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Alert the Press, I've Fucked My Boss

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As soon as they get through the door, after coming home from the photo shoot, Tobin’s lips are on Christen’s and she’s pressing her against the door, her fingers, digging into her hips.

Christen gasps into her mouth at the unexpected action and then giggles, pulling away from Tobin, only to have the woman start to trail kisses down her neck. “Tobin, you’re stuff,” she says, weakly pushing at Tobin’s chest, though she doesn’t really want her to stop.

“I don’t care,” Tobin brushes off, not worrying about the equipment that she’d practically let drop to the floor as soon as they’d walked in. Though, she made sure to do it as gently as possible so that it doesn’t get damaged. She had just been in a hurry to get her hands on Christen.

And thankfully, it’s all in pretty protective bags.

She’s just feeling a bit of an adrenaline rush after having such a successful shoot, and going back to doing something that she loves. She’s also still feeling pretty possessive over Christen, after watching her interactions with Sam. And she knows that Christen loves her but it still doesn’t make the feeling of proving a point go away.

She’s the only one that gets to touch Christen like this and she’s going to remind her of that.

She removes the strap from Christen’s shoulder and places her camera down on the floor with everything else and then goes back to kissing Christen. “I want you now,” Tobin practically growls, pushing Christen harder up against the door, making the woman moan.

Christen doesn’t try and protest anymore and wraps her arms around Tobin’s neck, just as Tobin lifts her up by her thighs, making Christen wrap her legs around Tobin’s waist.

“You’re mine,” Tobin growls, attaching her lips to Christen’s neck pressing her back up against the door fairly hard.

Christen gasps and weaves her fingers through Tobin’s hair, but before she can really get into it, Tobin is pulling away with wide eyes and putting Christen back on the ground.

Christen steadies herself, feeling a little like she’s got whiplash. “What happened?” She asks confused, and sees the guilty look on Tobin’s face.

“That was too much. I shouldn’t have said that. I’m sorry,” Tobin apologizes, looking panicked.

Christen furrows her brows and tries to replay everything in her head and then realizes what Tobin is talking about. “Tobin, it’s okay,” she assures her with a little smile, slightly amused at how worked up Tobin is over the comment.

“No, it’s not. You’re not my property and I know I was jealous and acting all stupid and possessive at the beach and I’m sorry. I just kind of lost control in it all and I wasn’t thinking, but I definitely don’t think you are my property or-

“Tobin, seriously,” Christen interrupts with a chuckle. She slides her hands up Tobin’s chest and wraps her arms around Tobin’s neck, stepping closer to her girlfriend. “I know that you don’t think that way and honestly, it was kind of hot,” she smirks.

Tobin looks at her a bit skeptically and chews on her bottom lip, “really?” She questions, not truly believing it. She knows how Christen’s last relationship was and she doesn’t want her to feel like she’s anything like him. She definitely doesn’t own Christen and she knows that.

“Really,” Christen confirms quietly before pulling Tobin into a searing kiss, leaving the woman a little breathless. “And totally not in a property or owning kind of way, I am definitely yours, Tobin. Just so you know,” she confirms with a little smile, brushing some hair behind Tobin’s ear.

Tobin grins back at her, “I’m yours too,” she tells her before quickly lifting her up again and pressing their lips together for a passionate kiss. She pulls her up off of the door and starts walking them down the hall and into the kitchen, never detaching their lips from each other.

Tobin places Christen down on the counter and then quickly starts unbuttoning Christen’s blouse, accidentally ripping a few buttons off when she can’t get it undone quick enough and just pulls it off of her.

Christen just chuckles into Tobin’s mouth as she hears the buttons bouncing across the kitchen floor. But her laughs soon turn into moans as Tobin’s lips trail down her chest and she sucks a nipple into her mouth. “Oh fuck, Tobin,” Christen groans, pulling gently on Tobin’s hair.

After a minute of showing both Christen’s breasts equal treatment, Tobin pulls away and looks at Christen who’s chest is heaving and her eyes are half closed. “Stand up,” she instructs the woman. “I want you naked,” she adds, and quickly starts to pull Christen’s skirt down as soon as she’s off the counter.

“Oh god,” Christen groans, as Tobin bites down on her hip bone, sliding her underwear down her legs. “Fuck me right here, Tobin,” she requests, not wanting to waste time in going to the bedroom.

Tobin hums and stands back up, looking Chriten eye to eye. “I think it’s you who should be on their knees right now,” she rasps, leaning in and biting Christen’s bottom lip. She puts a hand on Christen’s shoulder and pushes her down to her knees. “You weren’t a very good girl today. Making me jealous,” she comments, threading her fingers through Christen’s hair. “I think you were enjoying it,” she adds, giving Christen’s hair a little tug.

“Shit,” Christen groans, but doesn’t protest and quickly starts unbuttoning Tobin’s pants, pulling them down her legs and helping the woman step out of them. “God, I love that you wear briefs. You’re so fucking sexy,” Christen groans, her hands gripping Tobin’s thighs and sliding around to grab her ass. “You’re the only that I want,” she assures her.

“Take them off,” Tobin instructs, pulling Christen’s hair again, this time hard enough to mask her gasp.

Christen bites her lip and lets out a moan, looking up at Tobin to make sure she knows that she’s enjoying this. She doesn’t want her to keep stopping and having to reassure her that she’s not being too rough.

Because damn, she really does love it when Tobin gets like this.

Christen pulls Tobin’s briefs down her legs as Tobin pulls her shirt over her head, tossing it to the side.

“I love you, Tobs,” Christen says sweetly, leaning in and pressing a soft kiss to Tobin’s inner thighs. “You don’t have to worry about me with anyone else,” she says softly, knowing that that’s what all of this is about.

Not that she’s really complaining.

“I only want you baby,” she says, continuing to press light kisses inside of Tobin’s thigh.

Tobin smiles softly at her, but then remembers what she’d started and what she’d planned on doing tonight and she quickly drops the smile from her face, getting back into character. She grabs Christen’s hair into a pony tail and tugs on it, making Christen’s head jerk back to look at her. “How about you use that pretty little mouth for something other than talking,” she demands, more than asks.

Christen has to clench her thighs together at the tone in Tobin’s voice, feeling herself dripping and needing to be touched. But she knows that she’s not getting touched until she gets Tobin off.

Tobin spreads her feet further apart and pulls Christen’s head towards her until she feels her mouth on her core.

And Christen wastes no time using her tongue to swipe over Tobin’s entrance a few times before starting to make gentle patterns around and just under her clit.

“Fuck, yes,” Tobin groans, tightening her grip on Christen’s hair. “Just like that baby,” she moans, her hips thrusting into Christen’s face.

Christen’s hand that isn’t helping her eat Tobin out, comes up and starts massaging Tobin’s ass, pulling her even closer to her.

After a few minutes, she feels Tobin’s breathing start to become labored and her moans get a little breathier. She pulls back to take a few breaths herself and glances up at Tobin, “Do you want me to use my fingers, baby?” She asks, before leaning down, placing a few soft kisses all around Tobin’s clit and pubic bone.

“No,” Tobin shakes her head. “Just keep going with your mouth baby,” she practically begs, her hands tugging at Christen’s hair again.

Christen just nods and goes back in, letting the flat of her tongue swipe over Tobin’s entrance a few times, before finding her clit once again.

“Oh god, yes baby,” Tobin groans, her other hand, sliding over Christen’s neck and down to her shoulder blades, her nails digging into her back. “Make me come baby,” she commands her. “You don’t get to come until I do,” she informs her.

Christen just groans, shifting and clutching her thighs together. But the comment makes her work even harder. “I’m soaked baby,” Christen husks out, her breath tickling Tobin’s clit. “God you make me so wet,” she groans. “Only you baby. Only you can get me this wet,” she says, knowing that it’ll spur Tobin on.

And by the loud groan Tobin let’s out, she knows that it’s working.

It only takes a few more minutes before Tobin is coming, her legs quivering and her grip on Christen tightening

Christen continues licking her until she feels Tobin’s body relax and then she pulls back with a grin, staring up at Tobin.

And Tobin almost comes again at the sight of Christen on her knees looking up at her with that sexy smirk on her face, and her come all over mouth and chin. “Fuck you’re so sexy baby,” she groans, yanking Christen up. She walks her back a few steps and pushes her up against the counter, making Christen groan as the small of her back hits it.

Tobin uses two of her fingers to wipe some of the wetness from Christen’s chin and then slides her fingers into Christen’s mouth. “You like that baby?” Tobin asks, as she feels Christen’s tongue swirling around her fingers, making sure to get every drop.

“You taste so good,” Christen moans, still sucking on Tobin’s fingers, even though there’s nothing left on them.

“Shit,” is all Tobin can say, as she watches her. “I’m going to fuck you so hard baby,” she groans, pulling Christen into a passionate kiss. “Can I use the strap on?” She whispers into her ear, before tugging on her earlobe with her teeth.

Christen’s whole body shivers and she feels her legs almost give out on her, “Please,” she practically begs, wrapping her arms around Tobin’s neck.

Tobin gives her a wicked grin, “Good. But first, let’s get you ready for me,” she says, huskily. “I want you to sit on my face and ride me until you’re coming,” she whispers into her ear.

“Oh god,” Christen whimpers. “Baby, now, please,” she begs. “I need you to touch me now,” she says desperately, her hand finding Tobin’s and letting her fingers run through her folds, showing her just how wet and ready she is for her.

“Jesus, you’re dripping,” Tobin groans into her shoulder. “Come on baby,” she then says, before gripping Christen’s legs and picking her up to carry her into the bedroom.

The next morning, Tobin actually wakes up on her own, before Christen’s alarm even goes off. She glances at the clock and sees that she only beat it by about 10 minutes so she decides it’s safe enough to go ahead and wake Christen up. Normally she’d just go back to sleep and try and get as much sleep as she could on a Sunday. But she’s still kind of buzzing from her shoot yesterday and she’s excited to start working on editing all of the photos.

She’s also still a little worked up from everything that she and Christen did last night and she already can’t wait to get her hands back on Christen. She’s just laying there next to her all naked and gorgeous and she really can’t help herself.

With a smile, she untangles herself from Christen and then rolls over onto her side so that she’s hovering halfway over her girlfriend. “Baby,” she coos quietly, leaning down to place soft kisses against her neck. “Baby wake up,” she says quietly, but loud enough to hopefully rouse Christen awake.

Her hands start roaming over Christen’s soft skin, her lips placing soft kisses along her jaw and neck.

Christen finally groans, her arm bending up to tangle her fingers in Tobin’s hair.

“Morning,” Tobin grins, when she feels Christen tilt her head to the side, giving her more room to work with. She also notices some dark red marks on Christen’s neck that make her wince. She loves seeing the marks on Christen but she knows that she’s going to be in trouble later.

“Morning,” Christen rasps out. “What time is it?”

“Just a few minutes before 6,” she informs her.

“Why are you up so early on a Sunday?” Christen asks curiously.

Tobin just shrugs and pulls away from Christen’s neck to look at her. “I woke up and then I just really wanted to kiss you and here we are,” she grins.

Christen chuckles and pulls Tobin’s head down to press their lips together. “Well good morning to you too,” she says, when she starts to feel Tobin’s hands wandering in more dangerous territory. However, she grabs Tobin’s hand before it can go too low, “I really don’t think I can handle anymore right now,” she practically groans.

“I’m sorry, was I too rough?” Tobin asks worriedly. It had definitely gotten a lot rougher than it ever has, and in the moment it seemed like everything was good, but now she’s kind of concerned.

“No, no. I told you that I was enjoying it, and I really...really was,” she smirks at Tobin and then bites down on her lip. “I’m just a little sore,” she informs her softly. “But I promise, it was perfect,” she assures her. “I need to get you jealous more often,” she jokes, thinking back to how hot last night had been.

Tobin gives her a glare and lets out a sound that sounds a lot like a growl.

“I’m kidding baby,” Christen coos, caressing Tobin’s cheek. “But it was really hot,” she adds with another smirk. She gives Tobin another firm kiss before she starts to climb out of bed.

Tobin doesn’t miss the wince on her face and the little limp she’s walking with. She wants to feel proud of herself, but honestly she feels a little bad that she may have caused Christen any pain. Even if it was good at the time. “You sure you’re okay?” She asks in a small voice as Christen starts to head for the bathroom.

“Yes, I’ll be fine,” she chuckles. “Just means it was a good night,” she says, sending Tobin a wink over her shoulder before disappearing in the bathroom.

Tobin just smirks and collapses back on the bed, a smile on her face.


The smile quickly drops from Tobin face and she swallows hard, knowing that tone.

She’s in trouble.

She quickly gets out of bed and rushes into the bathroom where she sees Christen inspecting to large angry marks on her neck. “Are you fucking kidding me?” She asks, whipping around to look at Tobin, “What, are you a teenager?” She questions letting out a huff.

Tobin grimaces, “I’m sorry,” she says weakly. “You know that last night got a little out of hand,” she shrugs. “ were there,” she adds.

Christen rolls her eyes and lets out another sigh, turning to inspect the marks again. “I don’t even think that makeup is going to cover this,” she says, shaking her head.

“Who cares, you are an adult, you can have adult relations,” she says, not really getting what the big deal is. “People will just know that you’re gettin’ it on,” she smirks.

“Gettin’ it on? Really, Tobin?” Christen says, giving her an unimpressed look through the mirror. “You just want people to know that I’m spoken for,” she adds, raising a brow at Tobin.

“I mean, that wouldn’t be the worst thing,” she can’t help admit, a guilty look on her face. “But really, it wasn’t intentional. It just kind of happened in the moment,” she says with a shrug.

Christen sighs and slumps her shoulders, “I know...” she says, calming down. “We were both there and we both got a little out of control,” she remembers, a spark shooting to her core, just thinking about it. “It’s fine, Tobin. I’m sorry that I got so upset,” she says, turning around to face the woman.

“It’s okay,” Tobin says, stepping closer to Christen. “I’ll be more careful in the future,” she assures her. “But you don’t have to go anywhere until tomorrow. We will ice it and...oh! We can do that whole cold spoon trick,” she says, remembering hearing that from somewhere.

“Tobin that doesn’t actually work,” she says, rolling her eyes. “But you’re right, hopefully it’ll be faded enough to cover up with makeup by tomorrow,” she says. “If not, like you said, I’m an adult and I shouldn’t be ashamed,” she says, trying to sound a lot more confident than she feels about it.

“Exactly. Just strut around the office with your head held high and that whole ‘don’t fuck with me’ look on your face and nobody will dare say anything to you,” Tobin says with a smile, reaching out and pulling Christen closer to her.

“People don’t really talk to me anyway,” she laughs. “Pretty sure they are all scared of me, so you’re right,” she says, putting her hands on Tobin’s chest as Tobin wraps her arms around her waist.

“They’re not afraid of you,” Tobin tries to tell her, but Christen gives her a look, letting her know that she doesn’t believe her. “They all respect you and really admire you,” she says honestly.

“That doesn’t mean they aren’t afraid of me,” she retorts. “But, it’s my own fault anyway,” she sighs. “I’ve just tried so hard pushing people away. I acted this way on purpose because I didn’t want people thinking they could talk to me or become friends with me. Except for work stuff of course,” she explains. “I just wanted them to see me as their boss and not a friend,” she adds with a shrug. “Plus, at the time my thought process was that having friends was weakness and that they could take advantage or me or take everything away from me if they didn’t fear me,” she says with a wince.

“And now?” Tobin asks, sensing that isn’t how she feels anymore.

“I don’t believe that,” she admits. “But, it’s too late now,” she shrugs. “Plus, things are good at work, and I’m good, no need to try and change things now,” she shrugs.

“It’s never too late to change things,” Tobin assures her. “I mean, look at Ashlyn and Ali, I think it’s safe to say that you’re becoming friends with them,” she says with a knowing smile.

Christen purses her lips together, “Yeah I guess so,” she admits.

“And, I’m not saying you have to go and act like everyone’s best friend, but I don’t think it’ll hurt to start being a little more friendly. Maybe just ask people how their day is or take an interest in their life,” Tobin shrugs. “Like I’ve said before, I think it could really help morale too,” she says.

Christen sighs and gives Tobin a little glare, “I guess you’re right,” she says, hating to admit it.

Tobin just smirks triumphantly. “Wow, that felt good. Say it again,” she says playfully.

Christen just laughs and shakes her head, “No way. You’re lucky I said it the one time,” she informs her.

Tobin just grins and leans in, kissing Christen. “So, what do you have planned for the day?” She asks curiously, pulling away so that Christen can go back to her normal morning skincare routine.

“Well, I was going to go into the office, since I didn’t go in yesterday but I’m not going anywhere with this,” she says, pointing to the marks on her neck.

Tobin just chuckles and wraps her arms around Christen from behind, watching her rub some kind of moisturizer on her face. “I’m sorry again,” she says, kissing Christen’s neck, but frowning when she tastes the moisturizer in her mouth. “But, it’s really not that bad, and there won’t really be anyone there on Sunday anyway,” she explains to her.

Christen just looks at her through the mirror, “You’re actually trying to convince me to go into the office?” She asks, confused, because normally Tobin begs her to stay home with her. “Do you want me gone or something?” She asks, jokingly, though also a little concerned about it.

“No way,” Tobin assures her. “But I’m going to be editing photos for most of the day and I also am just trying to be helpful and make you feel better about the marks,” she explains to her.

“Okay, I may go in for a bit, then,” Christen agrees. “But I definitely need to do some light yoga and take some ibuprofen before I do much of anything else,” she chuckles.

Tobin just smirks, and buries her face in Christen’s neck, not even caring how strong her skincare products smell. “I’m kind of proud of myself,” she admits. “You’re going to be feeling me all day,” she whispers into Christen’s skin. “And thinking about how good I made you feel,” she adds, sending shivers up Christen’s spine.

Christen closes her eyes and leans back into Tobin’s hold, relishing in the feeling of her arms around her and thinking back to last night. But before she can get too worked up, she opens her eyes again, “Okay, don’t get me turned on again. I really can’t handle more right now,” she groans.

Tobin just chuckles. “I don’t even have to try to get you worked up,” she informs her, in a low sexy voice.

“Shit,” Christen groans, knowing that Tobin is right, and definitely feeling herself getting worked up again. “Okay, seriously, get out of here,” she laughs, pulling herself out of Tobin’s hold and shooing the girl out of the bathroom.

Tobin just laughs loudly but backs away from her, stopping at the doorway. “Finish up your morning routine and I’ll make some coffee and run a bath for you,” she offers.

“Sounds perfect,” Christen says, giving Tobin a soft smile through the mirror.


“Alright, I’m about to head out,” Christen says, grabbing her purse from the foyer table and looking over to Tobin who is sitting at the kitchen bar on her laptop. “Baby, do you want to use my office?” She asks, walking over to the woman, and running a hand along her back. “You can use my desktop, it’d probably be a lot easier,” she offers.

Tobin considers it for a moment, and thinks about how sore her back is probably going to be, sitting on this stool, hunched over her little laptop all day. Not to mention, having a bigger screen to work with. “You probably don’t have photoshop,” she says with a frown.

“I do,” Christen nods. “I don’t really use it, but I’ve had to, here and there for little things,” she shrugs. “Plus, I bought it to put on all the computers at the office so I just added it to mine in case,” she shrugs.

“Are you sure you don’t mind me being at your desk and using your computer?” She asks, a bit skeptically.

“Of course not,” Christen assures her, rubbing her back, gently. “What’s mine is yours,” she says, kissing Tobin’s cheek.

“Okay, that’d be great, thank you,” she says with a smile. “I promise I won’t go through all your files or anything,” she then adds playfully.

Christen just chuckles, shaking her head. “You won’t find anything interesting, I promise,” she informs her. “Just don’t watch porn or give me a virus or something,” she adds with a smirk.

“Why would I need to watch porn when I have you?” Tobin asks with a grin. “Believe me, imagining what we do together is way hotter than porn,” she adds, seriously.

Christen blushes and rolls her eyes at her girlfriend, trying to hide her embarrassment. “Okayyy...come on. Let’s get you all set up,” she says pulling Tobin off the bar stool.

Tobin just giggles at her embarrassment and quickly manages to grab her laptop before Christen can drag her further.


Christen walks into the office, subconsciously rubbing at her neck. She’d covered it as best as she could with makeup but there’s only so much makeup you can put on and it was starting to get cakey and blotchy.

When she gets onto their floor, she sees Pinoe across the room on her computer, but the rest of the office seems to be empty. At least it’s only one person, but of course it has to be Megan Rapinoe of all people. She’s probably the person who would give her the most shit about having hickey’s. And she’s also been dropping hints and being kind of nosy about her and Tobin.

She sighs and heads towards her office, “Hey, P,” she greets, trying to look like she’s busy so that maybe the woman won’t come and bother her. But she knows that she had to at least greet her otherwise Pinoe would definitely come over to her.

“Hey boss,” she greets back with a grin. “Wasn’t expecting to see you today,” she comments.

“I’m here pretty much every day, doesn’t matter if it’s a weekend,” she informs her with a small shrug. “Lot’s to do,” she adds.

“Yeah, I know,” Pinoe nods. “I just haven’t seen you in on the weekends as much,” she says honestly. “Now that you’ve got yourself a hot girlfriend,” she adds with a wink.

Christen’s eyes widen and she spins around to look at Pinoe. Of course she expected this. But it always makes her heart race a little when she brings up the fact that she’s dating Tobin. She’s knows that she’s probably on to them and she really doesn’t want to be questioned about it.

“Relax, I’m not going to ask you who she is or pry,” she assures her. “I’m just happy you’re getting some action,” she says, winking again. “Looks like it’s some good action too,” she adds, looking down to Christen’s neck.

Christen feels her face turn bright red and her hand immediately comes up to cover the mark, even though there’s no point now. “I uh—-I’ve got to get to work,” she stammers, before practically running into her office to hide behind her computer.

So much for holding her head up high and having confidence.

She rolls her eyes at herself and presses the power button on her computer waiting for it to power up. As she’s waiting, she glances around her desk and an envelope catches her eye. She picks it up and sees her name scrawled across the front, in the same font that the last letter had been written in.

Her heart starts racing in her chest and suddenly she feels like she’s going to pass out.

She’d almost forgotten about the note by now. It seemed like it was a one time thing and she’d started to get over it.

But of course it wasn’t the end.

“Fuck,” she curses fiddling with the envelope in her hands, trying to decide what to do.

She quickly grabs her bag and walks out of her office, glancing over at Pinoe. “Have you seen anyone else in the office today?” She asks her, trying to sound as calm and casual as she can, but she knows that she’s not going to good job.

She sounds completely panicked.

Because she is.

“Uh no, not that I’ve seen,” Pinoe shakes her head. “What’s wrong?” She asks, growing concerned at Christen’s demeanor.

“Uh, nothing,” Christen shakes her head. “I just...I have to go,” she says quickly, before heading towards the elevators.

“Wait, Christen,” Pinoe says, jumping out of her chair and running after Christen, catching her arm. “Are you alright?” She asks, though she can clearly see that the answer is no. “What’s going on?”

Christen swallows and tries really hard to will the tears away from her eyes. “It’s nothing, really. I just...I need to go,” she says, not knowing what to say, or having the headspace to even try and come up with another excuse as to why she’d be acting this way.

“What’s that?” Megan asks, pointing to the large envelope in Christen’s hand.

“It’s nothing,” Christen lies, stuffing it in her purse. “I’ll see you tomorrow. I just...I forgot I had something important to do today,” she lies, finally coming up with at least a weak excuse.

Megan just nods, though she’s not convinced. “Alright,” she says, knowing better than to get too involved or pushy. “Just let me know if you need anything, alright?” She says, in a kind voice.

“Thanks,” Christen says, giving her a small smile, before rushing to the elevator.


Christen rushes into her condo, the door slamming behind her and she walks into the kitchen, throwing her bag on top of the bar. She heads over to her liquor cabinet and pulls out a bottle of scotch, needing a drink right now, no matter how early it still is.

But at least it’s almost noon.

Tobin emerges from the hallway, hearing all the commotion and looks at her girlfriend confused. “Hey, what’s going on?” She asks, and then notices Christen pouring herself a glass of scotch.

Now she really knows that something is wrong.

“Hey, hold on,” Tobin says, grabbing the bottle before Christen can pour it. “Talk to me, what happened?” She asks, gently, bringing her hand up to caress Chrsiten’s cheek.

Christen takes in a shaky breath, and squeezes her eyes shut, trying to hold in her tears. “I...I got another letter,” she says quietly.

Tobin’s eyes widen, “What?” She asks, finding herself at a loss of words as well.

“It was sitting on my desk when I got there,” she tells her.

“What did it say?” Tobin asks nervously.

Christen shakes her head and glances over at her bag, “I don’t know. I haven’t looked at it,” she admits. “I don’t want to,” she adds fearfully.

Tobin nods and runs her thumb along Christen’s cheek, trying to give her some comfort. Honestly, she’s stressing out about the situation as well, but she knows that she’s got to try and hold it together for Christen.

They can’t both fall apart.

“Do you want me to look at it?” She asks softly.

Christen just sighs and rests her elbows on the bar top and buries her face in her hands. “I just want to act like it’s not even there,” she admits. “I don’t want to know what is inside or what it could mean, or what could happen from here,” she says, starting to spiral.

“Okay, hey,” Tobin says gently, lifting Christen’s chin so that she looks at her. “I know this is scary but we have to look. Whatever it is, we will get through it together, alright?” She says, trying to sound as confident as she can.

Christen swallows and looks at the bag once again and then back at Tobin. “I know, you’re right,” she says, defeated. “It’s in my bag,” she says, nodding her head towards it.

Tobin just nods and slides her bag across the bar, before reaching in and pulling out the envelope. “This isn’t just a note,” she informs her. It’s one of the big Manila folders and feels a lot heavier than just a note.

“I know,” Christen agrees. She really has no idea what it could be or what they have to give her.

It’s terrifying.

“Pinoe was the only one in the office and she said that she hadn’t seen anyone else in there. But it could have been left yesterday or over night. I don’t know,” she sighs, feeling at a loss.

Tobin looks at her for a moment, “And you don’t think that Pinoe left it?” She questions. She’s always liked the woman and she really doesn’t think she’d do anything this mean to them, but you never really know people. And she has definitely dropped hints about knowing that the two of them are together.

“I mean, it could have been,” Christen sighs, letting her hands fall onto the bar. “But, she seemed pretty concerned about me when I was trying to rush out of there. And I don’t know, she’s always been so kind...I just...I don’t think she would but I guess you never really know what people are capable of,” she says quietly.

Tobin just nods in agreement. But she knows that there’s really no point in trying to figure it out right now. They need to just open it and see what’s inside. “Okay, I’m going to open it,” Tobin announces before tearing the top of it off and carefully pulling out the contents inside. It’s a bunch of paperwork and documents and Tobin just furrows her brows, not really knowing what any of it means. “What is this?” She asks, confused.

Christen takes the papers from her and looks over them for a moment, her face turning pale. “Oh god.”

“Christen?” Tobin asks confused. She looks over some of it again but it’s not really making any sense to her. “Are these like bank forms and stuff?” She asks, only picking up on a few payment transactions with Christen’s name.

Christen swallows hard and grabs the bottle of scotch back from Tobin and pours herself a glass before downing it. She definitely doesn’t care what time it is now.

“Oh look, here’s an actual note,” Tobin then says, showing her the piece of paper that had been folded up in the bottom as well. “Who is Jill Ellis?” She asks confused.

Christen’s eyes widen and she snatches the note out of Tobin’s hand, looking at it herself. “That bitch,” she mumbles with wide eyes.

“Who is she?” Tobin asks, feeling frustrated that Christen is clearly upset and she has no idea why.

“She runs the magazine a few floors down from us,” Christen explains to her.

“Oh,” Tobin says with furrowed brows. “That super right winged one? They’re worse than Fox News,” she says, crinkling her nose. “Why is she sending you this stuff? And what is it?”

“Tobin,” Christen sighs, not really knowing how to explain all of this to her. Nor does she want to. She never wanted to have to think about this again, and she definitely doesn’t want Tobin to know about it. It’s probably the thing she’s most ashamed of in her entire life.

“Does this have something to do with us?” Tobin asks, trying to piece it all together.

Christen just pours herself another scotch and shakes her head. “No,” she tells her. “After all of that worrying and trying to figure out who knows about us, this whole thing actually has nothing to do with you,” she says in a tone that Tobin’s never really heard from her. She sounds a mixture of angry, sad and also just empty.

It’s kind of frightening.

“Okay, so what is it about?” She asks, growing more and more curious as to what is going on.

She’s relieved that nobody is trying to out them or blackmail them, but Christen is still upset and it almost seems like this could be something worse.

“I-....Tobin, this is going to ruin me,” Christen says, before letting a sob rip through her throat.

Tobin furrows her brows but pulls Christen into her, hugging her close and trying to give her some comfort. She really wants to know what the hell is going on, but right now she knows that comforting Christen is more important. “What does she have on you, Chris?” Tobin asks carefully. She couldn’t really imagine Christen ever doing anything that would be illegal or blackmail worthy. “You can tell me anything, baby,” she adds softly.

Christen composes herself and pulls away from Tobin, wiping away the tears. She grabs her glass of scotch and the bottle and moves into the living room, sitting down on the couch, “Not this,” she shakes her head. “It’s horrible.”

“Okay, you’re kind of freaking me out,” Tobin admits, following Christen into the living room. She sits down on the couch, next to her and puts a hand on her thigh. “But yes, Chris even this,” she assures her. “I don’t care how bad it is. You can tell me that you murdered someone and I’ll still love you,” she assures her, making Christen look over at her. “You didn’t...murder someone...did you?”

Christen, surprisingly lets out a chuckle and shakes her head, “No, Tobin,” she confirms, and Tobin lets out a breath of relief.

“Okay, then it’s already not the worst thing that I was thinking,” she says, trying to lighten the mood and make Christen a little more comfortable. “Just tell me so that I can try and help you,” she says softly.

Christen takes another sip of her scotch and then sits it down on the coffee table. She looks down at her lap, trying to compose herself and get her thoughts together. Also mentally prepare herself to tell Tobin what had been in those documents. “I uh...they’re documents showing donations made in my name from a long time ago,” she starts to explain, quietly.

“Donations? How could that be a bad thing?” Tobin asks confused.

Christen feels a wave of guilt wash over her and she takes in a shaky breath, trying not to start crying again. “Tobin they were donations given to anti-lgbt groups and churches and other organizations fighting against gay rights. One of them was even... a conversion camp...” she admits, tears streaming down her face. She shakes her head, looking down at her lap, not even being able to look at Tobin.

She’s such a shitty person.

“Wait, what?” Tobin asks confused.

“I told you it was bad,” Christen says, defeated. She grabs her glass of scotch and downs the rest of it. She can feel Tobin’s eyes on her but she can’t look over at her. She can’t see the disgusted look she’s probably giving her or the judgment in her eyes. Instead, she just pours herself another scotch.

“Those numbers looked pretty big,” is all Tobin can say.

Christen lets out a self deprecating laugh, “Yeah it was a lot of money,” she confirms.

“Okay, hold on,” Tobin says, trying to wrap her mind around this. “Christen why would you donate to groups like that?” She asks, trying to make sense of all of this. “Will you please look at me,” she requests, noticing that Christen hasn’t made eye contact with her since they moved to the couch.

Christen just shakes her head, unable to give in to the request. “It wasn’t technically my money,” she says quietly. “It was my exes,” she explains. “He...well, he knew that I was gay and like I’ve told you, he was very unhappy about that and he was constantly telling me how wrong I was and how sick being gay was,” she further explains, but stops for a second to try and compose herself, the tears getting too overwhelming for her to speak.

Tobin reaches over for Christen’s hand, but Christen pulls away from her, which makes Tobin frown.

“He always talked about those groups and how we needed to support them and he made me go to meetings and gatherings that they would have,” she says, practically sobbing now. “He donated the money but he made me sign it and put it in my name because he said that I should support them and that they were going to help me and help others like me,” she cries, burying her face in her hands.

This whole thing is bringing up a lot of emotions that she hasn’t had to face in a long time.

Taking her back to that dark time in her life.

Tobin scoots closer to Christen on the couch and pulls her into her arms, just squeezing tighter when she feels Christen trying to pull away from her. “Christen it’s okay,” she coos softly, into her hair.

“No it’s not. I’m horrible. Those places did terrible things to people like me and you and they continue to do terrible things and I played a part in it,” she cries. “I practically funded the entire thing,” she says, defeated.

“No, you didn’t,” Tobin says firmly, tears forming in her own eyes. “He did it, Christen. He is a piece of shit and he did this to you. You did nothing wrong,” she tries to assure her. “He abused you and manipulated you and it’s not your fault,” she says firmly.

Tobin pulls away after a moment, and pulls Christen’s chin up, making her look at her. “Hey, I love you, Christen,” she says, determined. “You are one of the kindest people that I know and you do so much to help the queer community and I don’t want you to forget about that. You didn’t do this, and I need you to believe that,” she says, seriously.

Christen just sighs and pulls herself away from Tobin, standing up off the couch. “It doesn’t matter regardless,” she says, still not being able to admit that Tobin is right, and deflecting a bit.

“What do you mean it doesn’t matter?” Tobin asks, standing up, and walking over to Christen. Though, she doesn't reach out to her because she can tell that Christen really doesn’t want to be touched right now.

And it’s hard, because all she wants to do is pull Christen into her arms and just hide her away from this terrible world.

“It doesn’t matter, because she’s going to release these documents that have my signatures on them and all of my information and that is what people will see,” she says, growing a little angry. And she knows she shouldn’t lash out at Tobin, but she’s having a hard time controlling her emotions right now. “She’s always hated how liberal my magazine is and she’s made that very clear, but I never thought she’d stoop this low,” she says, shaking her head. “I never thought she’d actually try and ruin everything and shut us down,” she practically growls.

“Hey, this isn’t going to ruin everything,” Tobin tries to assure her.

“Yes it will!” Christen yells. “My entire brand has been about supporting the queer community and calling out all the groups who hate on us. They’re going to see this and think that I’m a liar and a hypocrite! Nobody is going to want anything to do with us anymore,” she says, shaking her head. “Fuck, and I thought you and I coming out was going to be an issue...” she says with a bitter laugh. “That seems completely meaningless now.”

That hurts Tobin a little.

But she knows what she means. It’s a pretty insignificant problem compared to this. And they’d been so worked up about what they were going to do because they’d been so sure that someone know about the two of them and were trying to out them.

They definitely hadn’t seen anything like this coming.

“I honestly had mostly forgotten about this,” she sighs, walking over to the window, looking down at the city. “I just...I wanted to forget everything that he did to me or put me through...I thought it was all in the past,” she sighs. “God, I’m such an idiot,” she groans.

“Hey, you’re not an idiot,” Tobin tries to reason. “You didn’t know this would happen.”

“Yeah, but I should have known that it could. I should have tried to get rid of all those statements or anything that could trace this back to me. I should have known that someone could pretty easily find those documents and use it against me.” She explains, frustrated with herself.

“There’s no way that you could have gotten rid of those files. I mean I doubt those groups would have trashed them or you,” Tobin tells her. “There’s nothing that you could have done,” she says, hoping to make her feel a little better. Or at least try and take some guilt off of her.

“Fuck, I’ve got to call Lauren,” she says, running a hand through her hair.

She walks over to the bar and grabs her phone out of her bag, Tobin following behind her. “Who is Lauren?” She asks curiously, and not really sure what this person could do. She’s never even heard of her.

“She’s our publicist,” Christen says, distractedly, scrolling through her phone, trying to find Lauren’s number.

Tobin walks up behind Christen and carefully takes the phone out of her hand. “Maybe you can just take a second to calm down,” she advises. “And you’ve been drinking,” she adds. She knows that Christen isn’t wasted but she’s probably feeling a buzz considering she downed two large poured glasses of scotch and is working on a third within a couple of minutes.

“Tobin,” Christen practically growls. “I’m not drunk and I don’t have time to calm down or think about this,” she spits out. “I have no idea when Jill is planning on putting this out there and I need to be prepared and know what to do,” she explains through gritted teeth.

“I know, I’m just trying to help,” Tobin says softly, not wanting Christen to lash out at her but knowing it’s probably not for the best that she calls her publicist right now. “I just think you should take a breath,” she adds, hoping that Christen doesn’t get even more angry with her and yell at her again.

Surprisingly, Christen does the opposite and steps towards Tobin, collapsing into her arms, a fresh wave of tears streaming down her face. She opens her mouth to say something but a sob rips through her throat and she gets choked up.

“It’s okay,” Tobin soothes her, running her fingers through Christen’s hair. “I’ve got you.”

“Tobin,” she finally croaks out pathetically, gripping the back of Tobin’s T-shit.

“I know baby,” Tobin coos. “It’s okay, it’s going to be okay,” she all she can whisper, though she’s really not sure if that’s true.

“I’m going to lose everything,” she whimpers into Tobin’s chest.

Tobin tightens her hold on Christen and presses her cheek against Christen’s temple. “No, I won’t let that happen. We’re going to figure it out,” she says, determined.

Christen just buries her face deeper into Tobin, not really believing her, but needing to at least feel her comfort.


Christen ends up wearing herself out by all the crying and probably the scotch. She falls asleep after awhile in Tobin’s arms on the couch. And Tobin really needs to keep working on her photos because she’s on a timeline, but there’s no way in hell that she’s leaving Christen right now.

This definitely trumps her job.

Even if it means Sam won’t hire her again.

She ends up napping for about an hour and then starts to stir in Tobin’s arms. “Hey baby,” Tobin greets softly, brushing some hair out of Christen’s face.

Christen sits up and looks around the room, feeling a little dazed and confused. But it only takes a couple of seconds for everything to come crashing down on her once again and she slumps back against the couch. “This wasn’t all just a bad dream was it?” She asks, quietly.

Tobin just solemnly shakes her head. “No, baby,” she says, even though she wishes that it were.

Christen rubs her hands over her face and lets out a heavy sigh. “You know, the worst part about this isn’t even losing everything that I’ve worked for,” she starts to say quietly. “It’s that I’m losing it because of him. He’s still ruining my life,” she shakes her head with defeat. “I don’t think I’ll ever get rid of him. I don’t know why I thought that I could.”

“Hey, that’s not true,” Tobin tries to tell her, reaching out for Christen’s hand. “We’re going to figure this out,” she says, though she still hasn’t come up with anything. And boy did she try. It’s all she thought about for the entire hour that Christen was sleeping. “Do you think you should call Lauren now? Or do you want to take a little bit more time to digest everything?” She asks, just trying to be helpful.

“I need to call her,” Christen sighs. “I need to get this all sorted and I am going to need her,” she explains, truthfully. “I just...this means that I have to tell her about him,” she says anxiously. “I don’t like....I’ve never talked about him with anyone, except you,” she says, turning to look at Tobin. “Even my family. I mean, I told them a few things...just enough to where they knew he was abusing me, but I never even told them about some of the details that I’ve told you,” she explains to her.

Tobin gives her a little smile and places a kiss to the back of Christen’s hand. “And I am very grateful that you trust me enough to talk to me about it,” she says sincerely. “But you don’t have to tell her everything. You can just tell her the main points so that she understands what is going on,” she explains to her. “And, I’ll be here with you,” she assures her.

Christen bites her lip and wants to say that Tobin probably shouldn’t be here because she doesn’t need Lauren dealing with another PR nightmare while they are sorting this one out, but there’s no way that she can do this without Tobin. Plus, she’s not sure if Lauren has even met Tobin or knows that she works for her.

“Thank you for being here,” Christen says sincerely. “I don’t know what I would have done if I had been alone in all of this,” she admits.

“Well, that doesn’t matter. I’m here with you and I’m not going anywhere,” she assures her. “I love you so much baby and I hate that this is happening to you, but I also know how strong you are and after everything you’ve been can get through this too. I know it,” she says confidently.

Christen just gives Tobin the best smile that she can muster up. She’s not quite sure that she believes Tobin but she doesn’t have the energy to argue about it. She’s been fighting and overcoming for a decade now and honestly she’s exhausted. She doesn’t know if she has much more fight left in her.

But she’s not going to tell Tobin that.

She’s just going to push through and try to be the person that Tobin thinks she is.

She gets up off the couch and sits down at the bar, grabbing her phone and searching for Lauren’s number. She takes in a deep breath and calls her before she can change her mind. She knows how difficult all of this is going to be. Not even just talking about her ex but trying to figure out how to navigate all of this and what to do next.

But she has to do it.

She taps impatiently on the counter as she waits for Lauren to answer. She knows that she probably shouldn’t be calling her on a Sunday afternoon, but this really can’t wait. She watches as Tobin maneuver’s around the kitchen, filling up her tea kettle with water and heating it up.

She gives Tobin an appreciative smile, but before she can say anything to her, Lauren answers.

“Hey, Lauren,” Christen says, trying to sound calm, but she knows that her voice is quivering. “I’m sorry to bother you on a Sunday, I’m sure that you’re with your family-

“Christen what’s wrong?” Lauren asks, her voice full of concern and not annoyance like Christen had expected.

Christen just takes in another breath, “Something has happened’s bad. I’m going to need your help,” she says vaguely.

“Okay, do you want to meet at the office? Or I can come by your place-

“Uh...shit, you know what? This can wait until tomorrow. I don’t want to pull you away from your family on a Sunday-

“Christen, I’m coming over,” she says with finality. “We weren’t up to much anyway and to be honest you sound terrible and I’m really worried about you,” she tells her.

Christen smiles softly. She wouldn’t consider Lauren a best friend or anything but they do have some sort of a relationship outside of her just working for Christen. She’s always been so kind to her and seems to genuinely care about her outside of getting paid to keep her image looking good. “Okay, I can text you my address,” Christen says softly. “Thanks you, Lauren,” she says sincerely.

She hangs up the phone and then looks up at Tobin who is pouring the hot water into a mug with a tea bag sticking out of it. She carries it over to Christen, blowing on it gently and Christen can’t help but smile at her.

Even with everything that is going on, just seeing the way that Tobin loves her and takes care of her, makes her smile.

“Thank you baby,” she says softly when Tobin slides the mug over to her.

Tobin walks around the bar and places a kiss on the top of Christen’s head before sitting down next to her. “What did Lauren say?” She asks softly, reaching out to play with a strand of Christen’s hair.

“She’s coming over,” Christen says, and then remembers to quickly text Lauren her address. She’s pretty sure she has a record of where Christen lives, but this is probably easier.

Tobin grabs Christen’s hand, lacing their fingers together, “I’m here,” she tells her soothingly.

Christen nods and gives Tobin an appreciative smile before taking a sip of her tea.

“How far does she live?” Tobin asks curiously.

“I don’t know exactly but probably about half an hour. She lives in the suburbs because she has kids,” she informs her.

“Okay,” Tobin nods, just wanting an idea of how long they’ll be waiting. “Are you hungry? Do you want me to make us some lunch?” Tobin asks curiously.

“I don’t think we have many groceries,” Christen shrugs. “Most of the produce went bad and I threw it out,” she tells her.

Tobin frowns, “That didn’t take long.”

Christen can’t help but giggle at the adorable little pout on Tobin’s face. “Baby, fresh food doesn’t last very long. Also another reason as to why cooking at home is annoying. You have to go get groceries at least once a week if not more than that,” she grumbles.

Tobin just lets out a humph. She gets off the bar stool and walks around the kitchen, checking cabinets to see what they have left. “There’s some pasta,” she suggests. “I think you bought a pesto sauce or something,” she tries to remember, searching through the cabinets.

“Baby, I really don’t want pasta,” Christen grimaces, not really feeling like eating such a heavy meal. She’s honestly not feeling that hungry at all, but she knows that it’s just the nerves and that she needs something in her body. She just can’t do anything that heavy.

“Okay,” Tobin nods. “Well, we could just order something and get something for Lauren in case she’s hungry as well,” Tobin shrugs.

“Yeah, okay,” Christen nods, not really caring what they do or up for even having a conversation about it. “Just get whatever you want and pick something that you think I’d like,” she says softly, going back to sipping on her tea, hoping that it will help calm her slightly.

“Okay, what about Lauren? Any idea what she eats?” Tobin asks curiously.

“I don’t know,” Christen sighs.

Tobin can tell that Christen is tired and on edge and she knows that she needs to stop asking her so many questions. But she’s also anxious and fussing is kind of her way of dealing.

But it’s definitely not helping Christen.

So she just pulls up the app on her phone and picks a few different things that are pretty neutral and Christen and Lauren can choose whichever they want and she’ll just eat whatever is left.

When she’s done ordering, she looks back over at Christen to see her spreading out all of the documents across the bar, her hands shaking as she sorts everything. Tobin just sighs softly, wishing there was actually something she could do. She feels completely helpless.

“Hey do you think that you should call, Tyler?” Tobin asks carefully, not wanting to further upset her girlfriend.

Christen furrows her brows, “No,” she shakes her head. “I don’t want her to worry about this,” she explains, as if it were obvious and she doesn’t even now why Tobin would ask such a thing.

“First of all, she’s your sister and she deserves to know. This isn’t some sort of burden. She cares about you and wants to be able to help. Plus, you would want to know if something like this was happening to her,” Tobin explains reasonably. “And second of all, I meant more so as a lawyer,” she adds with a small shrug. “Maybe there’s something she could do or somehow prevent Jill from using this stuff,” she says, though she has no clue if anything could be done.

“We have company lawyers, Tobin,” Christen sighs, not wanting to involve her sister, even though Tobin is right.

“Well yeah, but wouldn’t you rather talk to Tyler about this than Servando and a bunch of other men?” She questions.

“There’s some women on the legal team,” she argues weakly.

“Yeah, but Tyler already knows about your ex and you wouldn’t have to explain it all again to a bunch of strangers,” she reasons.

Christen sighs and glances up at Tobin, “She doesn’t know that many details,” she says quietly. “She definitely doesn’t know about this,” she adds.

Tobin nods and steps up to the bar, across from Christen and reaches out, taking her hand. “I’m not trying to upset you or force you to do anything that you don’t want to do, I’m just saying that she’d want to be here for you and also, I think you’d be more comfortable discussing this with her than your legal team at work,” she says, hoping to convince Christen.

And Christen sighs in defeat, knowing she can’t argue, “You’re right but I’ll call her later,” she bargains. “Lauren is on her way and I really can’t deal with Tyler right now,” she sighs, shaking her head. “She’s going to want to drop everything and come over and she’s going to ask a million questions and I just...I can’t, right now,” she sighs.

“Okay, fair enough,” Tobin says, backing off of the conversation. “I’m going to go and pick up the rest of my equipment so it’s not crowding the foyer when Lauren gets here,” she tells her softly.

Her equipment had definitely gotten forgotten about when they got home last night and she knows she should have picked it up before now, but she’d been busy. Though, she did promise that she’d have in cleaned up when Christen got home. But it’s not her fault that Christen was barely gone an hour. However, she knows that it’ll make Christen feel even just a tiny bit better, knowing the place is cleaned up for a guest.

She walks around the bar and kisses Christen’s temple, “I love you,” she says quietly before going to pick up her things.


Christen opens the door for Lauren to walk inside, and she tries as best as she can to muster up a smile. “Thank you for coming,” she says softly, leading the woman into the condo and in the kitchen. “Uh, this is Tobin,” she introduces her girlfriend who is sitting at the bar. “Tobin, this is Lauren Holiday.”

“Oh hi, nice to meet you,” Tobin smiles, standing up to shake Lauren’s hand.

“Nice to meet you as well,” Lauren says and then gives Tobin a look. “Have we met before?” She questions, looking at Tobin curiously.

“, I don’t think so,” Tobin shakes her head, and then glances over at Christen. She’s definitely never been formally introduced to the woman, but she does think that she’s seen her in the building a few times. But Lauren wouldn’t possibly remember some random assistant that she never actually met, right?

“She works at the magazine,” Christen says, surprising everyone in the room. “She’s Ashlyn’s assistant,” she adds with an indescribable look. Honestly she doesn’t even care about hiding their relationship anymore. She’s tired and she’s stressed and she has bigger things to worry about then trying to make some cover up story for Lauren recognizing Tobin.

She just really doesn’t care anymore.

“Oh, right,” Lauren says, and then gives Christen a look.

Christen just sighs and rolls her eyes, sitting down on the sofa. “Yes, I know it’s a whole PR nightmare,” she confirms, still not having the energy to even act like she should be concerned. “But we have bigger things to worry about,” she informs the woman.

Tobin is a little caught off guard by Christen’s casual attitude about their relationship. She’s been stressing about it for months now and all of a sudden she’s just throwing it out there like it’s no big deal.

And she can hear the tone in her voice. She’s exhausted and basically void of any emotion.

She’s reached her breaking point.

And that thought is more than a little concerning for Tobin.

Tobin gives Lauren an awkward smile and the woman looks like she wants to say more, but she doesn’t. She simply puts her bag on the table and then looks back over to Christen. “Okay so what exactly is the issue?” She questions curiously.

Christen’s jaw clenches and she glances over at Tobin who gives her a comforting smile and a little nod. “Come sit,” Christen invites Lauren. “I need to tell you some things first,” she says softly. “And uh...this isn’t easy for me to talk about,” she warns Lauren.

Tobin walks into the living room as well and sits down next to Christen, ready to be there for her if she needs her. And when Christen grabs her hand, Tobin clasps it with both of her own hands, and gives her a comforting squeeze.


By the end of their conversation about Christen’s ex and some of the abuse that he put her through, it’s safe to say that nobody in the room has dry eyes. Tobin’s got her arm around Christen, trying to provide her with as much comfort as she can. And Lauren has moved to sit on the coffee table across from Christen, her hand reached out, clasped with Christen’s.

“Christen I had no idea that you had been through all of that,” Lauren shakes her head, bringing her free hand up to wipe away a stray tear. “I am so sorry,” she says firmly.

“It’s okay,” Christen shakes her head. “You don’t have anything to be sorry for. I didn’t tell you this for pity or anything like that,” she assures her. “Actually I want the complete opposite of that. I...I honestly didn’t want to have to tell you any of this, but you needed to know, for what I’m about to tell you,” she explains to her.

Lauren just nods, but looks a little confused. “Okay, what’s going on?”

Christen sniffles and glances back at Tobin who gives her a small smile and leans in kissing her cheek softly, just wanting her to know she’s here and she loves her.

Christen takes in a deep breath and gets up off the couch, walking over to the bar and gathering up all of the documents that she had received. She walks back over and hands them to Lauren, letting her have a look for herself.

Christen and Tobin both wait a bit impatiently as Lauren skims everything over, trying to make sense of it all.

“Is this...?”

Christen just nods, knowing that Lauren understands it and knows exactly what it is. “Someone sent me those copies and they’re going to publish them,” Christen says quietly. “Well, not just someone, Jill Ellis,” she says with gritted teeth. “She wants my magazine shut down,” she informs her.

Lauren just furrows her brows, “Okay so...tell me how this happened. What was going on? Were you trying to deny your sexuality? Were your parents not supportive? You’ve got to give me more information so we can figure out how to play this,” she says, trying to keep a level head.

But this definitely doesn’t look good.

“No, no, it was nothing like that. It definitely wasn’t my family,” Christen says, wanting to make sure that it completely understood. They’ve been the most supportive people in her life.

Besides Tobin.

“It was my ex. Like I told you, he knew that I was gay and he did everything in his power to try and change me or convince me that it was wrong. It was his money but he put everything in my name and forced me to sign everything because he said it would be good for me and that those places wouldn’t help me and I needed to help them and support them so that they can help me and others like me,” Christen explains, feeling completely exhausted over all of this and tired of having to keep talking about him and that dark period in her life.

But she knows that this is nowhere near the end and she’s probably going to have to think about it and talk about it a lot more in the next few weeks.

“That’s fucking sick,” Lauren says, angrily. But then she closes her eyes and takes a breath, realizing that being angry right now isn’t going to help anyone and definitely not Christen who is probably feeling pretty vulnerable right now.

“Yeah, well regardless of how sick he is and how fucked up it all was, she’s going to publish this and it’s going to look like it was me. Nobody knows about him and it’s just going to look like I’m a hypocrite.” She says sadly. “I don’t even know how or...if there’s even a way to fix this,” she says brokenly.

“Okay, so it was his money though right? So was it from his bank account?” Lauren asks, hopefully. “I mean, it has to have his name on it somewhere,” she adds.

“Well, I had an account. He’d put a small amount of money in it ever so often for me to go and get groceries or sometimes he’d let me buy myself something,” she says in a small voice, feeling completely exposed and just pathetic. She hates thinking back to that time in her life where she literally had no money of her own. She’d have to beg him for money if she needed anything at all. And she’d get so excited when he’d give her a little to go and treat herself to something.

It was pathetic and she was pathetic.

“Baby,” Tobin coos, nuzzling her nose into Christen’s neck. “Don’t get lost in your head,” she says quietly, knowing Christen well enough to know that she’s going down a rabbit hole in her head right now. She can tell by the look on her face and her body language. “You got yourself away from him and you built a wonderful life for yourself,” she tells her encouragingly. “Don’t go back to that place,” she says softly.

Christen just sighs and turns her head to the side, nuzzling her cheek against Tobin. She doesn’t really have the energy to speak about it right now, but she wants Tobin to know that she appreciates her and she had definitely started to get herself stuck in a dark place in her mind again.

But Tobin seems to always be there to pull her back out.

To remind her that she’s doing good now and that she’s safe and she’s happy.

She clears her throat and tries to focus again and remember what they had been talking about and where she had left off. “Um so yeah, he moved the money into my account so that I could write the checks,” she tells Lauren. “I know my account is closed. I don’t know if he still has the same bank account or how you’d even get those records,” she tells her.

Before Lauren can respond, there is a knock on the door and Tobin feels Christen jump in her arms. She just gently kisses Christen’s shoulder, knowing she’s a little on edge right now. “It’s just the food,” Tobin reminds her calmly.

Christen just lets out a breath as Tobin gets up to greet the delivery guy and get all of the food that she’d ordered. She sets it all down on the kitchen island and glances towards the living room where she sees Lauren holding Christen’s hand, caressing the back of it with her thumb in a comforting manor and it puts Tobin at ease. At least this woman seems to genuinely care about Christen and she doesn’t have to worry about her misusing any of this information or even just not doing everything that she can to keep Christen safe.

“I ordered some lunch, because Christen and I haven’t eaten,” Tobin calls out, informing Lauren. “I got extra in case you haven’t eaten either,” she says, giving the woman a kind smile.

Lauren smiles at her and then looks back at Christen, giving her hand a little squeeze. “That sounds great. I could eat,” she informs them, standing up from her spot at the coffee table. “How about we take a little breather and get some food in us and we can go back to brainstorming and figuring all of this out, yeah?” She says, and then looks to Christen to see if she agrees.

“Sounds good,” Christen says quietly, but doesn’t make an effort to get off the couch.

“Christen,” Lauren says gently, making the woman look up at her. “We will figure this out, I promise,” she tells her seriously. “I’m good at my job and you just have to trust me, alright?”

Christen just nods and looks back down, not trusting her voice with a reply. She doesn’t really believe that or trust Lauren yet but she’s not going to tell her that. She also doesn’t want Tobin to know that she’s starting to give up her fight and just surrender to everything.

She’s exhausted and maybe it’d be better for everyone if she just sells the magazine anyway.

Upside of that, her and Tobin could truly be together and she doesn’t have to deal with another PR issue after this one.

“Baby,” Tobin says, making Christen jump. She looks up and realizes that Tobin is standing directly in front of her. “Here,” she says, offering the woman a small salad. “I know you said you didn’t want anything too filling so I got your favorite salad from the deli down the street,” she says, sitting down next to her. “And there’s a few soups and some sandwiches if you want anything else,” she informs her.

“Thank you,” Christen says softly, taking the salad out of Tobin’s hand. “This’ll be okay for now,” she assures her.

“Okay. Do you want to eat at the table?” She questions, knowing that Christen doesn’t really like to eat on her couch, even though they do it occasionally when they want to be lazy and just cuddle on the sofa.

“Yeah,” Christen says softly, before slowly getting up off the couch and making her way into the dining room with Lauren.

Tobin watches her with a sigh. She’s never seen Christen seem so small and vulnerable and just overall scared. She knows that she has every right to feel this way, but seeing Christen in such a state is very unsettling. And it’s even worse because Tobin knows that there is nothing that she can do to help.


After they eat their lunch they do a little more talking and Lauren sets up a plan of action. Well on her part, anyway. She told Christen not to do anything or say anything to anyone, especially Jill Ellis until she makes some calls and looks into a few things.

Christen doesn’t exactly like the idea of just sitting back and doing nothing, but she knows that this is Lauren’s job and that she’s in good hands and just has to trust that she knows what she’s doing.

She just hopes that Jill doesn’t post this until they can get something figured out. She’s pretty sure that it at least won’t go out until their next issue which is just shy of a week, so that hopefully gives them a little time.

She could post it online, but Jill’s magazine doesn’t have a huge online presence and they’ve pretty much tried to keep everything old school, still sending out actual paper copies except for huge breaking stories, but she doesn’t really think that this falls under that category.

At least she hopes not.

She’s also not sure if Jill is actually going to post this or if she’s just trying to get something out of Christen and using this as blackmail.

She won’t really know anything until she talks to Jill. But she’s been told specifically not to do that.

“Alright, I will keep you completely updated on everything that I’m doing, alright?” Lauren tells her as Christen walks her to the front door. “I know you want to try and keep this low key for now, but I’m going to need to speak with the legal team and have a conversation with Jill, eventually,” she warns her.

Christen just nods, because she knew that would probably happen. “Yeah, I know,” she says softly. “Just...keep me updated,” is all she can say. “I just don’t want to be in the dark about what is happening,” she adds.

“I know, I promise that I won’t do anything before talking to you about it, okay?” She assures her. “I promise that you can trust me and that I care for you and I have your best interest in mind, and not just because it’s my job,” she says sincerely.

Christen just gives her a small smile and nods her head. “I appreciate that,” she says just as sincere.

“And think about the other thing that we talked about, okay?” She asks carefully.

Christen swallows and nods her head, “Yeah, I will,” she assures her. It’s not something that she wants to do, but she knows that she may have to. That or just give up the magazine.

Which isn’t sounding like the worst idea anymore.

“Also,” Lauren says, glancing behind Christen at Tobin. “I know we have more important things to worry about, but we obviously have to talk about that,” she says, looking back to Christen, knowing that she knows exactly what she’s talking about.

Or who.

Christen looks back at Tobin who is cleaning up the kitchen and then back to Lauren with a guilty look on her face, “Yeah, I know,” she assures her. “Let’s just get through one thing at a time,” she sighs.

Lauren just nods, “You seem really happy with her though. And she seems like she cares about you a lot,” she says softly. She hadn’t been able to not notice throughout the afternoon just how supportive and in love the two seem to be. “So that makes me happy. Even if you are making my job harder,” she adds with a smirk.

Christen can’t help but chuckle for the first time this afternoon, “Yeah, she’s amazing and I’m truly happy,” she says honestly.

Lauren just smiles and then leans in giving Christen a hug. “We will talk tomorrow,” she tells her. “And remember to call me if you hear anything else from Jill, alright?”

“I will,” Christen promises, opening the front door for Lauren.

With one last wave, Lauren walks out the door and Christen closes it behind her, letting out a heavy sigh. She feels herself start to tremble and before her legs can give out beneath her, she feels Tobin’s strong arms wrapped around her, holding her up.

“I’ve got you baby,” Tobin assures her, holding on tight.

Christen turns in Tobin’s arms, burying her face in Tobin’s neck, gripping onto her tightly. “Don’t let me go,” Christen whispers into her neck.

“Never,” Tobin assures her, tightening her grip on her, holding her close.