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They’d heard the rumors, of course.

Supervisor Mitsuba was famous for being rather…touchy with his inmates, specifically the most handsome ones.

This of course, posed a problem for Honey (and to a lesser extent, Trois).

Sure, a little affection now and there would be fun, but they’re not the type to just take a bastard in power abusing authority to bitchify them lying down.

They’re not that desperate to feel something from someone else, just very.

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

“Oh dear, what happened?”

That catches Trois by surprise, and Honey too, if the shiver he thinks he covered up is anything to go by.

“Oh, supervisor, we were just walking back to the cell, and the camera up there seems to have fallen down.”

“Oh, really? Is that true, lieutenant?” The supervisor questions the guard leading them.

“Um…Actually yes, it just fell apart and fell down. Number 03 decided to help pick the pieces up, but we seem to be missing some.” The guard answers, slightly intimidated by the playful look on the supervisor’s face.

And he’s not lying, the poor guard clearly didn’t see Honey’s wire or Trois swiftly hide some of the components in his ribbon; they’re professionals after all. Though, the supervisor seems to have a sharp set of eyes on him.

“Well, isn’t that strange?” The queen says to himself, in a way that’s clear he knows that they’re responsible, “Oh well, I guess we’ll just have to have it replaced. What a shame.” And he sighs before giving him a look, “Though I commend you for assisting, Number 03. Someone can expect a good mark on his record.”

“Thank you, sir.”

“Though,” The older man begins, walking closer to him, “I’ve heard that you’re quite good with these mechanical matters; perhaps you and I could discuss some sort of arrangement later? If you keep up this good behavior that is.” He states, with a look on his face that shows interest in him, a hand put on his shoulder, destroying the control he has over his nerves temporarily, releasing a twitch.

“Well-”

“I’m sorry sir,” Honey interjects, taking Trois’ arm, thankfully ignoring the shudder, “But we really must be going, it’s getting quite late.” And they walk off, the lieutenant scrambling after them.

“Oh, well some other time then.”

Back in the cell, he attempts to thank Honey for his little rescue, but the stubborn fool is surprisingly humble when someone thanks him without prompting, setting off a grumble that Trois just has to tease him about until the idiot threatens to rip his head off. 

He heads to sleep not much after hiding the pieces he took somewhere safe, and tries to forget how oddly…soothing Supervisor Mitsuba’s hand was.

Best not to get his hopes up, nothing good ever comes out of expecting the best in people.

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

“Number 82! Are you all right?!”

Oh, great, first he slips on some fucking ice cube that some asshole dropped, and now the drag queen predator’s here.

“Yes, I just slipped on an ice cube,” he answers trying to pull up away from where the okama’s crouched in front of him.

“Oh dear, let me see your face!, Ohhh,” And before he can get up, the pheasant’s got his face in his hands, Why do they feel so nice, why are they comfortable, why, “I could never forgive myself if something happened to your gorgeous face! Oh, one bruise would just kill me!”

And Honey knows that he should get up, away from the possible molester, scream every swear he knows, at least throw a punch, because experience has taught him that if it’s possible, there’s a 95% chance it’s grounded in fact, but…he can’t, Why can’t he-

Splash!

“Oh, I’m so sorry, Supervisor Mitsuba,” Trois replies, looking down at them after keeping himself from falling after nearly “tripping,” having spilled his water on the bird, “I was so worried, I must have tripped on something.” And he covers it up with that innocent look he’s perfected to an art by now, lifting Honey up and choosing to pretend he’s not shivering at the contact.

“I see…,” The bird agrees, getting up and dusting off his legs, “Well, I trust that you’re alright, Number 82, but just in case, I’ll have a guard escort you to the infirmary. And Number 03, be more cautious.”

“Actually, I think I’m alright-” He tries to argue.

“Nonsense! We can’t take any injuries lightly! Not like the barbarians in the other buildings!” And he walks off before Honey can argue against him any further, briefly pausing to talk to a guard before heading out of the cafeteria while the other inmates try to pretend they didn’t see anything.

He’s not going to keep thinking of how gentle the man was with him, he won’t compare it to the feeling of the hands of his own mother.

And he’ll never admit how nice it felt.

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

“Sigh, Ahato,” Kiji begins, “I do so hate it when the inmates have the wrong idea about me. Has no one heard of waiting before you pass judgement?”

“Well, Sir,” his handsome subordinate begins, “You DO come off a little…strong, sometimes.”

“I can’t help it!” The fabulous man complains, “Do you have any idea how hard it would be to try and contain all this perfection?! There’s only so much that I can do to keep from being myself when I’m already obligated to share myself with the world.”

“I know,” Ahato agrees, going to squeeze his shoulders, “But maybe you should just try and talk to the two of them? Nothing works better than an honest conversation.”

Once again impressed by his guard’s ability to show him the obvious conclusion in a naturally fabulous way, Kiji responds, “I swear, Ahato: If I didn’t have you, I might start getting wrinkles.”

“GASP! Don’t say that blasphemy! Just the thought of one coming onto your gorgeous face would give me nightmares!”

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

Just outside the supervisor’s door, without another guard around, Honey decides to get the talk with Trois over with.

“Well, it looks like today’s the day, Trois: We’re going to be made the playthings of a sick fuck with a badge.”

“And I always thought I’d be able to get away while it happened to you.”

“I wish I could stuff your glasses up your ass, but I’m too terrified.”

“Well,” Trois starts, “we could fight back.”

“Best case scenario: We get away. Bad case scenario: We do it, can’t escape, and we go to solitary. Worst case scenario: We die, and he preserves our corpses to fuck for eternity.”

“True.”

Well, they might as well get it over with, “Trois,” You’re my best friend, “You’re an asshole.”

“I’ll miss you too, Honey.”

Opening the door after getting the okay from inside, they approach the desk where their supervisor looks at them with an oddly…disappointed look.

“You wanted to see us, Supervisor Mitsuba?” Trois starts, also not seeing a reason to prolong their eventual torment.

“Yes,” The man begins, “It seems we’ve had a…failure to communicate.”

Preparing the thread, because at least they can try and run, Honey tries to distract the man, “How-”

“I’m not a rapist.”

“I know I may seem a bit too interested in my inmates’ appearances, and if I’ve made any of you uncomfortable, I do apologize, but I have no intentions of molesting any of you.”

“Oh.” 

And because life is a fucking joke, him and Trois just spoke at the same time, though the idea of Trois being shocked makes him feel a little bit better.

“Do either of you two know the effects of not receiving a proper amount of physical affection can do to the body?”

“Um…”

“It’s alright if you don’t, it’s not a popular subject, but the point is, as prisoners, you are all at risk of suffering from a lack of physical contact. Part of the problem is being imprisoned in of itself, but another is that, depending on the background and situation, the inmate cannot find a reason to believe that anyone would treat them kindly, even after release.”

And then he gives them a look that reminds Honey too much of a mother who just found out her child’s being bullied and didn’t tell her.

“And that just breaks my heart.”

Getting up, he walks over to them, and places a hand on both of their heads, not bothered at all by the shivers, “So, if I’m coming off too strong, just let me know. But boys, you can’t go through life just expecting that everyone’s out to get you.”

In shock, while Trois seems to be frozen, Honey at least can get out, “How do you-what makes you think -why should we-”

Chuckling, the bird counters with, “Well, you found each other, didn’t you?”

…So maybe not everyone’s a piece of shit.