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Stark Shenanigans

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The sound of his stomach growling caused Tony to look up from the project that he’d been working on. He’s just now noticing the achy feeling in his stomach that was all too familiar. “JARVIS when was the last time I ate?” Tony called out to the space in front of him, eyes drifting towards the lab door. “Approximately thirteen hours ago Sir.” JARVIS replied with a hint of what sounded like disapproval, Tony could take care of himself just fine, he didn’t need his AI mother hening him, Tony had created him for heaven's sake.

His eyes had adjusted to the darkness of the hallway by the time he reached the tower’s elevator. He drags his right hand down his face while using his left to press the button for the avengers kitchen, suddenly realising how tired his eyes felt. His feet padded against the floor as he lazily made his way towards the fridge. There had better be eggs in the fridge he thought, I had JARVIS restock it earlier this week, but from the amount that the team ate… he should really make the others go grocery shopping from time to time so that they’d at least go outside, especially Steve but given how he had complained about the price of everything the last time they were in a supermarket that probably wasn't the smart choice.

He squinted at the light of the fridge when he opened the fridge door, cool air drifting out and caressed his cheek, his eyes gazed to the right side of the fridge where the eggs were normally kept. Oh nice there were two left, washing the two eggs under the sink, he cracked them into a bowl, added a splash of soya sauce and whisked the eggs together. Putting a frying pan onto the stove, he poured some oil into the pan and sloppily rotated the pan from left to right, forwards and backwards.

He continued to whisk his eggs while he waited for the pan to heat up. What time was it? He looked out the window and it was dark, the view was spectacular. Of course it was he who chose the tower's location after all. Turning his attention back to the stove, he turned on the lights so he could see what he was doing before dumping the eggs unceremoniously onto the frying pan. A sizzling sound came from the eggs when he bent down to open the cupboard under the sink reaching to get a spatula.

“Aha!” the billionaire shouted once he got one, in his scramble to get back to his eggs before they burned he hit his head on the cupboard. “Fuuuuuuckkk.” he wined rubbing the sore spot on the back of his head. “Sir are you alright?” “I’m fine JARVIS” just now noticing how much oil he dumped into the pan he took the pan off the stove to pour some oil into the sink so his eggs aren’t drowning.

Tony doesn’t notice the dribble of oil that made it to the side of the pan while he made sure his eggs didn’t fall out into the sink. Which resulted in the frying pan catching on fire as he moved it back to the stove dripping slightly, this was followed by a clang as Tony threw the frying pan down. “Shit shit shit shit.” Tony was wide awake now, catching a glimpse at the clock on the wall it read 3:23am. “JARVIS turn on all the lights on this floor” he said frantically, running around the kitchen counter once, hands frantically running through his hair, where’s the fire extinguisher. JARVIS’ voice responded with “Right away Sir, the fire extinguisher is next to the elevator.” “Thanks J!” The paper towels were on fire now, causing a steady flow of smoke to erupt.

An adrenaline filled Tony ran out into the hallway and made a sharp left turn, his feet heavy on the floor, the fire extinguisher stood beautifully red in all its glory ready to save Tony. Yanking it off the wall he made a mad dash back to the kitchen, the sprinklers had gone off by now, soaking billionaire as alarms blared in the background.

Pulling the pin on the fire extinguisher he aimed the nozzle at the base of the fire and squeezed the trigger moving from left to right covering the stove with white foamy carbon dioxide, smothering the fire.

After successfully extinguishing his now charcoal eggs and ash towels the engineer slumped against the kitchen counter placing the fire extinguisher on it, catching his breath he breathed a sigh of relief. Sensing he wasn’t alone Tony slowly turned around and was faced with the rest of the Avengers.

Steve was in navy blue sweatpants, and a grey cotton shirt, shield in hand, his blonde hair ruffled and slightly damp. He gave a tired yawn right hand moving up to cover his mouth and continued to look at Tony with tired eyes.

Natasha had her arms crossed, staring intensely at Tony, her mouth in a thin line that reminded the genius of Professor McGonagall. The lump in the pocket of her bathrobe suggests a gun was there.

Clint on the other hand was grinning like an idiot, eyes flickering between the stove and Tony. Eyes trailing up the dark imprint of soot that now stained the white wall. He had a knife held loosely by his right hand, he was in his boxer shorts.

Bruce was leaning against the doorway looking amused, giving Tony a slight wave when their eyes met, Tony’s eyes clearly conveyed “Help!” but he didn’t move to help. He was dressed in a pale purple shirt and brown cotton pants. Tony suspects he’s only there to stop him from darting out the door as soon as Natasha made a move. He knew how much she valued her sleep, and he had just caused an unnecessary panic at three in the morning.

Tony turned to walk around the counter, he was walking on eggshells, he was literally walking on eggshells, he didn't throw the eggshells away from when he cracked the eggs to cook them. In the middle of his dashing about it had gotten knocked onto the floor and he’d just stepped on them breaking the silence in the kitchen with a crunch.

Wincing he slowly looked up at the team. He saw Natasha shoot Clint a glare as he was undoubtedly about to open his mouth and say something about the situation, Tony hoped that he would, Natasha is scary.

Focusing her attention back onto the klutz Natasha took a step forward causing Tony to take a step back, she uncrossed her arms when she was close enough to the kitchen counter and rested both her palms onto it, never breaking eye contact with Tony.

“Anthony Edward Stark, you have exactly one minute to answer this question. What the fuck-” Tony had never rambled faster in his life.