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Frenemies In Love

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“I need your advice about something.”

Looking surprised by Astram’s words, Jeorge raised an eyebrow and put his soda behind him on the table they were leaning against. “My advice? Are you certain? Me, of all people?”

“Oh, shut up.” Astram said with a roll of his eyes. “It’s romantic advice I need. You’re more suited for this than anyone else I know.”

“Are you trying to say something about my romantic habits, Astram? How rude of you!” The shock and horror in Jeorge’s voice was exaggerated and obviously fake; it was clear as day he was proud of his reputation of being a great romantic. Girls and guys alike wanted to date him, though he always turned them down after the first date for reasons known only to him.

“Don’t give me that, you absolute weasel. Just hear me out and tell me what you think. Surely that isn’t beyond you?” Astram shot back, as if challenging Jeorge to continue the banter. People often mistook Jeorge and Astram for bitter ex friends with how vicious their arguments seemed to be, when the truth was that their friendship had changed very little from when they were little. The only real difference now was that their insults were much more creative, sometimes to the point of absurdity. Neither of them actually meant anything by it, though; it was just how they talked to each other.

“Fine, fine, you bowl of porridge in human form. What can I do for you and why do I care?” Jeorge said in a dramatically weary tone, despite actually being very interested. “Don’t take too long though, I want to get back to the party as soon as I can. I’ve only made out with one girl so far and haven’t kissed any guys yet.” The party in question was hosted by Nyna, local heiress and childhood friend of both Astram and Jeorge, as well as Astram’s girlfriend Midia. Astram had only attended very reluctantly, but Jeorge at a party was like a fish in water, only a very attractive fish that’s constantly making out with the other fish. During one of the few times Astram could find Jeorge alone, he had pulled him away, bringing us to now, where the two lifelong frenemies now leaned against a table drinking their soda.

“Alright, you bonobo of a man, I won’t. My problem is simple: I’ve realized I’m attracted to men.” Jeorge’s eyebrows shot up even more than before when hearing that. “Well, not exclusively, but mostly.” Astram continued. “I’m not in love with Midia in that way though, she’s more of a sibling to me than anything. How do you think I should go about telling her?”

“I’m going to have to say, out of all the things I expected to hear out of your mouth, that wasn’t one of them at any point.” Jeorge admitted. “You’ve unconsciously done an amazing job at pretending to be straight. I hadn’t the slightest idea.”

“The advice, Jeorge? Preferably sometime before the sun goes supernova?” Astram asked, closing his eyes and pinching the bridge of his nose in frustration.

“Ah, right. I was getting to that, I swear! My advice is to be honest with her, and don’t try to excuse yourself. I’m sure she’ll forgive you for breaking up with her, even though she’ll probably be disappointed, because she won’t forgive a lie. If there’s anything I’ve learned about women in all my years, it’s that they see right through lies. It’s really scary each and every time, a true miracle they haven’t taken over the world yet.” Jeorge picked up his soda and took another sip as he finished explaining. Perhaps, Astram considered, the reason they hadn’t was because Jeorge kept distracting them with his pretty face. If that were the case, Astram would have to be sure to thank him sometime, when he wasn’t distracted himself.

“...Right, that makes sense.” Astram replied, snapping himself back to reality and away from Jeorge’s noble features and long golden hair. “Thanks, Jeorge. If you were anyone else, this is the part where I’d call you a good friend, but to be quite frank you’re an absolute bastard, so that’s off the table.”

“Ahh, right back at you, you selfish prick.” Jeorge responded, his tone just as playful as Astram’s. “Hey, wanna make out?” His voice remained unchanged, so Astram couldn’t tell whether or not he was joking.

“What?”

“Don’t give me that, you heard me.”

For a moment, Astram considered this. If he was joking, replying with a yes would catch Jeorge off guard. If he wasn’t, though... well, Jeorge was certainly handsome enough for the both of them, and that alone made it worth it. Astram downed all of the soda remaining in his cup, then tossed it aside. “Yeah, sure, why not?” He answered sincerely.

Woth a wide grin, Jeorge led Astram to the bathroom of Nyna’s place. Neither of them would have expected what they found upon opening the door, however.

Within the bathroom, inside the empty bathtub, Nyna and Midia were making out, with Nyna on top. Though neither noticed the door opening, both were startled when Astram cleared his throat with red cheeks, a look of alarm on their faces. “Well, isn’t this an interesting turn of events?” Jeorge remarked.

“Oh, no...” Midia groaned.

Both of the girls were thoroughly confused when Astram and then Jeorge started laughing, however. “What exactly is so funny? I thought you’d be mad at us, Astram.” Nyna asked, looking from the face of Astram to Jeorge and back as though searching for an explanation there.

“Well- it’s just-“ Jeorge kept being interrupted by his own hysterical laughing. “This is just perfect, isn’t it, Astram?”

“Indeed. You see, Nyna, Midia, just now Jeorge and I were coming in for the same reason. We were going to make out.” Astram explained, managing to contain his laughter better. “So, this saves me quite a bit of trouble having to explain things to you.”

“Oh. Ohhhhhh!” Midia broke out into giggles herself, and even Nyna laughed lightly.

When they had all calmed themselves down, Nyna spoke up. “Well, there’s room in this bathroom for more than just one new couple. Enjoy yourselves, boys.”

“Oh, we will. We certainly will.” Jeorge said with a wink as he pulled himself up on the counter to bring himself up to Astram’s level. “Come here and kiss me, you stupid donkey.” Astram did just that, tempted as he was to choke Jeorge for the quick insult he got in.

Little did Astram know, Jeorge would have been very into that. However, that’s a story for another day.