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Cheesy Pick Up Lines and Bad Jokes

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"If you were a booger I’d pick you first."

Minho did his best to hide his smile with a sigh. A very dramatic ‘where do find this stuff” sigh. He wasn’t sure if it worked though seeing as how Thomas seemed to exceptionally proud of himself for that one. At least he was judging by the wink and grin he had just given Minho.

"You are so weird." Minho stated. He still wasn’t sure if all these jokes and pick up lines Thomas had been using on him were genuine or just Thomas trying to be funny. Thomas didn’t try to deny it, didn’t even find it insulting. Just shrugged his shoulders in an cavalier manner.

"Weird is the new cool, Min."

"Not your kind of weird."

"I’m a special case." Thomas spoke, full of pride, as he beamed at Minho.

Shaking his head slightly, Minho went to pretending to the text on his phone was much more interesting than watching Thomas’s failed attempts at flirting. Well, Minho thought he was flirting; he couldn’t really tell.

This had been going on a few awhile now. Every day Minho would take the subway to and form the company he was interning at. And every day Thomas would stand in front of him and tell Minho all the corny pick up lines and jokes he could think. If it was anyone else, Minho would told them to fuck off already.

Thomas wasn’t just anyone, however.

To Minho’s surprise, Thomas turned out to be a pretty respectable person. He never said anything out of line or would make Minho feel uncomfortable. Just made bad jokes and even worse pick up lines, which got funnier the more Minho grew to like Thomas.

There were days when Thomas would share his breakfast when Minho forgot his; which was a frequent occurrence. Something Thomas quickly noticed and began buying an extra muffin every morning. It didn’t take long for him to learn that Minho preferred cran-apple muffins above all others.

Some days, when Minho was exhausted working a non-paying job for people he didn’t like, Thomas would talk about whatever came to mind instead of pestering him with cheesy lines Minho was sure never worked. Those were days he liked Thomas the best.

But he never asked Minho out.

It made Minho wonder if Thomas was just playing with him or was too nervous to ask him out. Part of him wanted to just ask Thomas for a date instead of waiting like he has been. Another part was scared.

Minho stared blankly at his phone, trying to gather the courage to ask Thomas out. The same way he had so many times before. Whenever he tried, though, Minho would end up rambling about something that nothing to do with Thomas.

He was to unsure how Thomas felt. Was Thomas like this with all of his friends, or just him? They’d never seen each other outside the subway; and Thomas always got off before Minho. How are you supposed to tell what someone is like with their friends if you never saw them? 

"You know, Minho," Thomas spoke lazily, the same he always did when making idle conversation. "Sometimes I wish I was a test tube baby."

"Why would you want to be a test tube baby?" Minho looked up, pulled from his disheartening thoughts, and caught Thomas’s eye briefly before groaning out loudly. "Oh my god, please don’t."

"They get to have wombs with a view." Thomas laughed loudly, ignoring all the looks their fellow passengers were given him. Now the whole car thought Thomas was weird.

Minho his face in hands and did his best to act like he was more annoyed than he actually was. This was it. This was the person he was slowly falling for.

"Where do you find this stuff? Is there an app for it or something?"

"Probably, but I don’t need an app to help me flirt.” Thomas spoke matter-of-factly with a smile. The same smile Minho looked forward to seeing everyday. “I’m just that good.”

Minho snorted, and tried cover up his laughter.

"Thomas," Minho said after taking a deep breath, "I wouldn’t call the you flirt good. I’m not even sure I would call flirting, to be honest."

"Nah, you’re just jealous of my awesome skills." Thomas retorted. "You couldn’t reach my level."

"Why be jealous of someone who flirts like a twelve year old?"

"Because this is the best way to flirt. I bet you could do it to if you really wanted."

"Well, I don’t." Minho wasn’t sure why he declined. An angry voice in his heard was screaming that he just passed up his chance.

"Come on, do it. Give me your best shot. Please?" Thomas was practically jumping where he stood as he whined at him. It was impossible to say no when Minho noticed how excited Thomas seemed to be about it all. Huffing out a sigh of annoyance to cover how nervous he really felt, Minho thought for a moment while Thomas kept whining.

"Knock. Knock." Minho spoke simply. If Thomas wanted corny flirting, Minho would give him the corniest line he could think of.

"Who’s there?" Thomas was grinning from ear to ear.


"Ben who?"

"Ben over and kiss me."

Minho wasn’t sure if he got the last word out before Thomas’s lips were on his. It was clumsy, their noses bump against each other’s roughly, and hurt more than a kiss should, but Minho didn’t care. Thomas didn’t seem to care either.

Thomas pulled back after only a few seconds, cheeks growing red. Minho stared at him, eyes wide. He tried to think of something to say, anything, but all he could think of was how soft Thomas’s lips felt on his.

"Sorry, been wanting to do that for awhile now."

Still nothing came to Minho’s mind. The angry voice was back, screaming even louder than before. Yelling at him answer whatever question Thomas just asked instead of just stare at his lips.

Thomas seemed nervous at this, was stuttering on about something Minho couldn’t comprehend at the moment.

"Shut up, Thomas."

Minho stood up quickly, tired of trying to think this through. He pulled Thomas in for another kiss. One that didn’t involve their noses bumping painfully into one another.

Their noses still hit one another, just not as painfully as before.

"Okay," Thomas spoke, a hint of frustration in his voice, "I don’t think kissing in a moving train is the best idea." He rubbed slightly as he glanced at Minho.

"Yeah, you’re right. Let’s get off at the next stop."