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仙督 (Xiāndū): Your Excellency; Chief Cultivator.

 


 

 

Wei Wuxian had once been fourth on the list of the most sought after cultivators of his generation. He knows that his body had been nothing less than extremely pleasant to look at. He is painfully aware of the way the maidens whom he had flirted with used to swoon over him. He possesses the knowledge that the sharp features, the well built, defined body and the bright grin he once had, had been pretty good reasons for how men and women alike had been very much attracted to him. 

 

He also knows that his body now is very different from before. He is painfully aware of the smaller build, the loss of muscle, the void in his lower dantian, the absence of the old scars in his arms due to sword training, the one due to the golden core transfer and the faded dog bite marks in his ankles. He possesses the knowledge that the youth he once had been had suffered from malnourishment after being thrown into the burial mounds and had done his best there to survive with the Wen remnants – the time when he had given most of his own food to A-Yuan – after shouldering the harm that had come with demonic cultivation, worse without a golden core to lessen the wounds, and he also knows that some of the consequences of these facts cannot be erased from his body even after almost years of good diet, physical training and care. 

 

Another thing that he knows of, is painfully aware of and possesses the knowledge of, is that none of this matters for his husband. Lan Wangji has made it clear numerous times that he loves him, loves his body, had always loved the way it had been in their youth, and loves it the way it is now. 

 

The thing – the problem – is that sometimes he still thinks too much about it. 

 

On some days he will come back from training and realize that he has made no progress on how long he can wield Suibian for without collapsing from exhaustion. That the small spark of a golden core he has been trying to cultivate with Lan Wangji’s help has not increased its unnoticeable power. That if he injures himself a little too much, he will have trouble healing without the aid of others. That everytime he uses his demonic cultivation for a little too long, he will probably bleed and make Lan Zhan worry, and he hates making Lan Zhan worry.

 

On other days he will look into the mirror and notice all the things that have changed. He will remember the brand mark that is not on his chest, but is instead on Lan Wangji’s. He will run his fingers on top of the scar tissue of the stab wound caused by Suihua. He will take note that his abdomen is now much softer than it once was, and that he never managed to make his chest broader, or his arms harder, even though he is now much stronger than he had been when he had come back to the Cloud Recesses after his lonely travels. The thought am I still worthy of his love? will still cross his mind no matter how unlogical he knows it to be.

 

However, even with all the insecurities he has over his body, his strengths, his capacities, his long thought strings of what ifs, there are some things that make it bearable, better, and easier to heal. 

 

He feels better when he remembers that he doesn’t need his old body to teach classes so good that even Lan Qiren has to admit the progress his students are making. He feels his shoulders relax when he sees the sparkle in the juniors’ eyes when he is the one supervising their training, when it’s him doing the teaching about a brand new talisman or when he’s the one just chatting or teasing them during their breaks.

 

Even more than that, there is one thing, a person, that gets him in the most peaceful mindset possible, his most effective remedy, his most stable pillar, and that person is Lan Zhan.

 

He is the one that had soothed him when he had gone through his first crisis about this subject, the one who had wiped his tears and told him, you are beautiful, Wei Ying. The one who had stripped him of his clothes and licked and kissed his entire body, and then held him close while he had sobbed and vented about what he had been thinking about himself. 

 

This has not erased all of his insecurities, sure, it is not something that will heal overnight, but he knows that this support and display of love is one of the things that allows him to start recovering, and that maybe one day he will not feel so utterly unsure about his body.

 

Sadly, he thinks, this day is still not today, and he wakes up feeling terrible.

 

A few moments after he has woken up, it is nine o’clock, and Lan Wangji opens the doors of the jingshi, knowing already that Wei Wuxian would be waking up at this time, and he’s carrying a tray with dishes clearly meant for the only person in the entire Cloud Recesses able to consume that absurd amount of spice. He sets the tray on one of the tables and walks around the privacy screen that shields their bed. Wei Wuxian is sat on the bed distractedly, staring at his lap, his hair disheveled and there is a little bit of drool at the corner of his mouth. Lan Wangji approaches him, his presence only acknowledged when he sits on the bed and wipes Wei Wuxian’s lips clean with his thumb. “Good morning”.

 

The gentle gaze of the other makes him feel more vulnerable than he already is. He masks it by trying to cover it up with a lightweight request. “Lan-er-gege, I’m still so sleepy. Please give me a kiss so I can get up.” If he has to admit it to himself, yes, he is sad, and he wants to be comforted, but he does not want for Lan Wangji to notice that, and he figures he might not be doing a very good job at hiding it.

 

Lan Wangji’s lips curl up, and he responds by placing a soft kiss on his forehead while saying, “Will draw Wei Ying a bath.” He moves to get up, but Wei Wuxian whines, tugging him back by his arm and pouts.

 

“Lan Zhan, you are so mean, I can’t believe you are doing this to your poor husband. I was so lonely here, without you, and you are refusing me from a proper kiss, Lan Zhaaan,” he whines like a spoiled child. “Weren’t you the one who said you couldn’t deny me anyth–” and he is interrupted by Lan Wangji kissing his lips, the most effective way of shutting Wei Wuxian up.

 

“Bath,” says Lan Wangji and gets up to fetch the water, and Wei Wuxian lets him go with a small smile. 

 

His warm smile slips out of his face as soon as Lan Wangji steps out of the jingshi. He knows he will have to talk about what he is feeling soon, but he has just woken up, and so he decides to keep it to himself for now. As much as Wei Wuxian would love to just pretend it’s simply not happening, one of the previous times he’s had an episode of being overwhelmed with his insecurities, Lan Wangji had made him promise that whenever it would happen again, he would tell him so they could talk through it together before it would get too much. Wei Wuxian had appreciated it a lot. 

 

So he gets up, combs his own fingers through his hair to smooth out the worst of it, ties his sleeping robes a little more securely around his frame and sits down at the table where his breakfast has been placed. There is a bowl of congee in a vibrant crimson color, another one with various boiled vegetables sprinkled with chilli flakes, and one more with sliced apples. Beside the containers sits a pot with steaming jasmine tea, and Wei Wuxian pours a cup of it for himself.

 

His mood always improves a little when he eats breakfast prepared by his soulmate. It’s not everyday that Lan Wangji can personally go in the kitchens and prepare food for him. Luckily, today is one of the joyous occasions of the week where the only morning duty Lan Wangji has is conducting meditation for younger disciples who have just recently formed their golden cores. 

 

The Little Lans, as Wei Wuxian lovingly refers them as, start at six and finish by eight. From there, one of the sword masters will begin showing them the initial sword forms, so Lan Wangji usually has enough time to make the dishes and bring them to the Jingshi by the time Wei Wuxian normally wakes up.

 

He is halfway into his congee bowl when Lan Wangji comes back holding a considerably big bucket of water by its handle with one hand, using the other one to open and close the door of the jingshi. Wei Wuxian smiles at that. He notices with fondness the unconscious display of the arm strength of his husband. Lan Wangji sends him a soft look and moves to dispose the water in the bathtub, heating it up with talismans as Wei Wuxian continues eating.

 

When he notices that the faint glow of spiritual energy from the talismans has ceased, Wei Wuxian waves a hand at his husband, beckoning him towards himself, “Come here, Lan Zhan.” 

 

Lan Wangji readily complies and moves graciously to sit beside Wei Wuxian, wrapping one hand around his waist and humming. They sit like that for a while until Wei Wuxian finishes his food and his second cup of tea, and nuzzles into Lan Wangji’s embrace, inhaling his scent and burying his face in the crook of his neck. He feels safe, and for a little moment allows himself to have only the smell of sandalwood cloud his senses. He tries to cling to the littlest bits of comfort he can find.

 

“I missed you,” he says, a little muffled from the way his mouth is half covered by the skin of his husband’s collarbones. It has, after all, been way too long since they have actually held each other. The four long hours spent alone in bed since Lan Wangji’s waking at five had felt like an eternity, and he knows it is the same for the other.

 

“Missed Wei Ying,” comes the answer as strong arms gently maneuver him so he is properly rested on his lover’s lap, and the arms around him tighten just a little. Wei Wuxian suspects that Lan Wangji must have noticed that there is something out of place, but can’t pinpoint what it is yet.

 

“My classes are only in the later afternoon, Lan Zhan, what about you?” he mumbles quietly.

 

“The same as Wei Ying.”

 

There is a slight pause before Wei Wuxian speaks again. He reorganizes his thoughts.

 

“Lan Zhan…” he trails off, not knowing how to put his storming feelings into words. He takes his time. He knows that Lan Wangji has already recognized the tone in his words as the one he uses when there’s something troubling him, judging by the fingers running gently through Wei Wuxian’s sleep-tangled hair.

 

“Mn?”

 

He feels more than he hears the small grunt of a response, the vibrations of it running through his body when most of it is touching Lan Wangji’s, the comforting feeling as well as a small shudder going up his spine. He closes his eyes and tries to elaborate, but no words come out.

 

He recognizes this feeling. He feels small and vulnerable, as if he is being emotionally held together only by Lan Wangji physically holding him, and he is not sure if he has the courage to ask for it out loud, but he feels the need to be pampered, the need to be treated with care, and he just wants his Lan Zhan doing things for him.

 

“Lan Zhan...” he tries again, “take me.. to the tub? I-I mean, please help me bathe? I’m feeling… I’m not– My body, I…” 

 

God, he feels like a mess. Suddenly there are tears forming behind his eyelids. He feels so stupid because there has literally not been a single event that would have triggered this wave of feelings he is being assaulted with. He had just woken up feeling this way and now he has to deal with it, and just one of his first attempts of communicating it to Lan Zhan already has him almost crying.

 

Lan Wangji understands. Of course he will take care of him. There is a kiss being pressed at the top of his head, and another mn from Lan Wangji as he stops the motion of his fingers that are caressing his scalp. He adjusts his body so he can get up without letting go, slowly carrying him, one hand placed under Wei Wuxian’s legs and another one supporting his torso.

 

Lan Wangji buries his face into his hair and inhales, closing his eyes and telling himself that Wei Ying will be okay, before he makes his way around the privacy screen and gently puts his lover on the bed so he can help him disrobe.

 

Wei Wuxian lifts his left wrist to Lan Wangji’s view, and the latter carefully unties the Lan Sect ribbon wrapped around it, placing it neatly folded on the bed. He lifts the now bare wrist to his mouth and places a kiss on it, making eye contact with Wei Wuxian after. He removes his own silver hairpiece and puts it beside the ribbon. He also takes off his outer robes, as the sleeves are too long and would get in the way of helping Wei Wuxian bathe. After having folded and deposited them in a similar fashion as the other items on the bed, he unties Wei Wuxian’s robe, which is a white, silk one, that is obviously not one of his own, and gracefully lays it down with the rest of the garments.

 

Lan Wangji takes a note of how oddly silent he is. Instead of throwing jokes about being undressed like this, Wei Wuxian is carefully watching his every move. 

 

“Do you.. wish to talk about it?” He asks kindly. He knows he has to.

 

The question, while not harsh, seems to come too quickly. Wei Wuxian’s first reaction is to run from it, to deny it, to act like it doesn’t exist.

 

“About what?” he asks as if nothing is wrong. He might as well slap himself for that stupid response, he thinks.

 

Both of them go silent for a while, but Lan Wangji does not give up. “You can tell me, Wei Ying. Take your time.” His voice is so low, so warm, and Wei Wuxian feels even worse.

 

When he thinks about wording it out, hot, unshed tears well up in his eyes. His vision blurs against his will and he tries to look away. Lan Wangji’s expression turns into a worried frown. Wei Wuxian is still sitting on the bed, so Lan Wangji kneels down in front of him and carefully cups his face, turns it to face him. Without a word he caresses his cheeks with his thumbs and leans in to kiss his eyelids, one at a time. “The bath is ready.”

 

He doesn’t expect an answer, and he does not get one, but this is his way of letting Wei Wuxian know that it is time to move. Lan Wangji lifts him up again and walks to the tub, then lowering Wei Wuxian down into the steamy water. 

 

He begins the process of bathing. Wei Wuxian lets him do it. He gives Lan Wangji his arms when he asks for them, lowers his head into the water to wet his hair when he is instructed, and he turns around in the tub to show Lan Wangji his back so that the latter can scrub it with a wet towel, all the while taking involuntary glimpses at his own body, at his arms, his chest and thighs underwater, so scar-less, so foreign, lasting only a full two minutes before the thoughts betray him and it gets overwhelming again. This is not his.

 

How can he be himself when this is not his.

 

How dare Nie Huaisang manipulate a man so sorrowful that he’ll end up thinking death is the best option, and how dare he corner a tortured soul like that and persuade him into thinking he has no other option but to execute body sacrifice and just hope for the best. 

 

Wei Wuxian will never be able to pay it back to Mo Xuanyu. Will never be able to show him his gratitude for giving him the chance to be with his soulmate, to reunite with his son, his brother, his nephew. 

 

Worst of all, he can’t even hope for Mo Xuanyu’s soul to rest in peace because it has been destroyed.

 

Wei Wuxian's tears fall silently. He is upset and he feels wrong, but he cannot–

 

He had never asked for a chance to come back, and yet here he is, having been brought back, and crying pitifully in a tub while the love of his two lives takes care of him and probably doesn’t know what he is thinking of since he doesn’t have the courage to tell him and admit it. How does he deserve any of this?

 

It is only when Lan Wangji moves to the front to softly scrub his chest that he notices Wei Wuxian is sad again. Very, very sad. He mirrors the melancholic look on his own face subconsciously. He drops the towel and takes a hold of Wei Wuxian’s face again. He pecks him on the lips and wipes the tears away with his thumbs.

 

“Lan Zhan..” There is a small hiccup from Wei Wuxian.

 

“Yes, Wei Ying.” Lan Wangji shows him that he is listening, but doesn’t stop kissing his face. “I am here. Please do not cry.”

 

“But I can’t stop.” Wei Wuxian’s voice is weak, fragile.

 

“Then tell me why. I will make it better.”

 

Wei Wuxian takes in a deep breath. He braces himself, not for Lan Wangji or his reaction because he knows that it isn’t what he’s worried about, but rather for his own voice, which he hopes will not betray him now. “I- I’m not supposed still have this body, Lan Zhan,” he whispers, “it was supposed to still be scattered at the bottom of that cliff... and now... I am here, and Mo Xuanyu isn’t.” 

 

It comes out a little slurred, but Lan Wangji can understand it. He doesn’t want Wei Wuxian to feel pressured with his stare, so he lets his face go and picks up the towel to squeeze out the excess water, just to create noise for Wei Wuxian to focus on. He raises his hand up to delicately wipe the salt away from his puffy face, and lets him continue whenever he feels comfortable.

 

Wei Wuxian avoids looking at him, but lets him do it. He starts talking when he finds the words.

 

“I feel.. disconnected from my body because I don’t see the scars I had in my previous life.” His breath hitches as he closes his eyes, “those marks..” and he bites his lip, “they made it mine.” He feels the tears come back. “And I feel sad because Mo Xuanyu sacrificed himself, because he felt like nothing else mattered, and I have felt that way before too, and I miss the time before the war, because I had muscles and I was strong, and now I feel too small, too fragile and I hate it.” He lowers his head in defeat, his body curling, and he hugs his bent knees in front of him. He wants to hide. 

 

“I.. used to be tough and could endure a lot, but now.. sometimes I feel like I could break at any moment. Sometimes I tie my robes around my waist, and it’s so thin and I feel bad, because I know I can't build muscles like the ones I had before.”

 

Lan Wangji’s hold on the towel tightens. His hand halts in its movement as he lowers it to rest against at the edge of the tub. And he has been the one who has suggested a bath. He has been the one who has made Wei Ying undress.

 

He feels like he needs to apologize for that, but he is not sure if that is the correct thing to do. He is not sure of what to say.

 

“Wei Ying..” he begins. He means a lot of things with that. It hurts me that you are hurting. I want to make it not hurt. I want to take the pain away from you. Please let me take it away from you.  

 

He stutters. “I..” You will not break. Ever again. I will make sure. 

 

He wants to tell him so many things, but there might be too many. He wants to say, Wei Ying, please do not feel like that, please believe that I will always love you because it is you, I love you for you, and I will always help you. I will always be with you, be there for you, will always protect you, will always tell you that you are deserving of it, and you do not have to feel fragile, you are not weak, just look at how hard you have already worked to form your core, just look at how magnificent your mind is, and I miss the time before the war too, but I do not think there is a reason to think about that anymore, there is no reason to feel that way about Mo Xuanyu

 

No. Lan Wangji has not been the one to experience a body switch. He knows he has no say in that matter.

 

Instead he lets out a slow, soft huff of a sigh. “Let me wash your hair for you,” he says after, with the most affectionate voice he can. Thank you for telling me.

 

Wei Wuxian likes that idea.

 

“Okay.”

 

Now that he is not talking anymore, it is easier to breathe. He just thinks and lets the tears fall freely. They are slowing down though, he notices.

 

While Lan Wangji washes his hair, adds soap, rubs his fingertips against his scalp and detangles the wet strands, he has time to find the words he wants to use. “Wei Ying is very strong,” he ends up saying. “Wei Ying has already worked very hard for it, and he will only get stronger. I have seen it.” He thinks about all the times they have sparred after returning to Cloud Recesses together, and how determined Wei Wuxian usually gets the longer the sessions drag on. He also thinks about the times Wei Wuxian has decided to not end his meditation early, and the times he has unsheathed Suibian and managed to wield it a bit longer than previously.

 

His hands in Wei Wuxian’s hair stop, and he rinses it. Then he reaches to the side to grab one of his favourite hair oils – the one that he has noticed Wei Wuxian taking a liking to. He spreads it on his fingers and starts working it through the wet ends, his touch soothing and the pull gentle. The tangles start to loosen. “Wei Ying is not very… patient, but he has shown very promising results in his training. He has become more patient. He will be rewarded for it.”

 

When he’s pleased with the result he stops combing the oil. He gathers the hair into his palms and brings it over Wei Wuxian’s right shoulder to rest on the front side, leaving his neck exposed. His hair curls slightly when it’s wet, resembling something that’s drawn with a thick paintbrush and a lot of black ink, and against his skin it makes it all look like a beautiful, intimate drawing in one of those indecent spring books with a bit more delicate of an art style than the usual.

 

Lan Wangji cannot help it. He sighs quietly and his hands land on Wei Wuxian’s pointy shoulders. From there they drag themselves to the middle of his back where he presses his thumbs to the sides of his spine, against the hot skin, and he starts moving them up and down in a massaging motion. “Wei Ying has also gotten… new scars,” he reminds him, and winces internally when he thinks about the one Jin Ling had given him. “But he is not weak. And his body, to me,” he lowers his voice, “is very.. enticing. He himself.. is charming.” 

 

Being able to formulate his thoughts so well and say them out loud like he intended to makes him pleased. Lan Wangji slightly smiles to himself. “Wei Ying will always be Wei Ying,” he says while continuing the massage. "No matter the body."

 

Wei Wuxian thinks he can hear the smile in his voice. He feels a kiss being pressed at the center of his neck, followed by another one a little bit lower, and another one, and another one, all of them following the sharp bumps that are his spine. The sensation makes him shiver even when he's submerged in warm bathwater.

 

When the lips leave his skin, he knows he wants them back. “Please don’t stop.”

 

“I have washed your hair,” Lan Wangji informs him, “but we can continue on the bed, if you wish.” By saying that, he is giving Wei Wuxian options to choose from. He can either continue on with his day, or he can go to bed. He can decide to sleep, or to receive a massage. He can cuddle with Lan Wangji if he wants to, or then he can–

 

“My opinion, of course, might be a bit influenced by favouritism,” Lan Wangji interrupts his thoughts by admitting, on purpose using the most sophisticated wording, “but I do not think Wei Ying needs to consider any other opinions in this world.”

 

Wei Wuxian feels himself melt. Hearing the love and care in Lan Wangji’s voice has a numbing effect on the flurry of negative thoughts inside him. It’s perfect, Lan Zhan is perfect. Wei Wuxian believes it, really believes it, and nods.

 

When he steps out of the tub, Lan Wangji finds a soft towel and helps him dry. He dresses Wei Wuxian in a clean red robe. It is Wei Wuxian’s favourite, the one that he prefers to wear more often than any of the other ones, which means it is also Lan Wangji’s favourite, and something that looks utterly, devastatingly beautiful on him. It reminds Lan Wangji of the warm heart that Wei Wuxian has, the depth of his love he longs to give out to people around him. It reminds him of the fierceness in him when he is in bed or on the battlefield, and it especially reminds him of the moments when he is just himself, like now, and is letting only Lan Wangji see it.

 

There are so many old memories to it, and they hold so much meaning that Lan Wangji thinks his heart will burst. It is so Wei Ying.

 

Lan Wangji stops to stand in front of him and brings his hands on his waist. It is thin, a very beautiful kind of thin, and being able to hold it in a way that his own hands look much bigger than they are makes Lan Wangji’s breath quicken. He loves touching Wei Wuxian like this, and he only hopes that through his possessive but protective hold that the other one will understand that. He caresses his sides and leans in close, kissing his lips and jaw, and then presses their cheeks together, brushing his mouth on the shell of his ear.

 

“Wei Ying is perfect.”

 

It’s a whisper so honest that Wei Wuxian thinks his legs will give out. He tries to hide his reaction by forcing out a huff in tiny amusement. “Aiyah... Lan Zhan, Lan Zhan… If you keep saying things like that, I can’t help but to believe it. You leave me no choice. How unjust of you.”

 

“That is the intention.” If one were to listen closely, they would have been able to recognize a hint of smugness in Lan Wangji’s voice. “And, I do not lie,” he adds as he draws back and looks into the other’s eyes. They are the same gray as always, but they have reddened waterlines and some of the lashes have gotten stuck together because of the wetness. 

 

When they stand like this, Wei Wuxian is slightly shorter than Lan Wangji, a bit more petite, yes, but not by much, and as much as it hurts – the idea of losing traces of the old one – the new Wei Ying has already occupied his mind long enough to fill all the gaps. However, back then Lan Wangji had not been allowed to touch him like this, so he really had not had much to compare to.

 

Lan Wangji thinks he has to kiss him again. There is simply no other option. His hold on Wei Wuxian tightens even more as he brings their bodies together. He looks down and takes his sweet time to hover his mouth over his, partly teasing himself and partly taunting Wei Wuxian.

 

Talking at this point feels too intrusive. Wei Wuxian decides to whisper. “Are you trying to make me kiss you?” he asks, also looking down, almost closing his eyes. They are breathing the same air and it feels so comfortable, being with Lan Zhan like this.

 

“I am.”

 

“Hmph.”

 

“Is it working?”

 

“Maybe. You’re so witty today, Lan Zhan. Who taught you? I like it.” 

 

Wei Wuxian watches as his soulmate’s lips quirk up in a small but beautiful smile, right in front of his still puffy face. He sighs out of a newly born need and closes the gap between them with a slow kiss.

 

“I don’t deserve you,” he mumbles into his mouth, and it earns him a light bite on his lower lip.

 

“You do.” 

 

“Prove me wrong.”

 

“I will.”

 

Wei Wuxian’s hands find themselves cupping Lan Wangji’s face. Then the two of them are kissing again, harder, hungrier, and Lan Wangji knows he has succeeded. He thinks, maybe now he can finally say it – the sentence he has been holding back. 

 

“Wei Ying…” he says between kisses. 

 

“Mmh.. Yeah?” Wei Wuxian prompts, eyes half lidded and cheeks flushed. He lets out a small ahh-nn when he opens his mouth for Lan Wangji, and his tongue touches his, before they separate again.

 

“Let me show you how desirable you are.” 

 

Wei Wuxian stops thinking at that. He inhales sharply and moans into the kiss, open mouthed and high pitched. Lan Wangji leans against him and bends him back a little, slides one hand to his lower back while the other tightens where it rests on his waist, and pushes himself against him firmly. They stay pressed against each other for a while until Lan Wangji pulls back, determined.

 

Wei Wuxian catches a quick flash of something like dark desire in Lan Wangji’s eyes before he is turned around and is pushed to stand in front of a mirror that tints only slightly to the shade of bronze, placed on top of their wooden dresser. Lan Wangji is quick in his actions when he grabs a handful of his damp hair to get it out of the way, kissing his neck and sucking a mark there. 

 

Wei Wuxian sees his own reflection then, with flushed cheeks and a dishevelled look, wearing blood red that is enhanced by the mirror’s shade, and he looks at his own face, his own mouth that has been left gaping open and hasn’t closed yet, and the hand that holds his waist and slides to the front to hold his his lower belly, the size of it bigger than Wei Wuxian’s own, and then he looks down and sees – not too surprisingly – his cock poke from underneath the thin fabric. 

 

He pants as Lan Wangji brings his other hand around. It goes to caress his chest. There’s a bite on his neck and he whines, and Lan Wangji decides that this is the perfect moment to push his lower body against Wei Wuxian’s behind and let him know just how much he wants.

 

Wei Wuxian lets out a soft gasp, and because he really needs something to do with his hands, he just puts them on top of Lan Wangji’s and holds them by the wrists, following his movements. Lan Wangji stops biting and licks at the mark he has just left, then rests his jaw on the other’s right shoulder. With the hand that roams around Wei Wuxian’s chest he proceeds to brush his two fingers at his nipple through the fabric, teasing and pressing on it until it’s perked enough to show through. He does the same for the other one while his hold on Wei Wuxian’s abdomen gets firmer.

 

“Mine,” he dares to say out loud, the impact of the word striking Wei Wuxian as it lands next to his ear, causing his cock to twitch. Lan Wangji stares at him through the mirror. His right hand is the one on the belly, so he glides it down and without hesitation slides it over his cock, cupping it and giving it a squeeze through the fabric. This earns him a small hitch of breath from Wei Wuxian, who also parts his legs just the tiniest bit.

 

“No matter which body. Wei Ying is still Wei Ying, and he is mine.” Lan Wangji repeats the motion and it causes so much dry friction that it really just gets Wei Wuxian harder.

 

“You respond so nicely. To me,” he says, praising him, and when Wei Wuxian tries to retort by opening his mouth to talk, he is silenced with a shhh.

 

Lan Wangji gives him no time to dwell on his thoughts as he removes his hand and starts opening the robe, undoing the ties that had, ironically, not been closed for too long. When Wei Wuxian realizes he’s about to see himself then, naked and scar-clean, he tries to move his head to the side and avert his eyes from the sight. Lan Wangji has none of that so he hums, his voice a reassurance as well as a warning, and grabs Wei Wuxian by the jaw with his left hand, turning his head to face the mirror again while also bringing his right one back to work on his cock, working it to full length with gentle but dry strokes.

 

“Keep your eyes on the mirror,” Lan Wangji tells him, and the sincerity of it makes it a very powerful threat with just the missing unless you want me to do the exact thing you least want me to do, leaving the rest to his imagination. Wei Wuxian whimpers against it but obeys. 

 

To his displeasure Lan Wangji notices that their bodies have slightly shifted again and that they are surely not close enough. He aims to fix that, so he presses his hardened cock right into the middle of Wei Wuxian’s ass. His erection slides down between the cheeks. The feeling is dulled by three layers of robes at least– counting Wei Wuxian’s red one and the two white ones on Lan Wangji – but the latter repeats that motion a few times, pressing really hard so that Wei Wuxian gets the reminder, and then the man whines because he feels it, but it’s not enough.

 

He knows by now that Wei Wuxian will usually start growing impatient very quickly, and that means he might start rambling and teasing soon. He takes the necessary precaution and tells him “Quiet,” as he retracts a little to take off one of his own robes, discarding it to the floor and leaving him with his inner one. He goes back to Wei Wuxian to push him forward. “Bend.”

 

His orders are one worded, but they hold so much authority that Wei Wuxian can’t help but do it. Wei Wuxian feels like he has to support himself so as he bends, he places his right hand against the table. Before his left one can join it, Lan Wangji takes a hold of it and brings it to rest on his lower back. He gathers the hems of the red robe, lifting it all up in one go and exposing his ass to sight and air. He places the fabric into his left hand. “Hold.”

 

Again, Wei Wuxian does as he is told while moaning at the command as well as his position. His fingers that are gripping his own robe tense instantly. He loves the way he can see through the mirror how Lan Wangji is eyeing his bare ass, gaze hungry, and he feels a wave of thrill from being exposed like this, a bit against his will, the consent being previously agreed on their numerous earlier activities and the way Lan Wangji knows his Wei Ying likes it, and so Wei Wuxian decides that he’ll gladly let his husband continue.

 

Lan Wangji grabs both sides of his ass then and starts kneading. He runs his fingers on the round cheeks, squeezing them, making sure that his fingertips leave red marks there, and then he gives them both a little massage, all the while enjoying just the thought of his tight hole, which he teases a bit by thumbing the rim. “Gorgeous like this,” he simply states. “Gorgeous in any way, but especially like this,” he feels like he has to elaborate. “Just for me.”

 

He retreats his right hand working on the right asscheek. Then, before Wei Wuxian can even think about it, Lan Wangji lands a hard slap on it and fixes his attention on the reaction. 

 

It’s a loud ahh! that Wei Wuxian lets out, embarrassment evident in his voice. He feels the sting and the burn of the hit, the type of pain that will subside into a tingly warmth and he loves it, but it also makes him lower his head in shame, a mixture of humiliation and pain clouding his mind, making him even more aroused.

 

His damp hair is loose as it hangs from his down-turned head. Blood rushes into his brain and face, and he’s flushed all the way down to his chest. He pants heavily and tries to cover his mouth by pressing it into the skin of the arm he’s supporting himself with, when the next slap lands on the left side of his ass and it stings again. His yell is muffled as he tries to keep his mouth closed and he frowns, eyes tightly closed, trying to hide his expression.

 

“Red suits you.”

 

Wei Wuxian doesn’t know whether he’s talking about the robe or his ass, or both.

 

He also fails to notice it when Lan Wangji kneels down behind him. Only when he feels a cold finger run from the small of his back down between his asscheeks does he dare take a look, curiosity winning over his shyness. From between his legs he can see Lan Wangji’s thighs, knees against the floor, the layers of white cascading on the sides and his cock under the robe standing heavy and hard, just like his own, which swells at the sight of it. 

 

The same finger teases his hole. He feels it rubbing at his rim, and it continues further until it meets the sensitive skin of his balls and then slides on the underside of his throbbing dick. 

 

“Lan Zha-n–nnnh..” 

 

Lan Wangji flicks his cock once and that draws another whimper out of him. 

 

"Nnh!" 

 

So cruel. So good. Lan Wangji does it again, because he loves Wei Wuxian and he loves his reactions. He stops him from trying to move his hips away.

 

When the hand retreats, Wei Wuxian feels his cheeks being spread. He experiences the sensation of his stomach flipping in anticipation. Lan Wangji kneads some more and starts biting, sinking his teeth into the warm, tingling flesh. He makes sure to bite down hard, so that Wei Wuxian will shudder, and then he makes his way to the middle. He licks a long, wet trail upwards, twice, causing shivers to run up Wei Wuxian’s back.

 

“Ohhh…” His knuckles are white from holding the dresser's edge so hard.

 

Lan Wangji is eager to dive in. He starts by pressing kisses right on his hole and suckling on the sensitive rim. Wei Wuxian mewls, needy and open for his tongue. He knows he is being rewarded for his patience when he feels the wet muscle push in. His hole throbs as he clenches out of reflex, until his breaths get heavy and with every exhale he’s able to relax bit by bit. His little noises fill the room, accompanied by the wet licking and sucking sounds that Lan Wangji is making. 

 

After Lan Wangji pulls back, he leaves only the tip of his tongue to play with the hole. He teases him with a circling motion. In Wei Wuxian’s brain that registers as a ticklish sensation, and he can’t stop a high pitched, drawn out sigh from escaping. 

 

“Haa-ahh..”

 

He tries to push himself closer to the other's mouth, but Lan Wangji only retreats to keep the distance and does it again, and then moves one finger to prod at the entrance together with his tongue, sliding its tip inside and pulling back. Wei Wuxian’s hips buckle and his legs almost give out. Lan Wangji stops, gathers spit in his mouth so he can finish with a wet kiss on his hole. His saliva leaves the area cold and hot at the same time. He decides that it’s enough, just like that. He gives the reddened cheeks two departing kisses.

 

“N-no..!” Wei Wuxian protests, the lack of warmth and stimulation leaving him desperate for more. “Don’t stop–”

 

“Legs together, Wei Ying,” he hears his husband interrupt. The command causes precome to leak out of his cock, making his slit damp. His body moves before he even considers it. He closes his legs and, oh god, that means Lan Wangji is probably going to–

 

Wei Wuxian senses the man getting up and untying his inner robe. When he’s done, Lan Wangji grabs a hold of his own cock and gives it a few strokes with his fist. He stares at the work of art in front of him that is Wei Wuxian’s marked bottom, and lets out a shaky exhale. 

 

The idea of taking him raw is delicious, almost too inviting, but he knows it would not be pleasant, and that is why he has decided on an alternative.

 

“Good. Keep them closed,” he orders, giving his ass a gentle, comforting pet, and leaving to fetch the oil they use as lubrication. He wants Wei Ying wet. Wei Wuxian nods soundlessly by himself. He wants to be good, and that means he will be good and wait.

 

When Lan Wangji is back, Wei Wuxian looks at him through the mirror, courageous enough again to raise his head. He steadies his breathing as Lan Wangji pours some oil into his right hand, but gasps when the man adds it in between his asscheeks too. The wetness trickles down slowly, makes him clench when he feels it sliding across his hole and drip down his inner thighs. 

 

He sees Lan Wangji abandon the bottle on the floor while taking a hold of Wei Wuxian’s hip with his left hand. At the same time he guides his wetted length between his thighs, right under his ass, into the tight space there. Lan Wangji pushes in and keeps a hold of his own base, and every time he pulls back he goes over his own length with more oil from his hand, pushing it in along with the thrusts. The slide becomes much easier after that and he groans from the pit of his guts. “Tighter,” and Wei Wuxian complies. 

 

With the way Wei Wuxian has to tense his body, he is slightly shaking.

 

On every thrust he can feel Lan Wangji’s tip brush along his crack and the skin of his perineum, and it’s so wet, so slick, so good, and then he’s panting louder, feeling the anticipating throb of his hole getting more noticeable as his body gets nudged forwards from the pushes. 

 

“Oh.. oh, oh.. Aaahhh..” 

 

Lan Wangji’s cock is a bit curved up, and Wei Wuxian thinks it fits the space between his legs perfectly.

 

“Oh, you’re so hard.. I can feel it...like this, god.. You’re so big.” He throws his head down to look between his legs. “Do you like fucking me like this? Ah–” and the tip of Lan Wangji’s cock reaches his balls as he starts going faster to get more friction. It's filthy – just the way he likes it. “Do you like me all wet? Yeah, keep going.. I’m so wet for you, yeah.. Yeah, ah… How will you ever fit–inside, ah..”

 

“Shut up.”

 

“Ah.. No..”

 

It’s not that much the act that makes him blabber, but more the thought and the way that Lan Wangji holds him and how deliciously he slides in between. It’s such a tight grip on his waist, with both of his hands – one clean and the other one oiled – pulling him back to meet his thrusts, and since his inner thighs are really sensitive, he tries to squeeze them together to feel Lan Wangji, and also to be a good boy for him so he can–

 

His train of thoughts stops and gets stuck in a loop.

 

Good boy.

 

“Lan Zhan.. Ah.. Can you please tell me I’m good? Please?” he begs. He can’t shake off the idea from his head. Praise me like you always do. “I want to be good for you, I really want to, I need it, I need to hear it–”

 

“Wei Ying is very good,” Lan Wangji says as he thrusts faster. Every time he pushes forward, his lower abdomen meets the skin of his soft, plump ass.

 

“Haah…”

 

“Wei Ying is perfect.” He gives him another slap on the right buttock.

 

"Nnh!" 

 

Wei Wuxian tries to pull away, but that only earns him a bruise on his hip bone. As the praises register in his brain he loses himself in it. The few times that Lan Wangji slips out on the pull-back and accidentally slides against his asshole and upwards before fixing the angle and going between the thighs again, he gets reminded that he really desperately wants to get fucked, preferably now, and since he has already begged once, he’s obviously going to do it again. 

 

“Ahhh, it’s so wet. God, I’m so ready. Can’t you just fuck me? I want you to fuck me, I want you to put it inside, Lan Zhan, I want you inside me. Take me, Lan Zhan, please, I don’t need to prepare, just push in raw and–”

 

“Shut. Up.” Lan Wangji emphasizes the words with thrusts as he reaches the slick hand to his front, grabbing Wei Wuxian’s neglected cock and stroking him. “Shut up, and look into the mirror.”

 

“Ah!! Yes, touch me, please go harder.. Oohh..”

 

 He stops his hand.

 

 “Wei Ying.”

 

 It’s a warning.

 

“Haah… Huh??” He raises his head, strands of hair framing his face, and looks up. There's drool at the corner of his mouth.

 

“Mirror.”

 

His eyes find the reflection in front of him, the sight of himself looking absolutely debauched, and Lan Wangji, the cause, looking so flawless while doing it. The hand he has behind his own back is starting to strain a little. “Aah, I’m looking. Now let me come. Please. I’ve been so good, haven’t I? Please tell me so.”

 

“Mn. Yes. Wei Ying has been so good.”

 

“Haahh..”

 

“Wei Ying. Come for me, but look at yourself and know that you are perfect.”

 

Permission granted, he smiles at the word perfect, doesn’t really know why, but he smiles and pants at the sight, of his soulmate, lover, husband, and then he feels – and sees – the hand at his dick move again, and he’s on the highest cloud right before he has Lan Wangji’s index finger at his tip, rubbing his slit so hard that it makes his legs tremble and hips buckle, and he comes, releasing into Lan Wangji’s hand and on the floor.

 

Lan Wangji follows closely. He pulls back a bit before releasing himself in between Wei Wuxian’s asscheeks, right over his asshole where he rubs his tip in with the ejaculation, and he milks it all out with pumps as he lets out a breathy moan. He coats the crack with his seed and makes sure to smear it around with his cock.

 

Perfect.

 

Without any time to rest, Wei Wuxian is being turned around to face Lan Wangji again and kissed fiercely. His hand is sore from holding the robe for so long. He’s relieved when he can let the crumpled hem fall freely at his back. He raises his arms lazily to bring them around Lan Wangji’s neck, grabbing the collar of his robe and sliding it off his shoulders as he receives the kiss. He is focusing on the feeling of the wetness at his behind, between his legs. 

 

The white robe pools around the other’s elbows. When he’s about to start taking off his own, Lan Wangji stops him.

 

“No, leave it on. It looks great on you.” 

 

Wei Wuxian flushes at that and hides his face into the crook of Lan Wangji’s neck. "Okay." The slight pause helps, giving him time to clear his mind. 

 

He tries to change the subject. “I’m so sticky, Lan Zhan… Who would’ve known Hanguang-Jun to be so messy. And right after I just bathed. You’re worse than me, I swear.”

 

Lan Wangji holds his body close. “It is nice. To make a mess. With Wei Ying."

 

Wei Wuxian tries not to show how affected he is by that. He chuckles to cover it up. “Lan Zhan… I know you like cleaning, too. And you like it when I clean, so… Let me clean you, then,” he says, smiling, and breathes in, enjoying the embrace and stroking the hair at the back of Lan Wangji's head, “but let’s do it on the bed, okay?” He looks up at him and pleads. “I’m so tired of standing up.”

 

Indeed, his legs are trembling.

 

Lan Wangji doesn’t protest the idea. He nods and takes a hold of Wei Wuxian’s arms and brings them down from his shoulders, grabbing his palms so he can intertwine their fingers. He kisses him and plays with his fingers for a bit. “Yes. Wei Ying can show me how good he is at cleaning.”

 

That gets a laugh out of Wei Wuxian. He feels delighted. "You didn't even wipe your fingers."  

 

"Wei Ying can clean them too."

 

"Oh my god. Yeah, I will."

 

The bed isn’t far, but there are lots of clothes on it that need to be moved first. When that is done, Wei Wuxian demands Lan Wangji to sit down. He kneels in front of him on the floor and spreads his legs. “Just cleaning, okay? Nothing more," he states, his promise obviously a lie.

 

Lan Wangji loves it. Loves him. “Okay.”

 

Wei Wuxian reaches up, kissing a trail down his chest, all the way down to his crotch. First he takes the dirty hand and licks his fingers clean. It tastes like oil and his own come, and the knowledge of where the fingers have been playing makes him moan around them. 

 

When he's finished he kisses his abdomen and thighs while holding the softened dick in his hand. He slowly brings his mouth to it. He starts by running his tongue over its head, similarly to the way he had worked with the fingers, and just like he has promised, he makes sure to take the tip into his mouth so he can create a small vacuum inside his mouth and suck.

 

Lan Wangji's breath shudders. He is very sensitive. At this rate he’s going to harden again. He tries to compose himself, but his heavy, shaky breathing gives it away. “Do you.. wish to continue?” he asks, just wanting to make sure. Judging by the way Wei Wuxian is sucking him, that might just be the case. 

 

Wei Wuxian nods, maybe a bit too frantically, and twirls his tongue in Lan Wangji’s soft slit, causing the latter’s abdomen to twitch. His body jerks, but he tries to hide it, almost succeeding at it. 

 

“..Stop,” he says, voice strained. 

 

Wei Wuxian does, but looks up with pleading eyes as he tries to stroke the cock back into hardness. Slowly, it is working, and he grins. The sight of him is unruly. The red robe is open from the front – it frames his body so nicely. He is still kneeling and his lips look thoroughly kissed, shining wet with spit. Lan Wangji reaches out his hands to readjust his wet hair, collecting the stray strands from the sides of his face. He brings all of it to rest on his backside. 

 

“Come here,” he tells Wei Wuxian and waits for him to stop and join him on the bed. When he’s close enough Lan Wangji pushes him down, the red robe spreading out underneath him beautifully and his ink black hair dampening the bed where it’s pooling around his head. Lan Wangji hovers over him, places one knee between his thighs and starts kissing his neck. “Since Wei Ying is so eager for more," he pauses to suck right below his jawline, "and was complaining about the lack of marks,” he mutters, against his pulse, very suggestively, “I will make sure there are lots of new ones.”

 

“Ohhh.. Xiandu... Please go easy on me, will you?” His adam's apple moves as he talks and swallows.

 

Lan Wangji huffs. “Will not,” and then he’s sucking on his neck again, leaving behind a trail of red and purple. 

 

Wei Wuxian fists his hands into Lan Wangji’s hair as the latter works on his chest. He listens to how Lan Wangji breathes through his nose as he kisses his skin, especially the area under his collarbones, and he focuses on those little smooching sounds that appear whenever he changes spots.

 

Lan Wangji – true to his nature – is very thorough. He will not miss a spot, so he nibbles and bites and licks Wei Wuxian everywhere, on his sides and on his abdomen, on his sternum and belly button, and he makes sure to leave bite marks at the hip bones as well. 

 

“Wei Ying is my weakness. Cannot go easy on Wei Ying.”

 

His lips are red from all the sucking he has done, and Wei Wuxian thinks he looks incredible. He inhales in adoration. At that point all of Wei Wuxian’s torso has been littered with bruises in the shape of Lan Wangji’s teeth, all of the marked spots slightly wetted with saliva. The air comes in contact with the hot skin, bringing a cold sensation upon it, and he feels whole. He will wear them with pride tomorrow. And the day after. As long as they last. And then he will ask Lan Wangji to give him new ones.

 

"Lan Zhan, please kiss me again," he pleads, and they move in unison to clasp their mouths together in a wet, lustful kiss that leaves both of them breathless. As soon as they have kissed enough to part, Lan Wangji slides down and rests his head on Wei Wuxian's chest, the heaving motion of his ribcage and the rapid beat of his heart contrasting with the tenderness of his hands that are threading through Lan Wangji's hair.

 

A realization suddenly dawns on Lan Wangji.

 

"Wei Ying," he pants and swallows dry. "We need the oil." 

 

"..." 

 

Wei Wuxian thinks it's slightly funny, but even more than that, frustrating, since he definitely wants Lan Wangji inside him as quickly as possible, and he doesn't know if he'll survive if he has to wait. He breathes out a very vulgar fuck.

 

Of course Lan Wangji had forgotten to take it with them when they had decided to move to the bed. The poor man reprimands himself for it for a whole two seconds before the urge to continue wins. “I will go,” he informs him, because of course he does, and with a groan he forces himself to disentangle himself from Wei Wuxian. He drags himself to where he had left the bottle, on the floor next to the dresser. 

 

As soon as he retrieves the item and reaches the vicinity of their sleeping area again, he is being gloriously greeted by the sight of Wei Wuxian with his eyes shut, a lazy fist stroking his own half hard cock, up and down, wrist turning in a playful manner, lips pursed and eyes closed as he tries to suppress the hiss that threatens to break free from the overstimulation. 

 

So impatient.

 

Lan Wangji wastes no time as he climbs back on the bed to resume his previous position on top of his husband. He deposits the vial on the mattress next to Wei Wuxian and catches both of his wrists to pin them above his head. 

 

He stares down with an expression of staged anger, which on Lan Wangji doesn’t appear any different than the one he gets when he's in the middle of a tedious sect leaders’ debate, listening to their utter nonsense, just like in all of those dreadful meetings where his patience is always being tested, the attendees’ insistence on wasting the chief cultivator’s time making his his aura nonchalantly threatening and his overall being dangerous.

 

"Wei Ying touched himself. Did I tell him he could?" 

 

Wei Wuxian blinks up at that, feeling hot from the tone of his voice and the pure, underlying threat. He had just wanted to– and Lan Zhan never said–

 

Lan Wangji takes off his forehead ribbon in a quick motion and ties the two wrists together with practiced ease. Wei Wuxian whines and wiggles his hips as if trying to bring Lan Wangji's attention to his cock. He’s only halfway there– He needs Lan Zhan to help him– He had just wanted to be good–

 

Lan Wangji pays no attention to it as he instead grabs one of the pillows on the bed and taps twice on Wei Wuxian's side, gesturing for him to make space for it to go under his hips. It gives him a nicer angle to work with and definitely a better view.

 

When Wei Wuxian lands his body down on the pillow and spreads his legs more in eagerness, Lan Wangji retrieves the vial and wets his fingers while keeping an eye on him. One hand holds the underside of his left thigh as the other one goes to his entrance. Wei Wuxian gasps in anticipation. 

 

Lan Wangji loves those sounds. He doesn’t hesitate as he starts prodding the rim and slides one digit all the way inside. He watches the cock in front of him intently as he circles the finger around, feeling Wei Wuxian’s hot, tight walls and the bump of his prostate.

 

“Ah… Ahh…” 

 

Wei Wuxian doesn’t need much of it for his cock to harden fully. He just simply likes to beg. “More, Lan Zhan. Give me another one, please.” He grinds his hips down, as if that would help with anything.

 

Lan Wangji approves of the result. He starts moving his finger in an excruciatingly slow pattern, but since Wei Wuxian has asked so nicely, he adds another finger and continues the teasing movements, stretching his entrance.

 

"Oh.. you are so– with your fingers– Lan Zhan! Xiandu! Nnnh… That's why you're so good at playing your guqin. That's why your sect bows down to your inquiry skills. That's why I should also kneel down in front of you every day, ahhh… No wonder you're the highest ranking cultivator right now– Ah! Ah!"

 

He loses his train of thought when he feels Lan Wangji scissor him open, but it doesn't take long for him to get back on track.

 

"Haah...but that's definitely what would be expected from you, Lan Zhan. I think they should make it a rule, or you could, you know, just write it on the wall, something like, unless you know how to fuck Wei Ying with your fingers, you're in no position to be chief cultivator, and if anyone questions it, they can come to me, and see for themselves–"

 

Lan Wangji bites hard at his inner thigh, frowning. The bite hurts and it makes Wei Wuxian whine. 

 

Lan Wangji licks the mark afterwards. "No one else shall come to Wei Ying,” he mumbles against his thigh and kisses it. He really is fighting the urge to just take him. Now.

 

"Aiyah, that hurts so much... Ahh, you have to make it up to me now, Lan Zhan. Can you try and get the good spot– That's the least you can do, I've been waiting for so long, I've been so good, please!"

 

"Not good," Lan Wangji counters his statement, but yet he obeys and curls up his fingers and presses hard at this specific good spot.  

 

Wei Wuxian arches his back and lets out a very erotic sound, voice already raspy from all the high pitched noises he has been making, all the senseless words he has been spewing since they have started, and from the crying from earlier. "More..."

 

Lan Wangji does it again, and only because he can't really say no to him.

 

"Yes! Ahh, right there! Ah, Lan Zhan, you know me so well, you know all of my body, yeah. I will never question you again, I swear, Lan Zhan, please– Yes, that's it! There!" He throws his head back and tries to fight the forehead ribbon around his wrists.

 

He sounds so wrecked, but clearly it is not enough. Lan Wangji wants to ruin him even more. If Wei Wuxian wants him to be rougher, then he will be, but he figures he would just need to silence him so he can still take his sweet time appreciating his body first.

 

He moves his left hand up and presents his fingers in front of Wei Wuxian's mouth.

 

"Suck." 

 

Wei Wuxian whines and complies, taking the digits inside and swirling his tongue around them. Mouth occupied, he closes his eyes as he swallows, tongue tightly brushing against the fingers.

 

"Good." Lan Wangji's fingers start fucking in and out of his mouth, and Wei Wuxian loses himself to it. He feels absolutely owned, being fucked from both ends like that, and there's nothing he can do, other than to take it and take it and take it, and there's no other place in the world where he'd rather be. 

 

His loud moans become muffled and tears form at the corners of his eyes. When Lan Wangji adds a third finger into his mouth, he massages at the very far back of his tongue and Wei Wuxian has to relax his throat so he doesn't gag. His mouth is being forced to stay open, head slightly tilted to the side, his whole being under Lan Wangji's mercy. Everytime Lan Wangji pushes his fingers in and then slides them out, more spit gets on his jaw.

 

He tries to talk, but it comes out like any speech would when someone has half a palm down their mouth. He's so desperate for more. His words are barely understandable, but Lan Wangji gets the message, proceeding to take the digits out of his mouth and grabbing the base of his cock and squeezing it, while the other hand slides a third finger inside him and starts spreading him open.

 

Now, free to talk again, Wei Wuxian's pleads become desperate. "Please, please, Lan Zhan, please, I need you, Lan Zhan, Lan Zhan..."

 

When he says his name like that, Lan Wangji just has to kiss him. After a long, open mouthed kiss that ends with a trail of spit connecting them, Lan Wangji allows himself to take a second to stare at the beauty displayed in front of him while jerking him off slowly.

 

Wei Wuxian like this is such a sight – legs spread open, hands restricted, the deep shade of his red robe contrasting with his fair skin, his mouth hanging open and drooling, his chest going up and down as he breathes heavily, tears dripping down from his eyes, and the way he is looking up at Lan Wangji with so much love and affection, his whole being absolutely wrecked.

 

Lan Wangji glances at his awaiting hole and the cock he's stroking, thumbing the slit, knowing perfectly well how it feels for him. Wei Wuxian's legs twitch at the act. Lan Wangji lowers his head down to repay him the service from earlier, with the intention of just getting him on the edge faster. His lips close around his sensitive tip as he plays with it, tasting the bitter precome oozing from it. 

 

Wei Wuxian thinks Lan Wangji looks so unfairly pretty even when doing that. His eyes are closed so that his eyelashes appear more distinctive, and most of his hair has been tucked behind his ears. Some long strands on his temples fall down, framing his delicate features, and Wei Wuxian doesn't even notice the fourth finger that enters him, or the way he is being spread wide, wet and open, so easily.

 

Lan Wangji drags all of his fingers at his prostate for one last time before his mouth lets go of his erection with a pop. He goes up once more to kiss Wei Wuxian's lower dantian, the area where he knows his new golden core will someday settle. He removes his fingers from inside him and prepares himself with the oil again.

 

When he's done he angles his achingly hard cock at the gaping entrance and pushes inside in one go. He knows he can, and he thinks Wei Wuxian should be rewarded like that for having been so patient for so long. He had asked for it after all.

 

"Ohh! Yes! Lan Zhan!"

 

"Yes?"

 

"Uuhhh…" Wei Wuxian doesn't have anything coherent left to say. "Always… Ahh– So big.. Xiandu… Ahh…" 

 

Lan Wangji has to agree. Wei Wuxian’s channel is so hot and tight, but he has done such a good job at preparing him. The slide is not completely effortless, but he doesn't have to force it either. With the way Wei Wuxian is constantly relaxing and clenching around him, it just basically sucks in his length more.

 

"Yes," he mirrors his words back to him, "Big for Wei Ying. Because Wei Ying likes it."

 

And he's fucking right.

 

Lan Wangji starts moving then, and with extremely slow rolls of his hips he pulls back and pushes back in, hard , repeating this motion multiple times until Wei Wuxian starts moaning again, delirious from pleasure to the point that he doesn't have any energy to blabber anymore. He gives into the sensation of just laying there, open and wanting and needing to be fucked. He wants to forget his existence. He wants to forget who he is, what his name is, what his past is, and he wants Lan Wangji to be the one to do it. 

 

He does lose himself, little by little when Lan Wangji drags his cock inside him, back and forth, only speeding up every now and then when he subconsciously starts chasing his own pleasure. When he slows down again, Wei Wuxian has already gotten a taste of something more, so he asks for it, voice weak and mind floating, thoughts scattering.

 

"Faster," he says, panting, and Lan Wangji complies.

 

While the pace quickens, the strain around Wei Wuxian's wrists stays the same. It is a constant reminder of restraint. His body follows the back and forth movements of the other man helplessly, and he can feel the ribbon loosen and tighten along with the thrusts. Those short seconds of relief give him false hope of the freedom that he could have, the hope that his hands could become unbound if someone were to just open the knot, and he instinctively tries to pull his hands down, which just makes his wrists hurt in turn, and his body pulls itself up to help it.

 

Lan Wangji notices this. He could unbind his hands, but Wei Wuxian needs to let go and lose himself and forget. He also looks very pretty tied up like this, and it would be a shame to spoil the sight so soon.

 

Lan Wangji lowers himself to lean over Wei Wuxian as he adjusts the position of his own knees, giving him a better angle and allowing him to bottom out faster. He fucks him hard with slap sounds coming from where their skin connects each time, and Lan Wangji knows as he's breathing heavily that he's getting closer to release with each thrust.

 

Wei Wuxian keeps repeating his name, and the sight of him lost in bliss like that is everything Lan Wangji has been after. 

 

His precious Wei Ying – so well loved and so very thoroughly fucked.

 

He presses their foreheads together as he bends him, locking his arms under his legs and lifting them up as he reaches to kiss him on the mouth, aroused and desperately wanting him to hear it when he whispers, "I love you, my Wei Ying." This change of their position lets him reach even deeper.

 

Wei Wuxian hears it well, but doesn't know what else to say back, other than the endless repeats of, "Lan Zhan, my Lan Zhan, oh, Lan Zhan, I love you, I love you too, you're amazing, Lan Zhan…keep going, I'm so close, I'm so close," coated with the sweet tone of overwhelming pleasure. 

 

"Ah, I’m yours.. Ah, ah, only yours…Let me come?… Xiandu.. Hanguang-Jun.. Please.. " He pleads between heavy pants.

 

Lan Wangji groans into his mouth as he thrusts hard, so hard that the bed creaks.

 

Naturally, what Wei Ying asks is what Wei Ying gets.

 

Lan Wangji kisses him roughly and bites his lower lip. He continues right until Wei Wuxian whimpers. The noises get cut off  by the slight convulsions in his abdomen, and Lan Wangji only holds himself back until Wei Wuxian has released between them. He lets go of his own restraint then, forgets to continue the kiss as he breathes a heavy, controlled moan into Wei Wuxian's mouth as he comes inside him and rides out his orgasm until his hips instinctively slow down. He stills eventually, the small twitches of aftershock making him thrust only a few times after, coaxing out small whines from Wei Wuxian’s overstimulated body.

 

He feels blinded, and so does Wei Wuxian. Neither of them have the energy to speak. Lan Wangji sits up on his knees reluctantly and lets Wei Wuxian's legs fall free at his sides. He leans over to open the complicated knot of the ribbon. Then, as if he hadn’t just gotten his release, he's back on fours on top him, kissing the man below him lazily and enjoying the aftermath. 

 

Wei Wuxian's hands come up to hold the sides of his head, and Lan Wangji lowers himself down to lay on top of him, softened dicks touching so very nicely and his left elbow leaning on the mattress. He takes his right hand to Wei Wuxian's belly, dragging his fingers all over where he has released, spreading his semen around without shame and then bringing up the hand to lick his fingers clean right between their mouths, interrupting their kiss.

 

Wei Wuxian’s eyelids flutter as he fights to keep them open. “Lan Zhan...” he mumbles, holding a serious but a suggestive tone, his arms resting on the others shoulders, thinking about kissing those swollen lips again. He pushes himself up to do just that. “Just look at what you have done,” he speaks against his lips and drops back down as he pouts. “Now you will have to bathe me again… I can’t believe it. How can you be so dirty? You keep the jingshi all clean no problem but you always leave me like this. This is a mess, Lan Zhan. I cleaned us up but you messed it up again.”

 

“...”

 

He might be exaggerating, but it makes it even funnier, he thinks. He can’t stop a smile from spreading on his face, breaking his facade. “Hey, Lan Zhan. Let’s bathe together. Can we? I can’t do it myself, after all. And now you’re dirty too. Hm. Lan Zhan…?” He playfully nudges his hips. “Lan-er-gege , you were so rough with me… I can’t feel my legs, please carry me to the tub…” and his arms are hugging Lan Wangji as he brings him closer and mumbles sweetly into his ear. “I will let you take care of me. I know you like doing that.”

 

And as if Lan Wangji hadn’t been the one fucking him just moments earlier, his confidence unparallelled, that promise suddenly breaks him. In a good way.

 

Yes. He will take care of Wei Ying. He will do anything for Wei Ying. He gives him a fond smile and leans in to kiss him once more. Another bath it is.