sound-related quirks, so it was a different kind of challenge where practicality and strategy meant a lot going into the standoff

Bone Hurting Juice: Jirou’s attempt to drown out Mic might have worked against a different kind of sound quirk. Another option might have been using her support gear/quirk to amplify Kouda’s quirk, rather than her heartbeat.

Bone Hurting Juice: taking any advantage against an opponent—sneaking up on them, playing on their anxieties—is part of strategy. Good keeping the insects underground until the last minute!

Snow White: (⑉・̆⌓・̆⑉)

Bone Hurting Juice: and good work getting over your fear, Kouda! The underground angle might be something worth looking into as well, Jirou—or at least, having noise-cancelling gear, too, so you don’t damage yourself in a hostile situation with loud noises

Bluetooth: huh ok. Maybe I’ll look into a music player to blast, like Kami’s from the support group project, along with noise-cancelling options.

Bone Hurting Juice: @Kermit and @Edgar Allan No versus Ectoplasm?

Edgar Allan No: I would like to hear what you have to say. These are very interesting

Kermit: go for it mido

Bone Hurting Juice: You got it! You two are really well-matched, which I don’t think Ectoplasm expected. Your communication was good, and Tsu’s level head helped Tokoyami and Dark Shadow keep mostly calm despite being in a situation that wasn’t ideal for their skill set. You may want to work with Dark Shadow on daytime tactics?

Bone Hurting Juice: that throw with Dark Shadow and Tsu’s tongue was a great move! Both of you have the advantage of a long reach and extra mobility that way. Tsu you may want to work on more attacks instead of evasion, just so you aren’t overwhelmed in a situation where you’re outnumbered and cornered. Tokoyami, in addition to daytime training, mobility and working on your own physical strength—maybe look into some close range weaponry to take up.

Kermit: huh @Elphaba care to spar with me and teach me some Gunhead methods?

Elphaba: of course!

Edgar Allan No: I will look into what weapons will work best for me. I like the idea of a sword or something traditional like that.

Bone Hurting Juice: then @Mothman and @Sero(tonin) versus Midnight?

Mothman: yeah go ahead

Sero(tonin): lay it on me

Bone Hurting Juice: Capture was not going to be an option for your exam. Not with Midnight’s quirk and leagues of experience over us as students. Keeping your distance was the only way to ensure a win, and Sero has the skillset to keep moving. So really, he should have kept moving out of her range and escaped immediately. Shinsou has mostly hand-to-hand training going for him, so unless he could get her to answer from a distance, knowing his quirk, he had to book it and hope for the best.

Bone Hurting Juice: so how was Sero the one being carried unconscious out of the gate

Sero(tonin): She snuck up on me!

Mothman: a likely story

Bone Hurting Juice: so yeah, it made sense that you were running once she made it clear she was coming after you. And at first I thought moving away from the gate was a bad move, but kudos to you for annoying her into answering you

Mothman: never doubt my ability to irritate an authority figure

Bone Hurting Juice: I won’t anymore!

Bone Hurting Juice: since you were asleep for most of it Sero, I guess my advice would be “be more careful.” Just because your quirk lets you yeet yourself out of situations doesn’t mean you should let yourself get in them in the first place

Sero(tonin): ok fair

Bone Hurting Juice: and Shinsou, honestly, I’d test how specific/vague you need to be to get the results you want out of your quirk, whether it works over calls, whether you need to understand the response, whether it needs to be completely verbalized—in this case, her staying where she was was all you needed, but on long-term operations you may need to give weirder commands than “stay put”

Mothman: ooh I wonder if I can use it over discord

Bone Hurting Juice: let me know!

Mothman: will do

Bone Hurting Juice: @Catch These Hands and @Invisigirl versus Snipe?

Invisigirl: Yup!

Catch These Hands: Go ahead

Bone Hurting Juice: well, Shouji has the opposite problem of Aoyama—you only have close-range in your arsenal, which is not something that’s an advantage against someone like Snipe. Admittedly you were lucky you had Hagakure as your partner—both because of one of the win requirements being running away, which she could do easily, and because of Snipe’s terrible streak of luck when it comes to facing her.

Invisigirl: sad but true

Catch These Hands: I don’t know if a long-range weapon would work out well for me, though—because then I’d have to take up one of my hands to use it

Bone Hurting Juice: so instead of a punching hand it’d be a weapon hand—you’ve already got the advantage of more than the average number of limbs. You could use multiple weapons and still have free spare limbs—capture, targeting, melee—and as long as you coordinated them well enough, all at once. Not everything is accomplished with bare fists—we have support gear for a reason.

Catch These Hands: huh

Catch These Hands: (I’m with Tokoyami a sword sounds dope but I’ll see what works best for me)

Edgar Allan No: a fellow intellectual

Bone Hurting Juice: If Uraraka’s willing, I’d say Hagakure should join in on the sparring, or that she should take up some extra martial arts with Mashirao. You tend to use your quirk for evasion, but it’s incredibly useful for offense, too!

Invisigirl: @Tailed Beast take me to the gym next weekend?

Tailed Beast: you got it babe

Invisigirl: <3

Bone Hurting Juice: @Hangry and @Sharkboy versus Cementoss?

Sharkboy: I’m bracing for a roasting but go for it!

Hangry: ya

Bone Hurting Juice: Well, to be perfectly honest, Cementoss-sensei was a mean option to give you two. You could have passed if you spent more time trying to find a way out than just smashing the walls—finding weak points or getting past them before he could form a new one—and rather than one burst of raging strength, you need to learn how to hold out. How long can you keep going on a sugar rush? How long can you keep your whole body hardened, versus one limb? You may have wanted to have Satou do all the smashing and Kirishima directing him and keeping him from getting caught in a trap. That way, if it came to a head to head fight, Kiri could have enough sense to keep him busy and point Satou in the right direction if he’s still raging, or Satou would figure it out and Kirishima would have the stamina to hold Cementoss off

Sharkboy: It seemed pretty ridiculous in the moment to not try and escape tho

Hangry: admittedly I should have thought some things through while I could

Bone Hurting Juice: So main things: stamina and strategy for you two

Hangry: aye-aye, captain!

Bone Hurting Juice: @Lightning McQueen and @Tailed Beast versus Power Loader?

Lightning McQueen: I would love to hear your observations!

Tailed Beast: sure

Bone Hurting Juice: you made a good team! Bypassing traps and pushing to be sure one of you made it out was smart. You’re the prime agility team, although if it comes down to it Mashirao is more finesse and Iida is more power when it comes to how each of you use your speed. I think it actually might be worth the two of you learning from each other to improve those aspects of your skills!

Tailed Beast: when I’m literally just kid with a tail you expect me to be on par speed wise with a dude with engines for calves?

Bone Hurting Juice: but it was you who outmaneuvered Power Loader! You think fast and precise, which could honestly help Iida a lot with coming up with new moves and with having moves even after his engines are overworked. And Iida can definitely challenge your reflexes even without the exact same training!

Lightning McQueen: Izuku’s right; I definitely think you’re more than a match for me, as you have a lot more versatility.

Tailed Beast: huh

Tailed Beast: @Elphaba you and me tutoring hand-to-hand, expert mode?

Elphaba: bet

Bone Hurting Juice: @Sword Lesbian and @Zuko versus Aizawa?

Sword Lesbian: Yes, of course! Thank you Midoriya!

Zuko: Yes, please tell us what you think.

Bone Hurting Juice: Okay, well, you two finished first! It was really impressive. You had plans going from the beginning, and you adapted when they didn’t pan out. Honestly, you two together are a powerhouse—literally the definition of versatile.

Sero(tonin): please don’t turn this into Todoroki thirst chat hours

Bone Hurting Juice: it’s not! Momo and Shouto both have skill sets that give them a lot of options on how to approach combat

Bone Hurting Juice: which was really necessary, considering it was Aizawa-sensei they were fighting

Bone Hurting Juice: but really it was actually relying heavily on Shouto’s abilities, when Momo could have created a lot more obstacles for Aizawa to deal with—oil slicks, smoke bombs instead of nesting dolls—and that’s just improvements on their existing strategies. A lot of compounds react in specific ways to heat/cold, which would have been and was a major trump card for them together.

Bone Hurting Juice: In order to create more on hand without constantly going back for snacks, I’d actually suggest building up your fat reserves a bit, Momo—that way you’d have a larger capacity overall, but ultimately that’s your thing. I’d also suggest, ironically, not relying solely on your quirk and quick thinking—create difficult and complicated objects outside of combat and keep them on you, rather than waiting for opportunity to strike, and make simpler repetitive objects to add to supplies when in need.

Bone Hurting Juice: And Shouto, you need some subtler moves. Not everything can be solved with a glacier

Sword Lesbian: wow that’s a lot and then Todoroki’s is just that?

Zuko: to be fair most of my training was done by a man who walks around on fire for the aesthetic sometimes

Bone Hurting Juice: fair

Bone Hurting Juice: but also: steam attacks for smokescreen, thin layers of frost to slip opponents up, flares. Not everything has to be a power move to win

Zuko: again, fair

Bone Hurting Juice: which leaves me and Kacchan

PikaPika: you gonna give us the details?

Bone Hurting Juice: I dunno I mean he’s still unconscious

Galinda: It was your exam too! Maybe we can help see any holes in your ideas?

Bone Hurting Juice: sure hold up!

Bone Hurting Juice: well me and @Lavaking versus All Might was . . . interesting?

Bone Hurting Juice: we miiiiight have bickered through the first half of it entirely

PikaPika: does this surprise anyone? No

Bone Hurting Juice: *Kacchan voice* die

Bone Hurting Juice: ANYWAY so All Might is insanely powerful even with the handicap bracelets just fyi and we figured that out pretty quickly while he smashed up the city. Convenient, as we didn’t do the damage when we actually faced him.

Bone Hurting Juice: anyway we’ve never really discussed combo moves and working together so my ideas clashed a lot with his at first. He kept wanting to go cuffs, I kept saying we should run, it was a mess. But eventually I think the main things we need to consider are that Kacchan’s sweat is nitroglycerin whether or not he’s touching it, so making smaller bombs for handoffs and throwing might not be a bad idea because me using one of the bracers was pretty effective

Bone Hurting Juice: also I need to speed up activating my quirk’s fuller capabilities because I kept getting interrupted while trying to be helpful without also breaking more bones. Honestly I have a lot of work to do; main thing Kacchan needs is more speed without propelling via explosion and more teamwork with me so we don’t butt heads and get in the way of ourselves.

Bone Hurting Juice: but srsly we both took actual smashes from All Might and I probably should take a nap

Galinda: jeez Midoriya go to sleep

Lavaking: thanks shitty deku

Bone Hurting Juice: you’re welcome kacchan

Chapter Text

1-GAY

PikaPika: I don’t want to think about grades someone distract me

Bone Hurting Juice: Shouto thought I was All-Might’s secret love child

PikaPika: so?

Sero(tonin):

Tailed Beast:

PikaPika: you’re . . . not?

Bone Hurting Juice: NO

Bone Hurting Juice: WE ARE NOT GENETICALLY OR LEGALLY RELATED

Lavaking: (Deku wishes)

Invisigirl: (so what’s with the constant meetings for lunch)

Lavaking: (Not my problem)

Bone Hurting Juice: please stop gossiping about me in front of my face

Bone Hurting Juice: anyway so the point wasn’t that particular conspiracy theory it was a topic change, which backfired spectacularly

Bone Hurting Juice: you may have heard of Buzzfeed Unsolved

Bone Hurting Juice: but get ready for the actual best thing:

Bone Hurting Juice: Todoroki’s Middle School YouTube Channel

Zuko: you know, I once had a boyfriend, I wonder what happened to him

Lavaking: oh please you only know it because you religiously watched it for your blog

Zuko: blog?

Bone Hurting Juice: Kacchan I stg

Lavaking: heromenagerie.tumblr

Lavaking: he RELIGIOUSLY shared your videos on his page

PikaPika: omg these are great

PikaPika: “Does Best Jeanist Brush His Teeth?” -Todo

PikaPika: “Top 20 Reasons Why All Might Isn’t Actually Overrated” -Mido

Elphaba: omg your little 11-year-old voice Todoroki

Elphaba: I’m dying

Kermit: please don’t

Elphaba: omg I was subscribed to you

Elphaba: let me just re-subscribe real quick

Zuko: ah, so this is the worst timeline

PikaPika: YOU WERE THE ONE WHO MADE THE Y’ALL MIGHT’VE MEME MIDO

PikaPika: I C O N I C

Bone Hurting Juice: uh yeah lol

Bone Hurting Juice: according to him it’s his gc screen name thanks to Mic and I am never, ever telling him it’s my fault that it exists

Sword Lebian: just one thing

Sword Lesbian: Midoriya your blog is still active

Galinda: omg wait a second I follow you???

Galinda: what is this madness

Bne Hurting Juice: O rly? DM me and I’ll follow back

Galinda: guys guys guys

Galinda: ScreenshotOfDeku’sBlog1.png [serious discourse post about quirk discrimination]

Galinda: ScreenshotOfDeku’sBlog2.png [keyboard-smash-ridden pseudo-thirst post about Gang Orca and Miruko being Strong AF in response to a photoshoot/interview]

Galinda: the duality of man

Bone Hurting Juice: I

Bone Hurting Juice: you know what

Bone Hurting Juice: I said what I said

PikaPika: He only spoke the truth tbh

Endeavor Sucks

Teacher Voice: So I was visiting mom last week and told her about my crush on Miruko

Teacher Voice: and her reaction was all “aw sweetie that’s lovely are you thinking of asking her out?”

Teacher Voice: and I got to thinking about how that’s Definitely Not how dad would react, and I kind of had a bit of a spiral and some deep thinking and some googling and

Teacher Voice: I think we should press charges against him for abuse/neglect.

#2 Hawks Stan: holy shit yumi

#2 Hawks Stan: are you sure?

Teacher Voice: part of my thing was thinking about my students and how I’d report any one of their parents for what he pulled. And if Mom could treat me normally, then I wasn’t a special case that deserved what I got because it was better than others. I still think he deserves a chance to change, but that requires him to acknowledge that he needs to. He hasn’t. He needs to see that his actions have actual consequences.

Smol Zuko: ooookay well

Smol Zuko: I haven’t gotten into law stuff at school yet so I don’t know much about what our first steps would be. I think a few of my classmates might have parents that work in law?

Smol Zuko: I would be up for it if the rest of you are. If I see Touya in a shady alley pretending to mug people, I could ask him about it too?

#2 Hawks Stan: oh he’d be all for it.

#2 Hawks Stan: I am too, if you couldn’t tell

Teacher Voice: Do we want to ask mom next group visit what she thinks?

Smol Zuko: oh definitely

Smol Zuko: I don’t know if I’d want to do it if she wasn’t on board

#2 Hawks Stan: true

#2 Hawks Stan: if she isn’t I’ll continue using my Endeavor-bashing twitter for spite purposes and let it be

Smol Zuko: your what

Izucrew

Zuko: So I’ve been talking with Natsuo, Fuyumi, and my mom

Zuko: and after interning with him it really hit home

Zuko: I think I want to tell Aizawa about my family’s situation and maybe open a legal case.

Broccoli: my mom would be able to get in contact with good lawyers if you’d like help!

Zuko: I would like that very much. Could you dm me her contact information?

Broccoli: on it!

Iidad: We’re here for you, Todoroki! And I hate to be presumptuous, but if you need any media help my brother has some close reporter friends.

Zuko: that’d be great

You’ll Float Too: And if you or your siblings need to crash anywhere my place is open and my parents would be cool with it!

Zuko: guys

Zuko: I’m actually crying

Zuko: please stop

Broccoli: NO

Broccoli has changed the name of the chat to “Shouto Protection Squad”

You’ll Float Too: damn straight

Iidad: I agree

1-GAY

Sword Lesbian: who made my half-n-half son cry

Elphaba: !!!

Bone Hurting Juice: we may have showered him with too much support at once

Sword Lesbian: ah

Sword Lesbian: carry on. While you’re at it, grab the weighted blankets I made last time and commence cuddling in Todoroki’s room in approximately five minutes. Izucrew, roll out

Sharkboy: can I join?

Catch These Hands: and me as well?

Bone Hurting Juice: Yes!

Bone Hurting Juice: all are welcome to the Shouto Protection Squad

Zuko: why am I c r y i n g

Sword Lesbian: OMW

Invisigirl: suggestion: we just go to the mall and go batshit

Galinda: ah yes

Galinda: therapy shopping for those of us that failed

Galinda: and celebratory shopping for those that succeeded

Sharkboy: exactly

Bone Hurting Juice: honestly it sounds fun! And we can grab stuff for the training camp while we’re there!

Lightning McQueen: Excellent plan! We could meet at Kiyashi Ward Shopping Mall at ten or so tomorrow—then we could have lunch together at the food court as well!

PikaPika: @all anyone got conflicts?

Zuko: I’m meeting with my siblings that day since Natsuo’s got a break from school

Lavaking: the old hag has me helping with deep cleaning the house this weekend so I’m gonna bow out

Catch These Hands: ah, so the Izucrew and Bakusquad are both down a member

Sword Lesbian: do you want me to grab you anything while I’m out @Zuko?

Zuko: if you see any pajamas/casual clothes I might like, text me a pic?

Sword Lesbian: on it!

Sharkboy: @Lavaking bakubabe need anything for the training camp?

Lavaking: I’m good

Bone Hurting Juice: aw he’s blushing

Lavaking: So Deku, you know how I’m filled with rage?

Bone Hurting Juice: bye

Invisigirl: mall trip mall trip mall trip

Invisigirl: @Tailed Beast help me find some new tops for the training trip?

Tailed Beast: sure!

Lightning McQueen: Meet at the food court at 12:15 or so for lunch everyone! I’ll send a reminder at noon!

Sword Lesbian: thanks Iida!

Kaminari waved towards the nearest hero merch store.

“Come on, guys! Let’s see what heroes they have!” He’d roped Sero, Mina, and Shinsou into coming with him at least this far. Sero immediately started looking for Edgeshot merch, and Mina started in on the Miruko stand looking for a jersey that fit her.

Kaminari was pretty much browsing everywhere, so Shinsou trailed after him.

“And they never have any good Rescue hero merch, so I always end up finding bootleg stuff from fans—” he said, flipping through t-shirts.

“Yeah, I usually commission fans for underground hero stuff,” Shinsou agreed. He squinted over a higher shelf, looking at the enamel pin collection.

“Oh hell yes,” Shinsou grinned, tugging on his collar to pull him away from the shirts. He gestured, presenting the sets of sunglasses. One was Eraserhead themed, and one was Present Mic themed.

“Oh, dope! We should buy them and wear them to the camp!” Kaminari said. Shinsou blinked.

“Uh—they’re married.”

“Yeah, and--? Oh shit,” Kaminari’s face was turning redder by the second. “Uh—well. This may be the worst way for me to tell you I have a very big gay crush on you? Be the Aizawa to my Mic?” he asked, handing him the Eraserhead sunglasses. Shinsou looked back and forth between the sunglasses and Kaminari’s face before sighing.

“Dammit, that was cheesy, but it was also really fucking cute. Yeah, okay.” Before Kaminari could respond, he pecked him on the forehead and took the pair of sunglasses.

The kiss left his lips buzzing a bit—whether from excitement, or from Kaminari discharging in his nervousness, he couldn’t say. He was too busy fending off a squealing Mina and trying not to let Sero’s ribbing make him blush.

This Family is a Nightmare

Purple Son: so uh

Purple Son: erasermicthesequel.png

Purple Son: I have a datemate please don’t freak out?

Sleep Dad: huh

Sleep Dad: I thought you had a crush on Midoriya

Purple Son: I do but also Kaminari is cute and adorkable

Scream Dad: CONGRATS OMG YOU TWO ARE SO CUTE

Sleep Dad: it is too damn early for caps lock

Purple Son: it’s almost lunchtime?

Sleep Dad: it’s always too early for caps lock

Purple Son: valid

1-GAY

Bone Hurting Juice shared their location!

Hangry: what’s up deku?

PikaPika: o shit not again

Elphaba: omw I’m closest

Elphaba: it was fucking Shigaraki holy shit

Sero(tonin): goddamn

Bone Hurting Juice: I’m really sick and tired of villains approaching me and being creepily attached to me I’d like it to stop thanks

Bone Hurting Juice: like if I had a nickel for every time that happened, I’d have two nickels

Bone Hurting Juice: which isn’t a lot but it’s weird that it happened twice

Bone Hurting Juice: like Stain was a fanatic, clearly. Shigaraki I think just wants to kill All Might? Along with whatever other aimless weird destructive shit he has going

Sword Lesbian: that being said, you’ve used the location feature twice in emergency situations, and it’s actually really helpful that you were able to get backup

Sword Lesbian: @all I’d like everyone to follow this procedure: if you send your location, no explanation, we’ll assume it’s a villain emergency and come running. You should explain immediately before or after otherwise. Have your notifications for this chat set so that it pings you all location sharing no matter what, because that very well may have saved some of our lives, and could in the future.

Bluetooth: will do!

Edgar Allan No: this does seem like a good tactic, especially since we’re so often targeted

Galinda: ugh and no sign of hand man. he probably used the teleportation member to gtfo

Bone Hurting Juice: well, anyone got anything interesting at the mall before we were so rudely interrupted by the man that needs so much chapstick?

PikaPika: Hitoshi?

Mothman: Denki?

PikaPika: WE’RE DATEMATES

Mothman: what they said

Bone Hurting Juice: OMG congrats!!!

Elphaba: Aw you two are adorable

Mothman: erasermic2.png

PikaPika: our senseis 2, electric boogaloo

Invisigirl: askjdfkdl

League of Assholes

Jazz Hands: @Dadgiri thank you for the escape

Dadgiri: as usual: you’re welcome, don’t do anything like that again, I need some sake, good night

Bluedabadi: It’s three in the afternoon?

Dadgiri: I need some sake good night

Bluedabadi: fair

Yandere: what did little broccoli head say, Shiggy?

Jazz Hands: Essentially that the League seems like it doesn’t have a goal that people can relate to and Stain did

Jazz Hands: so it looks like we’ll be doing a bit of PR along with everything else

Unknown Contact >>>>> Keigo Takami

Unknown: You ready, Kei?

Keigo: Let’s put on a show.

League of Assholes

Jazz Hands: Dabi you’re in charge of the wing asshole out front

Yandere: His wings are so red tho! Some blood would match uwu

YesNo: be careful

YesNo: kick his ass

Dadgiri: Maybe you should be clearer, Shigaraki-kun.

Jazz Hands: I don’t trust any of you but Dabi’s a competent fighter. You’ll be able to tell if he’s useful and if he’s not you have the ability to leave no evidence.

Bluedabadi: gee, thanks

Bluedabadi: but yeah I’ll fry up some chicken if he becomes an issue

Dadgiri: please don’t say it like that

Jazz Hands: please do

“So, what’s the number two hero doing around this shitty old bar, huh?” asked Dabi, glaring at Hawks.

“Can’t a guy take a break for a drink?” he drawled. “I’m off-duty. Gotta take advantage while I can, right?” Dabi raised a brow.

“After all, the Commission doesn’t exactly give me a lot of breaks.”

Dabi stared him down further. They’d planned enough to know about their limits with one another, but Dabi had had to keep his persona unexpected for his boyfriend—otherwise they would be glaringly obvious.

“And why would I give a fuck about the Commission?” he lit a hand up, not even wincing as the flames prickled against his skin. He’d forgone a lot of his burn treatments and support gear for the op. Too obvious.

Still sucked though.

“You wouldn’t, given the crowd you hang with, Dabi,” he said. “But I do, because I hate them. I want in.”

He blinked. That—didn’t sound exactly like the character angle Hawks had originally planned on, but he could admit, it was effective.

“Huh. So you’re an angel of the fallen variety, huh?” he grinned, letting a nasty snarl bubble up in his tone.

Hawks just shrugged.

“Can I come in for a drink? And then maybe have a bit of an information exchange? None of that could hurt, right?”

True. If Hawks weren’t in the top ten, they’d all just jump him—if he weren’t alone, they’d scatter. What he was offering was huge, potentially traceable to him. Just the right amount of bait.

“All right. One drink, one chat. We’ll see how far this goes. Just be careful, birdie,” he said, flaring his fire in a pulse before dousing it. He turned on his heel and led Hawks into the bar.

Hawks >>>>> Miruko

Hawks: I’m in

Miruko: be safe, kfc

Hawks: I’ll do what I can

Chapter Text

1-GAY

Tailed Beast: bus ride bus ride bus ride

Edgar Allan No: are

Edgar Allan No: are you ok Mashirao

Tailed Beast: yup I just haven’t gone on a road trip so long in a long time! I used to go on all sorts of trips when I was younger with my dad and this is a long one

PikaPika: oh same my mom would take me all over America it was fun

Sharkboy: me with my moms too! Yo does anyone have a movie to play?

Bone Hurting Juice: I’ve got all the seasons of Avatar

Bluetooth: BET

Lightning McQueen: we’re coming up on a rest stop! Please be back by 10:30

PikaPika: yo I’m gonna troll Monoma their bus caught up with us

Sword Lesbian: I’m telling Ibara not to stop him if he shocks you

PikaPika: :(

Elphaba: I have snacks for everyone when we get back on!

Sero(tonin): Ura I love you

Invisigirl: rt

Catch These Hands: anyone ever design their own merch or

Catch These Hands: am I the only one wondering what a Red Riot pop figure would look like

Sero(tonin): sharp but also baby just like the real one

Catch These Hands: fair enough

Sharkboy: omg

Sharkboy: but

Sharkboy: I’ve thought about this bro

Sharkboy: because lets face it a Tentacole snuggie would be dope

Sharkboy: like a big ol hug

Catch These Hands: can I keep that idea?

Sharkboy: duh as long as I get one when you make them

Edgar Allan No: imagine the shark-themed Red Riot plushies

Lavaking: I would buy a hundred

Sharkboy: !!!

Bone Hurting Juice: and collectible Creati matryoshka would be dope too

Hangry: hey @Bluetooth don’t you have a band? Because hero soundtracks sound really dope

Bluetooth: dammit satou we were gonna have a surprise concert at the camp

Bluetooth: now everyone knows

Ouran Protag: I mean

Ouran Protag: all the significant others know. It was bound to happen mon ami

Bluetooth: fair but also imagine the looks on everyone’s faces when we Do The Thing

Ouran Protag: true

Ouran Protag: but might as well say it?

Bluetooth: may I turn your attention to my band

Bluetooth: @Lavaking @Ouran Protag @Catch These Hands @Invisigirl

Bluetooth: Everyone but Aoyama does vocals some of the time, Bakugou’s on drums, Shouji’s on keys, Aoyama does lights/choreo/bass, Hagakure does guitar with me. Aoyama and Bakugou do costume design together too

Bone Hurting Juice: you still play drums Kacchan? I thought you quit!

Lightning McQueen: this is an excellent surprise! If you ever need recording space, my family has a studio available and I’d be happy to offer it!

Bluetooth: wow I’ll probably take you up on that

PikaPika: do you have a band name?

PikaPika: if not of course I have suggestions

Bluetooth: nope

Bluetooth: the one (1) time you were good at naming things was your hero name

Bluetooth: after that I don’t trust you with it

PikaPika: aww

Bluetooth: this is the one who wanted to make Bakugou’s hero name some version of “mushroom cloud”

Bluetooth: I repeat:

Bluetooth: no

Galinda: but the real question is do you have albums made already and can we hear stuff

Bluetooth: I brought our instruments for a reason! Aizawa said there’d be downtime at some point

Bone Hurting Juice: be prepared to be exhausted tho

Bone Hurting Juice: we’re doing three blocks of work a day (breakfast, train, lunch, train, dinner, train, bed) for the first seven days, then six days a week for the rest of the camp

Bone Hurting Juice: it’s brutal

Tailed Beast: big yikes

Tailed Beast: my cousin Fuu is in university marching band and does that much training for a week. I texted her a screenshot of that text and she just said “rip you lol”

Sero(tonin): marching band? What does she do?

Tailed Beast: Color guard! Spins flags/rifle/saber and can do some pretty insane tricks with them actually

Tailed Beast: and knowing how active she is? And what kind of stuff we do for training normally? We’re going to be pretty drained by the end of this

Sharkboy: how do you know the schedule mido?

Bone Hurting Juice:

Lavaking: you wrote up the training regimen didn’t you

Bone Hurting Juice: I only gave suggestions! Principal Nezu, Vlad King, and Aizawa were the ones to make the schedule; I just gave them more detailed analysis from training and everything

PikaPika: you’ve killed us deku

Galinda: quit telling everyone I’m dead

PikaPika: sometimes I can still hear Mina’s voice

Bone Hurting Juice: I can’t win here can I

Galinda: did you at least also get assigned 1B?

Bone Hurting Juice: oh ya I have reports on their quirks too. There might be some combo training between classes

Ouran Protag: !!!

Ouran Protag: I’ll be able to train with my boyfriend, you say??

Galinda: BOYFRIEND?

Ouran Protag: oui

Ouran Protag: tetsutetsu

Sharkboy: BRO

Sharkboy: how did I not know this?

Ouran Protag: despite my sparkling personality, I did want to keep the relationship private for some time

Ouran Protag: but he and I both agreed to be public before year 2!

Sharkboy: so manly

Mothman: my datemate is adorable

Mothman: discuss

Galinda: LOUDER FOR THE PEOPLE IN THE BACK

Sharkboy: TRUTH

PikaPika: aiutkvff

PikaPika: stahp

Sero(tonin): my best friend in his fucking jolteon onsie not accepting that he’s cute?

Sero(tonin): more likely than you’d think

PikaPika: okay but are we ignoring my boyfriend because

PikaPika: slep.png [a selfie taken on the bus on the way to training camp. Denki is wearing a jolteon onsie; Hitoshi is wearing an espeon onsie]

Bone Hurting Juice: MQWEFNKHIUEWIR

Zuko: dammit you two broke my boyfriend

Kermit: @Sword Lesbian can you pass the water bottles up to the front? I don’t want to wake anyone up from their naps crawling back there

Sword Lesbian: np!

Catch These Hands: I’m fuckin ded

PikaPika: same tho

Galinda: saaaame

Mothman: I was already dead inside so nothing new here

Bone Hurting Juice: mood

Edgar Allan No: mood

Sharkboy: are . . . are you guys ok?

Bone Hurting Juice: nope!

Lavaking: ugh

Lavaking: they don’t even have a decent kitchen how am I supposed to cook

Lavaking: smh

Hangry: I feel you there

Sword Lesbian: let’s just . . . go to sleep

Bone Hurting Juice: I stg if I have to listen to monoma complain about us one more time I’m going to Detroit Smash him into the sun

Elphaba: I’ll help! >:(

Galinda: wow Midoriya tell us how you really feel

Bone Hurting Juice: my quirk is weird not only for coming in late but there are aspects of it I still don’t understand so I can’t make progress like I’d like to and I feel like I’ll fall behind everyone and also I am very, very tired because I couldn’t sleep last night bc nightmares and oh have I mentioned my anxiety levels have skyrocketed???

Galinda: that was rhetorical bud

Mothman: uh

Mothman: mido?

Bone Hurting Juice: I am going to lie down now

PikaPika: ah so that’s why Midoriya burst into tears and passed out after dinner

Sword Lesbian: I propose we do a de-stress group thing tomorrow night. We’ve been running on all cylinders without breaks for a bit.

Shouto>>>>>Izuku

Shouto: do you need cuddles?

Izuku: yeah I also apparently left my anxiety meds at home like a dumbass

Shouto: what do you take?

Izuku: prescription.png

Izuku: but I just have to tough out the week until I can get my pills in the mail

Shouto: one moment

Todoroki>>>>>Aizawa, Momo

Todoroki: Izuku doesn’t have his anxiety medication for the week; apparently left it at home

Todoroki: any chance Momo could recreate the pills if she had the prescription information?

Momo: I’ve done it before for my uncle in a pinch. I would only do it if the need was dire, but clearly it is if the gc is anything to go by

Todoroki: midofreakingout.jpg

Todoroki: prescription.png

Aizawa: be very fucking careful about the chemical makeup of these

Aizawa: I don’t want Midoriya to have any reactions. It will only be for this week.

Momo: you can count on me!

Shouto>>>>>Izuku

Shouto: on my way with cuddles and meds

Izuku: ????

Izuku: what

Shouto: momo made them

Izuku: !!!!!

Izuku: I’m crying come here

Shouto: at your door

1-GAY

PikaPika: lol I just saw Todoroki flat out zoom down the hall to Midoriya’s room

PikaPika: the boy is fast

Mothman: go to sleep, Denki

Bone Hurting Juice: sorry about the freakout yesterday

Bone Hurting Juice: Anxiety™ does that to me sometimes

Snow White: ^^^

Mothman: rt

Mothman: except I kinda go stone cold quiet instead of rambling

Mothman: but yeah understandable

Bone Hurting Juice: really???

Bone Hurting Juice: I thought I was the only one huh

League of Assholes

Bluedabadi has added KFC to the chat!

Bluedabadi: welcome to hell

Jazz Hands: I want to tell you no

Jazz Hands: and yet

KFC: holy shit ok

KFC: can I get introductions @all?

KFC: I’m Pro Hero Hawks, and I am concerned

Dadgiri: Kurogiri. I try to keep things organized around here.

Actual Child: mustard

One-Eyed Jack: Muscular

Jazz Hands: Shigaraki

Yandere: Himiko Toga!

Yandere: OwO

YesNo: Twice is my name. I use he/they

YesNo: Why should I tell you?

Houdini: Mr. Compress, if you please

Mag: Magne. She/her.

Bluedabadi: Dabi. As you know.

KFC: ah ok

KFC: so

KFC: why am I here?

Jazz Hands: at least here I can contact you directly and know what information you’re getting

Jazz Hands: We’ll be giving you a mission and that will determine whether you meet with Sensei and confirm your membership.

Jazz Hands: Dabi’s going to be in charge of a team for an upcoming mission, so he can’t always be your babysitter at the same time

Jazz Hands: speaking of, Dabi, you’re with me and Kurogiri. We have plans to discuss.

Endeavor Sucks

#2 Hawks Stan: I have Updates™ from Hawks about the situation!

Teacher Voice: oh thank god I’ve been worried sick

Smol Zuko: tell us!

#2 Hawks Stan: SO

#2 Hawks Stan: the League defo trusts Touya aka “Dabi” enough for him to run a big mission this summer and Hawks is feeding his hero teammates info as necessary. And once he completes it he’s going to get a “reward” by way of meeting Shigaraki’s so-called Sensei and more involvement in general

#2 Hawks Stan: depending on the outcome of the mission they’ll both extend it or nope out in dramatic fashion

Smol Zuko: That at least defines when they’ll be done more: this summer or a long time after

Smol Zuko: given that the League has often targeted my class it’s 50/50 that Touya’s planning an attack on me and my friends rn

Smol Zuko: so that’s fun

#2 Hawks Stan: o shit I didn’t even think of that

Smol Zuko: yeah it’s actually funny given what he knows about them vs what the league needs

Smol Zuko: lure Shouto in with cold soba or strawberries

Smol Zuko: Uraraka doesn’t like the word “moist,” use as intimidation tactic

Teacher Voice: that does make me feel a little better

Smol Zuko: it also means I get to make fun of his edgelord villain costume when it’s all over bc I’ll see it. Hell I’ll dress up as Dabi for Halloween

#2 Hawks Stan: oh dope I like that idea

Teacher Voice: I don’t

#2 Hawks Stan: well you’re outvoted

Teacher Voice: ugh

Teacher Voice: this is also going to be awkward timing for the trial. Virtual interviews have been helpful for the pretrial meetings given all of our schedules, and he definitely has been trying to keep it quiet and hasn’t been an asshole about the proceedings

Smol Zuko: true.

#2 Hawks Stan: yeah. He’s still gonna plead not guilty on the stand though

Smol Zuko: Any word on Mom’s condition for the trial, yumi?

Teacher Voice: She’s pretty stable, so she should be able to be there. She moved out of the hospital with her carer last month, so that is definitely a point in her favor. It’s mostly between her choice and her therapist’s approval at this point.

#2 Hawks Stan: crossing my fingers

1-GAY

Sero(tonin): ok wow uh

Sero(tonin): and I thought Midoriya and Bakugou fighting against each other was intense

Galinda: o ya

Galinda: you two are scary as hell together @Lavaking @Bone Hurting Juice

Bone Hurting Juice: ha I guess we just know each other too well? It was a good way to get through the exercise quickly

Sword Lesbian: that is abundantly clear

Izuku>>>>>Shouto

Izuku: I think I want to confess to the rest of my crushes

Shouto: okay. Do you want me to be there?

Izuku: I would! But I was also wondering how you’re feeling about them in general. I know you said you weren’t sure about being poly yourself, and I wouldn’t want to initiate anything you’re uncomfortable with!

Shouto: No, I’m definitely comfortable with you having more than one partner

Shouto: I just don't know whether I'm poly myself. I might want to date them too? But I'm not sure if it's platonic or romantic affection I'm getting.

Izuku: i'm sure they'll understand if you explain it that way!

1-GAY

Bone Hurting Juice: @Zuko @Mothman @Lavagirl @Sharkboy @PikaPika could you all come to my room for a second

Bakugou and Kirishima got to his room just after Shouto, followed by Kaminari and Shinsou a minute later. Everyone sat down around Izuku while Shouto held his hand. He’d dithered for a bit, asking how they were, making small talk.

“Hey, man, are you all right? What’s up?” asked Kirishima, interrupting him before he went too far on a tangent. Izuku took a deep breath.

“Remember how I’m poly?” he said. “Do you guys know how that works?”

“You want to have multiple relationships,” Shinsou guessed.

“Basically,” he nodded. “The same way people can like different genders, or have different romantic or sexuality related needs, I like more than one person. And I invited you all here because, uh, I have a crush on all of you. And I wanted to see, well, what you might think of that? You obviously don’t have to get together with me! And if your boyfriend is interested but you aren’t, we can talk about what to do about it, and—”

“Calm down, Izuku,” Shouto said, putting a hand on his shoulder.

“Huh,” Kaminari said, slouching over to put his elbows on his knees and his head in his hands. “I don’t think I’m really poly myself, but I’d be cool with Shinsou dating you and me? And with like, friend dates with you guys. Shinsou, how’re you feeling about it?”

He sighed.

“Look, I’ve had a crush on Midoriya for pretty much since the Sports Festival. I don’t know yet about a relationship with the rest of you, but I’d definitely be willing to see if it’s possible? I mean, what do you think, Denki—would that be something you’d really be okay with?” Kaminari nodded.

“Oh yeah! How’re you feeling Bakugou? Kiri?”

Kirishima blinked.

“Oh, I mean—I might be poly too? I think? I think you guys are all really great, and I’m up for trying with pretty much all of you. But only if Bakugou’s okay with it—I’m already his boyfriend, you know?” Which left Bakugou. Everyone turned to face him. He scowled.

“You’re serious about this?” he asked, looking Izuku in the eye.

“Yes,” he nodded. “I really do like you. But don’t feel pressure if it makes you uncomfortable, Kacchan—”

“It—doesn’t,” he said haltingly. “I. I like you and Icyhot fine, too. Might like eyebags if I get to know him. But if I fuck up, you gotta tell me. I can’t—you can’t let me be like I was. Call me out if I’m shitty. And I’ll back off.” Izuku wasn’t smiling, locking eyes with Bakugou.

“That goes for everyone.”

“Shit, yeah. I just have a history of being a shitty person, so, you know.”

Then Izuku smiled blindingly.

“Then I’d love to be your boyfriend, Kacchan!”

“How are you feeling about this, Todoroki?” asked Shinsou.

“I’d be okay trying to date all of you that want to date Izuku, and we’ll see if it works. I don’t know if I’m poly or not yet, but I want to see if that’s the case. If it’s not, I’ll probably be in the same position as Kaminari—friends with my boyfriend’s boyfriends.”

Izuku nodded.

“So, what is everyone’s perspective then? Just to be sure we’re all on the same page! If I understand right, I’m dating everyone but Kaminari?”

“Same,” Shouto nodded.

“Yeah! Kami’s still my bro though!”

“I’m dating everyone here,” Shinsou said, a little bit of a smirk on his face.

“I’m with everyone but Pikachu,” Bakugou said.

“I’m dating Shinsou, and everyone else is dating him,” Kaminari said. He frowned.

“Is that—is that okay that I’m not the only one dating you all?”

“That’s definitely fine,” Kirishima said. “Are you okay with us all dating?”

“Yes, of course! Just—”

“Then why wouldn’t we be okay with you being our friend?” asked Shouto. Kaminari blinked.

“You think of me as a friend?”

“You are the only one that entertains my theories,” he said blandly. “Even Izuku can’t really deal. Of course you’re my friend!”

Izuku has created a chat!

Izuku has added 5 to the chat!

Izuku has renamed the chat “Six Gays in a Room Bitching”

Denki: I approve

Denki has changed their name to “Jolteon”

Jolteon has changed Izuku’s name to “Leafeon”

Jolteon has changed Hitoshi’s name to “Espeon”

Jolteon has changed Shouto’s name to “Glaceon”

Jolteon has changed Katsuki’s name to “Flareon”

Jolteon has changed Eijirou’s name to “Sylveon”

Jolteon: there’s no rock or dragon type eevee evolution :(

Sylveon: no problem bro Sylveon’s my fave!

Jolteon: I hoped so!

Flareon: this is not as shitty as it could have been

Sylveon: ilysm

Flareon: i

1-GAY

PikaPika: my boyfriend now has many boyfriends!

Mothman: it’s true

PikaPika: I’m still mad there isn’t a dragon or rock type eeveelution tho

Galinda: why? Also congrats Shinsou!

Mothman: ty

PikaPika: because the boyfriends’ group chat is all eeveelutions and I couldn’t pick something like that for kiri

Sharkboy: don’t worry I already told you Sylveon’s my fave!

PikaPika: STILL

PikaPika: they need to make eeveelutions for all the types it would be so dope

PikaPika: IMAGINE a ghost eeveelution!

Sero(tonin): he has a point

Edgar Allan No: he does

Invisigirl: WAIT was that what Midoriya was asking you all to come to his room for???

Bone Hurting Juice: I now have four boyfriends :D

Elphaba: omg

Elphaba: our sunshine broccoli child has a harem @Lightning McQueen @Kermit

Kermit: nah that would only be if they were all just dating him and not combinations of each other as well

Lightning McQueen: I

Lightning McQueen: I have so many questions

Elphaba: you should probably direct them to the dekusquad chat

Elphaba: just fyi

Lightning McQueen: probably a good idea

Galinda: wait

Galinda: @Elphaba THE BETTING POOL you gotta take care of that!!!

Elphaba: o shit u right

Bone Hurting Juice: I was hoping people forgot about that tbh

Galinda: when there’s money on the line? You wish lol

Bone Hurting Juice: fair

Chapter Text

1-GAY

Elphaba: @Bone Hurting Juice I’m still kinda salty you helped design the hell training btw

Bone Hurting Juice: I’ve made adjustments in my findings! Also Support is gonna be makin us all new suits as well so when we get back it’s going to be completely different

Bone Hurting Juice: I’m not exempt from the hell training btw so if I suffer you all suffer with me

PikaPika: isn’t Nezu running you ragged with the whole “assess the quirks” thing tho

Bone Hurting Juice: I mean not really?

Bone Hurting Juice: I do that for fun anyway

Sword Lesbian: uh what

Bone Hurting Juice: yeah remember how I’m a huge fanboy?

Lavaking: like we could ever forget. He has entire notebooks filled with analysis and is digitizing everything too. Pretty much if he and Nezu got in a room with his notebooks, we’d all be fucked

Bone Hurting Juice: but instead I’m using my hobby to help! This is like fanboying over my friends

Bone Hurting Juice: so yeah

Edgar Allan No has added Dark Shadow to the chat!

Dar k Shadow has changed their name to “Ebony Dark’ness”

Bone Hurting Juice: holy shit

Bone Hurting Juice: hi dark shadow???

Ebony Dark’ness: hewwo

Edgar Allan No: I regret

PikaPika: is this real life?

Sero(tonin): is this just fantasy?

Elphaba: this is a disaster is what it is

Catch These Hands: Dark Shadow! Hi!

Ebony Dark’ness: Shouji!!! Hi!!!

Lavaking: I can pretty much hear deku vibrating with questions from here

Bone Hurting Juice: s h u t

Ebony Dark’ness: I don’t mind!

Edgar Allan No: I don’t either. Your advice so far has been very helpful in getting stronger communication between the two of us.

Bone Hurting Juice: I’ll dm you; no rush!

Ebony Dark’ness: but for now I think I’ll leave since I read Tokoyami’s texts

Ebony Dark’ness has left the chat

PikaPika: oh Midoriya? I’ve got something fun:

PikaPika: you know how quirks meld weirdly together in kids? What quirks do you think various combos of our class would create?

Bone Hurting Juice: huh

Bone Hurting Juice: we really doing this?

PikaPika: a b s o l u t e l y

Lavaking: my “kaminari is encouraging stupid” senses were tingling

Sword Lesbian: it’s fairly harmless in this case at least

PikaPika: rood

Bone Hurting Juice: ok how are we doing this?

PikaPika: we throw a pairing and you tell us what quirk babies would come from it. we’re ignoring male/female binary restrictions for the sake of fun

Mothman: ah, business as usual then

Bone Hurting Juice: ok let’s go then

PikaPika: Hagakure and Yaoyorozu

Bone Hurting Juice: . . . huh

Invisigirl: ok now I’m curious

Sword Lesbian: this’ll be fascinating for sure

Bone Hurting Juice: well, it depends on what genes would pass over—that is, whether the refraction of light or whether the physical body being the effect would be the part that is passed down? Since Hagakure can’t, for example, make other people invisible. And Momo’s power is so versatile! It’d probably deal with consumption of energy, maybe to make other people/objects invisible for a length of time depending on how much the kid ate? Or an emitter quirk that projects light/energy somehow, kinda like Aoyama’s lasers, but with different parameters!

Sword Lesbian: nice

Invisigirl: oh cool!

PikaPika: next! Someone else throw out some names!

Galinda: hold up let me just get a random number generator and I’ll use our seat numbers

Galinda: Bakugou and Jirou

Bone Hurting Juice: oooh

Bone Hurting Juice: Well, Kacchan’s quirk is twofold—that he secretes nitroglycerin and that he can ignite it. Likewise, Jirou can plug in and control her heartbeat and listen in on things, so—well, again, it depends. Maybe something about sweat/adrenaline/energy output resulting in concussive blasts? Or something more chemical-based, with earlobes as the central area that it comes from?

Bluetooth: the first option is literally a kid that can drop the bass and demolish stuff, dope

Lavaking: huh okay. What about Ei and I?

Sharkboy: ooh I was wondering!!!

Bone Hurting Juice: Could go multiple ways! Since it’s contact/skin/sweat-based, I’d say either an explosive shield or some sort of volatile projectile emitter. I’m more inclined to think something protective/melee based. Maybe sparking on impact?

Galinda: Ooh the next one’s fun

Sharkboy: that’s really cool Izuku!

Lavaking: not a bad thought

Galinda: Ojirou and Satou!

Bone Hurting Juice: so! Super strength activated by eating a particular substance plus a tail mutation? Probably either an alteration to the substance and a tail added to the super strength, or just overall a really, really strong tail.

Tailed Beast: @Hangry our kid is me, but buffer

Hangry: @Tailed Beast our kid is me, but a furry

Tailed Beast:

PikaPika: can I get an f in the chat

Galinda: f

Elphaba: f

Sero(tonin): f

Galinda: now on to Shinsou and Tokoyami!

Edgar Allan No: oh no

Edgar Allan No:

Edgar Allan No: is he still typing

Mothman: *laughs* I’m in danger

Mothman:

Bone Hurting Juice: well, it’s interesting because Tokoyami has a really extensive mutation quirk in addition to the internal psychological aspect involved with Dark Shadow, while Shinsou’s is entirely an external psychological quirk. Taking some of the mutation into account, the kid would probably at least have some bird traits—feathers for hair, maybe talons, maybe wings, even if Tokoyami didn’t have all of those features. Then, there’s the question of how Brainwashing and Dark Shadow would interact. Leaning more into Shinsou’s side may suggest an auditory trigger for a shadow to appear, or that rather than being a physical attack/defense entity, it influences an opponent. Then we would have to factor in whether the light and darkness factors that affect Dark Shadow would affect the strength of this quirk!

Bone Hurting Juice: So essentially, I think partial mutation, and a Dark-Shadow-like personality that either affects motor control or thought process of opponents

Edgar Allan No: that was

Mothman: a lot?

Edgar Allan No: yeah

Bone Hurting Juice: Sorry!!

Mothman: don’t be honestly it’s interesting

Mothman: what about you and me?

Bone Hurting Juice: huh

Bone Hurting Juice: I don’t know? Partially because of how fucky my quirk is. I mean that genuinely; I’m not certain what aspects of it could transfer to a kid, theoretically.

Elphaba: did you just call your quirk

Elphaba: “fucky”

Bone Hurting Juice: . . . yes?

Zuko: what’s confusing about it? You were worried about it before, I remember. Maybe we can help? We’re not you-level quirk analyists, but sometimes it helps to have an outside view?

Bone Hurting Juice: hhh

Midoriya Izuku>>>>>Yagi Toshinori

Izuku: quirkdiscussion.jpg

Izuku: should I tell them? I mean at this point I trust all of them super well and Kacchan knows anyway and

Toshinori: If you trust them, then you must do what is best for the situation.

Izuku: it’s just, it’s not entirely my secret to tell, and I wanted to be sure you were okay with it!

Toshinori: It is your secret as much as mine, young Midoriya, and I gave you my power for good reason. I trust you to make the right choice!

Izuku: awohurdk

Izuku: Thank you! That means a lot!

1-GAY

Bone Hurting Juice: if you were wondering what that pause was, it was me getting permission to talk about my quirk. It’s hugely, hugely classified stuff. I’m serious. If you don’t want to be in the know, put the chat on mute and I’ll delete the messages afterwards. Got it, @all?

Lavaking: holy shit are you going to tell them?

Bone Hurting Juice: Yeah. I have a feeling that everyone has the right to know more of the full story, considering the villains attacking us may be connected, at least motive-wise.

Galinda: this sounds huge, Mido—are you sure you want to be telling us this?

Bone Hurting Juice: I trust you all. It’s not only my secret to tell, so I got permission, but it’s my secret too, and I want to tell you.

Edgar Allan No: A grim conversation to be had, then.

PikaPika: Yikes. Okay, Izuku, whatever you’ve got to say, we’re listening.

Bone Hurting Juice: got it, now that everyone’s online. Don’t interrupt until I get to now, because it’s a long story.

Bone Hurting Juice: So, a long time ago, before people really regulated quirks, there was a man with a quirk that could take and distribute others’ quirks. No one actually knows his name, but his villain persona and his quirk are the same title: All for One.

Bone Hurting Juice: he stockpiled quirks and was exceedingly dangerous. He had a quirkless younger brother that wanted to stop him, but couldn’t exactly act on it. All for One decided he’d give his brother one of the quirks he’d found—a power-stockpiling quirk. Except his brother did have a quirk, just not a noticeable one—one that he could pass on to someone else. That mutated with the power stockpile and became the quirk now known as One for All—a quirk that, when given to the next user, adds all the power of the user before it.

Bone Hurting Juice: the brother failed to defeat All for One, but he chose a successor to continue the fight. All for One has a longevity and a healing quirk somewhere in his arsenal, so he’s lived hundreds of years. The second user didn’t defeat him. Neither did the third or fourth. And onwards. But they kept passing it along, their quirks along with it. The oldest user you might know about already, the seventh, was known as Nana Shimura. She was incredibly strong, but do you know who she took on as a successor? A quirkless kid named Yagi Toshinori.

Bone Hurting Juice: he was already training all he could to be a hero, and she thought he could take over after her. She died fighting All for One. Her student became the Symbol of Peace, better known as All Might.

Bone Hurting Juice: during a fight with a villain, All Might was critically injured, and he can only keep up his more powerful form for a limited time without rest. He joined the UA staff to look for a successor, but something happened a bit before exams.

Bone Hurting Juice: I’m gonna diverge here a little bit

Bone Hurting Juice: at the age of 4, I was diagnosed as quirkless. Pinky toe joint and all. I had always, always wanted to be a hero. You might be able to imagine the bullying that ensued. And yeah, that’s why Kacchan started to call me “Deku”

Bone Hurting Juice: remember that big sludge villain attack? Well, they had attacked me in an alleyway, and All Might had saved me. I kinda latched onto him and asked him if someone like me—quirkless—could be a hero. He told me no, I had to be realistic (after all, he was having to look into retirement and quirklessness himelf. It was shitty, but not entirely unjustified at the time)

Bone Hurting Juice: Apparently the villain got loose again and attacked Kacchan. A bunch of heroes on the scene didn’t have quirks suited for the villain, and All Might was low on time, so everyone was waiting. I couldn’t just stand there. It was like my body moved before I could think! Anyway, All Might was impressed with me and decided to take me on to be the next user. I trained with him for months to be sure my body could handle the strength of One for All (still working on that, obvi) and my first major use of it was the entrance exam, where I shattered a 0-pointer and my arm

Bone Hurting Juice: All Might thinks the League of Villains and the Noumus may be connected to All for One, but he’s not sure.

Bone Hurting Juice: all right I’m done

PikaPika:

PikaPika: what the Fuck

Galinda: you were quirkless???

Galinda: All Might was quirkless???

Catch These Hands: your bone-breaking tendencies make a lot more sense now

Zuko: welp

Zuko: my conspiracy board on the love child theory did not account for this

Bone Hurting Juice: asdfjk

Bone Hurting Juice: that was not the reaction I thought I’d get

Lightning McQueen: is that why you so easily injure yourself with it, then?

Bone Hurting Juice: yeah, I can only use a small percentage at a time, and I haven’t accessed previous users’ quirks beyond the strength enhancement itself. I can safely do about 8% in a pinch; the bone-breaking incidents were definitely higher-level moves.

Lavaking: so some shitty villain is out there probably looking to kill All Might and you then?

Bone Hurting Juice: I don’t know what he wants specifically but yeah probably

Catch These Hands: fucking hell mido

Ouran Protag: hey first day off is tomorrow. Does everyone want to just have a self-care day and not work? I’ve got supplies

Hangry: me too; we can definitely bake up some comfort food

Sword Lesbian: I understand this is a lot to process, and that we’ve had a trying time already, so I'm on board. Aoyama, Satou, that sounds like an excellent plan. Early to bed tonight if you can help it everyone, and laze about as you like tomorrow. We’ll have fun, watch cartoons/movies, snack, stretch out soreness, pamper each other—like we honestly deserve.

Blutooth: agreed

Zuko has changed the name of Shouto Protection Squad to “Izuku Protection Squad”

Zuko: Izuku do you need cuddles?

Zuko: @Broccoli

Broccoli: honestly

Broccoli: I kinda want to be with the datemates tonight so could you call them all up to my room? Denki’s invited too if he wants to come

Zuko: on it

Iidad: anything we can do?

Broccoli: just . . . how are you holding up with this info? I know it’s a lot

Iidad: I’m very glad you trust us. I can’t imagine the burden this must have been without friends—knowing that All Might expects you to succeed him must be a heavy load to bear.

You’ll Float Too: just know that you don’t have to build that strength alone! Now that we know, we can help you push your limits and get stronger!

Tsu: You’re really brave, Midoriya. To take something like that on . . .

Tsu: You’ve both got a legacy to uphold and a past of feeling like you’d never reach your dream. You know what discrimination feels like, but you also know what power is like. If it were anyone, I’m glad it’s you.

You’ll Float Too: oh definitely! I can’t imagine anyone else!

Iidad: indeed! I believe you can honor the legacy of One for All and All Might both.

Broccoli: I’m crying omg

Zuko: omw with datemates in tow

Six Gays in a Room Bitching

Glaceon: @all Izu could use a cuddle session in his room for the night, everyone’s invited

Espeon: omw

Flareon: got it

Sylveon: yup!

Jolteon: even me?

Glaceon: of course you too

Jolteon: then I’m comin

1-GAY

Lavaking: I’m making American-style breakfast, @all so if you want it I’m in the kitchen

Mothman: and if you don’t want your muscles to absolutely hate you forever from the high-intensity stuff then I’m doing stretches after breakfast feel free to follow along

Sero(tonin): saints among us I swear

Pro(fessional)s and C(onfidential)s

No Vampire Jokes: 1A and 1B are having a joint spa day in case anyone was wondering about their internship kids

No Vampire Jokes: facemaskcrew.jpg

KFC: that is

KFC: ADORABLE

Sanic: who convinced Tenya to relax

Care Bear Stare: Uraraka actually

Care Bear Stare: probably combined with the pain of hell training, but, y’know, semantics

Care Bear Stare: Also:

Care Bear Stare: during the second week of training I’m pulling one of my students for a court appearance and you’re all going to hear about it through the media.

Care Bear Stare: Enji Todoroki is an abusive asshole and has been towards all of his children and his wife.

Care Bear Stare: Whatever the media says, that’s facts.

Edna Mode: oh?

Edna Mode: so what you’re saying is I need to strangle someone with my flame-resistant fibers, yes?

Whale Hail: and I might need to throw someone into the ocean :)

Care Bear Stare: as much as I appreciate the thought

Care Bear Stare: no

Care Bear Stare: this is just an update for you all so no one throws opinions around without knowing what’s going on

Whale Hail: you can’t actually believe we’d side with Enji over you right

Bun Bun: I’d punt him across the city for one bag of doritos

Care Bear Stare: I’m sending that to Shouto for his siblings’ group chat

Bun Bun: please do since our resident Zuko wannabe is out on mission. Speaking of, @KFC, updates?

KFC: a solo mission for me in a bit; Touya’s been put in charge of a big group attack before he meets with the leader himself. However that happens, we’ll deal.

Care Bear Stare: can you update him on the Endeavor trial?

KFC: oh he’ll hear about it yeah

KFC: the base at least has some cable tv

Edna Mode: what kind of mission did they give you?

KFC: . . . ah

KFC: this gc is secure right?

Care Bear Stare: as secure as it’s going to be

KFC: cool

KFC: they want me to sabotage Tsunagu’s next Trigger bust so that he mysteriously disappears/dies

KFC: look appropriately heartbroken/nervous when it happens yeah?

Edna Mode: huh

Edna Mode: I’ll get on that bust then

KFC: and well the Commission said go for it, so fuck them

Whale Hail: Interesting.

Bun Bun: which one signed off on killing him I just want to talk

KFC: idk it was a written signoff to do whatever to make them trust me immediately after I reported in my orders from the LOV

Bun Bun: well who gave the orders from the LOV then

KFC: Shigaraki told Touya who told me

KFC: but he’s gonna give me more directions during game night tomorrow

Care Bear Stare: game night?

KFC: yeah they may be criminals but they’re people too

KFC: Kurogiri is distressingly good at Mario Kart

Bun Bun: huh

Inko Midoriya>>>>>Toshinori Yagi

Inko: Good evening Yagi-san! I was wondering if you were free tonight?

Toshinori: Ah, Midoriya-san! I’m available, yes. What are your plans?

Inko: Well, actually, I was wondering if we could go for coffee and maybe a movie?

Toshinori: I see!

Toshinori: Now, I don’t mean to be presumptuous

Toshinori: but would you mean this as a date?

Inko: It’s not presumptuous at all! If you don’t want to pursue that, it’s fine—we can be friends as well!

Toshinori: I would very much like that. I hope I won’t distract you from anything?

Inko: oh, I do need a breather before the Todoroki trial. One of my close coworkers has been working the case, and I’m just very nervous about the whole thing.

Toshinori: I could meet you at 5:30 at yours, and we could go to the café down by the beach?

Inko: that sounds lovely!

Class Reps and Teachers (Don’t Know What They’re Doing Either)

Snipp: huh

Snipp: I think I accidentally caught All Might on a date

Bible Discussion & Study Meeting: you caught who on what now

Snipp: I might be hallucinating the whole thing

Snipp: but he was definitely depowered and holding hands with a woman walking out of a café together

Bible Discussion & Study Meeting: DETAILS

Snipp: short, chubby woman with a big smile? Green hair?

Insomnia: oh no

Insomnia: @Y’all Might’ve is that who I goddamn think it is

President Michael: ohoho

Insomnia: please never do that again or I’m divorcing you

Y’all Might’ve: Ah, yes, well

Y’all Might’ve: I might have just gone on a very nice date with a lovely woman

Insomnia: what is her name toshinori

Y’all Might’ve: Inko!

Insomnia: last

Insomnia: name

Y’all Might’ve:

Y’all Might’ve: Midoriya

President Michael: CALLED IT

Bible Discussion & Study Meeting: oml

Bible Discussion & Study Meeting: The mother of your protégé, really?

Insomnia: fml

Insomnia: Please don’t do anything stupid with your relationship. Treat her well. Don’t fuck up. Because her son would likely be able to actually hurt you.

Y’all Might’ve: oh I know

Y’all Might’ve: and I’ll have that discussion with him when I’m good and ready to

Insomnia: smh

Inko Midoriya>>>>>Mitsuki Bakugou

Inko: MITSUKI

Inko: HELP

Mitsuki: is this a danger help or a personal crisis help

Inko: it’s a bring some wine to our next girls’ night talk

Inko: I just had a lovely date

Mitsuki: Oh fuck really???

Mitsuki: that’s great news!

Inko: with All Might

Mitsuki:

Mitsuki: no shit

Inko: yes shit

Mitsuki: holy mother of fuck Inko

Mitsuki: you’re about to make my son’s father-in-law All Might

Inko: now hold on it was just one date

Mitsuki: not commenting on Katsuki and Izuku?

Inko: oh no I knew that was coming. Izuku rambles about his crushes to me and he let me know that he confessed and all!

Mitsuki: huh

Mitsuki: still I wonder: are you going to give him the full *inko is the shining sun* date treatment?

Inko: what’s that supposed to mean?

Mitsuki: oh come on

Mitsuki: when we dated in college you treated me like an actual princess. Gave me flowers all the time and shit. Sure, we didn’t last, but barring my husband, you’re the best relationship I had

Mitsuki: then your husband was an asshole who didn’t know how to reciprocate that treatment and frankly you didn’t the bitch anyway

Mitsuki: so if you just be yourself in this he might be the kind of person that you should have, because I can see him treating you right

Inko: you really think so?

Mitsuki: yeah of course

Mitsuki: now do you want the tropical sangria for girls’ night or the dessert alcohol thing

Inko: the double-chocolate margaritas?

Mitsuki: that’s the bitch

Inko: we’ll go with the margaritas

Mitsuki: excellent

Chapter Text

1-GAY

Edgar Allan No: thank you @Sword Lesbian for helping organize yesterday, and thank you @Mothman for having us stretch because otherwise today I may have died

Sero(tonin): but I’m already dead

Lightning McQueen: heads up no-quirk-use combat this afternoon prepare to lose to @Mothman and @Elphaba

Mothman: :)

Elphaba: :)

This Family is a Nightmare

Purple Son: so you know how I’m gay

Sleep Dad: this is not new information

Scream Dad: Judging by the fact that Kaminari is your boyfriend, I guessed

Purple Son: well I’m also poly and may have multiple boyfriends now

Scream Dad: ooh who is it?

Purple Son: Denki, Izuku, Katsuki, Shouto, and Eijiro

Purple Son: Izuku likes all of us, Denki is just dating me, and the other three are new to the idea of being poly but want to try it out

Sleep Dad:

Sleep Dad: huh

Sleep Dad: well, considering we had another boyfriend in high school for a time, I can’t exactly throw stones

Purple Son: seriously?

Sleep Dad: yeah

Scream Dad: Remember how we told you about our friend, Oboro?

Purple Son: yeah, you’d wanted to make an agency together and

Purple Son: oh shit

Purple Son: that’s . . . that’s sad. I’m sorry to hear that

Sleep Dad: it’s been a long time. Point is, though, take care of each other. As long as all of the relationships are healthy, polycules can be great support systems—especially when all of you are aiming to be heroes. You have to find happiness and strength in all the places you can.

Scream Dad: also bring them over for dinner once classes start back up

Purple Son: Will do!

1-GAY

Bone Hurting Juice: Today’s combat training brought to you by: @Tailed Beast @Lavaking @Elphaba @Mothman

Bone Hurting Juice: since they know a lot about hand-to-hand and in different styles!

Sero(tonin): if it were not for the laws of this land I would have slaughtered you, Midoriya

Sero(tonin): my alarm wasn’t going to go off for at least ten more minutes

PikaPika: you use an alarm? I just wait until someone drags me out of bed or Jirou starts blasting her morning music

Bluetooth: I’m that loud?

PikaPika: idk maybe but then again most people are up by the time you are so I’ve been using you as an alarm. I kinda just go to sleep in new training gear after showering so I don’t have to do as much in the morning?

Sharkboy:

Sharkboy: this is galaxy brain level shit Denks wtf didn’t I think of this

Sero(tonin): so that’s why you just walk straight to breakfast

Sword Lesbian: oh, to have such a brief morning routine

Galinda: smh exactly

Sharkboy: wait do you wear makeup for training???

Sword Lesbian: not nearly as much as normal but yes

Sword Lesbian: tbh just acne treatment and a colored chapstick right now, but also my hair tangles like crazy so I have to make it not a rat’s nest

Kermit: braid it overnight! That keeps most tangles from starting

Sword Lesbian: really?? Could you help me with it???

Kermit: Of course

Kermit: anyone with long hair’s invited (I can show people simple braids if they’re interested)

Zuko: I’m thinking of growing my hair out so yes please can I learn?

Kermit: Definitely

Lightning McQueen: lunch is almost over! Meet at the courtyard in ten!

League of Assholes

Jazz Hands: all right @all

Jazz Hands: I’m going to bring Dabi to meet Sensei tonight. He’ll go over the attack plans once we’re back.

Yandere: see you soon Dabi-kun!!!

Kurogiri took the two of them to an old doctor’s clinic. Of course, it didn’t look like much—not until they went into the basement, which was notably warehouse-sized, which was far larger than the little building they’d entered.

Ujiko gave him the creeps, as did his patient—a faceless, scarred man with a heavy power that radiated from him. If he wasn’t so determined to meet the League’s leader, he might have jumped ship a while back. Faking Best Jeanist’s death had been an effective show of loyalty, apparently.

Kurogiri left then, and he felt a tightness in his chest. Fuck I’m alone with the mastermind bastard. Oh hell. Oh fuck.

For once, he was glad his quirk was so destructive.

“Welcome, Dabi,” said Ujiko, an unnerving, gentle smile on his face.

“Hey,” he said. “So, what’s your name?” he asked, turning to the faceless man.

“You may call me All for One,” he said—no mouth opened, but his voice resonated all the same. “It’s also the name of my quirk—I can take another’s quirk for my own, or give another one I’ve taken.”

He was no longer glad that his quirk was so destructive.

“What the fuck—okay. That’s. That makes sense why you’re in charge, I guess,” he said. Fuck. That was not—that explained part of the Noumu creation, half-scientific war crime, half-quirk abomination. All for One chuckled.

“Yes, well—Shigaraki and Kurogiri are the only ones of the League that know of me personally. Why do you think I asked to meet you?”

“I’m leading an assault soon—maybe you want to tell me why you want to be a villain?”

“No. I want you to tell me why you want to be a villain. Touya Todoroki.”

He couldn’t help his gasp—not when he’d been so careful, but this was part of the smokescreen, if they found his identity—they wouldn’t know that he was Supernova. Just a jaded son wanting revenge. He let out a high, nervous chuckle.

“Well, the name explains a lot, doesn’t it? Along with these burn scars. I didn’t want to be his little hero soldier, bred and raised to do what he couldn’t. And when something better came along, he didn’t mind that I self-destructed during training all that much. It doesn’t take too much to put two and two together, huh?”

“Mm, yes. After all, your siblings and mother are having a trial against him, according to my contacts.”

This, he didn’t know. He frowned.

“The hell?” Think. Think. How would I react if I wanted him dead and that wasn’t exactly the best-case scenario that I was just given? He growled and flared up his shoulders and arms, clenching his fists.

“Yes, well, they’ve kept it mostly private, for what I can tell, but it’ll be a whole televised event in a day or so. Would that be enough for you, to see him exposed?” Yes, it’s exactly what I’d like.

He scoffed.

“Fuck no. The bastard deserves to stew and rot for a bit before I turn him to ash, but he still needs to die. He doesn’t get to be called a hero. He’s not worthy of it.”

“Hmm. I take it you’re a follower of Stain’s ideals, then?”

“Hero society is a cancer,” he nodded, patting out the embers on part of his jacket. “High-salary assholes have no accountability.”

“Then you think it should be dismantled?”

“Of course.”

“Then I have some good news for you, Dabi—we will dismantle the whole thing by destroying its kingpin first. The next generation and the Symbol of Peace will cower, alone and helpless, and his successor will crumble under the weight of my plans.”

League of Assholes

Bluedabadi: All right come upstairs @all. We’re attacking the UA training camp, and I have specific goals for each of you to complete. No fucking around.

Class 1-A Official

Aizawa: @all I’m adjusting training schedules for the next few days on account of a legal family issue for one of you.

Todoroki: You can say I’m suing my dad, sensei—I’ve already told everyone.

Aizawa: That said, all of you will be expected to keep up intermittent training based off of the assigned goals we gave you on Monday. The Todoroki trial will be televised on a delay. Todoroki, you’ll be joining me on the ride to the courthouse. Please be ready in half an hour.

Yaoyorozu: Best of luck!

Iida: We’ll be watching and cheering you on!

Todoroki: Thanks, everyone.

Six Gays in a Room Bitching

Glaceon: cool I’m freaking out

Leafeon: you got this!!!

Flareon: Your dad’s a bitch you’re fine

Flareon: and if you’re not me vs him will end him, given that he only uses half the power you do

Espeon: Honestly? All of us would end him

Glaceon: thanks all

Endeavor Sucks

#2 Hawks Stan: Ding dong the bitch is (soon to be) dead

Smol Zuko: gdi Natsu he’s not dead but thanks for the encouragement

Teacher Voice: Hey @all bit.ly/todorokitrial there’s a hashtag and Natsu’s hate twitter has skyrocketed in follower

#2 Hawks Stan: oh really?

Smol Zuko: I’m glad there’s a recess but also

Smol Zuko: I’d like to punt the reporters into the sun with how they’re crowding Mom

Teacher Voice: same

Teacher Voice: unfortunately they’ll notice frostbite

Smol Zuko: ah but if they slip on the floor from a brief bit of frost that disappeared before they could say anything?

#2 Hawks Stan: ha ok Shouto is god tier petty

Smol Zuko: this is not new information

Six Gays in a Room Bitching

Glaceon: Day 1: Done

Leafeon: How are you feeling, sho?

Glaceon: tired mostly. Got to talk with mom, which I haven’t been able to in a while. She’s stressed, but she was happy to see us.

Glaceon: it was one thing to infodump on Izuku or the class; it’s another to say it to strangers in a way that’ll be acceptable in court

Espeon: looks like the other side is pushing him redeeming himself and saying that you all are exaggerating?

Flareon: victim blaming ass

Leafeon: yeah

Leafeon: but to be fair, the lawyer does have to do their job, even defending assholes

Sylveon: tru

Sylveon: he’s pretty vicious about it still

Leafeon: that’s lawyering tbh

Leafeon: my mom will rage about a client in private but make them out to be an angel on the stand. It’s not illegal to be an ass, unfortunately.

Jolteon: Kat would have been arrested for that by now lol

Flareon: stfu

Glaceon: me and Hitoshi too, honestly

Espeon: fair

League of Assholes

Bluedabadi: so you’re at the trashfire’s trial huh @KFC

KFC: yup

KFC: The defense called me in as an agent of the commission; the prosecutor called me as a witness as a friend of the family.

Bluedabadi: they called you in to defend him

Jazz Hands: you know Endeavor’s family?

KFC: well yeah

KFC: I went to school with his oldest son

Mag: Oldest? Thought he just had the one

KFC: another reason he’s an ass actually

Yandere: Wait the white-haired one? Isn’t he in college?

KFC: no, their oldest, Touya

KFC: he disappeared a bit after Shouto’s quirk manifested. Don’t know if Enji knows what happened or not, but either way he and the commission covered it up hardcore. Always came to school with burns from his own quirk though, so it could be that he self-destructed from quirk over use.

Jazz Hands: huh

Shigaraki Tomura>>>>>Dabi

Shigaraki Tomura: Touya, huh?

Dabi: Touya is dead.

Shigaraki Tomura: Sure.

Endeavor Sucks

Smol Zuko: so if I have to listen to one more version of “then why did you intern with him if he was sooo abusive” I will cut a bitch

#2 Hawks Stan has changed their name to #1 Hawks Stan

#1 Hawks Stan: idc that you’re dating him, Touya, this mans has all of my uwus

#1 Hawks Stan: do you understand? I’m putting this in the chat for posterity:

#1 Hawks Stan: Bitchass defense: “In working with Endeavor, have you witnessed abusive behavior?”

#1 Hawks Stan: Hawks, a legend: “Emotional, physical, financial?”

#1 Hawks Stan: Bitchass: “Excuse me?”

#1 Hawks Stan: Legend: *Gives a lecture about quirk marriage, political coverups, emotional/psychological abuse, and the difference between training and physical assault*

#1 Hawks Stan: Bitchass: *tries to object*

#1 Hawks Stan: Judge: No, let him speak. Prosecution?

#1 Hawks Stan: Prosecutor: No further questions *the most smug-ass smile I have ever seen*

Teacher Voice: oh btw I’m going out with Rumi tonight; do either of you need anything before I go?

Smol Zuko: nah I’m good

1-GAY

Sword Lesbian: Omg congrats Todoroki!

Zuko: I’m relieved it’s over

Sero(tonin): what was the sentencing???

Zuko: Protective order, a pretty big payout to my mom, hero restrictions/community service, and his actions being public record

PikaPika: wait no jail time?

Zuko: minimal, but honestly? I don’t mind. He’s good at his job and protecting people that aren’t me and my family, so as long as people know what he did and he backs the fuck off I consider it a pretty damn good win

Elphaba: Will that affect your hero work?

Zuko: Nope. He’s not allowed to solicit me for training/work, but I can request it some of the time if I want. Which honestly, after my internship? Thanks but no thanks

Edgar Allan No: I am glad to hear that justice has been served for you.

Zuko: Again, it’s a relief. I’ll be glad to get back to normal. Coming back tomorrow for the rest of camp.

Sharkboy: so soon?

Zuko: yeah, luckily since I’m a minor and my siblings are civilians, no press conference.

Galinda: I think

Galinda: I think I prefer school to camp y’all

PikaPika: gasp! Blasphemy!

Sero(tonin): how could you betray us Mina

Sharkboy: so not manly

Catch These Hands: Bakugou hoards the Bakusquad brain cell, confirmed

Lavaking: stfu

Hangry: then who has the Izucrew one?

Bone Hurting Juice: Tsu

Elphaba: Tsu

Lightning McQueen: Tsu

Zuko: Tsu

Kermit: Yeah it me

Kermit: I loan it out once in a while tho

Mothman: yo trans/nb folks so Tiger is out right

Lavaking: yup

PikaPika: yes

Catch These Hands: correct

Kermit: yes

Mothman: I’ve been thinking? About being out as a hero. And whether or not that would be a good idea. Thoughts?

PikaPika: honestly do it. but only if you want? If people are going to be asses about it they’ll find something else to be asses about if you’re closeted, and you don’t owe anyone a change of identity or an explanation. I’m personally definitely going to be out when I debut because I a)don’t want to pretend b) can only imagine the look on a baby enby’s face when they realize a pro is like them

Kermit: That’s a fair opinion. I’m probably not going to do any big coming out myself, just let people draw their own conclusions. I’ve had bad experiences in middle school coming out to kids and adults alike, so I’m just going to let my hero work show for itself. Maybe later when I’m already established.

Catch These Hands: I’m still on the fence about my identity, so I don’t want to broadcast it when I don’t even know lol

Lavaking: Up to you eyebags. I’ll blow shitheads up that call you slurs tho

Mothman: Thanks, Katsuki.

Mothman: and everyone else, too!

Hangry: hey everyone heads up:

Hangry: We’re training specifically with Monoma today to fight against our own quirks and to improve his power output so

Hangry: don’t die?

Bluetooth: how’d you find out?

Hangry: he was bragging to Tetsu and Aoyama about it and Aoyama had the Tea, so he talked with me

Ouran Protag: oui ;D

Galinda: One of us: Prepare for Trouble!

Galinda: Monoma: and make it double!

PikaPika: surprisedpikachu.jpg

League of Assholes

Bluedabadi: @all except Hawks and Shigaraki

Bluedabadi: meet in ten at Base 2; it’s tonight

1-GAY

Sero(tonin): goddamn league attack again

Lightning McQueen: everyone please only check the chat if you are certain you are in a safe position to do so. Do not engage unless necessary. Run.

PikaPika: fuck

Bone Hurting Juice: FUCK

Endeavor Sucks

Smol Zuko: remember what I said about Touya planning an attack on me and my classmates?

Smol Zuko: He kidnapped. One of my boyfriends.

#1 Hawks Stan: oh shit

Dabi>>>>>Hawks

Dabi: Holy fuck we kidnapped a kid

Hawks: what

Dabi: I thought I was just going to have to keep them from killing him and we’d retreat but no apparently my plan actually worked

Dabi: Shigaraki wants to recruit Bakugou Katsuki into the League. Full stop. And if that doesn’t work, his Sensei will apparently try to handle the rest. All for One, the guy who can steal quirks, will handle it. No thanks. I’m not going to let it get that far

Hawks: well obviously. We’re going to stop them. I'll set up extraction for the two of you, coordinate with Eraserhead.

Dabi: we’d better. I don’t like the sound of the shit they seem to be implying. IE torture, experiments, stealing the kid’s quirk somehow. Nope. Just not happening.

Hawks: We’ll fix this. I’m going to see if I can give info to the pros, and if I can’t, I’m doing it anyway

Dabi: all right.

Dabi has deleted (8) messages

Shouto>>>>>Keigo

Shouto: Tell Touya that Katsuki had better be in one somewhat-stable piece by the time he’s out of the League or I’m burning all of his old MCR and BTS merch

Shouto: also that he’s a bitch

Shouto: “Poor Shouto Todoroki” my ass

Keigo: Got it

Hawks>>>>>Dabi

Hawks: also

Hawks: shoutoscreenshot.jpg

Dabi: huh

Dabi: I can’t even give him a proper shovel talk without it being massively innapropriate, being a villain and all

Hawks: point being I think you’d better be sure Katsuki isn’t more mentally scarred than necessary

Dabi: fair

Dabi has deleted (6) messages.

League of Assholes

Bluedabadi: now that that’s over

Bluedabadi: why, exactly, did we have to kidnap a kid, @Jazz Hands?

Jazz Hands: Recruitment. That kind of attitude, with the right push, would make him easy to manipulate. Imagine that kind of power on our side.

Bluedabadi: . . . you’re an idiot.

Chapter Text

Class 1-A Official

Aizawa: The pros are working to locate Bakugou and infiltrate the League’s base. Thank you, Yaoyorozu for providing us with the tracker ping. It’s given us an area to scout, although it was deactivated a few hours ago. We have contacts tracking the League that are also going to help with the extraction. I’m going to go on a press conference today to address the issue publicly. Do not go after him yourselves.

1-GAY

Sharkboy: So we’re going after him, right?

Lightning McQueen: No, we are not.

Lightning McQueen: Though it’s what we aspire to be, we aren’t pro heroes yet. We would likely get in the way of their operation more than anything, and become targets ourselves.

Lightning McQueen: This isn’t a callout; it’s just speaking from experience. I don’t want to relive Stain or the kidnapping with more of us at risk.

Sharkboy: but what if the pros fail? What if they don’t get to him in time?

Bone Hurting Juice: Kiri’s got a point. We could be helping.

Kermit: We could, but sneaking behind their backs and throwing ourselves at the League isn’t going to be the way to do it.

Sharkboy: You’re telling me you all are okay with just sitting back???

PikaPika: That is not what they’re saying, bro

PikaPika: no one is just ok with him being kidnapped

Mothman: We have to think before we act is all. Rushing in without a plan might hurt Katsuki in the end. Remember, some heroes are more suited for combat, some for search and rescue, some for undercover—the pros are going to line up the mission to reflect that.

Bone Hurting Juice: but if we all stand around waiting too long, who knows what happens to Kacchan?

Mothman: and if we go in without planning, what happens to him and us?

Sword Lesbian: Enough

Sword Lesbian: There are ways we can make this work. The pros are already planning their mission, but they haven’t finalized it yet. Tokoyami, do you think you could get an in with Hawks? Midoriya, All Might?

Edgar Allan No: Maybe?

Zuko: Hawks owes me for sneaking him in and out of the house a ton of times I’ll talk to him too

Sero(tonin): Now we don’t have time to unpack all that

Bone Hurting Juice: I’ll bring it up tonight

Mothman: and I’ll try to change Aizawa’s mind and get us in. Meanwhile everyone else needs to decide whether they want to be on the mission or on standby.

Sharkboy: I’m doing it.

Sword Lesbian: As am I.

Lightning McQueen: I can’t stop people from doing what they believe is right.

Lightning McQueen: I suppose this means I will be there to supervise.

PikaPika: I’m in

Bone Hurting Juice: if it isn’t obvious already, I’m going

This Family is a Nightmare

Purple Son: mutiny.doc

Purple Son: The class is aware that the pros have made a decision, but given that we’re a stupid-ass class we’ve elected to ignore it.

Purple Son: That’s a list of duties students are willing to do to be a part of the mission. They’re going to do something whether or not you let them. I’m going to do something. Katsuki is in danger and we can’t sit idly.

Sleep Dad: You all are going to make me go prematurely gray

Sleep Dad: let me see what fits best with the pros’ plan. We can’t afford to seem like we’re putting you all in harms’ way on purpose—that’s why the whole press conference was necessary.

Pro(fessional)s and Con(fidential)s

KFC: All right, game plan?

Edna Mode: given that you’re going to blow yours and Nova’s cover, should I show up, too? My fake death will at least give them reason to suspect I won’t be there. Plus I can restrain guards while we go after Katsuki.

KFC: Touya’s going to talk to Katsuki about the plan. The League put him in charge because “his mission wasn’t over yet” and also sort of to punish him for talking smack against Shigaraki.

Y’all Might’ve: I would like to be a part of extraction if at all possible. It might at least intimidate the lower-level members into backing off.

Care Bear Stare: The problem children are in, whether or not we let them. Short of locking them up in high-level security or banning them from getting hero licenses? Even then they’d probably go. But they did bring up some interesting points:

Care Bear Stare: mutiny.doc

KFC: o shit Shouto just sent me that. Yeah, I think it’s a good idea to keep students with groups on the perimeter. Less likely they’ll get caught when the League is on defense and escape mode.

Edna Mode: the only thing that sucks about it is the optics

Y’all Might’ve: I’ll talk to my girlfriend. She has some journalist friends as a lawyer and can probably get one of them to spin it well.

KFC: G i r l f r i e n d

Sonic: girlfriend?

Whale Hail: girlfriend?

Bun Bun: girlfriend?

President Michael: Girlfriend?

Care Bear Stare: mic you knew this

President Michael: true but I wanted to feel included

Y’all Might’ve: fuck

Y’all Might’ve: Yes. Girlfriend. Inko Midoriya. She’s a lovely woman. We started just after school let out. Regardless, she’ll have a talk with some of her friends and see what can be done on that end.

Edna Mode: Better to ask forgiveness than permission from the public to be honest. They’ll react wildly inappropriately either way.

Care Bear Stare: Fair enough. Meet at mine at 3:30 for briefing on how we’ll do this.

Class 1-A Official

Aizawa: You are all problem children and I should have expelled you day one. That said, here are your upcoming mission parameters.

Aizawa: bakugourescue.doc

Mitsuki>>>>>Inko

Mitsuki: fuck fuck fuck

Inko: Toshi said the pros were on it and that students would be on sidelines to assist from a distance. Katsuki will be seeing friendly faces soon enough.

Mitsuki: Masaru wants to pull him from UA

Mitsuki: frankly I’m not seeing the problem

Mitsuki: except he’d never speak to us again and then go anyway

Mitsuki: I hope he’s keeping his mouth shut so they don’t do anything to him

Mitsuki: what am I saying he’s probably sassed every member of the League he’s met

Inko: do you want me to come over?

Mitsuki: you’re in the middle of a date

Inko: I can bring Toshi or reschedule

Inko: we’re all stressed and distracted. It’s understandable. If you want some cocoa and cookies, I have ingredients. Wine and baking night?

Mitsuki: fuck yeah

Mitsuki: I’ll bring Masaru, you bring Toshinori

Mituski: stress/wine/baking double date it is

Inko: sounds like just what we need

Pro(fessional)s and Con(fidential)s

KFC: I’ve given Touya the ok to inform Bakugou about the situation. With his cooperation we’ll be able to get him out a hell of a lot faster.

Edna Mode: I never did thank you for getting me towards the front lines

KFC: I mean I did have to rough you up pretty bad to convince the League? And Bakugou will probably be glad to see you. Touya’s gonna hopefully make sure he isn’t treated too badly

Y’all Might’ve: With the students on standby at the perimeter I’m sure he’ll have many familiar faces

Whale Hail: I’ve coordinated with @Sonic to be sure the rest of usual patrol routes are covered as necessary

KFC: individually their quirks are powerful, but manageable. I’ve got records Touya stole from Ujiko’s and it isn’t pretty how any of them got there.

Care Bear Stare: Meaning?

KFC: Kurogiri’s a Noumu, maybe the first. But because he was the first, it was different than the other experimentation involved—primarily mind control and messing with his quirk. Might be reversible, to some degree. Apparently he was taken when he was sixteen or so.

Whale Hail: well that’s fucked

KFC: That’s some of the least gruesome stuff we found from the lab. Police are combing through the rest. If All for One shows up, you and Endeavor are it, All Might

Y’all Might’ve: I know. Gran Torino is joining up to transport people to medical assistance as needed as well.

President Michael: we’ll get him back

Care Bear Stare: we will

Shigaraki snarled at Dabi.

“Watch the brat. If he can’t behave and see he’s a guest here, he won’t be treated as one. Kurogiri, with me. Twice, Toga, Spinner, out.

Dabi looked over Bakugou, tilting his head. The skull-faced fucker had some kind of weird expression—not derision or anger. Not quite pity, either.

“I need to talk to you, kid.”

“Didn’t do a lot of that so far, why start now?”

Dabi crouched, fishing something out of his pocket.

“Gonna say some things I don’t want Shigaraki hearing. I’ve got a local area messaging system on my phone. Just you and me texting for a minute.”

“And why in fuck should I bother with you, fucker?”

Dabi paused.

“Fuckhands McMike wants to recruit you. I want you out of here as soon as possible, frankly.”

Bakugou snorted at the name, but gingerly reached out and took the offered phone.

Dabi>>>>>Bakugou Katsuki

Dabi: I’m doing this so that they don’t track what you and I say to each other. I’m an undercover pro hero that’s been infiltrating the League for some time now. I’m sorry it got this far.

Bakugou: Right like I’m going to fucking believe that

Dabi: I’m working with the pros on an extraction for the both of us. My cover’s gonna be blown, but I’m not letting their leader anywhere near you.

Bakugou: funny thing how he got all up in my face and you didn’t do anything then?

Dabi: no, his sensei is the leader—a man by the name of All for One. He’s really fucking dangerous and I don’t want him involved. His quirk is to take other people’s quirks.

Bakugou: why the fuck should I believe you

Dabi: My name is Touya Todoroki. My little brother’s Shouto. In our sibling group chat, called Endeavor Sucks, he’s Smol Zuko and I’m Large Zuko, for obvious reasons.

Bakugou:

Bakugou: huh

Bakugou: are you going to let me confirm that?

Dabi: Don’t get him riled up. The extraction is timed for the League to have most of its heavy hitters in a place where we can take them down; the students are apparently already planning a rescue against orders, so the pros are going to work them in

Dabi: You can confirm with Shouto or Eraserhead; the underground heroes know my mission parameters pretty much, and I was allowed to tell family if I wanted. Tell whoever to get Aizawa and Hawks the datapack I sent last meetup.

Bakugou Katsuki >>>>> Todoroki Shouto

Bakugou: Icyhot listen up

Todoroki: Bakugou? Are you all right?!

Bakugou: yeah they elected Dabi as my warden. I don’t have Aizawa’s number but he said to contact you or my teacher so

Todoroki: Dabi’s in charge of you? Okay, what did he say?

Bakugou: wants me to give him the phone so he can text you but fuck that

Bakugou: he said Aizawa needs to contact Hawks about the rescue and some info he dropped at the last meeting and let him know

Bakugou: what the fuck. do you know him?

Todoroki: I know his position but don’t know if I’m allowed to tell. Can you tell him I’ll contact them right away? And put your phone on low power mode; I don’t know how long we can contact like this

Bakugou: on it. he says he’s your brother? Care to fucking confirm that? And I will.

Todoroki: he is. Touya could sneak a portable charger to you if this lasts longer than your battery and we need more information to pass back and forth. Plenty of room in that edgy-ass coat for a false pocket somewhere.

Bakugou: thanks, Icyhot Jr. He’ll coordinate with Hawks at their next meeting

Todoroki: I’m sorry I couldn’t get to you faster

Todoroki: Icyhot Jr???

Bakugou: shut the fuck up

Bakugou: everyone did everything they fucking could, right? And it’s not as if your big bro here has been torturing me. Sure he’s rough for show when they’re around, but I’m not doing too damn bad. Just calm the fuck down and relay what you know to Aizawa.

Bakugou: Dabi says “stay safe sho”

1-GAY

Lavaking Sent His Location!

Lavaking: in case the pro rescue crew needs a map, I’ll be blowing up this shithole in particular, busting out in t-minus 8 hours

Bone Hurting Juice: !!!

Bone Hurting Juice: forwarding to All Might and the rest now!

Lavaking: thanks

Bone Hurting Juice: All Might will be released from the hospital in a few hours. He’s moving in to the teachers’ facilities and apparently dorms are mandatory for us now, so we’ll be able to see him soon.

Hangry: What’s his condition?

Bone Hurting Juice: he told me he has to retire, but that he’d been planning on it for a few years now. It’s just earlier than he wanted. There’s going to be a press conference and everything else later, but physically, he’s ok, if a lot weaker than before

Elphaba: And how’s he feeling?

Sharkboy: speaking of

Sharkboy: @Lavaking how are you holding up?

Lavaking: kinda fucked in the head right now but could be dead so

Lavaking: as good as can be atm I suppose

Endeavor Sucks

Large Zuko has changed their name to “Azula but Better”

Azula but Better: I’m not pretending to be a villain anymore!

Teacher Voice: Touya!!!!

#1 Hawks Stan: Touyaaaaa

Smol Zuko: Touya

Smol Zuko: thanks for letting Katsuki text me

Azula but Better: figured I’d do my best to impress the boyf despite the circumstances

Smol Zuko: please never say the word “boyf” again

Azula but Better: I can fight you again if you want sho for my rights

Smol Zuko: no thanks

Smol Zuko: you don't have rights anyway

#1 Hawks Stan: So are they doing a press conference on the whole “exposing the League” thing

Azula but Better: ya I’m doing an interview with Hawks and Miruko

Smol Zuko: you are?

Azula but Better: No longer classified as an “underground” hero, given that Hawks blabbed about me when he was delirious after the fight

Teacher Voice: oh no is he alright?

Azula but Better: oh definitely

Azula but Better: he’s just tired because he was running the League op at the same time as another bunch of shit with Miruko (also part of the press conference)

Azula but Better: he doesn’t realize yet that with All Might retiring and Endeavor suspended, he’s the number one hero

Smol Zuko: are you going to tell him

Azula but Better: nope

Teacher Voice: how are you two still together??

Azula but Better: oh come on I’m not the only asshole in the relationship

Teacher Voice: I’m aware

1-GAY

Sword Lesbian: I have an idea, if everyone’s feeling up to it

Bluetooth: What kind of idea?

Sword Lesbian: I think we should host a welcoming party for All Might as he moves in.

Sword Lesbian: nothing too intense! Just, nice dinner, some small housewarming gifts, you know.

Invisigirl: I like that idea! Since we can’t make it an outing, it’ll have to be online shopping though

Sword Lesbian: Ah well

Sword Lesbian: that or my quirk for this occasion. I can customize things a bit more that way!

Zuko: Are you sure?

Sword Lesbian: He means a lot to me and to all of us. I think he should know that it extends beyond his fame as a hero.

Hangry: I’ll help supply you for that then! We wouldn’t want to overwork you, though. When’s he moving in Mido?

Bone Hurting Juice: End of the week. In the meantime, he’s staying at mine, which is insane

Galinda: uh why????

Bone Hurting Juice: apparently? He’s been dating my mom since the beginning of camp? So she offered?

Bone Hurting Juice: don’t say a word shouto I can see you typing

Catch These Hands: Should we figure out requests ahead of time so you can plan construction and how much food you need?

Sword Lesbian: that’d be great yes

Six Gays in a Room Bitching

Sylveon: so we’re in an agreement that we’re going to have a huge group date/cuddle session with Katsuki as soon as possible yes?

Leafeon: was that even a question??

Espeon: I’m cooking this time

Glaceon: I’m definitely down for this

Jolteon: I’ll be on blanket/pillow arranging duty for maximum cuddles

Flareon: I

Flareon: you don’t have to do that

Flareon: I’m fine

Espeon: bitch please you’d do this for us if we were in your position in a heartbeat

Espeon: and then you’d call us out for lying about being ok so I’m gonna do it for you

Leafeon: rt

Sylveon: rt

Jolteon: rt

Glaceon: rt

Glaceon: you all were there for me when I got out of a bad situation. Now it’s your turn, Katsuki.

Flareon: fuck but do you really want to I mean??

Sylveon: excuse me

Sylveon: are you attempting to suggest

Sylveon: that we don’t want to take care of our boyfriend? Because that’s not very manly of you

Flareon: I guess it’s just the fucking trauma talking idk

Flareon: they wanted me to join them. That’s why they took me. Wanted extra firepower and thought I’d be an easy target. I’m not a villain. I’m not.

Leafeon: Of course you’re not!

Flareon: but there has to be a reason they thought they could get me right? So what am I doing wrong? I’m strong but hell being nice doesn’t come easy to me like it does for normal people

Flareon: like Ei? You’re sunshine. I’m just a walking hazard

Leafeon: OK NO

Leafeon: We talked about this, Kacchan. I thought you got it after I said it so many times as a kid:

Leafeon: you’re going to be an amazing hero. Full stop. Fuck Shigaraki and the rest of the League for putting anything other than that in your head.

Leafeon: you wanna know why you’re going to be an amazing hero?

Leafeon: You don’t quit getting better. You don’t stop winning. You take on challenges. It never had anything to do with your quirk. It’s you that’s going to be amazing.

Sylveon: You think it’s easy? Of course it isn’t! And if I’m sunshine, you’re a red giant star—bigger and blinding.

Jolteon: Katsuki what the fuck

Jolteon: You’re angry most of the time but you’re also p much the bakusquad mom?? You take care of all of us when we actually need it

Espeon: look I’m just as much of an ass as you are and would you say that about me? No I didn’t think so

Flareon: i

Sylveon: Permission to cuddle pile in his room asap?

Leafeon: permission granted mission is a go

Flareon:

Flareon: I love you idiots

Chapter Text

Keigo>>>>>Touya

Keigo: HELP WHY AM I #1

Touya: 1. All Might Retiring 2. Endeavor arrested 3. Being an incredible hero

Keigo: don’t you act all cute Todoroki I saw how smug you were when the reporter asked about rankings

Touya: what can I not be smug that my bf is the number one???

Keigo: like you weren’t already laughing at me I’m sure

Keigo: bitch

Touya: your bitch <3

Keigo: can I trade you for another model

Touya: sorry fuyumi’s very lesbian and Natsuo is dating someone online

Keigo: are you implying that your siblings are bitches?

Touya: just those two

Touya: Shouto’s a little shit, taken, and too young for you, so

Keigo: true and fair

Keigo: wait I didn’t know Natsuo was dating anyone??

Touya: he hasn’t told anyone but me bc it’s newish and I walked in on him while he was calling them

Touya: wouldn’t give details either. It is his first online relationship tho so I only teased him a bit

Keigo: you are a lot nicer to your brother then your boyfriend then???

Touya: shut

Pro(fessional)s and Con(fidential)s

KFC: what what what help

Bun Bun: you’re doing great sweetie

Edna Mode: and if the HPSC gives you shit you send them to me and Kugo, got it?

KFC: Sure!

Too Hot (Hot Damn) has changed their name to Discount Azula

Discount Azula: as will I babe

KFC: stahp

KFC: but also thank you

Class 1-GAY

Sero(tonin) has changed the chat name to 2-GAY-2-Function

Sero(tonin): we be second years now

PikaPika: I just realized I missed a great opportunity first year

PikaPika: I could have been Pichu and then evolved this year and then a Raichu next year

PikaPika: I’m a fool

Sero(tonin): speaking of, I think now would be a momentous time

Sero(tonin): to change everyone’s names!!!

Sero(tonin): @Sword Lesbian, may I?

Sword Lesbian: I just gave you privileges, don’t abuse them!

Sero(tonin): absolutely

Sero(tonin): be prepared @all

Sero(tonin) has changed their name to “Flex Tape”

PikaPika: Fair and true

Flex Tape has changed PikaPika’s name to “Zapdos”

Zapdos: I’m

Zapdos: I’m honored

Flex Tape has changed Sword Lesbian’s name to “Yaomom”

Yaomom: you know what I’ll take it

Flex Tape has changed Mothman’s name to “Slep”

Slep: ah so it’s ironic

Flex Tape: :3

Flex Tape has changed Sharkboy’s name to “Teef”

Flex Tape has changed Lavaking’s name to “Pomeranian”

Pomeranian: ah fuck you soy sauce face

Flex Tape has changed Lightning McQueen’s name to “Heely Nightmare”

Flex Tape has changed Elphaba’s name to “Space Cadet”

Space Cadet: I’ll take it honestly

Flex Tape has changed Galinda’s name to “Bubblegum”

Bubblegum: dammit now I want some pink lemonade bubble tape

Pomeranian: what

Bubblegum: I ate a whole roll in one sitting when I was like 3 and it’s still my guilty pleasure

Pomeranian: that leaves me with more questions than answers

Bubblegum: :3

Flex Tape has changed Bone Hurting Juice’s name to “Small Might”

Small Might: I—

Flex Tape: shh let it happen

Flex Tape has changed Invisigirl’s name to “Violet Parr”

Violet Parr: YES

Flex Tape has changed Zuko’s name to “Polish Flag”

Flex Tape has changed Snow White’s name to “Actual Sunshine”

Flex Tape has changed Hangry’s name to “Gordon Ramsay”

Gordon Ramsay: finally

Gordon Ramsay: some good fucking food

Flex Tape has changed Edgar Allan No’s name to “MCR”

Flex Tape has changed Bluetooth’s name to “Jacked Up”

Flex Tape has changed Catch These Hands’s name to “Almost Hentai”

Almost Hentai: honestly I’m surprised it didn’t happen sooner

Flex Tape has changed Ouran Protag’s name to “SPARKLE”

Flex Tape has changed Tailed Beast’s name to “Jackie Chan Furry”

Flex Tape has changed Kermit’s name to “Frogger”

Heely Nightmare: what fresh hell is this

Flex Tape: perfection

Yaomom: I can feel his exasperation from here, Sero

Jackie Chan Furry: Sero what

Jackie Chan Furry: and I cannot emphasize this enough

Jackie Chan Furry: the fuck

Violet Parr: I approve!

Polish Flag: I do not

Flex Tape: sometimes, as they say,

Flex Tape: it do be like that

Heely Nightmare: ALSO WHY IS MY BROTHER ON STAFF SOMEONE HELP

Space Cadet: f in the chat for tenya

Bubblegum: f

Flex Tape: f

Small Might: f

MCR: f

Heely Nightmare: b e t r a y a l

Tenya >>>>> Tensei

Tenya: why didn’t you tell me

Tensei: Honestly?

Tensei: I forgot

Tensei: I was too busy stressing over being in charge of a large number of hero students

Tenya: fair but also

Tenya: I’m very proud of you you know?

Tenya: you could have turned your injury into an ending point but you didn’t

Tenya: I know I always talk about how you’re a great hero and such

Tenya: but it’s because you’re a great person and a great brother

Tensei: Aw, that’s very sweet of you, Tenya

Tensei: but you have to know you’re making me incredibly proud every day too, right? You’re making the Ingenium name your own, and becoming a great hero in your own right.

Class Reps and Teachers (Don’t Know What They’re Doing Either)

Insomniac: why is @1ida crying?

Sanic: no comment

Insomniac: no Sushi rights for a week

Sanic: WHAT

Insomniac: Nemuri, you can take her this week, right?

Bible Study & Discussion Meeting: Absolutely!

Sanic: I can’t believe I was only ever friends with Hizashi and Oboro in high school, Kayama, Aizawa? Never knew them

Scree: ooh, you got last named

Insomniac: stfu

Insomniac: I honestly have no words

This Family is a Nightmare

Scream Dad: Am I supposed to ignore the rock-lookalike-pillows in the living room or???

Sleep Dad: yes

Purple Son: yes

Scream Dad: cool cool

Purple Son: it’s to fool guests with. Slowly and surely they’ll become complacent, thinking it’s rock pillows, but one day if I’m pissed off I’ll swap them with real rocks

Sleep Dad: also Mochi likes them because it’s like being in the wild without all the work

Purple Son: mood

Scream Dad: I worry about you two a lot

Sleep Dad: also mood

2-GAY-2-Function

Violet Parr: Yagi-sensei is coming!

Yaomom: !!!! Okay, everyone’s in position!

MCR: I kept everyone away from the food table jic

Yaomom: Thanks Tokoyami!

Toshinori>>>>>Inko

Toshinori: The students set up a welcoming party for me and it’s adorable I don’t know what to do

Inko: Aw! That’s lovely! Enjoy yourself and them being there! Would you like me to come over tomorrow morning?

Toshinori: if you wouldn’t mind, I’d love that!

Inko: of course! Now have fun!!!

Class 2-A Official

Yagi: I’d like to express my thanks once again for the welcoming party last night! You were all very kind and generous. It warms my heart that you would still hold me in such a high regard.

Yagi: Especially Miss Yaoyorozu, who I understand arranged the party and the gifts in particular.

Momo: You’re welcome! It was a pleasure and a treat, especially given how much you mean to us, Sensei!

Six Gays in a Room Bitching

Jolteon: new year new gc name theme what do

Glaceon: idek

Leafeon: Avatar? Naruto? Disney princess? Ice cream flavors?

Espeon: Musicals? Bands/singers? Favorite pro heroes?

Flareon: do you really want to get texts from three versions of All Might asking you to come over?

Espeon: you know what fair

Sylveon: ok so if we did any of the themes it would be like:

Sylveon: Katsuki: Katara, Naruto, Mulan, Mexican chocolate, Heathers, Fall Out Boy, All Might

Sylveon: Hitoshi: Mai, Shikamaru, Rapunzel, Blueberry Swirl (THEY’RE PURPLE), The Guy Who Didn’t Like Musicals, Hozier, Eraserhead

Sylveon: Denki: Sokka, Kiba, Giselle, Butter Pecan, Something Rotten!, Band, Present Mic

Sylveon: Me: Toph, Tsunade, Ariel, Rocky Road, Thoroughly Modern Millie, Daughtry, Crimson Riot

Sylveon: Izuku: Aang, Naruto, Cinderella, Mint Chip, Dear Evan Hansen, AJR, All Might

Sylveon: Shouto: Zuko, Neji, Elsa, Strawberry Shortcake, Wicked, Mother Mother, All Might

Flareon: jesus ei how fast do you type

Jolteon: I hate? How accurate it is? I kin Sokka so hard???

Leafeon: let’s see: large responsibility, came without extra power equipped like everyone else, High Anxiety? Yup

Espeon: agreed Katara would definitely cut a bitch and mine just make me feel Exposed{TM}

Sylveon: aw thanks guys

Sylveon: I just know you all pretty well I guess!

Glaceon: Neji’s one of the white-eyed characters right?

Espeon: yes

Glaceon: ah ok

Espeon: and he was an asshole until Naruto punched friendship into him

Glaceon: . . .

Glaceon: I feel attacked

Espeon: to be fair that’s how he dealt with most antagonistic characters???

Espeon: and I don’t want to think of us just yeeting Izuku at the LoV and hoping for the best

Leafeon: Yeah let’s Not Do That

Leafeon: I somehow doubt I can work any miracles on Fuckhands McMike

Flareon: back to the original point: what are the name changes going to be

Glaceon: I like the ice cream flavors

Jolteon: yeah it’s actually really cute!

Leafeon: on it!

Leafeon changed their name to “Mint Chip”

Mint Chip changed Jolteon’s name to “Butter Pecan”

Mint Chip changed Flareon’s name to “Mexican Chocolate”

Mint Chip changed Glaceon’s name to “Strawberry Shortcake”

Mint Chip changed Sylveon’s name to “Rocky Road”

Mint Chip changed Espeon’s name to “Blueberry Swirl”

Butter Pecan: I love it

Mexican Chocolate: also I’ve never cut a bitch in my life

Mint Chip: Kacchan

Mint Chip: you never have less than three knives on your person

Mexican Chocolate: I haven’t doesn’t mean I couldn’t

Rocky Road: my point stands, since she’s never cut a bitch either but definitely could and would

2-GAY-2-Function

Almost Hentai: so I’ve decided my pronouns are they/them until further notice

Space Cadet: !

Space Cadet: congrats on finding something that fits you well!

Almost Hentai: I wish it hadn’t taken so long tbh but thanks

Flex Tape: This just in: rather than the boring and binary “ladies and gentleman” I have now decided to refer to everyone as the distinguished and mysterious “colleagues”

Slep: Peasants

Teef: *American southern accent* Howdy, partners!

Zapdos: *Russian accent* COMRADES

MCR: *Eldritch roaring* M o r t a l s

Pomeranian: another reason you all are extras

Space Cadet: aw that was almost sweet, bakuhoe

Pomeranian: bitch

Frogger: I’d really like to know what possessed that support class kid to try and sneak up behind me like

Frogger: he thought he was being cute? Maybe a dare? All that matters is that I suplexed him on reflex and now he’s afraid of me

Small Might: you’d think most people? Would not sneak up on hero course students because Reflexes?

Frogger: *shrug*

Bubblegum: omg tsu are you ok? Is he ok?

Frogger: o yea

Frogger: his quirk is kind of a bubble-wrap thing so when he felt himself going down he activated it

Space Cadet: StrongFrog.mp4

Space Cadet: immortalized for all

Frogger: omg that looks a lot cooler than it felt

Teef: doesn’t all of it

Small Might: probably, considering day 1 I nearly tripped and fell flat on my face and went on an entire anxiety spiral of failure before Ochako caught me

Zapdos: softly, but with feeling:

Zapdos: you live like this?

Small Might: cheerfully, with exactly two hours of sleep behind me: Yes!

Flex Tape: so I call Mido for combo move training

Space Cadet: fuuuuuuuuck

Frogger: I’ll partner with you Ocha

Space Cadet: :D

Pomeranian: square tf up Soy Sauce

Flex Tape: guess I’ll die

Small Might: whoa wait no fighting over this

Small Might: it’s literally a rotating assignment we’ll all get a turn

Flex Tape: but wait

Flex Tape: how far could you throw a person, Midoriya?

Small Might: I don’t know??? I’d be afraid of breaking your bones???

Flex Tape: you have to yeet me

Flex Tape: for science

Slep: that ain’t it chief I ain’t taking a part of this

Small Might: Idk

Flex Tape: if you contained the recoil within yourself when you threw the ball day one

Flex Tape: you can keep from breaking my bones

Small Might: *sigh*

Small Might: judging by your weight and the force output I normally put out, I could punt you pretty damn far

Flex Tape: I said yeet, not punt!

Small Might: I would prefer to punt you

Flex Tape: this is bullying

Zapdos: deserved, though

Jackie Chan Furry: agreed

Izuku>>>>>Ochako

Izuku: help I’m having a gay crisis

Ochako: of what variety?

Izuku: everyone’s so strong

Izuku: and my boyfriends are distracting enough during training. How am I supposed to fight them???

Ochako: imagine pinning them? And/or kissing bruises better in a non-Recovery-Girl way?

Izuku:

Izuku: that didn’t help

Ochako: I didn’t think it would.

Izuku: then why speak?

Ochako: because you’re a disaster

Izuku: no u

Ochako: fair

Ochako: but at least I have the façade of being functioning. No one who’s spent more than an hour in your presence could possibly believe that.

Izuku: >:(

Ochako: ok so I have a bet with Tsu/I finally asked her out

Izuku: :D

Izuku: explain?

Ochako: whoever goes farther in rankings/wins if we’re matched up gets to arrange first date

Izuku: that’s so cute

Izuku: can I steal that for mine?

Ochako: haven’t you already been on dates with all of them?

Izuku: well yeah but still the concept is fun

Izuku: and actually helpful because it gives me another Specific Goal which makes my anxiety about the whole thing go down a small fraction

Ochako: Glad to be of help!

Izuku: Thanks!

Six Gays in a Room Bitching

Mint Chip: Idea I stole from Ochako:

Mint Chip: person that goes the farthest in the festival gets to plan six-month anniversary group date, no questions asked

Mint Chip: second gets the next major holiday, third gets to choose their next one one-on-one date with everyone else no questions asked, fourth gets to pick meals for dates for a month, fifth gets the same for 2 weeks after, and sixth gets cuddle pile in

their room next

Butter Pecan: so what you’re saying is that if I win I plan y’all’s date?

Mint Chip: yes??? It’d be a friend-iversary in your case but still an anniversary?

Butter Pecan: yisss

Butter Pecan: y’all have no idea what kind of a date I’ve got ready

2-GAY-2-Function

Flex Tape: Sports

Bubblegum: Festival

Teef: 2

Zapdos: Electric

Pomeranian: fuck you

Zapdos: *boogaloo

Pomeranian: I said what I said

Slep: well that’d make an interesting first round

Bubblegum: I’M WHEEZING

Zapdos: you know what katsuki

Pomeranian: I probably know what

Zapdos: interrupting much?? Rude???

Pomeranian: this is not new information on me

Zapdos: still

Zapdos: I was gonna say

Zapdos: can you teach me how to cook?

Pomeranian: you just read directions on boxes and then remember how to do the different steps

Zapdos: gah you know what I mean

Pomeranian: ok we’ll start with difficult-to-fuck-up kind of stuff and work our way up

Flex Tape: owo what’s this?

Pomeranian: gdi no

Teef: can I learn too???

Pomeranian: only the people in the “Six Gays in a Room Bitching” and “Kirishima Protection Squad” gcs otherwise the kitchen will be too crowded

Pomeranian: the rest of you can teach each other

Frogger: so the polycule and the bakusquad?

Pomeranian: yes and?

Frogger: just making sure

Frogger: because the whole class and then some are honorary Kirishima Protection Squad and I don’t want those wires crossed.

Teef: aw, thanks Tsu!!!

Frogger: np

MCR: it’s true and she should say it

Gordon Ramsay: fax

Teef: ngl whatever events they choose for the festival this year I’m going to make it at least one round further than last year!

Heely Nightmare: that is an admirable goal, but for that to be true, one of us would have to fall behind. It will not be me.

Yaomom: I think we all know without a doubt that if Midoriya and Bakugou had secondary quirks, they would have had some sort of encouraging effect because after their speeches last year I still know for sure my goal is to win

Pomeranian: this time I’m going to fucking earn my win

Small Might: try me

Zapdos: as much as I love chaos let’s keep the pseudo trash talk out of the chat yeah

Small Might: fair

Toshinori>>>>>Izuku

Toshinori: Good evening Izuku!

Izuku: Good evening Sensei! What’s up?

Toshinori: would you mind coming up to my apartment for a few minutes? I’d like to speak with you about something in person!

Izuku, predictably, was concerned as he knocked on the door. What would he be talking about? A new aspect of One for All? Villains? His grades?

He didn’t seem all that grave when he answered the door, so Izuku crossed his fingers that all was well, more or less.

Wearing loungewear that Momo had made on request from Mina and holding a large, round mug, he was definitely not acting as “All Might” or “Yagi-sensei” at the moment. It definitely put Izuku at ease.

“Hi, Sensei!” he chirped, following him in. His eyes softened as he led Izuku to the couch and patted beside him.

“Please, Midoriya, when we’re in private, Toshinori is fine. This is more of a personal conversation besides.”

Izuku blinked as that clicked. What—

“As you know, your mother and I have been together for six months now. I’m aware that it hasn’t been very long at all, but with all the health and heroing risks I have had, I feel as though hesitating while waiting for some acceptable time would be useless.”

Was he saying—

“And I know, of course, that you are her only family, and that you mean very much to each other and to me. I was hoping, if you wouldn’t object—that I might be able to consider myself part of your family.”

Okay, Deku, don’t cry don’t cry don’t cry—

Tears started streaming down his face and he nodded vigorously.

“Mom would love that! She really would! And so would I, of course, I mean Shouto thought I was your secret love child a year ago so it’s not like it’s unreasonable anyway, and I really look up to you, and Mom loves you, and—”

“Breathe!” chuckled Toshinori. “I’m glad to hear it. I had hoped that was the case. Further, if she says yes—”

“When, you mean,” Izuku said, raising an eyebrow.

“If,” he repeated, “I wanted to ask you more specifically: if she says yes, would it be all right if I adopted you?”

Okay, fuck not crying, Izuku was bawling.

“Okay, yes, yes, that’s absolutely amazing,”

“I’m going to ask her next week,” he said. “Can you keep it a secret that long?”

“Absolutely!”

Chapter Text

The Mighty Fam

Y’all: I know we haven’t used this in a while, and I’d like to apologize for my end of that.

Y’all: There’s a lot going on. That’s no excuse for not speaking with you both as often as possible, especially knowing our line of work.

Tarot: I know I made it quite clear how I felt about the matter.

Y’all: I wasn’t fair to you in that situation, I know. There’s a lot I have to answer for.

Y’all: I also know that I didn’t end up picking your choice for my successor, and I understand that it doesn’t show much trust in you. I’ll fully admit I’m at fault there.

Zoom: Your point, kid?

Y’all: Some important things are happening in my life, now, and I want you both to be a part of it. You’re very important to me.

Zoom: Jesus are you dying kid??

Y’all: No! Not anything like that!

Y’all: I just proposed to my girlfriend and asked her son if he’d like to be adopted.

Zoom: holy fuck

Tarot: What

Y’all: Her name is Inko, and her son is Izuku, who also happens to be my successor. I met her because of him, and I love them both very much.

Tarot: Congratulations

Tarot: When will the wedding be?

Zoom: jeez kid you sure know how to make a man feel his age

Y’all: we haven’t decided on a date just yet

Y’all: but I would like for you to stand in as father of the groom, sensei

Y’all: and you as my best man, Mirai

Zoom: Of course I will.

Tarot:

Tarot: I’m honored and would love to be your best man.

Izuku Protection Squad

Broccoli: I’m d y i n g rn

You’ll Float Too: what happened?

Broccoli: ALL MIGHT

Broccoli: PROPOSED

Broccoli: and he asked me if I’d like to be his son

Iidad: Did she say yes? Did you say yes?

Broccoli: She did!

Broccoli: also who do you think I am duh I said yes

Broccoli: but I’m also happy panicking like

Broccoli: it’s insane

Zuko: all this means is that I was sort of right in the end

Broccoli: S H U T

Sasaki Mirai>>>>>Midoriya Izuku

Sasaki: This is Sir Nighteye. All Might gave me your number recently.

Sasaki: If you would be inclined, I’d like you to do your work study after the Sports Festival under me.

Midoriya: Oh wow, Sir Nighteye? Seriously?

Sasaki: I would not ask if I was not serious, Midoriya. I doubt you would receive a better offer elsewhere.

Midoriya: You’re right! I plan on being there, then!

Sasaki: I look forward to seeing your potential. All Might must have taken to you very well to choose you as both his successor and his son. I hope you do not disappoint.

Midoriya: I won’t!

Sasaki: We’ll see.

Small Might>>>>>Dad Might

Small Might: Sir just texted me about the work study! He wants me to work with him!

Dad Might: Really?

Small Might: “I would not ask if I was not serious, Midoriya.”

Dad Might: Yes that does sound like Sir

Dad Might: Admittedly, he is very intense, and he has had a student he’d been training to potentially be my successor. He may be a bit sharp with you because I chose you before even meeting his student.

Dad Might: But he is a good man and can indeed be impartial. Please don’t take it to heart!

Small Might: !

Small Might: I’ll keep that in mind!

Six Gays in a Room Bitching

Blueberry Swirl: are y’all ready for the Sports Festival?

Butter Pecan: YEEEAHH

Blueberry Swirl: please do not imitate mic that’s weird

Butter Pecan: no promises

Blueberry Swirl: he is my father

Blueberry Swirl: Denki please

Butter Pecan: ugh fine

2-Gay-2-Function

Jackie Chan Furry: Also can we all agree not to go after serial killers on our work study after the Sports Festival?

Jackie Chan Furry: @Heely Nightmare @Polish Flag @Small Might

Heely Nightmare: ok fair

Polish Flag: Hey if no serial killers try to kill my friends or vice versa I have no reason to go after them

Small Might: rt

Space Cadet: rt

Violet Parr: you know

Violet Parr: we all joke that the Bakusquad are disasters

Violet Parr: but tbh it’s the Izucrew with more feral energy than I can handle

MCR: It is true.

Violet Parr: Bakusquad: their leader, Bakugou, follows the rules and goes to bed earlier than literally everyone. Kirishima is somft, Denki might do dumbass things but has one of the lowest rates of detention in the class, Ashido leads self-care days, Sero and Bakugou run study sessions for them. No one has been caught out of curfew.

Violet Parr: Izucrew: Their leader has definitely broken multiple actual laws, does not sleep on a regular schedule, and is Legit Kinda Scary Sometimes. The “rule follower” Iida tried to commit actual homicide once. Todoroki rebelled (justified but still) against his father to the point of potentially affecting his health. Uraraka could and would fight anyone. Tsu is the only one who doesn’t seem to cause trouble. Their “self-care” nights are after-curfew movie nights.

Frogger: I just don’t get caught

Jackie Chan Furry: Fear

Almost Hentai: so what you’re saying is that Bakugou’s the tightlaced rule follower and Izuku’s the feral child?

Violet Parr: I’m saying that appearances can be deceiving :)

Just Keep Smiling

Nighteye has added Midoriya Izuku to the chat!

Nighteye has changed Midoriya Izuku’s name to “Deku”

Nighteye: Welcome to the Nighteye Agency, Midoriya. This chat is secure for hero purposes but can also be utilized for social interaction and advice.

Lemillion: Hi Midoriya! I’m Mirio!

Deku: Hi!!! I’m excited to be working with everyone!

Bubble Girl: omg can we keep him? so cute?

Centipeder: Welcome, Midoriya. I look forward to seeing you around the agency.

Lemillion: I overheard from a friend that you’re working with Principal Nezu on Quirk Analysis? That’s super useful, man!

Centipeder: Nezu himself?

Deku: He’s helping me weaponize my fanboy tendencies, haha

Deku: my quirk came abnormally late, so before it activated I studied other quirks a lot because it was so interesting! Please let me know if you’d like me to work on analysis for you!

Nighteye: I wasn’t aware of that. I would very much like to look over some of your notes and, if you’re amenable, work with the agency’s analysts for an afternoon to gain some insight.

Deku: That sounds amazing!

Nighteye: Very well. Please be on time and suited up for patrol tomorrow.

Deku: Absolutely, Sir!

Izuku Protection Squad

You’ll Float Too: I’m definitely so pumped for the provisional license exam but also like

You’ll Float Too: it makes the hero thing even more real? Paperwork? Permission to do things?

Broccoli: ikr? I Am Still Not An Adult?

Tsu: funny how life-threatening situations haven’t forced us into responsibility, but paperwork does

Broccoli: well, all the life-threatening was out of our control/not exactly legal

Iidad: Damn Hagakure was right about us

Zuko: There was any doubt?

Iidad: I had hoped so

Zuko: I mean you admitted yourself that you’re a chaotic gremlin child, I don’t know why you’re going back on that

Iidad: fair but you didn’t have to say it

Zuko: I live to be petty, Iida

You’ll Float Too: I know this and I love you

Endeavor Sucks

Smol Zuko has changed Azula but Better’s name to “Discount Azula”

Discount Azula: rude

Discount Azula: but also my name in the pro hero chat so? Not wrong?

#1 Hawks Stan: omg lol

#1 Hawks Stan: so essentially my online boyfriend? Is probably a criminal? I think?

Smol Zuko: uh

Smol Zuko: and how do you feel about that? What kind of criminal?

Discount Azula: like “underage drinking, shoplifting from Walmart” criminal or “probably killed people” criminal

#1 Hawks Stan: he had to change phone numbers? Because his main was hacked for info? So on a sliding scale hard to say whether it’s like, corporate level shit or very concerning violence

Teacher Voice: shouldn’t you idk report him?

#1 Hawks Stan: Should I??? Touya???

Discount Azula: idk probably but how ok are you with his potentially-murdery-criminal activity personally?

#1 Hawks Stan: . . . eh? I don’t know. Less okay the more murder involved, but also: I know a lot of it had to do with a controlling parent and I just Feel Bad

Discount Azula: *sigh*

Discount Azula: do you know his name?

#1 Hawks Stan: Shimura Tenko. Couldn’t find anything from a google search but that doesn’t mean much tbh

Smol Zuko: huh I feel like I’ve heard Shimura somewhere

Smol Zuko: but not sure

Smol Zuko: what else do you know about him?

#1 Hawks Stan: well he knows I have siblings, I know he has none but that he kind of considers his coworkers family but also assholes

#1 Hawks Stan: was raised partially by his sensei and partially by a caretaker; the caretaker seems to actually be not a shithead but the sensei was

#1 Hawks Stan: let’s just say he made our home lives seem loving and normal

Almost Azula: huh

#1 Hawks Stan: but I’m not sure about most specific stuff. He was raging about two of his subordinates ditching?

Almost Azula: and you met him through what?

#1 Hawks Stan: animal crossing/discord

#1 Hawks Stan: I was streaming for the hell of it; his island had peaches and I had cherries

#1 Hawks Stan: we got to talking and he’s uber socially awkward but also funny as hell

#1 Hawks Stan: and like has no respect for pro heroes which may be a criminal related thing but is also super hilarious like

#1 Hawks Stan: he sends me “I would sell Hawks to Satan for one corn chip” kind of memes and shitty edits of different current heroes in pre-quirk-era comic book panels

Almost Azula: wait just a fucking minute

Almost Azula: I know someone with that shitty sense of humor

#1 Hawks Stan: ?!?!

Almost Azula: give me a minute

League of Assholes

Bluedabadi: ok first of all fuckhands @Jazz Hands

Jazz Hands: I have absolutely nothing to say to you, “Dabi”

Bluedabadi: is your name Shimura Tenko

Jazz Hands:

Jazz Hands: how in the fuck did you find that out?

Bluedabadi: so yes. cool cool

Bluedabadi: what is your new horizons islands natural fruit?

Jazz Hands: the fuck

Bluedabadi: is it peaches

Jazz Hands: yes???

Yandere: why is Touya-kun still in the chat?

Jazz Hands: I can’t kick him Sensei had the fucking admin permissions

Bluedabadi: oh?? Really??

Jazz Hands: obvi I made a new one but I also can’t leave/kick/delete this one

Bluedabadi: relax shig I’m not going to spam you

Bluedabadi: just needed to confirm some info

Endeavor Sucks

Discount Azula: Todoroki Natsuo.

Smol Zuko: oof a period and a full name

#1 Hawks Stan: yes??? I am afraid??? Do you know my boyfriend???

Discount Azula: anything your boyfriend say specifically about those coworkers that ditched?

#1 Hawks Stan: that he suspected “golden boy” but not the “edgelord”

Discount Azula: you know fair

Discount Azula: congrats, your boyfriend is shigaraki

Smol Zuko: your boyfriend w h a t

#1 Hawks Stan: oh

#1 Hawks Stan: I

#1 Hawks Stan: you’re the edgelord

Discount Azula: Yes, Natsuo, I’m the edgelord.

#1 Hawks Stan: hnnnng

#1 Hawks Stan: I really don’t know how to feel about this

#1 Hawks Stan: if I pretend nothing has been revealed can I just continue business as usual?

Discount Azula: no

Smol Zuko: no

Teacher Voice: no

Discount Azula has changed #1 Hawks Stan’s name to “FuckHands”

Teacher Voice: Touya! No!

Discount Azula: it’s accurate

FuckHands: no

Teacher Voice has changed Fuckhands’s name to “Animal Crossing”

Teacher Voice: more tasteful but still full of implications

Discount Azula: Thank you, Fuyumi!

Animal Crossing: aaargh

Natsuo>>>>>Tenko

Natsuo: in case you’re wondering why Touya asked about animal crossing

Natsuo: Hi, I’m Todoroki Natsuo, his brother. The older one, not the high schooler.

Tenko: . . . ah. I’m assuming this is a breakup conversation then?

Natsuo: Well I don’t exactly want to

Natsuo: I’ve liked you this whole time, you know that. For a certain level of honest, have you been honest with me? I mean, there are things neither of us were ready to share.

Tenko: relatively so

Natsuo: including, but not limited to screenshot.jpg [screenshot of text conversation between Tenko and Natsuo, where Tenko admits that ever since his mentor and he were separated, he’s been feeling off-balance and unsure whether he’s ever really had a choice in things, whether it matters, questioning his identity.]

Tenko: That was entirely truthful.

Natsuo: Would you consider turning yourselves in?

Tenko: And were you truthful about the hero system being hypocritical?

Natsuo: hell yeah

Natsuo: but hypocrites aren’t by and large more in the wrong than murderers. Which you are.

Tenko: I was six

Natsuo: what?

Tenko: I was six when Sensei took me in after I killed my family with my quirk’s first activation.

Natsuo: oh fuck

Natsuo: . . . And the guy can take and give quirks as much as he wants. And you were a kid—you’ve never really had a choice, Tenko. But now you are an adult with freedom. You can change the system by being an example. Be the kind of man you wish would have helped you when you were a kid.

Natsuo: that’s why I became a doctor, after all, instead of a hero.

Tenko:

Tenko: I need to talk to Kurogiri and Compress. They are the Adults™ in the building.

Natsuo: It all depends on your choices going forward, Tenko. I really do care about you—that hasn’t changed. Whether or not I feel like it’s a good idea to stay together? I’m not sure, and that’s unrelated to how much I care.

Tenko: Fair enough. Would you like me to contact you in the future or leave you alone?

Natsuo: I think I need a day or two to adjust and decide how I feel specifically. I was aware you were a dangerous person, but I didn’t know just how much. Touya will no doubt be pissed that I didn’t break up with you right away, but he doesn’t get a say in my relationships.

Tenko: you know, I really can’t see you being related to your brother at all

Natsuo: Surprisingly, most people say we’re really similar. Anyway, give me a few days to deal, and hopefully figure out your own situation.

Tenko: I will figure it out. I’d like to stay together, but changing everything . . . I will think about it.

Natsuo: at this point that’s all I’m going to ask. If you don’t change, I don’t really see a future for us, but . . . I don’t know.

Endeavor Sucks

Animal Crossing: So

Animal Crossing: I may have talked him into thinking about turning himself in. Not into the actual act, but into thinking about it.

Discount Azula: holy shit

Smol Zuko: we’re talking about the same person right??

Teacher Voice: he must care about you a lot, huh, Natsu?

Animal Crossing: yeah it's actually kind of terrifying

Discount Azula: holy fuck he actually is considering it???

Animal Crossing: He didn’t say yes or no but consider: this is the first time All for One is out of the picture for him since he was six.

Discount Azula: can I use my hero-related resources to look up Shimura?

Animal Crossing: yeah esp since Shouto said he might know it. Can’t be too classified.

Smol Zuko: Ok I searched my other group chats and Shimura Nana was All Might’s mentor - probably a relative?

Discount Azula: h o l y fuck

Just Keep Smiling

Lemillion: Here’s your daily Y’all Might’ve meme!

Lemillion: iMhERe.png

Deku: asdjklf

Deku: Do you seriously send these every day???

Lemillion: yes I follow the creator of the meme on tumblr so

Deku: oh n o

Bubble Girl: ?

Deku: nothing

Bubble Girl: methinks the gay doth protest too much

Deku: *bi

Bubble Girl: methinks the bi doth protest too much

Deku: rude

Lemillion: why? Is there something wrong with the Hero Menagerie blog?

Deku: nope

Lemillion: omg kohai is it you????

Deku: why would you speak

Nighteye: I had Centipeder look into the little girl we met on patrol earlier, Izuku.

Nighteye: . . . you are Hero Menagerie?

Deku: cool do you think if I used my quirk at full strength I could leap into the sun

Nighteye: Your work is impressive. Many of our analysis interns actually use you as an example of why they joined the industry.

Deku: really????

Nighteye: Indeed.

Nighteye: Back to business—security around the area has caught her running away from a general area multiple times over the past year. It is definitely concerning that she is a repeat runaway—either her father is neglectful in watching her, or we have worse to deal with. I will assign Bubble Girl to lead the team in looking out for her. You, Lemillion, and I will be focusing on the Shie Hassaikai case.

Deku: Thank you for listening! It may seem like paranoia, but I’d rather her be safe and it be a mistake than leaving her in a bad situation.

Nighteye: Of course. Intuition means a lot. Please rest well tonight and be ready for a long rest of the week—this investigation will be grueling.

League of Villains

I’m Already Tracer: Hypothetically:

I’m Already Tracer: Say I disband the League and apply everyone for the reform program Hawks initiated. Thoughts?

Big Sis: ???

TMNT: What

Just Monika: Excuse? Me?

I’m Already Tracer: Giran approached me with some yakuza leader with a plague mask. Apparently they have an operation attempting to create a quirk-erasing bullet. Touya and Hawks have already contacted me separately about Sensei being arrested and apparently the only person they also definitely want in Tartarus without question is Ujiko. We’d all get lighter sentences and either community service or therapy or both.

I’m Already Tracer: I was in this because I didn’t know anything else. I’m not so sure anymore.

Dadgiri: I will follow you, Tomura. Your choice is going to be mine.

Magic Man: What brought this on?

Dadgiri: Plenty of shit, I don’t know. My boyfriend found out who I am, for one.

Just Monika: BOYFRIEND

I’m Already Tracer: yes

I’m Already Tracer: my civilian med student boyfriend who I just found out is Dabi’s brother, Todoroki Natsuo.

Big Sis: well fuck

I’m Already Tracer: I suppose I’m just laying it out there. Either get stronger, follow Sensei’s plan, maybe ally with the yakuza—or turn myself in and just. Stop.

Dadgiri: What are you leaning towards?

I’m Already Tracer: I don’t know

TMNT: Huh

TMNT: so just

TMNT: Abandoning everything?

I’m Already Tracer: what would we have gained, really?

I’m Already Tracer: Power, but for how long? To do what?

I’m Already Tracer: I didn’t want to be the successor to Stain’s ideals. I just used him as an excuse.

Big Sis: I joined up because Giran proposed the idea and I needed someone to work with. Dunno what else I’d do.

TMNT: I

TMNT: I don’t know what to say.

Double Trouble: I think we all just wanted to be more than society’s leftovers.

Double Trouble: I’m joining the yakuza fuckers

Just Monika: And what Hawks asked about? Is it serious or bullshit?

Magic Man: I shudder to think what the Hero Commission would treat us like for “reform”

Big Sis: Hawks ousted the majority of the HPSC when he became #1 and replaced them with his own douchebags, so at least relatively, I think we’d be fine

TMNT: “relatively”

Big Sis: Not like I know anyone but Hawks himself personally, so yeah

I’m Already Tracer: show of hands: who’d rather join the yakuza

Just Monika: ew no I saw the leader walk in

Just Monika: he gave off major bad touch vibes

Just Monika: like, worse than you shiggy

I’m Already Tracer: Thanks, that means a lot, Toga. Anyone?

Big Sis: nah. I’ll either go to work for Giran or join up with you

Magic Man: Unsure at the moment, but probably the same as Magne.

TMNT: I don’t know. Probably not the Shie Hassaikai. I’d probably go back to Giran too.

Just Monika: Whatever you want to do, Twice, I’ll go! Besties gotta stick together!

Double Trouble: I’ll stick with Shiggy!

Double Trouble: fuck this!

Dadgiri: You already know my opinion on the matter, Tomura.

I’m Already Tracer:

I’m Already Tracer: It’s Tenko, actually.

Chapter Text

Shigaraki>>>>>Hawks

Shigaraki: Is the reform program still an option?

Hawks: Yes. I assume you’re asking because you want in?

Shigaraki: Me, Kurogiri, Toga, Magne, Twice, Compress, and Spinner

Shigaraki: All the others either dropped to join the yakuza or ran off.

Hawks: Huh ok. Part of the deal is that you give us info on Ujiko, AFO, and other allies.

Shigaraki: I’ll tell you what I know. Most of the rest of the team doesn’t have info, though.

Hawks: Who would?

Shigaraki: Kurogiri was my caretaker, so I imagine he knows more than me.

Hawks: Doubtful. He’s the first Noumu.

Shigaraki: . . . what

Hawks: oh shit you didn’t know? He’s different from the others based on the records Touya managed to grab, but yeah, he was one of, if not the first

Shigaraki: Well hell

Shigaraki: I’m . . . going to go talk to him.

Shigaraki: And just in case you think I’m bullshitting about signing on: Shie Hassaikai is developing a quirk-erasing bullet derived from a little girl’s quirk. He came to me for an alliance before I’d decided what I was going to do.

Hawks: I’ll pass it on to the heroes working the case.

Just Keep Smiling

Nighteye: @all Centipeder please be prepared to take over the agency for some time. The yakuza had support from lower-ranking members of the League of Villains and is developing a quirk-erasing bullet based on the information of a new informant.

Lemillion: Quirk-erasing? That’s crazy. Impressive-wise and danger-wise.

Nighteye: Agreed. We’re going to head to their base in six hours with the team we discussed.

Centipeder: We will continue to uphold the standards of your agency, Sir.

Pro(fessional)s & Con(fidential)s

Sir: News speculation is overexaggerating my condition. I am not dying; the professionals that were on the scene have managed to get me out of the worst of it. Eri was able to undo the damage done to my intern, Mirio, using the quirk-erasing bullets that the group created. Thanks to our informant and the League’s lack of support, Overhaul is down and there are minimal injuries.

Sir: However, I have run into an issue:

Sir: is anyone willing/able to adopt a traumatized seven-year-old girl with a volatile quirk?

Bible Discussion & Study Meeting: hm

Bible Discussion & Study Meeting: @President Michael @Care Bear Stare

Care Bear Stare: Let me talk with Mic.

President Michael: What’s her name?

Sir: Eri. She’s very sweet and timid, and she’s become quite attached to Mirio and Izuku.

Sir: Izuku was the first to notice that Eri was in a bad situation before we even found out she was with Overhaul.

This Family is a Nightmare

Sleep Dad: How are you feeling about this, Mic?

Scream Dad: I actually? Really want to?

Purple Son: want to what?

Sleep Dad: how would you feel about getting a little sister

Purple Son: ?

Purple Son: how little? What’s her name? Where did you meet her?

Scream Dad: we haven’t met her yet, but we know her name’s Eri, she was kept/abused by Overhaul, she’s seven, and she likes Izuku.

Purple Son: who doesn’t?

Purple Son: don’t answer that

Purple Son: why don’t we meet her and see? It could be a “babysitting” gig for a day to test the waters.

Sleep Dad: I don’t want to just pick her up and toss her.

Scream Dad: sounds like you want to adopt her, Sho.

Purple Son: counter suggestion: have her stay in the dorms for a day with you two, see how you feel, take her home anyway because you have a stray problem

Sleep Dad: I do not have a stray problem

Scream Dad: we kind of do, Sho.

Sleep Dad: I’ll ask Nighteye if we can meet her.

Pro(fessional)s & Con(fidential)s

Care Bear Stare: I’d like to meet her first with the rest of my family. If she isn’t comfortable around us, I wouldn’t want to force her.

Sir: That sounds good. I’ll have Mirio text you the details.

KFC: The League is disbanding and agreeing to join the reform program!

Bun Bun: define, “the League”

KFC: Shigaraki, Kurogiri, Compress, Twice, Spinner, Toga, Magne

KFC: the rest scattered, but we’re getting info on Ujiko and the other members.

Care Bear Stare: I find it very hard to believe

KFC: well duh

KFC: everyone will be in quirk-nullifying restraints for intake. Most of them, before they joined up, either have low-level criminal records or none at all.

Bun Bun: huh you really befriended them during that spy stint huh?

KFC: I’m human and, putting their crimes aside, they’re people. Hell, Toga’s a minor.

Whale Hail: wait what

Edna Mode: the vampire sailor moon girl?

KFC: yup

Edna Mode: I’d like to sponsor her case, then.

Whale Hail: dammit tsunagu I was gonna take her

Giant Woman: sponsoring?

KFC: for the program, we’re having individual heroes sign up to mentor/guard/detain individual villains. I’ll let you two fight it out over who gets Toga.

Care Bear Stare: always the “dangerous” quirks, huh, Jeanist?

Edna Mode: can you blame me when you’re adopting Eri, Eraserhead?

Care Bear Stare: you know fair

Bible Discussion & Study Meeting: I’ll sponsor Compress!

KFC: sounds good! Drop by my agency tomorrow and we’ll work out the paperwork

Whale Hail: I think I’ll take Spinner. Mutation quirk solidarity, and all

Bun Bun: I’ll take on Magne – she seems like a challenge.

Y’all Might’ve: If no one else is already signed on with him, I would like to sign up for Shigaraki’s care.

Bun Bun: really?

Care Bear Stare: I wouldn’t think he’d be high on your list, considering his connection with All for One.

Y’all Might’ve: Had life been kinder in general, he’d probably consider me an uncle. Unfortunately, All for One was the one to take him in after his parents’ deaths, despite the fact that his grandmother was my mentor. I’d like to make up for what time we’ve missed, even if he may not want anything to do with me.

President Michael: be careful, Yagi. He may not want you there for the same reason.

Y’all Might’ve: And I will rescind my position if someone else is better-suited. I still want to try.

KFC: I’m having my sidekicks help me out with Twice.

Care Bear Stare: and Kurogiri?

KFC: he’s a Noumu, though a sentient one made from a single person, so his situation is quite a bit different. We’re going to work with Recovery Girl and some other people to see if we can undo the work Ujiko did on him.

Bun Bun: do we know if he has a previous identity?

KFC: not yet; no one’s actually turned themselves in. We’ll be transporting people tomorrow night.

KFC: Interestingly enough, Shigaraki didn’t know he was a noumu. I think he was really upset by it.

Care Bear Stare: If his consciousness from whatever other person he was is returned, what then?

KFC: depends on who he was. Villain that isn’t remorseful? Tartarus. Villain that still wants to reform? Same as the rest of the league. Civilian? Partial reform and massive, massive amounts of therapy.

KFC: and if he was a hero before, well, the same goes and we’ll see if we can’t get him a license if he wants it. After a shitton of therapy.

Whale Hail: I hadn’t even considered that an option. That’s . . . frightening at best.

KFC: yup

Sir: My agency recovered some of the quirk-nullifying bullets Overhaul was creating. Would the medical team benefit from having the chemical makeup?

Care Bear Stare: One of my students can create/recreate something with her quirk. They will not need to use Eri to restock if they require more.

Sir: That’s reassuring, especially after how Overhaul used her to make his weapon.

Care Bear Stare: I saw the reports; that was my thought as well.

League of Assholes

Jazz Hands: finally figured out the admin permissions

Yandere: care to explain??? What you meant??? Your name isn’t Shiggy???

Jazz Hands: Shimura Tenko’s my actual name. AFO named me Shigaraki Tomura when he took me in. And apparently renamed Kurogiri as well.

Dadgiri: Excuse me?

Jazz Hands: Are you or are you not a noumu?

Dadgiri: I—

Dadgiri: I am unable to say one way or the other.

Jazz Hands: do you not know or?

Dadgiri: I am unable.

Jazz Hands: Shit. Okay. Hawks is gonna have his medical team all over you to figure out who you were beforehand. I’ll bring along what I have of Ujiko’s and see if anyone can make sense of it.

Dadgiri: That is appreciated.

Jazz Hands: come to think of it, early on you kind of had two personalities—

Jazz Hands: the really cheery sarcastic Kurogiri and the really weird proper butler one

Jazz Hands: I was a dumbass kid so I didn’t know what was going on but looking back, they were probably suppressing your memory/mind.

Dadgiri: I’m going to pour one last round of drinks from the bar and finally pour myself one while I’m working. Then I’m going to sleep for however long it takes for the heroes to pick us up.

Houdini: that’s fair

Mag: please I need a martini like yesterday

Dadgiri: I wonder if I was a bartender before I was a noumu

YesNo: that would be hilarious

YesNo: that would be shitty

Dadgiri: I agree with both sentiments

Natsuo>>>>>Tenko

Natsuo: holy shit you really did it???

Tenko: our phones are being tapped by our hero sponsors, just fyi

Tenko: say hi to all might and whoever else

Natsuo: Hi!!!!!

Natsuo: But also:

Natsuo: I’m really proud of you, Tenko. It’s still not the best situation because of what you did in the past, but—if you’re really in this for the long haul, I’m definitely willing to try on my side.

Tenko: I’m in it. I don’t know how it’s going to work or what I’ll do after all the initial stuff, but—I don’t want to be a puppet anymore. Not a villain. Not a hero.

Natsuo: Just Tenko?

Tenko: god I don’t even really know what that would be but it sounds great

Natsuo: are you allowed to have visitors or whatever

Tenko: I don’t know? I think they mostly want to keep the league physically separated, but we are allowed our phones with monitors, so we aren’t completely out of contact

Tenko: I don’t think they expect us to have lives outside of the league? Especially me?

Natsuo: Ask!!!

Tenko: “All Might, can I have my secret civilian boyfriend over?”

Natsuo: I don’t have to be a secret, you know

Natsuo: media shitstorms don’t bother me

Tenko: if you’re sure?

Natsuo: hell yeah. I’d like to actually talk to you in person!

Natsuo: how are you handling it?

Tenko: it’s . . . weird. Not bad but weird

Natsuo: how so?

Tenko: like

Tenko: it’s not that I’m suddenly a different person or that I was mind controlled or something but

Tenko: it’s easier to breathe and stop without thinking about “what next?”

Natsuo: yeah I actually get that part—when the trial ended I suddenly had a boatload of free time and free headspace not to think about him

Tenko: huh

Tenko: And how’s that treating you?

Natsuo: after the first week I filled it up with our Animal Crossing and Horrible Goose Game streams

Tenko: I definitely got a faster time than you on the speedrun

Natsuo: haha really funny

Natsuo: let me know what Warden Might says

Tenko: will do

2-Gay-2-Function

Zapdos: @all

Zapdos: COME TO THE COMMON ROOM RN

Zapdos: TURN ON THE NEWS

Zapdos: FUCK

Bubblegum: FUCK

Flex Tape: FUCK

Jackie Chan Furry: so wait

Jackie Chan Furry: a bunch of pro heroes are taking in the LOV to rehabilitate them

Violet Parr: I mean yes we’re all watching

Jackie Chan Furry: No but

Jackie Chan Furry: what if one of the teachers sponsors someone???

Small Might: hnnn

Small Might>>>>>Tall Might

Small Might: you’re sponsoring shigaraki aren’t you?

Tall Might: I am. He’ll be staying at my apartment near the Nighteye agency, not on campus.

Small Might: no, I figured

Small Might: just be careful with him ok?

Tall Might: of course, Izuku. I do not want to take any unnecessary risks.

Small Might: . . .

Small Might: will he be invited to the wedding?

Tall Might: Izuku!

Small Might: it’s a legitimate question! I know it’s quite a way off but I can’t decide whether the thought is horrifying or hilarious

Tall Might: Son, please.

Small Might: :3

Endeavor Sucks

Animal Crossing: Well that’s fun

Smol Zuko: you cured Shigaraki with the power of love

Animal Crossing: THAT’S NOT WHAT HAPPENED

Smol Zuko: sure, Jan

Teacher Voice: wow ok

Teacher Voice: any news on where each villain is recuperating?

Animal Crossing: Tenko’s with All Might! Partially personal reasons, partially, “no one’s going to say no to All Might, retired or not”

Smol Zuko: oh fucc

Todo>>>>>Izu

Todo: So Shigaraki’s going to be your roommate?

Izu: No omg

Izu: Toshinori-san has a secondary apartment near the Nighteye Agency so other heroes can take over when he’s away

Todo: oh thank god

Nezu>>>>>Aizawa

Nezu: Thank you for joining with Kurogiri’s investigation. I understand it’s difficult with a new child at home, but there’s something you need to know.

Aizawa: Hitoshi and Mic will take care of her. I’m on my way. What’s the info?

Nezu: AfO and Ujiko started their noumu project as an attempt to resurrect the dead. The whole Frankenstein-ian project developed into the amalgamations of useful criminals we’re used to, but it started with Kurogiri—one dead man resuscitated and brainwashed. Between Touya’s investigation and Shimura’s evidence he’s released, we’ve gathered that AfO gave him new quirks and Ujiko created a device to wipe his memory. Kurogiri allowed us to take a DNA sample and we ran tests.

Nezu: We ran it through our registries to see if he was on a criminal registry of deceased villains. Came up empty.

Aizawa: so we’re going to have to search civilian records and fix his memory?

Nezu: oh, no. I’ve already managed to find a DNA match through U.A.’s registry of students that have received provisional licenses.

Aizawa:

Aizawa: Please don’t be fucking with me. Please just speak plainly.

Nezu: Kurogiri is Shirakumo Oboro. I have someone with a memory-related quirk helping him recall everything now. I believe he will want to see you when he wakes up.

This Family is a Nightmare

Sleep Dad: Holy fucking shit

Scream Dad: What’s wrong Shouta?

Sleep Dad: Nezu explained why he called me in on Kurogiri.

Purple Son: Should I be hearing any of this?

Sleep Dad: doesn’t matter it’ll be declassified soon and you know how to keep your mouth shut until then

Sleep Dad: anyway so we know the noumus were people and mind controlled, experimented on and tortured, right?

Sleep Dad: Kurogiri is a Noumu. But he’s not made of multiple people, just one person mind controlled and experimented on. A person that has been dead for years, but now without the brainwashing remembers who he was. And

Sleep Dad: It was OBORO

Sleep Dad: Our fucking best friend. Our fucking boyfriend. And All for One used him as a babysitter/taxi service for Shigaraki of all people

Scream Dad: he what

Sleep Dad: I fought him at USJ, I saw him that damn early with all this shit, and I didn’t know

Sleep Dad: I didn’t fucking know

Purple Son: Fuck

Purple Son: That’s. That’s insane.

Scream Dad: Shouta, I need you to take deep, slow breaths. I need you to look at where you are and think rationally.

Scream Dad: The situation is terrible, but we got him back. Oboro is there and alive, even if it isn’t the best way, it’s better than him still being Kurogiri. If you hadn’t saved Eri and adopted her, we might never have known

Scream Dad: We might never have been able to fix things. It’s terrifying, and you’re allowed to be upset. Please take care of yourself, Shouta, and then we can work on helping Oboro.

Hizashi Yamada >>>>> Shinou Hitoshi

Hizashi: he was that Oboro. As in our third in high school that died Oboro

Shinsou: Holy shit

Shinsou: That’s why he’s reacting like that? Are you ok??

Hizashi: Oh, believe me, I’m freaking out, too, but I’m with you and Eri at home, and he’s right in the thick of it. We were our generation’s Big 3, if you’d believe it. Best friends, constantly training together, big ideas of being hero partners.

Hizashi: I just want you to be prepared for any situation, and I don’t think he needs to be reminded any more than he is of what this means

This Family is a Nightmare

Sleep Dad: Thank you, Zashi. I needed that. Sorry for the freak out, Shinsou.

Purple Son: Hey, no worries on my end—as long as you’re ok?

Sleep Dad: I will be, hopefully. Kurogiri already agreed to the reform program without Oboro’s memories, and Nezu having me visit him

Sleep Dad: According to the initial interview file, Oboro requested that he be placed in a rehab program that would allow him to eventually work towards his hero license. Which is centered at U.A. I’ve been asked to house him, but he doesn’t know I’m here yet.

Scream Dad: Bring him home, Shouta. We’ll work out the rest.

Sleep Dad: Hitoshi?

Purple Son: Bring him home, Dad.

Aizawa shuddered, pressing his phone to his chest and staring up at the ceiling. His family was too good for him. Apparently, the DNA testing had matched close to the end of the memory therapy. Everything was happening very quickly.

The guard at the door of the office nodded absently at him. He nodded back, willing himself to move forward.

Oboro looked older. Wild hair, once a pale blue, was dark purple and black, and he’d grown a bit of a dark scruff of facial hair as well. Huh, the three of them matched in that regard. His eyes were golden, now, and not quite as wide as they’d once been. He was wearing the same shirt, tie, and vest—though now the sleeves were rolled up, and he had a scar across his nose where a nasal strip once sat. A cross between Kurogiri and Shirakumo.

“How are you feeling?” asked the doctor—a young man with long hair and soft features. He pushed his glasses up his nose.

“Like shit,” Oboro groused. “The fuck. I didn’t want to be a villain. Thank goodness Kurogiri-me figured it out. I’ve put people through enough grief. Especially those kids in the hero course. I brought all that trouble to their front step. I’ll have to—I want to make up for it,” he said, scratching his head.

“Even with your mind wiped, you thought that way. One of the easiest patients I’ve had,” the doctor teased softly. He glanced over at Shouta.

“Ah, your visitor is here. I’ll be talking with the officers about your situation. Good luck.”

He stepped forward into the plain room. Oboro squinted a moment or two at him before his jaw dropped.

“Shouta?”

“Oboro,” he said, a little grin creeping up his face. “It’s been a while, depending on how you look at it. Welcome back to life, I suppose?”

This Family is a Nightmare

Sleep Dad added Shirakumo Oboro to the chat!

Shirakumo Oboro changed their name to “Dadgiri”

Scream Dad: was

Scream Dad: was that your name in the League of Villains chat, Oboro?

Dadgiri: :3

Dadgiri: maybe so

Purple Son: cool now I have three dads

Dadgiri: wait what you guys have a kid?

Scream Dad: yeah we got married and adopted a son and daughter while you were out

Dadgiri: holy shit

Dadgiri: who proposed?

Scream Dad: me first, shouta thirty seconds later because we’re dorks as usual

Dadgiri: and what’s your daughter like?

Sleep Dad: Eri is sunshine too good for this world

Scream Dad: I’ve only had Eri for a week but if anything happened to her I’d kill everyone else in this house and then myself

Dadgiri: ah, par for the course then

Dadgiri: I already love my new son and daughter

Sleep Dad:

Sleep Dad: you cannot just adopt them

Dadgiri: you did

Scream Dad: he’s got a point, sho

Dadgiri: besides my purple son has already claimed me

Dadgiri: (what is your name, purple son?)

Purple Son: (Shinsou Hitoshi)

Dadgiri: (thanks!) Hitoshi has already claimed me!

Sleep Dad: can I return you?

Dadgiri: Nope! I didn’t come with a receipt

Sleep Dad: I crave death

Six Gays in a Room Bitching

Blueberry Swirl: screenshot.png screenshot2.png

Blueberry Swirl: keep it confidential for a hot second

Butter Pecan: D a d g i r i

Mexican Chocolate: huh

Mexican Chocolate: he was the only competent one in a room while I was stuck with the League

Mexican Chocolate: I don’t know how to feel about this

Blueberry Swirl: well, he was brainwashed, so

Rocky Road: wait so is he ACTUALLY your third dad or

Blueberry Swirl: I don’t think so???

Blueberry Swirl: first I think those three need therapy and maybe to define their relationship

Blueberry Swirl: right now he’s a new weird uncle

Strawberry Shortcake: “I crave death” why is Aizawa-sensei always a mood

Mint Chip: (what is your name, purple son?)

Mint Chip: dying rn

Blueberry Swirl: Ikr?

League of Assholes

Bluedabadi: I still cannot believe they’re letting everyone keep their phones

Yandere: Closely monitored mean anything to you dabi?

Bluedabadi: Yes, and I am still surprised.

Yandere: fuck you

Stain Stan has changed their name to “Gang Orca Stan”

Gang Orca Stan: I’ve only lived with him for a day and I already simp

Bluedabadi: not surprised he’s too cool for most of us

Birb: oh speaking of too cool for us

Birb: we found out Kurogiri’s former identity! He was a hero student when he died and Ujiko snapped him up

Jazz Hands: You’re a fucking liar

Dadgiri: He’s not lying.

Dadgiri: My name is Oboro Shirakumo. Before I died, my hero name was Loud Cloud.

Dadgiri: ilivedbitch.png

Jazz Hands: what the hell

Yandere: You were a hero? I’ve never heard of Loud Cloud

Dadgiri: That’s because I was still a UA student when I died

Dadgiri: They’re letting me study to get my license while I go through therapy. I always wanted to be a hero, and I’ll be damned if I let All for One take one more thing away from me.

Jazz Hands: so Kurogiri wasn’t real, huh

Dadgiri: Oh, I’m still here, Tomura-kun. Can even use Warp Gate in addition to my old quirk. Don’t know how that’s possible

Dadgiri: My memories were gone but I was still very much myself when I wasn’t being ordered specifically. Remember your ninth birthday? That was all me.

Jazz Hands: holy shit

Jazz Hands: I thought you were high or something but that was just you being you?

Jazz Hands: Like seriously sometimes you just go batshit with malicious compliance dumbassery and you’re telling me that’s the real you coming through?

Bluedabadi: this is a man who could have stolen Midnight’s R-rated hero title

Bluedabadi: “my quirk is automatic perfect censorship why would I need to put wet clothes back on?”

Dadgiri: I cannot believe Hizashi told you that

Bluedabadi: he didn’t; Tensei did

Dadgiri: fuck

Dadgiri: Well now you all know exactly how fucked in the head I was/am, and how very not dead I am despite previous circumstances

Houdini: I believe we still need time to process. I’m freaking out that you were dead.

Dadgiri: oh don’t you worry, we’re all getting court mandated therapy to help with that. I was brainwashed, we were all manipulated, we all did shitty things—but now we’re not. I’ll probably try to re-apply for a hero license. I’d like to get back to being me.

Dadgiri: I still care about you all though. It’s weird. I was known for adopting strays in high school.

Bluedabadi: guess you never stopped

Chapter Text

Six Gays in a Room Bitching

Strawberry Shortcake: so I have neglected to Spill Tea

Butter Pecan: *gasp*

Blueberry Swirl: he just said “gasp” out loud smh

Butter Pecan: excuse you

Strawberry Shortcake: regardless

Strawberry Shortcake: natsuoanimalcrossingexposed.jpg screenshotshaming.jpg

Mint Chip: okay not to judge your brother’s taste but

Mexican Chocolate: absolutely judging your brothers’ taste

Strawberry Shortcake: *brother’s

Mexican Chocolate: I placed the goddamn apostrophe where it belonged

Strawberry Shortcake: ok fair I can’t exactly blame you lol

Strawberry Shortcake: Hawks is a disaster

Rocky Road: he’s the no. 1 tho?

Strawberry Shortcake: that doesn’t disqualify him

Mint Chip: fair and true All Might is a disaster as well

Butter Pecan: gasp!

Blueberry: . . . again?

Butter Pecan: Izuku Midoriya, how dare you slander your FATHER like that?

Mint Chip: It’s not slander? He fully admits it?

Mint Chip: Like he’s definitely somft for my mom but he’s also a nervous wreck about her, too

Rocky Road: the absolute power your mom holds

Mexican Chocolate: where do you think he got his fucking “I’m a precious bunny who needs protection” expression from?

Butter Pecan: huh

Butter Pecan: also it’s a they day

Rocky Road: !!!

Blueberry Swirl: So I have a date plan for the group

Mint Chip: Oh?

Blueberry Swirl: I have tickets to the next HeroCon

Mint Chip: OH

Butter Pecan: You? Got six tickets? This late?

Blueberry Swirl: helps that radio dad is a panelist

Mint Chip: omg how many days? What panels are happening? AAAH

Blueberry Swirl: I made a general itinerary for the panels everyone wants to go to/the favorite hero stuff, I have an artist alley/merch budget, and there’s a cosplay contest if we want to do that

Blueberry Swirl: dateplan.doc

Butter Pecan: ALL THREE DAYS WHAT

Mexican Chocolate: FUCK

Rocky Road: he saw that you added the Rex Agency panel on weaponry

Mexican Chocolate: they use actual fucking explosives for rescue hero work and fine tune them to have ridiculous precision of COURSE I’m fucking excited?

Mexican Chocolate: it’s fuckin wild

Mint Chip: do we? Want to do a group cosplay?

Butter Pecan: I have like six ideas already and one of them is really funny/inappropriate but

Blueberry Swirl: well now I have to know

Butter Pecan: ok so like, we could go as heroes that we admire and whatever but

Butter Pecan: consider: we go as the League of Villains, since this year’s con is so close to Halloween

Rocky Road: I absolutely hate it

Rocky Road: but also

Rocky Road: who’s who

Butter Pecan: clearly I’m Toga since I’ve got long enough blonde hair to pull it off a little

Butter Pecan: Shouto is Dabi because he has access to the edgelord’s actual outfit

Butter Pecan: Hitoshi is Kurogiri for the same reason but also because purple floaty hair

Butter Pecan: idek Kiri I guess would be like Spinner or male!Magne or smth? He’s too sunshine to be a villain tho I clearly did not think this through

Rocky Road: I mean I already basically have Magne’s fashion sense but spinner would be more fun as an actual costume?

Rocky Road: It’s basically cosplaying a Stain cosplay tho so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Butter Pecan: fair maybe someone else then? Twice?

Rocky Road: ooh dope I could dye my hair blonde for a day

Mint Chip: I???

Mint Chip: literally cannot imagine you blonde???

Rocky Road: I mean my hair’s naturally black so

Butter Pecan: what

Mexican Chocolate: did you not notice his roots?

Butter Pecan: No? I am a dumb bitch? You knew this?

Mexican Chocolate: okay fair but next on the costume list?

Butter Pecan: Kat could pretty much be whoever the fuck he wants? Like, I could see a really cool Compress from him??

Mexican Chocolate: at least Compress had a sense of aesthetic I’d make a great fucking magician

Butter Pecan: and obvi Izuku would be Shigaraki

Mint Chip: thanks I hate it

Mint Chip: you’re not wrong but I hate it

Mint Chip: I vote hero costumes instead

Rocky Road: I just looked at the itinerary Izu and there’s literally two separate contests because they’re doing Spooky Halloween Villain Day on Saturday. We could do both

Mexican Chocolate: both is good

Mint Chip: okay but like for hero day:

Mint Chip: Mic!Denki, Aizawa!Hitoshi, Jeanist!Kat, Crimson Riot!Kiri

Mint Chip: huh idk about me and shou tho

Strawberry Shortcake: clearly you dress as either All Might or Sir Nighteye? And I’ll go as either Supernova or Hawks. Depends on whether I feel lazy™ or Extra™

Mexican Chocolate: Dabi is your lazy day go for Hawks

Mint Chip: hnn I don’t know who I want to go as??

Blueberry Swirl: do Sir Nighteye and send a pic to all might he’ll cry because cute you already have so many all might costume pics

Mint Chip: okaaay

Strawberry Shortcake: I’ll start ordering supplies and talking to momo about some of the more specific stuff

2-Gay-2-Function

Frogger: Question for anyone that knows him well enough: what’s the limit of Monoma’s quirk copying?

Jacked Up: I don’t think anyone’s close with him in our class or he’d break down in hives

Pomeranian: it’s too bad his personality’s so shit because his quirk is fucking op

Polish Flag: (is that projecting for past behavior or)

Pomeranian: (stfu I’m a hell of a lot better than him)

Polish Flag: (point)

Jacked Up: not wrong I mean? Imagine Monoma v. Deku? Who breaks bones first?

Small Might: ???

Small Might: Idk if he’d be able to copy it since it’s you know??? Weird?

Pomeranian: holy shit wait?

Pomeranian: imagine if monoma copied OFA and then gave it to one of us ad nauseum

Pomeranian: could he???

Small Might: holy shit wait; what if he could copy AFO?

Frogger: !!!!

Midoriya>>>>>Nezu

Midoriya: question:

Midoriya: could Monoma, theoretically, copy All for One

Midoriya: and take it from All for One?

Nezu: Hm, interesting theory!

Nezu: I will consult with Monoma on the strength of his quirk and see what we can do about it. If he took all the quirks All for One had, bar perhaps the life-sustaining one, he would be rendered essentially quirkless and far less dangerous since he relies on his quirk so much.

Nezu: And I’ll do some research into All for One as well. He’s a chessmaster, so he likely kept most of it to herself. Ujiko is going to be a lynchpin in this.

Midoriya: got it!

2-Gay-2-Function

Flex Tape: hi I would not like to be doing provisional license exams instead of midterms thank

Polish Flag: I’m just glad we didn’t do it before school started

Violet Parr: now that’s a terrifying idea

Small Might: apparently there were complications with the proctors? Nezu said something was up with that anyway, not sure

Pomeranian: we’ll get our fucking licenses so we don’t have to sit on our hands if someone like the League pops up again

Jackie Chan Furry: I mean, as long as they don’t try to graduate us early when they skip steps/apply us for stuff, I’m good

Frogger: yeah I definitely need all the time I can get to prep because I Have No Idea how this is going to work after graduation

Class Reps and Teachers (Don’t Know What They’re Doing Either)

Insomniac has added Dadgiri to the chat!

Insomniac has changed Dadgiri’s name to “Cloud Hoe”

Cloud Hoe: Hey!

Cloud Hoe: fair ok

Sanic: OBORO?!

Bible Discussion & Study Meeting: OBORO?!

Cloud Hoe: uh

Bible Discussion & Study Meeting: ok we’re going to talk about this outside of the teachers’ chat because what the fuck

1ida: Uncle Shirakumo???

Sanic: Nezu was wrong. I’m not the gremlin child; it’s Shouta.

GiantRatWhoMakesAllOfTheRules: Incorrect!

GiantRatWhoMakesAllOfTheRules: all four of you were and are gremlins and menaces

Scree: thanks for the clarification

Five Dumbasses of the Apocalypse

Memes: I would like an explanation

Whips and Chains: ya same

YEET: SO since the League turned themselves in turns out Kurogiri was a brainwashed noumu person and that person was Oboro

Let Me Sleep: that’s the gist of it

Censorship Man changed their name to Warp Point

Warp Point: ILivedBitch.png

Whips and Chains: not for long hoe

Whips and Chains: talk

Warp Point: I am a) Kurogiri b) technically a recovering Noumu and the first one c) a zombie? I think?

Memes: Ah so he wasn’t exaggerating

Memes: That’s

Memes: traumatizing?

Warp Point: yup

Warp Point: my quirk is like, half Cloud half Warp now? I think if I train up I can have access to both to a fuller extent. Sorry about all stress/grief/etc involved? We can hug next time we can see each other and cry and all the Feelings that Shouta pretends don’t exist and I am also currently pretending don’t exist

Whips and Chains: but here’s the priority you aren’t considering:

Whips and Chains: I have Sushi

Warp Point: ??!?!?!?!!?

Warp Point: WHERE IS SHE

Warp Point: MY CHILD

Whips and Chains has shared their location!

Warp Point: omw

Endeavor Sucks

Discount Azula: so can we add significant others to the chat?

Teacher Voice: think about what that means very carefully Touya

Discount Azula: yes?

Teacher Voice: that means Hawks, Shimura, Bakugou, Midoriya, Shinsou, Kaminari, and Kirishima

Discount Azula: and your girlfriend?

Animal Crossing: wait what

Teacher Voice: dammit Touya

Smol Zuko: you have a girlfriend?

Teacher Voice: A crush/friend, not a girlfriend, thank you very much

Smol Zuko: ah so a future girlfriend

Teacher Voice: not necessarily! She might not like me like that

Animal Crossing: is she straight?

Teacher Voice: idk

Animal Crossing: who is it??

Teacher Voice: . . .

Teacher Voice: Miruko

Discount Azula: EXCUSE ME

Discount Azula: YOU’RE THE ONE SHE HAS A BIG GAY CRUSH ON YUMI OMG

Discount Azula: she’s literally been complaining to Hawks Tensei and me about this for like ever about a civilian girl she's been talking to and how cute she is and it's def you

Teacher Voice: . . . really?

Discount Azula: YES

Teacher Voice: I’m gonna go text her feel free to add your boyfriends to the chat

Discount Azula: yiss

Discount Azula has added Birb to the chat!

Animal Crossing has added Minecraft to the chat!

Smol Zuko has added Mint Chip +4 to the chat!

Smol Zuko has changed Mint Chip’s name to “Glowstick Bones”

Smol Zuko has changed Butter Pecan’s name to “Pichu”

Smol Zuko has changed Blueberry Swirl’s name to “Mothman”

Smol Zuko has changed Mexican Chocolate’s name to “Blasty”

Smol Zuko has changed Rocky Road’s name to “Sharkboy”

Smol Zuko: welcome to hell, aka the Todoroki sibs and significant others chat

Glowstick Bones: . . .

Glowstick Bones: hi everyone?

Birb: oh god Touya whose idea was this?

Discount Azula: mine actually

Blasty: and you thought that this combo of people being in this chat was a smart plan?

Discount Azula: smart? Who ever accused me of being smart?

Blasty: whoever gave you your pro hero license clearly

Birb: I’d defend him but my boyfriend and I are, indeed, dumbasses

Teacher Voice added Bun Bun to the chat!

Bun Bun: ooh one more chat to roast Touya and Keigo in?

Teacher Voice: I have a girlfriend now

Birb: congrats you two!!!

Mothman: I am so confused right now

Mothman: and that’s saying something, considering I gained a sister and a third father figure all this month

Minecraft: why are there so many non-Todoroki’s in the Todoroki sib/significant other chat? The numbers don’t add up?

Smol Zuko: I’m poly and therefore have five

Minecraft: ah

Minecraft: I’ll say it in person when I get the chance but sorry for the shit I did

Blasty:

Blasty: don’t pull anything like that again get some damned therapy and we’ll see how I feel about it later

Glowstick Bones: yeah that about sums it up

Mothman: yeah

Pichu: ^^^

Sharkboy: same but I think we can agree to be civil human beings in the meantime?

Smol Zuko: only as much as always

Discount Azula: yeah fair

Blasty: yeah fair

Pichu: holy shit that was at the exact same time

Blasty: I’m not even mad

Smol Zuko: and just for the new members of the chat:

Smol Zuko: Discount Azula is Touya, Birb is Hawks, Teacher Voice is Fuyumi, Bun Bun is Miruko, Animal Crossing is Natsuo, Minecraft is Tenko, I’m Shouto, Glowstick Bones is Izuku, Pichu is Denki, Mothman is Hitoshi, Blasty is Katsuki, and Sharkboy is Eijirou.

Glowstick Bones: how’s the apartment working out Tenko?

Minecraft: uh

Minecraft: weird but good. The sidekicks are scared of me but All Might is nice enough and Nighteye doesn’t seem scared at all but also isn't an ass

Minecraft: also I now have gloves to take care of my quirk so I don’t have to worry about dissolving a sandwich before I eat it which is nice

Pichu: oh shit how many times?

Minecraft: too many

Pichu: I def have caused too many blackouts in my neighborhood over the years lol. My parents were sure everyone had backup generators on our block when I was like five.

Minecraft: it’s definitely a bitch to deal with when you get comfortable and forget

Blasty: Deku’s started accidentally ripping doors off of hinges which is hilarious

Glowstick Bones: please don’t expose me

Blasty: I mean? The first time you did it you looked at the door, looked at me, and just kind of set it down again. Sero was so confused when he came to study with me the next day

Minecraft:

Minecraft: so we weren’t the only disasters in this huh

Sharkboy: absolutely not how dare you call us competent

Bun Bun: every group has like one or two competent friends to corral the rest

Bun Bun: the pro heroes mostly have Jeanist and Orca tbh

Pichu: ours is definitely Yaoyorozu, Tsu, and sometimes Katsuki

Blasty: why am I on the list?

Pichu: you hold the bakusquad braincell 85% of the time

Blasty: fair enough

Minecraft: it was Kurogiri and sometimes Compress, which is sad considering Kurogiri was, indeed, a noumu in addition to being my only competent and constant father figure

Mothman: oh that’s fucking weird we share a dad figure

Mothman: his non-brainwashed version was in a relationship with my dads before he died and I think they’re trying to get together again so like

Mothman: step-brothers? Sort of?

Smol Zuko: Do Not Think About It

Smol Zuko: because if you do, you’ll remember that All Might is also currently Tenko’s guardian, and Izuku’s soon-to-be adoptive father, and well

Mothman: ugh you’re right this is convoluted

Glowstick Bones: why would you say that Shou?

Glowstick Bones: literally like—this is worse than you thinking I was All Might’s secret love child

Smol Zuko: to be fair in context to me it made sense

2-Gay-2-Function

Pomeranian: confusingfamilytree.png

Polish Flag: shut your fuck

Almost Hentai: you

Almost Hentai: wow

Small Might: it’s not weird because no one is actually related or grew up together like siblings

Frogger: it’s not actually weird, but the fact that you have to defend it is funny

Violet Parr: also what the fuck group chat is that?

Polish Flag: my sibling group chat

Polish Flag: Touya had the brilliant idea to add everyone’s significant others, which includes two pro heroes, a high-class villain in the reform program, and us.

Heely Nightmare: A high class villain?

Polish Flag: Natsuo met him online, had no idea, figured it out, and convinced him to turn himself/the League in

Yaomom: wow

Flex Tape: who is it?

Polish Flag: who of the League looks most like his chat nickname would be Minecraft?

Jackie Chan Furry: no fucking way

Slep: believe me it was a shock when Shouto spilled the tea in the poly chat

Pomeranian: in other news, apparently the only competent one in the League was Kurogiri, who was brainwashed anyway, so we had at least one advantage of having fewer dumbasses on our side most of the time.

Bubblegum: good to know?

MCR: so like

MCR: we can focus on actual school now?

Slep: more than before but other villains are gonna fill the power vacuum and try their hand against us one way or another

Bubblegum: ugh

Space Cadet: still it’s nice we won’t have the LoV specifically. They’re kinda powerful to deal with together.

Flex Tape: anyone else want to kick Shiketsu ass at the Provisional License Exam? That one kid on twitter was being super arrogant and I just hnnn

Zapdos: oh mood

Zapdos: how the hell did you not pass @Pomeranian @Polish Flag ?

Pomeranian: my ability to be “personable” still needs work apparently

Polish Flag: I fought Yoarashi because he was being a little bitch

Violet Parr: holy shit wow did you two? Switch phones?

Pomeranian: I’m reading it again and no

Pomeranian: we really both just said those things

Polish Flag: apparently, according to Yoarashi:

Polish Flag: I’m not fired up enough as a hero? Like, I guess he thinks my heart isn’t in it? He also hates my dad though, which, mood. But he thought I was just like him, so obvi I wanted to shut that down

Violet Parr: holy shit does he not watch the fucking news?

Polish Flag: I guess not

Small Might: omg I did not hear him say that to you please let me fight him

Polish Flag: no, Izu, I’ll handle it. Besides, we’ll be stuck together in the remedial weekend courses to try and catch up to get our licenses at the next exam.

Polish Flag: I’ll set him straight

Pomeranian: I’ll fight him

Polish Flag: that’s really sweet, Kat, but I’ve got this

Teef: okay who made Katsuki blush and fall off the couch?

Teef: ah

Teef: carry on

Flex Tape: *softly, with feeling* gay

Polish Flag: very

Camie Utsushimi has created the chat “Remedial Bitches”

Camie Utsushimi has changed their name to "The Fae"

The Fae has added Yoarashi Inasa +2 to the chat!

The Fae has changed Yoarashi Inasa’s name to “Angry Aang”

The Fae has changed Bakugou Katsuki’s name to “McSplodes”

The Fae has changed Todoroki Shouto’s name to “Katy Perry”

The Fae: welcome to chili's :D

McSplodes: is this really necessary? We see each other in person every weekend

The Fae: but then you wouldn’t get to see all the memes I have

McSplodes: I do not need more memes in my life thanks. My boyfriend and his best friend are enough as it is

Angry Aang: I suppose this may be a bit excessive, Camie, but I’ll follow your lead!

The Fae: it’s networking, I promise uwu

Katy Perry: please no uwus

Katy Perry: one of my other chats spent an entire week with it and it was a nightmare

Katy Perry: never again

McSplodes: was it the Izucrew chat?

Katy Perry: Uraraka’s fault entirely

McSplodes: yeah

The Fae: do you mean

The Fae: uwuraka?

Katy Perry: I’m begging you please stop

Angry Aang: trust me it’s better to just let her keep going. She doesn’t have an off switch.

Katy Perry: ah so like my first boyfriend

The Fae: o shit are we all queer up in here?

McSplodes: never say it like that again

The Fae: :3

Katy Perry: I am indeed a gay if you must know

The Fae: Sweet!

McSplodes: and you, if you don’t care about sharing?

Angry Aang: *oversharing

The Fae: I’m a genderfluid lesbian hun she/they/he but it’s usually a she

Katy Perry: and today?

The Fae: thanks for asking I am she

Katy Perry: got it

McSplodes: trans gay he/him

McSplodes: I traded my assigned gender for rage

Katy Perry: I know this and I love you

McSplodes: asdfhk

Angry Aang: I am aro/ace.

Katy Perry: good to know

Angry Aang: And what does that mean?

Katy Perry: My class’s group chat got a bit much for our resident ace and I’m sometimes an oversharer according to my friends. I’ll be sure to be careful about that.

Angry Aang: I am used to it. You do not need to act differently on my account as if I can’t handle it.

Katy Perry: It’s not a can’t handle it thing

Katy Perry: It’s an “I want to be a decent human being that respects boundaries” thing

McSplodes: oh I also promised my boyfriend I’d fight you Yoarashi so be prepared to catch hands

The Fae: Oh?? Tea??

Angry Aang: Why would you promise to fight me for your boyfriend?

McSplodes: Because you told him he acted like his asshole dad and that is literally the opposite of the case

The Fae: you two?! Boyfs??? OMG

Katy Perry: in addition to gay, we are also poly and have other boyfriends, but yes, he is indeed my boyfriend

Angry Aang: I only spoke of what I saw. They were both cold and arrogant when I met them and showed no vigor for being a hero. It’s disappointing.

McSplodes: you’re making me want to punch you more with each word wind bastard

McSplodes: look up “endeavor trial” on google before you fucking judge shou’s attitude.

The Fae: endeavor trial? I knew he dropped in rankings really quickly but he was charged with smth?

The Fae: I just looked it up hoooooly shiiiiiit

The Fae: that is

Katy Perry: Yup.

Angry Aang: I must apologize.

Angry Aang: I should not assume from a single introduction the whole of a person.

The Fae: yeah that’s kind of a preschool skill they teach hun

Katy Perry: Forgiven as long as you don’t do it again.

Angry Aang: Never.

The Fae: that was heavy as hell

The Fae: prepare for meme spam

McSplodes: oh god

The Fae: y’allmight’vethought.png

The Fae: jeanistgiraffe.png

The Fae: y’allmight’vegottenawaywithittoo.png

The Fae: fuckhandsmcmike.png

McSplodes: please stop for the love of god

The Fae: I’veMetGodHeHadNothingNiceToSayAboutYou.gif

Chapter Text

This Family is a Nightmare

Purple Son: SushiAndOboroReunion.mp4

Scream Dad: immortalized for all time, actual proof that Oboro is sunshine

Dadgiri: saved

Sleep Dad: saved

Purple Son: my work here is done

Remedial Bitches

The Fae: Y’all Might’ve memes make my fuckin day

Angry Aang: They’re delightful it’s true

McSplode: One of our boyfriends is the one that initiated the meme

The Fae: I’m-

The Fae: Hello God? I can die happy if I could just meet the creator of Y’all Might’ve

Katy Perry: According to my brother, who’s in the pros gc, All Might’s chat name is “Y’all Might’ve” so

The Fae:

The Fae: I

Angry Aang: please stop breaking my friend

McSplode: no, continue, it’s hilarious

2-Gay-2-Function

Pomeranian: the remedial class chat is wild

Pomeranian: Ibrokeillusiongirl.png

Bubblegum: Omg the shiketsu girl with the glamour quirk???

Pomeranian: yeah

Bubblegum: could you send me her number it sounds like we’d vibe

Pomeranian: I really really shouldn’t

Bubblegum: Why?!

Pomeranian: precisely because you asked, pink

Bubblegum: >:(

Pomeranian: I stg

Pomeranian: fine

Bubblegum: :D

Violet Parr: Oh? Tea?

Small Might: you could definitely send her my tumblr if you don’t think it’ll be weird. I post new memes every once in a while

Pomeranian: @Polish Flag do not

Remedial Bitches

Katy Perry: Hey @The Fae

Katy Perry: our friend Mina saw a screenshot of this gc and wanted to have your number and our boyfriend who makes the Y’all Might’ve memes is Hero Menagerie on tumblr

The Fae: omg is it the pink alien girl or the frog girl?? They were the only two I talked to at the exam

Katy Perry: Mina’s the pink one

The Fae: !

2-Gay-2-Function

Polish Flag: it is done

Pomeranian: gdi sho

Small Might: you can’t see it but Shouto’s blushing hard because you called him sho

Pomeranian: I am going to use this

Polish Flag: Are you? Are you really?

Pomeranian: I’ll figure out a way

Five Dumbasses of the Apocalypse

Memes: panic.png [a screenshot of a conversation between Tensei and Tenya, where Tenya is panicking about a crush on an unknown individual]

YEET: ooh who is it?

Memes: he refuses to tell me because he doesn’t want them harassed

The Mighty Fam

Y’all: I’m going to add my fiancé and to-be-son to the chat

Tarot: you don’t have to add the “to-be”

Tarot: he’s already basically your kid

Y’all: ok ok

Zoom: Do it toshi

Y’all has added Inko and Izuku to the chat!

Inko has changed their name to “Midomom”

Izuku has changed their name to “Green Bean”

Green Bean: Hi everyone!

Midomom: Hi Sasaki-san, Torino-san!

Tarot: please, Mirai, Midoriya-san

Midomom: Inko, please!

Zoom: And just Torino.

Midomom: All right! Admittedly, I’ll be turning this chat into a bit of a wedding-planning thing over the next few months. I see my maid of honor in person a lot, so it’s easier to update her then. We’ll be doing the ceremony at a lovely garden in Kyoto, and then the reception will be at a resort nearby. It’s mostly Western-style, and I suppose it’s probably relatively small for a famous person’s wedding, but we definitely want to be sure the paparazzi butt out.

Tarot: I’ll be sure to talk to some security firms I’ve worked with before.

Midomom: That sounds excellent! I don’t doubt something will happen, but hopefully we’ll be able to end/fix/mitigate problems.

Midomom: how many groomsmen do you plan on having, Toshi?

Y’all: I’m not sure! Mirai will be my best man, of course, and I plan on Izuku being the ringbearer since we both can’t have him as a groomsman. Gran will act as father of the groom in this scenario. I will definitely have David as a groomsman, but I’m unsure of any others!

Midomom: that’s perfectly fine! I was planning on having Mitsuki as my maid of honor and haven’t really found any other people to choose for another bridesmaid. I was hoping for blue hyacinths, honeysuckle, and chamomile for flowers! I know it’s a bit unconventional, but still.

Tarot: Meaning constancy, bonds of love, and patience in adversity

Tarot: very appropriate

Midomom: you know flower meanings?

Tarot: It’s a side hobby. Would you like your bouquet pressed and/or dried for preservation? I’ve seen some done where parts are kept in jewelry.

Midomom: Ooh, that sounds lovely; I’ll look into it!

Midomom: Could you all come with Toshi and me to go wedding outfit shopping?

Green Bean: Of course!

Tarot: Would this weekend be acceptable? I will arrange for Centipeder to run the agency.

Zoom: I can do that.

Green Bean: Sounds good!

Midomom: I’ll get Mitsuki and a few others to come along for wedding dress shopping while you gentlemen take care of suits, and then we can get together for lunch and go do a cake testing?

Zoom: Probably do ring shopping in the morning, then lunch, then cake, then the clothes shopping so there’s more time.

Midomom: Lovely; I’ll text everyone locations/times!

Green Bean: actually, question:

Green Bean: traditionally, weddings include a “plus one” but I kind of have a “plus five”

Green Bean: So should I pick one or??

Midomom: well—

Midomom: I don’t see why you can’t invite them all? You could pair up for coordinating outfits/actually fitting walking up the aisle I suppose?

Green Bean: wouldn’t I be walking by myself as the ring bearer? I know it’s usually a younger kid’s job though so

Midomom: To be fair, usually it’s a younger couple, sweetheart! Although, that does bring up a good point—do we have a flower girl?

Green Bean: Eri

Tarot: Eri

Midomom: Ah, the little girl you saved? If she’s willing, that’d be lovely!

Tarot: We could ask her after shopping Saturday.

Midomom: Perfect!

Midomom: And I do think, if you’re okay with it Toshi and Izu, we could have Izuku’s partners as people of honor on both sides?

Green Bean: omg yes

Green Bean: Kacchan would die

Y’all: I’m certainly willing to do that! Three on your side, two on mine, to be even—and Izuku in the middle?

Midomom: That sounds fine if it’s all right with everyone else!

Green Bean: can I text a screenshot of this to them?

Midomom: one moment—Who should be on what side?

Green Bean: aaah I don’t know?

Green Bean: Kacchan loves you mom but being a bride’s man alongside his mom would probably be weird. So Eijirou and Kacchan could be with you, dad?

Y’all: That sounds like it would work well! And then Todoroki, Shinsou, and Kaminari would be alongside Inko.

Midomom: ok go ahead Izuku I’m sure you’re vibrating with excitement

Six Gays in a Room Bitching

Mint Chip: @all

Mint Chip: HNNNNNG

Mint Chip: weddingplan.png

Blueberry Swirl: omfg why did Kami just short circuit?

Blueberry Swirl: oh

Mexican Chocolate: I

Mexican Chocolate: what

Mexican Chocolate: the fuck

Rocky Road: I’m w h e e z i n g rn

Rocky Road: you killed me Izu

Butter Pecan: okay okay okay

Strawberry Shortcake: Izuku

Strawberry Shortcake: does this mean we’re all coming shopping on Saturday?

Mexican Chocolate: my dad is so going to demand to take over with that stuff you know it

Mint Chip: fair and true but let her have this

Mint Chip: plus it gives her a leaping off point of what she wants

2-Gay-2-Function

Gordon Ramsay: excuse me but

Gordon Ramsay: holy mcfuck what was that in training mido?!?!

Gordon Ramsay: literally like, was I tripping or something?

Small Might: so APPARENTLY

Small Might: in addition to stockpiling regular old strength and passing it on, One for All passes on the quirks of previous users and makes them stronger with use too. I’m the ninth user. So there’s that.

Yaomom: okay, what’s that quirk called then?

Small Might: Blackwhip, I think. I’m going to ask All Might about the other users/if he knows their quirks, because if this happens again I’d really like to know what to expect

Yaomom: So . . . to summarize, you have the actual power stockpile quirk plus six previous users’ quirks?

Small Might: yup

Gordon Ramsay: daaaang

Small Might: YUP

Small Might: so now I know about Blackwhip, and I know Shimura Nana’s quirk was Float—if I ever activate it—plus whatever other surprises await.

Small Might: I wish this quirk came with a manual

Almost Hentai: maybe you should make one for a future successor? Like a separate one of your notebooks?

Small Might:

Small Might: huh

Small Might: I never thought about that. Sounds like a good plan, though

Zapdos: okay but now to quote my bro Sero:

Zapdos: you have to yeet me

Zapdos: imagine it

Flex Tape: you do not need more brain damage

Endeavor Sucks

Minecraft: reason living with All Might is weird number 17:

Minecraft: He really likes pizza rolls. Like, not just likes them, but legit buys a big box of them once a week and makes them in large batches to snack on all day

Minecraft: oh shit this isn’t the League chat

Smol Zuko: alhfsa

Smol Zuko: as Izuku has fully admitted: All Might is kind of a disaster, especially during regular human activity instead of hero work/public life.

Minecraft: seriously? I thought he’d be a bit more starstruck about him still

Smol Zuko: oh don’t worry he’s definitely still a huge hero otaku and All Might’s still his favorite, but considering they’re going to be family soon? Yeah no he is Fully Aware of the fact that Yagi-sensei is just as much of a disaster as him

Minecraft: huh

Minecraft: that’s actually pretty good to know

This Family is a Nightmare

Purple Son: so I just got a text from Mido

Purple Son: his mom and All Might want Eri to be the flower girl at their wedding; thoughts?

Sleep Dad: if she wants to do it then definitely

Scream Dad: I will die of cute

Dadgiri: I’ve only known Eri for a little while but if anything happened to her I would warp everyone including myself into the sun

Purple Son: could you actually do that?

Dadgiri: probably not

Dadgiri: my range is good but not that good

Sleep Dad: Anyway, up to her

Scream Dad: yeah

Remedial Bitches

The Fae: Gang Orca is WAY too much

The Fae: I mean I love him that way but still

McSplodes: yeah when he’d visit Jeanist’s office while I interned there he Did Not do the whole aggressive schtick

McSplodes: probably just trying to be strict/motivate us into doing the shit we’re supposed to

Katy Perry: wouldn’t put it past him

Katy Perry: I think those kids are gonna be the death of me though

Angry Aang: they were definitely overwhelming

The Fae: aw come on they weren’t that bad?

McSplodes: I’m the only one allowed to do explosions around here. No gun-tongued brats allowed.

Katy Perry: he totally imprinted on you tho

McSplodes: SHUT

The Fae: anyway I was doing my thing scrolling and trolling on twitter and

The Fae: All Might is going to get married??? Soon??? Like no one knows who to or anything but you guys live at school with him so tea?

McSplodes: we’re in the wedding party I think we’d know

The Fae: haha no seriously

Katy Perry: also it would technically make All Might a father-in-law to us so like? I’m all for this?

McSplodes: I did not think of that

McSplodes: holy fuck

McSplodes: well now someone has to marry him just so they can say it

Katy Perry: we can worry about that when we’re older

McSplodes: yeah fair

The Fae: are you saying your boyfriend’s mom is the bride to be???????

The Fae: which one??

McSplodes: broccoli head

The Fae: that pure fluffy bean?

Katy Perry: the bean can bench press probably our whole class at once

The Fae: yeah well my girlfriend is an alien so TAKE THAT

Katy Perry: you’re dating Mina now?

Angry Aang: I didn’t realize—congratulations, Camie!

The Fae: it’s new but she’s so hecking cute and fun

McSplodes: break her and I break you, got it meme queen?

The Fae: *gasp* I got a Bakugou approved nickname? Mina said this was a sacred thing to be upheld

McSplodes: the fuck

Katy Perry: well at least it isn’t half-n-half or Icyhot

The Fae: to be fair you’re easier fodder for something ridiculous because you’re not a basic bitch like me

Who let us graduate UA

sanic: so Tenya sent me a long rambling text about a crush and I’m trying to figure out who it is

sanic: shouta and the rest were no help so I come to you two, who are younger and probably know more gossip than me

Calcifer: it’s gonna be a resounding no from me

Birb: yeah no clue

Birb: unless you want me to start asking Tokoyami, which I doubt you want

sanic: no one needs to confuse the poor goth rn

sanic: though I wish my two former sidekicks would be more helpful to their senpai

Birb: I mean what is Tenya even interested in? What’s his type?

sanic: that’s what I’m trying to figure out! He’s never openly crushed on someone before and I need answers!

Calcifer: iida with all my heart: go the fuck to sleep and ask Tenya in the morning. The real morning, not five minutes from now morning.

Tensei>>>>>Tenya

Tensei: so who is it that won my little brother’s heart, anyway?

Tenya: I am not discussing this with you, Tensei

Tensei: aw why not?

Tenya: because, inevitably, you will try to meddle. You’ll make us partners for a project, or crack jokes, or some other nonsense, which I am begging you not to do

Tensei: look you were nice about not doing that when I started dating Cece. And I super appreciate that. I don’t think I’ll be able to hold back entirely, but I will try.

Tenya: you’d think, as the older brother, you’d be the more responsible one

Tensei: I’m not? Lies and slander!

Tenya: T E N S E I

Tensei: fine, fine—I won’t bother you about it!

Tenya: It’s Sero

Tensei:

Tensei: huh

Tensei: I would not have pictured him for you but to each their own I suppose?

Tenya: he’s just very passionate but also poised and skilled

Tenya: and a really good listener because I was having a bad day and we weren’t even close and he just? Let me rant?

Tensei: wow sounds like you got it bad little bro

Tenya: cease and desist fml

Tensei: :D

League of Assholes

Gang Orca Stan: my god

Gang Orca Stan: so Orca’s like? A secret softy?

Gang Orca Stan: like he has to be in charge of kids for a hot minute and acts all stern to their faces but the second he turns away he mutters to me “they’re so small oh my god”

Gang Orca Stan: and he’s not even talking about the elementary school students oh no

Gang Orca Stan: he’s talking about the high school provisional license kids

Bluedabadi: to be fair my little brother is one of those students and is indeed very small

KFC: he’s not even that short Touya

Bluedabadi: yes but still

Gang Orca Stan: wait wait that was your little brother Shouto? Do you think he’d be weirded out if I said hi?

Bluedabadi: I mean probably but more so his Pomeranian boyfriend

Gang Orca Stan: tru

Gang Orca Stan: oh @Yandere how’s your sponsorship going btw? We haven't talked in a hot minute

Yandere: could be better, could be worse

Yandere: like, Jeanist is chill and thoughtful and doesn’t get intimidated by me, but some of his agency members are still super jumpy

Jazz Hands: I finally got an itinerary on potential “if I’m on good behavior this is how your sentencing works” stuff, and that means I can have personal visitors at the apartment in a week. I think All Might meeting my boyfriend in person will be awkward, but I can’t decide whether that’ll kill me or All Might first

Mag: dang and just when you stopped trying huh?

Jazz Hands: ikr

Jazz Hands: but at least I’ll get to hang out with Natsuo in person without extra guards around

Izuku Protection Squad

Iidad: help

Broccoli: What’s wrong?!?!

You’ll Float Too: omg what?

Tsu: Whatever you need Iida

Zuko: you know we’re here for you what do you need?

Iidad: I have

Iidad: a crush

Broccoli: !!!!!!!!!!!!

Zuko: on who?

You’ll Float Too: OMG

Tsu: Would you like help confessing or are you unsure of their own feelings?

Iidad: ah both? It’s Sero

Iidad: I’ve never really had a crush before and pretty much thought I was likely aro up until this past month, and I have no idea how to navigate this

Broccoli: Can we come up to your room in person to talk about it?

Iidad: I’d

Iidad: I’d like that very much

Tenya>>>>>Tensei

Tenya: I’m going to talk to him tomorrow and see if he’d be willing to go on a date

Tensei: rooting for you!

Iida>>>>>Sero

Iida: Hi Sero! I was wondering if we could speak for a minute?

Sero: sure, man! I just need to finish the reading for history. Meet at my room or yours?

Iida: Either works for me

Sero: I’ll come over then! My mom sent a care package of snacks the other day and I think you’d like one of the ones she sent!

Izuku Protection Squad

Iidad: I DID IT

Iidad: I

Iidad: He said yes to a date! He was really surprised but willing to try!

Broccoli: aah congrats!!

Kirishima Protection Squad

Bondage: Okay okay okay

Bondage: I might have a boyfriend now? Maybe? I have a date Saturday?

Powderpuff: EXCUSE ME

Charger: duuude

Sharkboi: BRO TELL US THE DETAILS I’M LIKE VIBRATING WITH ANTICIPATION HERE

Bondage: Okay I’m muting everyone so you can read it all without interruptions yeah

Bondage has muted Powderpuff, Bomberanian, Charger, and Sharkboi

Bondage: So here I am, reading a letter from my mom since she’s visiting the fam over in Mexico when I get a text from Iida

Bondage: “Hi Sero! I was wondering if we could speak for a minute?”

Bondage: and let me tell you I thought it was going to be a class thing or smt, so I grab the snacks I got from mom and head on over

Bondage: And he’s really fidgety and nervous and blushy? And I’m like, really confused

Bondage: So he tells me he’s kind of developed a crush on me and that he really admires me and was wondering if I’d like to go on a date with him this weekend

Bondage: I was super flattered and surprised and definitely spluttered for a bit

Bondage: but I was like “Me? You like me?” And he went on to say he thought he was aro for a while but apparently just has very particular romantic tastes and went on to say even if I’m not interested he just thought I should know and all these things about why he likes me and started muttering like Mido

Bondage: so I put a hand up and I was like calm down, easy, this is A Lot and I can’t say I’ve thought of dating anyone in class with a large amount of thought but like, sure? I’d like to try a date and see because he’s really cool and interesting and great, too

Bondage: so yeah I’m going out with Iida this weekend and we might end up boyfriends

Bondage has unmuted everyone!

Bomberanian: I can hear Mina screaming from her room ffs

Charger: how do you feel about it my dude?!

Bondage: I mean

Bondage: I’m still reeling a little bc I didn’t think anyone? Thought of me like that? Much less someone who thought otherwise they were aro, which is like—kind of insane rn and if you saw my face right now it would match kiri’s hair

Bondage: because he’s also super cute and now that I’m seriously considering it? I think I could really like him?

Powderpuff: yiss go get your mans Sero

Charger: What do you mean no one thought of you like that?? I high key?? Flirted with you like the first three weeks of school??

Bondage: YOU WERE SERIOUS

Charger: Yes??????

Bondage: but you were def flirting with like five people?

Charger: I had multiple crushes, Hanta! This class is hot! And also really nice and brave and I literally figured, hey, cast a wide net and something might click

Bondage: I apparently can’t detect flirting for shit?

Bomberanian: definitely not

Bomberanian: Pichu here was yammering about you bench pressing him TO YOUR ACTUAL FUCKING FACE

Sharkboi: It was very much disaster pan flirting, not bro compliments at all

Bondage: I feel called out

Charger: I feel called out

Charger: lol

Charger: but go for it with Iida, srsly. I had no idea he liked anyone so you bet he’s gonna try his best to give you a great date

Bondage: oh geez

Bondage: I’m definitely going to get wooed like some kind of fairy tale aren’t I? He seems like the type?

Charger: ya he probably has everything planned out to an itinerary and everything

Izuku Protection Squad

Iidad: I DIDN’T THINK I’D GET THIS FAR

Iidad: WHERE DO I TAKE HIM???

Broccoli: I have a list of date ideas I’ll help

You’ll Float Too: A list?

Broccoli: I have four boyfriends Ocha

Broccoli: plus Denki as an important member of the group, so like I always try to be prepared with new ideas

Iidad: This won’t infringe on anything with you?

Broccoli: oh definitely not

Broccoli: we’ve got two major group dates in the near future so I don’t need the list rn

Iidad: I could definitely use some advice thank you so much

Broccoli: I’ve got you! No worries!

Chapter Text

2-GAY-2-Function

Bubblegum: @Small Might how does it feel to be getting ready for your mom’s wedding?

Small Might: hnnn

Small Might: Stressful

Bubblegum: also I have questions @Heely Nightmare

Heely Nightmare: Of course! How can I help, Mina?

Bubblegum: oh it’s not school related sir

Bubblegum: DM me

Iida>>>>>Ashido

Iida: What’s going on?

Ashido: you and Sero apparently!!!!

Iida: ah

Iida: well

Iida: what do you want to know?

Ashido: Sero’s panicking in his room about what to wear on your date Saturday but is too busy panicking to realize he can just ask you where you’re going

Iida: Oh!

Ashido: also I’m a gossip magpie so

Ashido: any tea on exactly how this happened?!

Iida: ffs I should have figured

Iida: Look I can’t help it! He’s really cool calm and collected, he’s really strong and brave, and like I know he can be kind of chaotic when Kaminari’s involved, but hey, I can’t exactly throw stones in that area being friends with Midoriya

Iida: idek how it came about anyway

Ashido: no that’s fine! Feelings don’t always make sense lol

Iida: we’re going to the aquarium! A jellyfish exhibit just opened last week

Ashido: so cute

Ashido: okay so casual but nice?

Iida: As long as he’s comfortable!

Ashido: Thanks!

Uraraka>>>>>Ashido

Uraraka: why is my speedy boi blushing what did you do

Ashido: oh I just told him that Sero’s freaking out about what to wear and how cute his date location is

Uraraka: ah carry on then lol

Remedial Bitches

Angry Aang: it was an honor to study along fellow heroes! I learned very much from working with you all!

The Fae: aw it’s like you think you can escape us just because we got our licenses

The Fae: sweetie

The Fae: you’re all stuck with me OwO

McSplodes: gdi

The Fae: you’d be stuck with me anyway blasty; I’m Mina’s gf remember?

McSplodes: you seem to think I care about her love life a lot more than I do

Katy Perry: rip in pieces Cami

The Mighty Fam

Midomom: I adored the raspberry-chocolate-cream-cheese combination for the cake but don’t think I want that bakery to do it

Y’all: did they say something while I was in the bathroom? Are you all right?

Midomom: oh nothing bad, it’s just—they themed the cupcakes after your silver age outfit

Y’all: they did?!

Midomom: when I specifically asked for plain complimentary-flavored frosting. I know they meant well, but—

Y’all: yes they were a bit overeager to do “All Might’s wedding” I suppose.

Midomom: precisely!

Green Bean: I know Satou’s parents work with a few different bakeries in the area; I could ask him for recommendations?

Tarot: That’s probably a better idea than having hero connections go in on it; they’ll be more personal than the ones that do promotional stuff regularly

Midomom: and I did get a dress today, so I count that as a win

Midomom: I even got to chat with the seamstress, and she’s very willing to help dye and alter it afterwards so that I can wear it again for special occasions!

Y’all: and we all have our suits picked out and ready as well, so at least we have outfits lined up, and we know what we want for the cake!

Midoriya>>>>>Satou

Midoriya: Hey Satou! I was just chatting with my mom about wedding stuff and I was wondering do you have recommendations to get a wedding cake at? I feel like you’d know who does what best at least?

Satou: whoa yeah! I totally got it—is it going to be kind of classic or more modern/unique?

Midoriya: pretty classic; she likes white/gold/floral/pearls as the kind of color and detail looks? Idk I just scrolled through the pinterest board she showed me for ideas. It’s gonna be chocolate/raspberry/cream cheese I think?

Satou: Gotcha let me think a sec

Satou: so either the Sweet Dreams shop in Hosu or my cousin Maka’s shop, Make Bake, would probably be your best bets

Midoriya: Thanks! I’ll check them out

Satou: just be warned: Her girlfriend Haruhi is the head baker and her chocolate cake is like ridiculously fudgy

Midoriya: you say that like it’s a bad thing

Satou: (￣ω￣)

2-Gay-2-Function

Small Might: This is a Satou callout post @Gordon Ramsay

Small Might: I ate your cousin’s cake and it’s like chocolate flavored drugs

Gordon Ramsay: I warned you lol

Small Might: not well enough!

Gordon Ramsay: It’s literally not my fault you didn’t believe me

Small Might: sus

MCR: we do not bring the accursed game into the chat

Almost Hentai: you’re just mad you lost all your imposter rounds

MCR: s h u t

Six Gays in a Room Bitching

Butter Pecan: GAYS CONFESSION TIME

Rocky Road: what’s up Denki?? We were waiting for you to come up and try on your cosplay for herocon

Butter Pecan: I’ll do that once the crisis is over

Mint Chip: Crisis? Are you okay?!

Butter Pecan: so I told Shinsou on our last date and uhhhh

Butter Pecan: guess my sexuality is as fluid as my gender because I am hardcore wanting to date the rest of you???

Mexican Chocolate: huh? No shit?

Butter Pecan: I am serious kat

Blueberry Swirl: it was really adorable when they were gushing in my room the other day

Blueberry Swirl: “and they’re all so nice and cute and hot who gave them the right?”

Blueberry Swirl: “I know I’m a strong independent enby who don’t need no mans but damn I want them mans”

Blueberry Swirl: “toshiiiii why is shouto so pretty and awkward and cute”

Butter Pecan: staaaaahp

Mexican Chocolate: no, let him speak

Strawberry Shortcake: are you sure, Denki?

Butter Pecan: yeah I guess being poly either wasn’t on my radar or I just didn’t feel like the label fit? But being a part of the relationship the way I have has made me rethink things. And no it’s not a “I think I’m the sixth wheel” sorta thing I just really like you all

Butter Pecan: but also like if it turns out I’m very wrong and mixing up feelings can we go back if so to me being the non-poly one?

Mint Chip: of course! We’ve all been very good together so far I think and I’d like to try if you would!

Blueberry Swirl: I’m game; we were dating already and now I get to see all my datemates date each other

Strawberry Shortcake: I’m definitely willing to try; you’re very cute and funny and kind, Denki

Butter Pecan: vikjqyowr

Mexican Chocolate: don’t make our datemate short circuit in the first five minutes of us dating them, shouto

Rocky Road: I’m so excited!!! This sounds like so much fun and I can’t wait to take you out on a date Denks!!!!

Butter Pecan: I

Butter Pecan: I am feeling fuzzy emotions I need cuddles

Several people are typing . . .

Sero>>>>>Tenya

Sero: I had a really good time omg

Sero: I’ll really have to think of something special for our second date!

Tenya: I look forward to it!

Tenya: I

Tenya: Would you consider us boyfriends after one date, or just “dating”

Sero: well, considering I plan on us dating for some time, boyfriends?

Tenya: ah

Tenya: that makes me very happy!

Tenya: I should be upfront with you in any case:

Tenya: I’m asexual, though not quite as averse as Tokoyami. I am okay with touch and such, but certain levels of intimacy aren’t really enjoyable for me.

Sero: omg thank you for trusting me with this! And what are your boundaries? I don't want to make you uncomfortable

Tenya: for now, let’s stick with handholding, hugs, and maybe cheek kisses? It’s still new for me to be sure of where the actual boundaries lie even though I'm pretty sure about not wanting the extremes

Sero: of course of course. Is cuddling on the table?

Tenya: definitely. I think Uraraka and Izuku have made me immune to any apprehension about that lol

Sero: what does that mean?

Tenya: the “izucrew” does cuddle sessions for comfort a lot

Sero: aaaah

Sero: I imagine those two are octopi when it comes to that?

Tenya: surprisingly, they just kind of drape themselves across anyone like human weighted blankets

Tenya: it’s Shouto that’s a limpet

Sero: I’m surprised but not?

Tenya: ha fair

Tenya: You give really good hugs so I look forward to it with you

Sero: !!!

Sero: So do I!!!

Sero: ⊂（♡⌂♡）⊃

Tenya: (⺣◡⺣)♡*

2-Gay-2-Function

Violet Parr: I have the urge to cause problems on purpose

Zapdos: fear

Violet Parr: no but seriously does anyone want to do something with me? I’m bored as hell

Space Cadet: We could do hide-and-seek!

Violet Parr: uh

Space Cadet: no, seriously—I saw this one video where these friends had “it” blindfolded and armed with a nerf gun. You might know your way around the dorms, but you also don’t necessarily know it blind

Violet Parr: ooh I actually really like this now! Even playing field!

Teef: but who’s the seeker?

Bubblegum: I’ll roll a d20 and see who’s seat number has it

Almost Hentai: you own a physical 20-sided die?

Bubblegum: you fool I am indeed a nerd

Bubblegum: just not the academic kind

Almost Hentai: understandable have a nice day

Bubblegum: it’s Uraraka! Good thing, too, since you’ve seen it done this way lol

Space Cadet: ooh dope

Space Cadet: so rules: stay inside the building (this includes keeping balconies and the roof off limits), once you get caught you either follow me around to film it for posterity or you go to a safe zone where no one is allowed to hide. I vote the roof for that—we can drag up some futons. Also off limits are any bedrooms whose doors are already closed—leave your room open if you want to offer it to hide in.

Space Cadet: once you pick a hiding spot once I’m running around looking you can’t move spots. Ten minutes to find a spot while I sit on the roof and wait.

Space Cadet: @all who’s in?

Bubblegum has changed the chat name to “Ultimate Hide and Seek”

Bubblegum: since Ura can’t check her phone while she’s seeking who’s where?

Bubblegum: tag yourself I’m under the big couch in the common room laying flat like a vampire in a coffin

Slep: I’m standing on the counter behind the kitchen sink staring at Ojirou who’s curled up on the fridge

Jackie Chan Furry: I’m going to take a nap on top of the fridge

Actual Sunshine: ┬┴┬┴┤(･_├┬┴┬┴

Zapdos: I’m in the cabinet under the bathroom sink on our floor

Small Might: I’m on the stairwell railing, like outside away from the actual steps in between the second and third floors

Slep: so you want to break your bones

Small Might: no!

Teef: I’m behind the potted plant by the main entrance

MCR: She caught me

MCR: I was under that bench in between the stairwell and Kaminari’s room

Yaomom: I’m sitting on an armchair curled up so she’d actually have to get up close to notice

Zapdos: rip Tokoyami

MCR: she has become one with the darkness to defeat me

Flex Tape: I am stuck to the ceiling fan

SPARKLE: I am next to Jirou’s dresser, standing behind her amp that’s tucked in the corner

Jacked Up: shit I hadn’t thought of that??

Jacked Up: I’m on top of the couch that Mina’s laying under

Jacked Up: if she finds one of us she probably won’t find the other

Heely Nightmare: I’m behind the open door of Sero’s room

Flex Tape: aw babe

Gordon Ramsay: fucc

Gordon Ramsay: she got me; I was in the middle of the entrance room because I figured she’d be feeling along the walls

Frogger: I’m stuck to the wall above the TV

Almost Hentai: Same hat @Small Might but between the first and second floor and actually on the stairwell because I don’t want to fall when she shoots me

Small Might: you fool she needs the handrail to go up and down

Almost Hentai: shit

Polish Flag: please don’t laugh

Slep: oh no it’s actually kind of genius lol

Polish Flag: I’m inside one of the dryers in the laundry room

Small Might: omg sho

Violet Parr: I’m across from Kouda in the basement between storage shelves!

Small Might: @Pomeranian why you lurkin

Pomeranian: no one will ever find me even if you could see

Small Might: oh shit

Small Might: you won’t tell us? We aren’t even seekers

Teef: SHIT she got me!

Teef: also I haven’t seen you since before the timer started so like

Teef: where are you bakubabe?

Pomeranian: Not Telling

Almost Hentai: I was caught, as expected

Bubblegum: okay it’s down to: Me, Mido, Todo, Baku, and Sero

Bubblegum: We’ll close some doors so she doesn’t repeat checking bedrooms. Where you at @Pomeranian

Pomeranian: ugh fuck fine

Pomeranian: I’m buried in a pile of plushes in Deku’s room

Bubblegum: I am so taking a pic

Bubblegum: groundzeroplushmerch.jpg look at his fluffy little head amid the toys

Small Might: omg

Small Might: ah shit she got me

Small Might: and no I did not break my bones or fall, thank you very much!

Pomeranian: pink I will kill you

Bubblegum: promises, only promises

Flex Tape: agh whaeiodfnljn

Flex Tape: so I might have broken a bone

Heely Nightmare: dammit Hanta

Heely Nightmare: I’ll take you to Recovery Girl’s office immediately. We’ll keep updated on the game in the gc

Class Reps and Teachers (Don’t Know What They’re Doing Either)

The Sensible One: @Insomniac

The Sensible One: one of your children broke an arm during hide and seek

The Sensible One: it wasn’t Midoriya

Insomniac: seriously?

1ida: We’re coming towards the end of the game, and no one else is in a precarious hiding spot. Everyone is in the dorm building and I have a list of the hiding spots if you are concerned.

1ida: ah we are down to Mina (under a couch), Todoroki (in a dryer) and Bakugou (in a pile of plushies) so there’s minimal chance for them to have anything happen

Insomniac: well it isn’t a school night so I’ll allow it. Who’s the seeker?

1ida: Uraraka! She had the idea for the game.

Insomniac: @Scree

Insomniac: You told me to go sleep. Either I do that and you deal with the children or I deal with the children and don’t do that.

Scree: Go to sleep, Sho. Oboro and Sushi could use some company.

Multiplication Man: 300 on Todoroki

Bible Discussion & Study Meeting: you’re on Mina’s got this

Snipp: excuse you no one would expect Bakugou in a pile of plushies he’s too prickly

Bible Discussion & Study Meeting: and that’s why she’ll find him; she’ll feel along the stuffed animals and notice the spikes

Ultimate Hide and Seek

Heely Nightmare: the teachers know, Sero’s recovering, and we’re allowed to finish.

Heely Nightmare: also the teachers are making bets on who will win. Right now it’s three on Mina, four on Bakugou, and six on Todoroki

Pomeranian: EXCUSE ME WHAT

Heely Nightmare: I neglected to tell them that Uraraka has been to the room you’re in twice without noticing you

Heely Nightmare: I’ll be staying with Sero overnight while he sleeps off Recovery Girl’s quirk. @Yaomom, could you stay in charge tonight after the game?

Yaomom: absolutely

Polish Flag: FUCK YOU URA OMG

Polish Flag: I was found

Heely Nightmare: clearly

Bubblegum: now it’s just you and me bakuhoe

Bubblegum: think Uraraka will notice your spiky ass head in between Izuku’s plushies?

Small Might: oh

Small Might: oh no, his hair is super soft

Zapdos: wait what?!

Small Might: oh right you haven’t gotten to cuddle with him for movie night yet

Polish Flag: his hair is as fluffy as Nutmeg’s

Zapdos: holy shit

Pomeranian: if any one of you fucks touches my hair without my permission I stg

Bubblegum: GDI Todoroki!!! I was laughing so hard when she came in the room!

Small Might: now we start closing off rooms that she’s already checked that he’s not in

Pomeranian: good luck with that

Space Cadet: hey bakubitch

Pomeranian: blocked and reported

Space Cadet: fluffy little explody boi

Pomeranian: do you want to go?

Space Cadet: MAYBE

Pomeranian: meet me in the pit

Frogger: I’m assuming I can’t talk you out of this?

Space Cadet: hell no

Zapdos: I won’t even bother asking kat

Pomeranian: guess you do have the squad brain cell once in a while

Chapter Text

Six Gays in a Room Bitching

Mint Chip: hero con hero con hero con

Mexican Chocolate: who’s going to send pics to a member of the League chat so they can see our cosplays? Because I want Compress to weep

Blueberry Swirl: I got it babe

Blueberry Swirl: Oboro’s a major troll he’ll love this

Rocky Road: I mean we could just put it in the todofam chat?

Strawberry Shortcake: Absolutely Not

Strawberry Shortcake: Natsuo would harass me about it forever and I don’t need that

Butter Pecan: so I’m actually living for the vampire sailor moon look can I wear skirts like every day

Mint Chip: I mean yes? U.A. uniforms do in fact have a skirt option

Butter Pecan: head empty only phone charger

Mexican Chocolate: doing the eyeliner for this is absolutely insane

Rocky Road: uh

Rocky Road: doesn’t Compress wear a mask?

Mexican Chocolate: bold of you to assume I’m not painting the goddamn mask into a makeup look right the fuck now

Rocky Road: and here I thought the jumpsuit for Twice was a struggle wow

Strawberry Shortcake: the first time I’m painting more scars on my face like ever

Strawberry Shortcake: but thanks to Jirou working at a haunted house I know how to make it look real

Mint Chip: ooh what tips?

Strawberry Shortcake: liquid latex, ground coffee, and torn tissues for any sort of weird wound stuff. There’s a lot more steps and other alternatives but it definitely worked for this

Strawberry Shortcake: iambecomemyolderbro.jpg

Rocky Road: holy shit I thought that was a pic of touya

Strawberry Shortcake: nah it me

Mint Chip: okay I’m by the entrance meet up with me I look like a crusty gamer

Mint Chip: ihopeidontgetarrested.jpg

Rocky Road: I hope we don’t get arrested shit a lot of y’all are too accurate

This Family is a Nightmare

Purple Son: I got someone else in line to take a group shot

Purple Son: fakeLeague.jpg

Purple Son: @Dadgiri please send this to the League chat

Purple Son: for the comedy

Dadgiri: aye-aye!

League of Assholes

Dadgiri: fakeLeague.jpg

Dadgiri: my son and his boyfriends dressed up as us @Jazz Hands @Yandere @Houdini @YesNo @Bluedabadi

Yandere: hollyyy shit

Yandere: I’m forwarding this to Jeanist he’ll get a kick out of funky little explosion boy using his makeup skills to slay

Yandere: also like? I am in this pic somehow? Is this how it feels when I transform into someone else???

YesNo: Whomst the fuck? This is amazing??

YesNo: this is kind of creepy

Bluedabadi: whoa I actually did not see the full getup from sho until literally just now so

Bluedabadi: I really want to send it to Enji and be like ½ of your sons dressed up as villains how do you feel

KFC: Touya no

Houdini: It makes me feel really weird that this is the kid we kidnapped and yet he looks better in a version of my suit than I do

Jazz Hands: What the absolute shit omg

Jazz Hands: Midoriya really went for it didn’t he

Bluedabadi: oh yeah they did some fancy arts and crafts to make the fake hands work

Jazz Hands: I really don’t know what to say to that

Dadgiri: And my son is literally me, so like?? I’m dying a bit??

KFC: you sure you two aren’t related by blood? Like at all

Dadgiri: oh nah he’s fifteen and I was definitely a noumu at the time

KFC: no I mean like a cousin or something

Dadgiri:

Dadgiri: huh

Dadgiri: I don’t think so, because my fam’s all accounted for, and he was in the foster system and they def wouldn’t have put a kid out when there are enough of them to take care of him. Couldn’t hurt to check someday but seriously doubt it

KFC: just asking; he’s like a weird amalgamation of you, mic, and eraser

Dadgiri: :3

Shirakumo>>>>>Shinsou

Shirakumo: leaguescreenshot.png so there’s that

Shinsou: oh neat

Shinsou: oh I’m def telling Bakugou how Compress feels about being shown up by him lol

Ultimate Hide and Seek

Small Might: villaincosplay.zip

[Six videos where contestants in a cosplay lipsync contest with spooky Halloween décor around the stage.

Video one is Todoroki as Dabi, summoning little flames and swaying as Arsonist’s Lullaby by Hozier plays in the background.

Video 2 is Bakugou as Compress performing aggressively to Paid in Exposure by Nathan Sharp.

Video 3 is Kaminari doing a scarily good impression of Toga wielding a holographic rainbow knife and using its handle as a microphone while dancing to Trouble is a Friend by Lenka.

Video 4 is Kirishima being Twice in a rendition of Friend Like Me from Aladdin, only he keeps pulling Twice matryoshka (curtesy of Momo) from pockets on his outfit and behind decorations on the stage so it seems like they’re out of nowhere.

Video 5 is Shinsou as Kurogiri, awkwardly attempting a compilation of tiktok dances purposefully before a record scratch sounds and he starts doing a complicated dance to Azukita by Daddy Yankee.

Video 6 is Izuku as Shigaraki, doing Wonderwall with an absolute deadpan expression the entire time. People roar with laughter and applause after his.]

Bubblegum: lklasdfjdj

Bubblegum: can you please send this to any league member you know omg

Slep: on it

This Family is a Nightmare

Purple Son: further proof that if we don’t make it as heroes, cosplay is in our future

Purple Son: villaincosplay.zip

Dadgiri: OMG

Dadgiri: okay so I sent it to the League and everyone’s screaming about it lol

Dadgiri: Tenko literally sent an audio of him screeching wordlessly for fifteen seconds

Dadgiri: and then texted “I’m gonna fucking stream myself doing that”

Dadgiri: toga said bet so he’s definitely going to do it

Purple Son: WHAT

Ultimate Hide and Seek

Slep: screenshot.jpg

Slep: this is your creation, @Small Might, you absolute chaotic dumbass

Slep has changed Small Might’s name to “Chaotic Dumbass”

Chaotic Dumbass: thanks I hate it

Slep: I’ll get the details on his stream so we can play it in the common room

Bubblegum: oml

Flex Tape: can I just say that wow 10/10 eyeliner game Bakugou

SPARKLE: Right??? I can never get my wings even like that much less that cut crease

Jackie Chan Furry: petition to get makeup tutorials from Bakugou?

Jackie Chan Furry: “Anyway, don’t bother with the shitty liquid liner if you can’t even draw a line straight with a fucking pencil”

Jackie Chan Furry: *smudges mascara* DIE

Pomeranian: Ah, so it’s you that has a death wish today

Space Cadet: legit though that sounds dope??? Especially since I def don’t want to hire makeup artists as a pro if I don’t have to and can basically just do concealer/lip gloss/mascara and that’s it

Jacked Up: actually I’d literally kill to do my eyeliner like yours Bakugou lol

SPARKLE: rt

Pomeranian: since half of you can’t do makeup for shit and need to be in the public eye I guess I’ll do some kind of thing Tuesday night so you don’t embarrass yourselves when you try

Pomeranian: no one needs makeup to be a hero but it’s fuckin useful sometimes

Slep: tru

Slep: think you got anything to cover my eyebags

Pomeranian: I can’t work miracles hitoshi

Six Gays in a Room Bitching

Mint Chip: can someone blease help me

Mint Chip: my hair Will Not slick down for Nighteye’s style

Rocky Road: I gotchu babe these spikes don’t do themselves lol

Mexican Chocolate: you absolute liar Ei

Mexican Chocolate: you just use your quirk, spray the shit out of it, and leave it

Mexican Chocolate: come up to my room if Jeanist’s pomade tamed my fucking hair yours won’t stand a chance

Strawberry Shortcake: I’m really conflicted about whether to do the jacket or not I was using my ice a lot yesterday not to overheat in the crowd

Mexican Chocolate: skip it

Mexican Chocolate: the wings are recognizable enough with the undershirt and it’s not like you can’t wear the jacket another time

Rocky Road: plus your arms are fuckin amazing since you started training with Deku so?? Show off??

Blueberry Swirl: think I can sneak out without Loud Dad forcing me to take pics??

Rocky Road: Eri will be so upset if you don’t

Blueberry Swirl: betrayed by my own boyfriend smh

This Family is a Nightmare

Purple Son: I come again to this chat to share our cosplays before we go to the con! This time, it’s Pop’s job to share!

Scream Dad: will do!

Purple Son: herocosplay.jpg

Scream Dad: asklh

Pro(fessional)s and Con(fidential)s

President Michael: BEHOLD MY CHILD

President Michael: herocosplay.jpg

President Michael: I will update with any videos later lol @Care Bear Stare @Edna Mode @Sir Tarot Card @KFC

Sir Tarot Card: @Y’all Might’ve your son

Y’all Might’ve:

Y’all Might’ve: I’m dying oh my fuck

Edna Mode: Wooooow okay so doing a black jean version of my outfit might be a good stealth option apparently

KFC: hey Touya is Shouto a better you or me?

Discount Azula: fuck if I know but him as a blonde is fucking weird

KFC: you literally dumped hair color remover and bleach on your head like a fuckin water bottle after graduation

Discount Azula: shut

Discount Azula: anyway @President Michael I saw the villain lip sync from yesterday gimme the hero cosplay videos

KFC: oh don’t you worry I’ll post literally everything Hitoshi sends me

Whale Hail: tiny jeanist tiny jeanist tiny jeanist

Edna Mode: he isn’t that short, Kugo

Whale Hail: he is an Actual Child let me be also literally everyone but Yu is tiny on a normal day

Bun Bun: yus get it that Jeanist cosplay is dope

Bun Bun: Tsunagu I hope you know I’m stealing your intern this year

Edna Mode: You Will Not

Bun Bun: toooo laaaaate

President Michael: BEHOLD

President Michael: herolipsync.zip

[Seven videos on the same stage as the previous contest, but with a significantly less spooky theme.

Video 1 is Izuku as Sir Nighteye. The camera zooms in on him slightly. It begins with an odd ticking noise. Then, “Snape, Snape, Severus Snape . . .” he holds up a paper face like one out of a sports event. It has an image of All Might’s face in a familiar pose, from a well known “Y’all Might’ve” meme. He pulls him out on the “Dumbledore.” Then, on “Ron,” he pulls out David Shield’s face. Then, on Hermione, he pulls out his own face, and a howl of laughter from offstage can be heard. Finally, on Harry, he pulls out a picture of Tenko, printed from a screenshot of the stream he’d had the night before singing Wonderwall. The audio is edited at the end, and instead of “Pipe bomb” there is a clip of audio where All Might shouts “DETRIOT SMASH.” The camera shakes as the recording person laughs.

Video 2 is Shinsou as Eraserhead. He pulls out a length of capture scarf and then begins to use it like a gymnastics twirling ribbon as he lipsyncs to Chandelier by Sia.

Video 3 is Kirishima as Crimson Riot, doing an intense version of I Love Rock’n’roll. He gets the whole crowd to wave their arms in sync, jamming like it’s a real concert.

Video 4 is Kaminari as Present Mic who absolutely nails the timing of his lip sync. It starts with the “Into the Unknown” riff, but then cuts into the Immigrant Song and everyone in the crowd eats it up.

Video 5 is Bakugou as Best Jeanist. He is in a bulky black jean coat. The music begins and it’s Fashionista by Jimmy James. Bakugou struts through the whole thing, and each verse he takes off a jacket or other piece only to reveal more jeans beneath. It’s actually impressive how he was able to move with all those layers of denim at the beginning.

Video 6 is Todoroki as Hawks. It starts with a line from “The Horror and the Wild” by The Amazing Devil. He steps forward on each line, “Remember me, I ask/Remember me, I sing/Give me back my heart you wingless thing.” However, a moment later, there’s silence rather than the rest of the song. Instead, the Chicken Dance plays, and Todoroki does the whole thing.

Video 7 is the awards ceremony held by the host, who is in a pastel version of a Midnight cosplay. In third place is a Mount Lady cosplayer. In second is Shinsou. In first is Bakugou.]

KFC: I CawpweWOU;JFSL

KFC: HOW

Bun Bun: I—

Care Bear Stare: It’s nice that Eri’s an only child, really.

Edna Mode: I CAnT BrEAThe

Edna Mode: what the FUCK

Bun Bun: omg how the fuck

Bun Bun: how many pairs of jeans did this kid buy and alter specifically for this?!

Class 2-A Official

Aizawa: Okay, Bakugou, how many pairs of jeans did you buy for that cosplay?

Ashido: *gasp* sensei are you using this chat for social purposes?

Aizawa: a pro hero inquired.

Bakugou: five pairs I didn’t already own, plus a denim skirt and jacket. I had to dye a few of them.

Aizawa: Thank you

Pro(fessional)s and Con(fidentials)

Care Bear Stare: “five pairs I didn’t already own, plus a denim skirt and jacket. I had to dye a few of them.”

Edna Mode: I have taught him well

Sir Tarot Card: @Y’all Might’ve this is your successor

Y’all Might’ve: yeah

Y’all Might’ve: I sent it to Tenko and to David. Tenko immediately sent angry emojis back, and Melissa recorded a short clip of her father flat on his back in his office talking about how cute it was.

Y’all Might’ve: needless to say, even if these students become high-ranking heroes, they’ll probably still qualify for undercover work, given their abilities to act and disguise. And also I’m amazed Izuku’s hair didn’t puff up while he was moving around like that.

President Michael: Kami has truly captured my energy and I approve 1000% of them

President Michael: and yes I meant 1000

Ultimate Hide and Seek

Flex Tape: so like

Flex Tape: we’re absolutely not allowing Aizawa to stage a class for the cultural festival right??

Slep: absolutely not

Slep: the obvious answer is that we already have a fuckin band let’s do a concert

Jacked Up: UM

Jacked Up: you really think that’s a good idea?? I mean we’ve only practiced for y’all

Teef: aww come on Jirou! You’re all really super talented, and I know we can come up with roles for all of us to play!

Jacked Up:

Jacked Up: ok well there’s the band itself, lighting/tech/sound, other effects? Decorations? Dancers, if anyone is capable enough

Violet Parr: apparently according to their lip syncs we know at least five available dancers!

Zapdos: make that four! Me and Tokoyami can take care of extra guitar/bass stuff!

MCR: I will play if I’m needed

Yaomom: and I actually can play piano!

Jacked Up: cool cool

Jacked Up: So: Me and Shouji on vocals/guitar, Kami and Tokoyami on bass, Momo on keys, Baku on drums. Aoyama on lights and décor planning. Hagakure on choreo.

Bubblegum: ooh I can help with choreography!!! I’ve done a lot of dance over the years!

Violet Parr: !!! Let’s work on something together!

Polish Flag: I feel like I should be with Aoyama on effects???

Polish Flag: I can do a bunch of ice sculptures and any pyrotechnics?

SPARKLE: can you do snow or small ice crystals?

Polish Flag: very slowly?

SPARKLE: hm

SPARKLE: OH could you figure out a way to chip at his ice quickly, Kirishima?

Teef: two-person snow cone machine, got it

Mina: Jirou, do you have a song in mind?

Jacked Up: I have a few for a set, but one original I was working on that I think would fit really well!

Jacked Up: demo.mp3

Yaomom: holy shit I’m gay

Zapdos: mood but also

Zapdos: MOM SWORE

Jacked Up: asuhtl;

SPARKLE: anyone good at sewing? I think we should match with special outfits for the show and I physically cannot do twenty outfits in that time

Yaomom: I mean I could make them?

Gordon Ramsay: I’ll help you out with that!

Yaomom: thanks!

Gordon Ramsay: np! And I could hand out snacks at the entrance for people?

Jackie Chan Furry: what if we helped you bake like a huge tray of something and have it be a “just take one” sort of thing at the entrance?

MCR: before the concert begins, I can have Dark Shadow look over the sweets to discourage people going for seconds.

Gordon Ramsay: dope—now—cookies? Cakes? Brownies?

Flex Tape: I vote brownies!

Heely Nightmare: we could do half brownies, half cookies, for variety?

Gordon Ramsay: nvm I got it; I’ll do chocolate chip blondies

Flex Tape: hnn will there be any left for us?

Flex Tape: also what’s my position?

SPARKLE: well, you could either help with décor/effects up above the stage or you could be a dancer!

Flex Tape: hey Uraraka you think you and I could do something fancy?

Space Cadet: oh heck yeah

Bubblegum: anyone who doesn’t have a position report to me and Tooru or to Aoyama! We’ll figure out how to incorporate what you’d like to do best!

Class 2-A Official

Iida: We’ll be hosting a concert, sensei! We are still working out the details and rehearsal schedule, but we have definitely settled on that as an event.

Aizawa: good, I’ll put it down. I believe B is hosting a beauty pageant and general studies is doing a haunted house, so there’ll be a variety.

Ultimate Hide and Seek

Chaotic Dumbass: Mirio-senpai is bringing Eri to the concert!

Jacked Up: OH

Bubblegum: OH

Zapdos: OH

Teef: Now we have to make it extra special!!!

Slep: ah I’ve got something—Izuku, you need to make her a candy apple. She’ll be so happy spending time with one of her heroes and getting her favorite treat from another

Chaotic Dumbass: I’LL DO IT ABSOLUTELY

Space Cadet: that little girl’s presence gives me so much serotonin

Flex Tape: right???

Chapter Text

Green Bean has changed the chat name from “The Mighty Fam” to “Inkonori Wedding Time!”

Green Bean: I’m so excited oh my gosh

Midomom: !!!!!

Y’all: !!!!!

Tarot: you two are definitely made for each other

Tarot: Naomasa is at the venue. Is everyone on both wedding parties with their respective person?

Midomom: myself, Mitsuki, my aunt, Eri, Shouto, Hitoshi, and Denki are all present!

Y’all: Mirai, Gran, myself, Bakugou, Kirishima, David, and Izuku are all together as well!

Green Bean: Okay, phones away, you two! Enjoy your day!

The garden was filled with murmuring people. There were heroes and civilians alike, and Detective Naomasa was at the head of the clearing set out for them. An archway of honeysuckle with white and golden ribbons weaved through it stood behind him. The rows of chairs each had a bundle of white chamomile and blue hyacinths tied on the ends. Finally, music started playing—a violinist started up quietly. Everyone turned to look behind them.

Toshinori and Gran Torino walked alongside one another towards the altar at the front. For once, Toshinori was wearing a suit that fit him quite well, despite how tall and thin he was. Next was Kirishima and Bakugou, both in dark grey suits with deep almost-red orange ties. They took their place next to Toshinori. Next were David Shield and Todoroki, who split off to either side—David was wearing the dark grey and orange, and Todoroki had a pale grey suit with a light blue tie. Kaminari and Shinsou followed, wearing similar suits to Todoroki.

Then, Nighteye and Mitsuki followed, arm in arm. Mitsuki was wearing a flowing sunset orange dress with a high neck and short sleeves. Nighteye had a light grey suit with a light blue vest and tie beneath. They split off, waiting for the rest.

At the back of the garden, Aizawa encouraged Eri. She fidgeted nervously a moment more before coming forward. She had a fluffy tulle orange skirt and a blue shirt, along with a flower crown that matched the bouquet Inko had picked out. She started scattering petals carefully, walking forward and meeting her older brother’s eyes. She smiled widely then and stepped forward more confidently, tossing petals as she went. Izuku followed suit, eyes wide and wet as he moved forward, holding the pillow with two wedding rings on it. He stood next to Eri to the side of Naomasa and met Toshinori’s eyes. His grin widened.

Finally, the music picked up, and Inko entered the garden. She had a beautiful gown with a structured bodice and off-the shoulder sleeves. The satin a-line skirt shined in the sunlight almost like gold, along with the detailed train behind her.

Inko’s smile was wide and her eyes were watering. Toshinori was the same.

Naomasa cleared his throat and began the ceremony.

“We are gathered here today to celebrate the marriage between Yagi Toshinori and Midoriya Inko. This is a time for your friends and family to come together and celebrate that love.”

Everyone sent entirely silent—not even the clicking of cameras interrupted the detective as he spoke.

“Love is more important right now than anything. The kind of love that you choose to act with, day in and day out, the kind that you swear to another person. You are important to one another in a special way that you’ve chosen to share, and you will do well to remember that your choice now, your promise to one another, is one worth keeping. Let’s begin—The rings?”

Izuku stepped forward, presenting the rings. Toshinori gave him a bright smile and took one. Inko was already crying and smiling, too, as she took hers.

“Now, Toshi, repeat after me—and I’ll know that it’s the truth, that these vows are what you’ve decided to honor to one another.”

The rest of the ceremony seemed to fly by in tears and congratulations and pictures. Inko only just barely managed not to cry her makeup off, thanks to Mitsuki’s intervention. Toshinori, on the other hand, started bawling the second Inko first referred to him as her husband.

Ultimate Hide and Seek

Chaotic Dumbass has changed their name to “Small Might”

Small Might: come on it’s definitely appropriate again

Zapdos: *Todoroki secret love child conspiracy noises*

Small Might: S H U T

Polish Flag: It’s not really a secret anymore but it’s appreciated Denki

Zapdos: you bet it is

Violet Parr: how was the wedding guys???

Polish Flag: surprisingly devoid of reporters

Small Might: my mom’s lawyer friends went to the networks first :D

Polish Flag: ah that explains it

Flex Tape: now the question is: how uncomfortable does your room make you feel right now Izuku? That is your FATHER’s merch!

Small Might: Still! Processing! Four-year-old me would be dying rn

Heely Nightmare: if you have any questions about being related to a well-known hero that isn’t a trashfire, feel free to ask me!

Small Might: thanks Iida! I’m still kinda tired so I’m probably gonna like set my phone down and pass out in bed pretty quickly tonight

Small Might: OH also Satou’s cousin made the cake and a sheet cake for the reception and we have extra since it was so rich tasting. Does anyone object to me bringing it to the dorm?

Actual Sunshine: ლ(╹◡╹ლ)

Small Might: of course I’ll save you a slice!!!

Gordon Ramsay: seriously??? I’m so down Maka and Haruhi gave me a sample when I visited and that is literally god food

Space Cadet: I’ll go ahead and speak for everyone to say PLEASE FREE CAKE

Bubblegum: ^^^^^

Small Might: All right! Sounds great! I can bring it for a treat after rehearsal for the concert?

Frogger: are your mom and Yagi-sensei going anywhere for a honeymoon?

Small Might: they’re delaying it until winter break to do something a bit less public. Mic is doing a quick interview with them on his show next weekend

Pomeranian: holy shit auntie’s doing an interview??

Small Might: yeah! She’s actually super excited about it since she’s a fan of mic’s show

Slep: lol I’m telling him

Small Might: please do

Jackie Chan Furry: @Bubblegum I have watched your choreography video like three times and I’m still confused about how to do the bridge transition when I’ve got a whole ass tail in the way

Bubblegum: ass tail?

Jackie Chan Furry: yes

Bubblegum: lol but for real send me a clip of you trying with a little bit of the stuff before and after you’re okay with so I can see where the problem is! Either I’ll adjust the choreography or re-teach it with your balancing in mind

Jackie Chan Furry: thank

Bubblegum: welc

SPARKLE: @Polish Flag @Teef how is the sparkling snow machine duo going?

Polish Flag: well, I figured out how much ice is necessary and Kirishima’s got a rhythm to shave it off the way you want, but I fail to see how sparkly it is?

SPARKLE: It will definitely sparkle. I need @Flex Tape and @Pomeranian’s status on firework duty?

Frogger: I’m taking over firework duty; Sero’s on streamers with Ocha remember?

SPARKLE: RIGHT well?

Pomeranian: I was going to ask about that in chem actually

Pomeranian: once my nitro sparks, it can react with the compound powders in the mini grenades, but I need to see if the antimony does anything weird. Ideally it’ll do what you asked to reflect the ice stuff even more, but I need a lab to double check the color composition

Zapdos: and you’re the one who calls Izuku a nerd

Pomeranian: are you saying he’s not?

Zapdos: just saying pot, kettle

Yaomom: Ooh I actually was going to talk to you about it, Bakugou! I’ve got the compounds you requested in small packets to attach to the grenades

Heely Nightmare: Tensei’s just going to be excited to put up the blast shield again

Heely Nightmare: you’re turning him into a pyromaniac

Pomeranian: not my problem

Heely Nightmare: I’ll make it your problem

Pomeranian: oh is that a fucking challenge

Heely Nightmare: meet me in the pit

Heely Nightmare: meaning sparring mat, but I digress

Pomeranian: it is on

Izuku Protection Squad

Broccoli: I am changing our chat names today; I feel like we need it

Zuko: Go for it Izuchan

Broccoli has changed their name to “Glowstick”

Glowstick has changed Zuko’s name to “Theory Time”

Glowstick has changed You’ll Float Too’s name to “Kirby”

Glowstick has changed Tsu’s name to “Marsh Queen”

Glowstick has changed Iidad’s name to “Greased Lightning”

Greased Lightning: I was almost going to say I’m not Kaminari, but you know what? I’ll take it

Kirby: MY MARSH QUEEN OMG

Marsh Queen: acceptable

Theory Time: okay I’m literally going to start my weird theory of the day thing in the main gc because I’ve already been Exposed™

Greased Lightning: but why glowstick?

Theory Time: he snaps, he glows

Greased Lightning: understandable

Greased Lightning: I was going to ask if any of you wanted to go over the sign language homework with me? I’m afraid I’m not doing so well with the school subject vocabulary.

Kirby: oh rip same

Marsh Queen: I can go over it with the rest of you after dinner if you like

Greased Lightning: thanks, Tsu!

Endeavor Sucks

Animal Crossing: So I may or may not have convinced Flaming Garbage Pile to let us all use the main house for the holidays???

Teacher Voice: wait what

Animal Crossing: perks of being the estranged quiet one: I secretly build up blackmail and have enough that he won’t know how much is going on! Also he has no idea I run the Endeavor Hate twitter account that did the edit of him as Disney’s Hades

Glowstick Bones: Omg can I bring my parents??

Animal Crossing: @all

Animal Crossing: holidays at the Todoroki’s? We have a huge kitchen!

Blasty: holy fuck yes

Smol Zuko: I’m with Kiri Denki and Shinsou and they say yes

Discount Azula: hoo boy this is going to be interesting but yes

Teacher Voice: did you get approval from mom??

Animal Crossing: heck yeah she wants to have a big get together. Nothing formal just a lot of people in the house you feel?

Teacher Voice: Awesome! @Bun Bun you ready?

Discount Azula: wait let’s do a headcount so we know how much has to be cooked for dinner

Teacher Voice: dm me if you’re able to come and let me know who you’re bringing!

Teacher Voice: okay looks like that’s a total of 20!

Pichu: yeah my parents want to do morning gifts and stuff but aren’t too big on holidays so

Teacher Voice: that’s okay!

Sharkboy: if it’s ok my moms are going to host a small new years thing for me and my boyfriends so they’ll pass this time.

Teacher Voice: absolutely – food restrictions? Anyone?

Mothman: my sister loves apples if someone could do something with that but we think she might have a bit of a problem with seafood. Not sure what but she tends not to eat it much

Blasty: did she like the pork katsudon?

Mothman: oh hell yeah

Minecraft: as long as no one tries to feed me weird old cheeses we’re good

Glowstick Bones: you know what I second that

Mothman: wait you’re still on that

Glowstick Bones: aoyama’s really creepy okay

Glowstick Bones: you’d think he’s not able to be sneaky but bam I suddenly have a wheel of parmesan on my dorm desk one day and I don’t know where it came from and he just wiggles his eyebrows at me

Sharkboy: are we exchanging gifts?? I don’t know what to get so many people omg

Blasty: we can do parent gifts at home and then significant others/siblings at the party?

Pichu: heck yes who do you take us for

Six Gays in a Room Bitching

Butter Pecan: wait does this mean I have to buy something for Fuyumi Natsuo and the others??

Strawberry Shortcake: don’t worry I’ll help you shop if you want to do it. This is kinda the first Christmas that we’ve had together in a very long time so whatever happens happens and as long as End****r doesn’t show up it’s going to be great

Mexican Chocolate: well fuck

Mexican Chocolate: how much will FuckHands McMike hate me if I just buy him a bulk tub of lip smackers in different flavors

Rocky Road: OMG please don’t

Rocky Road: he might actually succeed in killing you because we’ll all be rolling on the floor dying of laughter too much to stop him

Mexican Chocolate: I’m a bad bitch you can’t kill me

Ultimate Hide and Seek

Bubblegum: CONCERT TIME

Bubblegum: GET HYPED

Small Might: satou I need help I burned the caramel for Eri

Gordon Ramsay: on it

Space Cadet: can she sleep over in the dorms?? It’s a weekend coming up so Aizawa can’t complain we’re not doing homework

Actual Sunshine: <3

Slep: I’ll ask pops

Slep: he’ll think it’s cute

This Family is a Nightmare

Purple Son: @Scream Dad

Scream Dad: I’m up I’m up

Purple Son: can Eri stay over at the 1-A dorms this weekend after the concert? 20 free babysitters are interested

Scream Dad: sold

Dadgiri: ooh I’m so excited for the concert

Purple Son: same

Ultimate Hide and Seek

Heely Nightmare: Stunning work today everyone! The concert was a success and I believe @Small Might has selfies to share!

Small Might: oh absolutely

Small Might: EriWithApples.png

Small Might: MeMirioEri.png

SPARKLE: her smile . . . it is too bright . . .

Space Cadet: so pure!

Slep: she’s going to be staying over the weekend

Bubblegum: OH MY GOD YES

Violet Parr: sleepover with Eri?

Teef: I literally cannot wait

Zapdos: can confirm he’s like vibrating in his chair right now

Teef: shut the up fuck

Zapdos: nah

Almost Hentai: I’m not feeling too well; the adrenaline got me through the concert but I think I’m coming down with something. Don’t want to get Eri sick so I’ll stay in my room for now!

MCR: I’ll bring you beef ramen up for dinner

Almost Hentai: what’s this? A bright spot in the darkness?

MCR: and then I will not share any of the extra apples Izuku brought for Eri’s taffy apples because I will be eating them

Almost Hentai: no wait

MCR: :)

Kirishima Protection Squad

Bomberanian: help I need to figure out gifts for the family party at the Todoroki’s

Sharkboi: rt

Charger: rt

Powderpuff: who do you have to buy for?

Bomberanian: I’ve got Ei, Deku, Shouto, Denki, and Hito covered. Now that we’re doing the big party I need one for Dabi, Fuyumi, Natsuo, Hawks, Miruko, Shigaraki, and Mrs. Todoroki.

Sharkboi: don’t buy artist gloves for Shiggy I ordered them and they came in a pack of 10

Remedial Bitches

The Fae: hey so what are y’alls hero names? Mine’s Maboromicamie, but teachers are asking for an abbreviation for “media reasons” :P

Katy Perry: The Frostfire Hero: Comet

McSplodes: You know I was going to be king explosion murder

McSplodes: then when that was shut down I went for lord explosion murder

McSplodes: the class talked about me having “Explosion Hero, Ground Zero” but idk

The Fae: ???

The Fae: fuck being not allowed what you want

The Fae: go big or go home

Angry Aang: mine’s Gale Force

Angry Aang: agreed with Camie! Also, there’s a radiation hero in Spain known as Ground Zero, so legal may get involved

McSplodes: seriously? Fuck

McSplodes: you know what? You’re right Utsushimi. Go big or go home.

Class 2-A Official

Bakugou: @Aizawa can I file an official hero name form? Midnight won’t like it and I don’t want to deal with explaining myself when she’s not going to accept anything from me

Kirishima: hoo boy this will be good

Aizawa: Just run it by me in a DM and we’ll file for it

Aizawa: I already made sure Ashido wouldn’t have to live with “Pinky” for the rest of her life

Ashido: which I will be forever grateful for

Bakugou>>>>>Aizawa

Bakugou: “Great Explosion Murder God: Dynamight”

Aizawa: I am not surprised. You have to be number one in everything, including being All Might’s number one fan, right?

Bakugou: fuck yeah

Aizawa: approved, though the tag part will probably be pending for some time until you establish yourself. Pretty much everyone has that though.

Bakugou: I’ll have the forms by Monday

Six Gays in a Room Bitching

Mexican Chocolate: screenshot.jpg I got fuckin approved bitches

Mint Chip: asdfhkl

Strawberry Shortcake: moral of the story: Camie should never tell Katsuki to “go big or go home” again

Butter Pecan: What? Seriously?

Rocky Road: holy fuck kat I’m w h e e z i n g

Blueberry Swirl: h-how did

Blueberry Swirl: how did you actively become a bigger all might fanboy than izuku?

Mint Chip: agreed h o w

Mexican Chocolate: I take everything as a challenge, deku

Mint Chip: I know this and I love you

Mint Chip: but damn

Ultimate Hide and Seek

Small Might: this just in: Kacchan is a bigger nerd than I ever was

Pomeranian: you shut the fuck up rn deku

Violet Parr: tea?

Small Might: tell them your new hero name Kacchan

Small Might: tell them :)

Pomeranian:

Pomeranian: “Great Explosion Murder God: Dynamight”

Flex Tape: holy shit

Jackie Chan Furry: omg

Gordon Ramsay: I hate it but it’s so fucking on brand

Gordon Ramsay: like seriously

Small Might: you’re fanboying after my dad Kacchan

Frogger: smh

Space Cadet has changed Pomeranian’s name to “#1 All Might Stan”

#1 All Might Stan: this is acceptable

Small Might: aw we’re matching

#1 All Might Stan: ew feelings

Almost Hentai: holy shit where are the spamming messages coming from

Almost Hentai: ah

Almost Hentai: shenanigans, business as usual

Almost Hentai: carry on

Chapter Text

Ultimate Hide and Seek

SPARKLE: thanks @Pomeranian for helping get ready for the double date tomorrow

Pomeranian: Yeah gotta be extra for the gym rat twins once in a while. Have to keep them on their toes

Teef: stop it I’m already gay you’re gonna kill me kat

Pomeranian: and iron man over there’s gonna be any better?

Teef: oh absolutely not

Teef: he’s like Kami after a big discharge whenever Aoyama’s around

Zapdos: I’d be insulted but that’s actually adorable

SPARKLE: I do have that effect ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

Violet Parr: GUYS HELP

Violet Parr: sleepymonkey.jpg my boyfriend is asleep on my lap and I cannot get up but I Need Snacc

Space Cadet: salty or sweet

Violet Parr: salty please

Space Cadet: popcorn floating its way to you!

Violet Parr: THANK

Bubblegum: dang ura being the sweetheart she always is

Frogger: that’s my gf <3

Jackie Chan Furry: thank you for feeding the beast while I was asleep

Jackie Chan Furry: also

Jackie Chan Furry: I desperately need help buying gifts for the holidays someone help

Frogger: got it kero

Frogger: I am the best gift finder

Space Cadet: Can confirm! It’s not even a bias thing Tsu just knows how people are

Jacked Up: not surprised

Endeavor Sucks

Smol Zuko: do NOT open any packages from etsy they are gifts and I will cut you

Smol Zuko: I’m looking at you natsu

Animal Crossing: okay okay look

Animal Crossing: it was ONE TIME

Discount Azula: it was every birthday and holiday gift for three years

Animal Crossing: Brothers? I have none, only Fuyumi and Mom

Teacher Voice: unfortunately, I’m on their side, Nat

Animal Crossing: @Minecraft save me

Minecraft: literally the last thing you want to ask of me but ok consider:

Minecraft: sometimes surprises suck??

Minecraft: kurogiri once got me a huge ugly sweater that I despised and I had to act like Everything was Fine

Smol Zuko: you still wear it tho don’t you?

Minecraft: not the point

Blasty: ugh I finally got all the gifts wrapped

Mothman: wait you actually gift wrap?? I just get a bunch of bags

Blasty: and that’s why I’m the best

Mothman: at gift wrapping? Is this the skill you want to gloat about?

Birb: to be fair? I cannot?

Birb: all my gift wrapping ends up looking like someone let a five-year-old do it lol

Glowstick Bones: you didn’t do It™ Kacchan?

Blasty: I did

Glowsitick Bones: well I’m not warning anyone

Birb: should I be concerned?

Smol Zuko: oh always

Pichu: esp when zuku and kat are collaborating on something lol

Pichu: Izuku could take over the world with the internet at his fingertips and Katsuki could would def scare anyone against us into submission

Teacher Voice: I don’t know whether this is a good thing or not

Smol Zuko: Izuku’s scary like you are.

Teacher Voice: acceptable

Glowstick Bones: we’re just shopping for gifts for everyone and can make you Suffer if we choose

Glowstick Bones: I bought stuff for Kacchan earlier in the month anyway

Remedial Bitches

Angry Aang: I was today years old when I learned that, apparently, during World War II, some Polish soldiers adopted a brown bear and, in the process, recruited him into the army?? In which he got promoted???

The Fae: I am literally cryin I’m so proud of you for using meme format correctly Inasa

Angry Aang: and the rest of it??

The Fae: oh I knew that already I live for wacky history shit

Katy Perry: same tho and Wojtek is one of the best ones

McSplodes: tbh I was more of a pirate kid than a world war history kid

McSplodes: before I figured out what the fuck gender I was, I was obsessed with becoming a pirate queen like Grace O’Malley or Ching Shih

The Fae: o shit there were actual pirate queens?

McSplodes: yeah

McSplodes: Grace O’Malley took over her father’s pirate business and literally met with Elizabeth I in England personally and asked her to remove a dude from power in Ireland and she agreed to do it straight up, and Ching Shih, after being super successful pirate for years, just asked the government to let her stop in exchange for a pardon and they let her run a gambling house into retirement because she was that intimidating

Angry Aang: I find one weird piece of trivia and then go down the rabbit hole

Katy Perry: I have a sudden urge to look up pirate queens and war bears

The Fae: this feels like a dungeons and dragons campaign

The Fae: yet it’s just humans being weird

McSplodes: you’ve played d&d?

The Fae: oh ya I used to run campaigns in junior high because I could fake out just about anyone for characters.

Katy Perry: so what you’re saying is you know how to DM

The Fae: oh god no

The Fae: I am not running a UA class campaign

Katy Perry: I was just asking if you could teach me? I’ve been wanting to play but have to just listen to podcasts in the meantime

McSplodes: how the fuck do you have free time to listen to podcasts?

Katy Perry: I listen to them instead of music during workouts

Katy Perry: me and Kirishima are going to start a horror podcast next though

Angry Aang: I’ve also found that podcasts are good chore music if you don’t mind people listening in on them

The Fae: oh lol I remember you and I cleaning the main gym and you didn’t realize your phone was connected to the speakers on Bluetooth not your earbuds

The Fae: The characters had a ton of chemistry so I literally asked him “do they bang or nah?”

Angry Aang: the answer was: not yet, but they do kiss by the end of the episode

Katy Perry: mm send me a list of recs?

McSplodes: hey what’s the one you and kiri are starting? I wanna listen

Katy Perry: I’ll send a link once we decide – he’s flip-flopping between two of them rn but is going to get started Monday so I’ll spam a vague listening schedule so we all mostly avoid spoilers

The Fae: omg thank uuuuuuuuu

Six Gays in a Room Bitching

Strawberry Shortcake: So do we want actually creepy, humor-creepy, or true crime for the podcast marathon?

Rocky Road: I’m up for whatever!

Blueberry Swirl: actually creepy

Mint Chip: true crime

Mint Chip: ah but anything works haha

Blueberry Swirl: shit that was at the same time lol I’m just a simple goth so whatever works

Mexican Chocolate: let’s knock out humor-creepy then

Butter Pecan: ah, goodbye, welcome to nightvale.

Mexican Chocolate: you listened to it already?

Butter Pecan: like three episodes lol

Butter Pecan: its format doesn’t mesh with my goldfish attention span

Rocky Road: about that actually?

Rocky Road: denki, do you have ADHD or anything like that--? My mom has it and has some good coping stuff if you want any input/advice/stim tools

Butter Pecan: aye—

Butter Pecan: I do indeed have that. And a form of dyslexia

Mint Chip: don’t forget the 1-A trauma!

Butter Pecan: I figured that was assumed

Mint Chip: fair

Rocky Road: anyway, my mom has a few different fidget things if you want to test one out for during class! And she’s in an office job so she has a lot of good school tips I bet

Butter Pecan: blease

Butter Pecan: I could definitely use the help

Mexican Chocolate: and you didn’t mention this before during study sessions because . . .?

Butter Pecan: it didn’t seem important?

Mexican Chocolate: you do know that I would have taken it into account when helping you study???

Mexican Chocolate: I know symptoms and causes are all different but at least I know some stuff about other study methods for neurodivergent people

Butter Pecan: ?

Mint Chip: ‘tis I, the Childhood Friend with Anxiety™

Butter Pecan: ah ok

The whole of the Todoroki household was filled with people like it hadn’t been in years. Touya, Rumi, Fuyumi, and Keigo were helping Rei set up the dining room for them all. Tenko and Natsuo were sorting gifts into piles for each recipient in the living room. Shouto and his boyfriends were finishing cooking and baking under Katsuki’s direction. It was a madhouse.

“Fuckin Eyebags, don’t try to lift that pan without an oven mitt! Only a few people in this house are fireproof!”

“It’s hot?”

“It just came out of the oven,” Katsuki deadpanned.

“Do I put miso in—”

“Half-n-Half, leave that alone and get everybody’s drinks. Ask what they want, fill them up, and set their glasses on the table where they belong.”

“ . . . yes, I probably shouldn’t be in front of the stove.”

It was perfect, in Shouto’s humble opinion.

Katsuki and Izuku bickered good-naturedly with Kaminari over which sides were best with the pork roast, while Kirishima teased Tenko (and wasn’t that a trip after all they’d been through because of him and his sensei?) about the matching sweater with Natsuo.

Rei happily chatted with Inko and Yagi over how the house redecoration was going. Everyone was happy, for once in that house. Touya met Shouto’s eyes over the dining room table and they both smiled. Touya’s smile, however, grew into a little smirk for just a moment.

“Keigo,” he said.

Shouto elbowed Izuku in the ribs to cut off his conversation with Natsuo over rescue heroes and medical teams working together. He jerked his chin towards Touya and Keigo.

“Yes?”

“Honestly, the whole high-school-sweetheart thing seemed like a cheesy romcom trope or a disaster waiting to happen every time I saw it happen.” Izuku froze at Shouto’s side, and he and Natsuo trailed off. Everyone quieted and turned their gaze on the couple.

“You and I have been at this a long time, though. It means so much to me that no matter how fast you fly away, you always come back to me.” Keigo’s eyes were widening with every word, becoming shiny. His mouth dropped open.

“Touya,” he said warningly. His boyfriend continued anyway.

“Call us whatever the fans have—two halves of a phoenix that keeps coming back, Icarus and the Sun—it’s something we can hold on to. We have fought tooth and nail to be where we are. Awkward high school me wishes he knew romance. But more importantly—” and he got up out of his seat, reaching for something in his pocket.

“Oh my god,” Keigo wheezed.

“So,” Touya knelt on one knee, pulling out a small black box.

“Oh my god,” Keigo said again. He really did sound like he was a rubber chicken taking in air, not the number one hero.

“Will you marry me?”

“Fuck yeah,” Keigo said, tackling his fiancé to the floor, just barely missing Shinsou who had been recording with his phone as soon as Touya had gotten everyone’s attention.

“Well, let me put the ring on, dumbass—”

“Oh, right—I’m your dumbass, now—”

“Goals,” murmured Denki.

“Same,” Eijirou agreed.

Endeavor Sucks

Teacher Voice: GIFT THANK YOU TIME GO GO GO

Minecraft: uh

Minecraft: what

Teacher Voice: these past couple of years we send texts to the group chat to thank one another for gifts by saying the most unexpected one we got since we didn’t always get to see each other in person

Birb: ah understandable

Smol Zuko: I’ll start

Smol Zuko: Rumi-san, thank you for the oversized sweater I am wearing it now and I think my boyfriends like it even more than me

Blasty: can fucking confirm

Bun Bun: o(○｀ω´○)9

Bun Bun: also @Blasty we need to talk about work study stuff I’m picking you up no questions asked. Bring @Glowstick Bones so I can teach you both how to break shit without breaking your shit

Blasty: understood

Animal Crossing: my least expected gift was the ACNH custom nikes thanks babe

Minecraft: and mine was the copy of Skyward Sword – what in fuc @Glowstick Bones?

Glowstick Bones: I just feel like it’s a good game for you idk

Minecraft: fair enough

Teacher Voice: it was very thoughtful of you to get that organizer messenger bag, Izuku! I’ll definitely put it to good use

Blasty: I’m still trying to figure out where you found a place to customize my hearing aids @Mothman

Mothman: that’s why my hair’s so big; it’s full of secrets

Mothman: in other news the cat headphones are fucking perfect and @Blasty I blame you for how much I’m going to walk around campus like I’m going to a rave with these things

Birb: a fiancé

Discount Azula: >:D

Birb: there’s no return policy tho

Discount Azula: :(

Discount Azula: anyway my least expected gift was the hair chalk thanks Sho

Smol Zuko: I figured you’d want to play with colors without frying your hair like high school

Discount Azula: and you would be right I can literally go neon rainbow whenever

Bun Bun: how the heck did your mom find out I like to knit anyway?

Discount Azula: she listens to us all rant about our significant others all the time

Bun Bun: you know I hadn’t considered that

Bun Bun: babe you talk about me with your mom?

Teacher Voice: duh

Pichu: my least expected was the EEVEELUTIONS ONESIES

Pichu: like seriously Kat how how how

Blasty: I’m just mad I couldn’t surprise Izuku with them

Glowstick Bones: I Know All

Pichu: aaand there’s the Nezu training coming in again

Blasty: oh no that’s been a thing he’s always like that

Sharkboy: not me crying in the club with my new leather jacket hoodie?? Howyou’re your mom do that Sho??

Smol Zuko: I showed her a pic of you in your hero suit and she had free time to embroider the back

Sharkboy: sobbing

Bun Bun: my actual unexpected thing was similar: the coat. THE COAT TOUYA

Bun Bun: I never thought I’d be able to say I like something like that enough to want more than one but I’d buy like 10 because holy shit

Discount Azula: tbf long coats are badass and it seemed like a good extra layer without compromising movement ie the slits along the seams

Bun Bun: are you saying it’s patrol grade??? Keigo tackle your fiancé with hugs for me

Birb: on it

Glowstick Bones: my least expected gift was for sure the all might crocs, Kiri

Sharkboy: aw really?

Glowstick Bones: yeah I didn’t think anything like that was in production!

Sharkboy: oh no I made them

Glowstick Bones: you did???????????

Sharkboy: ya I tried to make crimson riot and red riot ones before and I figured hey you know you’d probably like these

Sharkboy: I even wrote “socks” across the back for extra deku vibes

Blasty: you truly understand him

Smol Zuko: it’s kind of upsetting

Smol Zuko: not in a bad way more in a “why do you have the same brain right now” way

Mothman: they traded fashion sense for muscles

Pichu: oh absolutely

Blasty: definitely

Glowstick Bones: I know, but hey!

Sharkboy: I know, but hey!

Sharkboy: omg

Chapter Text

Ultimate Hide and Seek

Zapdos: Well now I have to say it:

Zapdos: the idea of Izuku being trained by both Nezu and Miruko is like, absolutely terrifying

Bubblegum: deku being trained by who and who now???

Teef: I mean Kat’s going to work under Miruko too?? Which is also??

Pomeranian: excuse you?

Violet Parr: ah tru

Violet Parr: if she weren’t the Rabbit Hero she’d be the Demolition Hero so like?? You’ve already got the ability to destroy Tokyo itself at your fingertips

Pomeranian: *gestures at Deku, Detroit Smashing through the entrance exam* and that was his first attempt at using the quirk??

Polish Flag: uhh about that

Jackie Chan Furry: oh god guys

Jackie Chan Furry: you know how OFA “stockpiles power”???

Jackie Chan Furry: well while sparring with Tetsutetsu an hour ago Izuku discovered yet another new quirk

Space Cadet: explain

Polish Flag: so while Izuku and All Might were quirkless before OFA, the users before them were decidedly Not

Polish Flag: and in the middle of training Deku sees me falling from the great height that I’d been thrown by Kendo and? Suddenly black tentacle things just? Appear from him and he yanks me out of the air and then he pulls me to him and is just. Flying?

Almost Hentai: you know this is a great opportunity for me

Almost Hentai has changed Small Might’s name to “Real Hentai”

Real Hentai has changed their name to “Small Might”

Almost Hentai has changed Small Might’s name to “All Might x Venom Fanfic”

All Might x Venom Fanfic: NO

All Might x Venom Fanfic has changed their name to “2 More Quirks???”

Almost Hentai: ok ok I was just messing around

2 More Quirks???: I’m f r e a k i n g

2 More Quirks???: I didn’t mean to? It just happened?

Space Cadet: Well, how many people had One for All?

2 Quirks???: I’m the ninth

Space Cadet: That means, given time (if I understood correctly) you’ll eventually have six, plus OFA itself, since the first user was OFA and All Might was quirkless too?

2 Quirks???: oh my god hElp

Slep has changed 2 Quirks???’s name to Dekiru

Slep: it’s gonna be all right Izuku; we’ll help you figure them out

Dekiru: thanks Shinsou

Dekiru has changed their name to Small Might

Small Might: I’m just gonna keep that for now can I get uhh polycule cuddles?

Zapdos: omw!!!

The Mighty Fam

Green Bean: dad HELP I developed Float today???

Y’all: what???

Tarot: it’s entirely possible that the strength stockpile Yagi did on his own added up and unlocked further strength in the quirk that normally wouldn’t have happened, or 9 was just the lucky number to begin this development. You said before you’d already unlocked blackwhip; we’ll have to look at the other users’ quirks.

Midomom: Izuku. Sweetie. Are you saying that you’ll probably have about six quirks as you continue to train?

Green Bean: yeah right now I have one for all, float, and something with black tendril things?

Zoom: that was the fifth user, Lariat’s power. Blackwhip. Old Banjo Daigoro was quite the . . . interesting guy.

Green Bean: is there any documentation of his hero work?

Zoom: I’ll send you what I have. He used it mostly for mobility. That and I’ll see if I have correct information on the other users’ quirks. Jeez, kid, you’ve got a lot coming. You being able to use Float is going to be a hell of a nuisance for anyone trying to keep track of you.

Y’all: oh no

Class Reps and Teachers (Don’t Know What They’re Doing Either)

Y’all Might’ve: terrifying news

Y’all Might’ve: Izuku is developing the quirks of the previous All for One users. He is going to have six new quirks. He developed two already.

Insomniac: allow me to go find some tequila to deal with this info

Cloud Hoe: I gotchu babe

Snipp: do we at least know what quirks he’s going to develop?

Y’all Might’ve: I don’t know all of them but Gran Torino does. He’s going to give Izuku a full rundown

GiantRatWhoMakesAllOfTheRules: This is fascinating! Be sure to have him forward the info to me as well!

Y’all Might’ve: will do sir

No Vampire Jokes: so that’s what tetsu⁴ was screaming about

Bible Discussion & Study Meeting: tetsu⁴ I’m wheezing

Ultimate Hide and Seek

Slep: well uh izu? You ok?

Small Might: thank you for the cuddles

Small Might: I’m freaking out less now. Also Gran Torino is looking up the previous OFA users to give me info on all the other quirks, so I’ve got that going! Otherwise the only ones I know are Lariat (whose quirk is Blackwhip) and Shimura Nana (whose quirk is float).

Zapdos: so you’re strong and can fly? my boyfriend does is green superman?

Space Cadet: that’s super exciting, Deku! We’ll help you train up those new quirks; don’t worry!

Small Might: thanks, I appreciate it

MCR: you’ll have to make alterations to your hero uniform to account for accessibility to your new quirks, correct?

Small Might: aw damn u right

MCR: hatsume was trying to convince me that I need a rocket launcher in my next version of my suit so be warned ahead of time that she’s going to pull shenanigans™

Small Might: noted!

Heely Nightmare: speaking of, does anyone have alterations to their uniforms they’re considering or need assistance with? Because I’ve got the wheel addition but am also considering a design more similar to modern cars for aerodynamic purposes.

Space Cadet: yes actually! I’m going to ask about some more reinforced areas for joints and armor areas, and maybe some helium and/or flight-suit gliders. And more storage for flares and first-aid supplies, since I’ll need that for rescue

Space Cadet: less practical and more aesthetic, I’m also debating whether to get a different hairstyle? I know what I’m thinking is a bit more tough looking, and won’t really match the cute aesthetic I’ve been building up

Frogger: Ochako

Frogger: sweetheart

Frogger: you would be cute with like 20 piercings and a shaved head. you could wear an entirely hardcore punk look and you’d still be adorable

Space Cadet: I

Jacked Up: Ura right now: stop it I’m already gay

Frogger: to be perfectly fair that was my thought when she sent me a pic of the style she wants??

Frogger: like it’s this short, cropped style with constellations shaved into the sides? And I love it for her?

Bubblegum: oml I love that for you

Space Cadet: you think it’ll look ok?

Pomeranian: as the one with fashion designer parents I can say confidently: it’s a fucking hairstyle and if anyone gives you shit for it I’ll fuck them up

Space Cadet: hnn thank

Slep: on that note I’m debating getting some piercings and am wondering about placement options

Zapdos: oh hell

Small Might: aawraljs;g

Polish Flag: Shinsou, to quote Jirou: stop it we’re already gay

Slep: okay????

Bubblegum: sorry but I’m with your boyfriends on this one lol you’re going to kill baby gays with that

Slep: so . . . no piercings?

Bubblegum: YES piercings. All of the ones that you want.

Polish Flag: I’ll text you details from Touya’s piercer if you want?

Slep: yes ok but seriously: lower lip piercing(s), eyebrow piercing, or industrial?

Small Might: yes

Slep: consider I cannot afford all at once

MCR: eyebrow because my cousin said her industrial was really painful for a first piercing and lip may mess with your quirk training a bit while you’re healing up. Do the other two when we’re not close to midterms so you can take it easy on the healing

Slep: thank you Toko you’re the real mvp

MCR: sure

Small Might: any suggestions for my hero uniform/look while we’re talking about it?

Pomeranian: undercut, lose the bunny ears, yes to ear piercings, maybe cape, and I beg you stop with the red sneakers

Small Might: okay maybe on the bunny ears, I’ve never done piercings before though I was thinking about small gauges, we’ll see about the cape, I’m worried the undercut will make me look even more like a stalk of broccoli, and you can pry my shoes from my cold dead hands

Pomeranian: bet

Polish Flag: how dare you assume you won’t be cute izu

Polish Flag: in addition, consider: long haired, non-spiky mohawk eijirou

Pomeranian: oh my g o d

Teef: you think I should grow it out?

Pomeranian: I will die

Pomeranian: yes

Teef: dang I’m gonna have to stock up on hair ties huh

Violet Parr: I can give you the mowhawk and undercut literally this weekend if you want Mido and Kiri

Violet Parr: my mom taught me how to cut hair on her so I’m pretty good with that kind of stuff

Pomeranian: hnng

Flex Tape: lol I’m dying this is great

Flex Tape: but as for more practical changes, Kouda, have you considered a hoodie with pet-sized pockets to keep animals with you?

Actual Sunshine: („• ֊ •„)

Flex Tape: right?? Just, kitten in the hood, bunny in a pocket, belt with a ton of treats and stuff

Actual Sunshine: \(^ヮ^)/

Almost Hentai: I’m going to add some holsters for equipment. Any recommendations?

Zapdos: do not forget a pocket for snacks

Gordon Ramsay: can confirm snacc pockets are essential

Yaomom: I saw a pair of pants the other day with zippers up the legs and I think I love that idea for my next suit version! I could definitely have more space for snacks in something like that

Jacked Up: love that for you!

Jacked Up: going to add more amps along the shoulders and boots via mic-sensei’s advice

Slep: same hat

Slep: going to experiment over whether my quirk works over the phone/over small Bluetooth speakers, because if so I can knock people out remotely too

Violet Parr: you and me would make a great stealth team omg

Slep: that’s too powerful Hagakure omg

League of Assholes

KFC: I am dyyyin rn the photographer is arguing with Touya and I’m just sitting here waiting to be a thirst trap for them someone distract me

Yandere: You want to hear about my day with Jeanist?

KFC: anything

Yandere: so backstory his sidekicks are finally not treating me like a bomb waiting to go off so I’m just free around the agency now and he has all his sidekicks wear some level of denim right? Because if he’s out in the field he wants access to be able to protect them as best as possible

Yandere: WELL he gave me a jean jacket last week and I was like?? I’m crying?? Can I customize it?

Yandere: he was surprised because no one has asked before and I was like uh duh I’ve learned how to embroider and sew and paint to make clothes and his eyes like, sparkled, and he said, and I quote:

Yandere: “Thank fucking god someone who understands!” and whisks me to a workshop like a little fairy godfather moment and there’s just a huge craft/sewing room and obvi I’m like so what can I use and he’s like anything so I go all out with the beaded embroidery across the back and on the cuffs and collar. Then I line the inside with lace and its perfect right??

Yandere: well all his sidekicks saw what I did and everyone has been commissioning me to embroider their back pockets/customize their jeans and today I realized that I’ve been paid for my work?? Secretly tipped?? And apparently Jeanist has been topping them off with the payments in an account I didn’t know I had and he gave the info today and I cried into his shoulder bc I didn’t realize how much people appreciated it. Guys. Guys. One of the interns painted me a custom pair of shoes as thanks and I don’t know how to deal.

Yandere: jacket.png shoes.jpg [A tailored jean jacket with cherry blossom patterns sewn into the back panel and collar with lace flaring out from the bottom and sleeves. The shoes are painted with a similar pattern and have crisscrossed holographic knives painted on the heels. Overlaying these images are many heart and crying face emojis.]

Yandere: help its cute I can’t

YesNo: literally gonna die of the cute

YesNo: ugh

Dadgiri: omg Toga?? Can I commission a thing? I’ll dm you about it

Yandere: sure!

Houdini: Midnight wants to know if you’ll be picking up Sushi tonight or tomorrow btw

Dadgiri: tonight would be good! Just let me know when and I’ll pop over

Houdini: when

Dadgiri: omw

Bluedabadi: it was not a ridiculous request, Kei! They wanted my fiancé in nothing but shorts for a fashion shoot! Where’s the fashion???

KFC: I’m hurt babe I’m the best accessory there

Bluedabadi: please no

Gang Orca Stan: really? In front of my salad?

Gang Orca Stan: also when’s the wedding I wanna crash lol

KFC: not for a bit. Probably fall next year?

Bluedabadi: ^^^

Bluedabadi: All Might was smart to get engaged after retirement; less media coverage. I’m gonna marry the number one hero in front of everybody

Mag: are any of us invited?

Bluedabadi: uh duh

KFC: yes to all! It’s going to be a big thing no matter what so at least we can invite people we like

Miruko has created the chat: Sun’s Out Guns Out

Miruko has added Deku and Dynamight to the chat!

Miruko: okay boys we’re gonna start talking about work studies in this chat bc I’m not waiting until the time of year comes around and I’m not subjecting the Todoroki chat to my training schedule updates

Dynamight: fuck yeah

Deku: super excited to work with you, Miruko-san! ₍ᐢ ̥ ̞ ̥ᐢ₎ ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

Miruko: so . . . cute . . .

Dynamight: ikr? He’s always been this way

Miruko: well gonna combine the cute with the terrifyingly strong during our time together. Be prepared, boys :D

Chapter Text

ltimate Hide and Seek

Violet Parr: I have decided to cause problems on purpose yet again: what’s a story you have from work studies-and/or-internships that just. Baffles you.

Violet Parr: mine was looking at expense reports for Mount Lady’s usual work week. There’s this huge amount labeled “Harry Chapin – 30,000 pounds of bananas.” None of her coworkers have monkey or banana-fueled quirks. Neither does she. There is no one working for her named harry chapin; it’s a song, apparently. When I asked, the sidekick just froze and said “we need them. Don’t worry about it.”

Violet Parr: like. I like bananas, but what?

Small Might: Sir Nighteye takes the “save people with a smile” thing so seriously that he literally has a tickle machine ready to deal with people at his agency that don’t.

Small Might: Cool motive, still weird!

Bubblegum: omg we need to set him up with Ms. Joke

Small Might: ?!?!

Bubblegum: Camie always talks about how she wishes Joke would finally ask someone besides Aizawa out

Slep: the joke is that they’re both gay, Mina (well, she’s bi, prefers women tho)

Bubblegum: *slams hands on table* why do you know this?!

Slep: She had a girlfriend in high school while Dad and Pops dated Oboro. They plus Midnight and Ingenium were all at a party and some douche was hitting on Joke, and Would Not Get The Hint about her girlfriend, so Aizawa stepped in and just glared at the dude and like, still has Yamada clinging around his neck and says in an actual deadpan “we’re dating”

Slep: and for some reason the dude believed him, so it’s a running gag. Any time the two of them are in public together it’s just “date me” “no god never” because he just, didn’t even try and the dude believed him?

Teef: Fatgum has a groupchat for all of us labeled “One black coffee”

Teef: Amajiki-senpai is “We have food at home” Tetsu is “McDonalds! McDonalds!” Fatgum is “Chimken Nuggies” and I’m “Ronald”

Gordon Ramsay: I’ll have you know I just spat out my drink that’s so cursed d

Slep: who even came up with that?

Teef: idek man

Flex Tape: As it turns out, doing a work study alongside Ojiro is hilarious

Flex Tape: he’s? so quietly sassy it’s great?

Flex Tape: villain crashes through a bakery, right?

Flex Tape: Ojiro, my bro:

Flex Tape: dammit man if you wanted me to slow down you drive a hard bargain I’m starving

Jackie Chan Furry: why would you do this to me

Violet Parr: no let him continue sweetheart

Jackie Chan Furry: ugh

Flex Tape: Police officer asks us to hurry up our report

Flex Tape: Officer: “You do know we have somewhere to be?”

Flex Tape: Ojiro: “and I’ll tell you where if you give me like 45 seconds to write the rest of the villain’s info”

Jackie Chan Furry: ugh please stop

Flex Tape: I shan’t

Jackie Chan Furry: don’t make me expose you

Jackie Chan Furry: you actual office max aot character

Flex Tape: omg omg

Gordon Ramsay: whaaaat

Flex Tape: please don’t I’m sorry

Jackie Chan Furry: perish

Jackie Chan Furry: gaydisaster.mp4 [a video taken during a training session. Sero is swinging from ledge to ledge, and Iida, below, sped around obstacles and rolled up a ramp to crash completely through a barrier, knees first. Once the dust cleared, Iida stood, carrying the hostage dummy. Sero, staring at him, slammed into a pole face first instead of making a turn to get to his destination.]

Jackie Chan Furry: iida go get your mans to recovery girl

Small Might: wow sero really taking my place as the one with most frequent broken limbs

Flex Tape: SHUT

Flex Tape: 2 v 206+ is a very big difference mido

Flex Tape: we’re totally not discussing Kirishima getting fucking launched across the training ground?

Pomeranian: it was a good plan

Zapdos: it was a good plan

Bubblegum: owo what’s this?

Bubblegum: kiri chilling on bakuhoe’s lap on a car that kami hotwired?

Teef: it was FUN and EFFECTIVE mina

Bubblegum: :3

Flex Tape: I can’t tell if I’m supposed to be jealous bc bakusquad shenanigans without me or whether this was a boyfriend thing

Pomeranian: it was a strategy stfu

Polish Flag: can someone tell me what Midnight was trying to explain during the PR lesson today? I don’t get how the design stuff correlates with the psych stuff

Violet Parr: I got you todo! Was it the color stuff or the composition stuff that lost you?

Polish Flag: all of it???

Violet Parr: ok I’ll dm you my notes and can explain

Pro(fessional)s and Con(fidential)s

President Michael: cute eri pic of the day

President Michael: eri.png [an image of Eri braiding tiny braids into Shinsou’s hair, tying them off with sparkly hair ties with butterflies on them]

Sir Tarot Card: Adorable

Bun Bun: ooh imma send that to my future interns so they can share with their boyfriends >:D

President Michael: please do I have to look like a professional sometimes in front of them and therefore cannot

Discount Azula: I await the day they’re added to this chat

President Michael: ah, but by then Tensei will have posted too many memes for anyone to want to scroll that far back

Edna Mode: sadly, he has a point

Sonic: you act like I don’t have a folder of screenshots specifically for blackmail

Sonic: Nemuri and I share it with each other

President Michael: BETRAYAL

Ultimate Hide and Seek

Yaomom: I just had a discussion recently with a friend from middle school – does anyone in class play dungeons and dragons?

Violet Parr: uh yesss???

MCR: I’ve played quite a bit.

Zapdos: I’ve always wanted to; it seems dope!

Almost Hentai: I’ve dmed a few times; it’s definitely fun

Yaomom: I was just thinking I really wanted to play at some point, but we’re all so busy that I doubt we’d be able to find just about anyone to play with outside of class

MCR: I could ask Kaibara from 1B? He has been the game master for a few oneshots that I’ve played in.

Violet Parr: OOH wait so would everyone be in to play? Because that’d be a huge party

Polish Flag: I’ve asked Camie from Shiketsu about it. She has a whole list of types of characters she wants me to play sometime

Small Might: I definitely do!

MCR: no one has to.

Violet Parr: okay but REAL question: D&D race, class, and other stuff for everyone in class?

MCR: I have thought on this

MCR: The darkness surrounding me is obvious. Aaracockra race, Warlock (pact of the chain for Dark Shadow as a familiar, Raven Queen patron), and I would likely use a sickle for a weapon.

Violet Parr: that’s easy lol, what about me?

MCR: Changeling rogue. Though the shapeshifting ability isn’t accurate, without it, changelings are relatively faceless.

Violet Parr: That—well, I can’t argue

Almost Hentai: I like to play clerics, but if I were playing myself I guess I’d be a rogue too? Probably hobgoblin with the inquisitive subclass so I could get all that seeing and hearing extra abilities.

Jacked Up: So me too?

Almost Hentai: oh no, you’re very clearly a bard. They’re known for casting magic through music.

Jacked Up: acceptable

Yaomom: and me?

Almost Hentai: idk either a cleric or a wizard? But I feel like you and Iida would be high elves. They’re kinda associated with royalty, academia, and aristocracy, so…

Yaomom: no, that’s fair

MCR: Kaibara said he’d do a campaign with rotating parties in groups between 3-7.

Bubblegum: I CALL BAKUSQUAD TO BE A PARTY OMG

Pomeranian: Why the fuck are you volunteering me?

Teef: would it be okay if I had some help making a character? I’ve never played before

Flex Tape: yeah, man! It’s been forever but I definitely played a little bit when I was in middle school—had a really cool teacher that ran a dnd club for a while—the first things to do are to pick race/class/background anyway!

Teef: ooh can I be a dragon???

MCR: kind of. There are the dragonborn race, draconic sorcerers, and some newer classes related to dragons as well.

Uraraka: hnn can I play a wizard?? A halfling one?? I love the idea of playing someone smol

Bubblegum: playing yourself would basically be that too tho if you did the gravity subclass

Uraraka: THERE’S A W H A T

Bubblegum: it’s newer but it’s called “graviturgist”

Slep: okay but can we all agree that Shigaraki is a necromancer?

Violet Parr: oh absolutely

MCR: There is no question

Heely Nightmare: @all Aizawa wants us to prepare for a trip to Nabu island. It’s for a safety program. Please pack appropriately for a day trip!

Yaomom: I’ll be sure to bring extra water bottles

Endeavor Sucks

Discount Azula: so I might have gotten into a fight with Ozai himself

Smol Zuko: Touya

Smol Zuko: Touya did you win?

Teacher Voice: more importantly are you okay???

Discount Azula: I’m fine lol

Discount Azula: I was on guard duty for a villain transport and trash can decided that, since he got his hero license back, his patrol could conveniently follow me. We had a loud and fire-filled discussion about the whole thing. Jackass accidentally released the villain in the process, so yeah.

Smol Zuko: do I have to prep for a villain attack Touya

Discount Azula: you shouldn’t have to

Smol Zuko: I’m going to assume that means yes considering our luck

Discount Azula: damn sorry sho. I’ll keep an eye on tracking down the villain and update you when I can.

Animal Crossing: Did you at least get a good hit in on him??

Discount Azula: duh

Ultimate Hide and Seek

Polish Flag: update: villain on the loose, curtesy of the flaming garbage can fucking up Touya’s protection detail on a prison transfer

Flex Tape: yay

Jackie Chan Furry: “Please let this be a normal field trip!”

Jacked Up: “With 1A?”

Space Cadet: “No way!”

Polish Flag: he let the pros know tho so at least we have a heads up?

MCR: what kind of insanity was that??

Pomeranian: Deku. Deku did you really.

Small Might: um

Slep: what happened. After the main fight, I was knocked out

Small Might: so I may have temporarily given Kacchan OFA?

Pomeranian: he did and I’m still freaking out tbh

Small Might: I have it back somehow for sure but??

Pomeranian: oh I think I sort of remember. We were both kinda out of it near the end there but there was some making out involved

Zapdos: I missed out on post-battle bakudeku?

Pomeranian: bakuwhat now?

Zapdos: ship names, look them up

Pomeranian: no, I know what ship names are, just

Pomeranian: okay now I’m thinking about fan culture for us when we all graduate and am now going to shut myself in my room and debate going underground

Violet Parr: oh it’s far too late for that lol

Violet Parr: That’s what we get for being public figures already unfortunately

Frogger: At least it’s mostly tame so far since we’re still in high school

Space Cadet: I am not looking forward to the internet culture that’s gonna happen when we debut

MCR: the horrors of what the public comes up with will creep upon us all no matter what we do

Zapdos: damn is it really that bad?

Slep: look up “tododeku vs todobaku” and watch how feral some fans are lol

Almost Hentai: wooooow

Almost Hentai: well we could always clear it up during pride month if that’s something you want to do? People would go pretty crazy over that I think

Zapdos: BET

Zapdos: if my partners are okay with it tho

Teef: we can take that to the polycule chat

Yaomom: Jirou? Would you like to go to a pride parade with me?

Jacked Up: absofuckinglutely

Pro(fessional)s and Con(fidential)s

Bible Discussion & Study Meeting: PRIDE MONTH BITCHES

Cloud Hoe: YUS

Edna Mode: oh god

Whale Hail: have you got your pride collection ready, Tsunagu?

Edna Mode: *cries in procrastination*

Care Bear Stare: if any, and I mean any of my students knew that you didn’t, in fact, hold the pro hero brain cell at all times

Care Bear Stare: Bakugou would be crushed

Edna Mode: oh my god I’m so glad Toga is on our side now because she started the project during her free hours

Edna Mode: patches.png [an image of a table’s worth of homemade pride flag patches shaped like jean pockets]

Bun Bun: that’s legit adorable

Y’all Might’ve: @President Michael

President Michael: you rang?

Y’all Might’ve: can you get set up for that interview we were talking about

President Michael: you’re doing it? Omg???

Y’all Might’ve: I most certainly am

KFC: who’s joining me on the pan float?

Cloud Hoe: I’m absolutely joining you

Whale Hail: no wait I want to hear more about this interview

Y’all Might’ve: well, I suppose this will be some form of practice?

Y’all Might’ve: Keep it quiet here, because it’s not something I want public until the actual interview, but I’ll be coming out as bisexual as well as promoting the pro pride events.

League of Assholes

Gang Orca Stan: you know, on one hand, I hate corporate pride, including pro pride

Gang Orca Stan: but on the other hand, walking alongside Gang Orca and watching him work well in a fuckin designer pride suit is *chefs kiss*

Yandere: I FINISHED THE PATCHES BITCHES

YesNo: ooh share share

Yandere: patches.png ta-da!

Dadgiri: anyone actually listening to Mic’s interview with All Might tonight? I have it on good authority that it’s going to be wild

JazzHands: yeah I’m listening to it with Nighteye

KFC: it’s def gonna be interesting

JazzHands: !!!!!

Yandere: BI MIGHT?! WE ARE THE SAME???

Dadgiri: I already knew but I’m legit crying why is he always so s i n c e r e

Bluedabadi: Now both recent number 1 heroes are queer @KFC

KFC: oml I didn’t even think of that

Mag: HOLD THE FUCC UP

Mag: TRANS MIGHT???

Mag: WHAAAAT

Bluedabadi: OKAY THIS I DID NOT KNOW

Bluedabadi: brb gonna try and convince one of my sponsors to do an LOV float in the parade because this is a historic occasion

Jazz Hands: oh god

Six Gays in a Room Bitching

Rocky Road: I’M FUCKIN

Rocky Road: SCREAMING

Butter Pecan: what’s up? I’m hanging with Sero and Kouda watching Disney movies rn

Mint Chip: ALL MIGHT JUST CAME OUT AS BI AND TRANS I’M SOBBING

Mexican Chocolate:

Blueberry Swirl: I’m def like?? Feeling like this is a dream??

Mexican Chocolate: all might is what

Mint Chip: PUT ON MIC’S STREAM RIGHT THE FUCK NOW THIS IS NOT A DRILL

Strawberry Shortcake: this is amazing

Strawberry Shortcake: (also damn you really can’t be his secret love child)

Mint Chip: THIS IS NOT THE POINT OR THE TIME

Strawberry Shortcake: fair okay but like

Strawberry Shortcake: #bimight #transmight is trending and I’m a bit in shock blinking at twitter rn

Strawberry Shortcake: I actually feel a lot better about doing the pride event now than I did before

Blueberry Swirl: tbh same

Blueberry Swirl: Pride versions of our costumes?

Mint Chip: I already talked to Momo and Mei about it

Mexican Chocolate: thank god one of them actually has taste

Butter Pecan: Hitoshi and my hero costumes together make the nonbinary flag already so?? We win??

Blueberry Swirl: o shit u right

Chapter Text

Ultimate Hide and Seek

Almost Hentai: I’m YELLING oh got that was beautiful

Jackie Chan Furry: ikr

MCR: you know something is impressive when Shouji is yelling

Almost Hentai: the whole thing. The flags. The floats. I have never been in a class that showed off that much diversity in pride and it’s honestly amazing

Space Cadet: aah Shouji it was so fun to see the facepaint thing you did between your arms! So creative!

Polish Flag has changed their name to Zuko

Zuko: I am back to murderous tendencies, this time regarding my older siblings

Slep: what happened?

Zuko: fucking Touya did a bunch of thirst trap shit in public

Zuko: he is my brother I don’t need to see that

Teef: well at least the uh body glitter matched between him and Hawks?

Zuko: I suddenly have one less boyfriend

Teef: what no baby I’m sorry

Zuko: . . . forgiven but on thin ice

League of Assholes

Jazz Hands: I really, really want to get some hot food right now

Dadgiri: then make some?

Jazz Hands: but then I would have to get out of bed

Bluedabadi: I feel that

Jazz Hands: a;lweijr

Jazz Hands: the fuck

Jazz Hands: @KFC what the fuck

KFC: delivery?

Mag: holy shit ok so the number one hero also is my personal hero because he just also dropped off a big thing of mac n cheese

KFC: look I stress cooked too much last night and it reheats well so I filled a bunch of bowls for later. Meal prep is a lot easier for my brain to handle in chunks since I don’t mind eating the same thing a lot

Ultimate Hide And Seek

MCR: . . .

MCR: @SPARKLE

MCR: did you just deliver me a bowl of mac ‘n cheese?

SPARKLE: no?

MCR: nvm I found a note

Goth Bird>>>>>Big Bird

Goth Bird: why?

Big Bird: made too much and shiggy asked for food so I went on a night flyaround delivery like a mac ‘n cheese santa

Goth Bird: I see

Goth Bird: go to sleep

Big Bird: who’s she?

Goth Bird: I mean it Hawks

Big Bird: f i n e

Class Reps and Teachers (Don’t Know What They’re Doing Either)

Insomniac: someone tell Hawks to stop breaking into the school to leave food at night

Insomniac: I had to reset the alarm again

Sanic: I’ll talk to him

Sanic>>>>>KFC

Sanic: go the fuck to sleep

KFC: jeez I’m on it Tsukuyomi already nagged me

Sanic: good

KFC: I’m the number 1 hero dammit

Sanic: Do you want me to get All Might to tell you to go to sleep

KFC: no

Sanic: then it’s bedtime for number one heroes rn

Ultimate Hide and Seek

Flex Tape: IZUKU HEY

Flex Tape: ARE YOU GONNA DO THE THING

Small Might: what

Flex Tape: You have got to be kidding me

Flex Tape: your tumblr is trending on twitter again dammit and for Reasons

Small Might: oh god

Polish Flag: it’s golden and I love it

Polish Flag: screenshot.jpg [A screenshot of a tweet that has a great deal of retweets. The tweet is by user @Nevergonnagive and is a screenshot of a tumblr post by Hero Menagerie. The post is as follows:

Top Ten Heroes based on Dad Energy (I will not explain anything)

All Might
Eraserhead
Present Mic
Miruko
Gang Orca
Best Jeanist
Selkie
Lunch Rush
Joke
Snipe

Dishonorable Mention: Endeavor, who is the opposite of a dad. He’s clearly a dumpster fire.]

Polish Flag: there are amazing replies, such as “the creator of Y’all Might’ve clearly wants All Might to adopt them” and “This list is out of order. Miruko should be number three at least” so yeah

Small Might: AAAH

Small Might: I just opened tumblr and there are too many notifications oh my god

Small Might: MS. JOKE AND PRESENT MIC RETWEETED IT ON THEIR OFFICIAL TWITTERS I CAMT BREATHE IJA;O;DLAKSFJ

Zapdos: this is beautiful. My boyfriend, the meme.

Small Might: OH NO

Small Might: dying.jpg [screenshot of a retweet of the above tweet, by All Might’s official twitter account, which has the title of “Dad Might.”]

Small Might: HE

Class Reps and Teachers (Don’t Know What They’re Doing Either)

Insomniac: @all

Insomniac: why is the problem child screeching in the middle of free period

1ida: a post he made on his tumblr went viral on twitter!

Insomniac: wait

Y’all Might’ve: ooh, which one? I’ll have to look at it!

Momo: you’ve seen it

Momo: you’ve shared it, actually

Y’all Might’ve:

Y’all Might’ve: one moment

Dad Might>>>>>Son Might

Dad Might: Izuku

Dad Might: I’m sorry that I embarrassed you at all

Son Might: ??????

Dad Might: the dad energy post

Son Might: oh

Son Might: that

Son Might: I’m not embarrassed so much as freaking out? People don’t know that I’m that person so the connection is weird and just that a lot of people have seen the post is the sort of thing I didn’t anticipate

Dad Might: would you like me to take it down?

Son Might: nah

Son Might: actually

Son Might: I have an idea

Dad Might: I’m listening

Ultimate Hide and Seek

Slep: omg I can’t believe this

Slep: dadmightthesequel.jpg [a screenshot of a retweet from All Might, quoting the previous retweet of the top ten list. All Might’s username is now “Dad Might.” The comment states: My son still thinks I’m number 1! #dadmight @MidoDekuOfficial]

Small Might: Okay so while I thought the chaos would be fun

Small Might: I also am kinda dying right now because now people can connect all of my official hero anything with my fanboying as Hero Menagerie. So there’s that. But then again I’ve never posted anything that I’d be ashamed of, just embarrassed about.

Slep: put it this way:

Slep: own it. You confidently said those things as Hero Menagerie, and you cared about hero stuff a lot on there. It just shows that this was always something you wanted to do, something you always have on your mind.

Small Might:

Small Might: thanks Hitoshi! I really needed that.

Gamer Boyfriend>>>>>Jock Boyfriend

Gamer Boyfriend: are you coming over on Thursday?

Jock Boyfriend: honestly I really want to but this chapter is ridiculous and while I technically could study at the apt with you, you’re also a big distraction

Gamer Boyfriend: srsly

Jock Boyfriend: I don’t want to do work when I’m with you lol

Gamer Boyfriend: fiiine

Gamer Boyfriend: but next week my supervised parole starts so I’m just getting antsy

Jock Boyfriend: I already know this and I have Plans if you don’t already

Gamer Boyfriend: really?

Jock Boyfriend: duh I wouldn’t forget that. I’ve been paying attention to dates and stuff. I was thinking we could go to Nara Park for a picnic. This time of year it’s a little less busy so we won’t get harassed.

Gamer Boyfriend: let’s do that then

Jock Boyfriend: (/^-^(^ ^*)/ ♡

Bandmates

Bluetooth: So I uh

Bluetooth: I might have started making playlists for people. Not everyone. But I had ideas.

John Cena: please share omg

Bluetooth: soo

Bluetooth: here or in the main chat?

Bluetooth: the only one I made a playlist of in this chat is @Bomb Dot Com

Bomb Dot Com: look ears: Sparky will go feral if you share anything like this. They will.

Twinkle: and if you haven’t managed to do a playlist for everyone, I’m absolutely sure they’ll understand! So few songs go well with my sparkling personality!

Bluetooth: Okay

Bluetooth: I’m not sharing Momo’s tho since I sent that to her dms

John Cena: hnn come on share them

Ultimate Hide and Seek

Jacked Up: prepare for link spam

Jacked Up: Midoriya Playlist

Jacked Up: Bakugou Playlist

Jacked Up: Todoroki Playlist

Jacked Up: Kirishima Playlist

Jacked Up: Mina Playlist

Jacked Up: Kaminari Playlist

Jacked Up: Sero Playlist

Jacked Up: Mei Hatsume Playlist

Jacked Up: Shinsou Playlist

Jacked Up: Aizawa Playlist

Jacked Up: Present Mic Playlist

Jacked Up: Loud Cloud Playlist

Jacked Up: Dabi Playlist

Jacked Up: Shigaraki Playlist

Jacked Up: Hawks Playlist

Teef: jiiiiirooouuuuu omg

Frogger: why are Izuku and Todoroki crying?

Frogger: ah I see

Slep: when I recover from this I’m sending my dads theirs

Jacked Up: oh god okay

Teef: not me crying at the club over Shirakumo-sensei’s playlist actually

Slep: so is he

Pomeranian: where the fuck did you find these songs ears???

Jacked Up: part tiktok part my own weird taste

Zuko: Izuku and I are both crying actually

Yaomom: Kyouka I told you they’d like them!

Jacked Up: yes but consider I was a n x i o u s

Yaomom: fair

Teef: fair

Small Might: fair

Six Gays in a Room Bitching

Mint Chip: uh

Mint Chip: I just got a dm on twitter and do not know how to feel about it

Mint Chip: It’s from my bio father??? I think???

Mexican Chocolate: blocked and reported

Mexican Chocolate: if I see that shithead’s face it’s on sight

Butter Pecan: context??

Butter Pecan: I’m on board for beating up shitty fathers but context?

Mint Chip: more or less he walked out on mom and I when I was diagnosed quirkless, sent checks from overseas, and hasn’t spoken to either of us until the twitter dm. Apparently he recognized his bio kid getting adopted by All Might.

Strawberry Shortcake: say less when can we beat him up

Mint Chip: look first of all I think it’s very sweet of all of you, but no, he’s a civilian

Mint Chip: I was more asking for cuddles and help sorting out my thoughts/how to respond

Rocky Road: have you told your mom?

Mint Chip: no but good idea

Blueberry Swirl: let’s convene in Todo’s room with the cats and cuddle Izuku?

Butter Pecan: you’re a genius Toshi yes

Mint Chip: that sounds great actually

The Mighty Fam

Green Bean: screenshot.jpg [a screenshot of a twitter dm for Izuku from @Midori.Hisashi that states “Hello Izuku. It’s been a long time, and I’m sorry for that. I will be in Japan and available next month if you’d like to meet at all. I hope you’re doing well – I’m very proud of you.]

Green Bean: I’m really not sure what to do with this other than send him middle finger emojis but I want to be more mature than that

Midomom: excuse me while I attempt not to go find and punch this man in the face

Y’all: He genuinely does not have anything to do with your success. I’m struggling to understand why he’s “very proud” when he hasn’t had anything to do with you for more than two thirds of your life.

Green Bean: good so it wasn’t just me finding it weird

Green Bean: I don’t want to just block him but also don’t know what to say? I don’t know if I want to see him or not tbh

Midomom: you know I’ll support you either way, honey. Despite my personal issues with him, your relationship with him is completely up to you unless he poses a threat to your safety.

Green Bean: I mean, I could punch him through a building

Midomom: mental stability counts as part of that, sweetheart

Tarot: it’s incredible how wholesome Mirio thinks you are, Midoriya

Tarot: if I might interject?

Green Bean: oh go ahead!

Tarot: He wants something. He wouldn’t break routine unless something in his own situation changed – whether that was noticing your success or an otherwise glaring issue in his own life is irrelevant. He is not doing this out of the goodness of his heart, based on what little I do know about him.

Tarot: So, make sure before you decide to meet him: what are you getting out of it, and is that an equal or better exchange for you than him? It’s not wise to think of social situations as transactional unless you’re dealing with someone that you want to have strict boundaries with, but I figure this is one of those cases.

Green Bean: that’s actually helpful. I mean, I don’t plan on giving him anything lasting if we do meet. I don’t plan on having a relationship with him. It’d mostly be a closure thing for me, which honestly wouldn’t be terrible. And it’s not like I had anything hostile with him before he left – I’m just, y’know, disappointed in him.

Zoom: damn but you’re a mature kid. Okay. Would you like one or more of us to be there?

Green Bean: Not sure. I mean, I don’t want to corner him. But I also definitely don’t want to be alone.

Midomom: That’s absolutely fine, sweetie. I’d feel more comfortable if you were somewhere with an adult, even knowing you can take care of yourself. Maybe you could bring one of your datemates along?

Green Bean: I hadn’t thought of that beyond how bad it would be to bring Kacchan along

Midomom: Actually I was going to suggest you bring him, but that might have been a petty thought

Green Bean: omg lol

Y’all: honestly, I would say consider bringing young Shouto, since he’s experienced to some degree with dealing with terrible father figures, but if it would be uncomfortable for him, to bring young Eijirou.

Green Bean: Shouto’s words upon understanding the situation: “say less when can we beat him up”

Midomom: perfect

Green Bean: m o m

Midomom: sorry sweetheart. I should be less harsh

Green Bean: no honestly I’m mostly doing this to tell him off for leaving so???

Midomom: insert “being the bigger person” lecture except I finish it with “the person that was harmed shouldn’t have to be the bigger person when they were the one mistreated/neglected”

Green Bean: I love you mom

Y’all: she’s crying too hard to type but she says she loves you too

Green Bean: this is Kaminari, Izuku’s crying too hard to type but says the same!

Chapter Text

Ultimate Hide and Seek

MCR: I’m quite bored today. Does anyone want to try Ultimate Hide and Seek again, seeing as we’ve kept it as our chat name but only played once?

Small Might: I’m sorry I’m going to meet my dad

Violet Parr: what? I thought All Might sensei was doing that news conference

Small Might: *bio father

Jackie Chan Furry: I keep forgetting you have one of those. I just assume All Might has always been your dad.

Zuko: Right???

Small Might: I’m bringing Kiri with me so I’m not alone when I tell him he’s not my real dad, he’s just a dna donor

Violet Parr: And also give us a live tweet experience, correct?

Small Might: *sigh* yes

Teef: only if it’s okay with Izu!

Small Might: it is, I just also like to pretend that All Might has always been my dad

Pomeranian: I’m telling your mother everything that goes down

Small Might: You are not

Zuko: then I will

Small Might: I suppose I can’t count on Denki or Hitoshi?

Slep: you suppose correctly

Slep: you’ve helped us through our craziest shit. Let us be protective of you.

Small Might: ultimate hide and seek when we get back?

MCR: the darkness will continue upon your return

Small Might: thanks toko

Pro(fesionals) and Con(fidentials)

Care Bear Stare: @Yall Might’ve

President Michael: he’s going to be at the news conference until 10 sho

Care Bear Stare: dammit I was going to ask him to let someone else take chaperoning shift tonight

Edna Mode: this isn’t the teacher’s chat

Care Bear Stare: it was the chaperoning Shigaraki shift

Edna Mode: ah carry on

Whale Hail: you were going to watch Shigaraki? Isn’t he like, not allowed on campus?

Care Bear Stare: it’s because he’s finally technically allowed supervised parole and his boyfriend was planning a date in Nara Park. I was going to be the supervision from the trees since Yagi does not know what subtle means

Sonic: so uh who the hell is dating crusty mcfuckhands?

Discount Azula: *sigh* my brother, Natsuo.

Bun Bun: it’s hilarious because he’s trying so hard to be supportive of Natsuo but also cannot stand that Tenko is the boyf

Discount Azula: yes let’s laugh at my suffering

Edna Mode: ha

KFC: ha

Whale Hail: ha

Discount: smh

President Michael: ha

President Michael: dammit

Bible Discussion & Study Meeting: I mean look, at least they’re together now that Tenko’s a civilian?

Discount Azula: that’s not when they started dating

Discount Azula: natsuo convinced him to turn himself in

Sonic: woooooow

Discount Azula: see what I mean

President Michael: I’m judging but also glad?

Discount Azula: yeah

Gamer Boyfriend>>>>>Jock Boyfriend

Gamer Boyfriend: okay so how weird on a scale of 1-10 is the chaperone thing I don’t want to offend him out loud but I can Feel His Eyes Watching

Jock Boyfriend: meh I think a 3

Jock Boyfriend: I was the son of the no. 2 hero for basically all my life, guards are nbd

Gamer Boyfriend: fair

Jock Boyfriend: at least it’s Aizawa. I hear All Might does not know subtle, even retired.

Gamer Boyfriend: lol that’s def the truth

Jock Boyfriend: look at my cute boyfriend tenko.jpg [an image of Tenko with cherry blossoms stuck in his hair and looking cross-eyed on one on his nose]

Gamer Boyfriend: sounds fake lol

Jock Boyfriend: joke’s on you this is my lockscreen now

Ultimate Hide and Seek

Teef: I’m live texting the polycule chat and they can give you updates

Bubblegum: nooo now we’ll get filtered info

Teef: I’m trying to contain the chaos slightly

Heely Nightmare: thank you, Kirishima!

Zapdos: I’ll send pertinent screenshots dw

Bubblegum: thnx boo

Small Might: please for the love of god do not come after my bio dad

Small Might: he’s shitty but he’s my shit to deal with

Space Cadet: I’m sorry but also if he turns out to be more than you want to handle I am sending him into the sun

Heely Nightmare: please do not plan murder on text that can be traced

Space Cadet: thank you iida

Flex Tape: I feel like that shouldn’t be the part of the text that is the problem babe

Heely Nightmare: i

Six Gays in a Room Bitching

Mint Chip: okay Kiri and I are meeting him at the café to the north of my house, Kacchan knows where it is, please don’t do something like spy on us

Strawberry Shortcake: I WANT to but I won’t

Mint Chip: thank you sho

Butter Pecan: You got this Izu!

Blueberry Swirl: We’re here for you no matter what

Mexican Chocolate: he’s a dumbass. Kick his ass if he tries anything and walk out if you get nothing out of it.

Mint Chip: ⊂(⊙‿⊙)つ

Butter Pecan: that is a cursed emoji

Mint Chip: I couldn’t find a crying hugging one

Butter Pecan: fair

Rocky Road: approaching the café

Rocky Road: dude has fluffy black hair but his is def receding from his face lol

Rocky Road: one sec gotta make a good ish impression

Butter Pecan: I love savage kiri

Mexican Chocolate: agreed

Rocky Road: cool so my dude Mr. Mido is extra sweaty and stammery rn

Rocky Road: “Izuku, wow, you look well. I mean, obviously. You’re doing well. And I’ve seen on TV how you’re doing. Well. And.”

Rocky Road: Izuku: “Yeah. Why did you want to meet me today?”

Rocky Road: “About that.”

Rocky Road: . . . this man.

Rocky Road: he’s such a jerk

Rocky Road: sigh

Rocky Road: @ me “Um, do you want to go?”

Rocky Road: nah I’m here for my boyfriend

Rocky Road: Izu: I wanted someone with me, but I figured Kacchan might blow you up.

Rocky Road: Visible sweating now lol

Mexican Chocolate: ha he at least knows some sense

Rocky Road: Dickhead: “Ah ok. Well. Yes. I wanted to talk to you – I saw that Inko remarried, and that you’re doing well, and I was going to be in the country so yeah. Um.”

Rocky Road: Izu: “Yeah. Um. I’m doing great. Yagi’s really supportive as a dad. My hero course is doing a lot of good, despite all of the villain attacks.”

Rocky Road: Dickhead is sighing. Maybe he’ll actually say what he’s here to say!

Rocky Road: “I’m sorry about what happened, Izuku. I thought I was doing what was best for you two. The job was going to have a better salary and you didn’t need me around as much, once you were starting at school’

Rocky Road: holy shit this man

Rocky Road: Izu: “I’m going to stop you right there.” Yes my boo throttle him “You left because I was diagnosed as quirkless. You know that, I know that, everyone knows that. I was lucky – we found out I was a weirdly late bloomer. Yeah the job paid more – not much more – and you paying for your expenses in America left us with less than what we would have had if you had just kept your job here. You and I both know I’m not dumb enough to believe you. Now. What do you want.”

Rocky Road: would it be inappropriate to kiss him

Butter Pecan: unfortunately

Rocky Road: damn

Rocky Road: Hisashit is looking less nervous weird

Rocky Road: “I tried to convince your mother that we had options. The doctor had given us a perfectly good solution. It’s a shame.”

Rocky Road: uh

Rocky Road:

Blueberry Swirl: Eijirou?

Mexican Chocolate: shitty hair please answer

Ultimate Hide and Seek

Teef has shared their location!

Bubblegum: o shit

Slep: I’m texting Aizawa rn he dropped in the middle of a convo

Violet Parr: you’re kidding

Pomeranian: screenshot.jpg [a screenshot from the polycule chat from “holy shit this man” to “shitty hair please answer”]

Flex Tape: o shit

SPARKLE: M E R D E

Violet Parr: Aoyama what’s up?

Slep: Aizawa’s currently supervising Shigaraki but is taking him with to the scene, since the café is close to Nara park

Hagakure>>>>>Aoyama

Hagakure: what the fuck is going on

Aoyama: I really, really hope this isn’t what I think it is

Aoyama: because if it is I could have stopped it and didn’t

Hagakure: I’m in the kitchen with you. I saw your face drop. What the fuck is going on.

Aoyama: Okay. Okay. Let’s talk.

Pro(fessional)s and Con(fidential)s

Care Bear Stare: @all B-ranked American villain known as Sun Dragon active north of Nara park. He has two provisional hero hostages, his son, Izuku, and Kirishima. Any and all able to report please make your way to the Aldera District.

Y’all Might’ve: motherfucker

Class 2-A Official

Yamada: Aizawa and Fatgum are en route to Midoriya and Kirishima. Apparently, Midoriya Hisashi made a name for himself in America as the Sun Dragon villain. Don’t leave campus.

Bakugou: I knew I should have gone with him

Todoroki: Please someone tell me to listen to sensei because I am this close to running

Yaoyorozu: Izuku and Kirishima can handle one b listed villain, Todoroki, and Aizawa and the heroes in the area can take him down.

Shinsou: plus he’s been watching Shigaraki, so he’s there too

Sato: I feel like that shouldn’t make him feel better

Todoroki: and yet

Todoroki: Shigaraki is nominally on our side at this point so *shrug*

Yamada: I do not see this

Iida: thank you sensei

Todoroki has deleted one message!

Yamada: even better

Hagakure: sensei can you, Aoyama, and I talk privately for a moment.

Yamada: Punctuation, Hagakure!

Hagakure: sorry.

Hagakure: Sensei, you, Aoyama, and I should talk privately for a moment.

Yamada: ooooookaaay

Yamada: Momo you’re in charge

Iida: that’s fair

Class Reps and Teachers (Don’t Know What They’re Doing Either)

Scree: hey uh @GiantRatWhoMakesAllOfTheRules

Scree: evidence of human experimentation via AFO and Ujiko, combined with potential spying on our school through the manipulation of a minor. Thoughts???

GiantRatWhoMakesAllOfTheRules: hm

GiantRatWhoMakesAllOfTheRules: I don’t like threats to the school, but I’m also very invested in making sure the current Sun Dragon crisis is taken care of.

Scree: yes I understand it’s related

GiantRatWhoMakesAllOfTheRules: Bring the concerned parties to my office

Scree: got it

1ida: This doesn’t sound promising at all

Scree: please keep your mouth shut I beg this is a lot

1ida: got it

Aoyama>>>>>Midoriya

Aoyama: Hi, Midoriya. I have some things I have to tell you. I am texting you now because I don’t want to see you respond right away and I have a lot to say.

Aoyama: I’m telling Yamada-sensei all this, but I think you deserve to hear it. I think I might have been able to prevent your father kidnapping you and Kirishima. Here is the truth:

Aoyama: I was born quirkless. When I was diagnosed, the doctor spoke with my mother, and they gave me a choice, a gift: I could still get a quirk.

Aoyama: This doctor was Ujiko, in hindsight. And whatever deal my parents made with him, I don’t know. I was four. I finally had a chance to be a hero, and I had no idea there was a villain involved. But my parents watched my hero career closely. I thought it was because they wanted to be proud of me. But your dad’s words reminded me of everything.

Aoyama: I don’t know what my parents did. I don’t know what they’ve leaked. I didn’t think they would. I tried to ignore how shady it must have been, or convince myself that there wasn’t an issue.

Aoyama: but if your dad really said that. “The doctor had given us a perfectly good solution.” It reminded me of everything. I think he might have been offering your mom the same deal he offered my parents. I’m sorry for being so selfish not to bring it up. I was terrified that my chance would be taken away.

Aoyama: And I didn’t realize what they were offering. So.

Aoyama: I’m sorry. Please be okay.

Midoriya: I forgive you. There’s a lot going on now. We’ll talk.

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Haunted_Frost

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Chapter 1: Here We Go

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Chapter 2: The Sports Festival

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Chapter 3: Shinsou Has Entered the Chat

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Chapter 4: There's Something Terrifying About These Kids

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Chapter 5: The School Year Continues

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Chapter 6: Finals and Midoriya Fanboying for Extra Credit

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Chapter 7: Let's Not Talk About School for a Second

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Chapter 8: I Want More Eeveelutions

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Chapter 9: In Which Deku Rambles

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Chapter 10: Trials by Many Definitions

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Chapter 11: Rescue OP and What Comes After

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Chapter 12: Yeet Me. For Science.

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Chapter 13: Todoroki Family Drama: Natsuo Edition

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Chapter 14: What happens after we break up the band?

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Chapter 15: Someone Take Away Camie's Admin Privileges

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Archive of Our Own^beta