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Sober Thoughts

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Mark was absolutely shit faced.

He went to some club to ‘drink away his sorrows’ as he would say it. To forget that one person that always haunted him. To finally forget his feelings and have some fun.

What he didn’t expect was to run into that one person in the club. And he also didn’t understand why the other was completely sober and looking at him with those warms eyes, as if he cared.

As if they never fought and parted ways. As if they never became strangers, but met again. As if they never glared holes into each other’s back when they were in classes together. As if they never pushed past each other roughly in the hallways.

As if they still were like how they used to be.


“What’re you doing here?”, Mark slurred and he could hear the tanned male in front of him scoff.

“I’m here to bring you home”, the honey-like voice, that was always filled with hate and despise, now sounded soft and sweet.

Mark furrowed his eyebrows. “You are not my friend”, he stated. Something- what seemed like hurt- flashed through the other’s eyes, but quickly disappeared. So quickly that Mark hadn’t noticed it in the drunken state he was in.

“You’re not mine either.”

“Then why do you want to bring me home?”, Mark looked at the familiar face of the male in front of him. The big brown eyes stared right back at him, like always.

“Because all of your actual ‘friends’ were too busy to come and pick you up themselves”, the other grabbed onto Mark’s arms with a sigh, trying to stop the older from stumbling away.

“And they called you? Out of all people!?”, he exclaimed while looking at the tired-looking younger in front of him, “I hate you!”

“I know that Minhyu- Mark”, the other sighed, quickly correcting his slip up, while shuffling out of the club, still holding onto Mark as if his life depended on it.

“No. I don’t think you know”, Mark stopped walking and grabbed the other by his shoulders, turning him around with a surprising amount of strength, “I hate you so much, it makes me sick.”

The other could do nothing but look at him with empty eyes. “Thanks for clearing that out”, he muttered and wanted to continue walking, but Mark’s iron grip on his shoulders kept him in place.

”I hate how I can feel your stare from the other side of the room. I hate how nervous and insecure you make me. I hate how I want to change every aspect of me, just so that you wouldn’t judge me like that. I hate how everyone thinks that we dislike each other with passion! I hate how that makes me act like you disgust me. I hate how we became strangers. I hate how we seemed to forget everything that defined us and that we’re different people now.”

The other opened his mouth to speak, but Mark continued to speak with a strained voice.

“I hate Haechan. So come and walk me home again, when you’re Donghyuck again. Then I’ll be Minhyung.. Your Minhyung.”

It was silent, the other’s lip wobbled and tears started to form in his eyes. When the first tear slipped from his eyes, onto his face, Mark wiped it away gently. As Mark examined the younger’s face he finally noticed the things he hadn’t noticed before. The eye bags that grew darker and bigger under his eyes. The hollow eyes and no longer chubby cheeks. The once, godlike tanned skin, that was now pale. The dry, chapped lips and the pained expression he always seemed to wear.

How had he not noticed?

“Come back to me Hyuckie”, he whispered while slowly retracting his hand as the other seemed to mourn the loss of contact. “Come back to me and then I’ll come back to you.”

With that Mark left and turned around, stumbling into the darkness, going the opposite way of where he should go.

But Haechan didn’t chase after him, just like he didn’t after the fight that broke them apart and made them what they are now.

That night Mark finally found his apartment and passed out on his bed, while Haechan couldn’t seem to fall asleep. Thoughts of a particular boy and his words racing through his head.

When the morning arrived Haechan had made up his mind. He would come back to Mark and they would be Donghyuck and Minhyung again.

So he went to school with a nervous and desperate mindset. Hoping that Mark was waiting for him, he approached the other with little to no confidence.

“Hey-“, he started but the older cut him off with a disgusted glare, before he turned around and walked away from Donghyuck.

Donghyuck was glued to the floor, not being able to move.He felt like there was someone crushing his chest and heart. Did Minhyung forget? Was what he said a lie? He was drunk after all. But..

“They say drunk words are sober thoughts, right?”, Donghyuck asked himself when suddenly someone slapped him on his shoulder.

“That’s bullshit Haechan, where you got that from?”, the obnoxious voice of one of his friends was heard and the tanned male turned around with a pained, fake smile.

“Nowhere”, he chuckled softly, looking back one more time to make eye contact with the cold eyes of Mark. He quickly looked away, but if he had stared a little longer, he would’ve noticed the warm and pained flash in the other’s eyes.

But he didn’t.

“I’m no good for you Hyuck”, Minhyung whispered as he saw Donghyuck walk away from him with slumped shoulders. But when the tanned male entered the classroom, he held his head high.

He was Haechan and he didn’t need Mark.

After all, they hated each other.