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Assassin's Creed: Shadow over Arendelle

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Elsa sighed.

A pair of beautiful blue eyes stared back at her, two frozen lakes of sadness. The mirror was humongous, an old hand-me-down from her parents, the former King and Queen of Arendelle that ruled over the kingdom until they died tragically at sea. Elsa examined her flowing locks of platinum blonde hair. They seemed to defy gravity, gentle cascading down her back and framing her beautiful heart-shaped face like a platinum blonde river. She was no doubt sexy as hell, but that wasn’t enough to make her happy. The cold may have never bothered her on account of her magical ice powers that she had since birth (which ended up being larger spirit world powers in the end), but she couldn’t be bothered to ever have an interest in dating. Even once she had managed to overcome her own insecurities over her ice powers, the thought never interested her. It just seemed so dull. There was a whole world to explore, after all. Perhaps it was a side effect of her frozen heart, the powerful force that made her stronger than a thousand men.

Speaking of dull, Elsa realized, dull would absolutely explain the situation she found herself in right now. She never should have come back from Angel Island, the magical forest where she had spent the better half of the past year while her younger sister Queen Anna ruled over Arendelle. She always hated being in this castle. She loved her sister, sure, but the tight quarters made her feel like an icy bird in a cage, and the rich history of Arendelle’s architecture served as no more than a grim reminder of her ultimate responsibility as the last heir of the ancient order of the assassins. Elsa just wanted to be free in her role as a bridge between the mortal role and the spirit world, she didn’t ask to inherit the responsibility of a millennia of struggles against the Templars. Normally she could forget that fact, but not here.

But somehow, Anna had convinced her to come back. For the first time in forever, she had come back to these boring and hallowed halls, the last remnant of the assassin’s order that battled against the templars for generations. Well, Elsa corrected herself, for generations until the Templars finally eradicated them. At least that was the official story. Elsa was the only living person who knew that she was secretly the last assassin.

Anna always managed to get her way, Elsa realized with a moment of clarity. She really was a perfect fit for Queen. With her upbeat personality and rich Northundra heritage, Queen Anna quickly managed to bring the Kingdom of Arendelle to an age of unprecedented prosperity and global influence with her myriad of plans and policies. Elsa can’t believe that she didn’t think to dump the Queenship on her a long time ago, before the adventure on the enchanted forest of Angel Island that almost destroyed the Kingdom of Arendelle itself. She was so talented that she managed to get Elsa to be present for the grand unveiling of her new plan to provide free healthcare to all members of the kingdom, provided certain conditions were met. Elsa sighed. “I guess it’s just one day”, she said out loud. And even though she had to be in the castle, it’s not like she had to assassinate anyone. She would be able to have a good time with her sister and her friends, Templars be damned.

As Elsa turned away from the sexy visage in the mirror, she heard her sister call her name. “Elsa!”, Anna said enthusiastically. Elsa groaned with annoyance as her bubbly sister burst through the door to her chambers. Elsa gave her a look over. Unlike Elsa, Anna had always had strawberry blonde hair instead of platinum blonde. And she was way more bubbly. Plus, she was already married to King Cristoph (but in Arendelle, the Queen had more power than the King) so there wasn’t much point on commenting on her appearance anyway, at the end of the day.

“What is it Anna?” said Elsa, who was trying to seem enthusiastic but to tell the truth was thoroughly annoyed with her annoying and bubbly younger sister.

Anna’s face was scrunched up in an over-enthusiastic pout. “Being Queen is so hard!” she exclaimed, throwing up her arms in exasperation.

Elsa laughed. It was classic Anna. Always acting bubbly, if not annoying. “Well it is what you signed up for”, she said with a smirk. “For what it’s worth, you’re good at it. You even got me to come here, despite…” Elsa cut herself off. She almost revealed the existence of the Assassin’s order to Anna! That was the last thing her little sister needed on her plate.

Luckily, Anna was too hyper and random to notice. “Ugh!” she shouted, collapsing backwards onto Elsa’s extravagant bed in frustration. She covered her face with a pillow, which she then screamed into. The whole thing was very animated, Elsa noticed.

“It’s the stupid United Nations!” Anna said exasperatedly. “They keep trying to knock our kingdom for adequate healthcare!”

Elsa nodded. She knew that the healthcare in the kingdom had been a problem lately, especially after it had almost been destroyed by a tidal wave at the end of their last adventure. She let her younger sister continue.

“Don’t they understand?” questioned Anna. “You can’t just do these things right away! I have a plan for how we can bring healthcare to the whole kingdom, but it’s a process! Can’t they just wait for the announcement before they criticize me? The whole thing is just so sexist!”

Elsa nodded. She thought that was a bit much if she were to be quite honest, but she didn’t need to piss off Anna today of all days. She just wanted to get this over with so she could leave the castle, which reminded her of the solemn responsibility of being the last living Assassin, and get back to the enchanted forests of Angel Island. She didn’t really give a shit about the United Nations. They were just a front for the Templars anyway, Elsa knew.

“Don’t worry, Anna”, Elsa said reassuringly. “I’m sure they’ll love your plan. I don’t know anyone who’s more qualified to be Queen of Arendelle than you. I believe in you”, Elsa lied. Again, she really didn’t give a shit.

Anna looked Elsa in the eye and believed her. They embraced in a warm hug, or at least it would have been warm if Elsa didn’t naturally have a low body temperature on account of her body temperature.

“Thanks sis.”, Anna said warmly. “See you at the press conference!” she yelled as she ran out of Elsa’s chambers with exuberant energy. Elsa rolled her eyes, but smiled lovingly. You couldn’t help but be charmed by Anna’s bubbliness, no matter how annoying she was. Elsa turned back to the mirror. After confirming that she looked suitably dynamite for the press conference, she left the room with another sigh to head to the town hall.

Elsa was walking over the battlements on the way down from her chambers when she heard a guitar playing.

“Reindeers are better than people. Sven, don’t you think that’s true?” she heard a voice sing.

Elsa smiled. That could only be King Cristoph, Queen Anna’s husband! She walked over to where he was singing, where she also found his reindeer Sven and Olaf, the hilarious magic snowman.

“Elsa!”, Olaf said. He fell apart and then reformed back together in excitement as he ran to her on his tiny snowman legs. Elsa caught him as he jumped into his arms as they shared a hug.

“Well, look who it is!” Cristoph said, putting away his guitar. “What a site for sore eyes. Ol’ Sven here thought we’d never see you again.”

Sven made a reindeer noise sarcastically, which indicated to Elsa that while he missed her, he didn’t honestly think she would never see them again. Reindeers are very emotive creatures, Elsa realized. That was something she quickly learned in her time on Angel Island.

Elsa giggled. She really liked these three. “Well it’s good to see you too!” she said. “I hope I didn’t scare you too much!”

“We thought you would be forgotten and abandoned due to licensing issues concerning Michael Jackson”, said Olaf with dead eyes in another one of his hilarious non-sequiturs. Everyone just kind of ignored him, they were all way past used to his shit by now. Some things never change, thought Elsa.

“I gotta admit, you look pretty sexy Elsa” said Cristoph. He was always a bit of a hound dog.

“Why thank you” said Elsa flatteringly, even though she probably wouldn’t have been interested in pursuing a relationship with Cristoph even if he wasn’t dating her sister, Queen Anna. “Are you all heading down to the press conference?”

Sven whinnied, which was reindeer language for “yes”. Everybody laughed. Elsa had to admit that it felt good to be home, Assassin’s Order and Templars be damned. They all hugged and then began to make their way towards the press conference in the town square. As they walked away, Olaf once again said a funny joke by saying “Can you feel the sunshine? It really brightens up my day, because I can’t melt.” Elsa didn’t get it, but she laughed anyway. It was nice to have these good times back again.

After a pleasant walk, the gang arrived at the town square, where Anna was waiting for them. She was twitching about and moving her eyebrows with nervous energy, Elsa noticed. Anna ran up to Cristoph and gave him a hug.

“I’m so glad to see you honey! And you too!” she said, turning to Elsa.

“This is what it is to be… snowdust in the wind” said Olaf with the dead eyes again, which was depressing on the surface but funny in context.

Anna turned to Olaf and patted him on the head. “I’m glad to see you too dummy!” she said with love. She then turned back to the group.

“Welp, I guess this is it! The grand unveiling of the new plan!” she said with nervous but still bubbly and charming energy. It wasn’t even that annoying, Elsa had to admit.

“You’ll do fine”, Elsa said with the reassuring confidence that can only come from one who had accepted the whole responsibility of the Assassin’s Order on their shoulders and lived to tell the tale. Anna smiled and ran up to the podium.

“Bwah!” yelled Anna, throwing her hands up in the air with exuberant energy. The people of Arendelle cheered wildly. They loved this bubbly shit, Elsa knew. “Who’s ready for healthcare reform?” Anna was waving her arms in wild and erratic patterns, and her face and eyebrows were contorting themselves in the wildest way. The people ate it up. Elsa was starting to get a headache from all the noise, but she maintained an air of professionalism and regality regardless. It’s just who she was.

The next second seemed to last a lifetime. Anna had taken a deep breath, to enunciate the first step in her next genius plan. As she inhaled, the statue of Elsa and Anna’s father, which was in the center of the square, exploded. Panicked screams for the crowd arose as smoke filled the air, obscuring vision.

The opening of the song E.G.G.M.A.N. by Paul Shortino and Jun Senoue began to play. Red and yellow spherical robots rolled into the town square, destroying buildings with laser beams in their wake. Is this the Templars? Elsa thought. As she tried to reorient herself in the chaos, she became vaguely aware of a floating vehicle housing an ovoid-shaped man. He started shouting while gesturing wildly with his disproportionately long arms.

The story begins, with who’s gonna win

Elsa stood up and looked around frantically. She saw that her friends were okay, at least for now. “Get to cover!” she yelled, “this is an attack!”

Aboard the ARK, a genius at heart

Elsa tried to use her ice powers to stop the robots, but there were surely too many. The gang started backing up towards the entrance of the castle. Anna turned to Elsa with tears in her eyes.

“It’s Dr. Eggman, of the Eggman Empire! He’s been one of our most vocal critics in the United Nations, he thinks we’re hiding weapons of mass destruction! Why didn’t he wait for my plan?”

I am the Eggman

Elsa was horrified at Anna’s words. While she wasn’t too familiar with global geopolitics, she knew from what little Assassin training that she had received that the Eggman Empire was a vassal state for the Templars. The sacred Assassin texts, Elsa realized with horror. I have to protect them.

“Elsa, you need to save us!” pleaded Anna, tears streaming down her cheeks. Cristoph and Sven tried to kill a robot with an axe, but they were powerless against the high-tek metal.

Elsa looked down in shame, averting Anna’s gaze. “I’m sorry Anna but I-I have to go!” shouted Elsa. She then began sprinting back to her chambers, where the ancient Assassin’s order texts which revealed the location of the Apple of Eden were located. There were some things that were more important than family, even if it caused Elsa to never forgive herself again.

*******************

I will conquer the world with my tools

Anna couldn’t believe her eyes. Elsa, her older sister who had always been there, had abandoned her. She had no hope of facing the invading Eggman Empire without her sister’s magic powers. She felt completely alone.

“Elsa…” Anna said, with not a hint of bubbliness. She stood and sobbed in despair.

At that moment, the soundtrack changed to the song “It Doesn’t Matter” by Tony Harnell. Suddenly, dozens of Eggman Empire robots exploded seemingly at the same time, as a blue blur appeared in Anna’s field of view.

Well I don’t show off, don’t criticize

The blue blue slowed down enough that Anna was able to make out a figure of a hedgehog. And he was giving her a thumbs up!

I’m just living by my own feelings

“W-who are you?” asked Anna.

“Heh. Nice to meetcha! My name is Sonic! Sonic the Hedgehog!” said the mysterious figure. “I’m hear to help, and my friends are too! Isn’t that right Tails?”
“That’s right Sonic!” said a two-tailed fox who sounded to Anna like a small child.

The ominous ovoid figure spoke, waving his hands in displeasure.

“It’s that damned blue hedgehog!” said Dr. Eggman, in a voice that was clearly closer to that of Deem Bristow than Mike Polluck. “Get him!” he yelled, clearly extremely agitated.

The blue hedgehog, Sonic, began running circles around the town square and destroying the robot with ease and style. “Nice try Eggman,” he said, “but looks like your plans are foiled again.”

“Hoho, don’t be so sure!” said the egg-themed despot. He took a remote out of one of his many pockets and pressed a button that was on that same remote. “Got you!” he said.

“Wh-whuh?!” screamed Sonic. He became incased in a tube which electrified him with energy.

“Sonic!” screamed a pink hedgehog wielding a big hammer. Anna noted that she was wearing a cute dress.

“He’s going to turn him into a werehog again!” yelled the fox as Sonic screamed in pain. The music had long since changed from “It Doesn’t Matter” back to “E.G.G.M.A.N.”, an ill omen.

I am the enemy, I will succeed

“Guah-GuaaaAAHHHHHH!!!” shouted the hedgehog, as he transformed into a vicious beast. He was then rocketed into space, never to be seen again. Dr. Eggman began laughing manically as his robots advanced forward.

“Sonic…” said Tails, falling to his knees in despair.

“N-no…” said Anna, not bubbly at all, as she did the same.

“Sonic…” said Cristoph in his goofy reindeer voice, as he was pretending that Sven was speaking. They both sunk to their knees, but Sven had four instead of two on account of being a reindeer.

“Um, maybe I just don’t know what’s going on, but this looks bad!” said Olaf, as clueless as ever.

******************

Elsa burst through the door to her chambers, breathing heavily. Despite her normally icy cool demeanor, she was in a full-on panic. If the Eggman Empire discovered the ancient Assassin texts, the Templars would be able to find the Apple of Eden. And if that happened, the world as we knew it would be over. Where is the secret entrance? thought Elsa wildly. Where are the texts? Show yourself!

Elsa was about to check behind the mirror when the windows shattered. Elite Eggman Empire robots crashed in through the windows into the exact same room Elsa herself was standing in at that very moment. They all pointed their laser rifles at her. Elsa probably could have used her ice powers to blow them up, but she was so panicked and scared that she froze in place.

“No!” Elsa yelled, closing her eyes and shielding her face with her hands. She waited for the end to come, but the end never game. Instead, she heard a few small explosions, and then nothing. After a few seconds, she opened her eyes. She saw that the robots were completely destroyed into a million tiny little pieces. And she saw something else- a cool black and red hedgehog wearing hover shoes. He was standing there, with his arms crossed coolly.

Elsa was instantly smitten.

“I assume you’re the former queen?” the hunky hedgehog said. “Elsa?”

Elsa felt herself blush as he said her name. “Um, yeah! Yes. That’s me!” she said, standing to attention. She winced at her own awkwardness. “How can I help you?”

The hedgehog scoffed, clearly disgusted. Elsa felt her face blush even more.

“I’m with the Assassin’s Order,” he said coolly. “Come with me if you want to live.”

He outstretched his hand, but otherwise did not move from his aloof position.

Elsa stared at his hand, wide eyed. She felt dumbstruck. Another Assassin? And one so breathtaking on top of it all?

“Well? Come on!” said the hedgehog impatiently, clearly agitated. “Let’s go!”

Elsa shook her head, focusing herself. “Okay, I trust you!” she said, grabbing his hand.

The hedgehog scoffed coolly. “I don’t care if you trust me. Let’s get out of here.” He looked ahead, focusing.

“CHAOS. CONTROL!”

Elsa felt a strange but familiar power pulse through her as the world disappeared around her.

***********************

Thank you for reading Chapter 1! Who is the mysterious black hedgehog? What will happen to Arendelle with Sonic out of action? Is Olaf okay? The answer to these any many other questions will appear in Assassin’s Creed: Shadow over Arendelle chapter 2: Into the Unknown!