Two hours can be very long when you spend them at your dentist, but two hours is damn short, when one of the best missions we ever had is coming to an end.
While I’m packing my rucksack, I wonder where Jack has gone. It would have been lovely to spend these last two hours with him, but I won’t complain. No, I won’t. I made myself swear blind not to, because these have been the best five days of my life.
Although, the beginning wasn’t too promising.
Two weeks ago, when the MALP had sent us the first pictures and audio transmissions from P77 X33, I wasn’t too impressed, until the inhabitants told us more about their social structure. The ruling class on this planet is formed exclusively of same-gender couples – “gay planet” as some funny jokers in the SGC started to call it immediately. The reason is simple; centuries ago they struggled heavily with overpopulation, and they got this strange but interesting idea to reduce their birth rate.
The moment when General Hammond told us that we had to blend in with their tradition, or there wouldn’t be negotiations, and he proposed me and Jack and Janet and Sam as “undercover” couples, I could have danced around the briefing room. And for the first time in my life, I wasn’t really interested in all the following anthropological stuff Dr. Lee presented explaining the details of this interesting society, because my mind was spinning and somersaulting. All I could think about at that moment was: Jack and me as a couple for five long days.
It was only hours later when I had my first doubts. How to survive five days in close proximity to Jack, feigning to be a couple? Wouldn’t it kill me slowly from the inside? Wouldn’t it tear my heart apart to be shown every day what I can’t have? Just when I started brooding, I gave myself a literal slap on the head and told myself not to be an idiot.
Okay, it was only five days, but five days are better than nothing, isn’t it? I mean it’s the same with pets. You are always very sad when they die, but you wouldn’t have missed all the joy they gave you in all those years they were with you. Well, we are only speaking days here, but to stay with the animals, a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush.
So I arrived in high spirits on the planet. We were greeted cordially, spoiled with excellent food and shown to our quarters: only one bed. To my chagrin it was big enough to fit a whole SG-team in it. In this giant bed there wasn’t even the remote possibility of accidentally touching during the sleep. Anyway, I convinced myself that being fully awake when you’re touched is way better, and therefore I wasn’t too disappointed.
And our days have been fun so far. Jack frequently touches me. It’s what we usually have, back in the SGC but multiplied by four, five or even ten. There always seems to be a hand around my shoulder, at the small of my back, tangled in my hair. Nothing too overt – gestures he’s already made a lot of times, but now it’s constant. His hand seems somewhat glued to my body. Not that I’m complaining!
I have to admit, during some sleepless nights I secretly hoped that we would have to “prove” our commitment by some hot “on-the-table-sex” in front of everybody. Perhaps it’s good that my secret wishes didn’t come true this time because all those little, “natural” touches seem to be much more real than forced sex would have been. They give me lots and lots of dreaming material to exploit to the full when we’ll be back.
I already knew that Jack was a touchy guy, but this… is paradise for me. At first I was even hesitant to engage in a little touching of my own. I couldn’t predict his reactions; I was terrified to cross invisible borders. There had been a lot of joking in the SGC about this whole gay thing and I was afraid he wanted to draw a clear line to prevent rumours. I mean, I was sure that this mission was like a present from heaven for me, but I wasn’t too sure about Jack. Would embarrassment prevail?
But Jack was treating this situation with his usual aplomb. Right on the first day he took my arm and draped it around his waist while we were listening to the greetings, because it was what our hosts did. When I gave him a slightly puzzled look he mumbled something about Romans being in Rome.
I admit if my head hadn’t been so stuffed with absurd fantasies, I would have foreseen that the Colonel is a perfectionist when it comes to undercover missions. Special ops left its imprint. Therefore I couldn’t do anything else but try to live up to his high expectations because I never want to disappoint him. He can count on my enthusiasm to make it as real as possible.
Speaking about realism, Sam and Janet are also real pros in this department. To tell the truth, they are even better than we are. They carry on with their roles even after the official part is over and there is no public to impress.
How do I know? Well, when Jack and I came back to our quarters yesterday, Jack wanted to deliver a message one of the medical guys had given him for Janet. He knocked at their door and entered at the same time – and we found both of them in a tight lip lock, hands in places that only registered in my mind after a second and a third look.
We were all too embarrassed to say more than “emmm” and “ummm” – with the exception of Janet, who told the Colonel matter-of-factly, “We are practicing, sir. You have to do that to be really convincing. You never know what situations will arise.”
I was on the verge of telling Jack that a little bit of practising would also be a good idea for us, but I bit really hard on my tongue to prevent the words from slipping out. Instead I tried to figure out what Janet’s hand was doing in Sam’s trousers.
After Jack had delivered his message, we left the two of them. On the threshold, Jack turned around and said with a lopsided grin, “Continue, Majors. Always be prepared. Good thinking.” The last thing we heard was Sam gasping and Janet giggling.
We went back to our quarters, but no training session ensued. Perhaps I should have asked for one, but I didn’t want to spoil the mood.
These five days have been so wonderful, so fulfilling, so dreamlike – that I am having a difficult time to return to the present. But in two hours we are going back through the Stargate, back to our “normal” lives, back to being mere friends. I can’t prevent that I’m a little bit melancholic right now. Because it feels so good to lean into Jack while talking, to drink from the same cup - and pathetic little me made sure to always drink from the same place were his lips had been - to be together with him twenty-four hours a day.
I pack the last of the presents they gave us as Jack finally enters our room.
“Give me ten more minutes,” I answer and glance surreptitiously at my watch. Still two hours before our scheduled departure.
Jack is advancing on me with a very predatory grin and for one breathless moment I can only think, he’s going to kiss me! But then reality kicks in and I frantically try to search my brain for something I forgot, I said, I didn’t say, I should’ve …
His arms are circling my waist and he pulls me, absolutely unresistingly I have to add, into his embrace.
“I’ve still got two hours,” I splutter totally confused.
“We‘ve still got two hours,” he answers and takes my chin into his hand.
Get a grip, Daniel, get a grip!
“What for?” I manage to ask with quite a normal voice, while my brain is hastily calculating where Jack’s hand could go from there.
“Practicing?” Jack chuckles.
Oh, my God! I’m going to die here! The bastard had five days and now, with only two hours left, he wants to…!
But then my ever reasonable self whispers to me that he perhaps needed those five days to get accustomed to the thought, that he had to make up his mind, that he had find out about my opinion, that …
His long fingers are tracing the contours of my lips, then his index-finger strokes over my suddenly too dry lower lip and I have to moisture it. My tongue also touches his finger and he takes a deep breath. Jack is so damn near and suddenly I want to do so many things all at once! A kaleidoscope of absolutely fascinating and tempting pictures forms in my head.
I quiver under this single finger, under this nearly casual caress, and can’t think of anything else. Jack’s finger is playing with my tongue, merely entering my mouth and rubbing along my teeth. It’s only a small touch, but I feel my whole body tingling with excitement. A flush of warmth is spreading through my body, making me pant, making me sweat and making me hard. For one moment I close my eyes, overwhelmed and savouring. Until I remember…
…we have only two hours! Two lousy hours! Much too short! And I’ve got lots and lots of questions! I want to know so many things! First of all…
“Jack? Why do you…?”
Jack’s finger disappears and instead he’s leaning forward and closes my mouth with a kiss. Sloppy and all-consuming at the same time. Therefore the rest of my sentence is drowned in something like “suddemmmpppppfffff.”
I don’t like to admit it but to tell the truth I can’t remember what I was going to ask anyway. So my helpless groan seems to be a valid alternative.
Jack’s hand is caressing my cheek and he whispers against my partly opened mouth, “Later, Daniel. When we’re back home. But now, let’s take advantage of these two hours. We…”
Who I am to contradict him? It doesn’t matter how long two hours are; now, that I’m sure, that they are only the beginning, it seems to be just the right amount of time. I make sure Jack knows that I’m absolutely on the same page with him in this matter, and I close his mouth with a kiss of my own.
@Antares, July 2006