Fighter didn’t think being in love would involve this much lust. He’d never thought of himself as a romantic before but now he realized that he’d always imagined love as some chaste, distant thing. Holding hands with an indistinct, blurry image of his theoretical future wife. Walks along a beach ending with a sweet peck on the lips. It seemed nice, in theory, when he’d tried to think about it. Pleasant.
When he held hands with Tutor, he wanted to slide his fingers up the soft skin inside his arm and curl them around his biceps.
When they walked on the beach, Fighter shook with the effort of not dragging his mouth along the curve of Tutor’s neck, tasting salt and sun and skin all together.
When they kissed, Fighter wanted to throw him down on the sand, crawl over him, touch him everywhere, with nothing between them. He’d had that last night, god, he’d had everything he’d wanted for months and it shocked him that now he wanted even more. Being with Tutor like that-- it hadn’t satisfied him. Instead, it just opened up a yawning hunger inside him. He knew what he’d been missing.
But it wasn’t just lust. He was wholly, completely, desperately in love. He wanted to be with Tutor forever and never let him go. Even now, on the boat, instead of looking at the islands or the clear, beautiful ocean whizzing by, he was looking at Tutor. They were touching at their shoulders, their thighs, their knees. And it wasn’t enough.
Watching Tutor tilting his head up to face the sun, his pink cheeks rounded with a slight smile, the wind ruffling his hair, he wondered How do people live like this? He wasn’t sure how his body could contain it and keep his heart still beating.
“P’Fight,” Tutor murmured, cracking one eye open at him. “You’re staring.”
“Can’t I stare at my boyfriend?” He never got tired of saying it. Never got tired of the way Tutor’s smile got a tiny bit bigger when he did.
“Mmmm.” Tutor went back to ignoring him, but his cheeks and ears were redder than they were before. Fighter wrapped his arms around Tutor and pulled him closer, pressing his face into his neck. The bright sun beat down on them, with the wind and spray from the boat cooling them. He had the taste of Tutor’s sweat and sunscreen under his lips, the hum of the boat’s engine vibrating in his bones, and the soft feel of Tutor’s waist under his hands.
Fighter drew in a shaky breath and closed his eyes.
Tutor’s hand dropped to the back of his head. “I love you, P’Fight,” he whispered, and Fighter squeezed his eyes tighter, trying to blink back tears that were suddenly threatening to spill
“Are you just going to cling to me for the whole ride or are you going to tell me where we’re going, hmmm?”
“Cling,” Fighter said promptly, nipping at his neck.
“P’Fight,” Tutor said, pushing him away at half strength. “I’m serious. This is so much, it’s--” The tone of his voice changed and Fighter sat back to look at him. Tutor looked almost distressed, and a little lost and vulnerable in a way that Fighter wasn’t used to seeing. “Thank you. Really, thank you for this, I--”
“I wanted to do this for you. For us.” Fighter took his hand. It was important that he understood, that it wasn’t about Fighter throwing his money around or getting him into bed; it was about how important this was to him. He didn’t just want this to be a one time thing. He wanted this to be the start of something. But words failed him, as they always did, stuck in his useless mouth. “This is for us,” he repeated. “You deserve more than this. But this is what I can give you.”
Tutor looked at him, studying his face with a soft smile. “Who has a better boyfriend than me, huh?” Fighter opened his mouth, but Tutor pressed his finger to his lips. “Nobody,” he said firmly.
Fighter retaliated by sucking his finger into his mouth. Tutor’s breath hitched and he dropped his eyes down to Fighter’s mouth. “Later,” he said, which sent Fighter’s brain into such a cloud of lust and fevered fantasies that he barely remembered the rest of the ride to the resort.
The resort on Koh Phangan had been picked for the quality of the food and how romantic it was; the resort on Koh Tao had been picked for privacy. The bungalow was theirs alone; they had a private pool and sauna, unlike some of the lower-priced bungalows who had to share. It had cost a lot, but it was absolutely worth it to see the look on Tutor’s face when they walked inside to see the room, pristine and lit up by dozens of tiny, flickering candles.
Tutor looked around the room, his eyes shining, looking stunned, like he couldn’t imagine anyone doing this for him. He had no idea that Fighter was shaking with the desire to make him happy. He’d called Tutor a prince and meant it. Fighter would empty his bank account for him. Hand over his soul to him. Drop on his knees and worship him, whatever he wanted.
Their first time had been so fast, but Fighter had been thinking about it all day.
Fighter had been too excited, too in love, too overwhelmed with the touch, taste, smell, feel of this boy he’d wanted for so long. He’d been gasping for air, trying to decide whether he needed to breathe or he needed to kiss every inch of Tutor’s skin. He’d been sweating and shaking, sliding in, and it was so hot and so much that he’d just barely thrust a couple of times and it was over, burning him up from the inside as he came, making a noise that was almost a sob.
It didn’t seem to bother Tutor, who’d gotten himself off between them in a few quick strokes, silently, but with a look of joy on his face that Fighter swore he’d never forget.
It had been fast, but now they had all the time in the world. Now they had privacy, and each other, and everything that needed to be said had been said between them, and-- god, it was too much to think about.
Fighter had been thinking all day about the look and feel of Tutor coming apart underneath him, the way they were finally close enough to almost satisfy the burning under his skin. And the way Tutor was looking at him now, eyes half-lidded, biting his lip, made Fighter think that maybe he’d been thinking about it too.
And then Tutor reached for him and he knew that he had. Tutor was pulling off his shirt and Fighter couldn’t look away from all that skin, all that gorgeous skin.He just wanted to touch and taste and kiss until...until forever, until they were old men. He was going to lose his mind looking at him. Thankfully, Tutor seemed to have his wits about him as he pulled Fighter closer and kissed him, hot and needy.
It was so much, finally getting to touch and taste Tutor, that his hands were shaking as he grabbed the waistband of Tutor’s shorts. He was so hard already; he couldn’t believe he was getting this hard from kissing, but he couldn’t help it. Fighter was dizzy with it, feeling out of control again like he had last night. He just wanted, directionless and overwhelming. He’d watched porn to get some ideas of what to do and he had a lot of ideas of his own, but none of that was in his head now. Making Tutor feel good was his only job right now and he had no idea where to start. Their kisses grew more frantic and his head was spinning, hands everywhere. He couldn’t think, couldn’t stop--
But Tutor was holding him so gently, hands on his neck, his chest, his hair. He was looking at Fighter like he was the precious one. Like he wanted this just as badly.
“I’ve changed my mind,” Tutor said. “I want to go to the sauna, not the bath.” The sauna? Fighter’s brain was almost completely offline. He’d have followed Tutor to the moon if he asked.
Tutor pulled away, his hand on Fighter’s neck, his fingers just resting there.
Fighter stilled immediately, breathing in deep, shaky breaths, aware of the press of Tutor’s thumb against his Adam's apple. It sent a shock through his system, cold and hot, like nothing he’d ever felt before. Tutor looked wrecked and intense, with a look in his eyes that made Fighter swallow hard. Fighter’s dick throbbed in his shorts. Everything froze at that moment. It was like a switch flipped and he just-- let go. Relaxed. Let Tutor take control. Tutor grabbed his hand to take him to the sauna and he followed, silent, a small, deep part of him happy to be led.
It felt right to be in the sauna because Fighter was already burning up from the inside. The heat rising from the coals was nothing compared to the burning weight of Tutor’s hand on his shoulder. Tutor still had that intense look on his face, like he was maybe going to eat Fighter alive. Fighter would have happily let him.
He couldn’t look at him too long - he had to look out at the pool, trying to get in control of himself. Tonight, he needed to make Tutor feel good; that was the goal, wasn’t it? In the lust haze of his brain, he vaguely remembered that this had been the plan, but he couldn’t think, not with the way Tutor was touching him.
Hands on his shoulder, his chest, his stomach. The fact that he was just behind him and above him was...something. He couldn't quite see him and he could feel the weight of his gaze, as heavy as his hands.
Sweat pooled behind his knees and in his elbows. He could feel the fine hair on Tutor’s leg pressing against his arm. The steam made every movement feel even better, more intense.
“Are you shy?” Tutor asked,
He wasn't shy, he was dying.
He was so fucking hard and every slide of Tutor’s hands down his chest made his dick twitch in his pants. It should have been embarrassing, but he was helpless. He couldn’t help himself under the smooth, sure care of Tutor’s hands.
Fighter was shaking, falling apart from the inside, and he had no idea what expression was on his face. He was gasping for air, his chest heaving, exposed and aroused under Tutor’s gaze as Tutor pressed his fingers to his own lips, then to Fighter’s, pushing them in just a little as he dragged them over his lips. Tutor’s eyes narrowed, seeming satisfied at the sounds Fighter was making. He dropped his hand down Fighter’s stomach and grazed it over Fighter’s dick, just barely enough pressure through his clothes. Fighter hissed in a breath, unable to stop his hips from surging up as his dick jerked under Tutor’s hand.
God, he was going to die of embarrassment if he came in his pants in a sauna. Tutor looked like he knew what he was thinking, because he looked so satisfied when he crawled over Fighter, biting his lower lip and breathing heavily himself. There was a drop of sweat running down his neck and Fighter surged forward, licking it before he even realized what he was doing. Tutor whined through his teeth and pressed their hips together and he was hard, oh god, he was hard and wanting in Fighter’s lap. Fighter couldn’t fucking take it anymore; he needed to get off, he needed to get them both off, and he thought they might have heart attacks if they did this in the sauna.
“Out,” he said, then scraped his teeth across Tutor's neck, just to hear him whine again. He slapped Tutor’s ass. “Come on, get up, get out.”
“I thought I was in charge,” Tutor said, diving in for a messy, open-mouthed kiss. He sat back, pulling Fighter’s lower lip with him.
“But,” Fighter gasped. “I don’t want to--” He ground their hips together. “Not like this.” Oh, fuck it, he was embarrassed enough already. “And I might--um.” He wasn't going to be able to stop, was going to grind and grind and grind until they both came, and that wasn't what he wanted.
Tutor didn’t laugh at him. He just whispered “Yeah, me too.” And that was it, Fighter was going to come right fucking now if he didn’t get this boy off his lap, so he stood, pushing Tutor off more roughly than he meant to. Tutor laughed and over-balanced, nearly tipping into the pool on his way out.
They didn’t get far, just stumbling out to the poolside deck. There was a rattan basket of neatly folded towels provided by the resort placed near the sauna entrance and as they went through the door, kissing, Tutor’s hands caressing over the curve of his ass, Fighter grabbed a handful of towels, throwing them on the patio as Tutor giggled into his mouth.
“P’Fight,” he said sternly, but the effect was ruined by the way his hands drifted down the front of Fighter’s abs. “We have a bed.”
“I can’t wait for the bed.” It was only a short walk away but he meant it. He couldn’t take it anymore. “And we’d just get it messy.” Fighter wrapped his hand around Tutor’s neck and pulled him into a kiss, biting at his plush lower lip. “I want to make you feel good.” It was all he could think about all day. “Please.”
Tutor shuddered and ground their hips together. He was hard too, the hot length of him pushing against Fighter. “Okay,” he whispered. “But I get to make you feel good too.”
“I already feel so good.” He dragged his teeth down Tutor's neck, shivering at the sound he made, just a little whimper, but it was one of the hottest things Fighter had ever heard. He did feel good. If he felt any better he'd be coming in his shorts, too fast (again) for Tutor to enjoy it. That wasn't what he was going for. "Let me," he said, pulling Tutor gently by the hand down to the towels on the deck.
The sound of the ocean was a constant, steady, rolling backdrop as Fighter kissed Tutor. The breeze was cooling but not cold and there were small insects and other creatures making noises in the trees and vegetation surrounding the resort.
It felt like they were the only two people in the world. They were the only two people in the world. The world consisted of Tutor, with his sweet, boyish smile and dark eyes and Fighter, in orbit around him. They were the galaxy, the whole universe.
Fighter hovered over Tutor, kissing him again and again, open mouthed and hungry. Had he ever kissed anyone before this? Those party hookups and club makeouts were nothing, meaningless pale imitations to this -- this boy under him, panting and whining into his mouth. Fighter was so fucking turned on, he was going to lose his mind. He was going to explode. He was going to come just from the taste of Tutor's mouth.
"Ai'Tor," he said, licking the salt from Tutor's collarbones. He couldn't hold it in anymore. "I love you. I love you, I love you." He was babbling but Tutor didn't seem to care, just grabbed hard onto the back of his neck and encouraged him, whispered yes yes yes below him.
Last night had been fast. Fighter didn't want tonight to be quite as fast. So he slowed down, took his time. Ran his tongue along the peaks of Tutor's nipples, then paused to blow on them while Tutor moaned, bucking his hips up. There was so much to feel right now: their skin, where they touched, was still hot from the sauna, but the cooler breeze brought goosebumps across the back of Fighter's neck. Their shorts were damp and rough and there was too much fabric bunched uncomfortably between them.
"Wait." Fighter leaned back on his knees, then stood in one swift, smooth motion, taking a second to look at Tutor spread out beneath him. He was gorgeous. His chest was flushed pink and rising rapidly with his breaths. He was hard and it was obvious, curving up and outlined against his damp shorts. Fighter's mouth watered. Fuck, this is why people wanted to give blow jobs. He'd never really understood the appeal, but now--
"P'Fight," Tutor frowned and stretched out his hands. "What are you doing? Get back here."
Right. "Shorts," Fighter stuttered out. "I gotta--" he pulled them down and kicked them off. Did he take off his underwear too? He put his hands on the waistband, hesitant, and then watched, wide-eyed, as Tutor lifted his hips and pulled off his own shorts and underwear in one go. He was naked, under the stars and palm trees, with the flickering pool lights casting shadows all over his body. Fighter wanted to crawl inside him and never leave. He wanted to map his entire body with his hands and tongue. He wanted--well, he wanted to get naked first, so he did that, shedding his underwear and kneeling back down next to Tutor.
"You're beautiful," Tutor said, running his hands over Fighter's shoulders. "God, look at you. I can't believe--" He stopped and bit his lip. Fighter leaned down and bit it again for him, then kissed the corner of his mouth as he smiled.
“Stay right there,” Fighter said. He just couldn’t handle too much touching or moving right now, he needed to keep his head on straight.
“Or what?” Tutor asked, cocking one eyebrow. God, he was so cute. He brushed his sweaty hair out of his eyes, leaving one hand resting on his forehead. It made his biceps stand out in a really amazing way, so Fighter kissed his arm, sliding his lips over the curve of it, down his forearm, ending with a kiss to the delicate inside of his wrist. Tutor shivered.
“Just trust me,” Fighter said, hovering over Tutor’s lips. Tutor’s eyes were closed and his lips were pink and swollen, glistening with their kisses. Fighter dropped another delicate kiss on them, then to his neck, his sternum, his nipples, dark and pebbled against his skin. He ignored his own arousal the best he could, just kissing everywhere he could reach until Tutor’s hips were lifting rhythmically and he was making that hah-hah-hah whining noise in the back of his throat again.
Fighter finally let himself look down to see that Tutor was hard enough that his dick was arched over the bottom of his stomach and leaking. His mouth watered again. He didn’t know how, but-- he could. He could try.
Running his hands reassuringly up Tutor’s thigh -- who was he reassuring? himself? -- Fighter took a deep breath. And then another one. He could do this.
A hand landed on the back of his neck. He looked up to see Tutor looking down at him, his mouth half hanging open, his eyes glazed. “Please.”
Well, that was it. He’d do anything Tutor needed. He’d rip his own damn heart for him - he could do this. He gripped the base of Tutor’s dick and leaned down, hesitantly kissing the top of the head. The noise Tutor made was enough to encourage him, so he took it in his mouth, trying to keep his teeth out of the way, and started to move.
It was weird. It was strange to have his mouth full and it was hard to remember to use his tongue and not bite and he kept drooling, but fuck, it was so much hotter than he expected. Tutor was making all these noises, the whines escalating into moans, his thighs clenching underneath Fighter’s hands. The taste wasn’t exactly great but it was so hot that he could taste it, could taste how turned on Tutor was, that Fighter was the one doing this to him. That he was the one making Tutor feel so good, causing him to swell and jerk in his mouth.
Fighter felt powerful. And hot, and a little like just him rubbing the edge of his dick against Tutor’s leg was going to make him come. Tutor was babbling, “Oh, oh, oh sweetheart, I love you, Fight, I love-- oh, oh, oh” Fighter felt it happening, felt his muscles draw up tight under him, saw Tutor’s belly hollow as his dick jerked in his mouth. Tutor said, “I’m--I’m--” but Fighter knew, knew what was happening, wanted it to happen. He let Tutor fill his mouth, only sputtering a little as he tried to take it all in.
“P’Fight,” Tutor tugged him up to kiss him, his hands too tight in Fighter’s hair, but that was okay. The pain grounded him, surged through him, rocketing straight to his dick. “P’Fight,” Tutor said again, into his mouth. “It’s okay, it’s okay.”
Fighter wondered why he was reassuring him, until he realized that the noise in the background, over the sound of the wind and waves, was him, moaning brokenly as he ground desperately into the mess on Tutor’s stomach. “Can I,” he gasped.
“Let me just--” and then Tutor was taking control again, shifting them around so Fighter was on his back and Tutor was moving down, down, not taking the time that Fighter had, maybe because he knew Fighter wasn’t going to last long enough for it. Fighter gripped his hands so tight that his nails bit into his palms and tipped his head up to look at the stars, begging to whoever would listen that he wouldn’t come all over Tuto’s face. And then he thought about coming all over Tutor’s face and gasped, “Quickly--”
Tutor’s mouth was a shock of warmth and wet and Fighter could feel himself sliding over Tutor’s lips, and that was just about enough. All the heat in his body coalesced into his gut, drawing tight, curling his toes. It was almost too much, so much pure pleasure that he was overloaded, but then Tutor shifted over and wrapped his hand around the base and that was it. Everything inside him imploded and he was coming hard, not into Tutor’s mouth but all over his own stomach as Tutor jerked him through it. He was coming and coming and it felt like maybe he almost came twice, it was so intense.
“Shit,” he gasped, as Tutor collapsed against him, laughing. “Shit.”
“Mmmm, you liked that, huh?” Tutor asked, like he didn’t already know, from the shit-eating grin on his face.
“You might have to try it again,” Fighter said, trying to sound casual but he was too wrecked for that. “Just to be sure.”
Tutor snorted and slapped his arm. “Come on, P’, let’s get rinsed off so we can get in the pool.” Fighter was content to just lie here forever, actually. It was nice out. He could just doze off listening to the lapping of the pool. There was a nice warm breeze. Getting up seemed like so much work. He flapped his hand out, trying to grab for Tutor.
“Nooo,” he whined, trying to act cute. “You can’t make me.”
Tutor rolled away and sat up to crouch next to him. His hair was a mess, sticking up in the back, and he was sticky with sweat. Fighter wasn’t sure he’d ever seen anyone more beautiful in his life. Tutor reached out and booped him on the nose. “I want to get in the pool.” Boop. “And kiss you in the water.” Boop “And then eat until we can’t eat anymore.” Boop. “And then I want to wake up in the morning and make a filthy mess of you,” he said sweetly, cocking his head to the side. “How does that sound?” He booped Fighter’s nose again, then dragged his finger down to his lips, pressing inside for a second before he was gone, hopping back up onto his feet. “I’m taking a shower!” he called.
“Hey!” Fighter yelled. “Hey! Ai’Tor!” He got up on his elbows and watched as Tutor walked inside with a little wave, not looking back. Fighter collapsed back on the blanket, grinning.
Fighter didn’t think being in love would involve this much lust.
He’d never imagined lust infused with so much love.
His imagination hadn’t been big enough, hadn’t been bold enough, for Tutor.
Tutor, who was now in the shower waiting for him. And that? That was something Fighter didn’t have to only imagine anymore. He sat up, stretched, and grinned up into the night sky. Time to go join his boyfriend.