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You Don't Need No Remix When You're Already Perfect

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It was a golden afternoon to everyone in Ponyville. The sun was shining brighter than Celestia, the flowers blooming in a million different shades, and even the cobbled streets looked shimmering and splendid.

Yes, it was indeed a beautiful day for all…

All, that is, but Octavia Melody, Ponyville’s resident cellist and music teacher at Ponyville Schoolhouse.

“Thank Celesita, I thought this day would never end…”, Octavia muttered to herself, but really she was still reeling from the day’s events, her ears ringing and not in the musically aesthetic way. Her hooves were aching by the time she had reached her house, and her mood was about as pleasant as her tone death door knock.

“Whooooo is it, brah?”, a voice asked from inside, followed by a disc scratch and a stifled giggle.

Octavia huffed, warm air emenating from her mouth. Normally she would have enjoyed the surely illegal way her wife made her grin like an idiot, but she was in no mood for shenanigans of any kind, even the romantic ones.

“Vinyl, it’s me. Open the door before I regret every action I’ve ever taken in my entire life.”, Octavia threatened, and Vinyl didn’t take it too seriously, considering Octavia said that about twice a day, like clockwork.

Vinyl, however, WAS concerned about Octavia, and she showed it when she opened the door and let her wife in. “Woah, dude… Are you cool?”

Octavia rolled her eyes as she walked over a plate of half eaten nachos, a basket of muffins from their dear friend Ditzy and a skeleton hoodie that she lifted with her hoof and pursed her lips at.

“I get the first two, but what on Equestria do you need this for?”, she asked, throwing it at Vinyl’s direction, who grabbed it and grinned.

“Sometimes I wanna feel spoopy, ya know? Oooohhhhh!”, Vinyl said, like a ghost, before giggling, hoodie on.

Octavia pretended to be annoyed, when she was really annoyed at someone else. “Ha, ha. VERY funny. I find it amusing that I care more about your stuff than you do!”

Vinyl groaned, rolling her eyes. This conversation popped up numerously, and she wasn’t up for this. “Sorry, dude, but the DJ jams a different tune, and sometimes a few notes fall behind.”

“…Which means?”

“I was rocking hard laying down some sick beats and I forgot about lunch. OOOH, speaking of jam, I bought some today!”, Vinyl exclaimed, and she quickly spread some on one of the muffins, as Octavia watched on dryly.

“You like blueberry, or strawberry? I’m just joshin’, I know you love both!”, Vinyl said, and she handed a muffin.

Octavia politely moved Vinyl’s hand away, and the DJ sighed again. Every attempt had been a bust so far, something had to be done.

Vinyl wasn’t the best at it, but perhaps some boring work chatter would help. Tavi HAD just come back from work.

“So, Tavi… How was your really grown up job? I bet it was SOOOOO adult.”, Vinyl asked, lying down on the couch, her hooves on top of Octavia’s lap, who sat up straight and tried to stifle a giggle. Vinyl had a knack at making her smile, but she was too bummed to do so.

Besides work was EXACTLY the problem.

“It was fine.”, Octavia blatently lied. “Definitely not a horror show.”

“As definitely as my love for bubblegum pop?”, Vinyl asked, and Octavia again had to deflect.

“Work was fine and boring, ok? Why don’t we talk about something way more interesting, like all the things you forgot to pick up from last night’s jam session.”, Octavia changed the subject, and Vinyl turned sheepish.

“Oh, shoot! Tavi, I’m, like, super sorry! So not rockin’ of me.”

“Perhaps if I pretend to be angry at her, I can forget my own problems!”, Octavia wished, and she pointed at the instruments. “I mean, forgetting my instruments is par for the course, but you left your own equipment too! What if someone slipped on it… AND FELL?”

“Would be pretty hilarious…”, Vinyl said, before switching routes. “But also, uh… VERY irresponsible! Yes, VERY irresponsible! Nailed it! Boo yeah!”, she cheered, and Octavia groaned out loud and got up, pacing the room.

“Will you STOP being your cheerful little self for just a moment and help me clean up? Maybe you could stop being SO interesting for just a moment?!”, Octavia said, and Vinyl raised an eyebrow at that.

“Yo, brah, not sure I got what me being RAD-A-LICIOUS has to do with what’s bugging you.”

Octavia feigned shock and pointed a hoof at herself. “Me? Bugged? What makes you think I’m bugged? I’m not one of your devices!”

“Really? I play you like one so well!”, Vinyl joked, wiggling her eyebrows, and Octavia blushed red.

“You’re lucky we’re married!”, Octavia said with “anger”.

“I am. I am lucky. So when the greatest musician I know is down, I like to know why.”, Vinyl pushed further, and Octavia bit her lip, before turning her back on her partner.

“And… And maybe I don’t want to tell? Maybe I want to focus on my cello that’s been left on the ground?”

“Tavi, when you don’t knock on the door to the tune of Beethoofen’s fifth, I know something is up. It’s ok. I won’t judge you, brah! I’m cool like that!”, Vinyl said, worried but still trying to help the mood.

Octavia began to panic and shake, voice quivering with anger, until she just couldn’t take it no longer.


A rare silence was present in the house, until Octavia, feeling horrible for her outburst, sat down on the soft, lying all the way down, while Vinyl softly went over and stared down at the pony she loved.

“…I’m sorry. It’s not your fault I feel horrible.”

Vinyl didn’t say anything, she just began to nuzzle her wife’s mane, and Octavia, knowing it was necessary, began to let it out, tears in her eyes.

“It’s just… It’s just that the kids I teach clearly don’t find the classics interesting, and… And they want what’s new, and fresh, and upbeat, and… I don’t know how to do that.”

Her lips trembled, and Vinyl kept on nuzzling, feeding her strength. “I act all high and mighty with my music, except with you, of course, but honestly I feel so small. They clearly want someone more fun, I’m just the most boring teacher ever.”

Octavia sighed. “I just felt so… Useless. I took it out on you. The only song in my heart. I’m so sorry.”

Vinyl didn’t say anything, and then she kissed Octavia’s forehead and said “…You’re not boring. If you were, I wouldn’t have married you, now did I?”

Octavia had to smile. “You make a good point.”

But she then sighed. “But… But will they ever find me interesting?”

Vinyl scratched her chin before coming up with an idea. “Tell ya what: I’m too busy not doing anything until you come anyway! Why don’t I join you and keep the atmosphere light? I can show them that music can be fun, and you can show them that ALL music can be fun!”

Octavia smiled brightly, excited at the solution. “That’s… Actually a great idea! Once we break the ice, who KNOWS what wonders we could teach them!”

Vinyl then grinned cheekily. “And on break time you and I could sit on a tree…”

Octavia blushed again, but she liked the idea. “All right, fine! You’re such a silly girl. How did you ever fall for someone as different as me?”

Vinyl gave her one last nuzzle and answered her quarry.

“That’s exactly why I did. You don’t need no remix when you’re already perfect.”