Levi has a strict routine.
He likes going to the bars on late Friday nights, and drinking himself silly just for the taste. Liquor has little to no affect on him, unless he really tries, and he uses that to his advantage fairly often.
He likes the sound of heartbeats picking up at the sight of him, faking drunk silly when men approach him and offer him another drink. Again and again.
It is always the same, but he never grows tired of it.
He seems easy, but he always chooses his prey carefully.
No amount of sex is worth lowering his standards, no matter how much he thrives off of the feeling.
Tonight was supposed to be no different.
Levi wasn’t supposed to see him, wasn’t supposed to do this.
Apparently, fate says otherwise.
Levi knows the exact feeling of lust - of attraction. His skin tingles when eyes fall upon him, his teeth dig into his lower lip at the flirtatious gazes of foolish men, and his eyes hood at the smell of arousal.
Nothing can be hidden from him, and because of that, he knows the exact moment that he’s caught tonight’s meal.
He exhales softly, then takes a sip of his drink. He acts carefully, letting the liquid drip down his chin before licking it away with his tongue.
He feels the hitch of breath more than hears it.
Levi turns around on his stool, slamming his empty glass down and leaving a five on the counter next to it. He searches for those eyes, and meets bright greens shining in the dimness of the bar.
The person flushes, ducking his head down to avoid Levi’s gaze and act oblivious.
Levi’s smirk falls.
“ All this work for nothing, huh ?” he mutters under his breath, tone slurred purposely.
If there was one thing Levi always did, it was avoid the innocent ones.
He takes those that deserve worse, crushes them with their pleasure and watches, nearly amused, as the light fades from their eyes and he hears and feels their last breath.
It’s always a one night stand.
A filthy smells comes around, dark black eyes staring through him, thinking wrong of him, and the disgusting sound of his lips smacking.
This is the kind he preys upon, who hold nothing but ill thoughts, those that wish nothing but the worse upon others.
This world they share that is full of hardly any people Levi would deem good by his standards, therefore, he allows the ones who deserved it to live and to others he gives them the final night of their life.
Some would say that Levi was playing God, but Levi never thought of such a thing.
Instead, he reasoned that he was helping the big man out. He was doing God’s work.
Funny, coming from a demon.
“ Hey, ” he coos, walking unsteadily over to the tall, thin man. “ D’ya know the way t’ Klorva ?”
A dirty grin crosses his face.
“I can give ya a ride there, if you’d like…” he says, attempting to be flirty.
It just about makes Levi sneer.
“ I’d like that. ” Levi presses his hands against the man chest, pressing up against him gently.
Levi can still feel eyes on him when he leaves, but this time, he doesn’t feel any lust from them.
The man’s hands are rough, digging into his hair and yanking it to the point that Levi is near hissing out in pain, but he continues, knowing that he will get nowhere without first pleasing the man before him.
“Hah…” the person breathes harshly, pressing up closer, driving his dick deeper into Levi’s throat.
He pulls off just before he spills.
“I don’t swallow, you piece of shit.”
The male laughs, disgustingly, as he smiles smugly, “You’re a fighting bitch, aren’t ya?”
Levi narrows his eyes, before pulling over a nice grin, standing and then moving over to the cheap looking bed behind them. “Well then, I guess you’ve got to put me under control, hm?”
He almost scoffs when he hears the man’s noise of agreement, but he holds it back and climbs onto the bed, looking toward the guy suggestively.
“I’m waitin’,” Levi coons, leaning back and spreading his legs. “Thought you said you’d make me cry?”
Levi knows he’ll take it as a challenge. He’s always been good at riling people up.
“You’re quite the slut, eh?”
The bed creaks as the man climbs onto the bed, in between Levi’s legs. Levi grins and pulls him closer, wrapping his legs around the other’s waist.
“Oh, you have no idea.”
Levi finishes up around two in the morning, and the man lying in the bed couldn’t be anything else but a shell of the human he once was.
Levi, on the other hand, couldn’t feel more alive.
“You look refreshed,” Petra says, smiling as she makes her way over to the sofa Levi is occupying. She takes a seat a few spaces from him, turning her head with a soft look. “Have fun? You look disappointed.”
“Feeling it,” he replies. “Guy couldn’t even get me off, possibly the least satisfying sex I’ve had in awhile.”
“Well, maybe you should find a new location, since you’ll have to soon anyway.” She says, in thought for a moment before adding, “Hanji found this new place, ‘says it’s really good and that all the good looking guys go there. Some even have a lot of cash, although you aren’t really into that, are you?”
“No,” he lolls his head back, turning to look at her with his tail freely flicking about the deep red rug before moving to curl on top of his legs. “I think I’ll stick where I am for now, arguing over which is mine is the last thing I want to do with you or your group there.”
She smiles, now remembering that small fact. “Oh, right.” Petra nods in agreement, then, “Stay safe.”
He snorts. “When am I not?”
Again, the kid is watching him. It seems he’s gotten braver over the few days that have passed.
The bar is nearly empty, and after going more than a week without anyone to satisfy him, Levi is starving. He may be considering to take the kid. After all, despite his pure looks, he could also just be hiding behind another face, waiting to get his hands on someone weak.
The thought gets Levi standing, moving away from the bar and to one of the tables - the one he knows the guy is sitting at.
He feels the way the guy stiffens when he leaves the bar and the tense and unease that rests in him as Levi stops in front of him.
“You’ve been watching me,” he states, not caring of the blush that appears at his words. Upon a closer look, the kid couldn’t be a day over twenty, with tanned skin and innocent green eyes.
Those eyes make him interested. Levi has never read someone so much of an open book, and this kid seems like it. He couldn’t be much of an innocent person, no human ever was. Perhaps Levi should fulfill his wish since it’s obvious from his scent that the kid’s attracted to him?
“Why exactly is that?” he asks, already really knowing the reason.
He takes a seat across from the boy, seeing how he hides behind his messy brunet locks.
Levi brushes them back, feeling the heat from the boy’s face on his pale fingers.
He gets no answer.
“You got a name at least?”
A deep breath, then, “…Eren.” It seems he wills himself to add more to it, “You’re always leaving this place with someone…”
“I don’t think my sex life is any of your damn business.”
It shuts Eren up right then.
“Unless,” Levi adds, smirking and quirking a brow. Eren stills at the single word, waiting. “You asked with hope for a chance.”
He stammers, rubbing at his neck and his blush deepening.
“It’s just an offer, feel free to say no.”
“Ah, no… that’s…” he pauses. “I mean yes, uhm.”
“You’re a nervous wreck, aren’t you, kid?”
Eren mumbles, “Shut up.”
That night, he leaves with Eren, taking him to another hotel, still cheap but better looking and he watches how anxious Eren is just to enter the building.
Usually, Levi doesn’t kiss his prey, places his lips nowhere near their faces. Their dick? Yeah, sure. Mouths? Hell no.
But the first thing Eren does when they enter the room is slam him against the door, and then, completely different from his previous actions, he presses his lips to Levi’s, almost hesitantly.
When he pulls back, he gets an angry look in return.
“We don’t kiss,” Levi says, brow twitching and he fights the urge to look apologetic at the look Eren gives him in return. “And don’t think at all about marking me. I’ll cut your dick off.”
“Anything you against?” Levi’s surprising himself, he never does this, never questions anything - just hurries to finish the act. He’s never this considerate for his prey.
Perhaps it’s because Eren won’t end his nervous act, the twirling of his hair and rubbing the tan skin of his neck red.
He gets a shake of the head in return.
“Then strip.” He turns, getting rid of his shirt before reaching the belt of his pants. Eren is bright red, staring. “Did you not hear me?”
“Sorry,” he mumbles. Then he starts to take off his button down, slow and oddly sensual for someone so nervous.
Levi has to remind himself to finish taking off his clothes when he gets distracted by the sight of the boy nearly naked.
“Underwear too,” he adds, when he notices Eren’s hesitation.
Eren bites his lip and nods, and Levi finds it terribly adorable.
He has to remind himself that this kid is not any different from his usual prey.
He just seems like he is.
Thirty minutes later, after some encouraging kissing and sensual touches, Levi is lubing up his fingers and stretching Eren out.
“Are you a virgin?” Levi asks, completely confused when Eren makes a surprised noise. It’s as if he has no clue of how sex between men works.
“Not… per say.” Eren says, turning his head to the side, and digging his face into the pillow. “I’ve been with women, but this would be the first time I’m with a man.”
“Do you at least know how gay sex works?”
“Yeah, I just didn’t think it’d feel this way.”
“First time having fingers up your ass, huh?”
Eren chooses to just ignore the comment.
“It gets better. Trust me,” Levi says, and pulls his fingers out once he’s satisfied.
He goes to grab a condom before he positions himself at Eren’s entrance, hardly managing to hold himself back.
Levi feels like some sort of villain not too much later. He knows the pain that Eren is going through, knows he can’t do much to help fix it, and Eren’s small tears aren’t helping.
“You’re crying,” he says, stating the fucking obvious.
“Sorry,” Eren sniffles, tightening his hands in the sheets. “I didn’t think it’d hurt this much.”
“No one ever does,” he mumbles. “I’m only halfway in, though.”
“Quit apologizing,” he says, looking down into tear-filled green eyes. “Just…” Part of him is finding this unbelievable. He’s a treating a human like something more than just a thorn in his ass. “Tell me what to do to make you feel better.”
“Nearly,” he answers.
“…Hold my hand.” Levi furrows his brows, not understanding how something so simple could do anything to help, but he moves to do it regardless. Using his other hand to hold himself up, Levi watches as Eren opens his mouth to speak again. “And, a kiss, maybe?”
“Haha, not really.” It’s more of a dry laugh, and Eren’s avoiding looking into Levi’s eyes. Levi gets the feeling of complete embarrassment burning up from Eren and he can see the upcoming regret in his green eyes.
He kisses him.
It’s slow and deep and he’s breathing out through his nose, eyes shut. He doesn’t get the chance to pull back up, Eren’s free hand wraps around his neck tugging him lower, and strangely, he gives.
He doesn’t kill him, doesn’t even come close to it. Instead he ends up revealing himself to Eren, his horns and tail visible as he hugs Eren to his chest. His tail wraps itself around Eren’s leg, the brunet’s breath blowing onto Levi’s chest and his eyes squeezed shut as Eren touches his hands to his horns.
“You’re an… incubus?” he repeats, looking into Levi’s silver eyes once they open.
“That’s what I fucking said,” he mumbles.
“You didn’t kill me,” he states, sounding confused.
“Be grateful, you shit.”
“Why didn’t you?”
Levi pauses. He doesn’t know the answer either.
They exchange numbers, meeting for small hangouts and the occasional blowjob.
“You didn’t tell anyone,” Levi mutters, sipping on his drink.
Eren looks almost offended. “Did you think I would?”
“Wasn’t sure,” he replies, looking out the window, “humans aren’t exactly the best at keeping secrets.”
“Yeah, well,” Eren says, munching on some chips, almost angrily at the accusation. Levi raises a brow in amusement. “You can trust me at least, I promise not to reveal anything to anyone.”
It’s honestly the first time in years that Levi has allowed himself to trust a human.
Based on this. Edit: I wrote this pretty differently than I expected it to be, but I wanted a modern version with Incubus at first. Anyhow, I've concluded that this will be around five chapters, or something of the like. I'm not sure when I'll manage an update, though.
Chapter 2: The Mistake
He’s surprised Eren doesn’t question him. Not as he kisses his lips passionately on their way to the bedroom, when they hit the bed, laughing, or their clothing is shed. When their moans are louder than the thunder sounding outside the apartment window. When Eren can barely gasp out that he doesn’t want Levi to pull out
inside, inside, inside.
Despite himself, Levi ends up spending more time than he’d thought he would with Eren. Sometimes it was with a single text that he found himself eating popcorn while scowling at Eren, who talks through the whole movie until it’s nearly impossible to know what the hell just happened in it.
He’d hang around for dinner at Eren’s cheap apartment, and when Eren would find himself too lazy to, he’d spend his free time vacuuming the carpeted floors and scrubbing endlessly at the tile floors of his kitchen because that single mark just won’t fucking disappear.
And while he’d be tired due to it later, he’d only grumble about it while munching on a piece of fruit he’d taken out of Eren’s fridge, and Eren would smile sleepily before somehow finding his way into Levi’s lap and snuggling up to him while Levi would mutter: “You little shit,” rather affectionately.
On occasion Eren would bring up a question, something rather curious, that he’d like to know about Levi and he’d furrow his eyebrows, silently wondering what could be so interesting about himself that Eren would nearly beg to hear his answer.
Not as often would Eren cross the line with his questioning, topics too personal and harsh for Levi to answer, and he’d apologize the second he noticed, taking Levi’s hand in his and caressing it with his own so softly, as if Levi would break otherwise.
Levi would try to hide his adoration of that, how his heart would flutter just a teensy bit as Eren kissed at his hand gently, eyes closed and cheeks just flushed an inch. He’d pulled back and mumbled under his breath that it was fine while Eren opens his bright eyes and a relieved smile graces his lips.
He’d try to pretend as if that smile wasn’t doing odd things to his heart, but the second he was out of sight, roaming the streets after leaving Eren’s place, he’d think about on the moments with a small, pleased smile on his lips. Someone would pass and stare at him all strange until Levi would notice, snap out of it, and give them a death-worthy glare, causing them to hurry off.
He’d return back to his shared-home, being rather quiet as he shut the door to the house, shrugging off his coat and hanging it up before sighing.
Levi questions the lack of noise in the house, it would usually at least have the television running before Hanji had either fallen asleep or gone out with it on because she’s convinced that it’s no problem.
Levi would get pissed at it, turning it off and then finding her to scold her about how despite the fact they were not human, yes, they did have bills to pay and no one is going to put up with her shit.
Hanji would grin all wide and reply, “You will,” maybe tap his nose before running off because she knows exactly what she’s doing, and she knows exactly how Levi is going to react.
But there was, again, not a single sound besides the creaking of the floorboards as he paces the dark halls. Which was… unusual, considering that Petra was hellbent on avoiding the dark, keeping all lights on, if not just one.
He decides not to think much of it, heading upstairs to take a nice, hot shower before going to his room. He has to pass a few doors to do so, Auruo’s room, Gunther, Eld, Mike, Erwin -
He nearly feels his heart stop when he’s grabbed, arms flailing as he’s dragged into Erwin’s ridiculously messy, but oddly organized room.
“What the fuck?” he exclaims from his spot on the maroon carpet, eyes narrowed over at Erwin.
“Your mind was on something different,” he muses to himself, seeming not to mind the confusion and vex Levi feels.
“What, was I supposed to be trained on the fact that I could be dragged off somewhere unknowingly in my own home?” he snaps.
Erwin raises an eyebrow at Levi’s sarcasm, sighing before giving a hand to help him to his feet. Levi takes it regardless of his current feelings. “You were out late, you missed dinner.”
“Oh,” Erwin says. “Well, Hanji made her famous casserole.”
“It’s famous for being shit,” Levi comments bluntly.
“Mike ended up ordering take out.”
“See,” Levi snorts, seeing Erwin crack a grin, too.
The end of their laughter brings an odd silence. “Where’s Hanji?”
“Out with Petra. Gunther, Eld, and Auruo are probably together at a bar by now. I’m pretty sure Mike came in earlier and just crashed on his bed.”
“I thought it was too quiet. You working?”
“Too much,” Erwin sighs, lips pulling into a frown. Levi waits for the inevitable question. “Where were you?”
“Levi, you've been ‘out’ for the past two months. You’ve never been that excitable. I was always sure you didn’t find anything so enjoyable about our kind’s feeding methods.”
“I don’t,” he gruffs.
“Mike’s been complaining that the place is starting to reek of human.”
“It’s not me,” Levi frowns at the accusation. “Just because I’m -”
“Levi, you’re the only one that always -”
“Erwin!” he snaps.
Erwin’s mouth goes shut, eyes tired as he looks at Levi.
“You don’t think that I…”
“It’s just… you’ve been out so much, I’m worried for you, Levi.”
“It’s not like my mood’s getting worse.”
“I know,” Erwin looks at him sadly. “It’s getting better.”
“Gee, thanks, asshole.”
“It’s… you’ve been acting strange now. You don’t get as frustrated with Hanji and her messes. Don’t complain to Petra or Gunther or, Lord, even Auruo. Eld says you’ve been avoiding eating dinner with us the past week, always saying you’re full. Humans don’t fuel our other needs completely, Levi. You sure you aren’t sick or something?”
“I’m fine, Erwin.”
“Forgive me,” Erwin drags a hand over his face, eyes lowered. “I’m worrying you too much, aren’t I? You’re a grown man, you can take care of yourself, and yet-”
“I know, we’ve been through a lot together, Erwin,” Levi cuts him off. “Your worrying isn’t falling on deaf ears.”
“Right,” Erwin smiles softly. “You’d probably do that same, anyway, wouldn’t you?”
“Perhaps,” Levi arches an eyebrow, his arms crossed. “But, if you don’t mind, I was on my way to sleep. Considering I need it.”
“Of course. Apologies for dragging you out of your cycle before.”
“Accepted. Goodnight, Eyebrows.”
Levi spends a lot more time than he probably should staring at the ceiling of his room, lying in his bed, but sleep just doesn’t seem to come to him. He is well-aware of what Erwin was implying; that, perhaps, Levi is spending all that time with a human, despite, you know, holding a large amount of dislike for them.
He is, but that isn’t the point.
The point is that while their kind and humans holding a friendship is fine, anything else is against the laws; romantic or sexual relationships aren’t seen as “normal” between their kind. Although, yes, they still did occur enough to only enforced the laws, now using worse punishments for those caught.
The most common one was the execution of the human involved. It rid most of the council of their smallest ounce of humanity, how they didn’t dare blink while the person pleaded helplessly for their life. Promised to speak never of what they’d seen or learned of their kind. The council never spoke a word other than a simple “Yes” or “No” after reviewing all the information presented to them.
They never changed their minds. Not easily, at least. And the half of them couldn’t give a damn about one human, regardless of their family or who they were.
The main focus of the council was to watch the backs of other demons, to make sure their existence stays unknown. Romantic relationships were normally the cause of exposure, and because of that, were banned. Sexual relationships were a tad more complicated than just that.
They were the community’s source of food, a way to satisfy a strong, undeniable need that could never be ignored. Because of that, they were not banned, but instead fell under strict rules. There is no law that says every human that one of their kind encounters must be killed afterward, but there * is a law stating that there can only be so many of those sexual encounters to avoid any risk or developing fondness or romantic attraction to that human.
Failure to abide to the code lead to imprisonment or a having a set of guards follow you until the council ruled you clear. Levi has experienced both - though under different circumstances - and he can confirm that having your freedom taken away so simply is one of the worst things he has gone through.
Albeit, the main three are the most complicated and time-spent ones; some of the council aren’t up for filling out the paperwork, or some of them may even have a lack of guards due to the rise in crime, or perhaps if the crime is terrible enough - they decide to put both to death and be done with it.
There is hardly a way to avoid such a fate, which is why most kept themselves at least hidden from their lovers.
Although such a thing for Levi had obviously failed.
He doesn’t know what compelled him to reveal himself to Eren - just knows that he was somehow convinced that his secret would be safe with him, no matter how untrustworthy humans are.
And oddly enough, he stills believes that. Still finds himself spending as much time as he can get in with him, and finds himself nearly spilling his deepest, darkest secrets with him. All because of this so-called “trust” he feels he has.
His father would probably call him a fool because of it, and Levi would pretend he actually gave a damn about his opinion.
Somehow, he manages to drifts off to sleep.
The next day he spends his morning with Hanji, enough to sate her curiosity so he’s free to ease a lie passed her as to where he’s been recently.
He tries not to think about how often he’s been feeding them bullshit relating to his whereabouts, and how he’s doing all this for a human of all people.
Then again, he guesses that Eren’s… just not exactly a “normal” human. Perhaps that’s the reason.
(He’s a little in denial, but he won’t admit that.)
Erwin doesn’t seem so fooled by the lies, and Levi doesn’t expect him to be. It’d be far too easy if he had.
He ends up with his arms wrapped around Eren while he complains about his boring-ass job and the terrible customers that he has to deal with because his coworker, Jean, leaves all the hard shit to him, and he’s kind of a favorite of Eren’s boss. Even if the guy is kind of a douchebag.
Levi just nods along at that point, agreeing because yeah, the guy does sound pretty bad, even if Levi doesn’t know him so well. But Levi’s also pretty sure that Eren exaggerating, if only a little, because there’s no way someone can be that bad and still have a job.
Then again… after he finds himself leaving Eren’s place earlier than usual because he gets called into work, he reaches the conclusion that maybe Eren wasn’t exaggerating as much as he thought.
The so-called douchebag calls himself in sick, and Eren makes sure to declare how pissed he is about it because “ That asshole was just fine yesterday! ”
Levi doesn’t really complain about it, although he’d prefer to stay a while longer, perhaps to avoid answering questions a little longer or maybe even due to him enjoying Eren’s company more than he’d like to admit.
He nearly gets the shit scared out of him once again when Erwin pulls him off again with a sad little look on his face, as if he’s disappointed in Levi for some reason. He wonders why Erwin’s even on this street, when he should be working right now when it finally hits him.
He was followed.
Anger bubbles up in him. He shouts creative insults at Erwin while the other just nods, waiting for Levi to calm down.
“Levi,” he says, voice so low and depressed, “I was really hoping it wasn’t the case, but-”
“You reported me in?” he asks, voice slightly high and eyebrows furrowed as if he can’t believe it himself.
“I’m - I’m part of the council, Levi. I can’t just lie for you.”
“And now I’m -”
“No, no,” he assures. “I got you a trial, if anything. My opinion… I helped influenced them a bit, but I can’t change their decision completely… however, your status could -”
“You have three days. We’ll discuss it in that time since making a bad impression is -”
“I know,” he sighs. “Thanks.”
“Don’t thank me just yet.”
Hanji’s got this doleful kind of look on her face, eyes averting every time Levi catches her staring at him. It’s odd because she’s so damn quiet, it’s unnerving, he just wants her to start talking about some weird-ass quirk she found out a human has. Anything but that disappointed look she has on her face.
And, God, Petra won’t even look at him.
It’s likely because they’re trying to cut ties, just in case he ends up - well - dead . He knows that even though they refuse to speak to him, refuse to look at him, that they’re worried; that they’re confused and finding such a thing unbelievable, I mean -
Levi hates humans, doesn’t he?
No, dislikes… them? Finds them selfish and irritating? Yes, but… now, does he really hate them?
Can he really hate the kind that Eren belongs to?
No. No, he can’t.
He groans, throwing his head back as he leans back against the sofa, arm thrown over his eyes. The clatter of plates lets Levi know that Hanji and Petra are watching him now, possibly finding his actions bizarre as they stop their conversation just to listen to him huff. The cushions sink and he raises his arm, turning his head to the right to spot Auruo with his hands clasp together nervously.
Auruo raises his eyes from their place on his own lap to Levi, who only raises a brow. “What?” he snaps.
“It’s just -” he swallows. “It’s not true, right?” he asks, a tad hopefulness in his tone. “I mean, you hate humans, don’t you?”
Levi sighs, sitting up straight and looking at him. “Do I?” he asks, rather rhetorical. “I guess I don’t… hate them all.”
“You think I did this on purpose?”
“T-Then,” Auruo pipes up, “did the human do something? Force you? Or - wait, you wouldn’t let that happen, would you? You’re too strong for that… unless, it knew your identity and used it against you!”
Levi frowns, not really listening to Auruo’s useless, terrible-thought out conclusions. “No, I wouldn’t let that happen,” he answers, picking at his nails.
Auruo gives a smug smile. “I knew it!”
Levi rolls his eyes. “I told him myself… I was aware of what I was doing,” he adds, not mentioning that he didn’t realize how it was affecting him.
His words quickly get Auruo to shut up, his lips pulled into a frown. “What?”
Levi scoffs, his eyes averting from Auruo, as if to say: “I’m not repeating it. You heard me clearly enough.”
“Levi…” Hanji’s voice rolls in, and Levi looks to her a bit surprised. She hadn’t spoken to him at all since he’d returned back and Erwin had told them at the situation. “You told him, even knowing the trouble you’d face? You realize that’s completely different from observing and studying them, don’t you?”
“Surprised?” his tone deadpanned.
“You always said that if anyone of us were to break that law it’d be me,” she laughs a little, it dying out slowly. “I must say I am.”
Petra frowns, her eyes full of sorrow. “Why did you do it, Levi?”
To the question he chuckles, and if that isn’t enough to say that something is wrong , he smiles slightly. His eyes aren’t bright, completely dull and dark as he looks at the three of them.
Hanji bites her lip - a nervous action she hardly ever does.
“I have no fucking clue.”
Levi avoids answering Eren’s texts, his phone calls always going to voicemail. He just knows that Eren is pissed at him for it, and it’s not just because as he listens to the messages Eren leaves they progressively get more violent and filled with shouting.
Part of him knew that Eren would get pissed. God, he would be pissed, too.
Suddenly it’s as if he doesn’t exist for Eren, and he knows how much that’d hurt for him if it were the other way around.
The trial’s today, and he would rather avoid being caught yet again visiting or speaking to Eren, so he lies in his bed, listening to the messages until he feels something a tad painful and switches to reading their previous texts instead, scrolling up and away from that one that makes him feel endless guilt.
It says you’re reading the texts, so why the hell aren’t you replying? Levi, I know you’re there.
He spends the rest of his time reading over one of his favorites, how they’d gotten into an argument about movies when Eren had asked if he wanted to come over dinner. He hadn’t even given his reply until they’d finished arguing and he’d been proved victorious.
It still makes him smile.
At the time of the trial, Levi’s partly saddened, but not surprised by the turn of events, and how after days of preparation he’s left to plead innocence to the very man who witnessed him in the act.
The council always was full of cruel bastards.
Nile manages him a wink, and Levi would have given him the finger had he not be the one to suffer for it.
Erwin sits down, his face stern and eyes cold, truly hiding all of what he really feels.
He’s more of a master at it more than Levi himself.
When he speaks, his voice is strong, demanding submission and the ears of those in the room to *listen.
Erwin’s always been great at that, commanding and getting what he wants. Sometimes he complains that he dislikes it. Levi’s always thought he’d just said it to brag--- y’know like those pigs who complain that they don’t have enough when they have far more---but seeing the emotion in his eyes, Levi’s convinced he might have actually been speaking his true feelings on the topic.
Not very fit for an incubus, really.
“Levi,” he looks up as he’s addressed, eyes no longer glazed over as he thinks, noting that Erwin has finished reading the usual scroll. “You have violated a number of laws, do you have any denials of these accusations?”
“No,” he says curtly, and he notices the flare of flaming irritation form in some of the council’s eyes.
They never did like him much.
“Very well,” Erwin proceeds, used to Levi’s rudeness and likely wanting to get this over with. He sets a folder on top of the court-desk, opening it and looking through the files. He looks up to Levi, his fingers stopping on a page. “Eren Yeager. This is the human you associated with, is he not?”
“He is,” Levi nods.
Erwin hums at that, his eyes lowering back to the files, picking back up where he left off on reading. When he finishes, he closes the folder and passes it down to the right where a few others of the council sit.
“You have a history of a romantic and sexual relationship with this male, do you not?”
Levi hesitates with that one. Sexual, yes, but romantic… much less, he no longer does. “I did,” he finally answers.
“I’ve cut off the relationship days before the trial.”
“I see.” Although Erwin was already aware of that, he is able to hide his knowledge of it easily.
“You have also been charged with the crime of revealing your identity to him, allowing him to live with that information. Are you aware of the risk due to that?”
“And yet you still did so regardless?” He just nods, understanding that a verbal answer is not needed. “Tell us why.”
Levi sighs, looking straight at him in the eye. “I don’t know.”
“You… don’t know?” Erwin asks, his eyebrow raised. He’d specifically told Levi to find out why, no matter what it took. You couldn’t just say you didn’t know.
“I don’t. I… felt as if I could tell him, so I did it.”
Erwin exhales through his nose deeply, no longer commenting on the issue. “Of course. Now, looking over the information presented to us, as well as your word on the situation, our decision has been created.”
Levi doesn’t bother to hide his anxiousness, his eyes raised to watch Erwin almost reluctantly.
“Levi, you have been charged with a total of two crimes as of this year,” he says, voice steady despite the worry he feels for Levi. It’s too obvious for him to notice. “The crimes of revealing yourself, our kind, and holding a sexual and romantic relationship with a human, the very one you exposed us to.”
Oddly, Levi finds himself not feeling an ounce of guilt for his actions. Eren has made him happier than he’s been in a long while, and that’s strange to him, really.
“For this, most would be sentenced to death, however, after votes have been brought in, you are gifted a single chance,” Erwin continues, and Levi wonders if he’s even stopped to breathe. “Leave the human, and ensure that he will not speak a word. We have set up a few of our most trustworthy guards to watch him once you’ve left to be sure you are keeping your word as well as him his. Your time limit is a day, I trust you’ll follow these without problems?”
“Yes,” he answers, somehow not breathless at the conclusion. He’d thought it’d be so much worse… that’d he would face death.
“Splendid, and oh, if not I’m certain you are aware that the deaths of both you and the boy will be guaranteed?”
“I wouldn’t see it any other way,” he grits his teeth, noticing the other council member speak to him harshly. Probably hoping he fails.
He can’t really blame them.
It’s raining when the trial finishes. Levi takes the papers given to him as he returns back to his shared-home, setting them on the desk in his room before sighing deeply.
He throws himself onto his bed, burying his face into his pillows before sitting up enough to pull out his phone and scroll through his notifications. Eren’s excessive texting and phone calls have slowed down gradually, now he receives at least two or three at the most.
He reads the most recent message, frowning at the concern in the text before listening to his voice messages, unable to control himself when Eren quits his shouting to sniffle, pleading to tell him that he is okay.
He leaves the house a little after that with a raincoat, not bothering to answer Gunther when he asks where he’s going.
He has time to see him so it’s fine, anyway.
He’s soaked by the time he knocks on Eren’s apartment door, shivering only slightly when Eren opens the door.
It takes him a while to understand, to realize that yes, he’s real; but when he does he pulls Levi into a hug despite the rain, nuzzling his hair and squeezing him tight.
When he pulls back, Eren slaps him. Hard.
Levi can admit he deserves that, as well.
“You asshole!” he shouts, his arms hanging at his sides, his eyes red and with noticeable bags beneath them. “You didn’t call or text. You just disappeared! You can’t fucking do that!” his furious tone loud. “You… can’t just fucking do that… I-I thought something happened, and…”
Levi doesn’t mention anything and only pulls Eren back into his arms, holding him close as Eren grips at his coat.
“Apologies won’t solve everything… you asshole.”
“I know,” he murmurs, kissing at his hair softly.
“Don’t leave me like that again.”
Levi doesn’t response and shuts his eyes closed tight, breathing in Eren’s familiar smell.
“Levi?” When he gets a hum back in return, Eren continues, “You should come inside… it’s raining. I don’t want you to catch a cold.”
He nods, letting Eren slip out his arms as he follows him inside.
Eren shuts the door before speaking again, locking it carefully. “Have you had dinner yet?”
“No.” Levi shrugs off his coat, placing it on the coat rack.
“Good,” Eren smiles brightly, leading him to the kitchen with their hands entwined.
Eren doesn’t give Levi much of a chance to relax once dinner is finished. Levi first puts away their plates into the sink, starting to wash them when Eren’s arms wrap around his waist, his face pressed into Levi’s shoulder as he holds on tight.
Levi only sighs, not commenting as he dries another plate.
Then, Eren starts pressing soft kisses onto Levi’s neck, leaving his toes tingling and his ears turning a non-visible shade of red due to the terrible lighting in Eren’s apartment.
“Eren, let me finish cleaning first…”
Eren chuckles a little against his skin, pulling the loose shirt down his shoulder to press small kisses at the pale skin there. “I missed you,” his voice a little dejected, his movements slow.
“…I missed you, too.”
Eren brightens up some at that, allowing Levi to finish drying the rest of the dishes before he turns, pulling Eren into his arms and kissing at his jawline.
He’s surprised Eren doesn’t question him. Not as he kisses his lips passionately on their way to the bedroom, when they hit the bed, laughing, or their clothing is shed. When their moans are louder than the thunder sounding outside the apartment window. When Eren can barely gasp out that he doesn’t want Levi to pull out, inside, inside, inside.
When Levi hesitates, pausing in all his movement before continuing… it’s their last night together. It’s the least he can do… to give Eren something to remember, no matter the consequences.
Perhaps he just can’t think straight in that moment-- think of how much can go wrong, because he follows through.
He kisses Eren wholeheartedly as he reaches his climax, muffling his noises of pleasure and holding his trembling body close.
Eren doesn’t say anything until he’s half-asleep in Levi’s arms, his words slurred and low, almost unheard as Levi watches the rain pour, it’s quiet and calming.
“Please, don’t leave me…”
He leaves just before sunset, and he has to control himself to not look back.
Let me know if you see any *, I use them to signal italics since I don't write everything in the ao3 text doc. Next chapter will probably include a time skip. Kudos and comments are always appreciated.
Chapter 3: Aftermath
He shakes the thoughts away and turns on his phone, immediately sending off a questioning message to Levi. Just one. A simple, Where are you?
The morning after, Eren wakes up alone and cooler than usual. For a moment, he just lies there, snuggled deep in the comfort of his sheets before he rolls over on his mattress and faces the entrance to his bedroom.
Seeing the door open, he figures that Levi must have gotten up earlier to either piss or cook. It wasn’t very often, but there were times when Levi would attempt to make breakfast for him, and even though it wasn’t the best meal, it still meant a lot.
He smiles at the thought and stretches, a tired moan leaving his lips.
When there is no answer to his mid-yawn call, Eren braces for the chill of his hardwood floors and climbs out of bed. He wraps a loose sheet around his body, knowing that his robe is still in the dryer, and walks down the narrow hall.
The building is oddly silent except for Eren’s footsteps, and when he enters the kitchenette he finds out why.
He chances a look to the rest of rooms in his small apartment, but he still comes up short.
Levi is nowhere to be found.
His heartbeat picks up with nerves, but he holds himself steady.
This is not the time to overreact, Yeager.
He inhales a deep breath and drops his thin sheets to the floor, needing the chill to keep him focused. On his feet.
With an eerie type of calm, Eren returns to his bedroom and grabs his cellphone. He stares at it blankly at first, lost in thought, filled with worry. He remembers what happened last time, how with no explanation Levi had left him, but surely he wouldn’t have to go through the same thing all over again?
He shakes the thoughts away and turns on his phone, immediately sending off a questioning message to Levi. Just one. A simple, Where are you?
He wills himself to not just lie in bed waiting, and instead move on with his day.
It isn’t easy, especially when he every time his phone dings, it’s not from him.
Every hour that he doesn’t get a response, he comes up with a new excuse.
He could be busy. Maybe his phone is off. Maybe he can’t talk at the moment. Perhaps he was low on battery, or he’d forgotten his phone some place he wasn’t.
But, finally, the next day, he wakes up with the sudden realization, and tears fall down his cheeks silently. He sits in bed and inhales sharply, holding back the inevitable sobs. All over a man he’d barely known.
But he’d spilled his heart to him, gave him everything. There were no secrets on Eren’s part. He was always convinced that Levi would warm up to speaking more about himself eventually, but now… he guesses that he was wrong.
Eren calls into work sick and spends the rest of the day forcing himself out of bed and taking care of himself.
It takes a lot of enough to not just break down every chance his thoughts stray, but then he remembers who he was before Levi and who he is now.
Instead, he ignores the bad things and lets the good outpower the rest. He thinks of the good memories and thanks Levi for then. He wants to hate him, though. He wants the make Levi bleed and feel the pain that he feels, but he doesn’t.
He stops texting Levi, but he can’t bring himself to delete his number from his phone. He’ll still find himself staring at his name, wanting nothing more than to hear his voice, but he only smiles sadly and moves on about his day.
The first few weeks, his coworkers worry excessively over him. Eren never gets sick, and he never has this type of air about him. But Eren waves them off and takes note to school his expression better. He always had a habit of letting his emotions show actively throughout his actions, but he knows then that he has to lessen that.
He would not be the cause of others’ worries. Even Jean had started treating him with more care, and all Eren wanted was to not be seen as fragile. He could care for himself, he could fix this just fine without them.
And within the third week, he’d proven so by the calmer looks on their faces. No longer are they so restless, even when Eren has to excuse himself from his luncheon with them to vomit. He isn’t sure if it’s from the stress or if he’d just fucked up his stomach with his insane cravings and weird mood swings.
He has troubling eating and keeping it down, and often had no appetite at all, but he chalks that up to his whirlwind of endless emotions.
By the end of the month, spring is about and the sight of nature has Eren’s heart fluttering. He has always had a sweet spot for this type of weather, and when his mother comes to visit around this time.
He cleaned the house, eagerly awaiting her arrival, but he had never predicted things going south then.
Carla Yeager was many things. She was traveler, interested in every culture that existed. She was a retired nurse, and she was a mother. And she was an expert at reading people.
So when she sees her son for the first time in months, herself dressed in bright colors and skin a dark tan and eyes still ever so bright, she knows something is wrong. Eren only hugs her lightly before attempting to escape her warmth, but she pulls back before he can.
She looks in his dark eyes and frowns, letting her hands roam along his body, searching for something else out of whack all the while Eren makes small noises in protest.
When she touches his stomach, Eren made an odd sound in his throat, and her gaze travels back up.
“Eren?” Her thick accent rolls through, eyebrows furrowed deeply, and she only has a second longer to stare before Eren is running from her.
She follows after him immediately, bags left at the entrance, heels clicking against the hardwood. She stops short of falling upon meeting Eren on his knees, hunched over the toilet. Unshed tears are left in his eyes as he continues to dry heave, making pitiful noises.
It takes all of Carla not to cry right then and there, seeing her son in all that pain, and her nursing instincts take over before she can. She lowers herself to her own knees and rests a light hand on his back, rubbing it encouragingly.
Carla hums soothingly until Eren stops heaving, then only trembling with a whimper caught in his throat.
When he tries to speak, she hushes him. Carla turns on the sink and grabs a small towel to run under the warm water. “Lift your head up,” she coos, and wipes his mouth gently when he does. “Can you stand? You’ll need to brush your teeth.”
Eren nods hesitantly, glancing up briefly to the sink before getting on his feet with his mother’s help.
It’s only after Eren is resting in bed that Carla has to time to wonder how long he must have been dealing with this all alone. After being without one’s touch for so long, Eren must crave it stronger than ever.
She crawls into the small bed with him, and when he makes a soft noise in confusion, she shushes him. She runs her fingers through his messy brown hair and begins to sing a soft tone in her native tongue. Almost immediately does the tension leave Eren’s body, and it’s only minutes later that he’s fallen asleep.
Carla stays with him longer than normal, hoping for his condition to get better, but it doesn’t. When his vomiting lessens, another terrible symptom arises, and within the second week of her stay, she forces him to go to the doctor and has them run countless tests on him.
It was a difficult task, which was why she’d never tried to before. Eren refused going to the doctor, which normally was never a problem since he was exceptionally healthy, but now? It was a necessity.
Sitting in the small room, Eren keeps moving around, unable to stay still. Anxious.
Carla stares on after him, a tiny frown on her lips. Eren only calms down when the doctor returns - a tall woman with warm brown eyes. When she turns onto Eren she always seem to turn serious, and Carla can’t help but feel uncomfortable.
“How is he?”
“I’ll… allow you to see for yourself. This is more of a family matter, I believe,” she responds, handing them the clipboard with the papers attached to it.
Carla takes them suspiciously, watching as the woman exits the room quietly. She looks over to her son, who is curled up in a weak chair and sitting stiff. He chews on his lower lip, and when Carla tells him to stop he has to resist the urge to not do it again.
She directs her attention to the results and finds herself frowning the further down she reads.
This couldn’t be right.
“Eren…” she calls softly, catching his attention. “This… it says you’re pregnant, but that can’t… that can’t be possible.”
If possible, Eren only grows more still, eyes widening and gut clenching.
In the Yeager bloodline, the men were almost always the least fertile, bordering on infertile. Eren’s birth was a miracle in itself, as down the line the fertility only lessened, but to hear that Eren was pregnant himself?
It was abnormal of all things.
Male pregnancies were rare, almost completely unheard of, but possible. Even with the very low chance of it happening, it could. Doctors were still trying to figure out how, but no matter how hard they studied, they never could figure it out.
So how is it possible that out of all the couples Eren has heard of trying for a child, looking for a miracle, Eren is the only one known to succeed?
He inhales deeply, closing his eyes.
Levi is an incubus, and the last night they’d spent together, he’d worn no protection.
Feeling his heartbeat pick up, Eren swallows hard and leans back in the chair, spent.
“Mein Baby,” Carla coos, pulling Eren close to her. Almost instantly, he buries his face into her neck, shaking. “It’ll be alright.”
Eren knows it will. Because even if Levi hadn’t meant to, he’d just given Eren a gift that he’d never forget.
Eren is silent the entire ride home, and even then he just crawls into bed without any second look to his mother.
Carla does not leave his side, though. She swallows down the fear swirling in her gut and leaves her son to think, but not without checking on him every hour.
Her conversation with the doctor before they left still rings through her mind, and it pains her to even remember it. But how could she forget?
“This is an unlikely miracle, knowing your family’s history,” she'd said, glasses pulled down on her nose to reread the fine print. “But it will not come easy, if your son plans to continue on like this.”
“What do you mean?”
“He’ll have terrible symptoms. The worse fevers and cravings. He’ll need someone along side him. Is the other father available?”
Carla had no clue about that. Eren hadn’t told her anything. So she just shook her head and the doctor gave a small frown.
“Then I’ll assume you’ll remain by his side?”
Of course. She’d give away all her traveling and her savings just to be with her son, regardless of what might happen he’d always have her.
“If that’s the case then, you’ll need to tell him this yourself. I doubt my words would be any ounce of ease on him.” Carla could feel her throat go dry and her eyes narrow. Of course the woman would leave her to give Eren to hard news.
“There is no specialized medicine that can be given to him to ease any excess pain. The normal pills we usually give out to pregnant women will not help and… many professionals, including myself, believe that it’s best to just let it run its course without too much medication.”
The doctor set down the clipboard and gave Carla a sympathetic look. She gritted her teeth. “There’s more, isn’t it? I read the papers.”
“Yes… unfortunately, there isn’t much to be said for the survival rate of both Eren and the baby, if he does decide to give birth. Specialists are still looking for ways to change that, but for now… his death is very likely. I believe it’s important that he thinks about this carefully, and if he decides that he doesn’t want to give birth…”
Eren had been pissed when Carla brought up the option of abortion, and she would never forget the utter look of anger at just the idea.
Carla would not lie, she didn’t want to lose her son, but she knew that this was Eren’s choice. This was his life. But the way Eren protested every little thing made it seem like he was on a suicide mission, but that all changed the day that she walked in on him late at night.
In the midst of cleaning up the kitchen after a failed attempt to get Eren to eat something he could hold down, Carla hears the sound of faint singing from down the hall. She furrows her eyebrows, but leaves the scene. The noise grows clearer as Carla reaches Eren’s room, and it’s not until she’s peeking through the crack through the room that she understands.
Eren sits up, back supported by his fluffy pillows, and rubs his stomach. There is still no clear show of his pregnancy, but Eren never seemed to care about that. Right now especially.
His fingers move lightly along his belly, seeming soothing to Carla just from watching.
Eren’s lips move slowly, words broken German, but it doesn’t matter that the words sound harsh on his tongue, hard from lack of use. What matters is the way Eren looks down at his stomach, like somehow he’s found a new, better reason to live.
He looks… alive, and well, and that is all that Carla could have ever wanted.
It’s fine that Carla has no clue what Eren has been up to since she’s been gone.
As long as he keeps smiling like that, she will be content.
The fact that it has been a full year since I have updated this makes me sad, especially since I do enjoy this story. I did not plan on not updating this story for so long, and I'm sorry if I've disappointed any of you. I was caught up in a lot of life things, including my own inability to write this for a long time. But I never once planned to abandon this story, and I won't. Not matter how long it takes me to finish it.
And onto story matters, I just thought I'd bring about an explanation for the mpreg in this story. It's rare because incubi rarely take men, but even so, it is very dangerous to for a man to be pregnant. They do not have all the necessary parts to bear children and lack a lot of the needed nutrients. Some die during birth, after, or even before it. The symptoms are really harsh, such a hellish fever, constant dizziness, and sometimes they can barely walk on their own after a few months. Their stomach will often refuse food, like Eren is experiencing right now. Because of this, it's usually needed that the pregnant men be cared for, by their partner or family. They are usually able to live if the care is constant and the symptoms do not overwhelm them.
Typically, the incubus would be there to care for them and provide, which give a likeliness for that person to live, but among humans that doesn't happen often, as you can see with Eren.
So hopefully that gives you guys a little insight to what Eren is going to be going through the next few months. :)
Chapter 4: Guilt and Lies (A Horrible Combination)
But Petra is stiff all throughout, her smile forced even with the wrinkles of sincerity under her eyes and the shine of her soft skin.
Although the idea of him bringing life into this world, created by love, makes Eren delighted, he’d be lying if he were to say that it didn’t come with its own downfalls.
He would accept this child, or the death that it brought upon him willingly, but just going on and allowing it to change his life entirely… he’d not thought so hard about that until it started happening.
Eren was not sure what he expected. He knew it would never be easy going through with the pregnancy, but he was convinced that it wouldn’t be the end right away. Even if he was okay with giving up his life for this.
He never expected to have to quit his job and rely purely on his mother for support. He never thought of himself being bedridden most of the time and in such torturous pain.
Sometimes, he became tempted to end everything right then and there, but he was a coward.
He’d rather suffer through the pain and just be taken away later than have to end his miserable life himself.
Carla was as encouraging as she could be, but she couldn’t stay by his side forever. Eren knew that. She had to work, to support him and her future grandchild.
Eren hated it more than anything. He hated being unable to do anything, unable to care for himself and his baby.
Not only did he feel weak, but he was.
There was only so much thinking one could do before they grew insane, and months sitting in wait was not how Eren wanted to go about things.
So he dealt with it, allowed his mother to view his good side as he kept himself under control. He composed himself in front of her, reminding himself every second he might’ve faulted that he would find relief.
And when Carla finally returned to work full time, making Eren promise to call her for anything, or even shout for his neighbor through the thin walls, he found his feet and went walking.
Dressing himself appropriately isn’t the hardest thing, though he does grow frustrated by how much extra time it takes, it is the ache in his feet and his back that bother him the most.
He sucks it up, though, and toes on some comfortable walking shoes before exiting his apartment building, goosebumps prickling his skin at being out in such a while on his own again.
There is pleasure underneath his hesitation, a sense of satisfaction, but it doesn’t rid him of his uncertainty and for a moment, he considers turning around. Like perhaps, he’d be better off dependent on someone else, but his pride doesn’t let him, and he hates it in that moment.
The wind blows harshly and to one who had paid little mind, it would seem as if the rustle of the shrubs decorating the outside of the apartment building were moving only because of the air. That is not the case, and is further proven so when the bushes shake when the air goes still.
A few minutes later a figure bursts out of the greens, shaking leaves from his hair with a scowl.
He wrinkles his nose. “There’s no point to this anymore.”
A small hand reaches out and grabs the man’s arm, pulling him back into the bushes.
“You’re being an idiot now. It doesn’t matter if there’s a point or not. Orders are orders.”
“Well, orders said to keep track of him, not lie awake at night stalking the little shit.”
“That is actually exactly what we’re supposed to be doing.” His partner huffs a deep sigh. “You think I like this anymore than you do? He’s seems like a sweet kid and I have no interest in being a criminal stalker, Auruo.”
Auruo stands up once more.
“Then let’s just leave.”
“God! It’s like you never listen!” Petra shouts, startling a few passersby. They give the bush a wide-eyed look and she bites his lip in embarrassment before continuing, in a quieter tone, “It’s our job as guards to secure our own safety. No matter how bad it might seem. Don’t tell me you forgot?”
“Hell no,” Auruo huffs. “But that doesn’t mean I have to like it.”
“That’s true. Just may be keep your hatred a little more on the down low.” She stands up and dusts away the dirt that had gathered on her neat uniform. “Now c’mon. He’s moving again.”
With a short grumble under his breath, Auruo moves along right away Petra, though not nearly as eager.
“You know, I don’t understand why you agreed to help if you were just going to complain the whole time,” she says, maintaining a steady distance between her and their target.
“Isn’t it obvious?” he scoffs. “I’m here for the chance to raise my status among the community.”
“Right.” She sounds clearly unimpressed.
He makes an exasperated noise and rolls his eyes. “Yeah? Well, why did you volunteer? Don’t tell me you actually find this a good pastime?”
“No, dumbass. I’m here because this is a good opportunity.”
“To end him now?”
She turns to him, horrified. “No!”
“Oh, my bad. Then what? Because that would obviously solve all of Levi’s problems.”
“We’re not here to solve his… mistakes or clean up after him. He’s not a child, Auruo.” She sighs and directs her gaze back ahead, eyes not lost on the slow figure ahead of them in the growing crowd. “We’re here to… figure out why he did it.”
“That seems stupid. He doesn’t even know why.”
“I disagree. I think Levi does know why, he just didn’t want to tell us.”
“But we’re like… family, aren’t we? Why wouldn’t he tell us?”
“Well, for starters, you…” She looks at him, eyebrow raised. “You aren’t exactly the sensitive type, so I doubt you would understand his feelings.”
“His feelings? God, Petra, you really overanalyze, huh? What are you a psychologist all of the sudden? You do know that one class doesn’t make you an expert, right?”
“See, this is what I’m talking about. You’re clueless, heartless.”
“And he isn’t?”
“Shut the fuck up,” she groans and throws her hands up. “He’s obviously feeling a whole lot, which only further proves my theory.”
“Your… theory… Oh, my god.” Auruo stops dead in his tracks. “You think he cares about this human, don’t you?”
“I’m more than fifty percent sure, actually.”
“Do you even realize what you’re saying right now?”
“I don’t get it, Auruo. This isn’t a foreign concept. Love exists, you know. No matter the species.”
“It exists, alright, and it’s damn illegal.”
“And since when have you cared about that?” she shouts, having had enough. “You talk about troublesome shit all the time, but when it’s suddenly involving someone not… like us, it’s irrelevant?”
Upon seeing her partner fall silent, she huffs in annoyance and walks ahead of him.
“Come on, we’re losing him in that store across the street.”
The shop on Rose Street is anything but dark, with bright colors and playful sayings painted neatly on the glass windows. Entering the inside of it is like experiencing a new child’s playground, and Petra and Auruo are more than just a little confused.
There are children running around and parents searching frantically for just the right toy to appease their spawn, but none of that is what really catches Petra’s eye.
What does have her standing still, bemused but curious, is the sight of their target looking at the most childish things with deep consideration.
The first thing to cross her mind is concern, even with the soft look gracing the boy’s face, and she almost wants nothing more than for her fast forming theory to be false.
“Petra?” Auruo asks, when she takes a few steps forward instinctively.
She blinks and turns back to him.
“What are you doing?” It almost comes out like a hiss, which startles the little boy nearby Auruo. He sighs deeply and tears his eyes away from the watering eyes of the child and back onto Petra, whose look is like that of fear.
“I want to talk to him,” she answers quietly.
“What?” He’s not quite sure he’d heard her right. “You know that we’re not allowed to do that.”
“I’ll bring it up in front of the council later, this could be a good way of assessing things.”
“I know that’s not why you’re doing it.”
She tilts her head and him and gives him an unimpressed look.
“And what are you going to do about it?” she says, taunting him. “Tell on me?”
Auruo goes silent, even with the daring reply on the tip of his tongue, and stares at her.
“That’s what I thought,” she concludes. “Stay there, I’ll be back in a moment.”
Of all the things Auruo thought he’d allow, sitting around while Petra risked her life and career was not one of them. But as the foolish man he was, he did. He watches her approach the boy and make effortless conversation with him, who appears to brighten up the longer they talk.
But Petra is stiff all throughout, her smile forced even with the wrinkles of sincerity under her eyes and the shine of her soft skin.
If it were anyone else, it would be hard to notice, but Auruo has grown up with Petra in the same neighborhood as her. He’d grown to care for her, even with his rotten mouth.
“Shopping for a little sibling?” She smiles softly, though her stomach aches with worry. The boy looks up, surprised at her appearance beside him, before his expression evens out and he gives her a quick shake of the head.
“No, I’m shopping for…”
Eren goes silent suddenly, and Petra can’t stop her concern from leaking through.
“Are you alright?”
“Yes… yeah,” he answers. “I’m fine. It’s just, still a shock, you know? Doing this, preparing to be a parent.”
She goes deathly still and swallows hard. “A parent? Your girlfriend must be so lucky to have such a sweet guy with her…”
“Oh, um…” Eren fumbles with the small stuffed bear in his hands and looks down nervously. “I don’t have a girlfriend. It’s just me. I’m… pregnant.”
She blinks, but by now the surprise has left her entirely. Instead, she manages a bright smile for Eren, though it wavers just slightest.
“That’s wonderful. You must be so excited.”
“Yes, I have a feeling that this baby…” He returns the stuffed toy to its place in the box container and rests his hand on his stomach. “That he’ll do me some good, whip me into shape, you know?”
“Yeah,” she agrees. “Children are very good at getting you into a habit.”
Eren gives her a curious look and Petra can’t help but be flattered.
“I used to babysit part time,” she explains.
“Oh,” Eren says lamely. He seems almost sheepish as he looks away. “Sorry, I got a little too ahead of myself.”
She frowns in confusion. “What do you mean?”
“Well, I know there aren’t that many men who actually go through this, and I don’t really have any friends that have given birth before,” he explains. “I was just kinda expecting you to have gone through this.”
Petra’s eyes dull, growing sad, and though they betray her small smile, she tries to not let it show.
“Well, I don’t have any personal experience giving birth myself,” she admits, “but that doesn’t mean I can’t help you prepare.”
Looking up at her in surprise, Eren quickly goes from disappointed to relieved.
“I would really appreciate that…”
“Petra,” she offers her hand.
“Eren,” he grins.
“Now then, let’s get baby shopping, hm? So how far along are you?”
By the time they’ve returned home after giving a detailed report to their superiors, Petra and Auruo are exhausted in more ways than one.
“Are you going to tell him?”
Petra is in the middle of digging her keys out of her purse when she hears the whispered question, and she almost scoffs.
She stops digging and turns around to face her partner, whose face is full of concern. Her look softens. “No, I’m not going to tell him.”
“Good.” Auruo looks relieved.
“That doesn’t mean I don’t think he deserves to know, Auruo,” she adds, keys in hand.
“Doesn’t matter what he deserves, it’s about what’s best for him.”
“And what are you now, huh? His father? You don’t get to decide what’s best for him.”
“Better me than the council. Though we are both in agreement right now…”
Huffing, she shoves her key in the lock and turns it just as quick. Auruo gives her a questionable look.
“You can’t tell me that this is right, Auruo. I understand the safety measures just as much as you do, but it’s still wrong. Eren’s going to suffer through this all alone, without Levi by his side.” She opens the door and enters, not paying mind to the grumbling child behind her. “You know how risky and horrid that is.”
“Our feelings don’t count in this matter -”
The sound of heavy footsteps catch their attention, and right away they go silent. Immediately after, a shirtless Levi appears from down the hallway, popsicle stick hanging in his mouth.
He’d been heading to the kitchen, but upon seeing the quiet stares on him, he turns onto his roommates, eyebrow raised.
“You look like you’ve seen a ghost,” he comments. “What happened to all the yelling I heard earlier? Did Petra finally beat some sense into you, Auruo?”
“Y-yes!” he shouts, then his eyes go wide. “No! I mean, we aren’t doing any of that kind of stuff, Levi!”
Petra resists the urge to facepalm.
Levi only stares at him a while longer before continuing his embark to the kitchen. He throws away the popsicle stick and then opens the fridge.
“Relax, I wasn’t trying to interrogate you. Even though you’re pretty late getting home today.”
“There was a lot of traffic,” Petra offers and throws her bag onto the sofa. “We got held up.”
“That’s right,” Auruo adds.
“Oh? And what were you guys arguing about this time?” There’s a teasing upcurl of his lips when he says it, but when Levi closes the fridge and looks over to his friends, he can see their faces grow pale. “Petra?”
“It was… nothing too serious. Just us thinking out loud.”
“About what?” he repeats.
“Kids,” she answers.
Levi puts down his mug and raises his eyebrows at his roommates, looking surprised.
“Kids? I didn’t know you wanted kids, Petra.”
A flush rises in her cheeks and she looks away, ignoring her partner’s sputtering. “I’ve always wanted a little one, actually, but the conversation wasn’t about that.”
He hums and stirs his drink. “Then what was it about?”
“Would you ever want a kid, Levi?” she asks instead.
“Never really thought about it,” he responds. “Why?”
“No real reason.” She drops down on the sofa next to her bag and closes her eyes. She leans back into the cushions. “Just a thought that popped into my mind.”
Levi wouldn’t push for an answer if she really didn’t want to talk about it. And though it pained her to keep it hidden, Auruo was right. Maybe it would be better for him.
It would be alright; she would help Eren even without Levi.
Editing this one was a bit of a bitch, which is why it is updated today instead of last Saturday. But I'm going to be working on this story for Camp Nanowrimo this year, so hopefully I'll get close to finishing it soon.
Chapter 5: Secrets Spilled
There’s no confusion, no futile effort being put in to hide his emotions, and no longing is there any yearning to be elsewhere in his gaze. He isn’t forcing himself to act normal, he finally looks like he feels okay - and that makes Petra want to keep her mouth close.
“Any new symptoms?”
“No, just the usual.”
Dr. Zoe looks up from her clipboard, her eyes all wide and proud.
“This is very good, Eren.”
Eren says nothing, but that doesn’t hide his bright smile.
He’d never thought he would say it, but Eren had grown close to his doctor overtime. At first, it was tiresome to make trips every week and give a detailed explanation of how he was feeling each time, but pregnancy, just like with everyone else, had begun to take its toll on him.
After his first ultrasound had taken place and he’d got a glimpse at the human being growing inside of him, he had gotten more than comfortable with his doctor, who wanted nothing more than to help him.
So halfway into his second trimester, he told his mother that he could make his own doctor visits unless he said otherwise.
Carla was reluctant, of course, but both of them knew how tired she was, and there was no denying the fact that Eren had gotten better at taking care of himself.
Whether it was really for him or the baby, she wasn’t sure, but for now she was content to allow him more control over his life as long as he was safe.
So she drove him over to the medical facility and picked him up unless he said otherwise. He was allowed more privacy at his doctor visits, and given more time to grow used to Hanji’s eccentrics.
Not only a doctor, but a proud scientist, she had vowed to find more remedies to his pains and to give him an easy labor when the time came. She was a great listener, always catching what Eren couldn’t say aloud, and always there to brighten up his day at even the worst news.
With Dr. Zoe, Petra, and his mother, Eren’s loneliness lessened. He thought of Levi less, never afraid to remember the past but no longer hanging over it or blaming himself for Levi’s leave.
In the past, he would obsess over the ways he could have convinced him to stay or at least give him a valid reason for deciding to end everything instead of just up and leaving.
He’d often wonder if perhaps he were more welcoming, more malleable, that Levi wouldn’t have even thought about leaving, but Eren realizes now that it wouldn’t have been worth it - no matter how much he still cares about Levi - to have forced himself to change for him.
If he wasn’t going to accept him for who he is, then Levi wasn’t worth it.
And besides, now he could smile again, feel happy again, and live knowing that he was going to foster a young life of his own. He was going to bring forth someone to love him unconditionally and someone who would grow up to be great.
“Everything looks good here, Eren,” Dr. Zoe says, catching him out of his thoughts.
He looks over to her, where she is browsing through his information on her laptop, and gives her an excited smile.
“I would still recommend eating more often and drinking plenty of water. You’re still lacking a bit of weight from normal, and you’re eating for two after all,” she laughs. “The pills I’ve given you… have they helped with any of the pain?”
At this, Eren gives her a hesitate half-smile.
“They’re okay… I just don’t see much of a difference.”
“But you can still get around okay, can’t you?”
“Yes, of course! It’s just a little more effort to move around more.”
Dr. Zoe hums long, deep in thought for a moment. The drawn out sound makes Eren uneasy, and he would have startled at her suddenly loud noise if he wasn’t used to her eccentrics by now.
“Perhaps you should stretch more. Back pain is pretty normal, but I’m guessing that you’re a little stiff from all your sitting around. I think that besides that, everything else here is okay. Please check in with me if anything else happens, okay?”
Eren agrees to do so and bids her farewell. When he exits the building, he is met with the sight of Petra sitting outside and admiring the garden. He can only assume that she’s been waiting for him quite a while since when he arrived she wasn’t here.
Before he would have felt guilty for having left her to wait for him, but after going through this for many weeks now, he knows that Petra just can’t help herself from checking up on him.
She knows his full schedule for his doctor visits, and even seems rather close with his doctor. No matter what Eren is feeling when he leaves the office, Petra always helps him feel better than before.
“You know you could wait inside, where it’s not as hot?”
Petra looks up at the sound of approaching footsteps, smiling at the sight of Eren even as he takes his time walking over.
“I don’t really mind the heat,” she responds, unfazed. “How did everything go?”
“Fine as usual,” he answers, as Petra begins to pack up the messenger bag she’d brought with her. “Hanji says that from the way things are looking, the delivery might not be as bad.”
Petra stands up and they both take to walking to her tiny silver car lingering in an almost bare parking lot.
Eren always preferred to have his visits during the least busiest time of the week. He was never very fond of pitying and wide-eyed looks he’d receive from other people, and while he knew that he couldn’t avoid that most of the time, he could at least choose when and when not to experience it during his appointments.
“So what are you thinking for today?”
It was also ritual at this point to have a delicious dinner after Eren’s appointment, catering specifically to his desire at any place he wished.
“I’m still below the usual weight,” he explains. “So I’m thinking something really meaty.”
“Ew. Too greasy.”
“Steak it is. Your place or some other?”
“Mine, please. My back is killing me and all I want is to relax,” he complains.
Petra trusts Hanji.
They have been friends for ages, defending one another when faced with the lies of their kind and the horrid sexism and shaming that comes with it.
When people told Hanji that she couldn’t pursue the type of scientific career she has now because of her true nature - the part of her that longs to seduce and take, take, take.
Petra told them to fuck off and aided Hanji in her difficult journey.
When they said she would never be able to have a normal family life, Petra rose them examples of couples surviving off their own power together and others surviving together - sharing their prey.
She was never the type to consider them… a meal, but Petra was a survivor more than anything, and she knew then - the same as she does now - that giving humans any other meaning than food would lead to her demise.
Hanji helped her prepare her sample, and with that, their community was shocked into silence.
Now, Hanji is a professional that specializes in succubi and incubi health, while caring for humans on the sidelines. Her excuse is to study them, which is bought easily, because no member of the council is capable of arresting or putting to death one of the greatest scientists of their kind.
Petra, on the other hand, owns a small bookstore on the side of her bar-tending at a local pub. It is a frequent hangout for the higher ups of their kind, so she gets in on the latest gossip and news before it ever goes out, while at the same time enjoying the time spent with her co-workers.
But no matter how much trust they place in one another, there are always doubts.
And now, Petra fears for her new found friend more than ever.
No amount of science and logic can reassure her the same as knowing for absolutely certain that Eren will be alright. But even with the help of one of her own kind, his survival rate only goes up so much.
Hanji is insistent that Eren is doing well - more so than many of men she’d met and studied, but he is underweight, with a low appetite at the strangest of times.
And with her worries in mind, she does the one thing that she probably shouldn’t have.
Levi is in the living room when she gets home, all the concern and guilt she’d been holding in then just about to burst out.
Auruo gives her a stern look from his place in the small kitchen, one that tries to reaffirm her that she’s doing the right thing while at the same time telling her to keep her mouth closed.
When he takes his leave to his bedroom, Petra is left alone, staring at Levi, who looks far from troubled - who looks peaceful for the first time in months now.
There’s no confusion, no futile effort being put in to hide his emotions, and no longing is there any yearning to be elsewhere in his gaze. He isn’t forcing himself to act normal, he finally looks like he feels okay - and that makes Petra want to keep her mouth close.
It makes her swallow down all the vile thoughts she has to herself for keeping this from him - even though it means protecting him while lying - and give him a bright smile when he looks at her.
Levi finally notices her silent presence when he looks away from his laptop briefly to her and then back, greeting her plainly before focusing back on the article he was reading earlier.
“Welcome home,” he says. “If I was anyone else, I’m sure that your silence would be terrifying.”
Petra actually laughs.
“Sorry, sorry,” she says, still grinning from ear to ear. “I was just thinking about something.”
Levi hums in curiosity, but says nothing else.
Petra knows what it means, what Levi is doing. He’s offering an ear to listen if she needs someone; he’s not forcing her but allowing her the chance to vent.
She wishes she could take him up on that offer.
“Oh, it’s nothing serious, of course,” she chuckles nervously, which elicits a raised eyebrow from her roommate, but nothing else. “It’s just a lot of wondering, you know?”
“Would you care to elaborate?” he asks, giving her a bit of a skeptical look now after witnessing her nerves.
“The rules,” she answers, and immediately after wishes she’d thought better of it.
It’s the first wrong, she thinks, bringing up this kind of thing to Levi of all people, knowing that he can’t and won’t turn her down even with such a topic.
She sees his shoulders tense, the way his eyes go blank on the text that he was previously reading, and how his lips have formed a thin line. One of his many tells.
“What about them?”
She imagines Levi having to grit the words out through his bared teeth, sees the way they seemed too rough to say on his tongue, and his throat being so dry that it’s painful for him to utter.
“Why are they there?”
Levi looks away from the electronic screen and scoffs at her.
“That’s the last thing I ever expected to hear you ask me, Petra,” he confesses. “This is the type of thing we’ve known of for years now.”
“No,” she says,” this is the type of thing we’ve been told for years now, with no proof of how not following the rules could endanger us.”
“I think I’d be a prime example of how,” he responds.
“Yes, you would. But not in terms of being hurt by humans, Levi,” she emphasizes. “You were being threatened by the system that’s supposed to protect us.”
“I broke the rules,” he monotones. “I’m pretty sure that I didn’t qualify to be protected under the council anymore.”
“That’s bullshit and you know it!” she shouts, startling them both. “Why are you acting like you deserved to be punished like this?”
“I’m not,” he says. “I just know that I probably deserved worse. I was lucky, Petra.”
“It’s not called luck. You were saved because of Erwin and we all knew that would have happened.”
He sighs. “What point are you trying to make here?”
“I’m saying… we’ve all ignored how cruel our system is. We always turned a blind eye on the people we used to care about because they broke one stupid rule. That’s always been unfair, and we’ve always known it.”
“If that’s the case, then why haven’t you said or done anything about it until now?” They both don’t fail to notice how it’s her, not them together.
“Because I was scared,” she says quietly. “I’ve always been scared, Levi, but you taught me that that was okay, as long as I was okay with it. I’m just now realizing that I’m not. I know how wrong everything is and I want to fix it.”
“Because of me?”
“No, for all of us,” she corrects. “You are important to me - so many things are - but you’re only one in thousands of reasons for me deciding to do the right thing.”
She closes the distance between them and takes a seat next to him on the sofa.
“And what exactly would qualify as the right thing, Petra?”
“First, telling you the truth,” she decides.
There is a brief silence.
“What do you mean the ‘truth’?”
“I… I was assigned to watch over Eren with Auruo,” she says, looking down at her twiddling thumbs, nervous. “I volunteered to, actually. I wanted to meet him, I wanted to know why you would risk your life for him like that.”
Levi stares at her, his eyes seeming calm, but undoubtedly upset.
“And did you find it?”
“Yes, I did,” she admits. “He’s wonderful, Levi. He’s so kind and caring and such a good person. I can understand why you would open up to him like that. I can understand if you have fallen in love with him, too,” she adds.
Levi gives her no response, instead settling to look away. To seem less interested.
Petra knows it must hurt him, but she can’t stop now.
“He loves you, too,” she says, hoping to ease him even if it causes him more longing in the end. “Every time he talks about you, he gets this look in his eyes.”
“He told his family about you. About how much he misses you and wants you back.
“He’s pregnant, Levi.”
Levi finally looks up.
:) Thoughts? Suggestions? Predictions? I'm willing to all. I've finally got the most of this story outlined, and I'm currently writing chapter seven right now. It won't be too long before this story is done now, and a new one will be posted!
Chapter 6: The Next Mistake
“I fucked up.”
“Falling in love with him or getting him pregnant and leaving him all alone?”
“All of it.”
He remembers back when he first had this feeling, this disgusting need to be close to him, and how much it had hurt to lose him. Over the months it grew easier to handle, just like anything else he’d dealt with in the past, but just like those incidents, the wound can easily be reopened with just a small slip.
But Levi had become more confident and sure of himself, more like the creature he is supposed to be - at least according to the council. When he takes his meals out, it’s just for a small snack before the real feast. He allows himself to let his mind go blank and let the sexual energy fill him, allows himself to just focus on the enjoyment.
He stays within the curfew he’d been given after court, and thrives on the awed looks of his other kind when they watch him in everyday life. He ignores the hated looks, the voices that tell him that he did not deserve to make it out of that room alive, that he is filthy for even thinking of being with a human like that and then actually doing it.
Levi tells himself that he is lucky to be alive, and because of that, he decides to not make anymore of the stupid mistakes he’d made in the past.
His true family lives with him, is with him always - or at least that’s what he told himself until he was forced to face the truth, the lingering possibility that had always lurked in the back of his mind.
“I’m sorry?” he says, confused and finally looks up from his laptop and to his roommate. To Petra, who looks at him with such pain. “What did you say?”
“I said… Eren is pregnant,” she repeats, with more fever this time.
He curses the man that makes him act in recklessness - the one he is still without and the one inside of him, yearning still.
There was only so much waiting he could do before he would explode, and Levi knew that. He knew that his time was getting shorter by the weeks.
Petra knew exactly what she was doing when she told him that Eren would bear his child. She knew that she would be opening an old wound and leaving him craving the younger man once more, but she also knew that he needed this. He needed a chance at a happier life again, and because of that, she had agreed to keep him safe from the council when he went to see Eren again.
Not if he did, but when.
She knew him so well.
So while Levi tried not to look like a freak spying through his ex-lover’s balcony glass doors, Petra was surveying the area and keeping him safe from watching eyes - both the council and the nosiest humans.
The first thing he notices when he has taken stand on the deck is the neatness that comes with the area, even with so many months having spent away from Levi. Without his permission, he smiles softly and approaches the locked glass doors. He cuffs his hands above his eyebrows and tries to avoid scowling at the steady dust collection on the glass.
Well, that part of Eren hasn’t seemed to have changed.
The thought of scolding him on the matter escapes him when he catches sight of a older woman moving about the living room, dressed in worn work clothes and her dark brown hair pull back into a messy bun.
Already just the sight of her has Levi’s heart stopping.
Eren had told him many a time about his mother - described her in ways Levi never knew possible, so it isn’t too strange that he feels as if he knows her.
Tempted to do more than watch, to perhaps see Eren again, Levi nearly forgets to move out of Carla’s line of sight when she looks over at the balcony glass doors. But Petra is his savior - in more ways than one - and she pulls him along and away before things can get too messy.
“How do you feel?”
It’s the first thing she says to him after a long period of silence sitting still in the unmoving car.
Levi turns away from the dimmed windows and to his roommate, his friend, face a mask of emotion.
“I don’t know.”
But she could never be fooled. “You can say you’re upset, Levi, but don’t just lie to me like that.”
It’s the utter sadness in her voice that makes him lose it, that makes him bite his lower lip and clench his fists and acknowledge the fact that he was more than just a little stupid so many months ago. Now, it feels like years, ages.
A past life he still clings onto.
“I fucked up.”
“Falling in love with him or getting him pregnant and leaving him all alone?”
“All of it.”
Petra jerks her head over to him, her eyes narrowed. “Don’t you dare fucking say you would have been better off not ever meeting him. Don’t you dare.”
Levi stops running his fingers through his hair abruptly at her tone of voice, his nervous gestures easing at her certainty.
“Are you going to tell me that this was for the best?”
“No, I’m not going to do that, even if I think it’s true,” she says, “because I know that shit like that doesn’t help you. I know that telling you this is better isn’t going to work. I know you, Levi, and you tend to overthink shit and even though I’m sick and tired of it, it’s how you are.”
He rests his hand down. “Then what are you trying to say?”
“What you’ve told everyone you’ve met for years now: You can’t change the past, you can only live with it and try to do better.”
“My words don’t mean shit, Petra. It’s what I tell myself to try and ignore things, and you know it.”
“You’re right. Those were the words of a broken man who had no one. You have grieved for your past before, so you can do it again and move pass it.”
“It’s not that simple.”
“You think I don’t know that?” she says, voice rising. “I do, I really, really do, but there’s only so much help I can give you, Levi. Crying over Eren isn’t going to make it better, and neither is getting him and your unborn child killed over your foolishness either.”
Involuntarily, he swallows hard. “You expect me to stay away from him now? You know how stupid that is, don’t you? You, of all people, should know the risks he has, and you expect me to ignore them and move on.” He turns his eyes away from her, voice calm, but thoughts fuming. “If that was the case, then you never should have told me in the first place.”
“I couldn’t keep that from you.”
“Maybe you should have.”
Their usual silence by now is drowned out by the sound of quickening rain, but Petra makes no move to return home just yet.
Hands in her lap and eyes on her friend, she sucks up her pride and speaks up.
“I’m sorry.” Levi doesn’t move an inch. “I really am. And you - you’re right. I’m expecting way too much from you. I know I can’t just expect you to be content with leaving him be, and neither will you be fine with just getting the occasional update on him. So…”
By this point, Levi has begun to acknowledge her, head tilted just the slightest to show he’s listening, fists tightening at each word she speaks.
“So, I suppose no one can blame you if you get a little risky. I mean… none of us saw it coming. You were doing well, and on all of Auruo and I’s watches, you weren’t around. I have no clue how you could have found out our schedule and managed to see him.”
Levi looks at her in an instant, eyes wide, lips quivering in a way no one would notice unless they were this close.
She quickly puts her pointer finger over her lips and shushes him, shaking her head.
She doesn't want to hear any more of his pain through his thank-yous.
Petra did it all.
She and Hanji both filled him in well on Eren’s condition, along with his progress so far. It was still much to take in, but with both of their wit and humor, Levi could almost ignore the worse of the situation.
When Petra gave him the go ahead to see Eren again, to touch him, he felt happy. Her only rule was that Eren could not truly talk to him just yet, not right away anyway, because he was questioning - he was stubborn and he would not allow Levi to leave him another time.
If that were to happened, there was no doubt of what would come of them, and because of that mere possibility, Levi succumbed her wish, even with the loneliness that came with it.
His first visit to Eren was late in the night, when he knew the boy would probably be asleep, and for once, he put the ancient powers of his kind to use.
He knows that in the histories, before they had evolved further on in life, they would appear to their victim as dreams. Nowadays, such a thing is quite a feat - entering the home and awakening the person’s mind, tweaking it to see what he wishes - but Levi is skilled.
He had studied the ancient ways with the help of Hanji years ago, and even now he is well aware of what he needs to do.
He grabs door handle of the balcony, turning the knob slowly, slowly, and then putting forth the needed effort. It clicks open, and with just much ease as he taken to when getting to this floor level, he enters the dark living room and closes the door quietly behind him.
It still looks the same - lived in more than ever, even, and Levi swallows down the need that surges up inside of him to stay.
Instead of acknowledging it, he walks down the narrow hallway to Eren’s bedroom, where the door remains cracked and dim in lightening.
The door makes little to no sound upon him opening it further to get a glimpse of the boy, but when he moves forward into the room, the floorboard squeaks.
Eren groans and digs his face further into his pillow.
The sight is adorable, but Levi still curses that shabby floorboard.
He approaches the nearby bedside, the closest to Eren he’s been in months, and finds that he can’t resist the urge to touch him. His cheek, skin still so soft; lips, still as pink as ever; and his messy bedhead.
A smile worms its way onto his face and he doesn’t try to stop it. Levi lowers himself to his knees, begins to slowly comb his fingers through the boy’s hair, bit by bit putting forth his energy into each caress.
After a moment of allowing his power to fester, Eren begins to stir, and when his eyes open, they aren’t the same as usual.
Wide, but not with awe or curiosity, more blank than anything else.
It’s eerie, but Levi doesn’t allow himself the chance to just stare.
“You’re not going to remember this,” he says quietly, voice a command, but still gentle.
“I’m not going to remember this,” Eren effortlessly repeats in a monotone voice.
“This is just a dream, nothing more.”
“Just a dream.”
“Now… I’m going to grant your wildness desires.”
With one blink, Eren’s eyes are dark and squinted. He rubs at his left eye with his knuckle and yawns, mumbling under his breath.
When he opens them again, they go wide with something more normal.
He smiles and cups his chin.
“Eren,” he breathes. “I’ve missed you so much.”
Next chapter is gonna be bomb af, not going to lie. Sorry for the cliffhanger again, I just couldn't help it.
I really appreciate the comments and kudos!
Chapter 7: A Promise
The only thing left to ground him is the numbness of his limbs as he sits on the floor and the urges tingling throughout his entire body.
They damn near feel like a plea for help.
Levi does not know what he had been expecting.
Despite having learned how to follow through with the power of his ancestors, he has never acted on it this way before. He had, of course, practiced with Hanji, but the bonds they formed were always so mellow, so he had never once felt the surge of emotions rushing at him like he does now.
Now, he can feel every slight change in Eren's feelings and he knows what Eren desires by heart. It's an out of the world sensation and Levi briefly wonders whether he's physically there when the emotions scream at him too loud. The only thing left to ground him is the numbness of his limbs as he sits on the floor and the urges tingling throughout his entire body.
They damn near feel like a plea for help.
He has to breathe hard through his nose to calm himself, but even that is not enough to get his own urges to quit. It's too much of a sensory overlord for him, and Levi isn't in the least surprised. Hanji had once said in the past that doing this sort of thing require a large amount of control and concentration - all of which Levi was currently struggling with. It was hard enough trying to keep his own emotions in control, but now he had to monitor Eren's too.
He is tempted to stop everything right there and leave, but Levi knows that he owes it to Eren to try harder.
Eren had gone through so much pain while waiting and wanting him, yet in the end all Levi wants is to stop being hurt. It was selfish of Levi to have left him from the start, much less to have tried to live without him while Eren struggled - left to deal with the remains of what Levi had left him.
That is why when the emotions finally clashed together, becoming one and far more manageable, he sought out a way to fulfill everything Eren desired even while knowing he would experience difficulty while doing so.
Eren’s hands quickly seek out the touch of Levi further. His fingers light and feathery, heart heavy, as he runs his hands along Levi’s body. Slow and careful, eerily so. He has composure that Levi never thought possible, and though it is clear from the bond that Eren is feeling a world wave of emotions, he keeps himself intact.
He does not whine or hit him, but caresses him in the way a lover would do to their lifelong significant other. But Levi does not deserve such a soothing touch, a gesture meant for a worthy man - someone he isn’t.
Eren doesn't care. He doesn’t ask why Levi won’t return the embrace, why he won’t speak to him in this siege of silence. He only accepts the little reaction he is given, like a man truly desperate for any sign of love.
But Levi knows he isn’t satisfied with this. He can feel through the sensations of their bond that Eren wants more. And even if not for the bond, he feels the trembling of his lover, hears the sniffles and resists pulling away when Eren presses his face into his chest, even for the clean freak in him that cringes at the idea of snot on his shirt.
He ignores every part of him that wants nothing more than to leave - to let Eren live a life without him - and closes his eyes and listens to the bond flowing through them instead.
The soft chirp and pull of the stings, of the ancients working their magic throughout them. He calms at the emotions flowing through him, at the sadness, relief, and desire calling out for him.
Levi allows Eren the chance to ease his worries, and only when Eren looks up at him again does his lover speak.
“Levi…” It’s deadly how much Levi thrives off hearing his name like that. “I… You’re… fuck!”
Eren drops his head, arms wrapped around himself in a poor attempt to hide himself.
“Where the fuck were you?” he whispers. “You left me again.”
“No more excuses, Levi. I can’t handle anymore lies.”
The sight of Eren in such a mess because of him makes Levi’s heart ache, and his hate for his actions, his guilt, shines through after so many months of ignoring how horrible it was for him to up and leave him once more.
Even though the council had given him plenty of time to explain the situation to Eren, he had decided to leave abruptly instead because he knew if he were to confront the matter he wouldn’t have be able to handle it.
And because he had figured being selfish would save him some pain, he only ended up causing Eren more pain.
“Why didn’t you ever forget about me?”
It leaves his lips like a secret, hidden behind thousands of sayings and images he’d rather not revisit in his hall of shame. Eren looks up at him in a mixture of hurt and surprise.
“How could I?” he says, hands going to rest in the softness of his sheets, fingers clenched in them as he holds back more tears. “You aren’t a very easy person to forget, Levi.”
“How wouldn’t I be? I was a stranger you met at a bar.”
“No, you were a stranger I’d been looking at for weeks on end,” he confesses, cheeks flushed. “When I first saw you, I thought you were the most beautiful thing on earth.”
“That’s kind of the charm of incubi,” Levi chuckles bitterly, looking away.
“Well, yeah,” Eren agrees. “Back then it was most definitely your… abilities that drew me in, but I figured out as I watched you that you were so much more than that. You were so cunning, in the way you drew others toward you, and you flaunted your intelligence in the way most people would find arrogant but…”
“But you found it attractive?”
“Yeah.” Eren rubs the back of his neck and averts his gaze from the now smiling man.
“You must have been watching me a long time.” It was not often someone could read him so well, only close friends were the exception, but this boy had managed to do so in a mere few weeks. “You were my own personal stalker.”
“Well, when you put it like that, it sounds rather creepy.”
“Don’t feel too bad,” Levi chuckles. “My kind tend to have that effect on people, so it’s nothing new.”
For a moment, Eren frowns and appears to be imagining the idea of Levi going through that. In doing so, his expression turns rather dark, causing Levi to laugh.
“Nothing I’m incapable of handling on my own,” he tries to reassure him.
“It’s still not an ideal situation.” Eren has always thought that Levi deserved to be worshipped and given everything he desires, that he deserves more than anything to be content. But Levi was not fond of the idea at all.
Still smiling, Levi ruffles his hair and resists the urge to kiss him right there. “I could never leave you of my own free will,” he admits, startling realization into Eren’s eyes.
“You…” He licks his lips and his expression appears hopeful. “You were forced to leave me? By who?”
From the looks of how his fist clenches, Levi knows exactly where his mind is going.
“I can’t tell you that. It’s against the rules, and I’m in deep enough shit already as it is.”
“Can you at least tell me where we went wrong for you to leave?” For you to be taken away from me?
“Everything,” he says, and the weight of the answer does not go passed Eren unnoticed.
He makes an inquisitive noise, and Levi shakes his head.
“Not now, we can talk about that later,” he responds, knowing there will probably be none of the like. “Tell me all that I’ve missed…” And with that comes a pointed look to an obvious pregnant belly.
Eren glances down with a curiously raised eyebrow, before he seems to understand. “Oh,” he says blankly.
The corner of Levi’s lips turn up just the slightest and his eyes light up.
“I’m glad you haven’t changed,” he says, and finally allows himself to give Eren the much needed drawn-out kiss he’s been craving.
The tension between them momentarily forgotten, Eren goes lax in Levi’s hold and allows himself to let a content sigh fall from his lips when they part just the slightest.
Breath warm against each other’s skin, Levi finds he cannot resist the urge to touch Eren further. He gives light and slow touches; the kind not meant to be sexual but searching. Reminding himself of what he’d missed for so long.
Eren provides no complaints.
He touches Eren’s hair and face, his sensitive neck and sturdy chest, arms, but he stops abruptly when he is met with the sight of Eren’s rounded belly.
Eren follows his gaze when the soothing touches stop.
“Levi?” He doesn’t look up. Eren frowns and takes one of his hands in his and places it on his belly carefully, as if giving him time to pull away if it really makes him that uncomfortable. “You don’t have to be afraid.”
He looks up, meeting warm green eyes. His heart is beating hard against his chest and his fingers are trembling. In his fit of nerves the last thing Levi expects is the feel movement against his hand.
Quickly, his shocked look becomes a grin. “Yeah, he… fuck, he’s kicking.”
“Does it hurt?” Levi asks, trying to hide his amazement as he rubs at Eren’s belly.
“A little bit,” he admits. “But it’s worth it.”
Levi opens his mouth but closes it the next second. A warm feeling stirs within his chest as he stares at Eren, at the proud look on his face and the eagerness displayed in his actions.
Eren rests his hand on top of Levi’s, his skin hot to the touch. Levi nearly jumps at the feel of it, which startles a laugh out his lover.
He scowls. Eren had never payed this much attention to him before, but he supposes the change makes sense considering the past events between them and their relationship.
“What is it?” Eren asks, but Levi is nearly as stubborn as his lover.
The personality trait creates many contests between the two, most being unreasonable, but more than anything it allows them to understand the other better. So much so that they know what makes each other cave in.
Eren tightens his grip on Levi’s hand, gives it a quick squeeze of reassurance, and then he pleads.
Levi sighs deeply but finds himself giving into Eren’s wishes. It’s an unfair tactic, as Eren knows that Levi is incapable of resisting his begging. The way he puffs his cheeks, his puppy-dog eyes, and the unsatisfied look on his face… it’s both adorable and annoying.
“You’re going through with it, aren’t you?”
Eren looks a little taken aback by the question.
“I mean, I thought it was obvious…?”
Levi averts his eyes to the floor. “I guess it should be, but…”
“But what?” The playfulness disappears. Eren’s eyes have narrowed and his previously reddened cheeks have begun to turn back to his usual dark tan. Levi has to force himself to keep steady. “Did you think I wouldn’t want to keep him?”
“That’s not what I meant and you know it.”
“I don’t, actually,” he laughs dryly. “How am I supposed to know anything about you?”
“I didn’t mean for it to sound like that. Believe me, Eren, you know me better than most people,” he tries to assure, looking up at Eren. His eyebrows are furrowed deeply, his eyes wrinkled at the edges. He looks pained.
“I doubt that,” he brushes him off. “Maybe I knew you months ago, but now? It’s probably not possible. People can change a lot over a four months time span.”
“People can change at any time, but that doesn’t mean they do,” he retorts. “I’ve been thinking about you the entire time we’ve been separated. You never left me -”
“But you left me.”
The rest of Levi’s words die on his tongue.
He had anticipated this. He had thought of what might happen and how he would deal with things if Eren pushed him away, but even thinking of it could not erase the pain that came with it happening.
Levi had figured things might be okay since Eren hadn’t lashed out on him right away, but now Levi can acknowledge just how foolish he was to have thought that.
“I did,” he agrees.
“You left me all alone and I… I didn’t know what to do,” he sobs.
Levi’s heart begins to throb in pain at the sight of Eren crying, but he can’t begin himself to look away. He won’t.
Eren’s words begin to crumb about the same time that his body does. He crouches in on him and covers his face. He tries to speak, but each sentence begun always trails off after another fit of cries.
Levi can’t hold himself back any longer.
He gets off of the floor and takes a seat on the bed. Then he wraps his arms around Eren’s curled up form.
Eren tries to fight him at first. He makes protesting noises and pushes against his chest, slaps him and calls him angry names.
Levi doesn’t let him go.
He lets his lover call him all the names he’s called himself the past few months and lets Eren inflict any physical damage onto his body. He doesn’t pull away and try to escape the worsening blows to his face, and he doesn’t try to ignore Eren’s pain any longer.
When Eren has finally stops trying to force him away, he buries his soaked face into Levi’s neck and clings onto him.
Levi forgets the stinging of the open wounds on his face and begins to whisper soothing words into his lover’s ear.
“It’s okay now,” he says. “I’m not going to leave you again. You won’t be alone anymore.”
By the time Eren’s cries have been muddled down to sniffles and the occasional hiccup, they are both entangled together in the blankets and sheets while lying on the bed.
Eren pulls his face out of Levi’s neck and Levi lets him.
He turns away from his sniffling lover and over to the end table briefly enough just to grab a box of tissues, and then he begins to dab at his reddened skin.
“I’m sorry,” Eren mumbles, looking away in embarrassment. “I don’t know what came over me.”
“It really isn’t,” he continues. “I just broke down like that on you and I hurt you. You didn’t deserve that.”
Levi sighs and sets down the tissues he was using, then rests a hand under Eren’s chin and encourages him to look up at him.
“Listen, I know you’re just going to argue with me no matter what I say,” he begins, making Eren pout. “But I’m telling you that you being upset with me like this is nothing compared to what I did to you, and that nothing you do to me from this point on is going to deter me from supporting you.”
Eren looks upset for a moment, his lips pressed together hard, but his expression lifts a little at Levi’s words. “You’re… not just saying that because you feel like you have to, right?”
Levi smiles. “You know me, Eren. Am I really the type of person to do something I really don’t want to?”
Eren hesitates, his mind no doubt lingering on the abandonment issue, but by the end of his thought process he is nodding with understanding. “So you’ll stay?”
“I’ll be around,” he answers, and when Eren smiles Levi feels like his heart might stop. “Now go back to sleep, I’ll stay with you until you wake up in the morning time.”
And this time, he does.
I had an iffy time with this chapter, but the end result is finally to my standards. Not to mention the late updating for it since I messed up the format beforehand. But nonetheless, I hope this chapter was enjoyable.
Chapter 8: A Second Chance
“Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!” Petra shouts, drawing the attention of departing employees and a few others waiting in the lounge. “You’re not going to pull this shit right now. Do not shut down and pity yourself. This isn’t about you, Levi. This was never about you, it was always him and it’s always going to be that way, you got it?” Her voice is nothing more than a seething whisper, but Levi still finds trembles moving throughout his body.
After having re-read this chapter for like the hundredth time, I think it's time I just drop it and leave it be. I might edit it later, but until then, please just ignore my horrible beginning lines. Goddamn.
Also, just for anyone who is unaware I do plan to have this finish before the end of 2017. In part because I'm sick of just having this fic breathe down my neck and also because I actually want it done. There are some parts of this that I'm really proud of, and I'm thinking that it's not so bad now that I've gone back and rewritten some parts. I've definitely improved over the years, you know?
Anyway, you can expect the next update for this sometime by the end of March/beginning of April. It depends on how busy I am, but I have a goal of this year to update my fics at least twice a month. Sometimes it's random, sometimes I have a plan.
Also for a little note, the timeline in this chapter is a little fucked and I did that on purpose. I think if you think about it, it isn't that difficult, but if anyone's confused, I'm willing to explain better. Just ask! :)
Boo. Now I hope you enjoy the chapter if any of you stuck around to read my rambles!
Levi was a selfish man, and an inquisitive one at that. It was only natural that he’d been an over-thinker as well, a hardcore worrier. Emotions were not as obvious on him, though, so it was common for people to see him as some type of emotionless prick, but he was far from it.
He was the type of person to act and then regret it later when he first started out, but over time he evolved into something different. He acted in a way that would aid him in life, no matter the consequences involved.
Often, he tried to be considerate, but in an attempt to not cause himself further hurt, he lessened the times he did so. His thoughtful comments and actions were limited to his housemates, and the false ones were displayed to his victims.
Eren blended the separate sides of Levi together, forming him once more into a man he both loathed and desired.
Just like everything else in the world, being alongside Eren came with its benefits and its setbacks. Levi felt happier, though it was certainly a letdown to leave his lover alone at the first sight of day.
He spent his nights visiting him thrice a week, and the rest of his time was left to be thinking of Eren or his child.
Levi’s free time began to sink as he dug himself deeper, putting all he had to offer into his feelings for Eren. He was at his side whenever possible, and when he wasn’t, he was talking to Petra or Hanji about him.
The time was always limited, and soon it began to shrink further and further, all up until Levi had to disappear once more, but vastly different from the last time.
Petra had informed him that he would be having an updated trial in the upcoming month, and if things went well, he would be fully forgiven and let off on good behavior. But Levi couldn’t just continue seeing Eren, because in the following week, there would be others set off to watch him in hopes of catching him doing something unworthy.
Levi couldn’t let that happen. For Eren’s sake, their child’s, and his own.
Levi’s heart was a lot heavily the night he went to see Eren after Petra’s words. He felt as if he was doing something horrid, leaving Eren alone the rest of the week. Part of him feared that something alike the months spent without his lover and Eren would be left alone once more.
But thinking on the “what if”s was a pointless battle, one that Levi had yet to win in all his years of life. So rather than linger on them, he gave all of his attention to Eren.
The male had gotten larger right before Levi’s eyes and even Levi couldn’t hide how excited he was. When he saw Eren lying in bed and breathing steadily, his hand rested on his stomach lovingly, the troubles of the future vanished.
Levi followed through his regular routine of “waking” Eren up, and then proceeded to talk with him in his arms. It was a comforting position for the both of them, and neither complained when conversation paused. Their silence wasn’t awkward or tense in the slightest - it was calm, because they were nearby each other and words didn’t need to be forced.
If Levi ran out of things to say, Eren could feel the silence easily with the random thoughts popping in his mind. Things like what he ate that day or what annoyed him the most. The little stuff.
This night, it’s simple.
Eren rests his head on Levi’s chest, listening to his heartbeat and humming. The sound is soothing enough to cause Levi to close his eyes and nearly zone out. He doesn’t, of course, because he knows that tonight can’t be just their usual.
When Eren starts to go about his day, he listens intently, as usual. He says how much his feet ached this morning and how annoying wobbling is getting - he can’t wait until the baby is out already because his kicks, though they were adorable at first, are getting quite irritating now.
Eren rambles on and on about how his ex-coworkers have been chatting him up as of late after having spoken to Carla, who couldn’t help but brag about her future grandchild. Apparently, Jean and Connie were planning to come over sometime next week and catch up in person. Eren is excited about that, though he claims that Jean is an asshole.
When Eren’s words die down, Levi encourages him to sit up and he begins to give his lover a back massage to help conflict with the strain the pregnancy has been giving him. He’s in the middle of rubbing the palm of his hand into a tight muscle when Eren speaks up.
“There’s…,” he stops midway through a groan of pleasure before continuing, “something you want to say, isn’t there?”
Levi doesn’t even bother with denying it at this point and he hums in agreement. “Lotion,” he mutters, and Eren hands him a half-empty bottle of cocoa butter, eager for him to continue. Levi squirts out some of the beige liquid onto his palm and warms his up with his hands before he goes on. “I’m going to be gone for awhile.”
“For business. I should be back the week after next,” he answers, moving his hands onto Eren’s belly. “I’m not missing this.”
Eren can’t help but smile. “You better not.”
Hanji had said that Eren’s due date was approaching steadily, and while Levi knew for a fact that he wouldn’t be able to be at the birth of his child, he planned to come the night afterward and cherish his lover and child for himself.
He wished that he didn’t.
Levi dresses up well for his court date. He’s got on dark slacks and buffed loafers, tagged along with his pure white undershirt, black blazer, and navy tie. His hair is freshly trimmed and combed, his skin glowing.
Erwin had told him that making a good impression was key. While Levi was sure that changing the minds of those who already hated him was impossible, he wasn’t going to pass up the chance to try. This trial was everything, and he had spent the past week acting just like it was.
He had followed through a set schedule without even acknowledging the existence of his lover or even humans without seeming them as prey, and in doing so, he felt confident now.
As Levi walks into the courtroom, he does so with class. He doesn’t slouch or groan when he sits, he does so elegantly with his legs crossed and his gaze steady. He looks each of the members of the board head on, and he swears that he sees a look of pride from Erwin’s direction.
He doesn’t acknowledge it even though it damn near makes him smile, and instead he spends his time listening to a member of the board list off the most notable events from their reports and then reprimand him for his past actions.
The council goes over its previous evidence of his crimes once more before the voting starts.
Levi has kept his snarky comments to himself throughout the entire process, which is a feat in itself, and now he can’t help but smile as each member states their decision.
Innocent. Innocent. Guilty. Innocent. Guilty. Innocent. Innocent. The list goes all until all ten of the higher ups have spoken.
Levi is ruled free to go with only a warning, and he outright grins.
He leaves the court with glee despite how hot he feels in his clothing and how drained the situation leaves him. Petra walks alongside him. She had been required to participate in the trial because of her role as his supervisor, but now her job is done. She makes Levi feel even hotter by hugging him close, but he doesn’t mind it as much as he probably should.
They approach Petra’s vehicle and by the time they are both seated inside, Levi is still unable to sit still. His fingers are tapping against the inside of his thigh and his lips are upturned, humming a light beat.
Petra pulls out of the parking space and takes to the road, a wide grin on her face. She glances over to Levi and giggles. “I think this is the happiest I’ve seen you in a while,” she comments.
Levi has half a mind to pretend to be annoyed, but his mood changes his mind about doing so. Instead he only hums in acknowledgement and stares out the window, watching the people they pass by on the sidewalks.
The most notable pair is a family of three. The mother and father are holding hands with their child, allowing the boy to swing back and forth without fear of falling. The trust and safety in each of their actions speaks volumes.
Levi’s attention is drawn back to the inside of the car when a phone buzzes. He looks away from the window.
“Can you get that for me, Levi?”
Levi nods and reaches in Petra’s pantsuit pocket, wiggling around in the tight fabric, before he pulls out her cellphone. He clicks the on button and is swarmed with a list of notifications - missed calls and a single text.
Levi scrolls through the notifications with wide eyes before he opens the text, his heartbeat picking up.
This is Carla. Eren’s water broke, and we’re currently at the hospital. Please call me when you get this. Thank you.
“Levi, what is it?”
The car stopped at a red light and Petra looked over at Levi, spotting his shocked expression.
Petra frowns when she realizes that she won’t manage a response, and she grabs the phone from him.
The light changes and the car behinds them honks in annoyance, but Petra pays them no mind. Instead she sucks in a deep breath and clutches her phone tightly.
“Change of course,” she mutters under her breath. “Hold on tight, Levi, we’re switching lanes.”
She threw the phone into his lap and took hold of the wheel before stepping down on the gas pedal.
“Yogurt…” Eren mumbles, searching through the fridge earnestly. He had a horrible craving for some vanilla yogurt, and while he was so sure earlier that his mother had picked up some yesterday at the store, now he wasn’t. He had been at it forever now, and there was no doubt that he had searched top and bottom for a single yogurt cup.
Pouting, Eren straights up from bending down and closes the fridge. His stomach growls and he pats it in an attempt to ease the beast. “Believe me, you’re not the only one starving here,” he comments, walking over to the cabinets. He opens one and settles on a box of crackers for now.
At least his eating habits seemed more normal as of late.
He closes the cabinet and leaves the kitchen. It’s right then that he feels something wet trail down the inside of his thigh. Eren makes a small noise in confusion and looks down. He’s dressed lightly in only a large, loose t-shirt and his boxers, and the liquid running down his leg reaches his sight after a moment’s staring.
Still in a minor shock over the event, Eren sets down his box of crackers and begins to walk into the living room, where he knows he left his phone.
The moment he’s step into the warm space, he’s on the floor, not quite sure why. He tries to sit up, but his legs are weak and his stomach pangs horribly. Eren clutches at his belly and lets out a groan, squeezing his eyes shut.
“Shit…” Immediately, he knows that something is wrong. Not only is it earlier than Hanji had predicted, but she had never mentioned his water breaking like this. She had said that it wouldn’t be too painful, hadn’t she? Eren lets out a whimper and tries to inch closer to his phone. He jiggles the end table with the electronic on it, but the pain that flows throughout his body afterward wills him to stop.
He drops back down to the floor and wraps his arms around himself, whining. He can only hope that the pain won’t last.
Adjusting to work life again wasn’t that difficult for Carla Yeager. Amongst her travels she had helped with a variety of different cases as a retired nurse. She had volunteered as a doctor’s assistant, taken care of kids at a small village’s school, and had a child herself that had a tendency care well for himself… Well, it was easy to say that she had plenty of experience, not even mentioning the past thirty years she had spent working as a nurse before her retirement five years ago.
She hadn’t ever planned to go back to that life even though she had plenty of great memories from it, but if it meant helping out her son and her soon to be grandchild, she could work a little bit longer until Eren was capable of doing it himself again.
Truthfully, she had never once thought she would have gotten to have a grandchild. Eren, though his sexuality was fairly fluid, had tended to lean more towards men and showed no signs of wanting kids even by adoption (though that could have easily just been because of how young he was). And with how low the chance was for male pregnancy, she had become resigned to the fact years ago that the Yeager family would probably just die out.
She was happy to hear that was not the case now, even though it would just be Eren and her alone, with the other father completely out of the picture. Just the thought of it was almost enough to get her riled up, but over the past few months she had also adjusted to it. At least Eren had seemed to have cheered up a lot more over the span of weeks.
Carla Yeager worked at Trost General Hospital, primarily as a co-lead in staff training. If the hospital was short on hand, she would aid the remaining employees with the rest of the patients, but that tended to be rare. Because of this, she usually only worked from eight in the morning to five in the evening time. Sometimes she stayed late on the weekends, but she usually returned home just before Eren died of boredom alone.
Today is not any different.
The house is quiet as she pulls off her work shoes, leaving them by the door. She shrugs off her jacket and hangs it up by the coat hook in the entrance, depositing her keys in the small bowl on the entrance desk.
She figures that Eren must have turned in early for the day, most likely an effect of his pregnancy, since he’d usually be up and about around this time of day. But then she walks into the living room, a dark figure catching her stare out of the corner her eye. She turns to face it, staring down at the floor, with a bit of hesitation before everything clicks.
Carla is on her knees beside her son before she can even think twice about it. Eren is curled up, looking incredibly pale. She almost shakes him in her urge to find some sign of life, but she inhales deeply and forces herself to focus on her nursing training.
She can handle this.
She rests her hand over her son’s chest, holding her own breath as she listens, feels, for his. The world seems to have frozen for a long period of time until she feels his shaky exhale, and then she doesn’t feel like she was drowning as much anymore.
“Eren…” she calls his name gently, shaking lightly at his shoulder. It gains no other response than a groan, so she inches closer. It is then that she becomes aware of something warm soaking her scrubs. Slowly, she looks down and sees that her blue scrubs are soaking up a dark liquid.
This time Carla can’t hold in the sob crawling out of her throat, but she at least manages to pull out her phone and dial the number for the ambulance.
“Oh God,” someone cries. “He’s been like this for hours, Hanji. You said it would help.”
“It should. You should remember that this is my first time dealing with this type of thing.”
There is muffled sob and then the sound of a door being slammed shut.
Someone sighs heavily and the bed dips. A warm hand lays heavily over his forehead, and Eren can’t help but leaning up into it, crazily craving the cozy feeling. He feels as if he’s been shivering for ages now.
Whoever it is providing the heat indulges him without a second’s hesitation, tightening the blanket around him and pressing closer.
It feels nice, for a brief moment, before the cold returns.
Eren doesn’t remember anything else after that.
Petra arrives at the hospital as soon as she can, but it seems that things have cooled down a bit by the time she’s there. The place isn’t bustling as much as she’d thought it would have, and those sitting in the waiting room aren’t acting insane. She figures that Carla, if the woman is even out here, is at least eased by something. It could not have been that bad then.
Levi seems to think otherwise. His suits is in ruins, his tie crinkled with how much he had fiddle with it on his way here. He is pale and sweaty, practically reeking of anxiety.
Petra has to pull him close as they approach the front desk, asking for details. She had expected to be directed to the waiting area after they’d asked though, so it was not surprising at all for her when they were given nothing but the bare minimum of details.
Levi buries his face into her shoulder, clutching deadly tight onto her hand, and mutters, “What the fuck? She can’t just say only family is allowed; if she knew that -”
Petra sighs and rests her head on top of Levi’s, pulling him as close as possible. “Actually she can and you know this, Levi. Besides, she doesn’t know that you’re the father, and she can’t.”
Levi mutters something else into her shoulder, but Petra can’t translate it and decides it isn’t worth worrying over.
They are resigned to doing nothing more than waiting, and the last thing she wants is to throw Levi into any other kind of distress.
It’s around thirty minutes later when someone approaches them, and Petra won’t admit that even she is a little disappointed that it isn’t the desk lady. But it’s quickly eased when a familiar face, though marred by tears, reaches her eyes.
“Carla,” she says softly, and Levi perks up just the slightest, his face still hidden in her shoulder. She won’t say anything to him about it, but her blazer is darkened more than normal for something that should be a light gray. “How are you?”
Carla huffs and wipes at her eyes with a tissue - one she must have been holding for a long while now -, then she looks at Petra and smiles almost bitterly. “I could be better.” Her voice is croaky, clearly a sign that she’s been crying for a long time by now, and Petra can’t help but wince.
“How are… things?”
Carla looks as if she plans to answer, before she seems to have finally noticed the man beside Petra. She stares at him curiously, almost as if analyzing him, before she decides to leave it be for now.
“Eren’s been in and out of consciousness for hours now,” she says, frowning. “And when I found him, he’d been bleeding a lot. Even now they’ve only managed to just slow it.”
Petra inhales sharply. “But he’s doing better, isn’t he?”
Carla just shrugs. “I suppose you could say that. The only plus is that the baby isn’t in danger anymore.”
“She had the cord around her neck, but they managed to get her loose during the C-section earlier. Now she’s just being cleaned up and examined for her health.”
Petra can’t help a small smile. “A girl, huh? You must be very happy.”
“Yes, well.” Even this couldn’t help but brighten Carla up, even if it was only by a small amount. “I can’t say I’m not. I always wanted a little girl.”
“I think Eren will be excited when he wakes up.”
“I hope so.”
Petra doesn’t know what part of the comment she is referring to, but she decides she’d rather not ask.
Carla leaves them in the waiting room sometime later when one of the nurses pull her aside. She looks far more worse for wear as she leaves, and Levi finally manages to pull away from Petra when Eren’s mother is gone.
He inhales sharply, wiping futilely at his face, and then looks over at Petra.
“You know what the nurse said to Carla, don’t you?” Petra asks gently, holding her own breath.
At this, Levi smiles. The expression is so warped that it manages to make Petra shiver and she has to ask him to stop before she probs him further.
“He’s probably so cold,” Levi comments with a sour look, sagging back into the hard chair. “The doctors don’t know why, but his body won’t take any nutrients anymore and his breathing is shallow. They don’t know why,” he repeats, “but they’ve seen this sort of thing happen before, or at least heard of it.”
“Levi…” Petra says, a hint of alarm in her voice. “You’re not saying that…”
Levi jerks his head to stare at her. “I don’t have to say anything because you already know, don’t you?”
Petra breathes out shakily and is on her feet in a heartbeat, looking down on Levi for once in so long. “That can’t… we can’t just do that to Carla. She’s not going to be able to handle this… I can’t…” Petra sniffles and wipes at her eyes, getting rid of the approaching tears. “You have to be able to do something, don’t you?”
Levi laughs and shakes his head. “Do what, Petra? There’s nothing else I can do to help him… There was never anything I could do for that idiot, and he… he still went after me and now I fucked him over. He’s never going to get to live because I -”
“Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!” Petra shouts, drawing the attention of departing employees and a few others waiting in the lounge. “You’re not going to pull this shit right now. Do not shut down and pity yourself. This isn’t about you, Levi. This was never about you, it was always him and it’s always going to be that way, you got it?” Her voice is nothing more than a seething whisper, but Levi still finds trembles moving throughout his body.
“But I…” His words are wobbly, his throat stuffy and seeming to imply upcoming tears, but they never come. “I can’t do anything.”
Petra seems to hesitate for a moment before she works up the nerve to grab Levi by the shoulders and stare him in the eye up close. “You know what you can do.”
It takes a minute, but soon enough recognition shines in Levi’s dull grey. “Okay,” he whispers, both to himself and Petra. “Okay.”
Petra manages to get him into Eren’s room with Carla’s help, but not without raising any further suspicion. Carla stares at him the entire time he’s walking along with her, and he can see how she starts to ask something but then change her mind, as if she’s too scared of the answer to go through with any of her millions of questions.
Levi’s not even sure what Petra told Carla in order to get the woman to help him without any further questioning or hesitation, but it seems to have been more than enough since Carla actually leaves him alone with Eren without a second thought.
He watches her go before he turns to face Eren, who is lying on the bed so still it’s almost impossible to tell that he’s breathing until you’re up close. Levi can hear own heart beating rapidly in his ears as he inches close enough to take a seat on the bed. The spot is vaguely warm, so he figures that someone else must have been lingering earlier.
Which means he doesn’t have time to fool around.
Levi swallows hard and then caresses Eren’s tan cheek with his right hand, leaning in close. The younger is too cold for it to be normal, especially with the amount of blankets covering him, and Levi has to hold back his own shiver.
“I shouldn’t have done this to you,” he whispers, resting his forehead against Eren’s. “I’m fucking sorry. I swear I’ll fix it. I’m gonna do right by you.”
Then Levi sucks in a deep breath and kisses Eren, trying to ignore how eerie it is to kiss him without any response in return. He runs his finger through that messy brown hair, trying to ignore the urge telling him to pull back as his arms get lazy, tight with pain, and his body starts to ache.
He keeps giving - keeps surrendering his own strength, until he can barely keep himself upright without wanting to vomit. Then he struggles to pull away and keep himself steady as he overlooks Eren once more. His color skin is the same pale color, but his breathing is significantly more pronounced as his chest rises and falls with ease. No more stuttering breaths.
Just the sight makes Levi grin, but it falls just as quick when he nearly hits the floor while trying to stand. He probably would have passed out if not from the strong hands that hold him up from behind, wrapping around his middle. Levi leans back into the heavy warmth with ease, his eyes heavy-lidded as he tries to turn back to face the person.
“I think you might be crazier than me, shortie.”
Levi lets out a dry, weak laugh at that, but he doesn’t manage to hear Hanji’s reply before everything goes black for him.
The last thing he can think of is that he hopes he was strong enough to help Eren, even if it’s just by a little bit.