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Wait for me, wherever you are.

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"Hey. This is Tobin. Sorry I missed your call. I probably lost my phone. Try calling Christen instead and if it's you Chris - I'm sorry for losing my phone again. Love you. Bye."

~~~

(august 2029)
"Hi, Tobin. Miles lost his first tooth today and he can't find it! That's so typical him and well you. He's definitely coming after you Tobs. But I don't know what to do now. What about the tooth fairy? Maybe the tooth fairy will just come after the second tooth falls out. His other upper front tooth is already wobbly. Okay yes, I'm just going to wait for that one to come out."

(september 2029)
"Hey, Tobin. You won't believe what I just saw at the mall. You know the mall Miles always wants to go because it has this awesome ball pit? I just saw some weird guy with a mullet. He looked exactly like Joe Exotic from that Tiger King series we watched during the quarantine. Wild times huh. Anyhow, I just remembered that you hated that hairstyle. It really looks horrible Tobs. I can't believe people still walk around like that. I don't know why called. It's stupid. Miss you Tobin."

(october 2029)
“Tobin. Oh my God. I'm so furious right now. Miles and I just went to this little costume store where you bought that Harry Potter costume for him last year. You know Miles has been in a fairy phase since his second tooth fell out and I told him all about the tooth fairy. We even watched that tooth fairy movie. The one with the Rock. Well, he really likes fairies now. He's really into glitter and stuff like that. Okay back to the story. So we went to store and of course he headed straight to the fairy and princess section but then this woman who was there with her daughter, I guess, told him he was in the girls' section. She practically told him, a five-year-old, to get lost, Tobin. Can you believe it, Tobs? It 2029! I imagined we as a society would be over these stereotypical gender norms by now. I should have told her that he has two mommies. It probably would have blown her damn mind. I just wished you could have been there Tobin. You and your chill vibe would have been perfect to deescalate the situation."

(november 2029)
"Hi Tobs. You now that but tomorrow is Thanksgiving and I'm super stressed. I still have to buy a turkey. We're still going to your parents even though you can't make it this year. I missed you the last couple of days a lot Tobin. It's hard you know. Thanksgiving preparations are hard to do alone. Miles misses you too which makes things not easier. Can't you just come home? Thanksgiving is also hard if you don't know what to be thankful for. I know, I know. I should be thankful for Miles but 2029 has been just shitty Tobin. Years that end in a nine somehow suck for me. Even 2009. I lost against you in the NCAA final, remember? I hated you back then a tiny bit. I love you, Tobin. I'm thankful for you. Always. I'm always gonna be thankful for you."

(dezember 2029)
"God Tobin. I'm forty today. I feel old now. I swear to God Tobin I have more gray hair than normal hair. I look like an old lady. I never saw a gray hair on you. What is your secret Tobin? I spent the most of day thinking back about your 40th birthday. That was definitely one of the best days ever. Miles loved Disneyland so much that we had to promise him to come back very very soon. Do you remember that? I guess you weren't opposed to the idea. I love you so much for the way you showed Miles around the park. Maybe it's because you're sometimes like a big kid yourself but Miles just loves you so much. Sometimes I worry I will never be as good with him like you. I worry about a lot of things Tobin. I worry about you. I hope you're good. Honestly, I'm just glad that this year is gonna be over soon."

(january 2030)
"Hi Tobin. Today was a good day. A really good day. We went sledding today with your brother and his little ones. It was so much fun. Jeff and you are sometimes so similar. It always astounds me. Miss you Tobin. Miles had the time of his life as well. He loves playing with his cousins. I'm really proud of him. He's just very good with smaller kids you know. Maybe it's because of your good genes."

(february 2030)
"Ugh, Tobin. I had a work dinner today you know I hate those. They're always boring and everyone is uncomfortable. You can see the passion die in their eyes, Tobin. How am I supposed to get them to support the foundation when they're asleep. You would know exactly what to do
Tobin. I need your chill but enthusiastic vibe. I need you by my side, Tobin. The dinner would have been much more fun with you. I always loved how we would make fun of the boring rich people."

(march 2030)
"Hey Tobs. It's Miles's sixth birthday today. He looks so much like you already. He's just as dorky as you as well. I love our kid. I know every mom thinks their kid is the best but I honestly think we hit the jackpot with that one. I almost cried today in front of him when he came into our room and told me that he misses you but he missed me too even though I was technically there and that he's glad I'm back now. He gave me a peck on the cheek Tobin and told me that it's gonna be okay. He is an angel, Tobin. He really is like you. I'm glad I seem to be happier now. I know that I wasn't for a long time and he must have sensed it. I still miss you every day."

(april 2030)
"Tobin I can't believe you missed this. I'm so sad you're missing all the milestones. Miles had his first soccer practice today. I'm probably biased but he crushed it. He's a natural. Maybe the USMNT will have a chance to win in a few years. You know I'm joking. I haven't forgotten about our deal not to force our kids to play soccer. It's actually a funny story Tobin. He came to me after school one day and said that his friend Jonathan was going to join the soccer club. He asked me if I knew was soccer was and then proceeded to explain it to me. Tobin our son mansplained soccer to me. I nearly died laughing. I told him that I knew soccer very well and that both his mommies were once soccer players. I can't wait for him to be older and laugh with me about it. The soccer coach is another mom at the school by the way. I think she looked a bit shocked when I enrolled him. She asked if I wanted to train the kids with her sometime. Maybe I'm gonna do that. Would be funny if my first ever training job was training six-year-olds. I bet you would love to train him."

(may 2030)
“Happy Birthday Tobin. We're going to Disneyland today to celebrate you. I want Miles to be happy on your birthday. Maybe it will become a tradition. I showed him pictures of you playing soccer yesterday and he painted you with a big soccer ball at your feet. You would have loved the picture. He must have inherited your artistic skills. He bites his lip the same way you do when he's concentrating. It looks adorable. I miss your adorable face, Tobin. I miss everything about you. I miss waking up next to you. I miss you holding me. I miss you playing with Miles. I miss doing life with you Tobin. Love you always."

(june 2030)
"Dammit Tobin. I knew it was going to be hard but I couldn't prepare for today at all. It has been one year since you've been gone. I hate life without you. Honestly, sometimes I'm just living because of Miles. He is so sweet you know. We all went to your grave today and he just laid down his flowers and talked to you. He told you all about Jonathan and his soccer club. He told you how much he misses you and sees you every dog he sees. I guess because you told him that one time you envied dogs so much and wanted to be one in a next life. But Tobin I don't want you to be a dog. I want you to be here with me. I don't want to stand at your grave. I just want June 4th to be a normal boring day. I want to wake up next to my sexy wife and walk our kid to the school and just have a normal fucking life. Why did you have to die Tobin? Just come back, please. I can't even be mad at the driver who crashed into our car because he's dead as well. But Tobin sometimes I'm so mad at the universe. Sometimes I'm mad at you for leaving us. I know it's stupid. I miss you, Tobin. I miss you with every living fiber in my body. We all do. Be safe Tobin and wait for me okay? Wait for me wherever you are.