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Bulletproof Baby Blankets

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“Lieutenant Commander Steven J. Williams-McGarrett,” Danny said sternly as he followed Steve through the common area of the 5-0 offices. Steve’s long strides neither stopped nor slowed to indicate he was aware that Danny was calling after him.

Kono and Chin exchanged a look. They knew all too well that the more of Steve’s rank and name Danny used, the more pissed he was. The fully loaded rank and name bode ill for their boss and they edged closer to Steve’s door once he was in so they would not miss a word.

“Do not walk away from me when I am talking to you,” Danny said as he followed Steve into his office, using the same door Steve had used, not the one where Chin and Kono were lurking.

“If I wait for you to finish talking, I’ll never get anywhere,” Steve pointed out, turning to face Danny when they were both in Steve’s office.

“Very funny,” Danny responded. “You cannot, I repeat, cannot engage in a high speed car chase when our children are in the backseat.” If Steve had ever had any concept of personal space, Danny had obliterated it when they first met. Now that they were married, Steve’s bubble of space had been evaporated - blown away by the bluster that was his partner.

“They were in their carseats,” Steve countered calmly. “They were fine.”

“They are eighteen months and three and a half. And if you don’t mind, I would very much like them to reach a ripe old age unlike their father who will be dead of a heart attack any day now.”

“My heart’s just fine,” Steve assured him with that patented smirk that was equal parts patronizing and placating, with only a little amusement thrown in to spice things up. His arms were crossed over his chest but in a loose, casual way, not in a get-out-of-my-face-before-I-hurt-you way.

“My heart, Steven, my heart is going to give out if you keep insisting on engaging in high speed car cashes through downtown Honolulu with our children. In. The. Car,” Danny said, finishing with a flourish of hand waving in an attempt to illustrate just how far up the scale of crazy Steve had climbed this time.

“They loved it,” Steve tried.

“They loved it? They loved it?!? That’s the best you can do?” Danny demanded. “Emma’s not even two yet. How does she possibly know what she does and does not love?”

“She loves us. And John-John,” Steve pointed out, a smile trying to ambush the nonchalant expression currently plastered on his face.

“That. That is not in question,” Danny huffed, loudly. “But you cannot say with any degree of certainty that when she squeals it’s not out of pure terror and not delight as you like to pretend every time she does it because you once again have chosen to ignore my warnings about the way you drive what is in fact still my car although you never let me actually drive it with or without our children in the backseat.”

Steve took just a few blinks to unscramble the words Danny had hurled at him. Once he was fairly sure he had them in the right order, he replied with soothing patience. “She wasn’t crying, Danno. If she’d been scared, you know she’d have cried.”

Danny took a deep breath and finally looked over Kono and Chin who were making no effort to not looked amused. “Do you see what I must endure? I only married him because you two insisted. Insisted it was my responsibility to save the rest of the world from him. I blame you two,” he told Chin and Kono who did an admirable job of not laughing.

“You married him because you are crazy in love with him, brah,” Kono corrected. “We got no part of this.”

Danny frowned at her before turning his displeasure back on Steve which was no more effective than usual. “What if the bad guys you insisted on chasing down, with our children in the car, had pulled guns? What then, Super SEAL? Huh? That ever occur to you and your over developed need to dispense justice no matter the circumstances?”

Steve just smiled - that smile. That smile that melted Danny’s heart every time he saw it. Worse, he knew Steve knew exactly what effect it had on him. It was, after all, that same smile that had convinced Danny to say yes when Steve had proposed. Damn him and his smile. “That’s why they have bulletproof baby blankets, Danno,”

There was no response Danny could make to Steve’s ridiculous argument or his even more ridiculous smile. Without admitting defeat, he turned and left Steve’s office. He only wished his office had a real door so he could slam it once he was inside.