Work Header

Break Down The Walls

Chapter Text

Crammed in the library, Hermés and FF were dying over their finals. They had been studying for days, but the high stress of trying to remember everything they had learned over the semester was tiring, to say the least. Hermés was just about to scream and give up when suddenly she heard a familiar voice scream her name instead. 


She rolled her eyes and looked toward Jolyne, who was standing by the door. Many people angrily hushed her as she made her way towards Hermés and FF. Jolyne huffed and sat across from Hermés with a nervous smile.


“Okay, Hermés I need to ask for a big favor,” Jolyne stated, looking a little tense. 


“This can’t be good. Wait- aren’t you supposed to be studying for finals right now?” Hermés reminded her. They never studied together, because they would distract each other. Plus, Jolyne liked to study in her dorm rather than the library. 


“That doesn’t matter,” Jolyne brushed her comment off, looking even more tense now, “Okay, you know how you’ve been my best friend for like two years now?”


Hermés felt a sinking feeling in her stomach. Oh, this really isn’t going to be good . “Yeah?” 


“And you know how you’ve somehow never met my family?” Jolyne smiled nervously, not keeping eye contact. Every word Jolyne said it felt like it was striking Hermés further into a pit of doom. 


“And you know how I would never like to put you into an unfortunate situation-”


“Just tell me what you did already,” Hermés commanded, feeling impatient. After all these years, Hermés had seen and heard Jolyne do some stupid shit, but she was always extremely upfront about it. 


You’d imagine crashing your best friend’s car would be hard to admit, but Jolyne explained everything without hesitation. Whatever she did, it was bad. 


“Okay, okay. So I was talking to my cousin Josuke, right? Everything was going fine, but then one thing led to another and we started arguing. He brought up that I wasn’t actually over Romeo-which I am-but I got super defensive and might have said that I have a girlfriend,” Jolyne explained quickly, barely even taking one breath.

Hermés blinked slowly and replied, “But you don’t have a girlfriend.” 


“Exactly! But you haven’t even heard the worst part. I told Josuke that I was planning on bringing her along to our Christmas family reunion! But I don’t have a girlfriend, and I can’t tell them that I don’t because they’ll think that I’m still not over Romeo, so can you please pretend to be my girlfriend.” Jolyne explained everything so fast that Hermés could barely even understand her. Jolyne desperately looked at her, thoroughly freaked out and apologetic. 


“Slow down. So you want pretend to be your you uphold your dignity?” Hermés said slowly, in an attempt to comprehend the utter word vomit Jolyne had thrown in her face. 


“When you put it that way, you make me sound bad.” Jolyne pouted. 


Hermés sighed and glanced over at FF, who’d been staying uncharacteristically quiet this entire time. They looked up from their paper, glanced at Jolyne, shrugged and continued working. 


Hermés sighed again and said, “Jolyne, how do you always get in these shitty situations?” 


“I don’t know,” Jolyne whined, drawing out the ‘know’.


“Do you even realize how dangerous this is? So, if I hypothetically became your girlfriend...” Hermés put the word girlfriend in air quotes, “...What if, later, you want to introduce me to them as your best friend?”


“Oh, that’s fine. Like two months afterwards, I’d say that we decided that being friends was better for us and there are no hard feelings.” 


“This is fucking crazy.”


“I know, but it’s the only option I have.” 


“What about your roommate? Gwess?” Hermés offered, trying to get out of this situation in any way possible. 


“She’s crazy and you know that.” 


“FF? Can you do this?” Hermés almost pleaded. 


“Hm? Oh, no I have plans.” FF answered, looking up from their paper.


“What plans?” Jolyne asked, surprised. FF basically didn’t have a social life outside of Jolyne and Hermés. 


“Plans,” FF put it simply, dodging the question. Then they continued to study. 


Jolyne looked back at Hermés, exasperated. “See? FF has plans, and I have no other close enough friends to do this.” 


“And I really don’t wanna do this, Jolyne. What if your family finds out we’re lying? They’ll hate me!” Hermés crossed her arms. Your best friend’s family hating you is definitely not ideal, especially when the said friend’s family is so close. 


“You don’t know my family though. They’re all really forgiving, well, except maybe Johnny, but he probably won’t care about this anyways,” argued Jolyne. 


Hermés closed her eyes and rubbed her forehead. She needed a coffee-no and an entire year’s worth of coffee. Finals were already stressing the hell out of Hermés and she definitely didn’t need to worry about this . Hermés opened her eyes to see Jolyne’s signature puppy-dog eyes, that Hermés always found too cute to say no to. Hermés groaned.


“God Jolyne, one day you’re going to convince me to jump off a cliff with that face,” Hermés grumbled. 


Jolyne laughed, “I wouldn’t do that to you. Besides, I like you too much to make you jump off a building.” 


Hermés blushed a little. 


“Anyways, I’ll be your pretend girlfriend over break, ONLY if you’ll buy me coffee for the entirety of next year,” Hermés smirked. Jolyne wouldn’t be stupid enough to buy an extra person coffee for an entire year, would she?




Nevermind, she was. 


Hermés said, with a headache already forming, “Okay, now leave and go study before I change my mind.” 


Jolyne smiled triumphantly, said her goodbyes, and left the library. Hermés shook her head with a small smile and continued to study.


Well, not until FF said, “Ah, young love.” 


Hermés threw her pencil at them. 




Time felt like it was leaking away, like water cupped in a hand. Hermés anxiously studied for finals every day, but sometimes it just felt like not enough, like she needed more time to cram all the information she learned throughout the semester back into her brain. 


She needed more time to process the information, to truly learn it, but she simply didn’t have the time to do so. Time always feels like it’s going too quickly for Hermés, as if she were cursed for doing something in a past life. She could have sworn she once saw the sun setting and rising in mere seconds at one point, but she determined it was a dream. 


Then, there wasn’t enough time to mentally prepare herself for Jolyne’s family get-together. Every second that passed felt like it was leading her to her impending doom. She had no idea what to expect. Hermés nervously thought of every possible scenario of what could happen. Only a few seemed to end well. The odds were not in her favor. 


But eventually, the days ticked by, finals were completed, and winter break had started. 


Early one morning Jolyne arrived at Hermés’s dorm, and together they crammed all of three bags into Jolyne’s old Chevy. They started driving when it hit her - Hermés had practically no idea where they were going. She didn’t worry about it too much though; she trusted Jolyne to drive to her family home without getting lost. But then Jolyne pulled into her dorm parking lot. 


“I thought we were leaving?” Hermés asked, raising an eyebrow.


“Yeah, I said I would meet the Uber here,” Jolyne answered looking down at her phone. 


“Uber? I thought we were driving?”


Jolyne snorted and said, “We can’t go to the airport in my car, dummy.” 


“Airport? The fuck?! We’re taking a plane?!” Hermés exclaimed, jaw dropping.


“You didn’t know!?” Jolyne screamed, eyes widening. 


“No!!!” Hermés yelled back, equally as surprised. 


Jolyne stared at Hermés for a moment, before composing herself and saying, “Well, good thing I already bought you your ticket. You’re not afraid of planes, are you?” 


“Well, no, but-”


“Then there’s no problem!” Jolyne’s phone buzzed. “Well, that’s the Uber.” 


Hermés rolled her eyes and got out of the car. 


The ride to the airport was generally uneventful. Hermés wondered where they were going that warranted a plane ride , but surely it wasn’t outside America. Jolyne wouldn’t be stupid enough to forget to remind Hermés to bring a passport. For the entire half-hour ride, Hermés nervously scrolled through her phone while Jolyne, being friendly as always, chatted with the Uber driver. 


Once they got to the airport, Jolyne led Hermés through the building, and eventually, to the correct line. 


“So, where are we going exactly?” Hermés asked over the loud chatter in the room. 


“England,” Jolyne replied simply.


“England?! I didn’t bring a passport, Jolyne!” 


“Oh. Oooh, sorry, I meant New England. Connecticut,” Jolyne corrected sheepishly. Jolyne yawned and rubbed her eyes. “Sorry, I’m just really tired. You don’t need to worry about anything, I already planned it all out.” She did look tired. Her normal hair style was absent, leaving the green dyed parts awkwardly sitting in her hair. Seeing Jolyne without her large space buns was definitely out of the ordinary. 


Hermés knew that Jolyne wasn’t lying so she just rolled her eyes and said, “Fine, I’ll trust you.” 


Various security checks later they finally boarded the plane. Jolyne almost fell into the seat out of exhaustion. Hermés laughed and sat down next to her. 


While people were funneling into the plane, Hermés nervously smiled. “Y’know, I’ve never been on a plane before.” 


“What? And you’re telling me this now?” Jolyne gasped, dropping her jaw, and widening her eyes in surprise. 


Hermés chuckled and explained, “Well, yeah, of course I’ve never been on a plane before. I grew up in the slums. There’s no fuckin’ way I had enough money for a plane ticket, much less a vacation.” 


“Damn, sometimes I forget that,” Jolyne pouted, and after a short pause she said, “Switch spots with me. I’d think you’ll like the view.” Jolyne got up and after awkwardly shuffling around each other, Hermés sat down and looked out the window. 


“Wow, it’s the plane workers and the airport. Very exciting,” Hermés deadpanned. 


Jolyne just rolled her eyes and hit Hermés’s arm. “I meant when we took off, smartass.” 


Hermés snickered. After a short silence, Hermés asked, “So, what’s your family like?” 


Jolyne’s eyes lit up, “Oh yes! So, uh, where do I start. Um, so first of all, I’m only really close with my Mom’s side of the family-but it’s a huge family. My Mom has three brothers and one sister, and they all have at least two kids, so it’s always hectic when we’re all together. Oh! I have no idea how-but I only have guy cousins. So that makes it even more crazy. Like-imagine five buff, chaotic teenagers together in one room without adult supervision.” 


Jolyne kept on talking about her cousins, but Hermés eventually tuned it out. She almost regretted asking Jolyne about her family. It made Hermés think of her own family. She never had very close bonds with any of her family members, only Gloria...


“Hermés, are you listening?” Jolyne interrupted her thoughts. 


“Fuck...Yeah. Um, sorry I’m a little tired.” Hermés technically did tell the truth. After the surprise airport visit, Hermés felt like she needed a ten hour nap, or at least a Monster. 


Jolyne nodded and sighed, “Yeah, me too. Once we take off I’m probably going to sleep the whole time.” 


Just then, the flight attendants started to go down the list of safety procedures, and soon enough, the plane took off. Once everyone got situated and the plane didn’t blow up from taking off, Jolyne yawned and went to sleep. 


Hermés smiled to herself. She thought it was totally creepy, but Hermés loved watching Jolyne sleep. Jolyne, who was chaos incarnate, simply looked so peaceful and happy asleep. Her face just seemed to melt and all her worries just faded away. Hermés could never stop the almost instantaneous thoughts of just thinking how cute Jolyne looked asleep. Well, to be honest with herself, Hermés thought Jolyne was adorable all the time, but she just blocked those thoughts out. Hermés always put up these mental walls to either protect herself or protect Jolyne, Hermés didn’t know herself. But when Jolyne was asleep, and  when Hermés didn’t need to worry about acting strange, so cracks formed in these walls. The unconscious bombardment of these horribly sappy thoughts just pummeled her into a never-ending pit of doom. 


Hermés felt her heart squeeze in a familiar way, that she didn’t quite understand, as she forced herself to look out the window. Hermés furrowed her brows, as she sat and thought about what could come next. Hermés felt something towards Jolyne that she could never comprehend. She had always labeled it as what you feel when you have a close friend, but she was close friends with FF and she didn’t feel these things towards them. Hermés almost got mad at herself for never being able to label this emotion. Hermés always liked to feel in control; she hated it when she couldn’t do something or when she didn’t know what to do. She’d always made up her mind quickly and efficiently. So why couldn’t she make up her mind about Jolyne


Hermés started to second guess her choice to agree to this trip. Maybe it would just make her more confused. Maybe it would make Hermés more irritable. Jolyne wasn’t always right too, she probably didn’t have everything under control, and her family is probably going to react differently about the situation than she thought. 


Hermés sighed. Jolyne was right about one thing though, the view was pretty great. 




The next thing Hermés knew, she was being shaken awake by Jolyne. Hermés must have fallen asleep while she was looking out the window. While stretching and blinking the sleep away, Hermés asked what was going on. 


“We’re going to land soon,” Jolyne put simply. 


Hermés yawned and nodded in response. 


In about twenty minutes the plane finally landed and they were allowed off. Jolyne grabbed Hermés’ wrist and led her through the swarms of people to the bag recollection area. 


While they were waiting for their bags Hermés commented, “You seem to know airports pretty well.”


“Hm? Oh yeah, obviously, I’ve been going on planes twice a year since I was like six,” replied Jolyne nonchalantly.


“Dude. How loaded is your family?” Hermés deadpanned. 


“I thought I told you this? My-Oh! There are our bags,” Jolyne smiled, completely dodging the question. Hermés wondered why Jolyne never told her about her family, other than a few things, like how both her brother and her dad seemingly abandoned her when she was little. Other than that, she never really talked much about them, yet since Hermés knew Jolyne, always seemed super close to them. 


After successfully getting their bag, Jolyne and Hermés found an empty bench. For a second they just sat there and just sat there, they were utterly exhausted. Then Jolyne’s stomach growled. They were apparently also hungry. 


Hermés laughed, “You wanna get some McDonald’s?” she asked while pointing to the fast food chain. 


“Oh god yes. I could eat their entire stock if I wanted to right now,” Jolyne groaned. Then the familiar ring of Jolyne’s ringtone, the main chorus to the song Stone Free, interrupted their conversation. “Ah, that’s probably Joseph. How about you go get the food then bring it back here.” 


Hermés could only guess Joseph was one of Jolyne’s family members, so she nodded and got into the McDonalds line. After ordering and waiting an insufferable amount of time, Hermés made it back to the bench where she left Jolyne. 


Jolyne was seemlying done talking on the phone and was now playing some dumb game on it. When Jolyne saw Hermés her eyes lit up and almost tackled Hermés. She shoved a few fries in her mouth and groaned.


“I think this is the best thing I’ve ever tasted.” 


Hermés chuckled, “Jolyne, it’s only McDonalds.” 


“The best goddamn McDonalds I’ve ever tasted,” Jolyne replied while Hermés sat down on the bench. Hermés rolled her eyes and with a small smile they started to eat. 


Jolyne was right though, because of Hermés’ famine it felt like one of the best meals she’d ever had, even though it was just cheap, overly-greasy fast-food. In what seemed like mere seconds Jolyne finished her food and sighed. 


“How the fuck do you eat that fast?” Hermés asked, raising an eyebrow at Jolyne.


“Must be the Joestar blood.” 


“Speaking of are we going to leave this airport?” Hermés asked. 


“My cousin Joseph is going to pick us up. In fact, he could be here any moment no-” 


“JOLYNE!!” A large brown haired man screamed from across the waiting area. He was wearing the tightest green crop top and skinny jeans Hermés has ever seen a man where.


Jolyne gasped and screamed “JOSEPH!!” in reply. 


Speak about perfect timing. 


Jolyne and Joseph started to sprint to each other. Once they got close enough Jolyne literally leaped into Joseph’s arms-well, arm. Joseph caught Jolyne, a full grown adult, with one arm. How strong was this man?


Joseph must have seen the surprise in Hermés’ eyes, so he smugly looked at her and said, “Yeah, I work out.” He then continued to flex his other arm. 


“Joseph, are you flirting with my girlfriend?” Jolyne put flatly, still hanging on to Joseph’s arm. 


Hermés then felt like she was going to flat out die. Jolyne calling Hermés her girlfriend made everything so real. Sure, Hermés attempted to prepare herself, but in reality, she was not ready. Hermés felt her face heat up.


Joseph dropped Jolyne in surprise, “Oh shit!” he yelped. Then he noticed Jolyne apologized and helped her up. Joseph turned back to Hermés and put on a serious face, “So, you’re Jolyne’s girlfriend, huh?” 


Hermés blushed even harder, “So what if I am? You  gotta problem with that?” Hermés crossed her arms, trying to look cool about it. (She was not cool about it)


Joseph threw up his hands, “Whoa, no need to get defensive over it.” 


Jolyne materialized beside Hermés, and with a little nervous chuckle she lied, “Sorry, Hermés is just very…protective, because we’re both girls and shit.” 


“OOOOHHH. You don’t need to worry about that, half of our family is gay. Besides, protecting lesbians is like my part-time job,”  Joseph smiled.


Hermés, having no idea how to respond to that, just awkwardly replied, “Uh, thanks.” 


Jolyne, saving all of them from an awkward silence, recommended that they should leave. While Joseph and Jolyne scrambled to go get the bags, Hermés stayed back to roll her eyes, shake her head, and ask herself what she had gotten herself into. 


Once they had successfully gotten out of the airport and to the vast parking lot of the airport, they found Joseph’s fire-red pickup truck, threw their bags in, and hit the road. Both Jolyne and Hermés sat in the back while Joseph drove upfront while badly singing Lady Gaga songs. 


Trying her best to ignore Joseph, Hermés asked, “So how far away is your house?”


“Technically it’s my uncle’s house, but my family has been living in it for generations and I don’t actually live in it year long, but I do visit very often to the point where it’s my second home, but yeah...uh...oh yeah, we’re like maybe 20 minutes away,” Jolyne rambled, ending with an apologetic smile. 


Joseph stopped belting Born This Way for a moment to answer, “It’s like a 25 minute drive to Dad’s house.” Then he continued singing the god forsaken song. It was so off pitched, Hermés wanted to yell at him to shut up so bad. Except, she didn’t because she wanted to make a good first impression. 


“So uh, are all your cousins like this?” Hermés nervously asked. There’s no way Hermés would be able to survive in a house of 5 different Josephs, all badly singing pop songs. 


“Oh god no. I think I would get a headache within-like-the first twenty minutes,” Jolyne whispered to Hermés so Joseph wouldn’t hear. Hermés chuckled as Jolyne continued, “The closest person that acts like him is Josuke, but he’s way more tolerable. Like I love Joseph, but sometimes he’s just a little too…” Jolyne glanced at Joseph now screaming the lyrics to Bad Romance, “energetic”. 


Hermés snickered, “Oh yeah, I can see-or should I say hear-that,” then back to talking at a normal level Hermés asked, “So what are your other cousins like?” 


“Oh yes! So I have si-I mean five of them, and they’re all nice? Chaotic? I dunno, probably a weird mix of the two. Giorno is the youngest, he’s Joseph’s adoptive? Wait-Joseph is Giorno considered adoptive?” 


“Legally? No. He’s still under Uncle Dio’s legal guardianship, but he’s been living with us for so long he basically is.” Joseph explained, sighing. He’s probably explained this hundreds of times before. 


“So yeah, he’s Joseph’s brother, he’s 15. I’m sure you don’t need to worry about him too much. He’s like a messiah or something, he can tell what kind of person you are just by a glance. Just whatever you do, don’t get on his bad side, I swear that kid is ruthless when he wants to be,” Jolyne explained.


“Is that supposed to reassure me?” Hermés, in fact, did not feel reassured in the slightest. If anything, that made Hermés even more nervous. If Giorno could read people so easily, then would he be able to see past Jolyne and Hermés act? Sure, he was 15, but the way Jolyne was describing him made Hermés nervous.


Jolyne closed her eyes and shook her head with a small nervous smile, “Nah, you should be fine. He’s only attempted to murder mafia members.” 


“Excuse me but wh-”


“HOLY SHIT IT’S BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY!” Joseph interrupted Hermés from asking anymore questions. Joseph turned the volume even louder. Hermés could barely even hear herself think.  Then Joseph started scream-singing “IS THIS THE REAL LIFE!?!” 


Then Jolyne smirked at Hermés and pitched in, “OR IS THIS JUST FANTASY?!!” 


With that, continued a loud, dramatic Joestar cover of the popular Queen song. About half way through the song, Jolyne elbowed Hermés, so hard that it almost hurt, so Hermés would also sing along. She just rolled her eyes. Jolyne kept persisting so Hermés begrudgingly agreed.


“BEELZEBUB HAS A DEVIL PUT ASIDE FOR ME!” Hermés clamorously sang while Jolyne and Joseph cheered in triumph. 


After the song was over, Hermés had a headache forming, and was 90% sure that she lost her voice, but hell-she had fun. Joseph turned the radio down, as he and Jolyne sighed. 


“Sorry for springing that upon you so quickly. It’s kind of a tradition between Joseph and I to scream that song whenever we hear it.” Jolyne croaked, with a small smile. 


Joseph laughed, “Yeah, remember when we were at the grocery store that one time? It looked like Johnny wanted to kill us.” 


“Wait, you guys are telling me you’ve done this in public?!” Hermés exclaimed, widening her eyes.  


“Oh yeah, plenty of times,” Jolyne answered with a smug smile. Hermés muttered something along the lines of “of course you have” and looked out the window. There, she just saw open land, with no other cars on the road. 


“Uh, where are we going?” Hermés asked, turning back to Jolyne. 


“Like I said, home.” 


“Do you live on a farm of somethin’?” Hermés asked, looking back out the window. 


“Well, no, but we have a greenhouse-”




“There it is!” Joseph announced as the car got over a hill. 


Hermés could have fallen out of her chair. Hermés found herself looking at the biggest mansion she had ever seen in real life. The wood looked polished and refined, the large windows almost gave it a royal look, and the overall feel excluded victorian poshness.  The house itself looked at least two stories high and would have 50 rooms on each floor. Hermés looked at Jolyne. Jolyne was living in that her entire life? 


“This is your house?” Hermés said completely monotone, trying not to lose her cool. 


“Like I said, it’s technically a family house. Joseph, Giorno, Uncle Jonathan, and Aunt Erina are the only ones that live in it year around,” explained, with a nervous smile. 


“Okay, but still, you could fit my family apartment in this a hundred times over.”  


Jolyne made a small awkward laugh, then asked, “Soooo Joseph is everybody already here yet?” 


“Everyone except for Aunt Tomoko and the Josukes. Reykiel, Donatello, Ungalo, and Uncle Dio said they’re not coming this year,” Joseph explained, pulling into the massive driveway, filled with probably expensive cars. Hermés heard Jolyne say something like “oh thank god” under her breath as she waited for the car to stop. 


When Hermés stepped out of the car, she felt a sudden wave of chills hit her, “Holy shit” she said, “Why is it so fucking cold!” 


Jolyne chuckled, “Hermés it’s winter and we’re in Connecticut. It tends to be colder than Florida.” 


“Well no shit, sherlock,” Hermés mumbled under her breath, while rubbing her arms. That just made Jolyne laugh more. 


They grabbed their bags (meaning that Joseph grabbed four while Hermés and Jolyne only grabbed one) and headed inside. The gigantic wooden doors, that probably wasn’t very practical, opened to reveal a large room with a huge staircase, extravagant red carpet over checkered floors, and a statue of an angel. 


Hermés didn’t know how to react. Sure, she expected a larger house if it was going to hold the entire family, but a mansion was the last thing Hermés was expecting. She definitely didn’t expect Jolyne didn’t come from a rich family. She had a crappy car, worked part-time at a 7-Eleven, and didn’t buy much. She was the normal poor college student, the exact opposite of a spoiled rich girl. Out of the corner of her eye, Hermés saw a butler approach. A butler! 


“Roses!” Jolyne exclaimed, dropping her bags and extending her arms. The butler smiled and hugged Jolyne. “How have you been!?” Jolyne asked 


“Aw, nothing much, just my normal activities,” the old man croaked, “How has University been?” 


“It’s a little stressful, but I’m doing fine,” Jolyne sighed. She seemed a little tired, but she still had her upbeat attitude. 


Roses chuckled, “That sounds like you. I’m glad you’re doing fine, Jolyne,” he glanced at their bags, “Do you want me to bring those up to your room?” 


“Thanks, but no, I need to show Hermés where the room is anyways,” Jolyne motioned to Hermés. 


Roses eyes seemed to light up, “You’re Jolyne’s girlfriend! If I’m not mistaken.” Roses extended his hand. Hermés shook it and with a nervous smile. 


“Y-yeah I’m her girlfriend,” Hermés lied. Something stirred in her stomach. Lying to this old cheery man didn’t feel right to her. Lying about this subject didn’t feel right to her. Oh god, how was she supposed to do this for an entire week?! 


“I’m Roses, the Joestar’s butler,” the man introduced. 


“Uh, hi, I’m Hermés,” she awkwardly said back. Jolyne, always seeming to save Hermés from awkward silences, called for Hermés to grab her bags so they could go to their room. 


Hermés excused herself, grabbed the rest of her bags, and followed Jolyne up the magnificent staircase. While they were walking, Hermés noticed many pictures of what she could only assume of the Joestar family. There were full family pictures, old wedding pictures, and Hermés even saw a picture of Jolyne’s highschool graduation. She tried to rip her eyes off the wall for now though, she needed to figure out where everything is in this estate. 


Jolyne stopped once they reached a door with a blue butterfly painted on it. Hermés looked around and saw other things painted on doors; a ladybug, a baby blue star, some kind of golden hand symbol, an anchor, a peace sign, and-were those clackers?


Jolyne entered the room, while Hermés followed in suit. Hermés smiled a bit as she realized it was perfectly Jolyne. Her walls were painted green, about the same shade as her hair, her curtains had butterflies on it, she had fairy lights draped on everything, there was a hole in the wall, and next to it was a poster of Jimi Hendrix, probably covering up more holes. She also had a large canopy bed with the blankets being that weird spider web design she loves. 


Hermés was completely astounded, this looked so much better than her entire apartment she grew up in! “So you’re telling me, you have a room this nice and you don’t even live here all the time?!” 


Jolyne did the same nervous, almost apologetic, laugh again, “Well, not during the school year, but I live here in the summer and I obviously come back for Christmas every year.”


“For the summer...since I’ve known you, you’ve always stayed in Florida over the summer,” Hermés stated, but asking more of a question.


Jolyne layed on her bed, sighed, and replied, “That was during college though. It was just easier to stay there and only come back for-like-a week for the 4th of July. Plus, I had a job and I didn’t know if they’d let me back or not.” 


“Speaking of that, why are you working a job when your family is like this ?” Hermés finally asked. 


“I like to stay independent. Like sure, they paid for plane tickets, but that’s really all. I can’t depend on them forever, y’know? 


Hermés couldn’t quite understand that. For most of Hermés' life, money has been means over life or death, whether she’d eat today or not. Hermés often wished she could live more comfortably and not fearing for her life every time she stepped outside her own home. Why would Jolyne give that all up? 


There was a sudden knock on the door and someone yelled through the door, “Jolyne! You, me, Coco Jumbo, in 5 minutes!” Hermés didn’t recognize the voice. Jolyne certainly did though. She jumped up saying “oh shit” under her breath as she rummaged through her bags. 


“Who was that and what is Coco Jumbo?” Hermés bewilderedly asked. 


“That was my cousin, Josuke, and Coco Jumbo is a room we nicknamed after Giorno’s pet turtle, who Polnarreff accidentally stole,” Jolyned explained while putting on some some fingerless leather gloves. 


“Who is Polnareff and how do you accidentally steal a fucking pet turtle?” Hermés asked, even more confused.  


“I’ll explain later, right now it’s go time,” Jolyne passed Hermés with a wicked smile and ran out the door. 


Hermés rolled her eyes, smiling and followed Jolyne. 


Jolyne led them to a room that seemed to be in the center of the house. There weren’t any windows, but there was a sky light, with red stained glass, giving the room a reddish hue. The room seemed fairly small compared to everything else in the house, but it seemed cozy. Strangely though, all the furniture of the room was pushed to the walls, leaving open space in the middle of the room. In the room itself was Joseph, some blonde dude with three large buns (?) sitting above his forehead, a guy in a wheelchair, a guy wearing a sailor uniform, and a large brooding man who looked scary, even to Hermés. 


Hermés confusedly looked at Jolyne, while Jolyne just smirked and said, “You’ll find out what I’m doing soon enough. Just go sit down.” Hermés gave Jolyne an almost concerned look and made her way to the couch. Since she knew almost no one there, she just sat next to Joseph, who was excitedly waiting. Now that Hermés thinks about it, everyone seemed excited. Joseph had his elbows on his knees, and with wide eyes looked at Jolyne then the door. The bun-haired blonde dude had his hands folded in his lap with a small smile tugging on his lips. The guy in the wheelchair at first seemed uninterestedly scrolling through his phone, but he was glancing up every 5 seconds. The sailor was-doing something-Hermés couldn’t nor wanted to describe it. Finally, the large man had his arms crossed and was almost pouting at Jolyne.


Hermés whispered to Joseph as Jolyne was stretching, “So, uh, what’s going on here?”


Joseph turned and gave Hermés a wicked smile, “You’ll see.” 


Was every Joestar this cryptid? 


Hermés anxiously waited for a good minute before someone burst into the room and tackled Jolyne. Hermés hurriedly stood up, before Joseph grabbed her shoulder and pushed it down, telling her to sit. Then Hermés started to hear cheers from the people around her. The one in the sailors uniform was cheering for Jolyne, while everyone else, besides that large brooding man, was going outright ballistic. They were cheering for what seemed to be no one at all. Hermés looked back at the two people in the middle of the room. 


The guy Jolyne was wrestling had a strange hair style-to say the least. It seemed to be a pompadour, although it was a little messed up from the wrestling match. Jolyne was under the guy, having him in a choke hold while he wiggled, and broke out of her grasp. He quickly rolled away and when he was trying to get back up, Jolyne pounced on top of him, slamming him to the floor. She turned to his back and grabbed his arm and put in a painful hold behind him in one quick move. She kept his legs down with one leg, as the other’s knee painfully dug into the back of his neck. 


Over the loud cheering, Hermés heard Jolyne scream, “You done now buddy boy?!” 


The man under her groaned and slapped the floor twice to tap out. The room erupted with screams while Jolyne got off the other person. Then Jolyne smiled and raised her hands above her head and let out a war cry. That just made everyone scream even louder. Once everyone quieted down the defeated guy got up while holding his neck. 


“Damn Jolyne, where the fuck did you learn that move,” he said, while obviously in pain. 


Jolyne devilishly smiled, “I’ve been doing my research.”


Then the guy in the sailors uniform stood up and announced, “Alright! Johnny!  Joseph! Pay up!” the guy smiled, exposing his two front teeth, with a very large noticeable gap. Joseph and the guy in the wheelchair groaned and fished out ten dollars.


“You guys are still betting over this? I win every year!” Jolyne put her hands on her hips. 


“Well, Jolyne, that hair for brains cousin we have seemed to be very confident this year, did ya?” the wheelchair man said, he seemed to have a slight southern accent. 

The pompadour man covered his face and exclaimed, “I really thought I was going to win this year!” Jolyne laughed at that, and he frowned at her. 


Then the pompadour dude scanned the room and then locked eyes with Hermés. His eyes widened and screamed, “Holy shit! Jolyne is that your girlfriend!?” 


Everyone in the room suddenly looked at Hermés. She suddenly felt very self conscious. 


“Yep! That’s my girlfriend!” Jolyne lied. Hermés felt impressed on how easily Jolyne’s lying about this. Everyone’s eyes widened as the pompadour guy, the sailors uniform man, and Joseph started to ask questions all over each other. 


“Shut the fuck up!” the brooding man yelled, “Damn, you guys are all so annoying.” 


Everyone quieted down after that and Hermés felt awkward. Should she introduce herself? Should she just wait for the questions to start up again? She glanced around at the people in the room and they were all looking at her expectantly. 


Well, it’s now or never.


Hermés cleared her throat and started, “Uh, hey. I’m Hermés Costello, Jolyne’s girlfriend.” They didn’t seem to be satisfied with that. Hermés nervously smiled, not knowing what else to say.


Jolyne sauntered over, sat next to Hermés, and said “Go on, ask some questions. I know you’re wondering about them, because you guys are so nosey .” 


Everyone seemed to ignore that comment and Hermés first heard, “How long have you guys been dating?”


Hermés said “a year” at the same time Jolyne said “six months”. They looked at each other wide-eyed. 


“What we mean is we met a year ago and only started dating six months ago,” Jolyne quickly lied, with a fake laugh. Hermés was getting more and more concerned about how easily she lies. Hermés looked at everyone in the room cautiously. Most of them seemed to have some sort of surprise, with the blonde one and the scary one staring Hermés down. Hermés felt her heart race a little faster. 


“You've been dating for six months and never told us?!” exclaimed the guy in the wheelchair with the southern accent. 


“Yes! You’re freaking out about this now! Imagine if I told you that I’m in a relationship when we first started dating, you guys would disapprove before you’ve even met her,” Jolyne exclaimed back. Hermés' eyes widened by how believable Jolyne was making this sound. 


“Damn, you right,” Pompadour guy mumbled. 


Hermés coughed then said, “So...what’s your guys’ name?” 


Jolyne facepalmed, “Ah! I can’t believe I haven’t introduced you guys yet!” 


“Nice going, Jolyne.” 


“Shut the fuck up Josuke,” Jolyne shot back quickly, then she glanced at Hermés, sighed and pointed at the pompadour and sailors uniform. “Okay, so these are my cousins; the twin Josukes. Before you ask, they legally have the same name. Something happened with the birth certificates and they were legally the same person for a while. Aunt Tomoko found out months later after they were born and just never legally changed the names. ” 


“Since I was born first, I’m the actual Josuke,” the pompadour guy said, with a smug smile. 


“My name was supposed to be Josefumi, but my nickname is Gappy, because of my teeth.” the sailor guy opened his mouth to show a large gap in between his two front teeth. 


Jolyne pointed to the guy in the wheelchair, “This is Johnny, he’s an ass, but you’ll warm up to him.” 


“Fuck you.” 


Jolyne barely even glanced at him, then she turned to the blonde guy. 


“Ah and this is Giorno. The crown jewel of this fucked up family!” Jolyne smiled, and gave him a hug. 

Hermés tried to think back to the conversation in the car. So he’s Joseph kinda adoptive brother, he’s 15 (which he definitely looked at least 3 years older), and Jolyne mentioned something about attempted murder. 


“Jolyne, you really expect too much out of me,” Giorno smiled softly.


“See? Look, he's so polite! You’re really like you Dad aren't y-oh, I mean Uncle Jonathan-not Dio,” Jolyne looked embarrassed. 


Giorno laughed, “I would have assumed that.” 


Jolyne smiled softly at him, then she turned to Joseph, “You already met Hermés at the airport,” Then Jolyne turned around to the large brooding man, “And this is my dear older brother Jotaro,” 


Hermés' mind went blank for a second. Jotaro looked like he could be Jolyne’s dad. He was large, brooding and overall terrifying. Not to mention, Jolyne has complained about him before. She used to talk about how he almost abandoned her when she was little, while her mother was sick and never seemed to care about her.


Hermés didn’t know how to completely react. Was she supposed to be cold? Angry? Intimidating? Hermés could decide in time, so she just offered an indifferent head nod. 


“I have f-three more cousins; Reykiel, Donatello, and Ungalo, but I don’t think they’re coming this year.” 


Josuke laughed and said, “Remember when Ungalo brought- like -an entire bag of weed?”  


Almost everyone groaned in unison and Johnny said, “We do NOT speak of that.” 


“He got so high,” Gappy reminisced. 


“It took like an entire week just to get the smell out of the cushions!” Joseph complained. 


Giorno frowned, “It was...less than ideal.” 


“I think that was the most pissed I’ve ever seen Aunt Holly,” Johnny sighed, shaking his head.


“Speaking of Mom, is she here?” Jolyne asked. 


“Yeah-wait-are you sayin that you wrestled me before you said hi to your own mother?” Josuke asked. 


“’re right. Well, I don’t think she’ll mind much. I’m sure she’s excited to see Hermés did tell her, right?” Jolyne ended in a questioning tone. 


“You didn’t tell her!” Josuke exclaimed, waving his arms in the air. 


“I thought you already told her! You told everyone else!” 


“Jolyne! That your mother! There’s a difference! Besides I thought you would have told her yourself because she’s like fucking Mother Teresa or some shit.” 


“Ugh, why do you have to be smart sometimes!” Jolyne crossed her arms and pouted, “Well I guess I have to tell her, and I don’t want to surprise her guy by you being there. Okay, so Hermés you can stay up here and get to know my cousins and I’ll talk to my mom.” 


Hermés anxiety started to internally go haywire, “Uh yeah su-” 


“Okay! I’ll be back soon,” Jolyne ran for the door then paused and said, “Love you!” 


Hermés didn’t know that her heart could be beating any faster, but after Jolyne said those two words, it felt like she could have a heart attack. Hermés had been attempting to mentally prepare for this, but even those two simple words were making her blush like a teenage girl. Why was she freaking out from this? 


Someone coughed to throw Hermés out of her thoughts. 


“So, Hermés, how serious are you about Jolyne?” Joseph asked, narrowing his eyes. 


“Very. Very serious. Serious for Jolyne, that is,” Hermés had no idea what she was talking about at this point. 


“Really then?” Gappy probed, “Then what’s her favorite food?”


“Her mother’s cooking.” 


“Favorite color?” Johnny asked.


“Light green.”


“Favorite animal?” Giorno chimed in. 


“It’s technically an insect, but butterflies.”


“Alright!” Jotaro announced with an alarmly deep voice, “Enough with this trivia bullshit,” Jotaro walked close to Hermés and close threatenly close to her face, “What exactly are you planning on doing with my younger sister?” 


Hermés' heart jumped up to her throat, because goddamn was Jotaro scary. His large angled eyebrows mixed with his other sharp features, all doubled up on eachother and made him immensely intimidating. She could definitely see the resemblance in Jolyne though, but something about her made it not alarming. Maybe it was because she’d known Jolyne so long? 


Giorno materialized beside Jotaro and put a hand on his shoulder. He somehow made Jotaro step away from Hermés. Jotaro never lost eye contact, he just kept burning holes into Hermés soul. 


Giorno, with a soft smile started, “Look, Hermés, I’m sure you’re a great person, but we simply cannot immediately trust you, after what happened with Romeo. Unlike him, you’re going to have to gain our trust.” 


“Yeah dude, you’re gonna have to earn our blessing,” Josuke added, everyone else nodded at that. 


Hermés was stunned, she was not expecting this. Jolyne never described her family being protective, she mostly just described them as being pretty chill over things like this. Romeo must have messed up Jolyne worse than Hermés thought, if they’re acting this way. 


Hermés swallowed thickly, “Uh, yes, I promise you; by the time we leave you all will be able to trust me.” 


Johnny sighed, “You fuckin’ better, we really don’t need another Romeo incindent.”


Joseph groaned loudly, “Okay! Let’s not talk about this! Hermés, do you have any questions about the house or our family?”


Hermés smirked, “Well Jolyne said this room was named after a stolen pet turt-”


“HAHA YES,” Joseph interrupted. 


“Good grief, here he goes again,” Jotaro mumbled. 


Joseph then jumped into a story about his friend accidentally stole Giorno’s pet turtle. Apparently, a french foregin exchange student, named Polnareff, came over one day, and Giorno brought Coco Jumbo, the turtle, in the room. When Polnareff went back home he checked his bag, and there he saw Coco Jumbo. Meanwhile at the Joestar estate Girono was freaking out because he couldn’t find his pet. Thankfully though, Polnareff called Joseph, and eventually Giorno got his turtle back. 


“That was a...stressful day,” Giorno frowned. 


“Dude he stole your fucking turtle!” Joseph exclaimed with a wide smile. 


Giorno frowned even more while Josuke laughed. 


“So then we kept calling this room ‘the room where Coco Jumbo got stolen’ and we just shortened it to Coco Jumbo,” Johnny explained further. 


“It’s quite funny,” Gappy commented. 


Just then the door slammed open. Jolyne stood in the doorway with a nervous smile.


“Mom wants to meet you Hermés,” she announced. She scuttled over and grabbed Hermés hand and they started to walk out the door. 


After out of earshot of everyone else Jolyne mumbled, “This is okay, right?” 


Hermés looked down at their locked hands. She felt a familiar flutter in her stomach and prayed to god that her hand wasn’t sweaty. She felt her heartbeat quicken. What if her hand was sweaty? What if Jolyne found that weird? Why is her hand even sweaty??


“Yeah,” Hermés croaked out a reply, even though her mind was going hyperdrive of anxiety. 


“Did...did they say anything weird to you while I was gone?” Jolyne asked.


Hermés thought for a moment. Her family seemed overprotective, at least when it comes to Jolyne’s love life, but that isn’t weird though. It’s normal to worry about your family, but the “earning our blessing” thing was still making Hermés feel weird. It’s not like she had to make them trust her, they shouldn’t trust her. She and Jolyne have been lying to their faces this entire time. Hermés knew that they shouldn’t trust her, but why did she want them to?


“No,” Hermés finally answered. 


Jolyne squeezed her hand, smiled and said, “Good”


Hermés' heart almost stopped. God, how was she ever supposed to survive this?



Jolyne led Hermés through the vast mansion to another living room. Hermés was about to ask how many living rooms they have in this stupid house, when she relized there was people in the room. Not just people, old adults. There was a woman with bobbed black hair, and a woman with honey shaded hair and a kind face. The men in the room though, god, were they menacing. One had dark brown hair and the body of a bodybuilder. The other just looked plain mean, with his angular face and pointed eyebrows paired with a balding mullet. 


When the honey haired women saw Jolyne and Hermés she gasped and walked over to Jolyne and Hermés. 


“Jolyne!” she exclaimed as she hugged her, “Is this your girlfriend?”


“Yep! For six months and counting,” Jolyne faked smiled. Hermés kept getting more and more concerned on how easily Jolyne can lie to her family. 


The woman squealed, “I'm so happy for you Jolyne!” She hugged Jolyne again. Then the woman turned to Hermés and with the widest smile she said, “Hello! I’m Jolyne’s mother, Holly.” 


“Uh, hi. I’m...Hermés,” she forced out. She was all too tired from this situation already. 


“Hermés! That’s a beautiful name!” 


“Uh, than-” 


“Tomoko! Come meet Jolyne’s girlfriend!” Holly yelled to the other woman in the room. 


“Actually Mom, let’s introduce her to everyone at once,” Jolyne said, while starting to walk over to the couches, where everyone was sitting. 


Once they got in the middle of all the couches, Jolyne looked at all the older adults and said, “I’m sure you all heard, but this is my girlfriend, Hermés. Hermés, this is the rest of my family, minus Uncle Dio and the rest of his children.”


A woman with black hair and a red hairband glared at Hermés. “I’ll be watching you,” she said. 


Hermés smirked nervously, having no idea what to say, “uh-” 


“Aunt Tomoko, there is really nothing to worry about. She’s nothing like Romeo. Just please trust me on this,” Jolyne butted in, saving Hermés from an awkward reply. 


Tomoko rolled her eyes, sighed and got up from the couch. She smiled softly and put her hands on Jolyne’s shoulders, “Fine, I'll trust you,” she turned to Hermés and put out her hand, “I’m Tomoko Joestar-Higashikata. I’m sure you’ve already met Josuke and Josefumi, I’m their mother.” 


Hermés shook her hand and asked, “Is it true that they have the same names?” 


Tomoko laughed and said, “Yeah, it’s a long story.” 


Then the very tall and strong man, who was built like a fucking wall, approched them. 


“Jolyne!” he exclaimed, smiling. He gave her a long hug and then asked, “How is my favorite niece doing?” 


“Uncle Jonathan, I’m your only niece,” she laughed. 


“Doesn’t mean you’re still not my favorite niece.” he smiled. Then his eyes fell towards Hermés. “And you must be Hermés!” He also gave Hermés a quick hug. He smelt like pine trees. “I’m Jonathan Joestar! Joseph is my son.” 


Hermés blinked. They looked like they could be brothers. At least this explained why Joseph was such a muscleman. 


“Oh, wow. Yeah-uh, I can definitely see the resemblance,” Hermés smiled. 


“Don’t be fooled though, Joseph acts nothing like Jonathan,” the oldest looking guy in the room. He had thick eyebrows and was starting to bald. He walked up to Hermés and held out his hand. “George II, Johnny’s dad.” He looked incredibly bored. Hermés shook his hand and then he turned away and sat on the couch again. 


“George get off your fat ass and actually talk to the family for once!” Tomoko yelled at him. 


“Oh fuck you!” he half-ass yelled back while turning on the TV. 


“Oh don’t mind him, he had a bad flight.” Holly smiled, she looked tired. 


“No, he probably just doesn’t like coming to these things anymore because-” Tomoko started grumbling. 


“Uncle Jonathan” Jolyne interrupted, “Where’s Aunt Erina?” 


“Oh! Oh yes, she’s in the kitchen helping make dinner with Roses.” Jonathan replied. 


“Whaaat?! You should have told me! I’ll help!” Holly said, walking away. 


“She just got off a plane, does she ever rest?” Tomoko asked herself. 


“Aunt Tomoko, aren't you younger than Mom by like ten years?” Jolyne asked. 


Tomoko just glared at Jolyne and yelled at her to shut up. Tomoko and Jolyne started to bicker some more, with Jonathan saying some off hand comments to try to make them calm down. Hermés took this opportunity to look around the room some more. It looked mostly like a normal living room, with a sectional, coffee table and a large TV, but to the side there were large ten foot windows exposing outside. Hermés saw a beautiful sunset, with a small layer of snow making everything sparkle. The leafless trees were all covered with christmas lights and tinsel. In the distance, Hermés could see a barn-or maybe a greenhouse, with more Christmas lights on it along with some holiday decorations of Santa and his reindeer. Hermés had never been outside of Florida, but there that was a christmas wonderland if she ever saw one. 


Then it suddenly hit Hermés that she’d actually be spending Christmas with the Joestar family. Hermés almost felt guilty, she’d be lying, manipulating them to actually care for her. Hermés felt her stomach starting to churn and her heartbeat faster. Christmas is supposed to be family time, Hermés is just out of place, only a friend, not family. In truth, Hermés never really had a family. She only had Gloria, and that she’s gone she had nothing-


A light hand on Hermés' shoulder shook her out of her thoughts. 


“Hermés? Are you okay?” Jolyne asked softly, sounding a bit worried. 


“Oh-uh-yeah I’m just admiring the view,” Hermés quickly lied. 


“You sure? You seemed really out of it there,” Jolyne furrowed her eyebrows in concern. 


“Oh yeah, I’m fine. I’m just tired so I was spacing out for a moment,” Hermés lied again. 


“Okay, if you say so. Uh, do you wanna go unpack then?” Jolyne’s voice was still dripping with concern. 


“Yeah. Let’s go,” Hermés replied, trying to keep it together. She almost felt like breaking down crying, but that would show weakness, and Hermés despised showing weakness. 


Jolyne and Hermés waved goodbye to the elders and they started walking back to the rooms. Hermés on the way there was still completely lost in the large house, but was recognising some hallways. She also recognised some people in the photos hanging on the wall. She saw the twin Josukes on a beach when they were around five, she saw a teenage Jotaro with Holly, and a kid that looked like Giorno but had black hair. Hermés concluded that Giorno just dyes his hair. 


Soon enough, Hermés found herself walking into Jolyne’s room. Jolyne walked over to a bean bag and almost fell onto it. Hermés chuckled as she did so. 


“Tired?” Hermés smiled. 


“I just wrestled with a teenage boy who can lift 70 pounds with one arm,” Jolyne stated. 


“Good point,” Hermés agreed. 


“So, what do you think?” Jolyne looked at Hermés. 


“Of the house or your family?” Hermés asked, sitting into the desk chair. 




“The house is huge, this is the last thing I expected. And your family is,” Hermés had to think for a moment. She never really met another family like this before. They all seemed so close. Almost like they’ve all been best friends for a while. Which, in retrospect, is true. “Your family is charming, to say the least.” 


Jolyne sighed and sunk back down in her chair. Hermés didn’t even notice that she sat up. “That’s good. I’m glad you like them.” Hermés couldn’t see, but she somehow knew Jolyne was smiling. Suddenly, Jolyne quickly stood up and stretched. “Let’s get unpacking done before dinner.” 


“Yeah, that’s probably a good idea,”  Hermés said, getting up and grabbing her suitcase. 


While they were unpacking Hermés asked, “So how long are we staying again?”


“Today’s the 19th and we’re leaving the 26th, so seven days?” Jolyne answered.


Hermés hummed in reply, then she pulled out a blanket out of her bag, “Hey, where am I sleeping?” 


Jolyne’s face quickly drained from color, “Oh shit.” 


“You don’t know where I’m gonna sleep,” It wasn’t a question. It was a statement. 


Jolyne groaned and covered her eyes, “I didn’t think about that! Normally when one of my cousins brings over their boyfriends, they just share a room.” 


“O-oh,” Hermés replied, her face felt hot. 


“It’s-it’s fine, you can have my bed, I’ll just sleep on the floor,” Jolyne dismissed quickly. With red tinted cheeks, she started to remove her bedding and put it on the floor. 


“What? Jolyne no that’s fine. We can just share a bed. If that’s okay with you,” Hermés said with her face burning. Why was she blushing so hard?


“Are you sure that’s okay?” Jolyne’s eyes widened. 


“Yeah, it’s no problem man.” 


“Thank you!” Jolyne smiled. 


After a few more minutes of unpacking, Jolyne and Hermés found themselves just laying on the bed scrolling through their phones. Until Jolyne dramatically groaned and got up. She grumbled something when she grabbed Hermés wrist and dragged her out of the room. 


“Uh, Jolyne, where are we going?” Hermés asked. 


“I thought one of my cousins would have done my chores because you’re here, but no, I still have to do them,” Jolyne grumbled. 


“Uh, what’s your chores?”


“Cooking,” Jolyne seethed. She said that word as if it killed her newborn baby and took a shit in her living room.  


Hermés couldn’t help but laugh, “You almost burnt down the kitchen making scrambled eggs! How do you manage cooking dinner?” 


“That’s exactly my point. Thankfully they only make me peel potatoes or chop shit up so I don’t burn the house down,” Jolyne frowned, “I still hate doing it though.” 


Hermés chuckled, “Don’t worry dude, I’ll help.” 


They made their way down to the kitchen and in the kitchen was a complete mess. There was flour covering the countertops, pots and pans littered across any surface, some even on the floor, and there was a lot of screaming. 


Jolyne waltzed right in like it was completely normal. 


“Dude what the fuck,” Hermés said under her breath. 


“It gets like this sometimes,” Jolyne explained, “Just don’t worry about it, we’ll clean it up later.” 


In the kitchen was Holly, Roses, Josuke, and another older woman who Hermés has met before. 


“Oh great! Aunt Erina is here!” Jolyne smiled and led Hermés over to a blonde woman, about the same age as Holly. “Aunt Erina! This is my girlfriend Hermés!” 


“Oh! I’ve heard that you’re bringing her up this year! I’m so glad you moved on from that Romeo, sweetie,” Erina turned to Hermés, “Hello there Hermés, welcome to the signature Joestar Christmas get together. I’m Jolyne’s aunt, Erina. I’m sure you’ve met my husband Jonathan?” 


Hermés shook Erina’s hand, “Jonathan? The really tall and buff guy? He’s kinda hard to miss,” Hermés laughed. 


“Oh yes,” Erina laughed back, “Unfortunately my son also got that trait. I always feel so short around them.” 


“Everyone in this family seems to be tall.” 


“Except for Johnny and Giorno!” Josuke exclaimed from across the kitchen. 


“Johnny is constantly sitting down and Giorno still hasn’t hit his growth spurt yet, they don’t count dipshit!” Jolyne yelled back. 


Josuke grumbled and continued doing whatever he was doing. 


“Anyways, Aunt Erina what do you need us to do?” 


Erina directed them to a table full of potatoes, onions, peppers, and carrots and told them to peel and chop the potatoes and chop the other vegetables. Jolyne sighed, obviously not wanting to do it but walked over there anyways. 


They were about halfway done when Gappy burst into the room saying, “I need someone to bring me to Walmart.” 


Everyone froze, almost startled by the outburst, trying to comprehend what was going on. 


“Uh, why?” Josuke was the first to recover. 


“I forgot my weighted blanket at home,” Gappy looked completely panicked.


Josuke’s eyes winded and he covered his mouth, “Oh shit.” 


“Ask someone else, we’re busy,” Jolyne went back to cutting some peppers. 


“I can’t! Mom is sleeping, Uncle Jonathan is getting out the Christmas stuff, I kinda don’t wanna go with Uncle George or Joseph, Jotaro is working on his thesis, and Giorno and Johnny can’t drive,” Gappy explained putting up a finger for each person. 


“You’re sixteen why can’t you drive yet,” Jolyne shot back. 


“We live in a small town, Jolyne, we have no reason to drive. We can walk anywhere,” Josuke explained offhandedly while stirring something in a pot. 


“Are you sure you can’t sleep without a weighted blanket for one night?” Erina asked politely. 


“He slept under his mattress when he didn’t have one,” Josuke explained. 


“Just go ask Joseph, sweetie,” Holly said with an apologetic smile. 


“Ugh, I’m gonna die if I get a ride from Joseph,” Gappy groaned leaving the kitchen. 


“Well, if I borrow someone’s car, I’m willing to drive him,” Hermés spoke up.  


“Oh thank god,” Gappy said with relief. 


Erina pulled some keys from her pocket, “Take my car. It’s a yellow Volkswagen Beetle.” 


Hermés nodded, waved goodbye to Jolyne, and together Gappy and Hermés left the kitchen. 


Once they got on the road Hermés asked, “So a weighted blanket? You can’t sleep without one?” 


Josuke groaned, “Yeah. I don’t remember how it started to be honest. It could be due to my amnesia.” 


“Amnesia? You’ve had amnesia?” Hermés glanced at Gappy, who was staring out the window. 


“Yeah, when I was seven I fell out of a tree and hit my head. I had no significant brain damage, but I forgot everything before that. I couldn’t even remember my own name.” 


“Holy shit dude.” Hermés didn’t really know what else to really say. 


Gappy laughed, “You can say that again. But yeah, it took some adjusting. I met my best friend from that though, so at least there’s a positive out of that.” 


Hermés laughed, “Your family really gets back up and keeps walking after horrible experiences, huh.” 


“Don’t say that to Johnny,” Gappy smiled.


“Oh my god,” Hermés covered her mouth. She was curious about Johnny's state, but she also didn't want to ask and sound rude. 


“What you said is true though. Our family is oddly accident prone. All of us had at least one horrible event happen to us. We’re crazy,” After a slight pause he continued, “I don’t understand why you chose Jolyne though, she’s like the craziest person out of all of us.” 


“Oh trust me, I know,” Hermés smiled, “One time she crashed-no-drove my car into a lake.


“She did WHAT?” Gappy almost screamed. 


Hermés explained that wonderful experience until they got to Walmart. 


They wandered the store a little bit until they found the blanket. 


“Oh good. They have them. I was worried for a second,” Josuke smiled. He dropped the blanket into the cart. 


“Do you want anything else?” Hermés asked, “Like snacks or something?”  


Gappy’s eyes widened and Hermés noticed that part of his eyes were different color than the rest, “really? You’re willing to get me something?” 


“Yeah why not,” Hermés shrugged. 


“Okay, uh, let’s get some sesame honey dumplings then,” he said pushing the cart. 


“What’s that?” 


“It’s my favorite food! My best friend, Yasuho, gave it to me after I fell from the tree,” Gappy explained, walking towards the fresh produce part of the store. 


Once he found them, he showed the box to Hermés. She furrowed her brows and grabbed it. 


“Why would they be selling these at Walmart?” 


“It’s only this Walmart. I think a Japanese chef works here and they make a bunch of Asian ethnic foods now,” He explained while they were walking to the registers. 


“Hm. I guess that’s pretty cool. Are they even allowed to do that?” 


Gappy just shrugged. 


They bought the two items and went back to the car. On the way back to the estate, together Gappy and Hermés talked about how Asian and Mexican food is superior to everything else. 


When Hermés pulled into the large brick circle and parked the car where it was Josuke said, “Y’know, I’ve only known you for like a day, but I trust you. I’m sure you’ll treat Jolyne right.” 


Hermés felt happy, proud, and guilty all at the same time. 


She laughed and nervously scratched her face, “Thanks kid.” 


Gappy almost hopped out of the car and he waltzed into the estate. Hermés followed suit. 


Gappy ran up into his room to drop off his blanket and his food, while Hermés went back to the kitchen. 


Jolyne perked up from cleaning the counters when Hermés walked back into the kitchen. 


“You’re just in time!” she said, “The food will be done in like 5 minutes.”  


Hermés smiled and grabbed a washcloth to help her clean up. 


Ten minutes later, the whole family was seated around a gigantic table. Although there were thirteen people at the table, there was still plenty of room. 


Everyone was talking and grabbing food. To Hermés, it was fascinating to see so many people so comfortable with each other. It reminded her of the movies, where the entire family would...just be a family. She couldn’t help but feel jealous. 


The current conversation was about if tigers could survive on Mars for some reason. 


“No no no,” Josuke said, “Even if tigers could breathe they wouldn’t even be able to adapt to the local ecosystem! They’d either be killed off quickly or destroy the local population.” 


“He does have a point.”


“Don’t side with him Johnny!” Joseph whined. 


“We can all agree that tigers would not be able to survive on an Earth-like Mars,” Tomoko concluded, “Cheetahs on the other hand-” 


The entire table erupted with either laughter or complaints. 


After dinner, everyone retired to their rooms. They were all exhausted from either their plane rides, car rides, or they just ate way too much food and were going into a food coma (cough, Joseph).


 Jolyne sat on her bed and yawned. She blinked a couple of times and groaned. “Today was so tiring!” she complained putting an arm over her eyes, “I’m gonna fall asleep in this spot right now.” 


“Don’t do that. You’re taking up my side,” Hermés smiled pushing Jolyne away, ”Plus you still have to get ready for bed.” 


Jolyne groaned even louder. 


Hermés shook her head. 


“I’m going to brush my teeth. Don’t fall asleep.” 


Hermés was still smiling when she got to the bathroom down the hall. When she was about halfway done with her nightly bathroom routine, Giorno came in and also started brushing his teeth. 


He said nothing, but he did glance at her a couple of times. It was awkward, to say the least. 


Hermés felt extra nervous around Giorno. She didn’t know if it was because he’s the youngest and she didn’t know how to act around kids, or that he was so well put together even around his young teenage years. It was odd to see the kid so respectful but confident at a young age like that. It made Hermés uneasy, like he was silently judging her all the time. 


Hermés quickly rushed out of the bathroom, the entire awkwardness of the situation did sit right with her. 


When she got back to Jolnye’s room, she was already dressed in her nightwear, which was an oversized, faded t-shirt with shorts underneath. 


“Cool you didn’t fall asleep. Are you gonna brush your teeth now?” 


“I’ll just do it in the morning,” Jolyne yawned while speaking as she crawled into bed. 


“Okay, ew.” 


She shrugged, “I’ve been in worse situations.” 


Then Jolyne turned the opposite direction ending the conversation. 


Hermés rolled her eyes and got dressed. She shut off the lights and crawled into the bed next to Jolyne.  


Jolyne was asleep within seconds, but Hermés, of course, was internally freaking out. She couldn’t help but remember that Jolyne was just next to her. The bed was big enough to fit two people comfortably, but even then Hermés moves around in her sleep a lot. What if she accidently touches Jolyne, or what if she falls off the bed and makes a fool of herself? What if she steals the blanket, making Jolyne miserable for the rest of the night? 


To put it simply, Hermés didn’t sleep much that night.