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“Bert! Help!” Gerard cried from the passenger side of the car. “Help help help! We have an emergency!”

Bert did not look alarmed at all. He looked like he was well accustomed to Gerard’s overdramatic cries for attention. He also looked like he found these outbursts to be both amusing and adorable.

“What’s wrong, sweetheart?” He said lazily, a smile playing at his lips and his eyes not drifting from the road ahead.

“I got bubblegum stuck in my hair! I just dyed it! This is an emergency, I’ll need to shave my head! My hair will fall out! I’m going to die!!!” Gerard moaned loudly as they pulled into the driveway. Bert laughed lightly.

“Haven’t you heard of the peanut butter trick? It’s the oldest one in the books.” Gerard shook his head slightly. Bert chuckled again and motioned for him to follow him inside.

Gerard was still picking at the bright pink Double Bubble gum in his hair, right by his ear. Bert was already on it, though, heading to the pantry where he quickly located the tub of peanut butter.

“Come over here” Bert said, motioning to a chair in the kitchen

Gerard walked over, still pouting, and sat down. Bert crouched down to assess the situation.

“Yup. definitely stuck in there real good. How did you even do this, babe?” He questioned. Gerard just mumbled.

“Now this” Bert said, sticking a few fingers in the tub of peanut butter “shouldn’t hurt a bit”

Bert started massaging the gum with his fingers and tugging gently. Gerard winced softly.

“Beeeert! You said that this wouldn’t hurt. You’re tugging!”

“Hold on, honey, do you want your pretty hair or not?” Gerard fell silent at that.

The gum began to loosen from Gerard’s hair, until Bert was able to slowly drag it out.

“See? I told you it would work.” Bert said triumphantly. Gerard beamed at him.

“Shit, you’re such a smartass sometimes. But now i’m all covered in peanut butter...” Gee finished in a mumble, reaching for the paper towels.

“No, no, no,” Bert said, leaning into Gerard’s ear “let me take care of it for you” He whispered, sending shivers down Gerard’s spine.

Bert slowly traced the edge of Gerard’s ear with his tongue, gently swiping off the peanut butter. He moved down closer to the lobe and gently nibbled at the now sticky flesh. Gerard’s breath hitched slightly as he felt Bert’s warm breath in his ear. Bert continued trailing kisses up and down Gee’s neck, making Gee’s cock twitch lightly.

“Bert, you’re such a tease.” Gerard moaned lightly.

“You haven’t seen the worst of it.” Bert said softly, pulling away. He popped a piece of gum into his own mouth. After chewing it lightly, he leaned into gerard. Gerard could smell the sweet, sugary gum as he spoke. He kissed Gerard with some force, pulling away with a string of gum linking their mouths. Gerard giggled.

“Shit” Bert sighed, Looking at the gum that was already bonding to his hair.

“Shit.” Gerard agreed “I’ll go get the peanut butter.”