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Outlander Options - Claire goes back in less than a year after Culloden

Summary:

What might have happened if Claire went back in time before Brianna had been born? Here is my idea...

*Edit*This is my first fan fiction story. Warning, I'm 52 chapters in and feeling like it is just past half of the story I want to tell.

That story is Claire going back before she had Brianna, and having time with Jamie and their ever increasing family no matter what time it has to be in to keep their family safe.

Notes:

Diana Gabaldon owns all rights to Outlander

Chapter 1: Claire comes back to 1948 and prepares to go back to her family.

Notes:

Hello Dear Readers!
Our story starts after Jamie sent Claire through the stones before Culloden.

second editing began 06/03/2023

It bothered me that I changed tense. I started the story in third person, then remembered the story was written in first person so I am editing.

Have a great day!

edited 12/22/2022 - I corrected some grammatical errors and made things more clear.

Chapter Text

"Oof" I landed flat on my back.

 

I knew I was alone before I opened my eyes and even as I told myself not to cry I felt tears on my cheeks.  

 

I stayed still and stared at the back of my eyelids hoping the nausea would calm.  It didn’t calm; I sat up and vomited.  I wiped my mouth with my sleeve and took a small delight in the rudeness.  I rolled away from the sick but I stayed on the ground.

 

What if I just went back… I thought as I stared at that damn stone.  The stone that had taken me from two husbands.  Frank.  Damn. I knew I was going back on the promise I made Jamie, and truthfully, I knew before I even got all the way through that damn stone.  I could never go back to Frank.  If I went back to my family right now it would be in the middle of the battle and I couldn’t do that to the little bit of Jamie that I was entrusted to keep safe; our child. That damn stone; I appreciated that it took me to Jamie but it also took me away from him.

Thinking of the child I would have, I somehow found the energy to get up.  I looked around...definitely not where I came from, no Jamie, no sounds of war starting. I started walking down the hill and saw the road. An ugly blacktop that covered the ground. I made it out the road, picked a direction and started walking.

And I kept crying.

Get it together Beauchamp. You're doing this for the baby. Focus on having a child, I told myself.

After what felt like miles and many reminders of why I was here instead of tending to the wounded at Culloden Moor I heard an automobile motor and I froze.  The sound was so foreign to me it felt like I had been gone for decades, not just three years.

I turned around and looked at the automobile, which had stopped behind me.  The driver got out and stood there staring at me for a moment.  

I broke the awkward moment by asking, “What year is it?”

"What?" He turned his head sideways like he was trying to hear me better.

"What year is it?" I asked as loud as my painful head allowed.

"1948. Are ye alright?" The man had asked.

I sat right there on the road before my legs gave way and started crying again; thick heavy sobs that tugged at the little energy I had left.  I knew right after I went through the stone that he was gone from me.  I knew laying on that hill he was gone, but hearing the year out loud was so confirming that it physically hurt.

I think the man who drove the car thought I was a lunatic.  He helped me into his vehicle and when I didn’t answer his questions he took me to a hospital, thankfully, instead of an asylum or sanitarium.

When the car stopped the man kept clearing his throat and I looked at him.  He nodded to the front window and I saw the hospital.

I remember thinking, this is a good idea, I could use a hospital so I got out of the car.  By the time I turned to thank the man he was gone.

I went in and gave my name as Fraser before I corrected myself and said Randall.  It was such a difficult thing to do; I was used to calling myself Claire Fraser with pride and belonging.  Saying the word Randall made me think of Black Jack.  A man I hoped would die soon if he wasn’t already dead.  I then reminded myself he’s been dead for a long time.

Consciously, I knew the battle was over two hundred years ago but it didn’t feel that way.  It felt like it was going on just over the hill, or through a door.

“Mrs. Randall.” I heard and looked around for Mary for a few seconds before realizing there were calling me.

I made nice with the Nurse and peed in a cup, gave blood, all the things they like to check.  I had been admitted to the hospital because, as the Nurse told me, I was dehydrated and in need of care. 

The nurse had just left after settling me in a bed when a Doctor barged in the room.  He was barrel chested and I got myself to one side of the bed looking for a weapon before I reminded myself he was unlikely to hurt me.

“Hmmm, skittish.” He murmured and wrote something down on his clipboard.  I held my head high, I am a Fraser, no matter what name I have to use.

The barrel chest sat down, thankfully, in the farthest chair.  He looked at me for a long moment.

"You're about 2 months pregnant," he said. "Did you know?"

His tone was accusatory and I didn’t think I had to answer but inwardly I sighed with relief.  The baby had made it through the stones!

"I’ve called your Husband and we will be keeping you until he can take possession of you.” He said then he stood up and walked out of my room.

I bristled at his wording.  ‘Take possession of me’ like I am an object to be returned to the rightful owner.  I couldn’t stay in this time, there was no way.  I had to go back.  A life in that time without Jamie would be hard, but I would still have my family.

Nurse Drever came back into the room.  “Can I get ye anything, are ye hungry yet?” She asked.

I stared at her for a moment and knew she was someone to trust.  I smiled.  “I am starving.” I said and she smiled wider.  “Also, do you know anyone in Inverness?  I would like to contact a friend, Mrs. Graham, she works at the Manse with a Priest, Father-” I was asking but she cut me off.

“Aye, I ken her, she is my Aunt Violet.” Nurse Drever said with a toothy grin.  She went to the phone on the little table and dialed a number. 

I heard the one sided conversation - Hi Auntie, Aye, I’m braw   -   I’m at work and someone here asked me to call ye -  aye, ye  -   Claire  Randall  - Nay, I’m no joking - Aye, she is here and wants to see ye, can ye come?   -   Thank ye Auntie.

“She is on her way and she is surprised to hear from you.” Nurse Drever said and left the room.  She brought back a heavy tray and I ate as much as I could.

 

I waited and went over the plan I had in my head.  I had to stay long enough to get divorced from Frank, that would take a while but he deserved a clean break.  I had to go back through while I was still pregnant though because a trip through the stones would likely be too hard on a baby or a small child.  I knew I could travel pregnant.  I could work and earn money to support myself.  I could sew myself a dress, I think, I can learn to sew.  I would be ready the next time I traveled through that stone.  Mrs. Graham might know the times when travel through the stones is done, Jamie had talked about pagan holidays.

I rubbed my middle, where I imagined our baby was growing.  Our home is at  Lallybroch-  Jenny, Ian, their children, me and you.   I closed my eyes and dozed off with the satisfaction of someone who knows her future.

"Ye have a visitor." Nurse Drever said as Mrs. Graham followed her through the door. 

"Ye need to stay put." The nurse got to my bed just as I was getting one foot to the floor.

"Okay." I put my foot back under the blanket just as Mrs. Graham settled in the closest chair.  Nurse Drever smiled and left the room.

“Halo Claire, how are ye?” Mrs. Graham asked.

We exchanged pleasantries, and Mrs. Graham was as nice as ever.

After a short pause I said, "I have a story to tell." Then paused.   "Since you are likely the only person I know who will believe me I want to share it with you.” I said.  She nodded and leaned just a bit towards me.  Mrs. Graham was an attentive audience and asked all the right questions while I told the story of what happened. How I fell through the stones, my adventures, and especially Jamie and how I was pregnant with his child.

"Oh my, what ye must be going through!  I’m sorry dear." She said and patted my hand.

"Mrs. Graham,-"

"O dear, call me Violet."

"Thank you, that's such a nice name, Violet." I smiled and looked directly at her, "I'm going back." I said and I saw her eyes twinkle. She nodded just a tiny bit, as if she was giving her approval.

“Whit can I do ta help?” Violet asked.

***

An hour later Mrs. Violet Graham left the hospital with a new to-do list and smiling to herself at the energy of young people.

 

By the next day my plans felt comfortable and I knew I could do what I needed to do and I knew I was up for it.  I missed Jamie but I knew I couldn’t dwell on his loss too much right now.  I had to think about it in little bits or I knew I would put myself in a pit of despair and I worried about a miscarriage.

 

That first day I slept and ate most of the day.  The next morning Frank arrived.  It was early in the morning and I’d fallen back asleep a few hours prior to his arrival reading a book one of the nurses had lent me.  Frank had woken me with both hands on my shoulders and he was saying my name.

When I opened my eyes I saw black Jack and I screamed and punched him right in the nose.  I jumped out of bed and ran to the window thinking only of escape.

“Claire, it’s alright. Get him out of here.” Nurse Drever was saying,  I looked up because she went home yesterday and I hadn’t seen her yet today. Two other nurses were walking Frank out the door. They must've heard me scream.

I pulled my leg back back from the window sill and Nurse Drever closed and locked the window.  “Did he hurt ye Claire? Are ye alright?” She asked me as I sat back on the bed trying to still my shaking hands.

“Nurse Drever,-” I started but she stopped me.

“It’s Patty, yer a fellow nurse, call me Patty.” She said and sat next to me.

“Thank you, Patty, it’s not really Frank, it’s what happened in those years I was gone.  I can’t go back to him.” I said and a blasted tear rolled down my cheek at the thought of hurting a man who’d been good to me.  I was becoming a watering pot.

“Okay, why don’t I take you to him.  That way you might not feel cornered.” She said.

“That sounds good.” I said and nodded.

Frank was in an empty room across the hall where someone was looking at his nose.  I heard someone say not broken and, while I was glad,  I knew I had to get better at punching.

 

“When ye’re finished Claire will be in the waiting room down the hall.” Nurse Drever said to the room at large.

 

“Claire!” I heard Frank call but I continued walking to the waiting room.

It wasn’t long before Frank met me in the waiting room. The first thing he did was try to kiss me but I couldn’t.  My head was still screaming in panic thinking of black Jack.

 

“Claire, where have you been?” he asked me. 

 

I took a shaky breath and had two false starts before I spoke.  “Frank, I’m sorry I hit you.  You startled me.” I managed to get out.

 

“You never hit me before if I startled you.” Frank said, obviously a little hurt.

 

I hadn’t looked at him directly.  I didn’t know if I could and not see Black Jack Randall. 

 

“Claire, talk to me.” Frank said.

 

“Can we talk when I get out?  Please?” I asked.

 

“Okay.  I will get us a room.” He said.

 

“Rooms.” I said, emphasizing the plural.  “Please.” I asked with my head still down.

 

He didn’t reply, but he did walk away so I went back to my room.

 

I was released from the hospital later that day and I made sure to ask for a copy of my paperwork in an envelope.  If Frank didn’t believe that I was pregnant I would have proof.

Frank waited for me outside with the same automobile he’d owned before.  He smiled and helped me in, but he saw me flinch when he touched me.

We were staying at the Manse, which I didn’t mind.  I liked Violet very much.

 

As soon as we got back I asked to go to my room and Violet helped me. She made sure to tell me that I had a room and Frank had a room.  I thanked her and to my surprise she hugged me.  I took a nap, because I knew I would tell Frank my story later and we would be up late.

 

As I was just drifting off I heard Jamie’s voice call me Sassenach and I cried myself to sleep.  When I woke I looked for Jamie, like the past two days hadn’t happened and when I remembered it all I cried some more.  After dinner I went to Frank’s room and I told him my story.  All of it.  I left nothing out because I knew he deserved the truth. It took over two hours and he never said a word.   I told him that I’d fallen in love with Jamie and that I was pregnant.

 

“Pregnant! I, that’s…” Frank said.  He’d started sounding happy, then realized it wasn’t his baby.

 

“Get out.” he said and I got up and left. I shut the door and started to go to my room while Frank was calling me ugly names.

 

It felt like a huge weight had been lifted off me. I was sad to hurt Frank, he was a decent man but he deserved to start over with someone who loved him.  I’d opened the door to my room but I saw Violet waving at me from the first floor and I went downstairs where we sat in the kitchen.

 

 “Are ye alright?” She asked me.

 

"Yes. I just told Frank what happened and that I’m pregnant.  He told me to get out of his room and called me names so I don’t think he will mind giving me the divorce.” I said with a fake smile.

 

“Let me get you a bite to eat.” She said but just as soon as Violet stood there was a loud crash from upstairs and we heard Frank yelling.  

 

“Come back you whore!” Frank yelled with venom in his voice.

 

I heard him stomp over to my room and I looked at the ceiling with surprise.  Frank having an emotional response to something was a new experience for me.

 

“Let’s go.” Violet said and I looked at her in puzzlement.

 

“Lass, he’s been here often and he’s been violent sometimes.  I stayed tonight because I was worried he’d do it again.  Let’s git ye to safety.” Violet said and I followed her just as I heard Frank scream my name.  In my mind I saw Black Jack Randall looking for me, not my calm Frank.

 

Violet got me in her auto and I saw my bag already there.  I was surprised; Violet was prepared and I instantly respected that about her.  We went to a hotel and got a room under the name Elizabeth Fraser in case Frank started calling places.  I hadn't told Frank Jamie's last name because I didn't want the historian in him to start with any facts he knew of the time.  Now I was glad of that choice.

 

“Alright lass, take some money.” She said and handed me a large wad of bills.

 

“Violet, I couldn’t, you’ve already done so much for me.” I said and tried to refuse the bills.

 

“Lass, ye need some funds now, I can’t get back to ye until tomorrow evening and ye will need to eat.  Ye can pay me back when ye get the nursing job.” She said and put the bills in my pocket.

 

I smiled at her.  She’d already paid for a week at the hotel.  “Alright, but I am paying you back.” I said and hugged her on impulse.

  

“I will come by tomorrow evening and if I can’t come by, I will call.” Violet said and then she was gone.

 

I got into my room and it was very nice; there was an icebox, a hotplate and a table and chairs along with the normal bedroom things.

 

I put my things on the bed and realized Violet had packed me a bag of food, bless that woman!  I had a biscuit and drank some milk before I curled up on the bed and dreamt of Jamie.

 

The next day I took a hot shower and enjoyed it immensely.  I got dressed, drank some more milk then went outside.  Violet Graham was a genius.  The hotel she took me to was two blocks from the hospital so I walked there to inquire about a job.

 

They were in need of some nurses and it would take about a week to verify that I was a nurse but I had a job if I wanted it.  I was honest about my pregnancy and told them I wanted to start half time to see how it went, which was fine.  They asked to call me when the verification came through but I told them I was currently staying at a hotel and I would check back in a few days.  There was a café next to the hospital and I stopped there to get something to eat and bought a sandwich to take with me for later.  I stopped in another little shop and saw they sold antique clothing styles and old coins.  I could hardly wait to make my own money. I did purchase a small notebook for myself.

 

I walked back to the hotel and put my sandwich in the icebox.  I was thinking about Jamie when there was a knock at the door.  I had no idea who it could be but I’d thought it was probably someone who had the wrong room.  

 

I cautiously opened the door.  It was a smiling woman with bright red hair and freckles.

 

“Claire?” She said and I nodded.

 

“May I come in?” She asked.  I looked at her and decided I would be safe.

 

“Yes, please.” I said and opened the door wider.

 

She turned and picked up two boxes and brought them in with her and started talking.  “My name is Eliza and I am a Sister Druid of Violet’s.  She stopped by my house last night and told me you were a friend in need of help and that you were here while your Husband is staying at the manse so she wasn’t sure she could get to you.  She also told me you were not listed with your given name.  I’m so sorry, men can be such brutes.” She said while she started unpacking her boxes.

 

The first box contained food, about a week’s worth.

 

“Eliza, this is very kind of you but-” I started to say but she cut me off as she opened the icebox.

 

“Now Claire, if a woman can’t help another woman what has this world come to?” She said and smiled at me.  “Besides, that sandwich and milk won’t last ye long.” Eliza  said and started putting the food away.  I put a hand on my stomach; I would accept her help, I had to for a while at least.

 

When I looked up she was looking at me.  “Are you with bairn?” She asked and I nodded.

 

“Oh, congratulations! That is a blessing indeed!” She said, rather animatedly.   The second box held blankets and about a dozen books and she asked me if I was interested in anything.  About half were for homemakers and the other half was novels.

 

“Yes, very much, thank you.” I said and she smiled at me.  Even if I wasn't, I would take the books and thank her.

 

“Do ye plan to stay in Scotland?” She asked and I nodded.  I didn’t plan to leave Scotland.

 

“I have an old sewing machine that I was planning to donate, but do ye want it?  It works fine, my husband just bought me a new one.  Ye could sew clothes for the bairn.” She said all in one breath.

 

“Yes, thank you again, that is very nice.” I said.  Yes, I know I can’t sew, but at least one of the books was about sewing, I could learn.

 

Violet had called me that night from her house.  She wasn’t able to meet with me but she hoped I didn’t mind her asking Eliza to stop by.  I told her I didn’t mind at all and her Druid friend seemed very nice. I told her she could tell her Druid friends about me; they weren't likely to call me the pregnant fairy lady like I was being referred to in the paper.  Violet told me they certainly would not call me that rubbish name, and they would help me and believe my story.

 

I dreamt of Jenny that night.  She was standing at the gates to Lallybroch and she was worried for Jamie and I.  I woke in the middle of the night and got something to eat as I cried.

 

The next day Eliza came back and brought me a sewing machine, more food and another sewing book along with baby patterns and some fabric.  She told me another sister druid would be stopping by tonight to bring me more fabric.

 

I walked to the hospital just to use a phone.  I called the manse and asked to speak to Frank. He agreed to meet me at the diner across the street and I made sure to get there before he did.  When he got there I told him right away I wanted a divorce.  

 

“A divorce? Claire, don’t be dramatic.” He said and drank his coffee.

 

“Frank.” I said and took a calming breath. “I don’t love you as I once did and I want a divorce so you can find someone new to love you as you should be loved.” I said as calmly as I thought possible.

 

He pounded the table and told me I was being ridiculous.  He told me that a child should be raised with a Father and a lot of other things that didn’t change the facts.

***

 

We had many of these conversations in that first week.  They were pretty much the same so I won't bore you with them.  After six days Frank had decided he was going back to London.  He’d had some money wired and he gave it to me, then left.

 

That second week in 1948 I started work.  Violet was more free to meet me now and I paid her back the money I owed her.  She thanked me and tried to get me to take half back and said she didn't need it right away.

 

It took another two weeks of terrible phone calls but one month after I was back in this time an officer of the court brought me divorce papers.  It was an embarrassing thing to happen at work, but since Frank still didn’t know where I was staying I hadn’t left him much choice.

 

The following day I met Violet at the coffee shop near the hotel and I told her I got the divorce papers. 

 

“I ken dear, it was in the Inverness paper today.” She said while I stared at her.  Violet pulled the page out of her purse and handed it to me. 

 

"Mr. Frank Randall divorces the pregnant fairy woman”  I read out loud in disbelief.

 

"Aye, whit rubbish.” Violet said, then giggled a bit, which had me giggling.

 

“Oh, I have to go, I have a checkup scheduled at the hospital.” I said and stood up.  “Thank you Violet, for everything.”

 

Violet smiled at me and I left for my appointment.  



**At the checkup**

 

"TWINS?!"

 

"Mrs. Randall, please lower your voice. I suspect twins, this is why I requested ye bring your husband." The doctor was looking at me from across the desk like I was a child.

 

"It's Beauchamp thank you, I am getting divorced in case you didn't see today's paper." I told him.

 

"Yes, well…" The doctor mutters something then really looks at me, "Yes, Mrs. Beauchamp I strongly suspect twins. Ye are 3 months pregnant, we will need another month to be sure about there being two babies.." 

 

He paused to let that sink in.

 

"I understand ye are working at the hospital?" He asked me.

 

"Half time, yes." I replied. My brain was starting to comprehend the word twins. Two of Jamie's babies instead of one. I smiled and hoped for the twins.

 

"I want ye to plan to stop work at 7 months. Everything looks perfectly fine but if I'm right and ye do have twins it's a bit more challenging. Will ye stop working in four months?" He asked me.

 

Thank you Uncle Lamb I thought as I remembered my inheritance, and not for the first time. "Yes, that won't be a problem.  What about the miscarriage I had, will that make this birth dangerous?" I asked.

 

"No Mrs. Ran-Beauchamp, as long as you continue to take the vitamins I prescribed."  He shuffled his papers and stood up so I stood up and thanked him.

 

I walked slowly back to my hotel that day, stopping in the shops where I had become a regular. In the fabric and dress shop the clerk told me of a new high quality wool they received and I purchased 18 yards in two different colors. At the antique shop I was able to secure 6 more 200 year old coins. 

 

I smiled to myself as the hotel came into view. I had time. I would be ready the next time I went through the stones. I got into my room and put my bags on the table next to the sewing machine. I might have two babies. I smiled as I decided to nap and I dreamt of two babies with Jamie's eyes.

***

I finished reading the letter from Frank and put it down. A fresh start?! I would never go to Boston. The paperwork was filed for the divorce and all I asked for was the money Uncle Lamb had left me and my personal belongings.  I didn’t want to travel now anyway as I was almost 4 months pregnant and was still getting nauseous in cars.  I hoped Frank wouldn’t make me wait longer for the divorce; I knew I would be a scorned woman here, but I didn’t care.  I knew what I was going to do, and leaving Scotland had no part in my plans.  I wrote a nice letter back to Frank thanking him for being so nice but letting him know I hadn't changed my mind.

 

I was going to work for a while, until I was seven months pregnant.  Halloween was in a little over 3 months and that meant Samhain.  Violet said that would be a good day to go through the stones. I was going back. This time period just wasn't home. Lallybroch was my home, and Jenny and Ian were my family. Our family. Jamie's child -possibly children I corrected myself- would be raised in that time with their family. I had already bought many yards of wool and cotton, hundreds of seeds, and enough eighteen century money Jenny and Ian would be sure to take me in to live at Lallybroch. I had multiple books on order. I knew books were dangerous, the difference in how they looked would be obvious to anyone who saw them. I certainly didn't want to risk another witch trial, but the knowledge would be so helpful I was willing to take a few books. 

 

Nurse Drever was ordering smallpox and DTP vaccines for me. I had told her I planned a trip to the remote Highlands and my nurse status allowed me to administer these routine inoculations.  I had already amassed a leather satchel full of carefully wrapped penicillin, aspirin and motion sickness drug in case our child took after their Father. The other three satchels would carry the vaccines, the books and money, the clothes and fabric, and food for the trip.

___

The time passed quickly and quietly. Violet and I met at least once a week, usually twice. We went to Edinburgh once with Roger and spent the day going to antique shops and museums.  Surprisingly, Roger had a great time.  I worked four or five hours most days.  I napped a lot. 

 

My best news was I found out I was carrying twins! At four months the doctor said it was very likely, but at five months he said he was sure.  He heard two distinct heartbeats  and he told me about measurements and different signs of twins.  I was ecstatic at the idea of two of Jamie's babies instead of one.  

 

Frank found out about the twins and he mailed me a nice card and a large check which I instantly thought to send back but reconsidered.  The divorce was final and I had plenty of funds so I didn't need the money from Frank but maybe Frank needed to think he helped me.  I wrote him a nice long thank you note and told him about working and learning to sew. I figured that would make him laugh.  I told him his money would go toward clothes for the babies and thanked him.  I bought much more material than I originally planned. 

 

I missed Jamie all the time.  Sometimes when I slept I would dream of him and it would feel so real I woke up disoriented and looked for him.

 

I continued to work half time at the hospital and while I was friendly with the other nurses and patients I kept to myself a bit. I shopped often, looking for those specific items I could take back with me. I did actually learn to sew and I was pleased with my efforts. I sewed almost daily, always grateful for the used sewing machine Eliza had brought me. I also learned to knit and managed a few small pairs of booties and a couple pairs of socks. 

 

The day after my last day of work I got up and, like most days, thought about Jamie, then food. I looked at the remainder of the cake I had brought home from the hospital yesterday. I'd been there for such a short time but my co-workers were so nice to me, having a small good luck and goodbye party.

 

Okay, only 1 piece. I told myself.

 

Three pieces of cake and two glasses of milk later I settled down to sew more baby clothes and the hours ran away from me.

 

Violet picked me up because we were going to the manse today.  The Reverend was in England for the week.

 

"What will you miss?" Violet asked me as she drove us to the manse.

 

"Hot showers, flush toilets, you." I said as I readjusted myself to try to get comfortable in the vehicle.  I was huge and getting comfortable was a job.

 

Violet smiled at me. "Are you getting things done that you need to, or do you need help?"

 

I looked over at her and felt blessed to have a friend for about the hundredth time. "I'm doing okay. If I get any bigger I think I will pop." I said and patted my 7 month bulge that is 2 babies.

 

Violet parked and we walked into the manse.  Violet turned a light on and, 

 

"Surprise!"

 

"Jesus H, sorry" I said and blushed as I looked around the room at the group of women from infants to elderly and then I looked at Violet.

 

"These are all my sister druids." Violet explained. I’d given permission for her to share most everything with these women about my story but I hadn’t known there were so many.

 

One woman came forward and introduced herself. "Hi, I'm Sarah, and we are very happy to celebrate with ye. Alice was in England last year," She nodded to another woman who smiled at her. " and went to a baby shower so we thought we would have one." Sarah explained.

 

Alice took up the story. "Yours is special though, we have gifts but only things that would be around 200 years ago." She said.

 

I looked around and saw the food, gifts, and happy women.

 

"Thank you, I appreciate this so-" But had to stop because of the tears forming in my eyes. Damn hormones!

 

"Dinna fash." Alice smiled and patted me on the back. I was so used to being around nurses that these women were a novel and happy experience.

 

The party was fun and the other women were very kind.  I’d already met a few women that visited me at the hotel so that was nice but there were many new faces.  All these women here for the pregnant fairy woman, I thought to myself and had to smile.  They were wonderful to celebrate with me.

 

When the women started to leave I said goodbye and got hugged many times. I found myself hugging them back, I felt connected to these women.

 

Violet and little Roger helped me load the gifts into the car and then into my hotel room.

 

"If I write thank you notes, will you please deliver them?" I asked Violet as the older woman was looking around the hotel room in awe. 

 

“Of course.  Will you really be able to take all these things?” Violet asked.

 

"I think so," I said and hesitated, and looked at Roger.

 

"It's okay dear, he is in his own little world." Violet motioned to Roger who was playing with his cars.

 

"I think it will be fine." I looked around the room also. "I made an extra leather bag to put everything in. After I go through I will stash the bags and walk to Inverness to buy a mule. The mule will carry everything." I told her quietly. 

 

The last two weeks passed quickly. I wrote up thank you cards and gave them to Violet.  I had some more pictures printed and packed and repacked the bags. I was seeing my doctor every week to be sure everything was fine. I also got a lot of the vitamin pills as it might help other women.  I thought about anything else from this century that might benefit my children and I bought paper, a few older primary books, and things like that.

 

I spent most of my time sewing, and working on my knitting. I had borrowed books from the hospital library to read and I returned them. The leather bags got packed and unpacked several more times trying to find the best way to make sure nothing broke and as it happened another bag was needed bringing my total to six. I was still shopping, picking up eighteenth century money and small pieces of plain silver that could be exchanged for money. Frank sent all of my personal things to the manse which surprisingly fit in 2 medium boxes. I decided to take all the jewelry and asked Violet to keep a few small sentimental things from my Uncle Lamb that I didn't think I could take.

I called Violet late the evening before the day I planned to travel back through the stones to confirm the early time for her to pick me up.  I offered to take a taxi but Violet wanted to take me.  That night I could hardly sleep, knowing I was going home! Finally, my 5 am alarm went off and I got up and got ready. I took a nice long shower to enjoy it for what was likely my last. I put on one of the dresses I made for myself and ate a pastry I'd bought for my last 1948 breakfast.

"I'm so sorry dear," Violet said as she pulled up as the sun was just peeking out and jumped out of the car. "Wee Roger was having a meltdown-"

I cut her off, "It's fine, really."  I smiled at the woman who was my friend.  "Please help me load up these bags then I have to check out." I said. I almost burst with excitement.

Chapter 2: Chapter 2 - Stones... Inverness... Claire goes home!

Summary:

Claire gets through the stones and surprises await.

Notes:

Disclaimer - Diana Gabaldon owns Outlander.

Edited - 05/10/2022 to correct grammatical errors and wrong usage of tense.

Edited - 12/22/2022 - To Clean up the story

edited - 06/03/2023 Edited for further clean up, lol

Chapter Text

Violet drove us to Craigh na Dun with wee Roger in the back playing with his cars.  A faint "Zoom, zoom" could be heard the whole way and I smiled because I realized I'd miss the young boy.  When we arrived I thought I would just run up the hill but instead I sat in the car looking up the hill and dreading the trip through.

 

I looked up the hill to the stones. "I forgot a jar of peanut butter." I said.

 

Roger reaches over the seat from the back and gives me a jar to my astonishment. "Where did you get this?" I asked.

 

"From home. I heard ye say we were going on a trip" He told me in a very matter of fact tone and goes back to playing with his cars.

 

I looked at Violet who was looking at Roger.

 

"Thank you Roger, that was very thoughtful of you." I said, and I smiled at the lad.  I looked back to Violet but the older woman shook her head and smiled.

 

Several minutes passed before we finally got out of the car.  It just felt so final. I stood with both arms wrapped around my giant middle and I imagined I held both my babies.  I said another prayer begging God to let us make it through safely.

 

"Roger, you stay here and we will be back." Violet told him from the car window.

 

It took both of us but we managed to get all 6 of the leather bags to the center of the circle. The pounding was so loud I had to come back down to speak to Violet.

 

"Can you please wrap this around me, around the babies?" I asked and held up a length of wool. It would be autumn there also, but I wanted to make sure I had enough to stay warm.  I was worried about how long it would take after I went through to be up and walking.  I looked at the car where Roger was looking at us. "He's such a sweet boy." I said.  

 

"Mmm hmm." Violet made that noise in her throat that all Scots know how to make. "When he's not covered in dirt." She finished wrapping me up and it felt good.

 

I knew the time had come and I looked at Violet with tears in my eyes. The woman had helped me so much. "Nope, no teary goodbyes dear. Just take care of yourself and those bairns." We  hugged each other tightly, my large belly in the middle. I put on my cloak I’d made and felt huge.

 

Another car turned off the main highway and parked next to Violet's car.

 

"That will be the Reverend, coming to stop you." Violet said and looked at me. She smiled. "Go! Go dear, I will keep him busy as long as possible." Violet said. 

 

I put my hand on Violet's shoulder briefly. We made eye contact, and I tried to put all my thanks in that look. Only Jamie and his family had cared for me like Violet had cared these past months. Then I turned and with one arm around my large baby bulge and the other holding up my dress and cloak I went up the hill.

 

I got to the top of the hill and my babies did flip flops on my liver again. “Just a few more moments my loves.” I said.  I’d made the trip here about once a month to be sure the babies had a reaction.  There was no question about them being sensitive to the stones and therefore it was likely they would be able to travel again.  They both showed a marked reaction that got worse as I got closer.

 

I got my arms through the handles of all 6 bags and looked down the hill one last time. The Reverend was coming up the hill and so was Roger. The child was yelling my name, to aid his father’s cause to stop me I suppose.  I turned to the middle stone and reached out my heavy arms laden with bags. I took a deep breath and stepped through focusing on Jenny and her family.

 

Through the swirling and the colorful images I was trying to say out loud "Jenny, Ian, wee Jamie. Maggie…" I just kept repeating their names. After I was almost sure my head would explode I landed on my back again, so at least the babies were safe. 

 

Darkness fell and all the creature noises that go with it started up and I finally stirred. I sat up and clutched my belly, feeling movement and I thanked God. Then I vomited. Twice. I managed to rouse myself and dragged my bags down the hill into thick brush. I kept pausing and listening to everything, but it was quiet except for natural noises.  I hoped I was at least close to the right time but I had no idea yet..   I laid out my blankets in the abandoned cabin, then I got some water to wash out my mouth.  I thought I would be awake for hours but I was exhausted and fell asleep right away.

 

I woke up to someone shaking me and calling my name. I thought I'd fallen asleep at work until I opened my eyes to see Roger.

 

"Roger?"  I said and looked around, remembering I went back through the stones.  "Roger! what are you doing here?" I asked.

 

"Miss Claire me Da was calling for ye so I went after ye, but I don't know where he is anymore." Roger looked like he was about to cry and I sat up and wrapped my arms around him.  

 

I didn’t know why but he must have traveled through the stones to me.  I looked him over to be sure he didn't obtain any injuries, but he seemed fine.

 

"When did you get here?" I asked the lad.

 

Roger looked at me oddly, "I was on that hill asleep, I just woke up." he said.

 

I looked at the door of the little cabin. "Roger, we are going to send you back to your Da." I told the lad.

 

Roger and I stood up and left the cabin.  We started up the hill and he said nothing but he looked very scared.  So I told him that a trip through the stones changes things, and it changed where he was so his Da wasn't here anymore.  He didn’t seem to understand but that was the best I could do.

 

My head still hurt and the sound of the stones didn't help. "Roger, just think about your Da and Mrs. Graham very much. They are probably still waiting for you." I told him.  I didn't feel good about sending him through alone but what choice did I have? I wasn't sure I would make it through again so soon. Plus the Reverend would try to keep me there.  Roger got to the big stone, and I nodded toward it smiling at him. Roger just stood there. "Put your hand on it and just start walking dear." Roger looked at me very oddly with those directions but he did it and promptly hit his head on the stones.

 

I was perplexed.

 

"Roger, do you hear the sounds that come from the stones?" I asked him.

 

He looked at me even more oddly now, "What sounds?" he asked.

 

I just stared at Roger, then the stones. Why could he come through after me but not on his own? I would have to keep him with me, that was the only possible solution. I wouldn't, couldn't go back through again.  I would at least need a little bit of time.

 

I wrote a short note about what happened to Roger and dug a little bit under a rock in the stones. I dated the note for when Violet and the Reverend were and I hoped that would be clear and maybe they wouldn’t worry so much. I told them we would be back to the stones in a day or two and would try again.

 

"Well Roger, you will have to stay with me for a few days, and then we will try again." Tears started to well up in his eyes and I took his hand, "You and I are on an adventure! We are in the past, and you need to observe everything you can, okay?" I asked him.

 

Roger wiped the tears that had fallen and nodded.  I hid my bags a little better but picked up the one with food and blankets. I adjusted Rogers clothing a bit so it would pass. Most children in this time go unnoticed so I didn't do much.

 

We walked for the rest of the day and sang and told stories. Roger forgot his sadness for the most part. When Inverness was practically in sight I decided to make camp and enter the town first thing in the morning.

 

I made a small fire, then  Roger and I ate peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. "Roger, what do you think about calling me Mother?" I asked him.

  

"That's fine." He said and continued eating.

 

I smiled at his easy acceptance, "It's only because if people don't think I'm your Mother they will wonder why we are traveling together and I don't want to have to answer questions." I explained.

 

"It's alright. No one will believe I came here through a rock. I understand. No one believed you and they called you a fairy." He smiled at me, wiped his hands on his pants, kissed my cheek and lay down.

 

I finished my sandwich, rinsed out my mouth and lay down next to him.  I pulled up our blankets and we went to sleep.

 

In Inverness

The next morning we made it into Inverness early. I bought vegetable and meat pies for Roger and myself to eat and put the extra ones in my pack.  Then we made our way to the stables to inquire about a mule. Roger had a tight hold on my hand but was wide eyed to take everything in.

 

We were at the stables waiting in line. The man currently being helped finished his inquiry of a missing horse and the next man stepped up to ask about what horses were for sale. That voice...so familiar. I peeked around the person in front of us. . He had one wooden leg! It was Ian! I got a little dizzy with excitement then tried to calm myself. I thought about the wisdom of calling out, but anxiously waited for him to finish his business then followed him out into the morning light with Roger tightly by my side.

 

"Ian" I called after him and followed him a bit, then called his name again.

 

Ian turned around looking in the crowd and finally spotted us, "Claire?"  He said my name slowly and his eyes were wide with surprise.

 

"Yes," I was nodding briskly, "It's me."  I smiled widely at seeing him.

 

Ian just stood there looking at us then shook his head laughing and came in for a hug.

 

"Let me look at you lass," Ian stepped back and looked at Roger and myself.

 

"Wow, when is the bairn coming?” He asked me.

 

"In about a month or so." I said and was still smiling, so happy to see family so soon after coming through the stones.

 

"And who's the lad?" Ian was looking at Roger with a smile but the boy was cowering behind me.

 

"His name is Roger and he is with me for a time."  I was still smiling, hoping he didn't ask too many questions.

 

Ian leaned in and asked quietly, "Did he come through the stones with ye lass, or is he from now?"

 

I stared at him astonished, "Wh-what?" I asked, surprised.

 

"Jamie told Jenny and me, oh Jamie, we have to get you to the inn." Ian moved to take my hand but I got dizzy and started to fall back.

 

***Jamie's POV

I was shabbily dressed but most people were dressed poorly so I blended in just fine. I was in hiding, and was supposed to stay at the Inn. It was Monday though, and there were no red coats in Inverness to be seen.

 

Ian came out of the stable and there was an image of Claire following him out.

 

You haunt me even away from home Sassenach , I thought to myself. She was very much with child and with a lad, a new torment my dear . Then I saw her speak and I stood up straight.  She never spoke in my visions.

 

Ian turned around and spoke to her. IAN SPOKE TO HER! Maybe it wasn't really Claire, just a woman who looked like her. I walked down the road a bit as they talked to get closer.  I saw Ian hug her and called her Claire! Is this a cruel joke?   The shock was growing but I saw her grow white and she wavered, it looked like she was going to faint. I ran forward and swept her in my arms

 

"Is ..Jamie.. Alive?" Claire whispered.

 

"Aye mo nighean donn, mo maise," I picked her up and answered her whispered question right before she fainted.

 

Ian picked up the lad and together we went swiftly to the Inn where we were staying in a small shed outside.

 

"How is she here?" I asked as I looked at Ian who still looked shocked.

 

"I can't believe you think I know!" Ian was shaking his head but started talking to the lad.

 

"Will she be okay?" The lad asked in a small voice and I looked at Ian who shrugged his shoulders.

 

I had put her down in one of the two small beds and took a wet cloth to her forehead. I kept looking at her, every bit I could see to assure myself this was my wife.  I was holding and patting one of her hands. "Claire, Claire…" I kept repeating her name slowly and finally she came to.

 

"Jamie" I smiled as the first thing she said, before sitting up, before opening her eyes, was my name.

 

She sat up and looked around with surprise, then I could see the memories flooding her brain about where she was, then looked at me sharply. "How are you alive?" She asked.

 

"Is that no why ye're here?" I asked and smiled at her. She was so beautiful, and so heavy with my child and pride swelled in my chest. It looked like it would be very big and I grew concerned.

 

"Well, yes, no- I didn't know you were alive. I came back to raise your children at home, at Lallybroch." Claire was looking at me like I was a ghost, she kept touching me, my neck, my shoulder, my hands. She was assuring herself it was me, just like I did with her.

 

Ian had made fast friends with Roger and he offered to take him outside.

 

"Thank you Ian, he is very curious- wait" Claire said and reached in her pocket and pulled out a handful of coins which had Ian and myself looking at her with raised eyebrows.

 

"I brought a bunch of bags with me and I was going to get a mule to carry everything to Lallybroch. I thought I might have enough to convince you and Jenny to take me in." Claire said. 

 

Ian looked at the many coins in her hand, "That's very nice lass, but ye didna need to bring us coins to take ye in, ye are family., ye and your Roger lad" he said.  

 

Claire looked at Ian and blinked back her tears. "Uh, will you please see about getting Roger a proper coat?" She asked as a tear fell down her cheek.

 

Roger perked up for the first time at this, "Oh, yes please sir, Mama got rid of my coat because she said it was too modern. I have been walking with blankets." He said.

 

Ian took a few coins, then Claire dumped all of them in his hand.  Ian and I both looked at her sharply when Roger called her Mama.

 

"I told him to call me that, I thought it would be easier." Claire said and looked back at Ian and I.  

 

"And candy? Is there candy here?" Roger asked hopefully.

 

"Yes, there is candy here, and 1 piece." Claire said and Roger smiled as he ducked out the door with Ian.

 

*****Claire POV

I settled myself and looked into Jamie's eyes.

 

"How are you alive?" I asked Jamie.

 

Jamie shook his head a little, trying to clear it. "I tried to die. After you left I went to Culloden and fought, planning to die." He told me the story of living for a full day on that battlefield lodged under Black Jack Randell, then a kinsman found him but they were discovered by the red coats. How he was supposed to be shot, but was spared and sent home to die because of John Gray. Jenny wouldn't allow him to die in peace so here he was, alive and a wanted man all over again.

 

"John Grey?" I asked.  The name sounded familiar but I couldn't place it and Jamie was telling me the story.  I smiled at the memory.

 

"Now you, you tell me how you are here today." Jamie looked at me and waited.  “Why did ye no have the bairn in yer time, ye said it was safer.” Jamie asked me. He had my hands in his and was going over the J. I felt the C on his hand.

 

My eyes were wide and my mouth opened, then closed. I blinked, swallowed and started, "I went back, like I said I would," I added. Was he mad at me? "It was hard, being alone. I divorced Frank, and lived by myself." I said.

 

"Divorced?" Jamie asked, surprised. "What is that Sassenach?" I swallowed at hearing him call me Sassenach again.

 

"It's when you dissolve a marriage legally." I said and Jamie nodded.   I explained further, "I couldn't, I just couldn't go back to him.  I'm sorry, but I didn't go back to Frank." I said and I told him my story of working half days at the hospital and living in a hotel.  I told him about sewing clothes and buying old coins and cloth.  I told him about the doctor I saw and about the Druids and how they helped me and how all I wanted was to come back so our children would be raised at Lallybroch.

 

Jamie had kept mostly quiet during my story as I had for him. But then he said, "And the wee lad?" He asked and smiled at me.

 

"Wh-what? Oh, Roger, he is the nephew of the Reverend my friend Violet worked for. She drove me to the stones, but the Reverend showed up to stop me, for Frank's sake." I explained when he raised his eyebrows.  "The Reverend was running up the hill calling my name when I went through. Roger was running up the hill with him calling my name also and Roger ended up coming through the stones but the Reverend did not. I tried to send him back but he can't hear them anymore. I didn't try to take him." I looked down, feeling like a coward. "It is getting harder each time I go through I think. I was afraid to take him back and get so sick I couldn't return to this time." I explained.

 

Jamie squeezed my hand and put his hand under my chin, "Claire, you did the best you could. You have enough courage for 3 women." He smiled and kissed me lightly, but slowly on the lips. "Tell me about doctor visits, the bairn seems...big." He was holding my hands and looking at the swell of my middle.

 

"Bairns." I corrected "

 

"What?" Jamie asked, looking confused.

 

"Babies. I am going to have twins." I said and looked at him in the way all women look when they have that blessed secret of a child.

 

"Oh, mo cridhe" Jamie got to his knees in front of me and put his arms around my big waist and kissed me, talking to the babies in the Gaelic. I tried to blink the tears back but they fell and Jamie noticed and stood up. He was crying too. "My wife comes back to me and brings me not one but 2 bairns, why are you the one crying lass?" He asked.

 

"Because I am so happy you are alive!"  I hugged him and it was awkward because of the swell of my middle but we muddled through.

 

After another hour of talking and making plans Ian and Roger came back.

 

"Look at my new coat" Roger turned this way and that to model the coat. "I like this one better than my old coat." He smiled at them showing bright red lips and red tinted candy coated teeth.

 

After a half hour of Jamie and Ian talking and making plans for their return to Lallybroch I decided to sit at their makeshift table and took out the jar of peanut butter Roger had given me, the jar of jelly and the bread I had brought.  I took out the silver knife I'd packed and started making sandwiches.

 

Roger wandered over and I gave him one and one of the meat and vegetable pies. I turned to offer a sandwich to Ian and Jamie and found them staring at me with their eyes wide.

 

"It's a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Do you want one?" I held out a sandwich to each man. They took them with obvious reserve.

 

Jamie was the first to bite into it and Ian waited for any adverse effects. "Dinna fash, this is good" Jamie said and took another bite.

 

"We thought you were no a cook, Sister Claire, this is very good" Ian smiled at me and took another bite. Roger giggled. I was happy to be called sister.

 

"What?" Jamie ruffled the boy's head of dark curls. He could easily pass for Claire's son.

 

"You don't cook it. You buy the stuff and make it." Roger smiled at Jamie

 

"Hmm, well, it's good all the same." Jamie said and smiled back at Roger.

 

Ian and Roger went back out to buy more meat pies for us and we ate dinner and talked about how everything had been going since Culloden.  Much of it was sad, but expected.

 

Sleeping arrangements were made.  Roger and I would sleep in Jamie's bed and he would sleep on the floor. He was going to use my blanket roll from my pack since it was nicer than his.  

 

"I hate to make you sleep on the floor." I said and looked at the small bed and realized Jamie was too tall for it anyway.

 

"My wife is no sleeping on the floor while I have a bed. Plus the lad would be more comfortable with you." Jamie said and started arranging his blankets.

 

"I could just get another room." Ian said as he was looking at the coins he’d left on the table and picking up a few.

 

"It's fine, we will stay here together. I'm a wanted man, if Claire or the lad needs something we need ye here to help." Jamie said and Ian nodded.

 

We spent the night that way: Ian slept peacefully through the night, I slept fitfully, tossing and turning unable to stay comfortable knowing my husband was just a few feet away.  Roger grew impatient with me and went to sleep with Jamie, and Jamie hardly slept at all.  Every time I looked at him he was looking at me.

 

When I woke Ian and Roger were gone.

 

"Roger is safe, he is with Ian procuring us more animals and a wagon if one is to be found." Jamie said and sat next to me on the bed.

 

We held hands and just looked at each other.  I began to get the warm feeling that only Jamie gave me.

 

"Jamie, " I said and paused.  I put my hands over my middle, "We really shouldn't because of the-"

 

"I ken Sassenach, it's alright.  I am vere happy ta just to look at my wife."  I smiled at his words and tried to lean up to kiss him.

 

"Hold on, I will come to you." Jamie leaned over and kissed me.  A soft, sweet kiss that wrapped itself around my heart.

 

"Ye might get dressed, they will be back soon." Jamie said.  It was another minute before he let go of me.   

 

I saw the fresh water in the basin, and got up to wash and dress.  Jamie saw the bulge of his children through my shift and touched me, and spoke to his children.

 

We left Inverness that day. Because of the money I’d given Ian two strong oxen were purchased and two horses instead of one and a wagon. Since they had the wagon I insisted on tea and sugar and other household staples they were likely low on at Lallybroch. I also picked up a few small items I thought Jenny would appreciate.  We bought all the meat pies we could find to eat on the way home.

 

Roger, Ian, Jamie and myself left in the early afternoon. Two large oxen pulled a smart looking wagon and a horse was tied behind the wagon. Ian and I were sitting in front of the wagon while Jamie and Roger were riding on the second horse. Roger looked like he was having the time of his life. Jamie kept looking at the wagon to check on me. Every time he looked, I was staring at him.

 

I looked Jamie over.  He was thin, like Ian was, likely from too many sparse meals. He had shadows under his eyes and I couldn't wait to hold him to me and force everything bad away.

 

We got to Craigh na dun by dusk. It was a lot quicker in the wagon than on foot.

 

Jamie and Ian made faces at each other when they saw the bags I had stashed in the woods.

 

"You will be glad I brought all of this later," I said to defend myself.

 

“If ye say so my good sister, but we already have another food order made and ham and beef in the wagon” Ian said.  I didn’t answer.  I knew I would feed them all up as much as I could.

 

After all the bags were loaded Roger said his goodbyes.  He enjoyed his time but he wanted his Da.

 

I gave him a bracelet that had a gemstone on it to make the trip a little easier. "Keep that on, I think it will help with going through the stones." He nodded his little head and patted the bracelet. "When we get up there, think about your Da, the Reverend, think about him hard, imagine seeing him walking in your house.  Think about Mrs. Graham in the kitchen." Roger nodded and set his face in a look of concentration.

 

"Aye, I will." His face was set in a hard line of concentration and I kissed his forehead.

 

"You're a braw lad, your Da will be verre happy to see ye." Jamie said. 

 

Roger and I walked up to the stones and Ian and Jamie followed a few steps behind us. As soon as Roger and I got close to the middle stone, the traveling stone, Roger looked at me. "I hear my Da!" he shouted.  He had a hold of my hand and he waved it in happiness.

 

"Da!" He yelled, and looked at me, "My Da is yelling for me." He took a step into the stone still holding my hand.

 

***Jamie's POV

"Claire!" I  yelled and lunged for her as I saw her arm disappear. I  had my arms around her breasts and I was trying to pull her head and right arm back. "Ian, help me!"

 

Ian was looking with wide eyed astonishment. It wasn't that he didn't believe Jamie when he told them about Claire going through the stones, but seeing it was another thing entirely. Ian shook himself and wedged his body against the stone and held onto Claire's legs so they wouldn't walk through the stones.

 

A minute passed, and still Ian held her legs and I had Claire's upper body. I was yelling her name and telling her to come back. I saw the babies moving in her belly through her dress and was astonished at the amount of movement and that I could see it.

 

"Claire, come back to me Claire, Sassenach, mo cride, come back!" I yelled in my desperation. 

 

Finally, finally, Claire withdrew her arm and head from the stone and fell into my arms.

 

"Claire, wake up, Claire" I said but she wouldna wake. 

 

I was worried about being in the open during daylight and after I’d been yelling.  I carried her down the hill and laid her in the wagon. I tried to wake her again, to no avail. I thanked God when I saw the movement still in her belly.

 

"She's no awake yet, but the bairns look fine, like they are running." I told Ian, then answered his unspoken question. "Let's keep moving, it's not safe to stay in one place." Ian nodded, then got my horse tied to the back of the wagon and together Ian and I set up the big cloth so there would be some covering in the wagon.

 

I rode in the back of the wagon at Claire's side and Ian drove till it was dark, then fed and watered the oxen and the horses, unhitching them for the night.

 

All three of us slept in the wagon, Ian on top of the bags of goods and I curled himself around Claire. I was so scared I might have gotten her back to lose her again I could hardly sleep.  I dozed off several times because I was tired. I stayed awake last night staring at my wife and thanking God he brought her back to me. Now I was afraid she was gone.

 

Ian was up before the sun and on his way to the creek for water. I was still trying to wake Claire. When he got back I was out of the wagon muttering and punching a tree.

 

"Claire would think ye mighty funny." Ian said.

 

"She'll no wake Ian." I kicked a rock but was immediately sorry. Claire would know what to do, I felt so useless. Maybe if we got her home to Jenny she would know what to do with Claire.

 

"She has time still, the bairns are still moving and you did say the passage through the stones is hard." Ian said, he was trying to find reasons to keep hope.

 

I took a deep breath. God would nae allow her back to leave so soon. "Aye" was all I said and jumped back in the wagon to hand out dried meat and a bannock to Ian who hopped up front and started the wagon moving.

 

Several hours later the bairns weren't moving so much and I was shaking Claire's shoulders begging her to wake up with tears running down my cheeks.  Ian had asked me if I wanted to pull off but I knew it wasn’t safe and told Ian to keep going.

 

"Stooooop." Claire moaned, and made the face that meant she was nauseous. 

 

I stopped shaking her about to jump for joy that she spoke.  Claire opened her eyes and held her head. " I hate those damned bloody stones right now." She said.

 

"Oh thank ye God" I was laughing and touching Claire's cheek.  "I don't, they brought ye to me." I told her.

 

Ian let out a whooping noise when he looked back and saw Claire awake.

 

She looked up at me then around the wagon. Claire started to sit up and touch me but quickly changed her mind putting her head out the back to vomit.

 

I held her hair back and sat behind her so she could lean on me. "Sassenach, ye were out for the whole night." I told her.

 

"It's the stones, I think I need more time before going through again." She said as she leaned back on me.

 

"Ye didn't go all the way through this time, just your head and an arm, Did the lad make it home?" I asked as I wrapped my arms around her middle, around my bairns. 

 

"He did. The Reverend was very happy to see him but was rather alarmed at seeing us come through the stones. I don't think he believed it was true. He does now." Claire smiled at the memory of seeing Roger hug his wide eyed, open mouthed Father.

 

Claire was relaxing now in my arms, I could feel it.. "I'm so big now." Claire said. It wasn't a question but I saw the need for reassurance.

 

"Sassenach," I had my mouth right next to her ear, "Ye are more beautiful now than ever before." I put my arms completely around Claire's large middle. "These are our bairns, ye are growing life in yerself and ye are radiant." I told her.

 

Claire put her arms on top of mine, "As much as I want to stay like this forever I need water and food." I smiled and kissed her ear. Then moved to allow her to get her container of water.

 

I waited until she rinsed and spit a few times then asked, "What is that?" I asked and picked up her water holder to look at it closer.

 

"It's the best I could find that would fit in at this time. It's really meant to hold wine. You think it looks odd?" Claire asked and looked at it again.

 

"As long as nae one sees it up close." I said and moved to put it back in her food bag but she already had a hold of the bag and started eating cheese and a big hunk of bread which she split with me.

 

"Do you want some cheese?" Claire smiled at me, and I thanked God again for bringing her through the stones.

 

"Aye" I said and smiled.  I took the offered food, and told her about Ian holding her feet and me holding her chest and other arm trying not to let her go through the stones.

 

"I don't remember most of it. I think we were unconscious for just a minute. On the other side, the Reverend threw water to wake us up, he was really shocked. It was worth it though, Roger was very happy to see his Father." Claire said and smiled.  This woman was going to make an excellent Mother, I thought to myself.

 

"He sounds like a good lad." I said. I was eating part of what was called a summer sausage apparently and it was delicious. I was inwardly yelling at myself, why didn't I think of water?

 

"Jamie! Redcoats, get ready to jump." Ian yelled from the front.

 

I got my threadbare coat on and moved to the back of the wagon.

 

"What-" Claire had started to ask but I cut her off.

 

"Later. Cover everything up and lay down like ye are unwell" I said.  Then I  jumped as soon as Ian yelled again. They were going around a bend.

 

Claire quickly covered everything up and laid down covering as much space as possible.

 

"Whoa there" A cultured English voice said.

 

Ian stopped the wagon and the horses protested. "Good Day to ye" Ian said.

 

"What's in the wagon?" A less cultured voice answered

 

"Me sister, she is ill and far gone with bairn." Ian didn't sound anywhere near as nervous as he felt. Especially as he saw one of the redcoats in the group start to walk around to the back of the wagon. "Be careful sir, me sister is not well."

 

As if on cue Claire started coughing and almost moaned, "Ian, why have we stopped? I think I'm going to vomit, do you have the bucket?" She said and groaned.

 

The redcoat that was going to the back of the wagon to look in, backed slowly toward his fellows. "Do you have any weapons?" he asked.

 

"No sir, absolutely not." Ian couldn't imagine Clare bringing any weapons. She would bring medicines and potions.

 

"Walk on." The cultured voice in charge yelled and Ian got the oxen going to move on towards home.

 

I put my dirk back. I’d been waiting for the redcoat to look at my wife and try anything. But as always, Clare was smart. I smiled as I heard her coughing. No one would touch someone ill, especially now. I moved back in the brush as the redcoat came back to the front.

 

I followed them in the brush for about an hour, then heard Ian's "Jamie, it's safe." In about 5 seconds I was back in the wagon.

 

Two more nights passed. They were blessedly uneventful and no more red coats were seen.  Claire and I slept together in the wagon while Ian slept near the small fire he made nightly after the first night in the wagon. I slept with my arms around my wife and we and talked all day long about things that had happened while we were separated.

 

About midday on the 4th day Ian stopped the wagon and went to the back calling for Claire. "We are almost home, do ye want to ride up front to see everything?"

 

Claire called from the front where she had slowly squirmed herself onto the seat, "Absolutely!"

 

Ian laughed and came back up front and drove us home while I was standing in the wagon.

 

Mrs. Crook was hanging laundry but when she saw the unfamiliar wagon she ran for Jenny.

 

"Och, aye, I will take care of it, take the bairns." Jenny was at the door with one baby in her arms and one holding onto a leg.

 

"Aye Mistress" Mrs. Crook took the children in and tried to settle their disagreeableness about being pulled off their Mam.

 

Jenny straightened herself and then stood tall waiting. She squinted, could it be?

 

"Ian!?" Jenny ran to the wagon just coming through the arch.

 

Ian put the brake on and got down to embrace his wife.

 

"Who did ye bring wit ye?" Jenny pulled out of the hug and looked around her husband's shoulder to see Claire, "Oh, Saints be praised, Claire!" Jenny moved to the other side of the wagon and started to help her down until I came around the back of the wagon and picked my wife up to get her out of the wagon. When I had her on the ground I paused, feeling her extra weight and an urge of pride came over me.  She held two of my bairns below her heart.

 

"Put her down ye clout heid" Jenny hit me on the shoulder jokingly.

 

I took my time about it but I set Claire down and Jenny hugged her.

 

"Oh, how long do ye have?" Jenny put her arms around Claire's middle. After a moment her eyebrows went up, "Do you have…"

 

"Twins, yes" Claire confirmed it and smiled, holding Jenny's hands.

 

"Oh, St. Bride, preserve you." Jenny said and looked worried.

 

"It's okay, everything will be fine, and about a month I think." Claire said and I could see she was not as sure about what she said.  

 

I came behind Claire and put my hand on her shoulder, "Me own bairns sister." I said with pride.

 

"Are ye okay?" Jenny looked worried, "No problem with the stones?" She got closer and asked in a low voice.

 

"Well, let's get inside and I will tell you the whole story." Claire said and smiled at Jenny.  She seemed so glad to be here.  I was very thankful she was home.

 

We were inside but Jenny stopped when she saw the back of the wagon being emptied; cotton, wool, wheat, tea, coffee, silk, flax and bags of sugar.

 

"Ian, where did all this come from?" Jenny looked happy about the goods but worried. "Where did ye find the coin?" She asked.

 

"I'm going to let Claire answer that." He said and wisely left to get something to eat.

 

"I brought a lot of coin and I'd hoped it would be enough for you and Ian to take me in-" Claire started to say.

 

"Posh, ye family Claire, where else do ye belong but with ye family?" Jenny looked almost upset at Claire's questioning her.

 

Claire smiled, "Ian reminded me of this so we bought goods that might be needed." Claire reached in her pocket, ready for it…

 

"Ye might have saved some-" Jenny stopped as Claire opened Jenny's hands and poured coins in them from her pockets.

 

"I see, so we're in better shape, aye," Jenny said and looked at Claire, dropped all the coins to the ground and they both laughed and hugged each other.

 

A long while later that day, after Mrs. Crook had made them a marvelous dinner; they celebrated Claire's return with a cake that the young ones enjoyed immensely. The four adults had talked all day and Claire told everyone about the Inverness of the twentieth century. She talked about living by herself at the hotel just waiting till she could come back. She talked about feeling lonely and talking to the bairns all day.

 

Jenny was listening, sitting by the fire with her mending basket at her feet, "Claire, sister, ye were never alone, yer family were here, praying for ye safety.” Jenny said.

 

Claire and I were sitting comfortably together, but at this she sat up and took one of Jenny's hands and looked at her, "I'm so glad to be here." Claire said.

 

Jenny smiled, and almost teared up, but stood up, in commander mode.

 

"Aight, we need to hide yon special goods in the priest hole." Jamie knew it was right but he hated to share the space. "Sister, do ye need anything?" Jenny looked at Claire again.

 

"No Jenny, thank you. Just a few blankets and a flat surface." Claire yawned, covering her mouth.

 

"Off to bed then, I've had the servants make up the room by the priest hole, I thought it would be convenient just in case." Jenny nodded to Claire and myself.  She waited looking to see if I would go back to the cave.

 

"Thank ye" I said and went to help Ian move the new goods to the priest hole and Jenny led Claire to the room she'd indicated.  "This will do just fine."  I nodded at my sister, silently asking her not to bring up the cave yet as I'd not told Claire about it.

 

 Ian and I went outside to do a last check on the animals.

 

Claire washed and put on her heavier nightdress. I came in to see her digging in one of the bags. I just watched her, so happy to have her with me and so proud to see her heavy with my children.

 

"Yes!" Claire pulled out the peanut butter jar and got up to sit on the bed but froze when she saw me.

 

I walked the rest of the way in, closed the door and pulled my shirt off, "And what is yon prize?" I asked her.

 

Claire sat on the bed and watched me take off clothes, "Peanut butter." She was still watching me as she opened the jar, put one finger in scooping up a fair amount and stuck it in her mouth and made sucking noises. I stopped undressing and looked at her.

 

"What?" Claire's mouth was mostly stuck together and she giggled.

 

"Oh, my Sassenach, ye are so lovely." I smiled, thinking I might break from happiness.

 

"Sitting here sucking on peanut butter?" Claire asked, now licking her fingers.

 

I turned around and looked out the window.

 

"So lovely you can't look at me?" Claire was watching me look at everything but her. She went and rinsed her peanut butter hand and cleaned her teeth.

 

She turned around from the water basin and saw me naked and, well, ready for a lot more than she was ready for.  "I'm sorry but I canna look at ye without wanting ye." I said.

 

"Oh Jamie" It was a whisper, but a sound that echoed in my heart and I kent that she wanted me as much as I, rather apparently, wanted her.

 

"I ken, ye are too far gone with our bairns for it to be safe. But come to bed and let me touch ye, hold ye." I sat down and patted the other side of the bed. She sat down and I ran my hands along her nightdress, "This is lovely'" I said and brought it over her head and sat it on the night table. "But ye are more lovely." We were face to face and I propped pillows up for Claire to lay against while I rubbed her feet, then her calves and knees.

 

She was squirming quite a bit and I watched her face, to see if she wanted me to use my fingers on her honeypot to relieve her need.

 

Claire nodded, and simply said, “Please.”  I satisfied my wife the best I could without entering her.  She fell asleep right after and I laid next to her and held her close.  I was so happy just to hold her, and not be up in that cold cave, missing her and being alone. 

 

I woke up a few hours later to her touching my cock.  “Claire, ye dinna have to-” I was going to say but she cut me off.

 

“I want to, I’m sorry I fell asleep.” She said but I could see she was getting out of breath.

 

"No, ye are nae allowed to be sorry for anything. We will do what we need to for the safety of ye and the bairns. I am alive and holding my wife who is carrying me’ children. I am perfect." I kissed her on the top of the head and kissed the hand that had been on my cock.  She started to cry and I arranged myself next to her and held her. I rubbed her stomach where I could feel my bairns and Claire was asleep in a few minutes.

 

The next morning I was up before Claire and I sent one of the farmhands to get Fergus back home.  Claire had asked me about him several times already.  He was on a scouting mission for me and had left 2 days before Ian I left for Inverness. 

 

I heard them before I saw them and ran back to the house.

 

I ran to the kitchen and interrupted Claire and Jenny talking by telling them "Riders coming." Jenny and I ran to the priest hole and I got in while Jenny shut the door and covered it.  

 

"Where are all those bags ye brought?" Jenny was walking around the kitchen putting away anything that looked valuable.

 

"I'll go hide them." Claire got up and went to her and Jamie's room to deal with them. She was folding the last bag into a full drawer when she heard Jenny say she was going outside. Claire gave up and put the bag behind the bed.

Chapter 3: Riders

Summary:

The riders arrive, and a crush develops.

Notes:

Diana Gabaldon owns Outlander.

I apologize for the delay of this chapter. I was trying to improve my punctuation and the tense changing. I'm not sure I did improve it, so if it bothers you I understand if you don't want to continue reading this story.

Thank you to all my readers!

Edited 12/22/2022

edited 06/03/2023

Chapter Text

Chapter Three

Claire took a few steps out of her room and paused. Whoever the riders were, if they came in the house Jenny would have to introduce her. She had initially considered staying in the kitchen, but if she lay on the bed and pretended to be sleeping it might give Jenny a minute or two of privacy to tell her about the riders. Claire promptly turned around and went back to her room. She slipped off her leather shoes and lay down in bed pulling a blanket over her. She was trying to keep calm. Several minutes later she heard Jenny’s voice and Claire waited for Jenny to come to her.

 

Minutes passed...5, 20, 1000? Claire thought.

 

Finally Jenny came through the bedroom door. “Hi Sister, how are you feeling?” Jenny’s false voice came to Claire and she sat up quickly.

 

“Claire, they are only neighbors, not redcoats but they are for the English. They had word of a wagon and are looking for Jamie.” Jenny whispered, and looked disgusted. She turned her head and Claire thought she was going to spit but Jenny only muttered “Traitors” under her breath.

 

“How should I act?” Claire was up and ready. Jenny took a look around the room, deep in thought. Claire made motions with her hands. “What should I do?” She whispered urgently.

 

“Do ye have anything black? A shawl -” Jenny cut herself off after Claire grabbed her black shawl she already had on the bed. “Wrap it around yer shoulders an’ pretend to be in mourning. If they bring Jamie up, act distressed and excuse yerself to rest. It’s two men and a breeding women usually make them uncomfortable.” Jenny helped Claire tie off her shawl and they walked hand in hand to the parlor.

 

“Madam Murray, oh” The younger man looked at Claire in surprise. Claire made a curtsy as best she could and the two men made motions to dismiss her and waved at a chair. “I apologize for interrupting your rest Madam Fraser.” The younger man bowed to her and Claire nodded.

 

Jenny introduced the 4th Earl of Seafield and his son. They were both outfitted in what was likely current English high fashion but to Claire they looked like dandy’s. Claire wanted to appear calm but her heart was pounding out of her chest.

 

“Where have you been Madam Fraser? I understand you recently came home?” Viscount Seafield said and then sat close to Claire.

 

Jenny spoke up “Claire went to France when she couldn’t persuade my Brother to leave the Jacobite cause. Was it right before Culloden?”

 

“Yes, actually right before.” Claire said and looked at Viscount Seafield wondering why he was so close to her.

 

“An Englishwoman!” Viscount Seafield kissed her hand and Claire tried not to flinch. “I’d heard Jamie Fraser had married an Englishwoman, how delightful! Why didn’t you go back to your family?” He asked.

 

“She is with her family.” Jenny stated firmly.

 

“Of course she is.” The Earl added after a too long pause.

 

Polite conversation ensued concerning generalities in France, but the Claire caught the Viscount staring at her.

 

“Why the black? Are you mourning your Jacobite husband?” Viscount Seafield picked up a bit of her shawl and rubbed it between his fingers.

 

“He’s gone, so yes I am mourning him regardless of his views. It's only proper.” She looked down, just wanting them to leave but trying to sound patient.

 

“When is the happy event to be?” Viscount Seafield nodded to Claire’s middle.

 

“The sooner the better hey?” The Earl said and looked at Jenny and she gave a forced smile. “That is what my wife always said when she was carrying our children.” The Earl smiled back at Jenny but anyone could see it was an awkward subject for him.

 

Viscount Seafield was still staring at Claire when she turned to him and then looked to the Earl, “Please excuse me. Carrying two babies is difficult and I tire easily. I wish to return to my rest” 

 

“Of course, of course. Uh, did you say two babies? Are you having twins?” The Viscount asked. He was looking like a tasty dish had just been served.

 

“Yes, I am carrying twins.” Claire got up with some effort and was going to leave when the Viscount caught her hand and kissed it again.

 

“How enticing, Madam Fraser you must allow me to call on you when your mourning period is over. A lovely English rose such as yourself should not be alone long.” He still had her hand and Claire tried not to look as angry as she felt when she realized his intentions.

 

“Of course,” Jenny added, acting like it would be a great honor. “But sir you must wait till spring so she is fully recovered.” Jenny got up to walk with Claire but the Viscount put Claire’s arm through his arm.

 

“I insist that I be the one to escort you to your room.” The Viscount was acting like he was at court with this gesture.

 

Jenny smiled again and looked back to the Earl who was looking at his waistcoat.

 

Claire lowered her eyes and she tried with a modicum of success to look calm. The Viscount walked her back in the direction she had come talking to her the whole time of himself. Claire did pay more attention when he offered to send a servant of his home to her.

 

“Sir, I assure you that is not necessary.” Absolutely not, she would not have someone in the house who would report their movements back to him.  Jamie could never come out of the priest hole!

 

“You must allow me to do something, putting you in this room seems like a crime. Where are your flowers? Where are your pictures? What is that smell?” He walked further into the room. “It smells… earthy.” He was still looking round.

 

Claire walked toward him and tried to get his attention. “How clever you must be.” She put a smile on her face, “I am a healer so I often smell like herbs.” Claire put a light hand on his back and tried to get him out of the room.

 

“What is that? Does your bed double as storage?” The Viscount walked to the bag she had put behind the bed.

 

What the bloody hell was in that bag Beauchamp?! Think!

 

“Of course not Viscount, that is only a bag of cloth I brought with me to make clothes.” Claire stepped in front of him.

 

“Why are you making anything? Don’t you have a maid?” He asked. The Viscount seemed a little put out at the idea of Claire sewing. Claire thought quickly about what might put him out of her room.

 

“Sir, you are asking private questions that are making me uncomfortable.” Claire looked down again and hoped she appeared embarrassed.

 

“I believe I have made you blush.” The Viscount touched her cheek and Claire had to stop herself from kicking him.

 

“I will leave you so you may rest. Please send a note when you have had your children so I may time my next visit properly.” He kissed her hand and left the room. Claire stood there for a few moments being grateful he was gone.

 

She washed her hands in the freshwater basin and rubbed her cheek. "Yes, I will let you time your next visit properly, right after I am dead you disgusting dandy man."  Jenny laughed from the door and Claire looked up in surprise.

 

“You were muttering Sister, and I heard every word.” Jenny said and laughed a little more.

 

“Are they gone?” Claire said, hoping they were gone.

 

“Yes, they left after the Viscount came back. We will let Jamie out in a little bit, just to be sure they don’t come back.” Jenny came into the room and they talked over the visit.

 

“It’s good the Viscount liked you because they might persuade anyone who still thinks we are hiding Jamie to look elsewhere for him.” Jenny was sitting on the bed talking with Claire.

 

“That would be good, he might spend less time in the priest hole.” Claire wondered just how much time he spent there.

 

“Better than the cave.” Jenny almost bit her tongue as soon as the words were out of her mouth.

 

“What cave?” Claire asked and looked at Jenny who was silent. “Jenny, please.”

 

“Fine, I will tell ye.” Jenny took a deep breath. “When Jamie came home he was near dead mind ye, but I refused to lose him too. When he became well we were over the moon that he lived. The cut on his leg was terrible ye see. He initially told us ye were gone, and we mourned ye Sister, but at least we had Jamie. His sadness though...it was so thick sometimes ye could not be in the same room with him because ye couldna breath. He thought he could nae be with people and he didna want to risk us, so he found an uaimh, a cave, and was livin in it.” Jenny was looking in the distance remembering those hard months.

 

“Jamie lived in a cave, like an animal?” Claire sounded almost angry.

 

“Aye. He would come down about once every month. He shaved and supped with us. If he caught food he could share, it was always on the step at first light, but he would be gone.” Jenny was mentally comparing Jamie with Claire to Jamie without Claire.  "Fergus visited him every few days though, he saw Jamie the most." Jenny said.

 

“Do you feel safe if he is in the house?” Claire looked at Jenny and hoped for a yes.

 

“No, but it is better than having him in the cave.” Jenny looked down and wanted to change the subject to talk about happy things

 

“Show me the clothes you have ready for my nieces or nephews.” Jenny said.

 

Jenny looked to Claire and she nodded to the bag sitting by the bed. “Dump that out on the bed.” Claire instructed while she moved further towards the pillows.

 

Jenny picked up the bag and dumped it out, “Claire, I had no idea ye had so much ready.” They both looked at the pile on the bed. “Let's go through this.”

 

An hour and a half later Mrs. Crook came to the door and told Jenny lunch was almost ready.

 

The baby clothes were sorted from what Claire had made for Fergus and Jenny was impressed which made Claire privately proud. “Jamie is going to have to make the bairns a dresser. For now we can put the clothes on the table in the dressing room.” Jenny stood up with a stack.

 

“Dressing room?” Claire looked around.

 

Jenny smiled and opened the door that you could only see when you knew what to look for,  “It’s right here.” Jenny said.

 

Claire took another stack and went through the opened door. “This is a big dressing room!”

 

“Aye, it’s a guest bedroom so I think the dressing room was made large to be accommodating.” Jenny looked around the dressing room that needed a window, or at least a candle. “Let’s go eat Claire.” Jenny watched her leave the dressing room to make sure she didn’t lose her footing.

 

Claire, Jenny and young Jamie ate lunch and afterwards young Jamie went to play while Claire and Jenny went to the kitchen to work on dinner.  After another hour Jenny went to let Jamie out of the priest hole.

 

“Are ye sure it's safe?” Were Jamie’s first words out of the small door.

 

“Aye, it was only neighbors. They only stayed a short time to drool over ye wife.” Jenny said walking him back to the kitchen.

 

“What do you mean?” Jamie looked at her to see if she was kidding.  Jenny told him about the visit and he scowled. 

 

“Hush, Claire is asleep at the table.” Jenny motioned to the wooden table where Claire had been knitting and fell asleep with one hand propping her chin.  Jamie smiled to see her, it was still a happy surprise.

 

Jamie quickly ate his soup and bread then picked his wife up to carry her to bed.

 

He stood next to the bed, full of pride in her and desire for her.  Jenny peeked in and Jamie looked at her.  She walked quietly in and went to the dressing room Jamie had forgotten was there.  Jenny motioned for him to follow her.

 

After Jamie went in and almost pulled the door shut he realized why she had a candle. He's forgotten the room didn't have a window. 

 

“Look at all this, Claire brought all this back for the bairns.”  She motioned to the stacks on the table.

 

“Why would bairns need so much?” Jamie looked at the four little piles.  Jenny poked him in the ribs.

 

“Ye have nae idea of how much bairns need, do ye?” She shook her head.

 

“How much more do we need for two bairns?” Jamie asked Jenny, the authority on bairns.  

 

“Ye two are more than halfway, but ye really don’t have to worry about more until after the bairns are born.” Jenny was feeling one little shirt that was so smooth. “Except for a place for them to sleep.  Maggie is still in the wee bed so I nae have one to lend ye.”  She thought she would leave the dresser talk until they had beds.

 

“I can make my bairns a bed.” Jamie pulled his shoulders back thinking about the project.

 

“Well, get to it then, and make sure to stay in the woods till dark.” Jenny shooed him out.

 

Jamie paused at the bed looking at his wife then left the room and went out the back door.  Jenny followed him out and went to the kitchen.

 

Dusk fell and the children came in for dinner.  Then it was washing, stories and bedtime.  Claire finally woke up and was instantly hungry.  She went to the dining room and helped set up the table until Jenny came back.

 

“I was goin to wake ye, but ye were up already.” Jenny paused for a moment and stared at her belly. “It will take me more than a day to get used to the size of ye.”

 

Claire smiled and rubbed her babies who responded by doing stomps and reminding her she was hungry.  Jenny heard her stomach rumble and pulled off a chunk of bread and handed it to her.  “It will be a little while before supper.” Claire was grateful for a nibble.

 

Dusk finished falling and Ian, Fergus and then Jamie came inside.  

 

Claire heard Fergus’s voice and went to find him.  She turned into the kitchen and stopped, “Fergus!”

 

He turned and his mouth dropped open.  Claire went forward and hugged him.

 

“Milady, God has restored you.” Fergus dropped to his knees and made the sign of the cross.

 

Claire held his hand and tugged him up.  “I wasn’t dead Fergus, it was a big misunderstanding we will explain another time.  Lets eat.”  She put her arm through the boys’ and they went into the dining room talking.

 

Dinner was another multi dish affair and everyone ate large plates and talked. Fergus talked about the errand that had kept him away for a few days, trying to find friends and kin that fought at Culloden.  Jamie was smiling as Claire got everyone to eat some leafy greens.  The remainder of yesterday's cake came in for dessert along with fruit salad.  Claire saw the fruit salad go untouched so she put a heaping serving on Fergus and Jamie’s dish and handed it to Jenny who put a small amount on her plate.  Until she took a bite.  Even Fergus liked the fruit salad.

 

After dinner Mrs. Crook came in to clear the table and Fergus said his goodnight.  Claire went with him to reteach him to brush his teeth and to talk to him.  Ian and Jamie went outside to check that everything was secure.  Jenny sat in front of the fire with a dram of whiskey to reflect on the day and she realized that having Claire in the house felt right.

 

Claire made it back to the stairwell to see Jamie waiting for her.  “Did I take too long?”

 

“Not at all Sassenach, I just wanted to see you down these stairs.  They are the reason we are sleeping on the first floor.” He took one hand as they started down.

 

“I thought it was because our room is close to the priest hole?” Claire looked at him, wondering if it was the right time to ask about the cave but then she yawned.

 

Jamie leaned toward her ear, “There is another one upstairs.” Then he swept her in his arms and carried her the rest of the way down the stairs.  He put her down in their bed and leaned over to kiss her.  

 

He stood back up and started to take his shirt off and saw her struggling to get her stockings off.

 

He knelt down and took them off for her, kissing her leg every few inches.  “Ye must allow me help ye, there is nae reason for ye to do battle with yer stockings.”

 

Claire smiled at him and ran her fingers through his hair and rubbed his shoulders.  She lifted his chin and kissed him.  “Thank yo-” He silenced her with another kiss.

 

Jamie got on the bed behind her where she was sitting and got her dress off and all the layers underneath.  He rubbed her stretched stomach and spoke to the babes in the Gaelic.  Claire didn’t know all of what he said but it soothed the babies and her.  Jamie got his clothes off and lay behind her with an arm around her and his hand resting on his children.  

 

Claire felt his hardness, resting against her back.  She thought about taking him in her mouth, but she yawned again and made it her plan for the morning.

 

But in the morning he was gone when she woke.  There was a short note telling her he would be back for dinner.  Claire dressed and went to the kitchen to find it was washing day.  She ate breakfast and went outside to help.

 

The day passed quickly.  Claire took another nap after lunch and woke to delicious smells. She went to the kitchen to help but Jenny said dinner was on schedule and started Claire on the mending basket by the fireplace.

 

After all the sewing she had been doing Claire’s skill and speed was much improved and Jenny was impressed.  They made plans to start a new pair of trousers for Ian with some wool Claire had brought.  Jenny thanked her for the use of the wool and Claire hushed her ‘Jenny style’ by telling her they were family and “Who else do ye think I brought it for?” They both laughed.

 

Fergus was in first and Claire wondered about his clothing.  He washed, then Claire and Fergus talked for a while and he hugged her.  “I am so glad you are here milady.”  Claire patted his little back.

 

“So am I Fergus, so am I.” Claire said and her heart was full.

Chapter 4: The Cave

Summary:

Claire and Jamie try to visit the cave.

Notes:

Diana Gabaldon owns all rights to Outlander.

Edited 12/22/2022
I changed the story to what seemed more likely, and fixed most of the grammar errors I think.

Edited 06/23/2023 Just cleaning

Chapter Text

Claire POV

The rest of the week passed quietly.  I started to acclimate myself back to the routine of the household and was waking up earlier.  My mornings were spent with Jenny on household chores and my afternoons were spent napping which Jenny fully supported after the day I didn’t nap and fell asleep at dinner.  In the evenings and spare moments I was getting ready for the birth.   I wrote down instructions in case I couldn't verbally express them.  I had a large carafe sitting next to a bucket full of antiseptic which I kept tightly sealed.  I had clean towels and blankets sitting next to the bed and one night Jamie moved the birthing chair into the bedroom.

 

“I approve of the birthing chair, but why do you have straw?” I asked and looked at Jamie who was quickly becoming red in the face.

 

“Isn’t it for, uhm, the mess?” He said and looked at the straw.

 

“I didn’t realize that was still done...I only saw a few births but there wasn’t straw in the room.” I said and remembered one in particular where the Mother had died.

 

Jamie knew by the look on my face what I was remembering.  “You were only called when there was a problem.  The birthing chair and straw are needed when everything is fine.”  As if to prove how he thought the birthing to come would be,  he spread the straw on the floor.  Jamie wrapped me in his warm arms.

 

As comfortable and safe as I felt there were things that needed to be discussed.

 

“Why have you been living in a cave?” I asked him after I drew back a bit.

 

“Jenny?” He asked, but he already knew.

 

“Yes, but that's not the point.”  I needed to know why he would live like an animal when the house had 2 priest holes.

 

Jamie sighed and motioned for me to sit in one of the fluffy blue chairs and he sat in the other.  He looked at me for a long moment and I thought he might not tell me. 

 

Then he said, “When I thought ye were gone forever it felt like a part of me died.  It was as if I left my heart at those stones.”  He paused as his voice wavered.  “I couldna feel what I was supposed to be feeling, I wasna happy to be alive.  Jenny worked hard to get me back on my feet and I was just angry that I didn’t die at Culloden .  Living here with Jenny and her family just felt like happiness I didna deserve and I was putting them at risk which they didna deserve.  I found the cave and figured why not ya’ken.  It suited my needs of being remote and hard to find and it’s much better than the priest hole.”  He had the distant look about him and I knew he was seeing the cave. 

 

There were tears on his face and I wanted to touch him but he wasn’t finished yet. “I thought if I was out of the house they were safe.  In the cave I didna have to pretend to be feelin something that I wasna feeling.  I could be who I was and I had plenty of room to do it.” He stopped and looked at me.

 

“Who were you?” I whispered.

 

“I was a man without the sun even though it shone directly on me.  I was half a man and less on some days.  I tried to think of life before ye but I couldna remember how I was then.  Some days I just sat because it was hard to breathe.” He said quietly.

 

I got up and sat in front of him on the floor to put my head in his lap.  It was an awkward move because of my large middle but Jamie kept still until I touched him, then he touched my face.  “I was barely alive without ye, mo cridhe.  I thought of ye with Frank and I would get so angry I wasna fit company for wild beasts.”  He stroked my hair and I grabbed one of his hands and held it.  We sat for a while, each imagining the other through the lonely months. 

 

I sat up and looked at him, “I understand, I tried not to think about losing you.   I made myself only remember the good times.  I was afraid to lose the babies.” I paused and rubbed my middle.  “I was never with Frank after you.”  I paused again to be sure that was clear.   “We talked and yelled a little bit but I couldn’t even consider being with him.  I felt so out of place, I just wanted to come back home.  I wanted to be here with Jenny and Ian, to be in the place with memories of you.” I stroked his legs and smiled at him.  “I was lonely in a room full of people.  I tried to keep myself busy and focused on my pregnancy.”  I said and put my head back down on Jamie’s legs and thanked God he lived despite his wish to the contrary.

 

“Don’t be afraid,” Jamie said and paused. 

 

“There’s the two of us now.” I said and looked back up at my husband and smiled.

 

Moments went by and I was just looking at my magnificent husband. Then I noticed Jamie becoming hard under his kilt and I gave a meaningful look that changed to something sly.

 

“Sassenach, I canna control that, but I am nae an animal; I can wait.”  Jamie was going to push the chair back, but I put my hand under his kilt and he froze.

 

“Sassenach,” Jamie said low and slowly.

 

I kissed his leg, looked up and said, “Hush” just as quietly and slow.  I put my hand around his cock and felt the velvet smoothness.

 

I kissed my way up his leg and got on my knees.  I looked at Jamie and he was watching me stroke his cock.  I was gentle and kissed all the up his thigh making a mental note to look at that scar in the light.

 

I made it up to his cock and it was beautiful.  Tall, hard and pulsing I licked him from base to tip before putting him in my mouth.  He groaned and gripped the sides of the chair.

 

I put one hand on his balls and gave them a gentle squeeze and was lazily licking and sucking him.

 

“Sassen-” Jamie felt the tension tipping over but it was too quick.  Claire moved her hand from his balls to his cock to hold him and catch his release.  When Jamie caught his breath he looked at her and said, “I’m sorry, but that was-”

 

“Long overdue?” I finished his sentence.  I tried to get up with one hand as the other was very full.

 

“I was going to say verre good but yes, long overdue too.” Jamie helped me up and watched me wash my hands.  “Ye are so beautiful Claire.” I turned and met his eyes.  I dried my hands and went to him, putting my arms around him.  He held onto me and felt the babies move.

 

“Does it hurt when they move?” Jamie rubbed where a tiny fist had reached out.

 

“Yes, but usually it's not too bad.” I closed my eyes and rested my head right under his chin. 

 

Jamie took a deep breath. “Let’s go to bed.” He said and started to undress me.

___~___

Fergus stayed close to my side whenever Jamie wasn't with me and I knew it was for Jamie's peace of mind.   Jamie was gone from dawn to dusk just to be safe but Fergus always knew how to find him.  Claire marveled over how much Fergus had changed in a matter of months. I was glad to have Fergus's company and he started to call me Maman more often then Milady.  I was glad of that too.

 

My second week home was very productive and I found I had more energy.  After Jenny saw how much cloth I'd had brought, they decided to hire one of the local girls to come everyday and sew for them.  Fergus had a complete set of new clothes by the end of the week and a new shirt for Ian had been started to go with new pants.

 

At the end of the week I went to my room after lunch to nap but I couldn’t lay still.  I felt too big and uncomfortable.  I couldn’t find a position where my back didn’t hurt so I  decided to take a walk instead. 

 

Ian and Fergus were making repairs to the barn and when Fergus saw me out of the house he ran to me.  I told him I was fine and just taking a short walk so he went back to helping Ian.  It didn’t reach freezing temperatures at night yet but it was getting close.  At dinner the previous evening Ian said he’d planned to wait till spring but with the extra livestock they needed to make repairs before winter.

 

There were still some crops in the fields, mainly potatoes.  I saw the herb garden I helped start many months ago.  It looked like the chickens had cloned themselves; there were so many.  I thought an expansion of the coop might be planned. There was life everywhere I looked and it felt right.  I rubbed my large middle and thought about the babies I would have soon.   

 

I mentally ran through the list of what I considered necessary for the birth and it comforted me to know everything was ready.  We didn’t have beds yet for the babies but Jamie was working on them.   They probably had too many outfits and blankets.  I took another bite of the apple I was eating and grunted as it felt like one of the babies got me right in a lung.  “I’m sure at least one of you is a Scot already.” I  muttered.  

 

I thought about sitting down but was concerned about getting back up.  Jenny or Mrs. Crook helped me get up during the day and Jamie or Ian in the evening.  The wind blew and I pulled the shawl tighter around my shoulders.  I looked up and realized how dark it was getting and I turned for home.

 

I was still a good distance from home when I saw Fergus.

 

“Is everything okay?” I asked and waited impatiently for Fergus to catch his breath.

 

“Yes, Maman.  Madam Jenny sent me to find you for dinner.”  Fergus explained.  “Why did you walk so far?”  He fell into step with me and I reached for his hand.

 

“I was thinking about things.”  I said. I didn’t know how to explain the distance.

 

“Do the babies have you thinking?”  Fergus asked and squeezed my hand. 

 

I looked at him and smiled. “Yes, the babies have me thinking.” I said.  "What are you going to do with 2 little brothers or sisters?" I asked and smiled.  Fergus smiled back at me.

 

"I was thinking about building a small coop." He said and we both laughed.

 

We continued this odd conversation that a very pregnant woman has with her ten year old observant son.  I made a mental note to inquire into his education with Jenny.  When we got in sight of the house it was full dark and raised voices could be heard.  Fergus ran ahead to let them know I was fine.  Two minutes later Jamie, Jenny and Ian filed out of the door.

 

“Are ye hurt?” Jamie asked as he ran to me and held my shoulders looking all over for a sign of injury.

 

“I’m fine.” I said but just then my stomach rumbled loudly and Jamie gave me a look of disapproval.

 

“Yes, I’m hungry, like I am all the time now.  I just went for a walk.” I hoped that would end the conversation but it continued into the house, during dinner and came back around into the conversation that night. 

 

“I will be more careful, I just felt restless today.  Can we please talk about something else?” I asked as I sat on the bed and groaned as I tried to rub my back.

 

“Let me.” Jamie got on the bed and rubbed my back.

 

“I worry about ye, and with the price on my hede I can’t be there for ye the way I want to.”  Jamie explained in his almost apologetic voice.  He was still rubbing my back when he looked at me to get a response.

I didn’t answer.  I was asleep.  He had a great laugh when he told me about this the next morning.

___~___

Jamie POV

It was a restless night for Claire, she kept tossing and turning.  She kept waking up uncomfortable and getting pains.  I kept trying to fix something that couldn’t be fixed. 

 

At dawn I rose to see Claire looking at me.

 

“I want to see it.”  She said and raised her chin and waited for my answer.

 

“See what?”  I raised one eyebrow with reserved hope about what she wanted to see.

 

“Your cave.” She said firmly.

 

“No, not in your condition.”  I said and she was silent for a while which was more concerning than an argument.   

 

“You can’t climb up there.” I said.

 

“How do you know?” Claire met my eyes as I sat up in bed.

 

“Because you are heavy with my bairns and should be staying very close to home.” I said as gently as I thought I could and still be firm.


“I am two weeks from the due date and I feel very energetic.”  She said.  “If you don’t take me I will get Fergus to take me.”  Claire added. 

 

"Sassenach, ye canna ask that of him." I said.

 

"Well, I'm asking you right now." She said.

 

“We can stop on the way to Ol’ Mrs. Anam’s house.” She had a plan to convince him, he could see that.

 

 Last night at dinner, after we talked about me walking so far alone, Jenny told them she’d had word of the redcoats on their way for the monthly visit.  The plan was for Jamie to take me to Mrs. Anam’s house for a few days and Jamie return to his cave.

 

They had talked about Fergus going with them because he could get help if there was any trouble but Jenny and Ian thought that was a bad idea.  They knew the Captain who made the rounds and if there was anything different he would be suspicious.  A missing child would raise his suspensions and likely his ire.  Fergus would be in danger if he wasn’t at the house.  An addition would be just as suspicious.  Jamie had argued with Jenny about where Claire should go but in the end he saw her logic and agreed on Claire going to Mrs. Aman’s.

 

“Fine, we will try ,” He said and emphasized the word try, “To go to the cave.  It’s not on the way, it is most definitely out of the way.  If it was on the way to anything it wouldn’t be a good hiding spot.” he said with a look of distaste. 

 

Jamie's POV

I knew it was a bad idea; it would take a long time and they would be lucky if they ended up having only one night in the woods.  Claire was uncomfortable in bed,  I wondered how bad she would have it on the ground.

 

She started to get up but I grabbed her hand, “Ye’ve not heard my demands wife.”  I said and she turned to look at me. I saw she was going to protest but at a firm look from me and she was quiet.  

 

“Ye will be honest about how ye’re feeling.” I said and waited for her to agree.

 

“Fine, I will. My back hurts.”  She wanted to say it felt like her low back was trying to detach itself from her spine but didn’t.  Jamie was like a rock in pain and she wanted to be brave.

 

I got up and sat behind her to rub her back. “Ye will strongly consider what I say before discarding it and doing what ye want.”  I said and paused again.

 

I was sitting behind her to rub her back but I kent she was smiling.  I knew better than to tell her to ‘mind’ me. “Yes, I will strongly consider what you say.”  She leaned back a little and I put my arms around her shoulders.

 

“We are agreed then, we will try to go to my cave.   Do ye need any help packing?  I have to get into the woods but I can ask the lass in the kitchen to come help.” I said.

 

“No, I can pack.” Claire said as she watched me dress.

 

“I will just let Fergus know where to bring ye then.” I said and got back on the bed. I kissed her mouth and her stomach.

 

  “Okay.” She said.  I looked at her as she said it, and kissed her again.

 

“Pack everything ye might need in case ye end up staying at Mrs. Anam’s house longer.”  I said and Claire nodded.

 

I kissed her again as I helped her up. Then I left to get myself away from the house in case the lobster backs were early. 

 

Claire's POV

I packed quickly.  I strongly considered what Jamie had said about bringing everything I might need for the birth and knew it was the right thing to do.  When I was finished two of the leather bags were packed and I had the third one empty to fill with food and drink for the trip and for Jamie in the cave.  I had to get Mary from the kitchen to help me get dressed even though the dress closed in the front.  It seemed unlikely but I felt like I had gotten bigger overnight, or the babies had shifted dramatically.

 

Fergus was in the kitchen,  just finishing his morning porridge and he looked proud to be trusted with the task ahead of them.  I didn’t feel like eating but I nibbled on a bit of bread while I packed the food bag.   Fergus carried the bags out and tied them on the mule they were taking for the trip.

 

I hugged Jenny who told me to be safe and try to mind.  I was outside in the dooryard when I saw Fergus and the mule standing by the mounting block.

 

“I am walking.” I could not imagine waddling up on the mule.

 

“Milord told me you would say that.  He said to tell you he wants you to ride only part of the way.”  Fergus looked hopeful, he knew they were both strong willed.

 

“Fine.”  I needed Fergus and one of the stable lads to help me but I got on the mule.  I really wanted to walk because when I was still my back seemed to hurt more.  

 

Fergus led the mule out of the dooryard and onto the path.  Eventually I grew accustomed to the movement.  They were both quiet for a while then I asked, “Do you miss France?”

 

Fergus startled but he slowed down and looked at me and said, “I don’t think of it too much milady.” He seemed to think for a minute while they walked on, “France is special, I will always be French.  But my home is with you and milord, wherever we go.”  He smiled fondly at me and I smiled back.

 

“I’m glad Fergus, I couldn’t part with you and neither could Jamie.”  I said and saw his shoulders get a little taller as he walked.  We talked about Lallybroch and his daily routine for a stretch.

 

“How much farther?”  I asked because my back pain was getting unbearable.

 

“About a mile milady.”  Fergus stopped for a moment and looked into the woods.  He drew the knife at his belt and moved closer to me.  But Jamie came out of the bushes and  Fergus relaxed.

 

“Milord, the meeting place is not here.” Fergus said. 

 

“I ken, but I was following you in the woods and here seemed safe enough.”  He said and reached up to get me off the mule.

 

“Thank you!” I said and rubbed my back then walked around.  

 

Jamie POV

“You protected her well son, thank ye.” I said. 

 

“Of course milord.” Fergus sounded like the thought of not protecting Claire was impossible.

 

I patted the boy on the back and took the mule’s leading rope. “Get back to the house.  I saw the redcoats on their way, they will be there around lunch I think.” Jamie nodded in the direction back to the house.

 

“Yes, milord.” Fergus smiled at me and hugged Claire.  “Good luck Maman.”  He said and started back to the house.  They heard the boy mutter “Stinking redcoats” and he spat on the ground.

 

I smiled at Claire and they stepped into the woods.

 

A slow moving hour later we were taking another break when Claire fell asleep with her head in my lap.  I looked down at her and shook my head. Maybe she was fine sleeping on the ground, or very tired. It was at least another hour's walk to see the cave and then two hours to Mrs. Anam’s house and I didn't know if she would make it.

 

She woke up suddenly and grimaced and moaned.

 

"Sassenach! Is it the bairns?" I asked, suddenly alarmed.

 

“Yes, everything is the bairns, my back bloody hurts." Claire said and I started rubbing her back again.  

 

"Is this the labor?" I asked her.  She didn't answer for a minute.

 

"Sassenach?" I said and when I saw her face she was in tears. "Whit can I do? Tell me how to help?" I said.

 

She was gritting her teeth and then she breathed out.  "Jamie, I'm a fool.  This is labor." She said and closed her eyes.  I think she slept for a few minutes. 

 

I paused and weighed our options.  Going back to the house with redcoats there was out of the question. I might be able to get her to Mrs. Aman’s, but would be someone there to get help...maybe.  I'd kent Mrs. Aman since I was young and she was old then.  

 

What if Fergus brought her to the house and said she was... who?  Jenny would be there to help her and she kent more about bringing bairns in the world then anyone else around.   Were there any other options?...Was it worth a chance with the redcoats?  I wouldn't see my children's birth but Claire would be safe.

 

I gave up thinking and gave the low then high whistle that was the signal Fergus and I had practiced when I lived in the cave.  Then I quickly went through the bags to see what Claire would think most valuable.  I picked one and put it on my back then picked up my Sassenach and carried her.  I started walking towards the house.

 

I put Claire down periodically, when she got her pains and I carried her when she rested.  I gave the whistle twice more and soon Fergus saw us.

 

"Milord, Maman?" Fergus said and ran to us with the mule.

 

Claire woke and I put her down.  "Fergus, oh Fergus." She said and then a pain was on her.

 

"Lad, please go tell Jenny it's labor.  I dinna ken what to do about the red coats." I told him and the lad took off running.

 

Claire and I continued moving towards the house.  I let her down when the pain hit her and rubbed her back, then when it passed I picked her up and carried her towards the house.

 

We were about a quarter mile behind the barn when I saw Ian.  I set Claire down to get through a pain when he caught up to us.

 

"How is it?" I asked.

 

"They left quickly when they found out there was a woman in labor coming, it was great.  Bring her to the house, it's safe." Ian said grinning wide.

 

I picked Claire up and ran with her.  Fergus was in the dooryard grinning wide.  "They're gone Milord, they're gone!" He said.

 

Jenny was at the door.  "Take her to yer room." She said.

 

I sat Claire down just inside the door and her waters broke.  "I'm sorry." She said looking down at our wet legs and feet.

 

"Sassenach, I didna care." I said and helped her walk.

 

Jenny bustled in with a pot of boiling water.  "Out wit ye Jamie, this is woman's work." She said.

 

"Nae." I said and stayed where I was standing.

 

"Nae?" Jenny asked.

 

"Nae. That is ma 'wife and ma bairns. I'll see them into the world." I said firmly, not realizing what was to come, but grateful for the chance to be there.

 

"Well, if yer staying, yer helping." Jenny said firmly and put me to work.

 

We got Claire undressed and into bed.  Jenny said that was so she could rest when the pains let her.  I brought a load of wood in and more straw. We opened her antiseptic and we were to put our hands in it before we touched her to make sure everything stayed clean.  After the first hour Jenny checked Claire and said we had a while to wait and went to leave.

 

"Where are ye going?" I asked, a little afraid that Claire would need something and I wouldn't be able to help.

 

"Easy Brother, she's got a while before they come. Most of the work she has to do, and I won't leave the house." She said and patted my arm.

 

I looked at Claire, she had her eyes closed on the bed but I didn't think she was sleeping. I looked at myself to see how dirty I was when Claire said, "Jamie, please come here."

 

I knelt by the bed but Claire patted the place next to her and I sat there.  "I'm sorry about making you take me to your cave.  You were right and I was foolish." She said and I held her hand.

 

"Dinna fash Sassenach, tell me about the hitol you stayed at, what did it look like." I asked and she smiled.

 

"Hotel.  It looked just like a bedroom with a bathroom and an icebox and a hot plate." She said.

 

"Well, yer going to have to explain those things to me but my cave looks-" I started to tell her the cave looked like a cave but another pain took her.

 

"Jamie, please rub my back." She got out and I got in bed behind her and rubbed her back through the pain.  When it was over I started to move but she asked me to stay there with her.

 

We passed the next hour like this, Claire resting when she could and me rubbing her back when the pains took her.  Jenny looked in on us a few times, and brought broth for Claire and food for me.  Claire didn't feel like eating but I got her to drink most of it.  Fergus needed to do something and I sent him back to the woods to get her other bags.

 

"Jamie, I have to move." Claire said and I helped her out of bed so she could walk a bit.  She took a few steps and would double over.  

 

"It's time to check." Jenny said coming back in the room.  I helped Claire to sit on the birthing chair.

 

"Are ye looking for a head?" I asked and Jenny smiled.

 

"Not exactly, but ye've got more time to go Claire." She said.

 

"Alright, I'm walking." Claire said and I helped her to stand again.  As soon as she did a pain took her and it seemed like it was getting worse.  

 

After it passed I looked at Jenny who nodded to the door.

 

"Sassenach, I need to go check on something, I'll be right back." I said and left the house and ran to the barn. 

 

I needed to get rid of some energy.  I could see the pain she was in but I could do nothing to help and it was driving me a bit crazy.  I ran to the barn and climbed to the loft and prayed that God would see my wife and my children safely through the birth.

 

Then I climbed back down and went into the house to hear Jenny say, "Sit down Claire afore ye fall down." and I went quickly back to the bedroom.

 

"I need to move Jenny, the pain is constant, it doesn't let up." Claire said and I closed the door.  I saw Claire standing and holding onto a chair and I saw a trickle of blood on her legs.  I looked at Jenny.

 

"Everything is fine, but the babies are close and yer wife won't stay still, she might fall." Jenny said softly.

 

"She willna fall, I'll catch her." I said and stood behind Claire.  I saw Jenny look at the blood on Claire's legs and then she looked at me and shrugged.  Maybe a little blood was normal.

 

"Call me if ye need me." Jenny said and left again.

 

"Jamie, I love you, but having your children hurts dammit." Claire said and grimaced again from the pain.  She bit her finger.

 

"If ye need to cry out do it Claire." I said and she took a big breath.  She took a few steps and bent over again and screamed.

 

"It's time, it's got to be damn time," Claire said and then yelled, "Jenny!"

 

I got Claire to the birthing chair and Jenny came in again.  "Jenny, it's got to be time." Claire said.

 

Jenny cleaned her hands and looked between Claire's legs.  "It's time." She said with a smile.

 

Chapter 5: The Bairns are born!

Summary:

The babies are born!

Notes:

As always,
Diana Gabaldon owns all rights to Outlander.

12/22/2022 Edited

Edited 06/03/2023

Chapter Text

 

"Alright, When the next pain hits, bear down and push." Jenny said and Claire nodded. 

 

I was standing behind Claire and holding her hands. I knew when she started pushing because she squeezed my hands and I thought she might break my fingers.  Then she let up and I looked to see if it was born yet.

 

"Again Claire." Jenny said.

 

"Bloody hell and damnation." Claire said and then the squeezing starting again.  This went on three or four more times.  

 

I looked to the notes Claire had been working on sitting by the window days ago and I thought to go read them to see if this was normal, it seemed like it was taking too long.  I let go of Claire's hands and took a step to get to the window, "Jamie Fraser don't you dare leave me now." Claire said.

 

I stopped and knelt next to Jenny. I took one of Claire's hands and said, "A boar couldn't get me out of this room Sassenach." I said and I saw a weak smile.

 

Claire went through a few more rounds of pushing and her shift was soaked with sweat. "The bairn's got hair Sassenach, I can see it!" I said excitedly and Jenny smiled at me.

 

Claire's face was red and she was panting to breathe.  "Again Claire, another push and your first babe is here." Jenny said, then handed me a blanket.

 

"You get the bairn and I will cut the cord." She said and my heart fluttered.

 

Claire made a low guttural sound and I saw the babe's head come out with a head full of red hair like mine. I held the blanket up and Jenny said "Help with the shoulders Jamie, Claire stop pushing." So I put up two fingers to help the bairn's shoulder come out and then the rest of the baby was there. I wrapped the blanket around it and Jenny snipped at the cord and took the blanket to rub at the bairns chest and it started to wail.

 

"Claire, it's a bairn, we have a bairn." I said, tears of joy coming down my cheeks.  She smiled, and I stood up to hold the baby next to Claire and push her sweat soaked hair back from her face.

 

"Jamie." she said and looked at me with tears in her eyes now too.

 

"Can she lie down? She's exhausted." I asked Jenny.

 

"Aye, give me the bairn." She said and I handed the baby to Jenny while I helped Claire to the bed.  The cord was still dangling from Claire and I belatedly realized women have an afterbirth just like horses. 

 

Jenny had cleaned up the bairn and placed it at Claire's breast to suckle.  The afterbirth was delivered and Jenny looked for the next baby.

 

"Claire, are ye sure ye have twins?" Jenny asked and I looked up in alarm.

 

"Yes, they heard two heartbeats." She said and handed me the bairn once it was quiet.

 

Jenny and I looked at the perfect wee bairn, then looked at Claire.

 

Jenny went to the door and opened it, "Mrs. Crook." She called.

 

"No, don't give the baby away." Claire called and I looked at her because it didna make sense.

 

"Claire, I'm just going to have her clean it up a bit more and put a clout on her." Jenny said and looked at Jamie.

 

Mrs. Crook came in and said, "Oh, congratulations!"

 

"Can you please clean her up and put a clout on her." Jenny said and Mrs. Crook took the bairn and went to the dressing room where the baby clothes were.

 

"Claire, ye need to get up, we have to deliver the next babe." Jenny said and pulled back the sheet.  Jamie saw the blood on the bed and looked at Jenny.  She took a blanket and covered it up as they help Claire out of bed.

 

Claire was pale and week but she got up and walked a few steps with us.  My own shirt grew wet with nervous sweat and I thought of my own Mother who died in childbirth.

 

"Jenny..." Was all I said but she knew my question.

 

"Claire, ye've got to keep moving." Jenny said, looking at me.

 

More blood seemed to be coming down her legs.  "What can I do?" I almost yelled.

 

Claire opened her eyes then. "Jamie don't you dare yell at me while I am having your children." She said and took a few steps on her own.

 

"If this next baby doesn't come you cut it out of me Jenny." She said and I grew angry.

 

"She willna! You are having it just like the first Sassenach." I said angerly.

 

"Do you think you're going to tell me what to do now Jamie Fraser!?" Claire said and she was angry too.  I saw Jenny smile and she waved at me to keep it coming.

 

"We willna cut ye Sassenach, so ye will just have to figure this out." I said and there was another gush on the floor.

 

Jenny was smiling, "Two waters, they willna be exactly alike." She said and we got Claire back on the birthing chair.  There was only a few rounds of pushing this time, but I held my Sassenach through it.

 

I knelt down next to Jenny again, "Sassenach, I see hair!" I said excited again.

 

“Push Claire. With your next pain you have to push!” I said, holding her hand, trying to rouse her.

 

“I can’t, Jamie. I’m so damn tired..” Claire was crying now and reached out for her me.  “I’m so sorry, you are the bravest man I know and look at me.” She said.

 

I took her hand and kissed her.  “Are you kidding me? You travelled through rock - through ROCK! You kept two children safe and grew them under your heart. You are the bravest woman I know Claire Fraser!” I said and kissed her.

 

"Claire, push with yer next pain." Jenny said and handed Jamie the blanket.

 

I saw her take a deep breath, and then she was grunting again. 

 

I saw the babies head and I held the blanket up but his lips were blue and I yelled for Jenny.

 

"See if the cord is around his neck." She said and I reached in the honeypot I loved so much and put a finger under the cord that was around his neck.

 

Everything happened quickly after that.  'Stop pushing Claire." Jenny said and they delivered the baby and moved the cord further.  Jenny rubbed the babe's chest but he didn't start crying like the first babe had. A memory sparked and I remembered Claire telling me about a delivery she'd helped.  I opened the babes mouth and made sure nothing was there and then blew air into it's mouth. I took a finger and pushed the babies chest where the middle would be a few times then blew into it's mouth again.

It took less than thirty seconds and the tiny baby let out a piercing wail.

 

"Saints be praised." Jenny said and I looked to Claire who was crying. 

 

Mrs. Crook had cleaned up the bed and we got Claire into it after the second birth was finished.  The first babe was at her breast and Jenny cleaned up the second baby and handed it to me.

 

"Thank ye Jenny, and thank ye Mrs. Crook." I said.

 

"I didna ken about letting ye stay but ye did fine Jamie, ye saved your babe's life.  I didna ken to do what ye did." Jenny said.

 

I looked to Claire but she was asleep on the bed.

 

There was a small knock at the door.  I opened it and it was Fergus.  "Lad, come meet yer... I do nay ken if they are lads or lassies." I said and looked at Jenny who laughed.

 

"Your daughter was born first and your son second." She said.

 

"Well, come meet yer brother and sister then." I said and showed Fergus the babies after covering Claire up.

 

He was surprised they were so small but he was happy everyone was alright.  Jenny yawned and stretched.

 

"Let's get to bed Lad." She said and patted Fergus's shoulder.

 

"To bed -" I said and looked out the window, I was surprised to see it was full night.

 

I thanked Jenny again and told Fergus I would see him in the morning as they left the room.

 

I sat both babes on the dresser and marveled that the three of us had become five.  I realized that one bairn had a blue blanket and the other one a white blanket and I peaked to see if the blue blanketed bairn was a boy... yep.  I wondered what Claire would want to name them.

 

My son got a little fussy.

 

"Bring them here Jamie." Claire said quietly from the bed.  

 

I handed Claire the lad and watched as she stroked her nipple along the baby’s cheek.  He opened his mouth and was drinking in seconds.  Claire let out a sigh and Jamie sat on the bed holding his daughter.

 

"Sassenach, I do nay have the words to express what is in my heart.  Ye were amazing and I thank ye for my children." I said and she stroked my cheek, smiled and closed her eyes.

 

When the lad had drunk his fill I took him and patted his back until he burped like Jenny had showed me. I looked around, wondering where they were going to sleep.  I was working on their beds but they weren't finished yet.  In the end I took a dresser drawer and emptied it.  Then I I took the table and brought it close to the side of the bed and put the dresser drawer on it with my children in it.  I lay down next to my lady and watched my children sleep for a while.

 

I dozed off and I woke as the babies stirred.  "Are ye hungry or need a clout changing?" I asked in a whisper.

 

"I hope they are both hungry." Claire said as she sat up.  I handed the lass to her and the babe started to suckle immediately when Claire held her to her breast.  "You know, I don't even know if you are a boy or a girl." She said to the wee bairn.

 

"Yer holding our lass, and I have our lad.  We have one of each." I said as I changed his clout. "What are we going to call them?" I asked as I came back to bed with the freshly clouted lad.

 

“What do you think...who was born first?" Claire asked while their daughter was finishing. I nodded to the bairn she held.

 

I took the lass and handed Claire the lad.  "What about Brianna Ellen?" Claire asked.

 

“We have a boy to name Brian, why should we saddle a lass with Brianna?” Jamie asked as he watched her start to feed his son.

 

“She was born first, and should be named after your parents I think." Claire said.  "What do you think about Murtagh James for this wee lad?" She asked.

 

I swallowed.  I had not seen Murtagh since Culloden and even though some months had passed the wound was fresh.  "I think that would be a fine name Claire, a fine name." I managed to say. 

 

“What about Brianna Ellen Julia Beauchamp Fraser?”  Jamie said and looked at Claire.

 

"That sounds wonderful, thank you." She said and I wiped a tear from her eye.

 

"Wee Murtagh needs a third name, what do ye think of Fergus?" I asked my wife who nodded.

 

When both the bairns were fed and cleaned they went back to sleep easily. I had to help Sassenach up to pish and when she was finished she was crying.

 

 "What is it?" I asked and held her close.

 

"I'm just wondering if you'll ever want me again.  You've seen me have children and now helped me to urinate.  It's embarrassing." She said.

 

I held her close to me.  "Sassenach, ye've blessed me with two bairns and I am honored to help my wife with her needs.  Please dinna cry." I said and she nodded.

 

"Would you please get me something to eat?" She asked me and smiled.

 

"Aye, now ye're speaking my language." I said and as I opened the door I saw Fergus sleeping on the floor next to the door.

 

"Fergus lad, why are ye no in yer bed?" I asked him as he woke up.

 

He stood up and rubbed his eyes.  "Milord, I wanted to make sure everything was alright, Maman didn't look well earlier." He said and tried to look past me to Claire.

 

"Well lad, go have a seat next to her and ye'll see she is fine. I'm off to get some food." I said and nudged him into the room.

 

*Claire's POV*

 

I hugged Fergus as he came close to me.

 

"Are you really alright?" He asked shyly.

 

"I am feeling better after some sleep.  I'm sorry I worried you earlier, birth is hard on women you know." I said.

 

"I know." He said and paused. "I remember from France women can have a baby and seem fine, then they died." He said and put an arm around my shoulder.

 

"I'm okay my fils (son), I'm tired and I'm sure I will sleep a lot but I'm alright." I said and I saw his tears and he hugged me again.

 

Jamie came in with a tray loaded with food.  "Look at all that, maybe you can help us eat it." I said.

 

The three of us sat and ate and talked about what was going on in the house when I was having the babies.  

 

"What did you name the bebes?" Fergus asked.  

 

Jamie walked him to the drawer on the table and said, "This is your sister, Brianna Ellen Julia Beauchamp Fraser and this is your brother Murtagh James Fergus Beauchamp Fraser." Jamie said proudly.

 

Fergus looked surprised.  "Fergus, after me?" He asked

 

"Yes, after you." Jamie said, and they came back to sit down close to me.

 

Fergus looked thoughtful.  "What's the matter?" I asked him.

 

"I only have one name, Fergus." He said.

 

"You are Fergus Fraser." Jamie said firmly.

 

Fergus smiled, but still looked thoughtful.  "I want to be Fergus James Murtagh Beauchamp Fraser.  For you Milord and Murtagh.  It is different that my brother's, is that alright? He asked.

 

"That's perfect Fergus James Murtagh Beauchamp Fraser." Jamie said and ruffled the boy's hair.

Chapter 6: Claire has to use penicillin

Summary:

Yep, it's on one of the babies

Notes:

Diana Gabaldon owns all rights to Outlander.

Edited 12/23/2022 - I changed this chapter a bit because of some of the idea's I had after I wrote it. I also changed their son's name to Murtagh-but that started in the last chapter-. I hope you understand the change.

Edited 06/03/2023

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Jamie's POV

 

I woke early and realized Claire was already awake.  She was sitting up holding wee Murtagh and crying quietly.

 

“Sassenach, what is it?” I asked..

 

“I have to go back.” Claire whispered and I shuddered as I imagined her going through those rocks.

 

“What are you talking about?” I asked. I was awake and truly alarmed now.  She was holding Murtagh and looking at Brianna.

 

Claire beckoned me over and laid Murtagh next to his sister.  “Put one hand on each of their chests.” She said.

 

I did it and noticed the difference. “Murtagh's breath comes faster than Brianna’s. That-”  I was going to add it seemed normal that bairnes are different but Claire cut me off.

 

“Put your ear on each of their chests and listen.” Claire told me as she continued to look at our bairns.

 

I did it and noticed the difference.  “Why does Murtagh sound different?” I asked. 

 

“There is fluid in his lungs.” She said the last in a sob and paused,  “ I can only guess, but I think it has something to do with the cord around his neck.  You saved his life but I don’t think his lungs were emptied and now there is water in his lungs.” A silent tear ran down Claire’s face as she spoke.  "I have to take him back before it gets to bad and..." Claire didn't finish her sentence. 

I saw an image in my mind of Claire and wee Murtagh laying on the ground by the rocks for hours and knew going back wasn't a real option.

 

I took Claire’s hand and looked from her to our bairns.  “I’ve heard of pneumonia, what is the cure in ye’re time?” I asked.

 

“The treatment is penicillin.” Claire answered and she shuddered.  I briefly wondered if she was thinking about the stones.  “I’m sorry I didn’t see it until now.  I was so tired-” Claire said.

 

“No.” I cut her off abruptly.  “It is nae your fault Sassenach, and ye see it now.  You brought your peni-cillian in one of your bags right?” I asked, remembering her bottles and needles.

 

Claire looked up, “Yes, but I don’t know the dose.” She said.

 

“Is it in one of ye’re books in the priest hole?” I asked.  My blood was pumping and I was spurred to action.  I would not lose my son, my daughter, or my wife.

 

Claire stood up catching my attitude and answered, “It might be, I’m not sure.  But I do know that a child's dose is based on weight, if I figure…” I didn’t hear the rest of her plans as I got dressed and ready.

 

“Where are you going?”  Claire looked up from her muttering.

 

"I'm going to the priest hole to bring all yer things so ye can cure our son." I said and opened the bedroom door.

 

Claire was still trying to find out how to calculate wee Murtagh's weight when the house got very loud and she thought it might mean redcoats.  She hid her children in the dressing room and threw on a gown.  She had to find Jamie before the red coats found him.

 

She opened her bedroom door to see Fergus running past her.  "Fergus!" She yelled and he turned to look at her.

 

"Happy day Maman!" He said and kissed her cheek.

 

"What is all this? Are the red coats here?" She asked, the fear showing in her voice. 

 

"Non Maman," Fergus said and patted her hand, "Survivors from Culloden." He said and ran towards the door.

 

I saw Claire then, and I was still alarmed at the noise. She told me what Fergus had told her.  I was carrying three of her leather bags.

 

"Fine, let's work on getting our son better." I said and we went into our bedroom.

 

Claire calculated wee Murtagh's weight at a pound under what she thought he was just to be safe and I worked on laying out everything in her bags so she could decide what to use.  She went through two of her medical books to be sure.

 

It seemed like it took forever but it was really just a few minutes before Claire was using antiseptic on the needle and drawing up the peni-cillian.  We both stood in front of a sleeping baby.

 

"I have to give it to him in his bottom, its the only fatty tissue he has." Claire said.

 

I took my wee lad in my arms, rolled him on his side and pulled down his clout.  Claire took a breath and gave her tiny son the injection.

 

Wee Murtagh let out a wail that reassured us of his strength. Brianna woke and was also upset.  A few minutes later Claire was sitting down and nursing them both at the same time, and I wondered if women with twins did this often.  The bairns settled down and we talked about how often wee Murtagh should have the medicine and when we should see results and what to do if we didn't.  I didna want them to go through the stones again though.

 

I sat and watched Claire nurse both bairns at the same time and thought about a picture of a pagan goddess I'd seen in France. When the wee ones had their fill I burped them and changed their clouts.  Wee Murtagh nursed longer than his sister and I took that as a good sign.

 

Claire wanted something to drink, she seemed to be thirstier than normal so I told her to stay put and I would bring us food and drink.  I didna ken who would be in the house.  I brought her a large tray and went to talk to Jenny about wee Murtagh and do a few chores. 

 

I added wood to the fireplace in the parlor, I figured we'd be having guests.  When I turned to leave and go back I thought I saw a vision at the door.

 

I froze so I would continue to see him.  " A Ghoistidh"  I whispered.

 

"Are ye jus' going to stand there? No welcome?" Murtagh said and broke my trance.

 

I laughed.  "Ye're really here, I thought I was lookin upon yere ghost." I said and hugged my Godfather.  His hair was wet from being freshly washed and he was thin, but he was here.

 

"My God man, it is good to see ye!" Jamie said.  "Come, come with me man." Jamie said and they went to the bedroom.

 

Claire stood up and the worry for her son vanished for a moment.

 

"Murtagh!" She said and ran into his arms for a hug.

 

Murtagh hugged her and looked at Jamie over her head.  "Lass," He said when she finally let him go and he looked at her, "Jamie told me ye went back through the stones to yer own time." He said.

 

"I did, but I came back because, well, " Claire said and paused to look at Jamie.

 

Jamie went into the dressing room and carried back the drawer and placed it on the bed.  He picked up his son.  "I'd like ye to meet our wee Murtagh." Jamie said with pride.

 

"Och, lad, ye have a son, ye named him after me." Murtagh said and I saw his eyes tear up.

 

I went behind him and picked up our daughter.  "This is Brianna Ellen." I said and Murtagh sat on the chair.

 

"Two bairns, Jamie, Claire, ye both are so blessed." He said and I saw him cry for the first time. "Ye have bairns of yer own lad." Murtagh said. 

 

We put the babies down and accepted hugs of congratulations from Murtagh.

 

There was a knock on the open door and Jenny appeared.  "I kent ye'd be in here.  Murtagh, ye've a proper bath in ye're room now go." She said in her commanding tone.

 

Ian was at the door too.  

 

“I’m grateful, but is it safe to sleep in the house?” Murtagh asked with a bannock in each hand he'd picked up from the food tray.

 

“I will show ye the priest holes.” Ian said and nodded to Murtagh.  “There is a small room, then a hidden door and another small room.  If the redcoats find the priest hole they will see it empty because ye will be in the second room.” He said and they walked off.

 

Jenny looked at the tray.  "Claire, eat.  Jamie, I need yer help." She said and I left with my sister after pointing to the tray at my Sassenach.

***

 

There were four men with Murtagh and each had been badly wounded at Culloden.  They had slowly traveled here and there to give them time to heal and to avoid the redcoats.  I sorted them into the barn with clean blankets and food.  I told them about our north facing tower, to a couple laughs, and said it was a decent place to hide but not safe.  If they were careful they might be fine 'cause the English wouldn't risk entering.  

Ian brought bags of food out and after they ate they planned to sleep since they were all tired. 

 

I walked back to the house with Ian and told him of the fluid in wee Murtagh's lungs.

 

"Claire is a braw healer, she will take care of yer son." Ian said and patted my back.  Unbidden, I thought of our Faith.  Claire would've done everything she could then too but it was out of her hands.

 

I came back to the house to find Claire and Jenny talking about the babies in our bedroom.

 

"What do ye think Jenny?" I asked after listening to a few minutes of their conversation.

 

"Wee Murtagh is a good size,  he's a bit smaller than Brianna but nay much.  Ye have the potions that are used in yer time and his breathing is strong, I ken ye can do much more than pray." She said, still looking at Brianna and wee Murtagh,  and she smiled.  "I see ye in yer bairns brother." She said, then walked to the door.

 

"Claire, ye need to eat or ye will nay get enough milk fer two." She said and left the room.  Claire picked up a bannock and spread honey on it.

 

I sat down and ate a little too.  After we were finished with the tray I asked, "Sassenach, whit can we do now?"

 

"We need to keep his head elevated. I'll give him another dose after six hours, and by tomorrow he should sound a little better.  If he is sounding better we need to try to make sure he cries." She said and took a drink of the milk that Jenny still shook her head about.

 

"Make sure he cries?" I asked, wondering what she meant.

 

"Crying will exercise his lungs and I think it will help him clear the fluid." She said, looking a bit worried.

 

"Welle, bairns cry Sassenach.  That is their way." I said, still not understanding.

 

"We need to let him cry a little more than usual.  Make him wait an extra minute to nurse, things like that.  He'll use his lungs more and I think that will help." She said.

 

I took both her hands in mine.  "We will do everything we can, dinna fash.  Why don't ye get some rest while ye can.  I'll be close." I told her and kissed her as gently as I could.

***

I asked Fergus to stay in the house which he dinna like but I told him I needed him to watch over Claire and alert me, Murtagh and the men in the barn if redcoats came.  He was easy to convince after that. He put a chair outside the bedroom door and took to working on a piece of wood.  I kent what the wood was for; he was eagerly helping me with the cribs. I worked in the mill for an hour or so because it was close to the house and we needed extra flour.  I came back then to check with Fergus to be sure everything was fine.  I continued this to lunchtime and my belly was rumbling.  I hoped Claire was awake because it was close to time for wee Murtagh's next shot.

 

Murtagh slept through lunch, but Fergus, Claire, Jenny, Ian and I ate.  I watched my Sassenach and she ate a good lunch without Jenny or I having to tell her.   We were talking about dinner and Jenny wanted to celebrate since Murtagh was back and we decided on the ham.

 

Our bairns started wailing then and Fergus made it to the door before I did.  I ruffled the lads hair and opened the door.  He watched as I changed their clouts and I gave Claire Brianna to nurse while she sat on one of the blue chairs.

 

I told Fergus he could go play since I would be in for a while and he took ran outside,

 

"He doesn't have to stay here to watch me." Claire said.

 

"I ken. He wasna watching ye, but wee Murtagh.  If there was a problem I wanted to ken." I said and swayed with my son in my arms.

 

"Alright, but please remember he is a child and needs time to play." She said and I nodded.  "Speaking of Fergus, what are we going to do about his education?" Claire asked.

 

I thought for a moment and wondered if she was trying to think of anything other than her ill child.  "I thought about starting to teach him the Gaelic.  Whit do ye think about starting mathematics with him when ye feel up to it?" I asked her.  Brianna was finished and we switched babies.

 

Wee Murtagh was frantically looking for her nipple and I smiled to myself.  Brianna burped as we sat down.  "That's a great idea, I can do that." She said and smiled.

 

We were quiet for a while and I watched Brianna try to see everything and I wondered how much she could make out.  I looked at Claire as she switched wee Murtagh to the other breast and he suckled for a few minutes then grew agitated.  I went to lay Brianna down and asked Claire, "Whit's a miss? Can I help?"

 

She gave my son to me and worked both her breasts.  She looked up with teary eyes.  "I don't have any more milk.  He wants more." She said.

 

I swayed to calm him down a bit.  "Sassenach, stay calm." I said gently.

 

"Calm hell Jamie, I can't feed my son." She said angerly.  I felt a little lighter then because anger in my Sassenach was good, it meant she was on her way to action.  I worried more about tears than anger.

 

She took a breath, then left the room.  She promptly returned with Jenny who took wee Murtagh and sat in a chair, then started to nurse him. 

 

"Dinna fash Sister, I had to have help with my wee Jamie.  It happens to a lot of new Mothers." She sat and patted Claire's knee.  Then she turned to me.

 

"Brother, go get the milk Claire likes.  Ask Ian to tell ye where the the cider is, and bring small beer." Jenny said and I got up and went to the door.

 

"I'll be back for wee Murtagh's medicine." I said and left.

 

Fifteen minutes later I was back with a pitcher of cider, two cups of milk, and a glass of small beer.  I sat them on the little table next to Claire.  "Drink the cider and milk first, then the small beer." Jenny said.  Wee Murtagh was finally finished nursing and Jenny burped him and handed him back to Claire.

 

"I will, and thank you Sister." Claire said.

 

Jenny was at the door but she waived like it was nothing.  I saw Claire smile.

 

Claire and I went into the dressing room after she drew the medicine into her needle.  She gave him the shot in the other wee arse check, and I picked him up and comforted him.  When he fell asleep I laid wee Murtagh down next to his sister and they slept.

 

Claire yawned.

 

"Drink ye're fluids and get some rest Sassenach." I said.  I kissed her and she nodded.  When I left the room she was drinking the cider.

 

I went to the kitchen to talk to Jenny and saw Fergus sitting at the table looking guilty.

 

"Tell yer Da." Jenny said.

 

Fergus swallowed.  "Well Milord, I heard Maman say she was having trouble with milk, and I told Mistress Murray when I was in France I bought senegre from the apothecaries for the women who wanted to, uh, make milk." He said.

 

I sat down. I could tell Jenny was upset but I was interested.  "What did they do with the senegre?" I asked Fergus.

 

"Make a tea and drink it, several cups a day." he said.  "I could go to the apothecary in Broch Mordha to see if they have it Milord, I could be back by tomorrow." Fergus finished his idea and was hopeful.  I looked at him for a minute.

 

"Come with me." I said and we went to one of the priest holes. I took out a bag and handed the lad enough coins to make his eyes bulge.

 

"Take a horse, so ye can be back today, I dinna want to risk the redcoats finding ye. Buy all ye can and seeds if they have it, if it works ye ken yer Ma will want to grow it." I said as we walked out of the house.

 

"Hide the coins in different areas, just in case." I said and Fergus nodded again and put two coins in each of his socks and all of his pockets.

 

"If ye have leftover coin, buy some yarn and whatever you think will be good, or might make yer Ma happy."  I said and put my hands on his shoulders.  "Are ye sure ye can do this lad, it is dangerous." I told him and watched his facial expressions.

 

"I can do this Milord, I know how to be sly.  What I didn't know you taught me." He said and his chest puffed out a little.

 

I hugged him to me, and he headed to the barn while I went back to the house.

 

Jenny was waiting for me inside the door.  "What are ye thinking Brother to send that child alone to town?" She asked angerly.

 

"I'm thinking he is smart and knows how to get away from people. He wants to help Claire." I said and pushed past her.

 

I quietly opened the door to our bedroom and I saw Claire was asleep.  She had drunk all of the cider and the milk.  I finished the small beer, we had four full barrels of it left so there was plenty.  I picked up the tray and closed the door.

 

I worked a while in the fields, pulling up potatoes and hunting for the greens I kent Claire liked.  Murtagh found me and said Jenny wanted everyone in for supper.

 

Claire was awake and she told me privately she'd fed the bairns again herself and they were both content.  We went to the dining room and Jenny and Mrs. Crook had really outdone themselves. We had venison stew, ham, potatoes, carrots, beans, corn and fresh bread with butter.  We had wine and cider to drink and Claire drank plenty of fluids.

 

We all ate with gusto, especially Murtagh. 

 

After the meal was finished we had wine and Murtagh told his story.

 

"At Culloden some lobster back had tried to cut my arm off, and when I realized I wasn't going to die I missed ye badly Claire." He started and we all laughed a bit, except Claire.  I could see her watching Murtagh, trying to determine what arm had been damaged.

 

He'd been drug off the field to be killed but the redcoat encampment needed slaves, and since he could walk he was chosen.  He was kept chained to three other men all the time.  They worked, ate, slept and everything else together. After he found out Fergus was looking for him a plan was brought together and Murtagh escaped.  Before he found out about Fergus, Murtagh thought Jamie was dead and Claire was gone.  

 

“I thought the orders were to kill all the Scottish soldiers who fought against the English.” Jenny said.

 

"That was the orders, but their laziness won out." Murtagh said and took another drink of wine.  "How did ye escape Jamie?" He asked.

 

I told the story of how I was saved and Murtagh crossed himself and thanked God.

 

Claire had been quiet most of the evening.  She ate and drank a lot but didn’t say much.  I saw Claire falling asleep and so did Jenny. 

 

“Bed.” Jenny announced as I was standing up.

 

I woke Claire just as our bairns started to cry.  "Murtagh," Claire said as she was standing up from the table, "I want to see that arm tomorrow morning." She said and kissed his cheek.

 

I followed Claire into our bedroom and changed the bairn's clouts while she fed them.  She gave our son another shot and I picked him up again to calm him down after the needle prick.

 

Once I had both the bairns asleep and in the drawer I saw that Claire was asleep in the chair.  I woke her and helped her undress and get into bed.  She was asleep again before her head hit the pillow.

 

After Claire was asleep I quietly left the room to see Jenny was still in the kitchen.

 

"Did she have enough?" Jenny asked, drying her hands.

 

"Aye, thank ye fer yer help." I said, looking at her.

 

"Of course." Jenny said and we both migrated out the door and sat on the steps.

 

"How much longer before he should be here?" She asked.

 

"Six miles there and back, plus the getting of it. He's not late yet.  Go ta bed Janet, I'll wait fer him." I said.

 

She stood and wrung her hands a minute. "Ye'll come git me if there's a problem?" She asked.

 

"Aye." I said and kissed her cheek.

 

She went to bed and I walked to the barn to check on the men and the animals again.  They were verre happy with the meals we brought them for supper and they seemed to be well hid.  The animals were quiet.

 

I wandered to the gate where my Da would give me his discipline and I said another prayer for Fergus's safe return and waited a while longer. Just when I'd decided to go get a horse to start after Fergus I heard the distant sound of hoof beats, but it wasn't coming from the road.  

 

I ran to the small trail I knew Fergus would be on and hid.  I saw two horses in the distance and moved back to be sure I wasn't seen.

 

I pulled my dirk out of it's sheath.  Two men was unlikely to be red coats, but maybe deserters.  

 

As I readied myself I heard a song being sung in French and smiled.

 

I put my dirk back and got to the trail to wait for him.

 


"Milord!" He said excitedly when he saw me.  He hopped down from the horse and ran to me.  I hugged him and he flinched.

 

"Lad, what's wrong?!" I said, trying to look him over.

 

"Can we get to the house, I'm hungry." He said and I let him go, still watching for signs of injury.

 

"Sure, let's go." I said and turned to the barn but he walked towards the house still leading the two horses.

 

I fell in step next to him.  "Why do ye have two horses lad?" I asked.

 

He tethered them to the post in the dooryard.  "Our horse was stolen from me, I'm sorry Milord. I did get it back though." He said and looked at the ground.

 

"Lad, ye are back in one piece and that is all I want." I said and lifted his chin.  He smiled then, and grabbed a bag from one of the horses.

 

I grabbed the other two and we walked in the house. "If our horse was stolen, how is it ye have it back and another to boot?" I asked.  I'd seen the saddle and knew it to be ours.

 

"Well," Fergus said and paused as he put the bag down on the kitchen table.

 

Just then I saw his face in the light.  He was bruised and cut.  "Fergus, yer hurt." I said too loudly.

 

I heard someone coming down the steps.  It was Murtagh.  "Redcoats?" He asked.

 

"Murtagh, ye stayed!" Fergus yelled and ran to him.  Murtagh caught him and hugged him, Fergus flinched again.

 

"Nay, no redcoats.  My lad's home and he's hurt." I said and I saw Jenny and Ian coming in the kitchen.

 

"Is he alright?" Jenny asked.

 

"Nae, will ye get Claire?" I asked and Jenny nodded and left the room.

 

"What's amiss?" Ian said looking around.

 

"I'm fine Milord, just had a skirmish is all." Fergus said and he stood a little taller.

 

Fergus looked at a plate of bannocks and Ian handed him the plate.  "Dinna fill up lad, we have ham fer yer dinner." Ian said and Fergus smiled and took a bannock.

 

Claire and Jenny came in and Jenny was carrying Claire's medical box.  "Fergus! I thought you were asleep." Claire said.  I felt my cheeks flush a little about not telling her of Fergus's trip.

 

"Non Maman, I went to Broch Mordha to..." He paused and looked around, "Get you some things." He said and Claire started cleaning the cut on his head.  She looked at me and I knew I would get a talking to later.

 

"What happened?" Claire asked as she looked at the cuts on his hands and started to clean those around him taking bites.  Jenny went to make a plate of food.

 

"Two men found me and took my horse and roughed me up a bit, but I got away with the money.  They didn't too far before Charlie (our horse) bucked them off and came back to me." He said and laughed.  "I got to Broch Mordha to get yer herbs and I bargained so good I had money left for another horse and goods." he said and pointed to the bags.

 

Fergus got away from Claire and grabbed one of the bags. "Look Maman, hats for the bebes," He said and pulled out two small hats, "A  pack of needles, clackers," He said with happiness pulling out knitting needles, "So you might teach me to clack Madam Murray, yarn and a pack of candy for the children." He said happily dumping multiple balls of yarn on the table and holding up the candy. I could tell he was very proud.

 

"Thank ye Fergus, you did well." I said and smiled at him.  

 

"Wait Milord," he said and grabbed the third bag.  "Shoes for the bebes, when they need them." he said and pulled out two pair of small leather shoes.

 

Claire smiled at him.  "Thank you Fergus, you really thought of everything." She said and motioned for him to sit down to eat the plate of food Jenny had made.

 

"What else did you get lad?" Murtagh asked, picking up the bag.

 

"Buttons, fabric and a comb." He said and shrugged.

 

"Ye made very good choices, all of this and another horse?" I asked him and Ian looked at me.

 

"Another horse?" He asked.

 

"Aye Monsieur Murray, they are in the dooryard." Fergus said through a mouthful of food and Ian and Murtagh left to go take care of the horses. 

 

"Alright, I will put these things up." Jenny said but handed the hats and shoes to Claire.  Claire handed a pair of the shoes back to Jenny.

 

"Wee Maggie can use a pair now right?  When she out grows out of them you give them to me." Claire said and put the shoes in Jenny's free hand.  She nodded back to Claire.

 

"Ye eat and let yer Ma take care of ye lad, then get ye bed." Jenny said and patted Fergus's back.  "We'll start yer knitting lessons tomorrow." She said and Fergus nodded at her and thanked her.

 

Jenny handed the bag of herbs to Claire and said, "Yer lad will explain." and she left and went up the steps.

 

I sat and told Fergus about the men we settled in the barn.  He ate and Claire cleaned and dressed his wounds.

 

After she was finished she looked at the bag and then at Fergus.  "Can you tell me what's in that bag?" Claire asked.

 

I saw Fergus blush.  "I heard Milord telling Jenny that you had problems with your milk. At Madam Elise when a woman wanted more milk she made a tea with those herbs and drank it during the day.  They said it worked, it's called senegre." Fergus said and looked nervous.

 

Claire looked thoughtful and looked at the table. "Senegre..." She said and then slapped her knee, "Fenugreek! Fergus you're right, thank you for getting this.  I don't approve of the eavesdropping, but this will be very helpful." She said and kissed his cheek.  "Do you want more to eat?" Claire asked him.

 

"Non Maman, thank you." He said and smiled.  Fergus stood up and so did Claire and she hugged him.

 

"You are such a smart lad." She said and kissed his forehead. "Now get to bed and don't leave the house tomorrow until I check you over, alright?" Claire asked.  Fergus nodded and Claire hugged him again.

 

 

 

 

Notes:

*senegre is French for fenugreek

Chapter 7: Cows, goats, pigs and chickens oh my!

Summary:

This chapter is mainly about Claire and Jamie's son, and the goings on in a house. Nothing big happens but I wanted to show Jenny. I think if Claire could've stayed longer Jenny would've softened a bit around the edges. Jenny lived through so much loss then had to care for the house at a young age. Maybe it is wishful thinking but... well, read on.

Notes:

Diana Gabaldon owns all rights to Outlander and the characters.
I love the characters and like to play what if's.

Edited 01/01/2023
I'm cleaning up my grammar, and I changed Alex's name to Murtagh.
edited 06/03/2023 for cleanup

Chapter Text

I heard Fergus go up the steps and Claire washed his plate, then turned to look at me.

 

“Don’t send our son off again without telling me.” She said.

 

“Aye.” I said and was quiet because I kent I was getting off easy.

 

“Alright, let's go to bed.” She said and I followed her to our bedroom with a pitcher of water for Claire to drink.  I saw her place the herbs on her dresser and I hoped they would help her.

 

She drank a big glass of water and then we went to bed.  The bairns were up a few times that night and I was in awe of them.  I carried them to Claire to nurse so she didn’t have to get up.

 

*Claire POV*  

 

I gave little Murtagh another shot of penicillin in the morning before he nursed.  He was still crying loudly and I thought he was doing a little better but I was afraid to be hopeful.  I couldn’t imagine losing another child but I wouldn’t let my thoughts go in that direction.

 

Jamie was wonderful.  He had changed every one of the babies nappies, or clouts as he called them. I got dressed properly that morning even though I was still very tired.

 

I saw to Fergus before breakfast.  The cut on his face was healing nicely but the skin under his right eye was looking purple.  I told him he had to stay in the house today and he was not happy.

 

Murtagh had a deep red scar under his arm, they had really tried to cut it off!  He was thin like everyone else but otherwise healthy.

 

After we ate Ian, Murtagh and Jamie went out. They were planning on bringing in the rest of the potatoes today.   I brought out a few pieces of paper and pencils (that I’d taken the paint off before packing) and had Fergus and wee Jamie write numbers.  Fergus already knew some but needed practice.  Wee Jamie was thrilled with the idea of writing.

 

I made sure they used all of the paper, and didn’t let on that I had packed a few hundred sheets.  After they filled both sides with numbers we burned the paper and they enjoyed watching it.

 

Wee Jamie went out to do his chores and Fergus and I played chess.  

 

I had my first cup of fenugreek tea at lunch.  There was only one time I didn't have enough milk for my children but I didn’t want it to happen again. I drank so many fluids I might have floated away.

 

The next day I let Fergus outside after we went over numbers again.  That evening before dinner I listened to little Murtagh’s chest and heard only the smallest issue.  I didn’t draw the penicillin and when Jamie came into the room he said, “Sassenach, I think it’s time for the wane’s medicine.”

 

I looked at him and I knew I had tears in my eyes.  Jamie stopped in his tracks and went white.

 

“No, Jamie, listen to him.” I said and smiled. 

 

Jamie walked hesitantly to the little dresser drawer we’d been keeping them in and listened to Murtagh, then Brianna.

 

“It’s better.” He said quietly, then I heard him whisper what I knew to be a prayer in Gaelic. 

 

He hugged me, then picked me up and twirled me around the room.

 

We kissed and I think we both felt a weight lifted off us.

 

We told everyone at dinner that he was getting better and there were cheers all around.

 

***

 

The next few days passed quietly.  I napped often and recovered from the birth.  I introduced  simple addition to Fergus and wee Jamie.  Fergus picked it up like a pro but wee Jamie was younger and struggled a bit.  Jenny sent for some slates for us so we wouldn’t go through so much paper.

 

We fed the four men that were staying in the barn as much as possible to help them get stronger. On the fifth day they decided to move on but Murtagh stayed.

 

Jamie and Ian were teaching Fergus Gaelic during the day and Fergus taught wee Jamie some French words.  Wee Jamie felt like they had their own secret language and no one told him all the adults in the house spoke French.

 

A week passed all too quickly and the babies were sleeping for three hours at a time.  I was sure Brianna would’ve slept longer if her brother didn’t wake her.  I was feeling much better; I wasn’t as tired anymore and my bleeding had stopped which helped my mood.

 

Jenny was waiting for me in the parlor after I came out from putting the babies back to sleep.  I was still amazed that a week had passed since their birth when I saw her looking eager.

 

She waited for me to sit down and then said, “I have an idea, and I hope ye agree with me.” She said and pulled out a coin purse and poured the contents on the table.

Jenny said, “Ian divided the coins ye gave us into four purses and we hid each purse.  This is the one from the priest hole and this is how I think we should use it.”  Jenny divided the coins up in small piles as she talked.  It was a sound plan, and it went like this:

~A small bonus to Mrs. Macnab, she’d been home all week because Rabbie was sick and a healer had been fetched.  She was a good kitchen maid and Jenny liked her.

~A bit larger pile was going to be a bonus for Mrs. Crook and wages for a new person Jenny already had in mind to take Mrs. Crook’s place 3 days a week until the spring.  Jenny was going to tell Mrs. Crook it was only until spring, her pay would stay the same and it was really because the other woman needed work.  Jenny was telling the new women it was because Mrs. Crook needed a little rest.  Both reasons were true.

~Two smaller piles of equal size were wages for two girls, around fourteen or fifteen to be housemaids three or four days a week each.  Jenny explained this would help the families of both girls and they would help with sewing, chores and childcare.

 

When Jenny finished outlining her plan she looked up at me.

“Jenny, I can pull my own weight, I can do chores and care for my own children.” I said and stood up,  taking this as an insult.

As luck would have it Mrs. Crook came around the corner holding little Maggie.  Jenny took the baby and asked her to get the laundry started.  She waited till the woman left and turned back to me.

“Sister, ye dinna ken what I meant, sit with me.”  I sat down and Jenny poured each of us a cup of the precious tea I had bought from Inverness.  It was weak but delicious; Jenny wanted to enjoy it as long as possible.  

Jenny took a breath, “Claire, sister, listen, ye always did pull ye’re own weight, and ye did the healing.” Jenny took a sip of tea and saw I calmed down a bit.

“I’m sorry Jenny, I still hurt from the birth and I know there is so much to do and I want to stay here.” Claire looked back at the table.  “You are so good at everything, sometimes I feel-” Claire was saying but Jenny cut her off.

“Claire, I ken, ye had a different job and I would feel what ye do if I had to do ye’re job.  It’s alright. This is ye’re home, ye dinna have to buy ye’re way in with money or chores.” Jenny paused here to look me in the eye and I understood she meant it.  “If we use this money to hire people it will help keep others from going hungry and we can use our time for other things, like healing and keeping ye’re bairns well and recovering. And sleeping, Claire, some days I feel as if I could sleep the whole day through! Do ye agree with me?” Jenny was holding one of my hands and looking at me with fierce love and I smiled.

“Thank you Jenny, it all sounds great.  How do we do it?”  I asked.

“You spend today resting and taking care of ye’re bairns.  I’ll tell Mrs. Crook to get dinner going and I'll work on the laundry.  Later I’m leaving wee Maggie with Mrs. Crook, then I’ll go out to get our plan started.”  Jenny said and stood up.

“Any plan for the rest?” I asked and looked at the small pile of coins that were left in the middle of the table.

“Weel, I was going to see if anyone had any animals for sale.  Pigs, cows or goats.  If we can afford more food I’m getting it.”  Jenny was smiling as she said this. 

~~~

Hours later I woke up to the baby's wailing.  I got up and started to change Brianna when Mrs. Crook knocked and I called to come in. Mrs. Crook came into the room,  picked up wee Murtagh and quickly changed his clout.  She picked up the previous dirty clout, waited for me to finish and took the clout with her and never spoke a word.  I thought about the last time we had been at Lallybroch...yes, Mrs. Crook was a quiet woman.  

The twins were changed, fed and lay on the bed looking at the world.  Mrs. Crook knocked on the door again.

“Yes Mrs. Crook?” I asked

“Aye, I brought ye some stew, milk and ale.”  Mrs. Crook sat the tray on the small desk.

“Thank you, it smells delicious.” I told her. 

Mrs. Crook paused by the beds looking at the babies.  “Ye baptized ye’re bairns yet?” She asked.

“No, I don't know when the priest will be in these parts.” I replied.

“Ye a healer, a Howdy,  ye can do a temporary baptism to protect them from changelings.” Mrs. Crook was looking at me as she spoke.

“A Howdy? I’m sorry I’m not familiar with the term.” I said. I was feeling a little judged but I tried to forget it before it showed on my face.

“Howdie, a handy woman, a midwife.” The older woman explained.

“Oh, ok, thank you Mrs. Crook, I will talk to Jamie about a baptism.”  I smiled at Mrs. Crook and smiled even more when the woman nodded her head and left the room.

“What do we think, hmmm?” I said in that soft singsong voice you use when speaking to infants. “Shall we ask for God’s blessings?”  I said to them,  I checked them both for fever, checked their mouths and listened to them breathe.  It seemed like wee Murtagh’s lungs were almost clear.  

Get over it Beauchamp, you just want it to be better.  

I got my little book and checked the time then recorded the date and time to start my notes.

  Murtagh James - lips are a red color -throat is a normal color-  no fever - lungs are still sounding better - has regular wet and dirty clouts

Brianna Ellen - appearance is as expected in a healthy infant - no fever - lungs sound fine - has regular wet and dirty clouts 

I looked up for a minute then added - starting to grab hair -. 

After the reporting was finished I ate everything on the tray that Mrs. Crook had brought.  She’d said it was stew and ale but there was also a hunk of bread, milk, several slices of cheese and ham and an apple.  It was delicious!

After that I took off my gown and laid down for a nap.

Hours later I woke up with Jamie kissing my neck.

“Mmmm.” I moaned a bit.

I opened my eyes to see his cock was at attention in his kilt.

“Sassenach, it’s dinner time for our bairns and then us.” Jamie whispered.

I immediately sat up thinking of the babies.  They were laying next to me in their drawer trying to find their hands to suck.  I stood up and kissed Jamie.

“How was your day?”  I asked as I pulled down the top of my shift and was trying to hold a baby in each arm.  Jamie helped me so I had a baby on each breast.

“Nothing in my day was as good as this moment right now,” Jamie said. He smiled and continued to watch me feed the babies.  

I told Jamie about what Mrs. Crook had said.

“Aye, I ken ye’re a Howdy and can do a blessing.  We can do that tonight if ye like, but I still want to do a proper baptism.” He said.

I nodded, not really knowing how I felt.  Neither of us believed in changelings but properly asking God to bless our Children seemed fine. 

The bairns were fed and changed.  Jamie was honing his skill at burping, but he was a little cautious when changing little Murtagh because,  “he pees every time I change him”.  

Jamie told her about swimming that day.

“Swimming! Jamie, it’s November!” I said with disapproval.

“I ken! It was more of a wild bath with some horseplay. Murtagh is skin and bones.”  Jamie finished sadly.

“Yes, I noticed, but we can feed him up.” I said and smiled at Jamie, trying to relieve his concern.

 

I thought about giving little Murtagh another shot of penicillin before we went to dinner, but I decided to wait and make sure he kept on the mend, he might not need any more and I hated giving him the shots anyway.

At dinner I noticed Murtagh did look considerably happier than he had that morning.  After all the food was brought out the table almost groaned again.

“This is ye’re table every night?”  Murtagh asked Jenny.

“It didna used to be, Claire brought a lot to us.”  Jenny said and winked at Claire.

“Weel, I thank ye both, this is more food than I saw in a week.” Murtagh smiled.

“Speaking of what Claire brought to us, a few things are changing.”  Jenny told everyone about the two new girls coming to help out.  The seamstress was staying until Christmas and Murtagh was getting new clothes next so Claire was to take his measurements before bed, but adding a bit because of the plan to feed him up.  Mrs. Crook was taking the three days off a week and was happy to give work to someone else.  The temporary woman was Mrs. Barr and she would be here for a week with Mrs. Crook to get used to the work and Mrs. McNab would be back in a few days.

“It sounds good, I’m glad we can give more people work.” Ian said.

“I hope ye’re still glad tomorrow.” Jenny said and took a bite of the squash.

Ian put his fork down and looked at his wife.  “Why?”

“Because six cows, eight goats, and twelve pigs are getting here.” Jenny said and smiled at her husband.

Jamie and Murtagh both let out a little gasp.

“Wife, where will I put this stock?” Ian asked with a bit of panic.

“The barn is repaired, why not there?  Also some chickens, about twenty I think.” Jenny smiled and kept eating.  “And, everyone delivering the animals will be staying the night, in the dooryard,” Jenny added when Jamie and Murtagh stopped eating to look at her.  “So I figured we’d cook up three or four chickens and serve them with potatoes and squash.”  Jenny smiled at me.

“Murtagh, please eat.  We need to feed you up.” I said gently to Murtagh who’d not picked his fork back up.

Murtagh laughed a bit and said to Jamie, “If we stay up tonight we could build...I dinna ken, something to help give the new stock shelter. “  He took another bite as Jamie nodded.

Ian added, “ I’ll help.” 

It was at this point Jenny said, “Great idea!  I have hired four men to come tonight to help ye.  I gave them some food, but ye’re to give them the coin after the work is done,”  Jenny signaled for more wine and Mrs. Crook came in with a wide smile.  No doubt she’d been listening to this exchange.

Ian, Jamie and Murtagh all looked at each other.  It was silently decided to not say anything to Jenny about what was obviously her plan.

“Where are wee Jamie and Fergus?” Murtagh asked.

Mrs. Crook answered, “They were fed and sent up to nap so they can help tonight.”

Ian looked at his wife but didn’t say anything.

And so it was a long night ahead. I took Murtagh’s measurements for the seamstress then I said goodnight. Jenny and I slept so we could care for the bairns the next day.  Jamie and Murtagh came up with fake names to give to the men who came to help.  Thankfully Jenny had chosen four men Jamie and Murtagh had never met.

The seven men built a large three sided shelter.  It was well built even though it was constructed at night.  Ian, Jamie and Murtagh could get the fourth wall built within the week.  Wee Jamie and Fergus kept three fires burning so they’d have heat and light.  They also ran to the kitchen to get tea and food Mrs. Crook had left out.  

In the morning they all had breakfast together with the family except for Jamie and I.  We ate a private breakfast in our bedroom.

“I don’t think I will ever get tired of that sight.” Jamie said in a soft voice, watching me feed the babies.  I felt my cheeks get a little pink.  I decided to talk about the babies to keep us in ‘safe’ territory since I knew I had weeks to wait before we could be together. 

“Murtagh is even better this morning.  He’s eating even more.  It’s slow but I think he’ll be fine.” I said with quiet hope in my voice.

“Do ye ken if he needs more medicine or nay?” Jamie asked while burping Brianna.

“I don’t think so, but we’ll see.” I said and Jamie nodded.  “I was thinking about something else…” I gathered my courage.

 “Speak Sassenach.” Jamie said firmly.

“If I had to take one of the children back to my time, if they need something we can’t give them, they don’t have birth certificates or-” Jamie cut me off. 

“What’s a birth certificate?” He asked.

“It establishes when and where a person was born.” I explained.

“Can’t they tell you when and where they were born?” He asked, logically. 

I sighed.  This was one of those issues that made no sense to someone from this time.

“Do ye want to go back?” Jamie asked quietly.

“No, of course not.” I said and Jamie let the breath out he was holding. “What I want to do is write a letter and leave it buried by the starting stone for the druids.”

“At Craigh na dun?” Jamie asked.

“Yes, it’s my best chance at getting word to Mrs. Graham.  She can get word to Frank and he will do what I ask.” I said quickly, glad to have my plan out.

“What is it ye want Frank to do?” Jamie asked with a fire starting in his eyes.

“You’re not going to like it.” I warned.

“I already dinna like it.” Jamie replied.

“If Brianna or Murtagh ever have any severe illness or something that I have to go through the stones to cure then they need an identity.  Frank can give them an identity.”  I said and hoped he wouldn’t ask more questions.

“That sounds fine.  But there is something about this ye’re keeping from me, what is it?” Jamie was looking in my eyes now and I told him what I knew he wouldn’t like.

“Frank will have to claim them as his children.” I said.

“Hmm.” Jamie made the noise all Scots know how to make.  “Weel, I dinna like it Sassenach, but that was the original plan. I ken it makes sense.”  Jamie answered.

“That means give them his name.” I said to be sure it was clear.

“I ken.” Jamie almost growled.

I let out a breath I didn’t know I held.

“Oh, thank you Jamie.  How will we get it to the stones?”  I asked as I thought about what to write.  

“Murtagh and I can set off after dinner and be back in a few days' time.”  Jamie replied and yawed. 

I felt relieved, but then froze and thought about Jamie and Murtagh gone, “Is it a dangerous trip for you?” I asked.  “It doesn’t have to be soon, we can wait on it.” I said.

“Dinna fash Sassenach.  It’s best to do it and get it doon with. We sleep during the day and travel at night.  I’ve made the trip to Inverness a few times since Culloden.” Jamie said.

Jamie kissed me, then the babies, then me again.  “Write ye’re letter and draw a map of which stone to bury it under.” Jamie kissed me once more then lay on our bed that was still warm.  He watched me get dressed then said, “Sassenach, dinna take the bairns, I’ll wake when they do.” 

Jenny was up and set up in the dooryard doing laundry so she was available when people started delivering the stock she’d bought.  She already had bags of potatoes to give so more people could grow them.  She also had a bag of green vegetables for everyone, but this was from me and unlikely to catch on.  Jenny understood why I knew these things so she trusted me, but her countrymen would not trust a stranger, let alone a Sassenach.  I was to stay inside today and Jenny was staying outside.  The vegetable and potato recommendations were to look like they came from Jenny.

I set myself up in the dining room and started my letter.

To Mrs. Violet Graham in the Year of our Lord nineteen hundred and forty eight.

Violet, I am happy to be writing to you, I hope you get this but I know it is a long shot.  The thought of you makes me smile. I made it, I’m here.  And it’s so beautiful and everything I needed.   I do miss you and our weekly tea.

I hope Roger is doing well and has no ill effects.  He is such a good boy.

I gave birth and my children are mostly healthy.  Brianna Ellen Julia and  Murtagh James Fergus were born in the highlands on November twenty third.  They are both beautiful but Murtagh has a whistling wheeze I am treating.  

I have a big favor to ask.  Would you please let Frank know?  I am hoping he will record their births in case I need to bring them for medical reasons.

I wish you were here Violet, I miss you.

With much love

CF

 

I brushed my tears away.  I really did miss Violet; she’d been the only real friend I’d had in the twentieth century.  I was still deep in my thoughts when I heard one of the babies fussing, and I tiptoed back into the bedroom.  Murtagh had been fussing and I picked him up and went into the dressing room.  

I automatically felt his forehead for fever.  He was a little warm but likely from his aggravation as he was acting like he hadn’t eaten in days.  I opened my dress and held him to nurse.  I had to keep waking him as he ate greedily for a few minutes then fell asleep.  His clout wasn’t wet but I reminded herself he’d been changed not that long  ago.  When he was nursing I wondered when I would stop worrying… probably never.

Once he was burped I wandered into the kitchen carrying him and got some goat milk to drink and spoke a bit with Mrs. Crook.  She seemed to be looking forward to her days off; she told me about the things she planned to do and the people she was going to visit.

After I finished the milk Mrs. Crook made my fenugreek tea and I had that too.    

Mrs Crook was caring for Maggie, and the boys were sleeping so I went to take a nap too after little Murtagh was asleep. Jamie stirred a bit but he pulled me to him and we had a few peaceful hours before the twins were awake again. 

 Jamie got up with me to feed them and he changed their clouts and burped them.  I think he was happy to have a job to do.  

Jenny did well and her day was fruitful.   At dinner Jenny told them about what transpired and how she also got an extra goat, and other food. I was able to report little Murtagh was doing much better and I expected him to be healed within a week.  Fergus and wee Jamie had trouble sitting still and were playing at the table.   Jenny punished them by assigning them to take their dinner at the children's table for a week.  Fergus balked and looked at me, but I shook my head and said, “You heard your punishment.” 

Fergus sighed and said, “Yes Madam Murrey, I’m sorry.” Jenny nodded.

We went out to the dooryard after dinner to interact with everyone and see how it was going.  There was a fire and all the men were sitting around it talking.  We brought whiskey out and toasted to Scotland.

The next day was calm and I helped Jenny with the chores as usual.  I told her about our plan of  Jamie and Murtagh going to bury a letter and I could see she disapproved but all she said was, “If ye feel it needed, then I understand Claire.” Then she was quiet for a while.

“What is it Jenny?” I asked.

“I ken ye love us, and ye love my brother.  But this is twice ye’ve brought up something to do wit going back.  Do ye want to go?” Jenny asked me.

“No!” I said, a little too loudly. I took a breath. “When little Murtagh was sick I thought about going back and it nearly ripped me apart.  Because of that I thought that if I ever have to take one of them back for health reasons it would be a good idea there was a record of them there, that’s all the letter is, asking them to get a record made of their births. I don’t want to leave.” I said the last bit firmly.

“Aye, good.” Jenny said and smiled at me.

That night we discussed Jamie and Murtagh going to the stones and Jamie had obviously asked Murtagh about it already.  Jenny asked if they would take a bit of money and see about getting another food order delivered and Jamie said they would.

Fergus was on the steps but he heard us discussing it and he came into the dining room.

“Milord, are you leaving?” Fergus asked.

“Just fer a few days.” Jamie said.

“Without me? Who will protect you?” Fergus asked.

“I’m going with him, dinna fash.” Murtagh said.

“Milord, please, may I go too? More protection is good, no?” Fergus asked.

I could tell Jamie was impressed that he was asking.  He looked at me and I looked at Fergus, then back to Jamie and gave a slight nod.  Jamie looked to Murtagh who also gave a slight nod.

“There will be a lot of walking, we can’t take a horse.” Jamie said.

“That’s alright, I won’t complain.” Fergus said eagerly.

“Alright my son, go git ready.” Jamie said.

“Thank you Milord.” Fergus said.

“I’ll go git my bedroll.” Murtagh said and got up.

Jenny and Jamie talked about what to buy in Inverness and I went to check on the babies.  Little Murtagh and Brianna were awake and making cooing sounds.

There was a knock at the door and Jamie, Fergus and Murtagh came into the room carrying beds for the twins.  “Wow, those are beautiful, thank you!” I said and they sat them down.  They were two wooden cradles that rocked and they were wonderfully made.

“Aye Sassenach, they turned out well.” He said proudly.

I looked at Murtagh who seemed to be bursting with pride.  “Aye, they did. I had to help when I found the bairns were sleepin’ in a drawer.” He said, and Jamie looked at him.

“They came early.” Jamie said in protest of the ribbing he’d just received.

I thanked all three of them.

***

Murtagh went to the kitchen to get the packed bags of food for the trip to the stones.  I hugged Fergus, kissed his forehead and told him to be safe. Jamie kissed the babies and then me.

I gave him my letter and the map of the stones so he would clearly know which rock to bury it under.  Jamie helped me seal it and wrap it in more paper so it would have a chance of making it.  “Please be safe.  If it is too dangerous just come back, it’s not that important to do right now.” I said.

“Dinna fash Sassenach, we will be fine.  I will see you in a few days.” Jamie said and kissed me again for a long moment.  “Are you sure wee Murtagh is getting better?”

“Yes, everything seems- why?” I asked suspiciously 

“Sassenach, I dinna want to leave if there is the smallest chance… he is only a wane…” Jamie couldn’t complete the sentence.

“He is going to be fine.  He is better every day, just come back safely so he has a father.” I said and kissed my husband.  It was a long kiss that roused Jamie.  

He put his arms around me and said, “ Ye smell like flowers, the bairns and yer milk.” He said and inhaled deeply.  

“You know,” I whispered in his ear, “ I can’t wait for you to be inside me.” Jamie held me tighter and I heard the low growl.  

“I canna wait either Sassenach, we will be up all night when you are well.” Jamie said and took my mouth in a powerful kiss.  “How long will it be?” He whispered.

“Four to six weeks after birth, depending on different things.” I said.

“Four to six weeks?” Jamie had taken a step back and said this loudly in astonishment.

There was an irksome giggle at the door and we both turned to see Jenny.  “I can see how it is between ye two, I hope it is closer to four weeks to keep ye both sane.”  She said and walked away laughing.

Jamie, Fergus and Murtagh set off that night and made it safely to the stones in a few days.  They buried the note, went to Inverness and turned towards home.  They had plenty of food and in the week they were gone. Murtagh and Jamie also hunted to be sure they would continue their large meals. It felt good for them to be living rough and hunting food; it gave them a sense of their old selves.  It was a time of healing for Murtagh.  I saw it in him when they came home.

On the sixth day they were camped about 5 miles from Lallybroch.  It was high noon and Jamie woke from the light and saw Murtagh was already up.  He was a few feet up a tree and gave Jamie the signal to be quiet and get down.  Fearing redcoats he did and drew his weapons, looking around for Fergus.

Jamie heard the men, about 15 feet away.  They were casually talking and peeing.

“Have you heard anything about the way she looks?  Having twins must take it out of a woman, they are weak to begin with.” The older man shoved the younger man a bit and laughed.

“I don’t care how weak she is, she had twins, Father, she’s English and she looked nice and heavy.  I don’t want a wispy wife.” The younger man replied.  Jamie’s ears cocked in at twins, English and heavy.  A few years ago Claire would’ve been described as healthy but since everyone was starving or close to it opinions changed.

Jamie looked at Murtagh but he shook his head.  So there was no sign of Claire.  Jamie backed up slowly after the two despicable men finished their piss and went back to the road.

Murtagh and Jamie watched the men get back in a coach and head in the direction of Lallybroch.

“Do ye ken-” Murtagh started but got cut off.

“They were talking about Claire the bastards.” Jamie said from behind his gritted teeth. “Where’s Fergus?” He asked.

“Fergus is safe and on the ground about 10 feet that way, he heard them. And ye need to calm down, Jenny and Claire can handle that disgusting pair.  At nightfall-” Murtagh was cut off again.

“No, now.  I have to get to her.”  Jamie growled.

“Do ye nae think she can handle them?  Jenny and Ian are there.” Murtagh said.  He was trying to be the voice of reason.

“Claire is MY wife! I will protect her.  I thought I had lost her forever once, I willna go through that again.” Jamie said 

 Jamie went to get Fergus, then they walked back to where they had been sleeping to break camp.  Murtagh sighed, knowing he couldn’t talk him out of it.  He just hoped he could keep them safe.

In a few hours they made it back to Lallybroch.***

***Claire’s POV from the day Murtagh and Jamie had left.

I lay awake for more than an hour after Jamie left.  I’d gotten used to sleeping with him again and it was difficult without Jamie in my bed.  Instead I decided to get on my knees and prayed in gratitude.  My husband was alive.  I’d given birth to twins in 1745 and lived.  Brianna was fine and Murtagh was better every day.  My family knew where I was from and still wanted me to live there.  I wasn’t the praying person that Jamie was but I felt so lucky and it felt nice to run through it and say thank you. When I finished I watched my babies sleep.  They were so small. 

After a while I was relaxed enough and got back in bed and even slept.  The next few days were slow; I basically took care of the babies, ate and slept.  Murtagh’s new clothes were finished and ready for a final fitting.  I started knitting stockings for Jamie and kept close care of Murtagh and Brianna.  I would carry a baby and move one of the cradles room to room by placing it on a long piece of cloth or rug  and pulling it.  Jenny would help me but she didn’t say anything about me keeping the babies with me.

The two girls started work for the family and the first thing they did was the laundry.  There was a lot of laundry.  

On the sixth day Jamie and Murtagh had been gone, I woke up to the twins wailing for breakfast.  I picked them both up and was feeding them both (At the same time as I managed that solo now) when Jenny knocked on my bedroom door then entered.

“Clever” Jenny said as she saw both babies nursing at once.  She hadn’t had twins but she thought if she did this was the most efficient way to nurse.

“Thank you.” I said with a smile on my face.  I saw the letter Jenny was holding.

“What’s up?” I asked and hoped it wasn’t about Jamie getting caught.

“Ah wele, those disgusting Seafields found out ye had ye’re bairns and…” Jenny paused as she opened the letter, “want to stop in for luncheon to give their regards.” Jenny finished.

“Okay, so dark colors again, what else?” I asked Jenny.  

She thought for a moment then said, “Cradles in the parlor.  I dinna think they will be too comfortable with bairns nearby.”  Jenny had that faraway look.  I thought she was likely picturing lunch and thinking about how it would go.

“Can you cry if we need you to?”  Jenny asked but then answered for me, “What am I saying, ye can’t hide anything.”  Jenny said.

“I might be able to if I don’t need to look at anyone.” I replied.  I wanted to be helpful in having them leave early.

“I’m going to talk to Ian.  Strictly speaking, since ye dinna have a Father or Brother alive now, Ian can speak for you in matters.  I just have to convince him to come to lunch.” With that Jenny turned around and went, presumably, in search of her husband.  

Brianna finished nursing first and I put Murtagh down on the blanket so I could burp his sister.  He was fussy about it but I'd learned Brianna needed to burp quickly.  After Brianna burped I lay her down next to her brother.  When I started nursing Murtagh again he acted like he was starving.

“Oh please.” I said smiling.  

There was a knock on the door and I said, “Enter”

It was Garia, the older of the two girls that just started working at Lallybroch,

Garia did a small curtsy and said “Good morning Mam.  The Mistress sent me to help you dress.”  Garia had several garments with her.

“Uh, sure, what do you have there?” I asked, a little concerned. 

~Twenty minutes later I was sitting in the kitchen eating breakfast.  I’d said no to the gray dress but was wearing the navy one and had the large black shawl wrapped around my shoulders and wore the black fingerless gloves.

Jenny came down the steps with Maggie in her arms and Ian was right behind her.

“Why don’t you decline the visit? Why do we need to keep appearances with them?” Ian asked.

“Because they are friendly with the English, I don’t want us to have to put up with redcoats anymore than once a month. Besides, we kept Claire away during the redcoat visit, I don't want them to think anything untoward is going on.”  Jenny sat down in the kitchen after nodding to me.

“Good Morning” I said politely, and Ian nodded at me.

“Fine, I’ll be in for lunch and I’ll be disagreeable to selling Claire to the highest bidder.” Ian said. He grabbed a bannock and left.

At the door there was a disturbance and Jenny went to see who it was.  When she came back her fake smile was in place.

“Claire, these people are from the Seafield household.  They are going to set up in the dining room to be sure we have a proper lunch.” Jenny said and I saw she was inwardly seething.  All seven people were introduced, then Jenny and I moved to the parlor to knit and sew.

Chapter 8: Seafields and employees

Summary:

The Seafields make their visit, Jamie and Murtagh return, and a man cuts wood.

Notes:

Thank you for reading!

Diana Gabaldon owns all rights to Outlander
edited 06/03/2023

Chapter Text

**Claire POV**

After about an hour the babies started fussing and I was going to move to the bedroom, but I went ahead and nursed in the living room with a blanket over me.  It felt very freeing.  

Robina (the younger girl we'd hired) came in and took Murtagh to change his clout.  After Brianna was fed and burped I switched with the girl so Murtagh could be fed.  After Robina was out of earshot I said, “It was a great idea to get help, thank you.”

“Aye, it was your money.”  Jenny replied, a little uncomfortable with the gratitude.

“OUR money, because we are family.” I corrected.

“Okay, our money, anyway it was well spent. We have extra time, plenty to fill our bellies through the winter, and other families will have money to help.” Jenny said and went back to mending a ripped shirt of Ian’s.

“Did you get your measurements taken this morning?” I asked.  The seamstress they hired was to make a new dress for Jenny.

“Aye, and a long time she took wit’ it.” Jenny complained.

I smiled.  Murtagh was finished and I burped him.  I was holding him and just sat watching him, still amazed that Jamie and I made something so perfect..

“I could watch my bairns for hours too.” Jenny said seeing me.

“Babies are so beautiful, it's hard not to watch them sometimes.” I said, still with my eyes on Murtagh.  I got up and put him in the cradle that was next to me and then watched Brianna for a while.

There was a knock at the door and Jenny and I thought the Seafields had come early.  Robina got the door and brought a Mr. Liston to the parlor door.

“Good day to you Mistress Murray, and Mistress Fraser.”  The man bowed.

They exchanged pleasantries and Jenny told Robina to take him to the kitchen to give him a good breakfast as he was working today.  I kept quiet but hoped Jenny would explain.

“Ye can ask ye ken.” Jenny said.

“Okay, what is he here for?” I had put down my knitting and sat up to ask this.

“Just to do a little work.  Ian is likely busy with all the new stock I bought and the chicken coop needs mending and more wood should be chopped.  I think we’ll have chicken for dinner as the coop is near to burstin.”  Jenny said as she kept sewing.

I went back to knitting.  I was just glad it wasn’t someone here for Jamie.  This post-Culloden outlaw way of life came with a lot of worry.

Mr. Liston finished his breakfast and Jenny went to the kitchen.  She let Mrs. Crook know to fetch Mr. Liston for lunch as he would be working until dinner time.  Then Jenny led him to the back yard and showed him where the wood to cut was located and pointed out the problem with the chicken coop.  Mr. Liston went to work.

Jenny came back in and let me know there was no sign of them yet.  I put my feet on the little shelf on the cradle, put my knitting down and closed my eyes. 

The next thing I knew Jenny was shaking me and calling my name.  “Claire, come on, we have guests.”  I looked at Jenny who was standing over me moving her elbows like it was taking a lot of work to wake me.

“What the dev-” I started to say but was cut off.

“Claire, the Seafields are here.”  Jenny said with a wave of the arm.  I got up, curtsied and made pleasantries.  

The Viscount took my arm and suggested ‘a short turn around the dooryard’.

“Thank you very much for the offer Viscount but I must decline.  If one of my babies wakes up I do not want to be far.” I replied.  Who took ‘turns around the dooryard’ in December anyway?

“Of course Madame Fraser, the twins! May we have a look at the happy arrival?” The Viscount kissed my hand then looked around.

I put my hand on the cradle, in case the Viscount tried to touch one of my babies I could slap it.

“Oh, they are right here! They both look healthy, and you look well, how wonderful.” The Viscount was mentally checking his requirements for a wife; healthy -check, able to have children - check.

“Are they boys or girls?” The Viscount asked as he got to another requirement,  having a son.

“One of each.” I said loudly.  I took pleasure in being able to surprise and displease  the Viscount.

“Oh how wonderful!” The viscount replied.

Damn, I thought.  

Jenny had asked Garia to go find Ian and he was finally there.  After that Garia and Robina were going to stay upstairs.  Jenny didn’t know what the Seafields would think about them working here, but that was a decision for their families to make.  

Ian and the Earl had made polite introductions and pleasantries.  They were both watching the exchange between Claire and the Viscount.

“You look brilliant for giving birth to two children so recently.”  The Viscount said softly but the whole room had heard.  Ian was staring at Jenny with raised brows, Jenny stared back with her ‘I told you so face’.

“May I ask how old you are? You look very young.” The Viscount said while leering at me.

“Now, a gentleman never asks a woman her age.” I replied and tried to smile.  I figured the less information the Viscount had on me the better.

The Viscount reached for a piece of my hair and to be sure I didn’t smack him Jenny hurried me out of the room in the pretense of checking on lunch.

I was about the go back but I saw Ian had taken my stance in front of the cradles.  

“You can’t smack him.” Jenny said after she looked around for the Seafields luncheon staff.

“Why not? An English woman would slap an English man for touching her without permission surely!” I replied a little too loudly.

 

“Do you think the women are talking of us?” Viscount Seafield asked when he heard the murmur of voices.

“Absolutely.” Ian replied.  He was still a little surprised that his wife hadn’t exaggerated.  If anything she glossed over the issue.

“Hmm…” The Viscount said as he looked around Ian to the babies. “Is the red hair on her side or the Fraser side?” He asked with an obvious distaste.  

“The Fraser side.” Ian answered.  “May I ask your intention here?  Are you just visiting or is there something more?” Ian wanted to get straight to the point; daylight hours were burning.

The Viscount and the Earl looked at each other.  The Earl answered, “Something more.”

Ian sat down in the chair Claire had sat in so he could be near his niece and nephew.  The Earl sat down across from him and the Viscount stood and kept peeking around the corner like a child waiting for a cookie.  The Earl spoke first,

“My son wants Claire.”

Ian waited for him to elaborate but that was all the Earl said.  He thought of his good friend and brother.  What would Jamie do?  Punch him?  Laugh?  Have faith in Claire’s cleverness?  Ian thought it might be a few of the above, but thought he should follow his own wife’s advice.

“Well, my sister has no Father or Brother, so I speak for her now.” Ian paused and thought about the best way to put it.  “She is heartbroken over Jamie, him fighting at Culloden and losing him. She is not ready to think about loving someone else.  I don’t think she will be ready for a long time.”  There, that should do it, Ian thought.

“We are not talking about love here,” The Earl laughed into his hand, “My son wants to marry Madame Fraser and have children with her.  He wants lots of children.  We can keep her fed and care for her future children, we would of course be leaving these with you.”  The Earl gestured to the cradle with the twins in it.

Ian thought for a moment before doing anything.  I have to remember to apologize to Jenny. He thought and stood.

“I think this visit has gone on enough.  I can’t believe you sir! Thinking a Mother would leave two of her own babies behind, I had no idea good English people could be so callous! Good day sir.” Ian made his bow and went to the door to hold it open.

Jenny was trying not to laugh and to sound meek, “Oh no husband, they brought lunch, we were going to eat together.”  

“Pack it up! Please leave immediately.” Ian was standing his ground.

“Father! What happened? I want her!” The Viscount yelled to his Father.  I was looking at the floor trying not to laugh because he sounded like a petulant child.  Just then there was a commotion on the other side of the house, but the little group tried to ignore it and focus on the matter at hand.

The Viscount was being led out the door by his Father.  “But look at her!  Look how meek she is!” The Viscount yelled while being pushed out the door.

“I meant no offense.” The Earl said to Ian.

Ian was shaking his head, “I just can’t believe such good English people…” Ian trailed off.

The Earl yelled for his servants and told them to just leave the food.  After they left there was considerable yelling in the dooryard.

“I need to stay here in case they try again, can you please see what the commotion was?” Ian said to Jenny and I.  

We didn’t have far to go to see Murtagh sitting on top of Jamie on the floor.

“Claire, Jenny, halo.” Murtagh said pleasantly.  “Are the English gone?” When Jenny nodded, Murtagh got up and off Jamie. 

Jamie got up and walked to me and put his arms around me for a bone crushing hug.

Jenny smiled and told them to stay put.  She went out to see that the Seafields had left completely.  

“What is going on?” I asked when Jamie released me.

“Ye’re husband wants to cause a kebbie lebbie by surrendering.” Murtagh said.  Jenny yelled that it was clear and Murtagh went to investigate the ‘delightful’ smell.

“I thought ye were being taken.” Jamie whispered to me.  He held both my hands and put his face in my hair to smell it.  Jamie put his arms around me again and held me to his chest.  “I was trying to get to the living room to offer to trade myself for ye.”  Jamie said and loosened his hold on me a bit to kiss but I drew back.

“What?” I looked at him like he'd gone mad.  “Don’t ever do that!”  How do you think I would survive if you died because you traded yourself for me?” I yelled in a whispered hush.

Jamie smiled at me in my outrage.  “Of course I would trade myself for ye.  Ye’re my wife, and anyway I dinna want to live without ye ever again.”  With that Jamie kissed me.

I kissed him back but he knew I was angry. Now was just not the right time to go into it. 

He had his hands on my back and ran them down to my arse that he adored and squeezed.  He was nuzzling my neck.

This went on for a few minutes before I pushed him away a bit and in a throaty voice said, “Jamie, I can’t yet.  The babies are only ten days old.” I breathed deeply a few times.

“I know Sassenach, “ He said in a voice that sounded deeper than my own.  “But I missed ye verre much.” He said and smiled. Then he kissed me again.

Fergus came inside and I greeted him warmly and thanked him for keeping them safe. 

We checked on the bairns who were both still sound asleep and then joined everyone else in the dining room.  Ian and Jenny told Jamie and Murtagh what had transpired with the Seafields.  Murtagh stopped eating occasionally to nod and give his Scottish sound of approval or disapproval, it was open to interpretation.

Fergus called them disgusting and traitors and I smiled my approval.  

I ate a bit.  The food was very salty and oddly spiced.  I asked why the carrots had garlic, onions, rosemary, root ginger, cloves and nutmeg.

“I think the Seafields are trying to show off their wealth.”  Jenny explained as she watched me pick through my food.  “They were showing you the variety of their kitchens.”

“Well, “ I tried very hard and swallowed a bite. “I don’t care for it.”  I put my fork down.

“Why don’t I go get Garia and Robina?” I said and stood up, looked at Jenny who nodded.  They’d asked the girls to go upstairs and nap or do whatever they wanted to keep them away from the Seafields.  

They were both sound asleep when I knocked on the door.  I looked at them, smiled and closed the door.  They really weren’t needed right now, I had just wanted an excuse to leave that terrible lunch and I didn’t think they’d really take a nap.

I paused on my way down the hallway.  My cramps were getting worse, which was probably good I thought.  I kept thinking about Jamie wanting to give himself up for me and wondered how to broach that conversation.  

I started down the stairs thinking about what made it okay to resume sexual relations after childbirth.  Was it only time to heal or were there specific things a doctor would look for before giving the go ahead to resume normal activities?  I yawned widely and wondered if I could get a nap.

Just then wee Jamie and Fergus raced past me and I fell down the stairs.

Chapter 9: Staying Still

Notes:

I was very eager to write this chapter so I hope there is not to many grammatical mistakes.
Diana Gabaldon owns all rights to Outlander.

06/11/2023 Edited

Chapter Text

(Still December 3rd, 1746)

“Milord” Fergus called from Claire’s side.

“Mama” Jamie called, to mimic Fergus.

Grown up Jamie came in eating a chicken leg and ready to tease Fergus about pulling him away from his lunch, and Jenny had followed him. He saw Claire crumpled up in a pile on the floor at the bottom of the stairs.  He immediately dropped the chicken leg and went to her side.  He looked at Jenny, “What do I do?”

Jenny closed her mouth and knelt at the other side of Claire.  Jenny felt down Claire’s neck to be sure it wasn’t broken, then felt her head and there was a large bump raising.  Then Jenny looked and felt at each of her arms and legs.  Her right ankle was the size of an apple and Jenny turned to glare at Fergus and wee Jamie.

“What happened?”  Jenny shook her head as soon as they started, “One at a time, Fergus first.”

Fergus went on to tell how they rushed down the steps beside her.  She had been bent over but he didn’t notice until they were past Claire and the next second she was falling.  

Jenny stood up and took her brother's hand; he’d made a fist and Jenny was worried.   But Jenny knew it was just an accident.  “You and wee Jamie go outside, there will be a punishment later.  I’ve told ye not to run on the stairs.”  But Fergus just stood there.

In a voice as small as Jenny had ever heard Fergus said, “Will Milady be okay?”

“Of course, she just needs a little time.  Get yourself outside and get ye’re chores doon!”  Jenny said, hoping she was right.  Fergus left.

“Let’s get her into bed.” Jenny motioned for Ian to help but Jamie picked Claire up himself and started walking to their bedroom.  Jenny quietly asked Ian to get Daria and Robina to watch over Maggie, Katherine, Murtagh and Brianna.

Jamie lay Claire on the bed they shared.  He looked his wife over himself and saw that except for the swollen ankle and the fast growing goose egg on her head she seemed fine.

“Did ye check her breathing?” Murtagh asked.

“What?” Jamie said, not really understanding what he heard.

Murtagh moved to the bed and put his hand right above Claire’s mouth and nose as he’d seen Claire herself do multiple times.  “She is breathing.”  He put his fingers on her wrist to look for her pulse like Claire had shown him once.  “Her pulse is strong.”

Jenny stopped looking at Claire and turned.  “Mrs. Crook,” Jenny saw she was  hovering at the door, ”Can you please get me something cold for the lump on her head?” Mrs. Crook turned immediately and went to fetch something.  She returned with a rag filled with a bit of ice.  Jenny had no idea how she got it but was grateful.

Mrs. Crook went to the kitchen to start on dinner.  Jenny and Jamie watched Claire for a while but she hadn’t woken up.  Murtagh was watching Claire then watching Jamie.  Jenny got impatient and looked around for something to help.

“What are ye looking for?” Jamie asked.

“Something she brought from the future!” Jenny whispered furiously. “ There must be some better cure for a fall down the stairs instead of waiting!”   Jenny opened drawers and went though things but found nothing but clothes, Claire’s journal, and cloth.  “I’m going to check the priest hole.” Jenny announced and left the room.  Murtagh followed her out the door and went to his room.  He sat on his bed and started praying.

Jamie got up and closed the door about half.  He went back over to the bed but he didn’t sit on the side this time, the hell with giving someone their space, he thought.  

Jamie lay on their bed and curled himself around his wife nuzzling her neck and, softly and slowly whispered in her ear. “Sassenach, open ye’re beautiful whiskey eyes so’as I may tell ye how much I love ye.”  She didn’t move and he rubbed his cheek against hers. 

“Enough resting mo chridhe, mo caraidh, mo luaidh (My heart, my friend, my darling).  Please open ye’re eyes and tell me ye’re fine. Tell me to hush, I don't care.” Jamie grasped her hand and kissed her forehead.  She didn’t respond and silent tears ran down Jamie’s face.

Meanwhile in the priesthole Jenny was growing frustrated.  What the hell good was the damn future if it couldn’t help?  Jenny’s thought process stopped as she opened the last leather bag she’d found that was so full it was practically bursting.  Seeds.  Hundreds and hundreds of seeds.  Jenny pulled open the paper with ‘Jenny and Ian’ on it.  It was a letter written with an odd quill.  Jenny closed the letter… should she read it?  No, probably not.  She opened the letter and read,

Jenny,

I miss you very much.  I miss you and Ian and my nieces and nephew.  I miss home.  I am pregnant and seeing a doctor often but I wish I was there with my family.  I wish I was there with you so we could help each other.   I wish I was there with you to mourn Jamie together.  The odd thing is he doesn’t feel gone to me, maybe because I am carrying his children.  

I pray for you everyday, for you and Ian and your children.  I hope Fergus made it back to you.  I know he is a handful but he is very dear to me.  

I made my plans to get back home. In the first hour I was in this time I knew I wouldn’t stay. I want to raise Jamie’s children at LallyBroch where he was raised.  I want to be with my family.  I think about you often.  Where I am, a woman has much more freedom and you would have a lot of fun.  For a while.

I am staying for a bit, just to be sure the babies are healthy.  After Faith I am a little nervous.  But I will have these children at home with my family and my Sister helping me.

I have purchased as much seed as would fit in this bag and I plan to give it to you and Ian at Christmas or Hogmanay, whichever is more appropriate.  These seeds should be hardier than what you are used to.   I know it is harsh times in Scotland right now but it is my plan to do as much as I can to offset that.  I hope the potatoes helped.  I hope everyone at Lallybroch is healthy. I know there is much to recommend the future (like penicillin and hot showers) but none of it matters a bit without my family.

I have the days counted till I can be back home.  I miss you so much.

With much love,

CF

Jenny wiped her eyes.  The quill Claire had used was very clean, very interesting.  All these great things in the future and she came back here, even thinking Jamie was gone.  Jenny decided she wouldn’t ruin her surprise and put everything back.  Jenny left the priest hole and stood in the hallway for a minute thinking...maybe the answer wasn't medicine...and had an eureka moment.   Jenny went back to the hallway by Claire’s room.

“Move the bairns into Claire’s room.” Jenny told Ian.  She took Katherine from Ian’s arms and gave her to Garia.

“Change her clout then give her lunch, and eat yourselves.” Jenny nodded at Robina too.

Jenny followed Ian moving the cribs into Jamie and Claire’s bedroom.  Jamie was kneeling by the bed praying now.  It had been almost an hour and Claire wasn’t awake yet.  Murtagh heard the noise and was standing in the doorway.

Jenny waited for Ian to set the cradle down and she picked up wee Murtagh.  She lay him down on the bed next to Claire and started unwrapping his blankets that were tight around him.

“What are ye dooin to the bairn?” Murtagh asked from the doorway.  He’d been watching from a distance but he’d grown curious.  Jamie looked up when he heard Murtagh’s voice.

“Encouraging the language Mothers know.” Jenny said and continued even though wee Murtagh was fussing now.  “If Claire is capable of waking, I think this would do it.”   In another minute Murtagh was crying and Jamie went to pick him up.

“Please, wait one minute.” Jenny said watching Claire and holding Brianna. Murtagh kept crying and Jenny had to talk Murtagh into backing off.

“Look!” Jenny pointed to Claire’s face where her mouth was moving and her eyes were trying to open.  Claire’s hands opened and closed and her legs were twitching.

“Jamie, Jenny, the babies,” Claire said with her eyes still closed.  She opened her eyes and her hand went to the back of her head.  “Jamie,” Claire grimaced, opened her eyes and raised her leg with the swollen ankle.

Jenny wrapped wee Murtagh back up and walked into the hall bouncing him a bit and humming.  Her sister was awake!  Jenny wiped a lone tear of happiness away before anyone saw it and took a deep breath to ready herself to go back into the room.  Well, maybe there was more than one tear.  She looked up and saw Murtagh watching her.

“What?” Jenny asked, already defensive.

“Nothing at all, but ye do care more than ye let on.” Murtagh said smiling.

“Oh pish ye’ole coot.  That’s my Sister, now hush.”  Jenny went around Murtagh and back into Jamie and Claire’s bedroom.  She saw Claire nursing Brianna and Jamie was smiling, sitting next to Claire and telling her what happened.  Claire looked at Jenny and nodded a silent thank you.  Jenny gave her own silent nod back, anytime.

Claire was a little green around the gills but she would be fine.  Jenny gave Murtagh to Claire to be nursed.

Claire talked Jenny and Jamie through what to do about her ankle. It was well wrapped and elevated.  

Ian caught his wife’s hand in the hall outside the room.  “What did ye find in yon priest hole?”

“Nothing to help Claire, why?” Jenny looked at him with her chin up.

“No reason,” Ian paused, “But ye found something.” Ian said softly in an effort to not to rile his 

wife.  

“Of course I found something,” Jenny said, not looking at Ian, “The priest hole is so full I wonder how Jamie fits.”  Jenny brushed past Ian and went to check on Katherine.  She was sitting with Garia and Robina and all three were laughing.  Jenny ducked outside to let Fergus and wee Jamie ken Claire was awake and to give them extra chores.  Jenny was wondering if Ian would thrash them… probably wee Jamie at least, but she wondered.  Claire was the person who got hurt, maybe Claire should determine their punishment...Jenny would talk to Ian about it.

Mr. Liston was eating lunch but he was doing a good job and Jenny was a bit impressed when she saw the repairs on the chicken coop.  Jenny almost cuffed wee Jamie when he complained about the extra chores but Fergus took them willingly.  His first question had been about Claire.   

On the way back to the house Jenny was thinking.  Maybe Claire has been too active after the births.  There’d been a lot of excitement lately.

Jenny came back and talked to Claire about calming down for a few days and spending more time in bed.   Claire wasn’t happy about it.

“I ken ye dinna want to stay in bed, but Sister, ye’ve been though a bit. I knew ye’re strong, and so does everyone else.  Ye’ve got to stay put anyway to care for ye’re ankle. Why dinna we keep ye in bed for five days and see how ye’re feelin’ then?”  Jenny wanted to say two weeks but she thought Claire would never stay put that long.

Claire reluctantly agreed.  Jamie was thankful Jenny got her to agree to stay put that long.  In the end Claire agreed it was for the best.

Jenny and Ian talked before dinner to decide the punishment for wee Jamie.  They’d created a stramash before but this was the first time they’d hurt someone and it worried the parents.  Jenny and Ian decided to talk to Claire and Jamie at or after dinner about the punishment, after all Fergus was their son, or as good as.

At dinner, much to Claire’s surprise the extra table was constructed around her in her bedroom.  Jamie and Ian put it together so it seemed like she was at the end.  Claire insisted she didn’t need so much fuss but was secretly pleased because dinner was family time and she didn’t want to miss it.

 They figured out the punishment for the two boys.  Claire decided that, since being in bed would put a strain on the house staff, maybe a chair should be set up outside her room and the boys take turns sitting there for a couple hours a day.  If Claire needed anything she would call on the boys to fetch it for her.

Jenny and Ian thought that was a clever plan.  The boys would be separate, one doing their chores and the other helping Claire.  The punishment would last five days and maybe the boys would stop running down the stairs.  Murtagh laughed and said at the end of two days the boys would be begging for a thrashin to get it over with.

So it was decided and when Jenny told the boys that night before bed wee Jamie fussed a little, Fergus nodded and just said, “Aye.”

The next five days passed quietly.  Jenny set up in one of the blue chairs during the day when she could sit for a while.  She made sure whichever boy was sitting outside the room barely sat down before her next request.  

Jamie left later in the day and came back earlier.  Claire wondered about his safety but was happy to see him more.  They played cards in the evening before bed.  Sometimes Ian and Jenny would play but not every night.  

When they went to bed Jamie massaged Claire lovingly, and he kept his firm cockstand away from her.  He wanted her badly but Jamie knew she needed more time.  He would not bed his wife while she lay hurting.

 Murtagh was up at dawn everyday and kept watch over the house until Jamie joined him.  He didn’t get lax in his safety like he accused Jamie of getting.  He’d been quiet about what happened to him after Culloden since coming home and Jamie wanted to give him time but it was difficult as they spent so much time together.  Jamie knew there was  more to the story; Murtagh gave them basic details of a few sentences.  During the day if there wasn't a lot of farm work they kept an eye or an ear on the road for anyone coming their way. They hunted, whittled, and talked about life before Culloden.  They talked about Claire and the bairns, Lallybroch, and now Murtagh’s growing interest in the widow Mary Macnab.

“Mary Macnab?!” Jamie asked him with surprise.

“Aye, Mary Macnab, now keep ye’re voice down.” Murtagh responded.  He looked around but there wasn’t anyone around for a mile at least.  Murtagh had taken the opposite approach to hiding out; they’d made a type of bench with cover in the tallest tree they could find.  They could see the main road and the Lallybroch area but they had to squint to make out the building.

“Her husband-” Jamie started.

“Aye I ken exactly what her husband did, he betrayed ye, and beat her and her boy.  I ken it, but it wasna her who betrayed ye.  She likes ye just fine, thinks ye to be verre caring for a laird.” Murtagh said.

“That’s nice but I am no longer the laird.  Wee Jamie is-” Jamie was going to remind his Godfather.

“Everyone kens what ye did, but ye’re the Laird.  Maybe not on paper but in people’s hearts, and that is what matters most.”  Murtagh put his head back on the tree and sighed.  “Damn English.” Murtagh recalled Jamie signing the deed over before Culloden to save it.  “Except Claire! I almost forgot she is actually English because of how decent she is.”

A few minutes passed and Murtagh asked.” Who picked the names of ye’re wanes? Ye or ye’re woman?” 

Jamie answered, “Mostly Claire, I chose Brianna’s middle names.”

“So Claire chose to name ye’re lad after me.” Murtagh paused for a moment, and Jamie confirmed it.  He said, “Yep, I wish no damn English had ever set their foot on Scottish soils. Except for Claire.” 

And the conversation came back around to Mary Macnab and if Murtagh was too old for her.

December 8, 1746

Jamie woke early for his usual cautious walk outside.  After seeing everything looked normal he came back in and got breakfast for himself and Claire on a tray to take to their bedroom.  Breakfast in bed was something Jamie looked forward to.  He loved the way Claire looked in the morning; her hair was going everywhere and she was so soft and warm. She wore very little to bed too, especially since her bleeding had stopped.  Mrs. Crook added one of the special oranges Claire had bought from a tinker and said, “Ye tell ye’re wife I’m really glad to have the oranges, ye tell her.” Mrs. Crook smiled.  She’d been cautious at first, until Claire talked her into eating one.

Jamie smiled and nodded and went to his bedroom.  He hadn’t tried these oranges yet, but he’d had them before.  It seemed like a waste of coin but Claire said it was good for health so he would eat one.    

Jamie saw her sitting up against some pillows nursing Murtagh.  His Claire was so beautiful.  She had her shift off on one side to nurse wee Murtagh and he saw her long graceful arm.  Jamie shook his head a bit and set their breakfast tray down on the little table next to the blue chairs.

“I could’ve gotten dressed and came out for breakfast.” Claire said.  His Claire would never let him forget her independence.

“I ken, but I wanted one more breakfast with ye all to myself.”  Jamie took a piece of toast and held it for Claire to get a bite.   In true Claire fashion she bared her teeth and took a bite like she was starving.  She laughed a bit and held the bread with her left hand as her right hand held Murtagh.  Jamie got goosebumps as he thought about her nibbling on him.  He took Murtagh when the greedy baby was finished nursing and burped him.  Claire went to the tray and took one of the bowls of porridge and sat cross legged on the bed.

“Do you have any plans for today?”  Claire said. 

I would like to plan to ravish ye “Yep, I needed to tell ye.  Murtagh, Fergus and I are going to Inverness today.  We need to go to the blacksmith and get some nails.  Ian told me last night he needed them.”

Claire had stopped eating and looked at him.  “Isn’t it dangerous to go?  We don’t know when the redcoats will be here because of the weather and Christmas.” She said.

“Dinna fash Sassenach, Fergus can ask for things I canna, and Murtagh isna easy to spot.  I can stay hidden unless they need me.”  Jamie had put wee Murtagh down and was eating his own porridge.

“Then…” Claire was going to ask why did Jamie have to go, but realized that would not be a nice thing to say.  Murtagh couldn’t be put in danger to keep Jamie out of danger.

Jamie finished his porridge and kissed her on the forehead.  “Dinna fash.”

They split the orange and finished their breakfast.  After a nice long kiss Jamie left for the day and met up with Murtagh.  

“Did ye eat ye’re orange?” Jamie asked Murtagh.

“I split one with Mary Macnab.” Murtagh said and smiled.  Jamie looked at his Godfather and laughed.  Not much else was said on their way up to the barn.  The idea was to nap as much as possible as they were leaving at dark to get to Inverness.

Back at LallyBroch Claire was trying to keep busy.  Her ankle was tender but back to normal size and her headache was mostly gone two days ago.  She was working with the seamstress to have a new shirt for Ian and Jamie finished by Christmas.  She was also trying to finish knitting a new blanket for her and Jamie and it was taking a while longer than she’d expected. 

After lunch Jenny and Claire were sitting in the parlor.  Maggie and Katherine were sleeping as well as wee Murtagh and Brianna.  Wee Jamie was outside with Mrs. Crook, Garia was hanging laundry and Fergus was taking a nap so he was ready for tonight.  

“Ye’ve worked and reworked that stitch about five times Claire. What’s on ye’re mind?”  Jenny asked while she was darning socks.

“I’m just worried about Jamie going to Inverness.  He’s so easy to spot with his red hair. I know they've gone before but it gets me nervous.”  Claire put her knitting down and stood up to pace.  She remembered her ankle in about three steps and sat back down.

“No one has received their visits yet this month, the word is there are far less redcoats because they can’t travel in the weather and Christmas is in a few weeks.  I don’t think we’ll get a visit till after Hogmanay.”  Jenny seemed pretty confident.  

Claire paused and realized how much was out of her control.  Maybe a different tact was the way to move forward.

“What needs to be done before Christmas and Hogmanay?” Claire asked Jenny who smiled.

~~~~~

That night Claire, Jamie and the twins were in their bedroom.

“Promise me Jamie Fraser, I want to hear it.” Claire said. 

“Claire, I promise ye, I willna do anything risky.”  Jamie gathered his wife to him and kissed her soundly.  He’d already held and kissed his bairns; he wanted to save Claire for last.

“Dinna fash, Murtagh and I need to stretch our legs anyway.  If anything is risky we will wait it out or hide.”  Jamie held Claire for a long minute and kissed her again.  Then he was out the door.

Murtagh was waiting for him.  “Claire told me to make sure ye dinna do anything stupid.” 

“Is that all she said?” Jamie asked.

“Well, no,” Murtagh mumbled a bit here, “But that’s what she said concerning you.”  Jamie smiled at his Godfather.  He knew exactly what Claire had said.  Jamie had been in the little dressing room holding his bairns when he heard Claire talking to Murtagh. 

“Murtagh, don’t let Jamie do anything stupid or risky.” Claire said with his hands in hers. “And watch your temper, don’t do anything stupid or risky yourself please. The English are deplorable but you can't fight them again yet.  Promise me you'll be careful?” She'd asked and Murtagh promised her.  Then Claire had hugged the man who was like a young Father to Claire.

Jamie said nothing about it.  Fergus came out after Claire got his promise to be safe also, and they started their journey.

Claire POV

December 12, 1746

The sun was going down and the twins were asleep so I got my cloak on and walked out to the road.  I thought about walking a bit but to get to Inverness and back in four days on foot would be an incredible feat.  I decided to go back in the house and sit down to dinner with the family.

December 13, 1746

I pulled on my cloak and all the warm clothes I had.  The twins were just changed, fed and burped.   Robina was sitting in the parlor keeping an eye on them and I knew I had an hour to walk out and an hour to walk back before the twins might need feeding again.

Almost two hours later I walked back into the house alone.  

That evening at sunset I started putting my warm clothes on again when Jenny came behind me and started doing the same.

“What are you doing?” I asked.

“Coming out with ye to look.” Jenny said.  She didn’t look at me when she spoke and I knew there was no argument to be had.

Jenny turned out to be a major help.  I knew of a few of the small paths Jamie had shown me before but Jenny knew them all.  

After two hours we went back to the house.  Just the two of us.

December 14, 1746

It was almost sunrise, or it was so dark the sun was already up and you couldn’t see it.  The snow was coming down in sheets.  I was at the door suiting up to go look for Jamie.

 Jenny came behind me and started suiting up.  No questions were asked this time.

We were out for about two hours again.  We came home by ourselves again.

Sunset at Lallybroch that day saw some tenants coming with their rents.  The previous quarter they didn’t have it so they were delivering it now.  Neither of us went out to  check the trails because we had to seem like there was no Jamie to look for.  Jenny couldn’t imagine their tenants betraying Jamie but look at Mr. Macnab.  These tenants lived at the edge of their lands and knew the family much less than other families.

December 15, 1746

Seven days.  I was nursing Brianna and all I could think of was seven days. Jamie, Murtagh and Fergus had been gone for seven days.  Ian had said the trip would take four to six days depending on weather.  They had made it in three days back when they delivered the letter to the stones and bought food.

As soon as I had Brianna down I opened the bedroom door to let a sleepy Garia in.  The girl settled herself in one of the blue chairs and I left the room.

Jenny was already by the door and we set off as we had been doing.  This time we checked different trails, but we still came home alone. 

December 16, 1746

I was waiting by the door for Jenny today.

“I have a new plan.” I said.

“Whatever it is I am ready.  This is getting us nowhere.” Jenny looked up at me and was seemed a little worried at the smile she saw.

“I'm glad we agree.”  I let her finish suiting up and took Jenny out to an old shed that no one used anymore.

“Why are we going in here? There is nothing but broken furniture in here.” Jenny said.

“Exactly.”  I said and took Jenny to my hiding spot.  “Two hour trips are getting us nowhere, so I have a plan.”  Jenny was looking a little nervous as she saw the gleam in my eyes.

I opened an old crate that was next to the wall. “Okay, first you take out a baggie of milk, this is mine of course, and you make sure it’s sealed-”

“What is this?” Jenny asked.

“I have to be gone longer than two hours to look for Jamie, Murtagh and Fergus.  You are the only person I can trust with this.  I don’t want a stranger nursing my babies and the strain of nursing two more would be too much for you right now.”  I went on to explain I'd been expressing milk as often as I could just in case they needed it.  I kept it in this shed because no one came out here and it would be kept cold.  

I showed Jenny the little baggies that I’d taken from the hospital.  Jenny was holding an empty one, feeling it and making a face.

“What is it made of?” Jenny asked.

“Plastic.  They can’t be reused so hide the used ones and I will bury them off your land and away from Lallybroch.  One witch trial was enough.”  I said.

I finished the directions of checking the seal on the baggie then floating them in warm water to heat up.  I had brought two bottles back, and four nipples.  Jenny felt these with wide eyes as well.  

After I had finished the instruction of how to feed the twins with the bottles Jenny agreed to use them.  I told her they were still nursing every two to two and a half hours during the day.  At night they made it three hours.

“Do ye ken how long ye’ll be gone?”  Jenny asked.

“I am going to try to get back tonight.  I’ve been mapping out the trails you’ve shown me and I have a plan.  If I don’t get back today don’t worry; that might mean I’ve found them.” I said and smiled.

Jenny looked at me for a long minute.  “How long should this milk last me?” 

“At least two days.”  I picked up a couple baggies in case I could express during the day.  “Please be careful Jenny, if anyone sees you with it tell them I brought it back from France.  As long as no one else touches it, that might fly.” I picked up a bag I’d packed with medical supplies, food and beer.

Jenny looked into the crate where the milk was stored.  "How many times a day are ye running out here in the snow to put ye're milk here?"

"Multiple.  Too many."  I smiled and paused. " I needed a back up plan so I could get Jamie if he needed it." 

Jenny and I looked at each other, strong woman to strong woman. We held hands, nodded and I left.  Neither of us could bear strong emotion right now and I knew it.

Jenny took four baggies in the house with her to start the warming process.  She tucked them in her pockets.  

 

~~~December  20 1948 the week before Yule

Mrs. Graham gets up to answer the door and a smile comes on the woman's face as she sees the guest.

“Sarah, come in out of the cold.” Mrs. Graham holds the door wide open.

“Thank you Violet, just for a moment.” Sarah walks in and stomps her feet to get the snow off her boots.

Sarah fishes something out of her bag and holds it up.  “I was up at the stones getting ready for Yule and I found this at the starting stone.”

“What is it?” Mrs. Graham asks.

“A letter to you, from Claire.” Sarah replies, slowly.

Mrs. Graham gasps and takes the letter.

Chapter 10: Hide and Seek and Find!

Summary:

Claire looks and finds Jamie, Ferguson and Murtagh.

Notes:

Hello readers,

This is shorter than I usually make the chapters but I thought it would be good to have something to read over the weekend (a long weekend for most Americans).

There is a bit at the end of this chapter that might be controversial...I welcome everyone to express their opinions.

I wrote it in because in a couple who can be very passionate (as an understatement with our Claire and Jamie) it is easy to imagine.

Have a happy and safe weekend!

Chapter Text

Inverness December 21, 1948

Reverend Wakefield came into the kitchen holding the letter that Mrs. Graham had left in her coat pocket.  “I’ll do it.”

“You’ll do what?” Mrs. Graham asked while she was pulling Christmas biscuits out of the oven.

“I will report the birth of Claire’s twins so you don’t have to contact Frank.”  The Reverend said.

The pan clanked on the counter and Mrs. Graham turned around.  She saw the letter in his hand.  “That is my letter.”

“It was in your pocket and I saw it” The Reverend turned the letter and looked at the paper.  “The paper looks like it is from two hundred years ago but it is not written with a quill.  Did you let her take a ballpoint pen?” He asked.

“Let her!?!” Mrs. Graham knew the Reverend was unaware it was 1948 but this was too much.  “That woman can travel 200 years by herself, and save our wee Roger so no one is telling her what she can or cannot bring anywhere.” Mrs. Graham whispered.  She was furious with the Reverend.  He read her letter and looked surprised when she was upset.

“Where are you going?” He asked when she grabbed her coat.

“I’m going to pick Roger up from choir practice.” Mrs. Graham said, closed the door and left.

*    *     *      *    *    *    *    *    *    *    *    *    *    *   

Three miles from Lallybroch  December 18, 1746

I had went home the last two nights.  As much as I wanted to be fearless I had two babies who needed at least one parent and preferably two.  I would not be home tonight and was making camp.  Winter had come and brought about six more inches of snow so I was concerned about sleeping rough without Jamie.

I went into my makeshift tent and started to express milk.  Jenny said the twins were doing fine during the day.  Brianna had not taken to the nipple on the bottle but it was okay because Jenny could nurse Brianna and Alex would take the bottle.  This way my milk lasted longer.

I let out a small groan of pleasure as I expressed.  It wasn’t as effective as the babies nursing but my breasts felt better after.  I hid my three full bags of breastmilk in the snow and got settled for the night.

Five miles from Lallybroch December 19, 1746

It was getting close to noon and I was hungry and my breasts were full.  I moved even further back from the road and was getting ready to sit down on a rock to eat my lunch and express milk when I heard rustling in the trees.

I immediately stood back up and looked around.  I was reminded of the boar hunt at Castle Leoch and grew alarmed.  I was attempting to stand on top of the rock when a very tall, red headed Scotsman ran out of the woods.

“Claire!” Jamie picked me up and held me to him.  He let me go and held me by the shoulders, “The bairns?” He asked.

“Fine. Murtagh, you, Fergus?” I said as I searched his body and saw no outward sign of injury.

“Fergus fell out of a tree and we think his leg is broken.” Jamie had one arm around me by my shoulders and had his face in my hair smelling it.  “It’s slow going carryin’ the lad.” He said.

I got on my toes and kissed Jamie. “Take me to him.” I said.  Jamie picked up my leather bag and we walked hand in hand the half mile back into the woods.

“How did you see me?” I asked.

“I always ken when ye’re near Sassenach.” Jamie smiled at me and squeezed my hand.

Murtagh and Fergus were behind a tree.  “Milady!” Fergus cried and tried to stand up.

“Claire, are ye're bairns alright?” Murtagh asked.

“Hello Fergus, just stay put.  Bree and wee Murtagh are fine, thank you Murtagh, Jenny is caring for them.”  I hugged Murtagh and then knelt next to Fergus and kissed his cheek.  Fergus grew a little pink and smiled.

“Let's have a look, shall we” I ripped Fergus’s pants at the seam and saw a large swelling and terrible bruise between his knee and his thigh.

“Can you move your knee at all?” I asked.

“Not very well Milady.  Murtagh and Milord have been carrying me.” Fergus was trying to keep his pants closed and shivered.

“Don’t worry about the cold for now, we are going to make a splint for your leg.”  I said.  I saw Murtagh gave a fast I told you so look to Jamie but said nothing.  

I pulled my cloak back to work and turned to Jamie to get some things out of the bag.

“Sassenach” Jamie said and nodded to my chest.

“Oh bloody hell.” I said looking at my chest. I turned back to Murtagh and Fergus.  “I am a nursing Mother away from my babies, so excuse me.”  I started to take my cloak off but Jamie stopped me and gave Fergus his jacket.

“Wrap Fergus up and get some branches to make a splint.”  I said.

I took my bottle of whiskey out and an aspirin.  I hadn’t pressed this to powder like I had planned but Fergus thought I was half fairy anyway.  “Fergus, put this in your mouth and wash it down with whiskey.”  Fergus reached for the pill.

At the mention of whiskey both Jamie and Murtagh looked at me.  “Ye’re given’ the lad whiskey but nae the men?” Murtagh asked.

“The men did not break their leg.” I answered.  Fergus smiled.

He took the aspirin in his hand and looked at it oddly, then at me.  I nodded and smiled then Fergus put it in his mouth and washed it down with a large swig of whiskey.

In a short amount of time Fergus had a splint on and was in much less pain.  I shared half the food I had and saved the other half for later in the day.  The plan was to sleep until the sun was down, then try to make it to Lallybroch before daylight. 

Murtagh insisted on getting back in a tree and he said the lad was safest with him.  Jamie and I put up the little tent and Jamie covered it with greenery just in case.

“This is a small one aye?” Jamie said as he squeezed in the door and settled.

“Well, yes, but I could only bring what I could carry and I thought food and medicine were more important.” I said defensively.  

“Aye, ye’re right Sassenach, ye’re right.”  Jamie was laying right next to me propped on an elbow.  “Can ye no get some rest with me?” He asked.

I was sitting with my bag at my side.  I needed to express, but upon reaching in my bag realized the little plastic baggies I’d brought were all full.  I pulled them out to set them outside the tent with some snow around them, and Jamie was very curious. I explained the process of saving breast milk for using later.

“Ye're saying that ye put ye’re milk in these and then in a bottle to feed the bairns?”  Jamie asked, understanding quickly.

“Yes, that way -” I was cut off.

“Ye mean… I could have been the one feeding our bairns all this time?” Jamie asked, getting upset.

“All this time, they aren’t a month old yet! But I guess, yes.” I answered.

“Claire-” Jamie started.

“Wait, I’m sorry. I was thinking of this as a backup system only.  I didn’t know you wanted to feed our babies.”  I said and took his hand.

“We’re going to have to go through all the stuff ye brought back, aren't we?” Jamie said and kissed me.

“I suppose, yes.  Now I really need to express, my breasts hurt.” I said looking for the little cup I had.

“Let me help ye Sassenach.” Jamie said. He helped get my coverings off and my dress down.  

I had been doing this by myself but I didn’t say anything because my husband's hands felt good.  He kissed me again and lifted my heavy breasts. “Where’s another one of those milk holders?” Jamie asked.

“I’m out.  I have a little cup...” I moved a little to the side and found the cup.  I started expressing and Jamie was in awe.

“I had no idea ye’re breast’s did that.” He said and watched me express milk into the cup.

“Make milk?” I looked at him in surprise.

“I knew that, but...just the way it looks I think.” Jamie said without taking his eyes off my breasts.

“Would you please empty this?” I asked and handed the cup to Jamie.

Jamie took the cup and drank it then handed back to me.  “Mmm, very sweet.”

I sat there with my mouth open in surprise. 

Chapter 11: Foot play

Notes:

- As always your opinions are welcome, and Diana Gabaldon is the creator/owner of Outlander.
I love to read the comments, thank you!

Chapter Text

“What’s wrong Sassenach?” Jamie asked me while handing the cup back.

“Uh...I… I’m surprised is all.  I gave you the cup to toss out the milk.” I replied.

“Toss out… why? Was it bad?”  Jamie asked, with a short laugh..

“No, of course not but… well, breast milk is only drunk by babies.”  I said.  It felt off to be sure but it stirred something in me watching him drink my breast milk.

“I am glad where ye come from, food and drink is so plentiful it can be tossed out.  It comes from ye, and if it canna be saved for our wanes then I should drink it Sassenach.  I know ye have to keep making milk to have it for our bairns, but dinna throw it out.”  Jamie finished his little talk with a kiss.

I thought for a bit on how to phrase a request that was sure to embarrass me, “Well then, if you put it that way, would you mind getting it from the source? Expressing is fine, but it doesn’t empty my breasts.” I finished with pink cheeks.

“With great pleasure Sassenach, I will perform my husbandly duty.” Jamie answered with a wide grin. He started leaning toward me and stopped.  “Do ye mind if I-”

“No, whatever you plan to ask, no I don’t mind.” I smiled at my husband who had looked a little worried, and he smiled back.  My heart jumped a little with that smile.

He picked me up and arranged my legs so I straddled him.  I looked at him remembering many happy moments in this position, he was looking right back at me, likely remembering the same times.

 Jamie took my left breast and kissed all around it. “Holy God, Sassenach.”  Then he kissed all around my right breast.  “I surely did something right in my life that allowed you to marry me.”  Then, in a growl that made me giggle, took my nipple in his mouth.

I tried to turn off the womanly part of me that was sharing something so intimate with my husband.  My gorgeous specimen of a man.  I thought he might not want me because I was still so big from when I was pregnant but it seemed he had no qualms.  I could see the outline of him in his breeks, and he looked ready.

The tent was small though, and I knew I wanted to wait until we were in a bed.

He took breaks and kissed up to my neck. Finally my right breast was empty and I sighed with relief. I had been worried about a decreasing milk supply, but if Jamie would help me that was a worry of the past.

Jamie had one hand stroking my back and the other squeezing my left breast. When it was empty I kissed him soundly. 

“Thank you, I hope it wasn’t weird.” I felt embarrassed but also wonderful; my breasts were finally empty and I felt very close to my husband.  Very, very close to my husband. I was hoping we would be in a bed, soon.

“Nae Sassenach, it felt verre nice.” Jamie said. I think he knew how I felt because even though he was physically ready, I wanted our bed, not this tiny tent.

“Here Sassenach,” Jamie brought me close to him, “Lie with me and let's rest.”  I settled myself to spoon with him and thought I would just think about things but I fell soundly asleep with him.

We settled down quickly together and slept until darkness fell.  When we woke Jamie performed his husbandly duty again and he had a broad smile on his face.  There was something intimate about drinking my milk and he seemed to enjoy it. 

“I need some water or I will drink all of the ale.  I am so thirsty.” I said while getting ready. 

Jamie smiled. “Drink it. I want to see if ye’re milk tastes different.” He was smiling from ear to ear.

We ate the rest of the food I brought, which lightened the load considerably.  Murtagh scoffed when he found the ale gone but Jamie and I shared a private look.

Fergus was in a lot less pain in the splint.  It also made it easier to carry him.  Jamie and Murtagh took turns carrying the bag or Fergus so they made good time.  They had to stop twice for me to express, and Murtagh narrowed his eyes when Jamie said he had to help his wife.  Our little group was about a mile from Lallybroch when fast horses were heard.  Jamie and Murtagh ran for the brush carrying Fergus and I was left before I knew what was going on. 

I acted like I’d just taken a walk.

The horses stopped suddenly.

“Woooa, now.” Damn Damn Damn Viscount Seafield.  His horse had barely stopped before he dismounted. Why the hell hadn't I ran?

I made an awkward curtsy. “Good morning Viscount.  You are out very early.”  I said hoping to remind him why he was out.

Viscount Seafield bowed and lifted my hand to kiss.  I saw he had a wide grin full of bad teeth. As soon as he touched me I heard some movement in the nearby bush and jerked my hand back. “What-”  I cut him off before anything could be made of it.  

“There were a family of rabbits just there.” I quickly realized this might be the wrong thing to say as the Viscount’s companion went toward the bush with his knife.  “Sir, there were, they are gone now.”  I pointed in the opposite direction.

“Madame Fraser, you must give me leave to use your first name, my dear.” The Viscount moved his attention back to me.

“Must I? Hmm…   Please don’t think I am rude but I must get us back to Lallybroch.”  I nodded goodbye to the men and started walking again.

“Absolutely not!” The Viscount snapped loudly.

“Viscount-” I tried to refuse, then the Viscount picked me up and tried to get me on the horse with him.  I slapped him soundly across the face.  “Sir, you will unhand me and ask before touching me again.” I said.

The Viscount, instead of looking put off, seemed happy I slapped him.  This was much to my disappointment.   “It has been a while since I have been slapped, it reminds me of happy times when I learned valuable lessons.”  I sighed, what the bloody hell could I do to put this man off?

I looked at the horse and I knew without a block I couldn’t get up there on my own.

“I will walk, thank you.”  I said, very calmly.

We made polite conversation on the way and I managed to keep the Viscount’s hands off me.  Once we reached the dooryard the sun was completely up and Mrs. Crook went for Jenny who came at once. 

“Sister! Did ye find the lad?”  Jenny nodded to the Seafields and then hugged me.

“Where are…” Jenny said in my ear.

“Safe, Jamie and Murtagh heard them and went into the brush with Fergus.” I whispered.

“Thank you for your help.” I nodded to the Viscount and to his assistant.

Only with Jenny's help did we get the Viscount to leave.  Jenny waited outside for Murtagh, Jamie and Fergus. I went inside, needing to lay eyes on my babies.

Brianna and Murtagh were in their own cradles and sleeping quietly.  I smiled; of course they would be fine, Jenny was amazing.

I no sooner got back outside than they made it back.

Jamie took Fergus into the house and put him on the dining room table for me to start working on him, then went to go see the babies.  Murtagh went right to the kitchen. 

  

I re-splint Fergus’s leg and got him to take another aspirin and some whiskey.  After he ate I got him settled in a downstairs bedroom for a nap and went to eat.  I had a late breakfast and ended up staying in the kitchen until lunch.  I told Jenny about the search.

Jenny, Ian, wee Jamie and I were sitting at the table eating lunch when one of the babies started crying.  I excused myself and got up,  but Jenny jumped up and added bread to my plate, and topped off my drink.  “Take it with you” She told me.  Hmm...maybe I had dropped more of the baby weight than I thought.

I went into my room and set my food and drink down on the little table next to the blue chair and went to take my dress off quickly.   I still had my shift on but none of the road dust.  Murtagh was crying so I picked him up and changed his clout.  

“Are you happy to see your Mommy?” I held him close to me and kissed his head.  Good gracious he smelled wonderful!  When I looked at him it seemed like he was smiling and I gasped.  I sat in the rocker Jenny had brought in for us and nursed him.

“Were you smiling little one?” I whispered softly to him.  I knew it was possible at his age, but it could also be gas.  I got him fed and he was laying in his cradle just looking at the world.  I kicked my shoes off and sat in the blue chair eating and watching my babies.

Brianna started fussing and I changed her clout and talked to her.  She nursed easier than her brother, probably because of the change in nipples.  When Brianna was finished I lay her down with her brother and saw them watch each other.  It was very sweet.  

When they were falling asleep I separated them and lay down too.  I didn't know where Jamie had went, likely to the barn.

I ended up sleeping until dinner. I woke to hushed voices in the front of the room.  I was worried until I realized it was Jamie and Jenny.

“Hush now, ye’re going to wake Claire.” Jenny said.

“Aye, but why do we leave the milk holder in the hot water so long? The milk will mix with water.” Jamie said.  Obviously Jenny was showing Jamie how to feed the babies.

“If ye dinna wanna listen just tell me.” Jenny was getting frustrated.

“Aye, I will listen.” Jamie said.  I bit my finger so I didn’t laugh.

“Now, ye heat the milk in the holders in the bucket of warm water, the water willna mix. Once it’s warm ye put the milk holders in the bigger milk holders.  Then test to be sure it’s not too hot or too cold.  Then ye screw on the top with the nipple.”  I could hear Jenny getting the milk ready as she instructed Jamie.

I thought it was time to ‘wake’ up.  I yawned and stretched and stood up.  I walked over and saw Jamie in the rocking chair feeding his son.  No one said a word.  Jamie had a tear in his eye when he looked up at us.

“I’ll get Brianna, then I’ll come help with dinner.” I told Jenny,  moving to my daughter’s cradle as she fussed.

“Help with dinner, Claire ye been sleeping for three hours.  Come eat when ye’re finished.” Jenny said, smiling at me.

Jenny left and Jamie asked, “Do ye want the rocking chair?”

“No, I’m fine here.” I settled down with our daughter in my arms watching my husband feed our son.  Of course I preferred the rocker but Jamie seemed so incredibly happy there was no way I was going to ask him to move.  Could there be any happier moment? 

Yes, when he’s free.

For now it was a very happy moment and I savored it.

~~~

Dinner was delicious and everyone was hungry.  Hogmanay was coming up and it was the topic of conversation at dinner.  As it turned out Jamie, Murtagh and Fergus also went into Inverness to hire musicians to play and an extra cook for the event.

“I still don’t think we should do anything lavish.” Ian said.

“It won’t be lavish, just music and plenty of good hearty food, nothing fancy.” Jenny said.  “We’re only inviting our tenants.”

“Okay, just the tenants.”  Ian agreed.

I couldn’t wait for dinner to be over.  I wanted my husband… The time has come the walrus said I thought to myself and smiled.  The message of the poem didn’t fit but the line did.

The potatoes went around the table but when it got to me I felt Jamie’s eyes on me.  I looked across the table into his eyes and just looked at him.  I think he needed me as much as I needed him.

“Claire!” Jenny yelled.  I clumsily put the spoon back in the dish and passed it on.  I looked at my plate and realized I hadn’t dished myself any potatoes. Damn!

I’d kicked my shoes off before dinner and I reached across with my foot to try to catch Jamie’s attention.  I wanted him to have an idea of my plans for tonight.

“Claire, that’s my foot.” Ian said.  He looked at Jenny while he said this and his wife laughed.

Jamie had been staring at me, but he laughed when Ian told me I had the wrong foot.  Murtagh got up to use the privy.

“Go on you two, out.” Jenny had stood up and declared dinner over after I was playing with her husband's foot.

“Ian, I’m sorry-” I started.

“I know lass, but it was funny.”  Ian chuckled a bit and patted my hand. 

Jamie and I got up and went toward our bedroom.  He was laughing but I was just embarrassed.  Jenny stopped me to ask if I wanted to put my twins in the nursery, but neither Jamie nor I wanted the twins out of the room.

“Then keep it down you two.” Jenny said with a sly smile.

Ian was waiting for her in the dining room.  “Do ye think they will keep it down?” he asked.

“I dinna think they will, but they might try.”  Jenny said and took his hand.  Ian brought her in for a hug.

“Let’s get some air.” Ian said and tugged his wife over to put on a warm cloak and go outside.

-Meanwhile-

Jamie and I practically tiptoed past the babies and once again we were both grateful for the big room.

As soon as we made it to the bed I helped Jamie get his boots off and he helped me get my dress off.  

I was having issues with Jamie’s shirt but I opened the bed curtains and stood on the bed to get his shirt off.

I still had my shift on and Jamie his breeks.

“Sassenach, are ye sure it’s been long enough since the birth?” Jamie said.  I looked at him and smiled.  He was magnificent; long and muscled, a little thin still but beautiful and his cock was so hard I thought it might rip the seam on his breeks.

I got off the bed and hugged my husband.  “It’s been about a month, I’m fine, I want you and I need you Jamie.” I reached up to kiss him and it deepened.

That was all he needed to hear.  He had us both naked without letting go of my lips.  Jamie ran his hands in my hair and down my back to grab my buttocks.  He picked me up to straddle him then turned and sat on the bed.

His hands were everywhere, just soaking up the nakedness of me and I was doing the same to him.

“Aah, Jamie.” I stopped kissing his neck and gave a long moan as I felt his hand between my legs.  I was ready for him but Jamie rubbed that little nubbin on what he called my honeypot.  I rocked and moaned, it felt delicious.  When Jamie stopped abruptly I thrashed about, “Jamie now”  I tried to move my legs to have him inside me. 

“Now? Och, Sassenach, don’t ye need longer, ye know it’s been a while.” Jamie smiled as he teased me.

“No, I want you now Jamie.” I grabbed his face and emphasized now.

Jamie rolled over and deposited me on the bed.  He entered me quickly and without mercy. Exactly how I wanted him.

“Ah, yes” I moaned and my hands flailed wildly looking for him.

Jamie stopped and guided my hands to hold the bedpost.

“I plan to give ye a wild ride mo luaidh, so ye better hold on.”  Jamie said and took possession of my mouth again.

Jamie reclaimed me as his wife that night.  He pushed all of the fears and loneliness away and we just became physically reacquainted with each other.  Through touch, scent, taste and love our bodies joined together... a few times.

~~~~

The next morning I was up again to feed the twins. They slept good for their age, but it was still about 3 hours at a time.  Add in the coupling with my husband I was bleary eyed.

I heard a little rap at the door and Jenny poked her head in. 

“Goodness Claire, did ye sleep at all?”  Jenny came in and changed Murtagh's clout.

“I think so.” I replied, not realizing the question was rhetorical.

“I don’t really think that’s ye’re concern.” Jamie said.  Thankfully he’s put his breeks back on and was pulling his shirt over his head as he spoke.

“Jamie! I thought ye gone brother! It’s long past sunup and I got word this morning of redcoats in the area.”  Jenny said.

“What? I thought with the-” Jamie started.

“Jamie, please, I love you, get to safety!” I said loudly enough to upset Brianna who was nursing.

He stood still for a few seconds, that felt like precious minutes, just looking at me. “Aye.” Was all he said before tossing on his boots and all his gear.  

He hugged his sister when he was ready, “Thank ye Jenny, please-” But Jenny cut him off.

“Aye brother, I forgive ye’re stubbornness and Ian and I will keep ye’re wife and ye’re barns safe.  Now, get ye gone man!”  She gave him a brief hug.

Jamie kissed me soundly enough we both had red cheeks when we separated.  I nodded and he smiled.  Then he was gone.  Red coats in the area meant I wouldn’t see him for a few days at best and we both knew it.

The twins were fed and changed.  Garia was with Katherine but Jenny called Robina in and had her bring breakfast to me.

“I can go to the kitchen.” I said standing up.

“Aye, I ken it, of course.  Mrs. Crook and Mrs. Macnab are both in the kitchen.   The new cook Mrs. Murphy started today.  There’s some kind of pishing contest going on and I dinna want to be a part of it.”  Jenny said and sat down in a huff.

I tried really hard not too, but I laughed.

“Whit?” Jenny said, looking almost angry.

“It’s what you wanted, but now things are so tense in the kitchen you don’t want to go to the kitchen.”  I was laughing hard now.

“Ye have a painful habit of expressing the obvious sister.”  Jenny said.  She was trying to be stern but ended up laughing herself.

I ate breakfast and Jenny took the twins with her to the living room so I could take a nap.

~~~

Christmas came and went.  It was a beautiful Christmas day; snow, good food, family and prayer.  I’d originally thought their Christmas simple compared to my time but in reality they had so much more meaning.  It was a wonderful Christmas.  I just wished my husband was there to share it.  He and Murtagh hadn’t been seen.

Two days before Hogmanay Jamie tiptoed into my room.  The bed curtains were closed and the twins were in bed with me.  I had a dirk in my hand waiting for whatever blackguard had entered my room past midnight.  

“My bairns.” I heard Jamie whisper and I dropped the knife and ran to him.  He’d seen the empty cradles and thought the worst. 

When we finally got the twins settled in their cradles for the night we made love.  It was frantic, like a drowning man grasping for life.  After, he moved the cradles next to the bed under the curtains and left again.  At least I was able to report the next morning Jamie and Murtagh were safe.

The day before Hogmanay Jenny and I filled two of my leather bags with food for Ian to take to Murtagh and Jamie.  Redcoats or no, they were going to be in the cave for a few days to miss Hogmanay. As much as I wanted Jamie with us, I was determined not to complain on safety issues.  I wrote a long note and got a book from the stash in the priest hole for Jamie that got added to the bags.  Ian took the bags out and reported he saw Murtagh who reported they were both fine, just a little lonely.  I wondered if Jamie was right and Murtagh had started a relationship with Mary Macnab.

~~ 

The house was beautiful.  Before we were completely ready, tenants started coming for Hogmanay and all were received.  The food was a big focus and everyone was happy to be there.

My own reception was mixed.  The families of the men who were brought back from Culloden were very gracious and glad to see me and peek at the twins.  Other people liked me fine until I spoke and reminded them I was a Sassenach.

The music started up and there was dancing.  I went back to my room and took care of my babies.  I thought I would make people uncomfortable and without Jamie I didn’t really want to push things. 

Jenny and Ian had a splendid time.  The next day had me watching all the children of the house until lunch.  I was fine with this; it was more than my turn.

~

The night after Hogmanay Jenny told me about the Seafields trying to come into the house.  She didn’t let them in, telling them it was for tenants only and she didn’t think it was the crowd for the Seafields.  She also told me I received two offers of marriage.

“What?” I replied, not sure I heard her correctly.

“Two of the men who were brought back from Culloden Moor offered marriage to ye.” Jenny said while eating her porridge.

“Aye.” Ian added.

They both looked at me because I had no reply.  I was shocked because only a few men had spoken to me and even those that spoke to me only made polite conversation.  How long would I do this?  How long would I pretend to be a widow?  How long do I fend off marriage proposals?

“Ye’er a healer, you can have children, and a valuable wife.” Ian explained.

“Until they taste her cooking.”  Jenny joked and they both laughed.

I excused myself for some air.  Why was I so conflicted?  I was ready to come home when I thought Jamie was likely gone, why was my brain muddled at this?

Yes, he was gone a lot and probably not enough.  I was almost angry at him for leaving me, leaving us to deal with this.  I was angry at myself for not considering this possibility.  I knew it was hard times for most of the Highlanders, I knew it before I came.  That’s why I brought what I could bring through the stones.  I suppose a plump woman of childbearing age would logically look like a good idea for those without a wife,  And for those who didn’t know the real me.

“Sister, I was joking;  I dinna mean to hurt ye’re feelings.”  Jenny said and sat next to me.

“What? Oh, no ye’re right I can not cook.” I said and looked away thinking about it.  I could cook a few basic things… bread (in my time, with yeast), a roast (in my time in a regulated oven) and rabbit stew, in this time, over an outdoor fire.  Maybe I should trouble one of the cooks to teach me to cook bannocks.

Jenny took my hand, “We would never marry ye to anyone..” She said firmly.

I looked at her, smiled and nodded my thank you.  I’d put myself in their hands literally.  

Another three weeks went by without Jamie and the twins were two months old.  They were both holding up their heads by themselves for a few seconds at a time.  Their legs straightened out and became more baby and less new infant.  I took them to the barn once a week and weighed them. Brianna and Alex both hit 12 pounds and went over it.  I put them both on their stomachs for a few minutes every couple hours and got on the floor to play with them.  The most wonderful thing that happened during this time is they would both sleep for four hours at a time at night.  

Time passed and I tried to move with the household.  Ian made a few more food drops to Jamie and Murtagh.  Each time I included a letter to my husband and new reading material.  I acclimated to the schedule of the house and tried to focus on what needed to be done.  

I saw the patients that needed medical assistance, though I had Garia or Robina with me if the patient was a man.  Culloden had many consequences that changed the lives of everyone.  And their behavior. 

Chapter 12: Stirring question

Notes:

This is a shorter chapter than I usually write but I wanted the cliff hanger at the end 🤫
Please know I have already started the next chapter

* As always your opinions are most welcome, and Diana Gabaldon is the creator/owner of Outlander.

Thanks for reading!!!

Chapter Text

Claire POV

March 1746

I was sitting in bed one morning thinking.  About 3:30am that morning I’d awoken to see Jamie walk in our bedroom and stand over the twins. When I said his name he startled and ran.  Like an animal. Like a wild thing.

I cried until I couldn’t cry anymore.  Then I sat until the twins were awake.

Jenny and I were sitting on the front steps on a warm evening later that week.  Ian was playing with wee Jamie and Maggie.  Katherine was in Jenny’s arms and Brianna was in mine.  Garia was watching little Murtagh.  I told Jenny about what happened and told her how I felt about it.

“He is living in a cave and living wild Claire.” Jenny whispered back.

“Yes, I understand, but not to stay long enough to hold his children… you know that's not like him.” I replied while kissing Brianna’s hand in a fashion like I was eating her hand.  Brianna’s laugh rang loud for her age, it was beautiful.

“I see ye’re point.” Jenny sighed and stroked Katherine’s hair.  “I dinna ken whit we can do about it.  He is alive, and we ken it, we have to be grateful for that.  We’ve had this conversation before, there is no way ye can safely travel.”  Jenny said and shook her head.

“Travel…” I whispered and wondered if there was any possible way to take Jamie through the rocks.  I took Roger.  Jenny watched me for a moment… then let out a small gasp.

“I thought Jamie couldna… ye know!” Jenny whispered back and looked at me.

“No, not the way I can… but maybe there is another way.” I told Jenny.  I worried my lower lip until she replied and startled me.

“We need to think about this, I will talk to Ian.”  Jenny said back.  I looked at her and nodded, seeing Robina looking at us.  She was folding the laundry from the line and looking back at us.

“What’s wrong with Robina?” I asked Jenny in a regular voice.  Jenny looked at me and smirked.

“She agreed to marry one of the Galley boys and she’s nervous to tell me she wants to quit her job.”  Jenny smiled a bit.

“You’re awful,” I said jokingly and leaned on Jenny a bit, “Why don’t you just let the girl off the hook?” I said back, laughing at the situation.

Jenny was laughing now too and pushed on me, “Because she has become so squeaky about getting married, I want her to tell me herself.”

Jenny and I spent a pleasurable evening talking and laughing on the steps.  We both had Jamie in our thoughts, but we pushed him to the back of our minds, to be thought about later. 

Unbeknownst to me the object of that large spot in the back of our minds was in a tree about a quarter of a mile away.  He watched us until we went inside because it was time to put the children down for the night.   Jamie was happy that Claire could smile and laugh without him but he missed her so much his heart ached.  Happy, he told himself.  Tears ran down his cheek and hit his hands.

~~~~

Surprise inspections by the English continued into the Summer that year and Ian was taken with them when they left in early June.  Jenny and I rode for hours that night to find where they’d taken him.  We had stopped when we saw a clearing up ahead where camp had been made and Ian was sleeping in the cage-like apparatus they’d put him in.  We took the horses back a safe distance and walked back to the camp.

“Go on, see what can be done to get him out and I will stand guard.” I said to Jenny.  Strong capable Jenny had been out of sorts when they’d taken Ian.

“Whit do ye mean?” Jenny whispered back.

“Get on your hands and knees and go talk to your husband to find out what he thinks about escape.  I have knives here, I will keep a watch out.” I responded.

Jenny found her Jenny face, that look that would murder the person who hurt her family and she went.  I kept watch but no one moved.  The soldiers were at their ease compared to before the Culloden.

It wasn’t long before Jenny came back and she looked better.

“He says no, to go home.” Jenny said.

“What?!” I replied, astonished.

“They dinna have murder planned, just push him to see if he will give up Jamie.  Ian said for us to go home and hire men to patrol for him in a few days when they give up because they already took his wooden leg.” Jenny replied and already started to leave.  I saw red for a minute, and it wasn’t from a coat.  I really wanted to hurt the men who’d turned my Jamie and likely Murtagh into wild things just so they could feel safe . 

“Jenny,’ I whispered.

“Claire, I willna disobey my husband now.” Jenny said and waved.

“No, I have food to give him.  I will be right behind you.”  I said.

I crawled up to Ian’s… cage (because that was the best word for it) and promised him I would take Jenny home and stay home myself.  I gave him the whiskey to drink and pulled out all the food I had with me.

“I’m so sorry Ian.” I whispered.

“It won’t be too bad, and I am braw thanks to you.” He held up his arms a bit which were strong.   “I can take it. Now off with ye Claire.” Ian nodded to me and I left.

Jenny was waiting for me.  “What?”

“I just gave him the food and whiskey I had.” I told her.

“Good, good plan.” Jenny nodded and we set off for the mile walk.

When we got home we released Garia and Robina (because she hadn’t found the courage yet and the wedding was in two months) from duty to go to bed after talking to the girls and getting their approval to stay at Lallybroch for a while.  Jenny sent one of the stable lads to each of their homes with a message for their folk that they would be needed for a week and they would be paid accordingly.  

Mrs. Crook and Mrs. Macnab had made some biscuits and tea and called for Jenny and I to come to the kitchen.  They were sitting at the table, but stood and nodded to each of us.

“What’s the plan Mistress Murray?” Mrs. Macnab asked.

The four of us sat down and talked.  Jenny and I gave them the facts and the plan we’d come up with riding home.  Mrs. Crook and Mrs. Macnab were clear on their parts and made plans for more food.  They also gave suggestions for extra riders to find Ian in two days time.

The third day since Ian had been taken saw Jenny standing in the dooryard scanning the sky for black smoke.  The person who found Ian would make a fire and send black smoke to the sky to signal Ian had been found.  Jenny wasn’t paying the riders, they’d all volunteered and just asked for food and a horse.

“Claire!” Jenny yelled for me, seeing black smoke in the sky.  Jenny got on a horse and basically flew.  I ran inside to get medical supplies ready.

Ian was found quickly, which meant the wounds were still fresh when Jenny got him to my table.  I bound the two broken ribs, set his broken finger, cleaned and stitched up the cuts on his chest and arms.

“Thank ye Claire, I’m going to check the fields.” Ian said and started to stand.

Jenny got the one other person out of the room before she started on him, but I wished I had left also.

“Look ye here man, I’ve taken care of the fields and all ye chores.  Ye will stay put till ye heal.”  Jenny was very firm.

“Are ye going to give me ye’re mending basket so I can stay in the house all day? Nothin’ doing!” Ian said back.

I was able to tiptoe out of the room.

“All day?!” Jenny’s voice was still heard through the walls.  “You’ll be in the house all week!”

~~~~~

September 1746

“I collected as much information I could find about this type of travel before I came back and it amounted to 3 small books.  It seems like it might be possible.” I whispered to Jenny.  The pair was supposedly just getting a breath of fresh air.

“Seems like it might?” Jenny repeated back to her.  “Sounds risky.  I like the idea of them living a normal life but it might be a pipe dream.” Jenny said. We walked for a minute before she added, ”Ian thinks it is Jamie and Murtagh’s decision, but in their shoes he said he would go.” She finished and looked in the distance.

“Could I get a message to Jarrod?” I asked.

“In France?” Jenny said.

“Yes, I think I know another traveler, maybe Jarod could make inquiries about where this man is now.. I think he knows more than I do about this.”  I said.

“Aye, get it written.” Jenny said and we headed back to the house.

I wrote what I thought was a clever note; I asked that Jarrod let it be known Madonna is looking for Master Raymond and she can be found at home.

“Madonna?” Jenny said and looked at me.

“It’s what he called me.” I replied and shrugged, embarrassed.  

Jenny went to the village to post the letter.  She looked around and wished she’d brought more coin because the residents were in rough shape.  She resolved to get me and come back with food and medical supplies.  When we got supplies there it took three days to get through all the medical needs.

Spring and summer that year had been very busy with planting.  All the seeds and money I brought meant this year would be a record harvest and we were well on their way to achieving just that.

At the end of September Jenny, Ian, wee Jamie and I were at the table when Ian excused himself to go over the books for tomorrow.  It was quarter day tomorrow and all the tenants were due to bring rent.

“What if we don’t collect rents?” Jenny asked Ian.

“What?” Ian said looking at her.

“No one has them, now do they? What if instead of tryin’ to get rents they dinna have, we gave out food?”  Jenny said.

Ian looked puzzled.  “You could say, you know times are trying and we’ve reduced our needs and had a good harvest so we don’t need to collect it all this quarter.”  Ian was still looking puzzled but I added, “Or say whatever you want to say.” I finished with a practiced flourish.  I produced the remaining two bags of coins from my original show of coins to Jenny.

“Nae lass, that’s yours, for the children.” Ian said.

“No, it’s ours.  And I think we should use it instead of collecting rent.” I said.

“I dinna want our tenants to think we mean to not to take our due.” Ian replied.  He thought about it… “What if we half it for the quarter, but let it be known next quarter will be normal?” Ian said, happy with a compromise.

Jenny and I looked at each other.  I could see it in Jenny’s face, I told ye so , she was telling me.  Jenny said we should start with asking for none and settle for half.

“I think that’s very generous Ian.  May we still pass out food?” I asked.

“Of course.” Ian nodded and left us. 

 

The nights were lonely.  Jamie occasionally stopped in our bedroom when he dropped off animals he had found for food and brought them to the house. He only came in to look at his children.  They were growing so rapidly.  One night in early October I happened to be awake and rocking Murtagh who was getting over a fever.

“Oh, och.” Jamie made the Scottich sound in surprise and put his dirk away.

“Jamie, come in, please don’t leave.” I got up and was ready to beg if needed.

Jamie had the door half closed, but he stopped.  Slowly, ever so slowly he walked back into his bedroom we shared and closed the door.

“Aye.” Jamie said and stood there.

“Shush--” I said to little Murtagh and sat down in the rocker.  I motioned to one of the blue chairs and Jamie sat.

“Claire, If ye wanna-” Jamie started but I had begun to speak at the same time.

“I may have a way for you to travel through the stones with me.  Now you.” I said and waited for my message to kick in.

Jamie looked puzzled.  He said quietly, "I was going to tell ye if ye wanted to remarry I willna cause a fuss.” Jamie was thinking about the possibility.

“James Fraser!” I whispered furiously.  “If I wasn’t holding our sick son I would strike you!  I don’t want to remarry-” I said, but it was Jamie’s turn to cut me off.

“Sick? What’s wrong with our bairn?” Jamie dropped everything he was holding and went to the corner to wash.  He took off his coat and shirt then pulled his good shirt out from the drawer and put it on.  I saw he was even thinner than before.  Jamie came back and took Murtagh from my arms.

“He had an ear infection.  It’s getting better, but he is still not happy about it.”  I said and sat in the blue chair pulling my legs up.

“Och now son, ye been causing a kebbie lebbie here?” He continued to make small noises and watched his son fall asleep.  Even after all these months of only small touches in the night he could still sooth his son.  Jamie looked at Brianna; she liked him less, but he didn’t blame her. Jamie smiled.  

(Jamie’s POV)

I looked back at Claire and she was asleep.  I put my son back in his cradle and carried my wife to bed.  I walked around the room for a while thinking.

This is my time, how can I leave it?  Is it a sin to leave the time God put me?  That took a long time to ponder and I eventually concluded it depends on why I would leave my time.. If I went to Claire’s time what would be my reason?  I looked at my bairns, they would be the first reason.  If life continues in this way,  they willna ken me when they grow up.  I would be their Da even if they didna ken me. Maybe they willna be my first reason.   Claire.  God gave me that rare woman, and I have to stay away.  Before last Christmas I was doing okay coming home at night but when the surprise inspections started I had too many close calls.  Too much to risk.  Is it right to stay away from her if there is a chance I can be her husband again?

Would I go to Claire’s time…?

Chapter 13: Making Plans

Notes:

Dear Readers,

To those who didn't want Jamie to travel to Claire's time - I'm sorry. I ask that you stick with me a bit. There is a reason and you will see it.

To those who are excited to see Jamie, Fergus and Murtagh look at automobiles - you're in luck!

Thank you for reading, and I hope you are enjoying the story.

~As always your opinions are most welcome, and Diana Gabaldon is the creator/owner of Outlander.

Chapter Text

The next day I woke in bed looking around.  Had he really been there or was it a dream?  I got up to look out the window and saw the sun trying to push itself up on this cold October morning.

“Aye Sassenach, I will go.” Jamie said softly.

I startled, pulled my sgian dubh, and got in the crouching position Angus had taught me, what felt like ages ago.  

“Verra good Sassenach, but it is just me.” I looked up to see Jamie sitting in one of the blue chairs he’d moved against the wall.  His face was clean and he’d shaved.

“What did you say?” I asked.  Being startled in the morning must be top on the list of reasons for befuddlement.

“I will go, I want my family back ye ken, I will go.”  Jamie said softly, but his voice was firm.

I walked over to him, kneeled at his feet and put my face in his lap.  “Thank you Jamie, I don’t know for sure-”

I was interrupted by Jenny opening my door, “Jamie!” She had a soft look on her face but it cleared quickly. “Someone’s in the dooryard!”  Jenny said and motioned him to follow her.  Jamie went to the priesthole and I got dressed and took care of the children.   I hoped it wasn’t the English, they were so insistent and I was angry just looking at them.  They tended to rifle through everything; like Jamie might be found in a stack of quilts.  My stomach had just started to growl when Jenny opened the door,

“Claire, there is someone here-” Jenny was interrupted when Master Raymond pushed through.

“Madonna!” Master Raymond came into the room and hugged me.  I stood still, just stunned he was here.

“How are you my darling?  After Faith I worried- is this Murtagh and Brianna?” Master Raymond said and Jenny made the sign of the cross.

“How do you know their names?” I asked after he hugged me again.  Instead of answering he looked at Jenny.

“Oh, I ken, and more than that I’m staying. Ian!” Jenny said and yelled for her husband.

“Jenny?” Ian said, coming into my room and giving Master Raymond a stern look.

“Please get the kitchen help and Garia (Because Robina never did get the courage but her soon to be husband did) outside to do laundry and keep the house empty. Then please get Jamie from the priest hole.” Jenny said with her eyes constantly on Master Raymond.

“Aye.” Ian replied and left. 

 It was silent for a few minutes then Jenny nodded to Master Raymond and he continued.

“I know their names because Madonna, time is fluid.  You know this, why do you need me?” he asked and made faces at the babies.

“Well, there are two and maybe three (Jenny gave me a look, but I hadn’t talked to her about Fergus) people I want to take with me who can’t hear the stones.  How is it done?” I asked.  Murtagh hadn’t been consulted yet, but his answer had always been to follow Jamie.

Master Raymond laughed.  “Madonna, twenty generations from you, your line will still be able to travel! Do not worry!”  He said and pulled from his jacket pocket a small rock.  He put the small rock in each of the twins hand’s.  Alex and Brianna both yelled and attempted to throw the little rock placed in their hands.  I went to pick it up and promptly felt drawn, like someone was trying to speak to me through the little rock.

“You see, it is not a problem.” Master Raymond summed. 

“Claire!” Jenny yelled and crossed herself again.  Master Raymond whipped a powder from his pocket and blew it in my face.

“Sit, sit!” Master Raymond sat me in the rocking chair.

“What happened?” Jenny asked while she was holding my hand and rubbing the red spot.

“Madonna....” Master Raymond signed and waved a hand.  “It is a long explanation and time is short.''  He said and paced in my room for a minute.  “There are preparations to be made.”  Master Raymond said and nodded, like he came to understand something.   My hand was still smoking and Jenny was looking at it.. 

“Uh, thank you.” I said trying not to be sick.

“You are very welcome Madonna.” Master Raymond replied and looked at me.  “You are not worried about your babies...who are you thinking of taking with you?”  He asked me.

“Does it matter?” I asked trying to understand his manner which seemed peculiar.  Thinking of my time in France, he was always peculiar.

“Their ages matter.  The older they are, the harder it is to travel.  Do you want to go to your time or somewhere in between?” He was looking at me, staring almost, like he was sizing me up.

I looked at Jenny but she didn’t catch my question.  “I have no idea how old Murtagh is…”  I said, trailing off.  Jenny shrugged. 

“Thirty eight?  Forty eight?  Something like that.  I think my time, I have a few friends who will help us.”  I said and nodded, thinking of dear Violet.

He was quiet for a few moments and seemed to work out something. “I will send someone in four days time, will that be long enough to get things together? ” Master Raymond asked then stood.

“Ye canna help them yer self?” Jenny asked.

“Is it possible?” I asked, as I pushed for an answer.

Master Raymond looked at both of us and smiled.  “I am afraid I have a previous engagement, Mistress Murry.” He said to Jenny.

“And you already know that it is possible Madonna, four days, don’t forget.” Master Raymond kissed me on both cheeks and went to kiss Jenny, who waved him away. 

Master Raymond bowed and left the room.  A few minutes later we heard his horse leaving.

“Is it possible?”  Jenny asked me.

I slowly nodded, “Yes.” I replied.  Jenny sat like she was waiting for more but eventually just got up.  Jamie had been standing in the doorway and hadn't said a thing. 

Jamie left and said he would return at nightfall with Murtagh.  Jenny said she would send Garia and Mrs. Crook home early.   Mrs. Macnab was already off that day. 

Jenny and I talked all day.  I couldn’t believe I might be without her soon.  In the year I’ve been home she’s been my sister and a true friend.  The only one I’ve ever really had.  I think I’ve influenced her to be a little soft occasionally, and she’s influenced me to shore up my fierceness.

She wanted to know what it was like traveling through the stones and I didn’t really have a good explanation.  I told her it was like rolling down a long hill in a carriage and people are screaming all around you.  It was actually much worse, but I didn’t want to give her that detail.

“Are ye worriet about Fergus?  Is that why ye are thinking of taking him wit’ ye?”  She asked me when we were outside walking a bit before dinner.  We often walked before dinner when we could, it was our fifteen minutes without children to digest the day.

“No, I know you will care for him like one of your own, you already have.”  I said and took her hand and she nodded.  “It’s just that I feel like I have missed so much time with him already.  And I don’t know how well he will do without Jamie.”  Jenny nodded and just then Fergus came out of the bush.

“Maybe you should ask him Milady.” Fergus said and gave a bow with leaves in his hair.  I still loved the French lilt in his voice.

“Why are ye listening to us? Ye know better Fergus.” Jenny asked him and fussed with him, pulling leaves out of his air.  “Ye’re lucky I don’t box ye’re ears for ye.”

“Oui, I know, and I am sorry,  but a Frenchman was here to visit today, and no one asked me if I wanted to speak with a fellow countryman.” Fergus said and I could tell he really was hurt. 

“I’m sorry Fergus, it was a brief visit and he didn’t have a lot of time.”  I said and rubbed his back in apology.  I looked at Jenny and she nodded.  I sat on a nearby trunk so I was eye level.

“Fergus, Jamie and I are planning to go-” I started but he cut me off.

“Wherever you are going I should go to protect you.  If Milord is going I should go to help him.  When do we leave?”  He said.  He had one foot poised as if ready to run.  “I need only a little time to pack.” He said and looked at Jenny and I.

“Where they are going, Fergus, it is far ye ken, and ye won’t be back for some years.  It’s different where they will be and when ye get back home ye can’t talk about where-”  Jenny was explaining but Fergus cut her off.

“I am a Frenchman and discretion is in my blood!” Fergus said, almost upset that Jenny was implying otherwise.

I stood up, “I will talk to Milord about it tonight, I will let you know what he says.”  I dusted my hands and gave him a small hug.  Jenny or Jamie had the final word for Fergus. I knew that.  I had been gone and he’d attached to Jenny in my absence.  

We had dinner and it was very quiet.  Ian and Jenny kept looking at me.  Fergus kept looking at me even though wee Jamie was making joke after joke.  Thankfully the twins were fusing and I sent Garia home. 

Around midnight that night I was just getting Brianna settled when Jamie knocked gently at the door.  He knocked. 

I put my shawl around my shoulders as I didn’t think it would be my husband knocking.  But I opened the door to Jamie.

“Yes?” I looked at him; he was cleaner than he’d been in months.

“Murtagh and I are here, we have questions.” He said.  Then he nodded to me and walked away.

I sighed.  I guess I was meant to follow.

“Murtagh, you look wonderful!” He was sitting in the parlor and he was very clean as well.

“Aye lass.” He’s gotten up to give me a hug.  “We thought if we were going to be around people again...”  He trailed off and patted my shoulder and motioned for me to sit.

I sat down and Jamie started. “Will we have to stay forever?” He was looking at the floor as he spoke.

“No, we can stay for as long as you both are comfortable, then we can come back.” They both looked at me for a moment after I said this so I added, “I left when I thought you were gone Jamie, I will be fine to come back.  I will miss home as well, this is home.  It is just an idea to keep you both safe.”  I made a motion for the next question.

“Does England rule Scotland in your time?” Murtagh asked me.

I thought for a minute before I answered.  “Yes, officially Scotland is part of England,” Jamie and Murtagh both became deflated, “But it isn’t anything like it is now.  There is no English presence except for tourists, it is more of an agreement.”  They still looked dubious.  “You can wear your kilt wherever you want.”  They were happy about that.

“How will we ken if Jenny, Ian and their bairnes will be okay?” It was Jamie who asked that.

It took me a minute to answer because I could feel the tears well, “I don’t know, I’m going to make sure everyone in the house is inoculated and teach Jenny how to use the penicillin, I’ll take everything that could get her in-”  I couldn’t finish, I broke down crying.  How could I leave Jenny?  I heard someone coming down the steps and stood up,  Jamie and Murtagh had run.

She walked in the parlor and hugged me.  “How will I leave you?” I asked, crying.  She hugged me fiercely.

“Claire, ye will go to keep ye’re man, my brother, and Murtagh safe.  I will rest easy when I know they are safe.”  She paused here and looked a bit vulnerable here, “ Ye do what ye need to to keep the family safe, ya ken?” She looked me right in the eyes and I was reminded of our trip when we went to get Jamie after he’d been taken by the English when he was out with the watch.  A tear leaked out of her right eye and she whispered, “I will miss ye Sister, I will miss ye mightily, but I thank ye fer getting my brother to safety.” She hugged me and turned to the men who’d come back, still holding my hand.

“Ye ken the best option is going.  The trip is painful and the other side is unknown, but ye both know ye have to go.  Now, go to bed! The watch left today, tonight is safe enough.”  Jenny hugged me one more time and went to bed.

I smiled after her; I greatly admired her strength.

When Jamie and I were in the bedroom he took a blanket and was going to sleep on the floor.

“Jamie,...” But I didn’t know what to say.  It had been a long time and I felt confused.

“Sassenach, dinna fash, let's sleep.”   Jamie said.  He took a cushion off one of the chairs and lay down between the cradles to sleep.  I watched him for a minute.  I usually brought the cradles next to the bed, but I didn’t want to disturb him.  It would seem like I didn’t trust him near the twins and I didn’t want to risk conveying that message.  I went to bed.

“I will wake if the bairns wake, dinna fash.”  Jamie said.

I nodded, not thinking he couldn’t see my head, and blew out the candle.

The next few days were very busy.  I finished giving Jenny, Ian, wee Jamie, Margaret and Katherine the vaccinations I had.  They were safe from smallpox, diphtheria, tetanus, and pertussis.  I taught Jenny how to give penicillin and why; this took a whole day.  I also left the aspirin and a medical book Jenny was interested in reading.  I left all the money and the fabric.  Jenny almost cried when she realized how much money I actually brought back with me.  She tried to give it back to me but I made her keep it and promise me to use it to keep as many people as possible fed and well.

With Jenny’s help to distract them I was able to give the stable lads, Mrs. Crook, Garia and Mrs. Macnab a smallpox vaccine.  They were surprised at how quick the bloodletting was, but wrote it off to my skill.  I chafed at giving people vaccinations who were unaware they were getting them, but even more so to let people think I believed in bloodletting.

In the end it was decided Fergus could decide to go or stay himself.  Jamie said he was old enough to make the decision alone.  I made sure he knew if he went he couldn’t even write letters where we would be.  He decided to go.  

Jenny and I spent all the time we had in each other’s company.  I told her Lallybroch stood in my time and we devised several ways she could write letters and let me know everyone was safe.  Of course I had no way to write to her.

At sunrise on the fourth day a wagon pulled into the dooryard causing a panic.  Jamie and Murtagh went to the priest holes and Ian and Jenny went outside.  I was sitting on a blue chair in my bedroom looking around.  I recalled the first time time Jamie and I made love after I’d been back.  I remembered the time I foolishly demanded going to see his cave.  There was a year of life in this room.  This was the only home my children had ever known.  They are just starting to try to walk; they like going from chair to chair.

“Claire.” Jenny called for me.  I took a big breath and wiped my tears away.  

“Coming.” I called back.

Chapter 14: Traveling to travel

Notes:

Hello Readers,

This chapter is shorter than I would like but I wanted to move the story along a bit.
Thank you to everyone who is reading!

Your comments are always welcome and Diana Gabaldon is the creator/owner of Outlander.

Chapter Text

Claire POV

Jenny and Ian were standing in the parlor about six foot away from a middle aged Native American man.  They were both staring at him like he was a ghost . 

I went up to him and held out my hand, “Hello, I’m Claire Fraser.”  he smiled and shook my hand.

“Hello, my name is Ahote.”  He said in a slight accent that I couldn't place.  He leaned in and whispered, “Would you please let them know I won’t eat them.”   I looked over and gave the calm down gesture.  Ahote chuckled a bit and whispered, ”Do they know?”

“Yes, they are completely aware.” I replied.  I looked back over to Jenny and Ian; they were still nervous.  I made introductions and we sat down to make polite conversation.

“I have a gift from Master Raymond, it’s best I explain it now.”  Ahote said and ruffled through his pack.  He took out 2 long rocks that were each flat on one side and looked to be filled with silver and diamonds.  He gave one to me and one to Jenny.  She took it hesitantly. 

“Is that-” I was cut off by Ahote.

“Yes, it is silver and diamonds.  Please don’t remove anything from the rocks, do I have your word?”  Ahote said and looked at me and Jenny.  We both nodded.

“No, I won’t remove anything.  What- ooh” I felt it.  I felt a rock but it was more than just a rock.   It surprised me; it was different somehow.

Ahote asked Jenny to hold onto the other rock, and she did..  He took out a small piece of blank paper and handed it to me.

“Send it through the rock.” Ahote said.

“What?” I looked at a rock and a folded piece of paper in my hands.  Send?

Ahote took my hands in his and put the paper to the rock and it disappeared through it.

“Oh!” Jenny said and I saw her crossing herself and I saw why.  The paper had come through the rock.

“Saints preserve us.” Jamie said.  He and Murtagh had peaked around the corner.

Ahote started to explain, “This is just traveling of objects.  If people can travel, why not objects?  You didn’t arrive naked did you?” He asked and I shook my head no.  “You don’t need a certain day of the year to send letters because there is no life.  This doesn't always work.  After you send something, the silver and diamonds become dull.  When they are shiny again they will work.”  He finished.

“We will be able to write!”  I went to Jenny and hugged her.

“I dinna know my good Sister, a magic rock? Are ye sure this isnna evil?” She asked me.  We were still hugging just talking to each other.

“It is not evil, but please wrap it well and hide it, promise?” I asked

“Aye, it will be well hidden.  How will I know when to send something?”  Jenny whispered in my ear.

I broke the hug and was going to ask Ahote but I turned back to Jenny.

“We can send things on Sunday night, before bed.”  I said to Jenny.

“Ah, no,” Ahote started. “You,” He motioned to Jenny, “Can hold things to the rock as often as you like but it will not go through.  Madon-Claire has to be on the other side to pull them to her or push them through to you.” Ahote said.

“Ten pm on Sunday nights” I said and handed over my two watches to Jenny.  “This you wind and please keep it safe.”  It was Uncle Lambs pocket watch that was inscribed.  “This one you must keep hidden.”  I handed her my quartz watch that was a gift from Frank.  It was modern and would get them in trouble.

“You can send paper through and very small objects.  Metal is fine, coins, ...buttons… things of that nature.  Nothing alive, you can send seeds but only if they haven't grown.”  Ahote looked at me, “Dead leaves and roots are fine, as long as they are dead.”  I was surprised because this was exactly what I was thinking. "Food is fine as well, but nothing alive like animals." He explained.

“Any questions?” Ahote said and looked at Jenny and I.  We both shook our heads no.

“The sooner we get on the road, the better.  I will wait outside so you may say your goodbyes.”  Ahote said and went back outside.

“Fergus” I said to no one in particular.

“I’ll go get the lad’” Murtagh said.

Jamie went to Ian and I went to Jenny.  

I hugged her again,” I love you Jenny.”   I whispered in her ear.
“Aye, I love ye Claire.”  She hugged me tighter and let go a bit to look me in the eyes.  “Ye stay safe, and strong.  Keep those three in line.”  She hugged me again “And try to bring me back another niece or nephew.” She said and we both laughed.

“We will be back.” I said with strength in my voice.

We switched and I hugged Ian.  He thanked me and told me to come back when we could and that I was always welcome.  Jenny and Jamie said a very teary- turned stubborn-goat goodbye.

Murtagh came down the steps with a sleepy Fergus.  They both said their goodbyes to Ian and Jenny.

“I told wee Jamie that I was going with Milady and he said he would see me tomorrow.” Fergus reported to Jenny with a shrug.

Ahote made a surprise reappearance.  “There is a bit of information you all should be aware of,” he paused and looked at us to be sure we were paying attention.  “ I’d thought to just tell the travelers, but I think you should all know.” He looked at Jamie and I, then Murtagh and Fergus.  The twins were still in their cradles but he glanced at them also.  “You all must return in four years.”  Ahote finished.  

There was silence for a while, then Murtagh spoke up.  “I dinna suppose ye can tell us why?” He said.

There was silence for about thirty seconds and Ahote said, ”There will be things that must happen here and you must ready yourself.  That can’t be accomplished where you are going.”  He nodded and went back outside.

“Four years it is then.” I said and broke the silence.  I looked around at surprised faces.  “We will be fine.”  I said.

No one said anything, there were more hugs and we made our way out.  I brought the twins out and Jamie and Murtagh carried our things.  

Ahote had a wagon with a cover and four horses tied up.  Fergus, Jamie and Murtagh rode while the babies and I rode with Ahote.  There were strange little seats Ahote brought for them in the wagon that rocked with the movement.  They were asleep in minutes which was good as it took fifteen minutes for my tears to clear.

We took a different way than I knew.  It would take us an extra five days I learned and when I asked Ahote he only told me that the route we took would be safely deserted.  We traveled slowly due to the babies.

When we stopped to eat and sleep, Jamie didn’t sit next to me or lay with me.  He would stare at me, often.  At night Ahote slept closest to me, but not with me; I think because he woke up with the babies at night and I think he figured he might as well help me.

It was a long sad journey.  I frequently scribbled small notes to Jenny on the little bit of paper I had. On Sunday night I sent them all through at once.   I sat for about an hour watching the fire and trying to pull through something.  Finally, I got something!  Her’s was a proper letter:

To my good Sister,

It hasna been more than a few hours since ye left, but I miss ye already. 

Mrs. Macnab came to work today.  Sister, would ye please box Murtagh’s ears for me? It seems there was some carrying on betwixt the two of ‘em and he nae told her he was ‘takin a trip’ ya ken?  I had to explain something to her but she is upset.  

This morning one of the stable lads almost cut his finger clean off.  I fervently wished for ye Sister.  In ye’re absence I did the cleaning, stitchin’ and the wrapping.  I also gave a shot, incase of infection.  He had a sore bottom after, but he is doing very well.  I miss ye.

I keep thinking about buttons…?  Would ye maybe send me one?  I’m wondering why he mentioned buttons.

All of ye are in my prayers.  I think ye’ll have a difficult road ahead and I pray we made the right choice.  

Claire, I miss ye terribly.

Love, Jenny

After I read it, I read it again.  I was crying and I held it to my chest and hugged it.  After a few minutes I looked up because I heard movement.  It was Jamie.

“Claire, are ye sick?” He asked and sat down.  Six feet away from me.

“No, I’m fine.  I have a letter from Jenny, would you like to read it?” I smoothed it out and offered it to him.

“If it is ye’re letter-” Jamie began to refuse it but I cut him off.
“For goodness sakes Jamie,” I stood up and put it in his hand.  When I touched him it felt like an electric current went through me and I was almost upset with myself.  “I am your wife and this is a letter from your sister.  I don’t mind sharing it.” I finished and sat down.

He read it and I could see it touched him too.  He almost smiled, likely at the bit about boxing Murtagh’s ears.  He finished it and handed it back to me.

“No mention of me. But I will box Murtagh's ears for ye.” He said.

“We’ve been gone less than a week.  We didn’t see you on a weekly basis.” I said.  I didn’t want to argue.  Yes, I was hurt and angry but I needed to curtail emotion.  We would come to the stone circle soon and I needed to be able to pull three people through somehow.

That night he slept closer to me than he had been. Still not with me.  It was a step I kept reminding myself.

We made it to Friday; a week and a half since we left Lallybroch.  Ahote said we’d make camp around noon which was surprising. 

“Why do we need to stop so early in the day?” I asked Ahote while I sat in the wagon rocking both of the twins.

“It is three days until you go through the stones.  You need to sleep and eat meat.”  Ahote said.  Fergus, Jamie and Murtagh heard him and Jamie got in the wagon to try to pick up his children.  As soon as he got in wee Murtagh's view the baby cried.

Jamie stood there frozen.  I felt so bad for him, but before I could say something he got out of the wagon.

“Murtagh and I will hunt.” Jamie said and hit Murtagh in the shoulder, then they were off. 

Ahote, now a familiar face to the twins, and Fergus got them off the wagon.

“See if you can sleep.” Ahote said. 

I would like to say I stayed awake and tried to help Jamie get acquainted with the twins.  I didn’t.  I fell fast asleep.

It was dark before I woke up.  “Milady, the twins need you.” Fergus was shaking my foot.

I jumped up and got off the wagon in record time.  I went straight to the twins who were absolutely fine.  Murtagh was holding Brianna and Fergus had little Murtagh standing by the wagon.

“To feed them, was the rest of what I was saying.” Fergus said.  He was standing there trying not to laugh.  I smiled and thanked him, then I took little Murtagh from him and asked for something to drink.  

I breastfed my babies, then got one of the potatoes Jenny had packed for me.

“Would ye please put this in the fire.”  I asked Jamie.  He was used to this request and took it before I finished asking him.  

I left the area to find a place to pee.  I wouldn’t miss this part, having an indoor toilet was one things I was looking forward to.

I came back slowly, enjoying the silence.  I would have to make sure they understood the noise that came with the twentieth century.  

Jamie met me by the trees at the edge of our little area.

“Are ye okay?” He asked.

“Yes, I was just stretching my legs.” I said, trying not to be defensive.

“The potato is cooked and I peeled it, do ye have breastmilk for the bowl?” He asked and handed me the bowl.

I was standing behind him and was shielded from view of the others except my head. I quickly decided on an act of boldness to try to stir life back in my husband and handed him back the bowl.  I had only a few buttons and I could pull the chest area of my dress up and my breasts were exposed.  

“Sassenach!” He said and started to move.

“Jamie, if you move everyone can see me.  Hold the bowl over here.” I said.  He stayed where he was and if anything his shoulders seemed to get wider in an effort to hide me.  He held the bowl under my right breast and I played with the nipple a bit to coax milk.  When the milk started to come I stroked the length of my breast and it was spurting.  Jamie never moved his eyes.

When at last my right one stopped, I started playing with my left nipple.  Did I take it a step too far because I knew I had one hundred percent of Jamie’s attention?  You bet I did.  I played with my left nipple even after the milk started a bit.  I already had plenty in the bowl to make the mashed potato I wanted to give the twins but Jamie was practically panting.  I milked my left breast a bit and when the bowl was practically full I turned  so I could empty my breast in the ground.

“Sassenach, may I? Please?” Jamie asked.  His face was red and I could see he was hard.

I looked around and took a few steps back nodding.  We walked back a little more until we were out of site and he was very hesitant at first.  But he was also eager and went at my breast hungrily, and not for sustenance. We kissed and he held me to him.  When my breast was empty he put his forehead to mine and we just breathed.  I took a step back.

“I have to feed the twins.”  I said and left him there.  I didn’t know what else to say to him, I felt like he was the one who needed to be talking to me.

The twins loved their baked potato and breast milk and ate greedily.  They reminded me of their Father.  I ate after them and Ahote gave me a skin of his water.  It was clear and crisp and I drank it all.

Murtagh was teaching Fergus to play poker.  I wanted to say he was too young to learn but Fergus was really good at it so I stayed quiet.  It was funny when he beat Murtagh.

I got back in the wagon and nursed the twins until they fell asleep.  I decided to sleep in the wagon that night.

Chapter 15: Faith and Murder

Notes:

Hello my Readers,

This chapter was extremely fun to write and I hope everyone enjoys the twists.

As always, I appreciate all comments and Diana Gabaldon owns Outlander

Chapter Text

Claire POV

The next day I woke up right before sunset and I was astonished that the twins were still asleep.  I was so used to their five hour nights  I was on their schedule.  I watched them for a few minutes until my bladder required attending too.   I got up and found Jamie awake.  We looked at each other for a solid minute, which, I found,  is a long time to look at someone.

“I need to go pee.”  I said and then could’ve smacked my forehead.   How romantic.  I have to pee.

“I will watch our bairns,”  He whispered.

I went into the bushes thinking frantically.  Yes, I was upset at Jamie but I think his actions over the past months have been his way to keep us safe.  He was also beating himself up about something; I didn’t know what but it was something that had plagued him since I’d come home.

I found a nice secluded spot, emptied my bladder,  then went to the stream and gathered water to bring back and boil.  

I came back to our little campsite and saw wee Murtagh had woken up and Jamie was entertaining him with bouncing and making funny faces.  

“Ah, Sassenach, I’ve been able to convince this young lad to forget his hunger for a few minutes.”  Jamie said and smiled.  I stood and stared; it’d been so long since I saw a genuine smile on Jamie’s face. I think he caught himself, and straightened his features.

“I need-”  I was going to ask for a bowl with a crushed up bannock in it so I could express my milk into the bowl.  Before I could express my request Jamie handed me the bowl with a crushed bannock. 

“Aye, when do ye think we can give them parritch?” Jamie asked.  He still had little Murtagh giggling at his antics.

“Very soon, if you would like them to have it.”  I said to Jamie.  I’d never developed a taste for it but Jamie liked it.  I wanted him to feel like he had an input, a voice in the raising of his children, even with the small details.  

I went back to the wagon and expressed milk into the bowl and mixed it up with the bannock.  I handed the bowl back to Jamie who was surprised, but pleased to get the job of trying to get the mushy bannock into his son.  

Brianna fussed and I went to her.  I changed her clout and nursed her for a few minutes but she wanted something more substantial. Nursing for Brianna had recently become an exercise in calming more than nourishment. I sat her next to her brother to get some of the bannock, but to my surprise the bowl was empty.  I looked up at Jamie.

“We shared a bit.” He said and was a bit pink in the cheeks.  Ahote had seen this exchange, he didn’t say anything but he put another bannock in the bowl and went into the bushes.  I saw the smile on his face as he walked by.  

I got something to drink and Jamie broke it up.  I expressed into the bowl as I had done before in the wagon and handed him the bowl.  Young Murtagh wanted to nurse for a while and I gladly took him to my breast.  I felt like a milk dispenser, but it was handy for the twins.  

I had an odd sensation of breastfeeding another child.  A girl.  Maybe just a dream popping up in my mind of Faith.  I shook my head a bit to clear it.  I’d had the sensation before but it always surprised me.

Our son was finished and he burped easily.  Murtagh and Fergus made an appearance and little Murtagh went straight for Fergus.  It was cute watching them play; Fergus had the patience of a saint. He took his job as a big brother very seriously. 

The morning passed as we all ate and talked but I could feel Ahote was tense.  As soon as the twins were down for their nap I was able to gather the five of us by the fire.

No one said anything.

“Ahote.” I said and nodded.

“Yes?” He said, looking questioning.

“I am guessing we are going through tomorrow on Samhain.   Do you need to tell us anything about that?” I said.  It felt like I was pulling teeth.

“No, we go through at midnight tonight.” He said.  Everyone looked at him and it was like Ahote recalled that he was the leader of our small expedition.

“Claire, get the twins off the wagon when they wake up, then you go back to sleep on the wagon.  Murtagh, Jamie; we need a rabbit, or a fox, whatever you find.  And do not bleed them.  Fergus and I will care for the children.” And so were his orders and so we carried them out.  I took a three hour nap and ate more meat.

The closer it got to midnight the more you could see how nervous the group was getting.  I was trying not to be tense, but to remind myself I was prepared.   I knew what to expect.  Nightfall came and we rode for about two hours before we came to the hill the stones were on.  I knew.  I heard the buzzing from half a mile away.  I think it was louder because of Samhain.

Ahote went up the hill to leave the note for Mrs. Graham.  I was hoping she would meet us, but I don’t know how wee Roger’s trip was handled.  She may very well be upset with me.

I turned to Murtagh, Jamie and Fergus. They were eagerly looking at me.

“There are a lot of differences that we will take as they come.” I looked at them all.  “It is hard to be out of your time but there are conveniences.”  I smiled hopefully.

“Like not having to worry about the English.” Fergus said to a resounding ‘Aye’ from Jamie and Murtagh.

“Traveling through the stones will be the hardest part.  You have to think about where you’re going or it will be more difficult to pull you through.  Since you don’t have a clear picture of where we are going just think of the year, 1949.” I said.  They all nodded at me.  Fergus had little Murtagh asleep in his arms and I had Brianna.  We were as ready as we could be.

Ahote came down the hill and motioned us to follow him to the wagon.  He opened a bag he had and took out a handful of precious stones.  “Pick out something to wear, a gemstone helps the passage.”  Ahote stood back and saw we all had something, even the twins.  He put the remaining stones back in his bag and found two lengths of cloth.

“When we get to the top of the hill I will wrap this around the twins so it is easier to hold on to them.”  He was looking at Murtagh and Jamie.

I touched Ahote’s arm, “I will carry the twins.”  I said.

Ahote shook his head, “No Madonna, you cannot, it will only work if they carry them through.”  I realized he’d slipped on my name.

I wanted to carry my own children but, I will have to trust them.  I looked at Murtagh and Jamie.

“Lass, I will be sure to carry the bairn through or not make it myself.” Murtagh said.  That seemed like the appropriate amount of caution.  I looked at Jamie and he nodded.

Ahote said, “It is time.”  I looked at his watch and it looked to be a few minutes before midnight.  I turned and looked at the countryside.  The moon was full when we left on our journey so it was fairly dark now, but I could see the outlines of the trees.  I will miss the smell of the heather, and the woods and- .

“Madonna!” I turned back around and saw Ahote yelling for me.  Everyone else had made it up the hill so I wrapped both my arms around Brianna and went up the hill.

A fussing baby girl was taken from me and tied tightly around her Father.  Wee Murtagh slept through being taken from Fergus and tied around Murtagh.  I still didn’t like it.  

Ahote got my hand and brought me near so I could hear him.  “I will spread the blood of the rabbit and motion to you when it is time to go.” I nodded.

We lined up as Ahote told us; Fergus, Murtagh, me and then Jamie.  I was right in front of the traveling stone.  Ahote tightened the fabric holding the babies to Jamie and Murtagh. He looked at me in question and I nodded.  Ahote took the rabbit and slit it’s neck putting the blood on the rock. 

Ahote took a step back and nodded at me.

“Hands!” I yelled through the racket of the stone.  “Do not let go for any reason!” I said to my group.  

I took a very deep breath and stepped into the rock.

It was immediate chaos.  Things bumped into us and I had to wrap my arms around Murtagh and Jamie’s arms because they both immediately let go of me to wrap their arms around the babies to protect them.

“Fergus!” I screamed his name because I felt he wasn’t holding onto Murtagh.  He grasped me from behind and I had a hold of his arm with one hand.

My brain was whirring, 1949, Violet, the hospital, 1949, Violet, the hospital. I felt something pulling at the bottom of my skirts and I tried to simultaneously kick it and ignore it.  I tightened my grip on Fergus, Murtagh and Jamie.  Finally, with everything screaming in my ears I felt it, I was there, I just had to step out. 

Jamie, Brianna, Murtagh, little Murtagh , Fergus and myself tumbled out of a rock into 1949.  We were bruised and changed forever for the experience but we were whole.  I saw a blue light and struggled to keep my eyes open because I heard my babies crying.

“Master Raymond?” I looked up and he was going over me with a blue light in his hand.  And then I felt much better.  He took his light to Fergus next who was unconscious.

I unwrapped Brianna from Jamie.  She was screaming and he was in bad shape. Master Raymond looked at her and smiled.  “Just her head.” He moved his light around her head and she stopped crying.  I sat her on the ground because she wanted down.  

Master Raymond continued with his blue light until everyone was doing much better.  When I finally got my bearings I stood up and turned around to see Violet and Reverend Wakefield with open mouths.

“Violet!” I started to her but turned when Master Raymond held onto me.  I looked at my group, everyone was fine; Jamie, Murtagh, Fergus, Brianna and little Murtagh were all awake and looking at me.  I started to make introductions when Master Raymond sprinkled a powder on me, wrapped my arm in his and just as I heard Jamie yelling, took me right back into the stone.

 

I struggled to get loose but Master Raymond had a vice grip on me.  I also thought about trying to get right back where we were, but I think the powder he sprinkled on me prevented me from ‘stirring’ our direction.  I did feel less banged up when we finally toppled out of the rock but I was very angry.

“What in the bloody hell do you think you are doing?”  I yelled.  I was making quite a fuss then he blew another powder on me.  Him and his bloody powders, but I lost my fire because I fell asleep.

I don’t know how long I slept but I woke up in the back of a wagon and it took me a minute to get my bearings.  It was just getting light out and Master Raymond was driving the horses hard and fast.

“What the bloody hell are you doing?” I yelled at him.  He startled and pulled over.

“Madonna, we are almost there, I am glad you are awake now.” He said and stopped the horses so we could talk.  He got out of the driver's seat to come to the back.

“If you blow another one of your powders at me-” I started.

“Madonna, lower your voice before we are found.  No more powder.”  He held up his hands.

“What is going on?” I asked him.  I got out of the wagon and stood away from him.

“Please calm down.”  I nodded and he continued.  “We are in 1734 and we are here to kill Jonothan Wolverton Randall.”

I sat down.  Right where I stood.  “What?” Maybe I heard wrong, after all he died in Culloden.

“Madonna, I don’t want to tell you a lot about the future, but I have lived multiple time periods multiple ways and your daughter Faith is important to the future.” He said and waited for my reaction. I said nothing but my mind was whirling.  “If there is no Black Jack, then you and your husband will have your daughter and she will be healthy.  If there is no Black Jack your husband is not as tormented.  If there is no Black Jack many, many Scots are not as tormented.  And, as you know, he is not actually the ancestor of your first husband so nothing changes there.”

I was slow to respond, but I said, “How, how can we go back in time and change the history of people?”  I had no qualms about killing Black Jack, none at all.

“It is not recommended, but this seems to be the one time we should do it.”  Master Raymond said.  

“What will happen to Jamie and I and Murtagh?  We all have memories of this life with Jack Randall .” I asked.

“The memory will fade, and it will feel like knowledge but without emotions.  Like knowing the earth is round; you know it but you never went all the way around it.” He said.

I was nodding my head, “Okay, lets kill him.  How do we find him?”

Master Raymond went on to explain that Jack Randell is on his way to Fort William for the first time. As soon as he arrives he goes for refreshments. We are going to Fort William where I will poison his drink.

“Will we get there in time?” I asked.  

“Madonna, look.” Master Raymond said and pointed.  We were there, we were at Fort William.  I was within sight.

“How?” I asked. 

“Madonna, if you are going to question every one of my tricks we will never make it in time.” He said and waited.

“Okay let's go.” I said.

We went into the fort and straight to the bar area.  I saw the tired girl serving drinks and looked at Master Raymond who nodded.  He pressed the poison into my pocket.

“I’m ye’re replacement.” I said in my best Scot’s lilt.

“About time.” The girl said and went to the back.  I looked back where she went and promptly turned around.  She looked like she had the pox and she was about to have sex with a soldier.

I washed some glasses and filled glasses with whiskey, coffee or water.  Mostly whiskey.  I was beginning to wonder if Master Raymond’s timing was right when I saw Black Jack Randell come in with a group of men.  I was momentarily stunned as he looked more like Frank than ever.  

“Woman, have you no sense?” Black Jack Randell stood in front of me snapping.  I murmured something and looked down.  “Whiskey for my table, and now.” He ordered and I nodded.

He walked back to his table and I counted five men.  Five glasses.  Four whiskeys and one whiskey and poison.  I had already poured the poison in the glass so it wouldn’t look different. I stirred every glass and went to the table and gave out the glasses.  I had my bum spanked 3 times and I managed not to spill the whiskey, or smack the men spanking me.  I went back to my area and Master Raymond had managed to rouse the girl I’d replaced.  She told me to kindly leave, well, maybe not kindly.

Master Raymond and I stood next to the door and appeared to be talking.  It took about fifteen minutes but Black Jack started vomiting blood and soon he was on the floor begging for help.  It had drawn quite a crowd but I had a good spot and I could see the life leave his eyes as he choked and gasped for air.  It was very satisfying.  

“He’s dead, lets go.” Master Raymond whispered and took my elbow and led me outside.  The crowd was starting to ask questions of the barmaid.

“But now she will answer for my crime.” I protested.

“She is dying in three days from the pox.  They won't have time to do anything to her.”  Master Raymond answered as he hurried us to our wagon.

We were away in moments.  Master Raymond worked his magic and we were back at the hill of Craigh na Dun within a few hours instead of days.

“How will I find Faith?”  I asked thinking again about the primary reason for this murder.

“Come Madonna.”  Master Raymond put his bag around him and held his hand out.

I put my hand in his, what else was there to do?

We got to the top and the stones were buzzing loudly.  Master Raymond put a necklace on each of us that held a stone.

“I will get us to 1949, you call out for Faith.” He said and I nodded.  We walked into the stone and the chaos called for me again.

“Faith, Faith.” I called again and again.  I started to cry thinking she was lost in this terrible void and screamed her name with all the energy I had.  

There was silence and calm for just a few seconds after I screamed but it was enough for me to hear a tiny little “Momma?” I honed in on the direction of that tiny voice and I pulled her to me and then we 3 tumbled out of the rock.

Chapter 16: There is a lot to be said for a comfortable bed.

Notes:

Dear Readers,
This chapter is the end of their traveling adventure. Not too much happens, but there is 1 great thing that happens.
I hope you enjoy it!

Thank you for all the wonderful comments! I think my readers are extremely clever! 👏🌷🌷❤️💜❤️

As we all know Diana Gabaldon is the genius behind Outlander

Chapter Text

November 2 1949 if you are in Inverness, Scotland with Claire.  

November 2 1747 if you are Ian or Jenny or part of their crew without Claire.

 

My head was spinning and my entire body hurt.  I was trying to soothe a crying three year old and stand.  Faith was holding me around the neck and wasn’t letting me go.

Master Raymond had his blue light out moving it around us and I felt a bit better.  Faith quieted down so I am guessing she felt better too.  I need to look into getting myself whatever that was he was holding with the blue light.

Master Raymond gave me a hand and I stood up brushing myself off.  

“Sassenach are ye allright … who is that ye got there?” Jamie was getting up.  It looked like he’d set up a place to sleep right by the traveling rock and we had rolled right into him.

I took a deep breath; how do I explain this? I turned to Master Raymond and he said, “How do you feel Madonna?”

“I’m okay, foggy but alright.” I answered and looked at Jamie.  I wondered what repercussions would surface due to killing Randell and realized I had no idea.  I’d committed murder and I didn’t know how this was going to affect my family.  All because Raymond told me I would have my first child back.

“I’m braw.” Jamie said and looked confused.

Master Raymond looked back to me and I nodded.  He handed me a small package and nodded to me.

“I will find out what I can, and I leave you to explain Madonna.  There are instructions.” He nodded to the small package.  “I am sure we will meet again very soon.”  He kissed me on both cheeks and stepped into the rock.  He was gone.

“Faith, baby don’t pull my hair.” I got her little hands out of my hair.

“Faith?” Whispered Jamie.  The look of shock on his face was considerable.  He crossed himself and said, “Sassenach, what have ye done?”

I put Faith in her Father's arms to answer his question.  She whispered, “Da” and hugged him. He closed eyes whispering to one of his saints and hugged her back.

I turned to see Violet when I heard her clear her throat.

“Claire, I am happy to see you.”  She stepped away from the Reverend and hugged me.  “Now that ye’re here we can go back to the manse.  Jamie wouldna leave without you.”  She pointed behind her where the twins were asleep in a makeshift bed under a canopy tent.  I sighed with relief.

“Thank you Violet, but I don’t want to put you out, or run into anyone.”  I couldn’t imagine running into Frank.

“No one else is there but wee Roger, Mrs. Graham and I.  There are no visitors expected either.  I would be more than happy to have your family stay with us.  Please.” The Reverend said.  I imagine the historian in him was itching to talk to us.

I glanced at Jamie who gave his odd shrug.  He was still shocked at the idea of Faith in the flesh.

“We would be very grateful to stay with you.” I said.  I hoped to get a house in the country as soon as possible, but a warm safe bed sounded very nice. 

Murtagh and Fergus had stood still during this exchange but Murtagh jumped into action to please Violet.  I think a crush had developed in the time I was gone.  “Aye, Mistress.  I will start the packin’ ‘rrright away.”  He said.  His ‘Scottish brogue’ actually increased to Violet's pleasure.

Violet and the Reverend had driven both their vehicles which was handy because the party had grown from three to ten.  We were packed up and ready to go quickly.  I think we were all happy not to see the stones, at least I know I was happy to leave them. Jamie, Murtagh and Fergus had reservations about the automobiles  but I was able to get Jamie and Fergus in after promising their safety.  Murtagh was ready to wait for a horse but when he saw a seat right next to Violet was available, it helped quite a bit.

Roger had been curled in the back seat sleeping but he was very welcoming to us, and especially Faith.  The ride was long in the dark and when we got to the manse Fergus and Faith were both asleep in my lap.

Faith, Fergus and Roger had milk and cookies then I took my crew to the bathroom to explain the toilet and sink.  The Reverend listened to my every word and all the reactions.  When I thought everyone understood it we went to bed because we were all exhausted.

Faith and the twins slept in two makeshift trundle beds in my room.  I found out my room meant my and Jamie’s room.  I guess we got the large room because there were five of us and I didn’t want to complain.   They were already putting up my family of seven people.  

I got my, now three, young children into the bedroom and Jamie followed and sat on a chair. We were both still stunned about Faith but I’d been the one to retrieve her and was doing better than Jamie.  I whispered a story to Faith and nursed the twins until they fell asleep.  Faith sat quietly and watched me the whole time.  After the twins were asleep she got up in my lap to nurse.  I didn’t know what to do; Faith was too old to nurse and I looked at Jamie who shrugged.  I can’t believe I once thought that shrug was cute.

I had no idea of her first three years and I pulled my shift back down and nursed her.  She seemed small for three.   She had Jamie’s flaming red curls, my eyes, and loved to cuddle up.  Did we have three years and I didn’t remember them?  Did she come into existence at three?  I wish Master Raymond had stayed to give answers.  All these questions were maddening.

Faith let go of my breast and leaned in to get a kiss.  I kissed her and wrapped her up on her little trundle and tucked her in.  She sighed and closed her eyes.  I looked at Jamie and looked at the door.  We both left the room and went quietly down the stairs.  

I had thought we might not be alone and we weren’t.  Murtagh, Violet and the Reverend were sitting around the table in the kitchen talking.  Jamie and I joined them.

“Okay lass, now ye must tell us what happened, and tell it all.” Murtagh said.  I thought it would be Jamie insisting on an explanation but he was still infuriatingly quiet.  

I sat down, poured a bit of their very good whiskey, took a sip and began my story.  I told them everything; from struggling with Master Raymond and getting a face full of powder to screaming in the rocks for Faith.  After the story was finished they were silent for a full second. 

“But, I killed that bastard at Culloden.” Jamie said in almost an asking voice.

“Do ye recall it clearly son?” the Reverend asked.

“Well,” Jamie paused, “Aye I think so.” He said and looked at me.

Murtagh was looking at me.  “What Murtagh?” I asked.

“I went through the rocks with ye, I canna believe you created silence in there… it was terrible.  If ye ken how to make it silent why didna ye do it for us?” He said.  

“I would have made it a nice calm passage for us if I knew I was capable of it.  I will for our return, ok?” I said.  I thought about my scream in the rocks.

“Return?” the Reverend said, “When?” 

“In a few years.” I answered and that seemed to satisfy him. I can only imagine the historian wanted time to interview the living subjects of history.

“There are so many questions about ye’re darling little Faith.” Violet said and everyone nodded.  

“Many, many questions and I have no answers.” I said and took another sip.

I’d had enough.  I was beyond exhausted but if I was going to sleep in the same room as Jamie we needed to have a conversation.  I drained my whiskey.

“Jamie, may I speak with you outside?” I said.

I started to the front when I heard Violet say, “Claire, go to the back, everyone will hear ye in the front.” Then Violet started getting the group to bed.

“Thank you.” I said as I passed by her to go out the kitchen door.  She opened the door for me and handed me two more glasses of whiskey.  God bless her.

Jamie and I sat on the swing for a few minutes.

“What? What are you mad at yourself for?” I asked and my brave highland warrior husband looked at the ground.

“Jamie,” my voice softened, “Whatever it is we can get past it.” I said and took his hand.

He let go of my hand.  “We canna get past it because I dinna deserve ye Claire.  I dinna deserve my bairns.  I dinna know what to think of little Faith!” He said and made the sign of the cross again shaking his head.  I wanted to explode but I knew better.  I kept silent.  

“I forced ye to go back, ye dinna wanna go but I made ye.  I sent ye to the arms of another man.  For months after ye came back all I could think about was how happy I was to have ye.” He paused and sipped his whiskey.

“But I dinna deserve ye.  I told ye to forget me and have a life with Frank.  I thought it was the right thing but I dinna know anymore.”  He said.  When he said Frank’s name he spit his name out and curled his fist.  “When ye came back I forgot all that, I was so happy to just hold ye, I felt like I could breathe again.” Jamie’s voice was getting low and I leaned in.  “It was so hard to breathe without ye Claire.”  He looked at me.  “How can ye just think it’s ok?  I sent ye to another man.  You disobeyed me, again! And I’m grateful for it.  How can we get past this?”  He looked at me after Jamie said all this and I knew it was my turn.

“You were right to send me back.  I know,” He hung his head here, “I know it doesn’t feel that way now but you made sure I was safe and the babies were safe.  You thought you were going to die, you made me go to the safest place you knew and that was my time.  It was good you did, because I wouldn’t have left- Jamie, listen to me.” He’d gotten up and looked away.

“Aye, I hear ye Claire.” He said.

I got up and made him look at me. “Jamie, I needed to see a doctor, from this time, and make sure I could have a safe birth, you know this, I told you before.  If you hadn’t forced me to come to my time I would’ve lost the twins.” When I finished he was meeting my eyes.

“Aye, but what about Frank?  I told ye to go to him Claire, how can ye ever forgive me for that?” Jamie said and was looking me in the eyes.

I took his hands and stepped toward him so we were very close.  “I know what you and I know I agreed, but I knew I could never go back to him.  After what there is between us anyone else would simply be a pale shadow of you.” I said. He was listening, he was smiling.  “And I already forgave you a long time ago.” I said smiling.

I leaned in and went on tip toes.  “Can we make up with a kiss?” I asked.

“It is a verre big thing to forgive.” He said looking at me.

“Jamie, I love you so much, I forgive you. Please, let's not waste more time so you can berate yourself.” I said and squeezed his hands. 

Jamie put one hand around my waist and another around my shoulders and kissed me.  He was like a drowning man gasping for air and I was that air. We kissed and touched until I noticed a flickering light next door.  I pulled away from the kiss and saw the neighbor was turning their back porch light on and off.

“I guess it’s time for us to go back in.” I said and smiled.

Jamie squinted and said, “It’s like a mad firefly.” I took his hand and we went inside and to bed.

I undressed to my shift and Jamie left his shirt on but we got in bed together.  Our newly rekindled relationship didn’t go as far as sex I knew and I was a little uneasy with that at the manse anyway.

When Jamie lay down he moaned loudly.  “Hush, you’ll wake the house.” I whispered and giggled.

“Sassenach,” He said in the way he used to and my heart smiled, “ I know ye truly love me.”

“Oh, how’s that?” I whispered back.

“Ye had a life where ye slept in this kind of bed and ye chose to stay w’me.”  Jamie said and kissed the top of my head.  He drew me close and we had a good night of sleep.

Chapter 17: More than a place to live

Notes:

Dear Readers,
This is a light chapter. I think Jamie and Claire would have some difficulty sorting out the stereotypical gender duties. This chapter is an answer to some of that

As we all know Diana Gabaldon is the genius who thought up Outlander and these wonderful characters.

Chapter Text

In 1747

Lallybroch

“Do ye miss Claire?” Ian asked as he came from behind his wife and wrapped his arms around her.

“Aye, and Jamie.  Even if I went for weeks without seeing him I knew he was here and safe.  Now I dinna ken if they made their voyage safely.” Jenny said in her soft but strong voice.  “I miss Claire too.  We shared so much, and the bairns, and Fergus” Jenny said.  She would’ve said more but her lips were quivering.

“Me too, wife.  Remember when Jamie was crawling out on the roof?” Ian asked.

“Aye, I do.  Ye took your dirk out and ye were going to skin up whatever animal disturbed your sleep and it was my brother.”  Jenny laughed a little bit.

“Our brother.” Ian said softly and leaned into her.  Jenny nodded without speaking.

“Where did ye hide the special rock?” Ian asked her while nuzzling her neck.

“It’s in the hidden spot in the basement.” Jenny whispered and shuddered with goosebumps.  Her mind was leaving Jamie and Claire.  No more words were spoken for a while.

In 1949

Inverness, The Manse

The next morning I woke up and was immediately sorry I drank the whiskey.  I’d stayed away from strong alcohol for the most part since I was pregnant and my head was reminding me exactly how long it had been. 

Jamie leaned up to look at Faith playing with the twins.  The children were awake.  “What do ye think Claire?  Did we have years with Faith and not remember them?”  He sat up as Faith ran toward the bed.

“Da!” She came straight for him.  I was going to tell Jamie I had no idea, and it was odd that the only thing she said was Momma and Da when I looked up and saw a hint of Jamie’s back.

“Jamie, take your shirt off.” I said and got out of bed.

He looked at me strangely.  “I want to see your back.” I said and he took his shirt off then picked up Faith.

The marks on his back were considerably less.  He’s obviously been flogged but the lashes didn’t mark his back in deep grooves anymore.

“Jamie, your back has changed! Your lash marks are much less.” I said with all the surprise I felt.

“Aye?” Jamie said and felt the small part of his back that he could reach.

“I have to get the twins, we will get back to this.”  I said.  I walked over to where I’d put the bags and pulled out fresh clouts and clothing.  Jamie changed the twins and I talked to Faith.

“Do ye have to go to the bathroom?”  I asked. She was holding herself between the legs.  She just looked at me funny but I took her to the bathroom that was luckily empty.  Jamie followed me in and handed me Brianna to nurse. I put Faith on the toilet and sat on the edge of the tub to nurse.  

It took a long time and Jamie had started to whistle to entertain little Murtagh.  Eventually Faith peed and I cheered.  I handed Brianna to Jamie and helped Faith to wipe and wash her hands.  I went to pee but it looked like Jamie was going to use it.

“Please,” He said and nodded toward the toilet like it was a grand seat.  I would’ve never used the toilet with Frank in the room, but it didn’t feel too weird with Jamie and the kids.  We were all right there; the five of us in the bathroom.  After I was finished I flushed and washed my hands.  I took the babies from Jamie and managed to sit them in the tub.  Jamie was staring at me.

“Yes?” I asked, smiling.

“Sassenach, I have to piss, so where do I stand?” He said and was obviously embarrassed. 

I showed him and he did it, and managed not to tinkle on the floor.  He washed his hands and groaned.

“What?” I asked.

“Not having to use a chamber pot or going outside to pee at night, and getting water whenever you want it.  This is nice.” He was smiling at me.  

We rinsed out our mouths and I mentally put toothbrushes on the growing list of things we will need.  I picked up little Murtagh to nurse and Jamie asked me questions about the use of everything in the bathroom.  

We went back to our bedroom but on the way we saw a sleepy Fergus coming out of his room.

“Milord, Milady, the bed is very nice.” He said and rubbed his eyes.

“Aye, it is!” Jamie answered.  “Do ye have to piss?” He asked and Fergus nodded.  Jamie proudly took Fergus into the bathroom to show him where to stand.

I took our little ones into the bedroom and got them dressed.  I had nothing for Faith, she was still wearing the shawl Violet had given her.

I looked at Faith trying to guess a size and instead she crawled in my lap to nurse.  I let her; I didn’t know if I should stop it at this point.

Her feet were so tiny I was able to give her socks I had brought for the twins.  Murtagh and Brianna had been growing so fast I thought I should be prepared.  There was a knock and I got up to answer the door.

“Good Morning! I made a few calls and got some clothes and shoes for little Faith, I don’t know what will fit.” Violet said.  I looked at her in amazement.

“Thank you!” I said. We went inside the room and got Faith dressed in a cute little dress.  She even had shoes to fit.

“Please pass along my thanks.” I said.

“Aye, I will. Now come down for breakfast.” Violet said.

We all came down and breakfast was wonderful; parritch, fried tomatoes, mushrooms, square lorne sausage, baked beans, eggs and toast.  

“Mistress, I dinna ken I ever did have such a verre good breakfast.” Murtagh said when he was finished and we all followed suit by thanking her. Faith,  Brianna and young Murtagh had eaten milky parritch and buttery toast.  Faith even ate tomatoes.

I went to the front room and sat the twins down and Faith.  They had a few toys from the things Violet had given us and they were all three enthralled.  I sat with them and watched Faith.  She was just as interested in the toys as the babies were and she mimicked their behavior.  The more time passed the more I thought we didn’t have three years with her.  Jamie sat next to me and watched our children.

“What are ye thinking, Sassenach?” Jamie said.

“I’m thinking we didn’t have three years with Faith that we don’t remember.  She has better capabilities but she is like a new babe.” I said never taking my eyes off her.

“Aye, that seems right, but it makes her even more of a mystery.” Jamie said.  He was watching her too, watching Faith watch the twins.

“Claire, could we talk?” Violet said from the doorway.

“Sure.” I got up and sat on the couch.  Jamie followed suit and groaned again.

“This is so comfortable!” He said and was moving his hands on it back and forth.

“Well, thank ye Mr , err,  Jamie.  Claire, I need to tell you about the money you gave me to invest for the twins if they ever came back.” Mrs. Graham said and paused.  She looked like it was bad news.

“It’s okay Violet,” I said, I was thinking I could always go back to work, “What happened?”

“Well, ye see… I thought the best thing to do is invest it in something that would have meaning to them.  If I could add a profitable business, that would be even better.” Violet said and took a deep breath.

“It’s okay, just tell me.” I was getting impatient.

“I bought Lallybroch and I’ve been fixing it up to try to turn it into a bed and breakfast.” Violet said and took another deep breath.

“Lallybroch stands?” Jamie asked.

“Yes, well, at least the main house.” Violet replied.  “I’ve been trying to capture the true look of the time it was built but it has taken time.”  Violet sighed, apparently nervous after telling me.

“That's a great idea!” I said.  “If the twins came to this time it would give them a place to live and an income.  Also, it’s the perfect place for us to live.” I said and went to hug Violet.

“Oh, dear I was so worried you would be upset.” Violet said.

“Not at all, You have such wonderful idea’s.”  I hugged her again.  This is our house in the country I was hoping to find.  I can keep Jamie and Murtagh from being looked at as crazy people and we can live in peace.

“Do you have a figure for how much was left?” I asked her.

Violet went to a desk and pulled out a stack of papers.  “I’ve kept track of everything.”  I took the stack from her and went over the pages briefly.

“You’ve done very well, thank you so much Violet.”  I said.  Violet was blushing a bit.

She said, “I’ve got you an automobile if ye like, it’s used, but it’s a solid machine and at a good price.”  

“Yes, that would be great.  Who is selling it?” I asked.

“Me!” Violet said almost laughing.  “I want to buy a new one .” She said.  “I’ve had my eye on one at the car lot for a while now but I didn’t have a reason to sell the one I have.” Violet said.

Jamie cleared his throat.  “Could ye please explain it to someone who doesna ken the beginning of this story?”  As he was speaking Murtagh and Fergus had wandered in.

I took a deep breath, “When I left this time to go back home, I had some money leftover from working and from my Uncle Lamb.  I gave it to Violet to try to invest it or just save it in case one or both of the twins were to come back to this century.” I took a breath and rifled through the papers.

“Apparently she bought Lallybroch and all the land around, for a very good price!” I looked at Violet, “Am I reading this right?  Did you get 350 acres?”  I asked and she nodded.

“Aye, it’s all in trust for ye’re bairns.  They own it and in the absence of their parents I act as their agent.”  Violet said and looked just a little proud of herself.

“You are one clever woman, thank you Violet.” I said and nodded to her. She looked me right in the eye and nodded back to me.

“So we have Lallybroch?” Jamie asked.

“Yes, and plenty of land.” I answered.  He smiled and picked up Faith and twirled her around.

“That is good news, thank ye Violet for being such a smart woman.” Murtagh said.  He winked at her and she actually blushed.  She blushed!

“Can we go today Madam?” Fergus asked.

“Well, I think the first thing we should do is go to the bank and transfer money for the car and get the paperwork done so ye own it.  We also need some pocket money and clothes….” I trailed off as I looked at my family.  

I turned back to Jamie, I was going to ask if he would mind to watch the children for a while, but he beat me to it.

“Ye go Sassenach, ye will ken what clothes to get.  I will stay here with our bairns.  Maybe take Fergus or Murtagh with ye?” Jamie said.

“That would be a fine idea, but I really need to try to blend in.  I think I should go by myself this time and buy some clothes for everyone.”  Jamie nodded and managed to look only slightly worried. I turned around to ask if my old clothes were anywhere and Violet beat me to it.  I have to speak faster.

“The suitcase ye gave me is in ye’re room.” Violet said.  I smiled and headed to the stairs.  Violet turned the radio on and started explaining it to Jamie, Murtagh and Fergus.  

“Sassenach.” Jamie said when I came downstairs in a skirt and blouse.  “Are ye sure that is fitting clothes?” He asked.

“Aye,” I said in imitation.  “This is fine for this time.” I said.  He still looked skeptical.

Violet and I measured Jamie, Murtagh and Fergus and we left.  Watching Violet measure Murtagh was eye opening.

It was a whirlwind day.  We went to the bank, I paid Violet and got the car registered in my name, then the search began for clothes for my family.  We stopped at the car lot on the way home and Violet got her new car.

When we got to the manse it was loud.  The radio was blasting music and Jamie, Murtagh and Fergus were dancing with the children.  The Reverend was sitting on the couch laughing and clapping.  They didn’t hear us come in and they hadn’t spotted us yet.

Violet went to a little desk and pulled out a camera.  She turned back and took a picture of the living room.  I was very happy with the sight; Jamie and Murtagh were free to do as they pleased and live, and they looked happy.  Fergus looked more like a child than ever.  Finally Brianna saw me and held out her arms.

“Momma, Momma!” Brianna said.  It was a little mumbled but I knew what she wanted.

“Oh, hello.” Jamie said only slightly ruffled from his vigorous dance with two children.

I took Brianna and went to nurse her, then her brother.   After little Murtagh was finished Faith was coming to sit on my lap.  I decided there was no better time.

“Faith honey, you are too old to nurse.” I buttoned up my shirt and she laughed like it was a joke and tried to unbutton my shirt.

“Faith, these are babies,” I pointed to the twins, “They nurse.  But you are a big girl and get your milk from a cup.” I saw the twins had settled down and were falling asleep sitting next to me so I got them laying down and picked Faith up and left the room.

“Do you understand? You don’t get milk from me anymore, you get it from a cup.  Let’s go get you some right now.”  I said and we went downstairs and I got her a glass of milk.  I think she was starting to understand.  She was pouting and acted like regular milk was terrible and tried to climb in my lap to nurse.  The second time I said, “No Faith, you are a big girl.” She looked at me like she was going to cry then she let out a screech to bring the house down.  

Everyone ran into the kitchen.  Violet had dropped the large spoon she was holding and put her hands over her ears.

“What is it Sassenach?” Jamie asked.  Murtagh had made it first but he was just looking around with his dirk out.

“It’s fine gentleman.  That was the protest shirk of Miss Faith who didn’t get what she wanted.” I said.

“What did she want?” Jamie asked, putting his dirk away.

“To nurse.” I said softly.

“Och, well Sassenach-” Jamie came over to me and started trying to unbutton my blouse.  “I can help ye.”

“Jamie, no. I told her she was too old.” I said and managed to get his hands off my blouse.

“Really?  She’s only a tiny lass, surely she should nurse longer.” He said looking at Faith sitting on a stack of books to reach the table.  

“Jamie, she’s three.  Faith should be weaned.” I said.  He nodded and looked around the kitchen.  

“I see ye’re point Sassenach, but maybe we can wean her tomorrow when we go to Lallybroch?” He said.  I looked around the kitchen and saw his point.  I nodded.

“You’re right.  Let’s go, Faith.” I said and took her upstairs to nurse.

“Take this.” Violet said and put a large drink in my hand.

“Thank you, I always get thirsty.”  I said,  Faith and I left the kitchen and went back upstairs.

Jamie and I got our children fed and down for the night.  We checked on Fergus; he’d just taken a shower and put on cotton pajamas.

He was sitting on the bed when we looked in the room.

“Are we going to Lallybroch tomorrow?” He asked.

“Aye lad, that is the plan.” Jamie said.

“Will I have a bed like this to sleep in?” Fergus asked.

I smiled and said,” Yes, you will.” Jamie gave me his questioning look.  “While we were out today Violet told me about the things she already had at Lallybroch.  She was buying supplies as she could.” I finished.  I was quite happy Violet had purchased things.

“Oh good.” Fergus and Jamie said at the same time.  

Fergus went to bed and Jamie and I were going down the stairs when we heard Murtagh and Violet in the kitchen.  The Reverend and Roger were in their rooms so rather than interrupt Murtagh and Violet Jamie and I went to bed.

It was a good night.  The kids slept almost all night and I slept in the arms of my husband.

The next day I was just moving and stretching when I saw my husband dressed in full highland garb.

“Where are you going?” I asked.   I was curious about him putting on the clothes from his time.

“To a lecture with the Reverend.  He called somebody yesterday and they were looking to have someone come in and talk about Scottish Highland fighting methods of the eighteen century.” He said as calmly as someone would ask if they would like a cup of tea.

“What? Jamie. What if you give away that you are from that century? Jamie, someone might think-” I said but he cut me off.  

“I ken, ye told us many times.” He said, then mimicked in a high voice, “If someone from this time finds out you think you are from a different century they will likely think you are crazy.  That is very bad because you might get locked up and I can’t get you.” He finished.  It was exactly what I’d said.

“This is reckless.” I said.  I didn’t want him to go.  I felt like I just got my husband back, I didn’t want him doing anything dangerous.

Jamie sat on my side of the bed and looked at me.  “Claire, I understand what is at risk.  I will be careful.  I will be with the Reverend and Murtagh and I will make money for our family.”  He kissed me, short and sweet, then walked out of the room.

I didn’t have the heart to tell him we didn’t need the money.  I’d been around enough universities with Frank to know the speaker pay is usually small.  Jamie was smart and I was likely worrying about nothing.  I thought about his role at home compared to his role now, in 1949.  I knew I was going to have to let him do something.  He would want to support our family and I was unsure how the future would work.  The Reverend will be with them today and will keep Jamie and Murtagh safe.  

I got up to get dressed and one minute into that process the twins woke up.

 

We had breakfast and spent the morning packing the cars with our things we’d brought and all the new things.  Jamie, Murtagh and the Reverend came back in the afternoon.  Everything had gone very well and Jamie and Murtagh impressed the students.  Jamie pulled out the handful of paper and coins in his pocket and proudly showed me his wages.  I looked at the Reverend with raised eyebrows.  He just shrugged but had the grace to look a bit embarrassed.  That was very high pay, and I knew it.

Jamie was very proud so I didn’t say a word.  I think the reason The Reverend asked him to speak was because of what happened.  Six men want to pay Jamie for lessons in sword fighting.  

“Six?” I asked, looking at Jamie.  The Reverend nodded and smiled.  “How are your lessons going to get scheduled?” I asked.  

Reverend Wakefield answered, “Through me, that way I can go and watch.  I can also arrange any new students. There is a phone out at Lallybroch and I will phone you so we can talk about a schedule.” He said and smiled wide.

I nodded.  We would need some type of income and I didn’t really want to leave the children for very long.  I didn’t think sword fighting lessons would be enough to support us but I kept quiet and let Jamie have his moment.  What did I know anyway?

“Congratulations.” I said and kissed Jamie, “You're in this century for a few days and you have work.” I smiled at him and squeezed his hand.

We left shortly after that.  Violet and the Reverend both wanted us to stay an extra day but I was uncomfortable being in the same place with Jamie that I had been with Frank.  I also knew how run down Lallybroch had got and I was worried about Jamie’s reaction.

“I am amazed at you driving this machine Sassenach, this is wonderful.”  Jamie said.  I was driving and he and Fergus were corralling the children.  

“Thank you.” I said and smiled.  In what felt like a very long time ago I had known women who wouldn't drive.  They were afraid to be in charge of a large ‘machine’ as Jamie would say.  I could recall driving my Uncle Lamb’s car as soon as I could reach the pedals and see over the dashboard.

“I don’t want you to be disappointed in Lallybroch.  It’s been a long time since it was built and…” I stopped because I saw Jamie wasn’t paying attention to me.  He was looking all around like he knew the trees and was marking them mentally.  We were less than a mile from Lallybroch and I thought I should be quiet and let him experience it as he wanted.  I looked back at Fergus and he was doing the same.

We pulled into the makeshift driveway that made LallyBroch’s dooryard.  Murtagh and Violet had been ahead of us and Murtagh was doing the same thing Jamie was; looking all around.  Acting like he didn’t have enough eyes.  Lallybroch was very different, but also somewhat the same. 

“I canna believe it stands, it’s a miracle, my Da would be so proud.”  Jamie said and, picking up Faith and Brianna, kept walking around.  I had little Murtagh in my arms and I just stared at Jamie in amazement.  First he gives a demonstration on sword fighting, gets people who want to learn from him, and is just happy Lallybroch stands.  He doesn’t see the load of work ahead of us, he sees what we have and he’s happy.  He is taking the change of century so much better than I did.  God, please let me be more like Jamie and stop worrying.

 

Thursday November 4th 1747

Lallybroch

Ian got up early to see the bedroom empty.  He figured his wife was caring for their bairns or cooking so he didn’t think her absence was odd.  He came down the steps and saw her by the fire in the parlor.  She had fallen asleep writing a letter.  Ian came over and tried to pick the items up on her writing desk but she woke and startled.

“Ian!” Jenny said, groggy and surprised.

“Jenny lass, when did ye get up?” Ian said as he saw the dark smudges under her eyes and he cradled her cheeks in his hands.

“A while ago.” She said.  Actually she’d never been to sleep, but she had been to bed.

“Get something to eat and go to bed before ye make yerself sick lass.” Ian said softly.  The last few days had been hard on them, particularly on his wife.  Jenny and Claire had spent all day together, every day, for a year.

“I canna sleep.  I will take a nap later.” Jenny said.  She thought about last night as she lay trying to sleep.  She would think of something and then think about telling it to Claire and then she would feel the sadness.  Her man was her man but Claire was her first real woman friend.  Ian agreed to the nap and their day started.  Jenny had a dram of whiskey after lunch and was able to nap until dinner.

Chapter 18: Church and letters

Notes:

To my clever, wonderful readers,

Thank you so much! This is fun to write anyway, but you make it a real joy. ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
I hope you enjoy this chapter, I did.

Let's all mentally thank Diana Gabaldon who thought up Outlander and these wonderful characters.

Chapter Text

Saturday November 7th 1747

Lallybroch

“Jenny, are ye going to write all night?” Ian asked his wife.  Dinner was over long ago and he wanted to go to bed with his wife.

Jenny looked up at him.  “A few more paragraphs, ye’ve told me to be done with it today so I need more time.” She said.  

“Alright lass.” Ian sighed and sat back down.  He pulled a chair close so he could prop his legs up and in a few minutes he fell fast asleep.

Over two hours later Jenny shook him awake, “I’m finished, lets go to bed.” She said without mentioning how long she took.  He looked around and knew the dark had grown but decided not to mention it.  Ian knew the loss she felt; he’d felt it when Jamie went away the first time and he hoped it would be easier for Jenny.  And with that hope they went to bed.

 

Saturday November 5th, 1949

Lallybroch

I was looking out one of the kitchen windows.  The window itself was new but the view was an old one.  I thought about Jenny and tried not to cry. I missed her very much.

Over the last few days we settled into the ‘new’ Lallybroch and got floors swept and debris cleaned up.  Jamie, Murtagh and Fergus were all amazed at how well Lallybroch had stood the test of time but I was worried about the cold.  The kitchen was finished and completed with modern appliances. There were two completed bathrooms.  Most of the big dining room was finished but on one wall there were two holes I could almost put my arm through.

There was one completed bedroom and two more that was mostly complete. On the first night Jamie and Murtagh had moved mattresses to the completed bedroom and put them on the floor.  That’s how we’d been sleeping, all in one room.  I hoped to change that today.  I wanted some privacy with my husband. 

The last two days had been almost in slow motion.  When we’d got to Lallybroch we relaxed and investigated the house.   We let it sink in that we had time traveled, and were going to live here for a few years.   Being at Lallybroch was perfect, I think.  There was a satisfaction of being ‘home’ in a way but it was also thick with remembrances of loved ones. I knew Jamie and Murtagh wouldn’t want to live anywhere else now, but the memories were almost overwhelming at times.

There was also the time between Jamie’s time and mine for the house.  We had no idea who’d lived here and when changes had been made.  There were changes, there had to be for the electricity and the plumbing and the windows and, well I could go on all day but there was breakfast to be eaten.

When breakfast was over and the kitchen was cleaned up everyone went outside to take a walk but it was misting so we sat on the porch.  I knew we needed to get into gear to get Lallybroch ready for the winter and I didn’t know if we should hire people or if Jamie and Murtagh could work with new materials and tools. 

“We have to get started on renovations.” I said to the quietness, putting my trust in my family to get the house ready for winter.   The children were sitting together on the floor and babbling together, but it was the only silence anyone with three young children had.  When they were awake.

“Aye Sassenach.  Murtagh and I were speaking about that just yesterday.  Where should we start do ye think, because we thought-” Jamie said but I didn’t wait for him to finish.

“The bedrooms.  We should start with the bedrooms.” I said quickly.  I was looking at Jamie who was looking at me.  Our eyes met and I tried to make him understand I wanted him.  At the least I wanted to lay naked next to my husband again.   I could feel my cheeks grow warm and I saw his pupils dilate. It was only a second but I saw him, I saw my warrior.

A few more seconds passed before Jamie said, “We thought to start in the bedrooms too.” He was still looking at me but he was smiling now.

“I thought-” Murtagh had started to say something but Jamie elbowed him in the chest and he smacked Jamie in the arm.  “Aye, the bedrooms will be a fine place to start too.  I could sleep without having to hear ye’re bairns.” Murtagh said and reminded me of a book I’d read many times as a child.  The Uncle character appeared to be grumpy and disliked children but when no other adults were around he lavished attention on the children and gave them candy. 

As if on cue Faith ran to Murtagh and called his name in her baby-like fashion, “Muta, Muta, looky rock!” She said and showed him her treasures.

“Murrrtagh,” He said his name and embellished his R.  Murtagh bent down and swept Faith up in his arms.  Her speech had progressed rapidly the last couple days, and I was glad.  

“Show me my ghost girl.” He said and ooo’d and ah’d at her rocks held together with a hair ribbon.  They left the porch together and he lay on the grass in the mist with Faith and they found ants and mosquitoes and many other things Murtagh tried to get Faith to pronounce properly.

I sat back down by Jamie who was watching the twins.  Fergus was sitting at the end of the porch reading a book.  I was surprised when he asked for history books but he was practically absorbing them.  I had no idea when the porch was added but it was wonderful.  It had a great view, a ceiling to keep out the rain and it was screened to protect from the bugs Murtagh was trying to teach Faith to pronounce.

We decided to get started as soon as the children lay down for a nap.  Jamie and I kept talking about the house but his hand came over his chair and dangled for a bit.  Then that hand reached out and held mine and squeezed.  I looked at him and he was smiling at me.  He was ready too.

~

“I wish you wouldn’t call her that.” I said to Murtagh much later when the children were napping.

“Call who what?” He asked.

“Calling Faith Ghost Girl, I wish you wouldn’t.” I said and tried to remain unemotional.  I remembered when I had been in the newspaper and everyone called me a fairy woman.  It was a nickname that separated a person from ‘regular’ people.

“Allright lass, I’ll stop.” He said and looked at me oddly.

“Is she not a ghost girl milady?” Fergus asked.

Jamie looked around and said, “Whether she is or isn’t, her name is Faith and she nae has the experience of life to understand pet names.” Everyone nodded their agreement.  I realized it didn’t matter the century, Jamie was a laird and his word was law. 

“And lad, ye’ve got to remember to call us ye’re Ma and Da.” Jamie gently added.

Fergus nodded and looked down and Jamie went to him.  “Fergus, ye are as good as my own son, and I want ye to call me Da.” Fergus smiled and nodded.  

For the next two hours we went through the supplies in the front room that Violet had been buying.  There were plenty!  We could easily finish the holes in the dining room and the windows in the two bedrooms.  Explaining the process of cement was a little difficult but the holes were repaired in the dining room and one bedroom almost finished by the end of the day.

As I was trying to figure out dinner the phone rang.  I was startled, I hadn’t seen it yet so I was trying to figure out where it was when Jamie, Murtagh and Fergus came flying in the kitchen with the children in their arms and tackled me to the ground.

“Sassenach, where are they coming from?” Jamie said and handed me a squawking Brianna and started to load his pistol.

I pushed away from him and got up.  “It is the telephone, it sounds different than at the manse.” I said and spotted it on the floor.

“Hello,” I said, glaring at my clan.  My elbows had been hurt a bit.

“Hello Claire, it’s Violet, how is everyone?”

“Hello, we are all doing fine, thank you for asking.  We’re just settling in and starting repairs.  How are you?” I asked.

“Och, I’m braw.  Listen, the Reverend and I wanted to invite you to dinner tonight, here at the manse.  I hope you can make it because I was supposed to invite you this morning but I got busy with wee Roger and it slipped my mind.”

“We can absolutely make it, thank you Violet! I will get everyone ready and we will be on our way soon.” I said and hung up the phone.

“Sorry, I, uh, forgot about the telephone.” Jamie said.

“Aye, sorry lass.” Murtagh said.

“It’s all right, it was Violet inviting us to dinner tonight.”  I said and watched Murtagh smile.

Jamie nodded and looked outside.  I knew he was guessing time.  “Do we have time to get there before dinner?”

“Yes, I can drive us.” I said.

“Aye, the machine.  Let’s get the bairns cleaned up.” He said and looked at the twin’s faces.  I had fed the children peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and only Faith had a clean face.  

Dinner at the manse was a popular plan.  My cooking was only passable but Violet was a whiz in the kitchen.  Everyone was cleaned up and in their new clothes (Jamie, Murtagh and Fergus wore their old clothes the last two days) in record time.  Jamie and I packed a bag for the children and we set off.

The twins fell asleep on the way but not Faith.  She was an odd one for sure.  When everyone was talking she was quiet like she was listening and trying to follow the conversation of adults.  She had the rounded tummy of a toddler but she seemed tall.  I knew she should have a vocabulary of hundreds of words but I guessed hers at 75 to 100 words.  She was still getting movement down and when she tried to run she would fall.  I knew I had to take her to a children's doctor to get her shots but I was worried she'd be branded deficient or they would find something wrong with her because she was behind on development.

I was thinking about contacting the nurses I’d worked with to get the name of a good doctor or just get them to give Faith the shots she needed.  I would talk to Violet and see what she thought.

We arrived at the manse and had a wonderful dinner.  Violet is a fantastic cook and I think the Reverend missed the company of Jamie and Murtagh.  After dinner Roger took Fergus to his room to show him a new airplane toy he’d received and we went to the front room to have a drink and talk.

“How do you find Lallybroch?” The Reverend asked Jamie.

“Very different Reginald, but also the same.  Do ye know the history of the house?” Jamie asked.

“A bit, but if ye like I can look into it.  You are speaking of when you lived there until current times?” The Reverend asked.  He’d given us leave to call him by his first name and Jamie and Murtagh had no problem doing it but I think he will always be the Reverend to me.

“Aye, I ken it until 1747.” Jamie said and smiled.

“Have ye thought about going to church tomorrow?”  The Reverend asked.

“No, but ye ken, we’re papists.” Murtagh said.

The Reverend smiled, “I haven’t heard that term, only read about it. I understand that and can give the address of a good Catholic church if you would like,”

Jamie looked at me and smiled.  I knew in his time going to mass on Sunday was a luxury he’d rarely had and he wanted to go.

“That would be nice, thank you.” I said.  I couldn’t recall the last time I sat through a regular mass but I would go for Jamie.

I got directions for the Catholic church and we made a plan to meet back at the manse for lunch after services.

It was dark on the ride home and Jamie and Murtagh talked the whole way.  They were very excited about going to church but I was worried about our clothing.  I knew mass required your Sunday best and I didn’t know if our best was good enough not to get ostracized.  

 

Sunday November 8th 1747

Lallybroch

The day started early because Ian had repair the barn.  A mule had kicked a hole through the barn door and tried to run out but got stuck in his hole.   Jenny was up and dressed when Ian got back in and he was disappointed.

“Let's go back to bed.” He said grumpily.

“Nae, let’s talk a walk.” Jenny said.  She was obviously very happy and it seemed wrong at this time of the morning to have that much energy.

“What is going on?” Ian asked.

“Today is the day, I find out if they are alright man, I will find out today!” She said practically dancing around him.

Ian shook his head in wonderment.  “If they are or if they aren’t, there is nae we can do about it.” He reminded his wife.

She huffed and made that all knowing Scottish noise in her throat.  “We will see about that.”  Jenny said and walked out of the room.  Ian decided on a nap.

Jenny went downstairs and looked out the window to see a light coating of snow had fallen overnight.  It was new and perfect and she watched it for a while until she sat down and started knitting.  She almost laughed thinking about telling Claire the mule had kicked a hole in the barn door and tried to escape into snow.

Upstairs Ian had already started snoring.

Sunday November 6th, 1949

Lallybroch

“If my family doesn’t hurry up I will have to leave them.” I called.  I was standing by the door after getting myself and three children ready.  Finally Jamie, Murtagh and Fergus came in dressed and looking very proud of themselves.

I studied them… they were wearing a mix of old and new clothes but they looked good and I was thinking we’d be fine.  Why were they smiling…?

“No weapons.” I said and the smiles went away.

“I told ye.” Jamie said and they all three dropped pistols and dirks by the door.

I turned around so they didn’t see me laughing and got the children to the car.

We made it to the church almost a half hour early and I was glad.  I’d planned to get there early because I’d guessed what the reaction would be.

“This canna be a church lass, it looks like a rich dandy’s house.” Murtagh said.

“You’re going to wish you hadn’t said that when we go in.” I parked the car and we went to the doors.

“Och, a church, as heavy as these doors are-” But I cut Jamie off as I saw a priest approaching.

“Good morning Father.” I said and held out my hand to shake his.  He took my hand between his two hands.

“Good morning, good morning, who do we have here?” He asked.

Jamie introduced us around and the priest nodded.  He asked where we were from as he knew his parishioners.  I was prepared.

“That's so kind of you to ask Father, can we go in? It’s cold.” I said

“Of course, of course” He said and led the way inside.

“We have been living in the remote highlands, but decided to bring our family closer to town so we are living at Lallybroch.” I said in a summary-like tone so he didn't ask any followup questions.  “I’m so sorry Father, but you didn’t introduce yourself.” I said and smiled at him.

“Father Kelty, glad to meet you, I must go prepare.” He left and I looked at Jamie and Murtagh who were quite impressed with the church.

“Fergus!” I said as I realized the boy wasn’t with us.  I looked around and so did Jamie.  

“These benches are so smooth, I bet no one got a splinter on these.” Fergus said as he popped up from the last row.

Jamie went to get him.  I looked around for a mass book so I could follow the service as I never quite learned all the Latin and Murtagh picked one up too.  We went up the center isle and found a seat. Murtagh was sitting next to Faith who was sitting next to me.

“What, how is this doone?” Murtagh asked me.

I looked up and saw him looking at the mass book.  He turned it around and saw the binding and looked up at me.  “I’m sorry Murtagh, I don’t know exactly how it’s done but I will tell you what I know when we get home.” I said.

“Aye” He said and nodded.  During the service he was content looking at the mass book and turning it all around.  He would be paying attention to the service then get sidetracked because of how many pages were in the book.  I was fairly sure I heard him whisper numbers and ‘color’ once also.  Fergus had history books he’d been reading at every available moment and I wondered how Murtagh hadn’t noticed those books.  

 I ended up having to take Brianna to what was called the ‘Mother’s Room’ where there were a lot of rocking chairs and crying babies.  On hearing the other crying children Brianna stopped at once and snuggled closer to me.  We sat in an empty rocking chair and she nursed until she fell asleep.  There was a rather antiquated speaker at the end of the room and the service was piped in so we could listen to it.  I watched the other mothers.  I wasn’t looking at one particular woman, more like all of them.  I wondered if I would ever be friends with any of these women.  How would it ever be possible; I traveled through time, came back, went back in time again and then came back and brought others not of this time with me.  ‘ Hi, my name is Claire and my hobby is time traveling ’ I thought to myself and smiled.

What would Jenny do if she were in my situation.  She would be friendly, until she had a reason not to be anyway. I looked up and tried to smile at the women who seemed to be looking at me.  A few women smiled back or nodded, it was a start I guess.

After mass was over I found my family still in the church looking around at the statues and stained glass windows.

“Sassenach, maybe we should ask the Reverend for a less opulent church.” Jamie said looking at a window he seemed to enjoy.

“They’re all like this, I don’t think there is a less opulent catholic church.  They’re all very decorative.” I said and picked up the children's toys that were on the bench.  

“Wow, all catholic churches look like this…” Fergus said.  He was looking at the decorative ceiling.  

“Let's get to the manse, to eat.” Murtagh said and picked up Faith.  I started to wonder why he always carried Faith but she had been holding onto him.  

We got to the manse and parked.  We were there a few minutes early and we walked around to kill some time.  All the shops were closed but you could see in the windows and I thought it was a great introduction to stores.  The twins seemed to be cold and we came back to get in the car but Violet was at the manse and ushered us inside.

“Och, why did you not come inside Claire? These bairns are cold.” She was taking off their coats and blowing hot air on their hands.  

“You weren’t here.” I said.

“I always leave the back door open lass, I’m sorry, I thought I told ye.” Violet said and started to make a  fire in their hearth.  Murtagh made a gallant gesture and built it up for her.  She handed him the matches but after his three failed attempts, because he had no idea what to do with them, she lit it for him.

“I have to work on that.” Murtagh said.

We all got warmed up and Violet brought the children warm cocoa in little cups with a lid on them.  I made a mental note to ask where she got them because I needed to get myself a few.

The children settled and I got up to ask Violet if I could help with anything.  She didn’t let me cook but I could usually set the table or pour drinks.  

I brought out small biscuits she gave me and as soon as I came out of the kitchen Murtagh went in and I heard Violet giggling.

I looked at Jamie and he looked at me.  We were both on the verge of laughing ourselves when the Reverend and Roger came home.

“Reginald, can I take ye’re coat?” Jamie said. He’d gotten up as soon as he heard the door and he helped the Reverend and Roger to get their outerwear off.

“Much appreciated Jamie.”  The Reverend said.

They came into the house and Violet came out of the kitchen quickly followed by Murtagh carrying a tea tray.  Murtagh was carrying the tea tray.  I looked at Jamie and he was looking at Murtagh.  After Murtagh set it down Jamie coughed a bit and Murtagh glared at him.

We sat and talked and ate biscuits.  Two men arrived carrying boxes and the Reverend told them to set it up on the table.  When I inquired about what was being set up on the table I found out it was our lunch.

“Violet is a guest at this lunch and I didn’t want her to have to cook.” The Reverend said and smiled at her.  She told him it was good money spent for nothing because she loved to cook.  It was agreed we would meet again next Sunday for lunch and Violet would be cooking.  It was also agreed we would come in the back door if we got here first. It was nice to really see Violet and the Reverend were more than employee/employer, they were friends.

The lunch was delicious and I got the name of the restaurant.  I was thinking if Jamie and I ever got to go out by ourselves it might be a nice place.  The talk was about the service and the church,  The Reverend talked about his church and his preaching topic that day.  Murtagh continued to flirt with Violet and she was definitely sweet on him.  

After lunch we were all having a drink and sitting by the fire.

“Have you had time to think about a schedule for your sword fighting lessons Jamie?” The Reverend asked.

“Nae, did ye ha’any idea’s?” Jamie asked.

The Reverend smiled and put his cake down on the table.  “I did.” He paused and smiled.  He went on to explain he thought about having ‘Weekend Getaways’ at Lallybroch where the weekend would be scheduled.  The guests would sleep in tents and the whole weekend would be scheduled with events of not only sword fighting but sleeping in the rough, cooking over an open fire, how to properly wear a kilt .  He and Violet would help shuttle the participants up to Lallybroch.

“Men do nae know how to wear a kilt properly?” Jamie asked, looking at me and the Reverend.

“The war took a lot of Fathers and boys are becoming men without male leadership in their lives.” The Reverend answered and looked at Roger.  He was sitting by Faith teaching her a game.

Jamie said it was something he needed to think about and the Reverend asked him to bring an answer next Sunday.

 The car ride home was full of talk about them hosting a weekend event and all kinds of ideas came up; sword fighting in stages so they could practice three or four times over the weekend, fighting with a dirk, making a tent, making a lean to, making a fire, cooking over a fire, hunting, and the list went on and on.  I was silent thinking about the money needed to start this up.  I wondered how Jamie would feel about me going back to work.  I didn’t want to hurt his pride but I didn’t want to empty our bank account to get this going and not knowing if it would be successful.  I stayed quiet and concentrated on driving.

Sunday November 8th 1747

Lallybroch

Ian was sitting next to the fire reading the Bible out loud to his son and his wife.  He heard a snicker and paused to give his son a stern look, but his son was looking at Jenny who was sleeping.  Ian sent his son upstairs to his room but warned him to be quiet as his sisters were napping.

Ian picked the blanket off his wife’s lap to spread it over her and saw she was clutching the rock.  He sent a silent prayer that she would receive a letter tonight; he worried that she might not get news.

Sunday November 6th, 1949

Lallybroch

9:00 pm

We’d had a nice relaxing evening and  I’d got the children to sleep and gathered the finished letters from Jamie and Fergus and Murtagh.  Fergus had written two letters; one to wee Jamie and one to Ian and Jenny.  Murtagh had written one paragraph to Ian and Jenny.  Jamie had written two letters; one short one to his nephew and ‘the wee girls’ and one long one to Jenny and Ian.

I’d written about ten pages to Jenny, one page each to Ian and wee Jamie.  I also had a ballpoint pen for Jenny, extra paper, buttons and coins.  When I wrapped everything together it was wider than the rock, so I wrapped everything differently and only folded the pages long ways and it was less than the width of the rock.  I wrote a short note and put it on top so she would know we were fine right away.

Sunday November 8th 1747

Lallybroch

9:58pm

“Ian, what time does the watch say?” Jenny asked.  She was sitting in their bedroom on the floor so no one could possibly see her through the window.  The children were asleep and no one else was in the house.  

“The same as the last time ye asked, 10 seconds ago.” He said.  Ian was sitting on a chair with his feet up ready to go to sleep when a light started coming from the rock.

“Ian, Ian!” Jenny whispered excitedly.

The rock was actually sparkling with light.  Jenny gasped when two fingers came through, “Claire!” Jenny wrapped two of her own fingers around them and they clasped fingers briefly.  Then Jenny put her letter in between of the two fingers and her letter was pulled through the rock.  A second later papers appeared and Jenny helped pull them onto her lap.  As soon as the paper was through the rock stopped sparkling and went back to normal; it even looked quite dull.  

Jenny crossed herself and so did Ian, even though he’d seen Claire go halfway through stone before.  Jenny was crying and shaking and Ian got down on the floor and took the rock from her and set it on the ground.

“Open the papers.” He said.

She picked up the papers and coins, buttons and the pen fell out.  Jenny let them lie and opened the front page and read out loud,

     “Dear Jenny and Ian,

     We are here, safe in 1949.  Here are the letters we’ve written.

     We miss you terribly, and pray you are safe and well.

     With much love,

     Claire, Jamie, Murtagh, Fergus, and the children”

Jenny was crying when she finished reading and Ian held her.  “They’re alright, they’re alright, thank ye God they are safe.”  She was saying.

Ian hid the rock, the letters and everything that was in them in the hiding place in their fireplace and they went to bed.  They both slept well all night.

Sunday November 6th, 1949

Lallybroch

9:59 pm

Jamie, Murtagh and Fergus watched the rock light up as I held it between my hands.  I focused on Jenny and Ian and Lallybroch in 1747.  The rock sparkled and lit and I knew I could do it.  I reached two fingers in to try and grasp a letter and instead I felt Jenny’s fingers.  I started to cry holding on to Jenny’s fingers.  I missed my friend, my sister, and I grasped her fingers.  She let go and put her letter through and I got it.  I sent my clumsy package through and she got it.  Before the rock cooled and dulled I heard Ian’s voice and then Jenny’s and I looked up.

“Holy God.” Murtagh whispered.  Fergus crossed himself.  Jamie was smiling at me like he was proud of me and I just smiled back.

I opened the first letter and I read aloud,

     “Claire, Jamie, Murtagh, Fergus and ye’re bairns;

       I miss all of ye and pray for ye’re safety.  It has been very quiet since you left.”

I looked at Jamie and said, “They’re fine and it’s quiet.”  for some reason that struck all of us as funny and we laughed.

Chapter 19: Marriage and Sweeties

Chapter Text

Monday November 7th, 1949

Lallybroch

We’d  all slept in the same room again last night but the window in the second bedroom was finished before lunch and Murtagh had moved his and Fergus’s mattress in the newly finished room.     

“What are ye doing lad?” Murtagh asked.  Jamie and I were in the dining room trying to feed the children so they could get down for a nap; if they were asleep we could have a quiet lunch.  But  we heard Murtagh and came out to see what was going on.

“I do not sleep in the room with you, you snore.  I sleep with mi- my parents.”  Fergus said.

Jamie looked at me. I nodded.  We had to claim Fergus and let him stay with us; we had to prove we wanted to be parents to him.

“Aye, Fergus sleeps with us if he likes.” Jamie said.  Murtagh looked at him and looked at me, then back to Jamie.  Jamie shrugged.  I wondered how long it took for them to develop their unspoken communication.  Although, I thought, Jamie and I had our own way of communication without words.

“Fine, sleep in your parents room like the bairns.  But come out to lunch with me.” Murtagh said.

“Out to lunch?” I said

“Aye, Violet is picking me up and we are going to lunch and then to look at shops.  Shops that have sweets .” Murtagh said looking at Fergus.  Fergus looked back at us.

“Aye, ye can go if ye like.” Jamie said to Fergus.

“Oui Monsieur, I would like to go.” Fergus said to Murtagh.

“Then get cleaned up and dressed.” Murtagh said.  Fergus was wearing his pajamas.  He dropped his mattress and ran to the bathroom for a shower.  Murtagh looked at us and put Fergus's mattress back in his own room, not our room.  I quickly understood I was going to be alone with my husband.  My stomach turned over in excitement.  I went back into the dining room to finish getting the children fed.

After they ate I went to the money envelope.  I had given everyone pocket money but I knew a large portion of that went to the collection on Sunday at church.  

Before they left I gave Murtagh ten pounds and told him to be sure to pay for the food and buy something for Fergus to occupy him. I gave him a quick lesson on tips at the restaurant.

“I give people extra money to do their job?” He asked.

“Yes, if you want to talk about it I will when you get home, just do it today okay?” I asked.

“Aye, fine, but I just want-” Murtagh started but the rest was lost when we heard a car in the dooryard.  He took off outside to meet Violet and I was surprised he gave up an argument that quickly.

I put some money in Fergus’s hand when he hugged me before leaving.

Violet had Roger and was happy Fergus was going with them.  They left and Jamie and I waved from the door.

He closed it and turned around to face me.  I started to speak but he leaned in to me and paused.  I met him and we kissed.  It was a long kiss, needy and eager.  By the time we separated, because Faith started crying, I was breathing heavily. 

“We have to get the bairns down to sleep.” Jamie said.  He was still only a few inches from my face and I gave him a quick kiss and went to get Faith.

I came out of our bedroom after getting Brianna down.  Little Murtagh could take a bottle that Jamie enjoyed giving him, but Brianna wanted to nurse.  Faith had waited to nurse but fell asleep before Brianna so I considered that a good thing.  I knew she thought she should, but it felt odd nursing a three year old child.

The children were asleep and Murtagh and Fergus were out of the house so now I just had to find my husband.  

I found Jamie in the dining room.  I stood in the doorway and watched him.  He’d moved the big table to one side of the room and brought a new mattress in to place on the floor at the other side of the room.  He'd put our blankets and pillows on the mattress and I saw him run his hands through his hair and straighten his clothing.  He hadn’t seen me yet and I acted like I had just spotted him.

“There you are.” I whispered.  I went straight to him and put my arms around him.  Seeing he was the least bit nervous made him even more attractive to me if that was possible.  

No words were spoken for the next hour.  We kissed like we were air to each other because in a way, we were.  Jamie ran his hands lightly down my arms and goosebumps raised over my entire body.  I shivered and brought him closer to me so we were touching.  He pulled my shirt off and I took the rest of my clothes off.  He was naked in record time and I smiled as we sat on the mattress.

I brought his head to my breasts.  I wanted him to empty my breasts again because it felt so freeing.  He was more sensitive on his back and I ran my nails right below his neck.

Jamie held my face between his hands and I saw the question in his eyes.  In answer I wrapped my legs around him and he entered me fast and hard.  It was a wondrous feeling to be joined with him again; like comfort and excitement rolled together.    In only a few moments and we were both spent.  My breathing was almost normal when I realized  Jamie’s earlobe was right next to my mouth.

We made love again and was working on a third time when there was noise from the room where the children were asleep.  

“Ma?” I heard Faith’s tiny little voice call out.  I kissed Jamie then got up to get her.  She was sitting up on her mattress looking around.  The twins were still asleep.

I went in and picked her up, even naked as I was.  She snuggled in close and I took her to the bathroom.  She still had some accidents but I was trying to potty train her. 

Jamie already had his pants on and he took care of Faith while I cleaned up and got dressed.  His eyes followed me everywhere and I hoped Fergus would be okay with Murtagh’s snoring tonight.

We ate and played hide and seek with Faith.   The twins woke up and I heard Faith call them Bree and wee Muta and that was sweet to me but Jamie laughed.   We did work on the third bedroom and got the window in much quicker than expected.  

I felt much better that evening.  If it is possible I think I had been physically aching for Jamie. He seemed more and more like he was getting back to his old self and I felt like things were truly going to be alright.  

I was making us sandwiches for dinner when Murtagh and Fergus came home.  We went out to say hello to Violet and Roger.

“Muta!” Faith yelled and ran to Murtagh.  I don’t know what attached her to him so strongly but it was sweet.

“Aye, Faith!” He said and leaned down to catch her as she ran to him.  He picked her up and twirled her around.  “I’ve brought ye a sweety lass.” Murtagh said.  She looked blank at that because she didn’t know what candy was yet.

Violet hugged me and we walked a little past the car.  “Claire, is it odd?  I do enjoy Murtagh’s company.” Violet said and looked nervous.

“Not at all, Violet, he is a good man.” I said.  Murtagh had many good qualities and loyalty was only one of those, even if it was the one I knew most.

I invited Violet and Roger in and they stayed past dinner.  When Violet was leaving Murtagh walked her out and Faith tried to follow them out but Murtagh and Violet were already outside.  I went to get her and saw Murtagh and Violet kissing.  I grabbed Faith and I went back to the kitchen where Fergus was still telling Jamie all about their day.

Later that night we gathered in the front room to sit by the fireplace and listen to the radio.  Before I turned it on I pulled out the letters from Jenny and Ian.

“I’ve gone through them and we have enough to read some every day and it will take us through Sunday, because I don’t want to read them all in one day.”  I said and looked at Jamie.  He nodded and Murtagh shrugged so I started,

“Dear Claire, Jamie, Murtagh and Fergus,

You left today and I tried to talk Ian into going after you.  Not to stop you, but to go with you to be sure you would be okay.  I miss you Claire, you were here with me every day.  I keep telling myself it is for the best; that you’ll be in a time where Jamie and Murtagh are free to live normally.  I miss you that’s all.

Ian and I have talked and we decided to tell people we had an argument with Claire and she took Fergus and went to see her family in France.  It will be hard to say but Ian had me practice so I sound convincing.  

The children are doing well but they miss their Auntie Claire.  I’ve told them letters will come.

I have prayed every few minutes for your safe travels.  I miss you all very much.

Please be strong and take good care of yourselves and each other,

Love,

J

Jamie got up and held me until I stopped crying.  Fergus got up and left the room and Jamie and I followed him to see what was wrong.  We saw him with his bag and trying to drag his mattress out of our room.  In the back of my mind I wondered how it got back in our room.

“What’s wrong lad?” Jamie asked.

“Be strong she said, so I shall sleep by myself, in my own bedroom. I do not need to listen to snoring and I won’t sleep with the babies.  Just wait till I tell wee Jamie I have my own room.” Fergus laughed and maneuvered his mattress and things into the third bedroom.

Chapter 20: Work

Notes:

To my fantastic readers,

Thank you for choosing to read this story!

Thank you Diana Gabaldon who created Outlander and actually has rights to these characters.

Chapter Text

Thursday November 12th 1747
Lallybroch

“If ye dinna settle ye will go straight to bed.” Jenny said to a sqirming wee Jamie. Ian was standing by the fireplace holding Katherine but he gave his son a stern look.
“Alright.” Jenny said and opened the letter for today. They had been trying to space out the letters from Claire and Jamie over the week so they have something to read everyday.


“Dear Jenny and Ian,


We took another ride today (in the car was written but they had previously read the letter and knew what to leave out for wee Jamie) and things are very different here. Life goes faster than I like, but we are safe.


We had dinner with Claire’s friends; Violet and Reginald, the pastor. Murtagh is sweet on Violet and it is almost painful to watch him try to express it to her. Her cooking is amazing though, almost as good as home. It is nice to have people to talk to (who know where we are from).


The bairns have settled in and started to sleep through the night again. We miss ye’re advice very much.


We think of ye both and wee Jamie and the girls everyday and we miss ye. Fergus talks about wee Jamie all the time and I know he misses his friend that was like a brother to him. Claire stares off in space, but doesn’t talk when she is remembering you Jenny.


We are living in a house that needs a lot of repairs. (What was written was Lallybroch needs a lot of repairs in 1949 but we are still very grateful to be here.) It is challenging to learn new ways and Murtagh is enjoying his grumbling.


(I know Claire has already told you about Faith. I keep thinking it’s not real but there she is with my hair and our Mother’s nose and Claire’s fingers. I dinna ken if it is right or not to have her, but she is here and I am grateful to God to have any time with her.) Jenny agreed with Ian that none of this was fit for wee Jamie.


I love ye and miss ye very much. I know I already said it and maybe I should articulate it better, but simply put,  we miss the rest of our family.


Ye’re loving brother,
J”


Jenny wiped her tears and folded the letter back. “To bed.” Jenny said and wee Jamie got up and kissed his Mother on the cheek, then ran up the steps.


When wee Jamie was up the stairs Jenny held the letter to her heart and took a deep breath. She looked up to see Ian watching her.


“I ken, just give me a minute.” She said and closed her eyes again. She smelled the letter. It didn’t smell like regular ink and paper. Jenny held it to her heart and imagined hugging Jamie and Claire, then read it through a few times.


Finally she handed the letter to Ian. He gave Katherine to Jenny and he read the letter once more. Then he tossed it in the fire and the two of them watched it burn.
Jenny was silently crying.


“It’s for our safety.” Ian said.


Jenny just nodded because she didn’t trust her voice. This was the fifth letter they’d burned and it was getting more difficult, not easier.

 

Thursday November 10th, 1949
Lallybroch

Jamie's POV

I’d woken early this morning, before anyone else. I slipped out of our bedroom and went to the bathroom and took a quick shower. Showers were wonderful. I’d like to thank the person who figured out how to pipe clean water into a house but Claire had no idea who that would be. I tiptoed back into our bedroom hoping to wake Claire with my head between her thighs but I was too late. She was sitting in the rocking chair we’d found, nursing Brianna. They were both wrapped in a blanket. I closed the door as quietly as I could; she hadn’t heard me yet.
I took a step into the room so I could see her better, The morning light was coming through the window and it lit her hair, all those wonderful unruly curls. Her eyes were closed and she had one leg up on the seat to help hold Brianna and the other touching the floor to rock. She was so beautiful. My cock grew hard just looking at her.
She was humming very quietly. Brianna was asleep and had detached from Claire’s breast; one delicious drop rested on her nipple. I wondered again what I had ever done in my life that God saw fit to give me this woman.


She stood up and laid Brianna down. Then Claire stood up and crawled back into bed. When she realized I wasn’t in bed she popped her head up, eyes opened, saw me and smiled. I saw her look down at my cockstand and she smiled even bigger. Claire pulled the covers back on my side and I went to get back into bed.
Instead of staying on her side she rolled over to the middle. When I got into bed she wrapped a leg around me and brought me towards her. I looked for her mouth and found it quickly. In the morning, Claire tasted like flowers, spring air and wild things. I gently bit her lip a bit and she opened her legs and took me inside her. She felt so good. I stayed still for a moment just feeling her but she whispered my name and squeezed my hand to let me know she wanted her pleasure. I started moving slowly because I knew what she would do. She tightened all around me and then I had to go faster. Claire pivoted her hips and she grunted as I went deeper inside her. She wrapped her arms around me and brought me closer to her. Claire’s release came quickly and in waves. Mine came a second later and was hard and fast.


I rolled to my side and brought her close to me so we could rest for a while. I held her hand and kissed whatever my lips could reach.


When I next opened my eyes Claire was gone and I knew it was late. I got up and dressed as quickly as possible and went to find Claire.


Murtagh was standing in the dining room looking out the window. I joined him to see Claire, Fergus and the children out walking.
“What time is it?” I asked my Godfather.


“Well, good morning to ye Jamie, how are ye?” He said.


“I’m sorry, good morning.” I said.


“It’s almost lunchtime. Claire took the children out to make something called a daisy chain.” Murtagh said.


“What is a daisy chain?” I asked.


“Do ye think I ken?” He said.


I looked at all the papers on the table. “What’s all this?”


“Since we decided to try what the Reverend suggested, to have weekend lessons, Claire wants to ken what we will need.” Murtagh said.


I sat down to look at the papers and before I knew it Claire, Fergus, and the children were back. There was a small circle of daisy’s around all their heads except Fergus; his daisy’s were around his wrists.


“Good morning.” I said and got up to kiss my wife. She smiled her mischievous smile.


“Good morning, are you feeling alright? You sure were tired.” Claire said and her eyes twinkled.


Murtagh looked at me and looked away. I think he *almost* laughed.


“I thought after lunch, after the twins go down for a nap we could do some shopping for supplies.” Claire said. I nodded. I had no idea where we would go but I could protect my wife anywhere.


Claire and I ate sandwiches and went over the pages of ideas of things we would need to get the sword fighting lessons started and figured out lists we would need if we took five students or ten students. As it worked out I would need ten to be profitable. I didna think there would be ten people wanting to learn sword fighting so we didn’t plan to get anything.  I would come up with something else.


Claire nursed the twins and Faith. The twins were asleep but Faith was still up. Claire was very hesitant to leave with Faith awake.


“Aye, the two of ye get out of here. Fergus and I can watch ye’re bairns. Two of ‘em are asleep!” Murtagh said and picked up Faith who was pulling on his kilt.


Fergus looked at Faith climbing all over Murtagh. “I will watch the sleeping ones milad-mother.” He said. Claire hugged him and I smiled and nodded at him. I should bring him something back.


“Aye Claire, the two of ye get out of here.” Faith said mimicking Murtagh. Murtagh laughed and I pulled Claire out the door.

 

When we went into the grocery store it was very hard not to gape in astonishment. Claire had already told me it was where you went to buy food, but I didn’t think there would be so much food there.


“Where does all this food come from?” I asked Claire.


“Large farms, companies that manufacture it, other places that I don’t know about.” She said and looked at the large pile of apples.


“If ye didna ken where it comes from how can ye purchase it?” I asked her. Then she told me about national standards and laws on companies that manufacture food. I didna say anything else but I would be happy when we grow our own food.

We were walking down the row with pieces of meat packaged up when I heard a familiar voice. I turned around and saw wee Roger running down the row. I put a hand down and picked him up easily. Children were easy to keep safe; it was all those other things you needed to do for them that was difficult.

“Hallo Mr. Fraser.” Wee Roger said with all the dignity he could muster while hanging upside down from my arm. I righted him and stood him up.

“Hello Roger, what are ye running from lad?” I asked with Claire looking at us.

“Mrs. Graham is making me take a bath when we get home.” He said, like it was the most awful thing in the world.

I leaned down to him so no one else would hear me and said, “That’s because ye stink lad. Ye should take it like a man, and be glad of it.” I smiled at him as he nodded. Just then Mrs. Graham came around the corner and we said our hello’s.

“Murtagh isna with ye then?” She asked quietly.

“No, not today.” I said and tried to hide my smile. She thanked me for catching the lad and before turning to leave looked back at us.

“Have ye made a decision about sword fighting lessons on weekends?” She asked. I looked at Claire and we didn’t say anything right away.

“Because the Reverend has had people calling him all week. From as far as London!” She said. “He’s got a list of eighty people last I saw it. Just something to consider.” Violet told us. We thanked her for the news and wished her a good day and we walked away calmly.

Claire nor I spoke the rest of the time in the store. We picked up a few more things; meat, ice cream and some sweets for the children. We purchased our food and got the bags in the automobile. As soon as the door closed we started talking again.

“Wow, eighty people!” I said.

“If even half of that comes for a weekend we would be set for the winter!” Claire said.

“How can I teach eighty people?” I said

“Ok, ok, we need to talk this through. We already have a new book for Fergus and bread from the bakery, a sport coat for Murtagh,” She was running a list in her head so I didn’t interrupt. “Okay, let’s get home and talk about this.” She said.

On the way home we talked about how I’d get started. I wanted to give a demonstration with Murtagh before I gave any lessons to be sure people knew what they would be learning. I’d seen the signs in town and there was a small fair at the catholic church we attended and I planned to call and talk to someone about putting on a demonstration.

Well, I would ask Claire how to call, I didn’t quite understand the telephone yet.

When we were almost home we passed the spot where we’d stopped on the way out to town. Claire had pulled the automobile over and not said a word. She didn’t speak when she parked, or when she situated herself, or when she leaned over and lifted my kilt, and she especially didn’t say anything when she took me in her mouth. I looked at her with a wide smile as I remembered it and I saw her smiling also.

When we got home I took everything in because she went to find the bairns. I knew it was hard for her to leave them. Fergus was in our bedroom trying to change the twin’s clouts and they were running everywhere and laughing. He was very relieved to see her, she told me later.

We didn’t see Murtagh or Faith but we heard giggling in the yard. We both looked everywhere to no avail. Finally I stood in the yard and bellowed, “Faith.”

“Aye lad, we’re up here.” Murtagh said.

Claire and I looked craned our necks to see Faith and Murtagh up a tree and I saw Claire visibly pale. “Come down.” I said and held Claire.

Murtagh jumped from about ten feet up, which I knew from experience he could do successfully. I’d never seen him do it with a passenger, but Faith was small and I hoped she made little difference to his ability.

He landed and the sound of his boots hitting the ground was a loud thud. Claire jumped at the sound and turned her head back to see Faith giggling and sitting on Murtagh’s shoulder.

Claire glared at Murtagh for a solid half minute and then she turned and went in the house after grabbing Faith.

“What did I do?” Murtagh asked. I looked at him and I knew it was a serious question.

“Come on.” I said and waved him over to continue working on the barn while I explained that taking our three year old up a tree is not a good idea.  I also thanked him for taking care of the bairns. 
~

Before dinner Claire gave Murtagh a mouthful and he apologized. She forgave him then it was over and we had a peaceful dinner. That was one of the many things I admired about Claire; when she forgave it was over. She didn’t bring things back up later.

After dinner was cleaned up we all played hide and go seek. Claire was intent on teaching the twins this game. When it was time for bed I liked to watch Claire. Her breasts were fit to bursting. We took the children in to go to bed and she nursed them while I read a book. I usually kept a blanket over my lap because I didn’t want my bairns to see me with a cockstand.

After they were asleep we went out to read another letter. Claire really looked forward to the letters.

I read it that night, it was from Jenny;

“Hello my family, I dreamt last night that ye came home. Ye’ll were fat and happy and had two more bairns for me to hug. Fergus was a man grown and Murtagh was marrit and had his own bairn. It was a happy dream but when I woke up I worried more because I thought mayhaps it was heaven I dreamed of because everyone was so happy. I will be glad to hear from ye, that is true. I didna ken what happened so I nae ken if ye’re safe.

I will admit to something. I love all of ye and I miss all of ye. But right now I miss Claire the most. Claire, we spent our days together, we talked and laughed together, we worrit together. I miss my sister, my friend.

I pray every day, every hour, for the safety of my family.

I love ye,
J”


I looked up to see Claire crying and I moved wee Murtagh over to sit by her.

Fergus got up to read us his letter to wee Jamie. It was all about his room that was his own; his comfortable mattress, the tall dresser, the mirror on the wall and the books he was reading. My ears perked up but he gave a very general description of the books. Claire laughed through her tears. We listened to a song on the radio and went to bed.
We walked with Fergus to his room and let him show off a bit. Murtagh was standing back shaking his head; he was worrit the lad would get soft. I just wanted to get to bed, Claire needed comfort and I gave it to her the best way I knew.

 


Friday was calm, Murtagh and I worked on repairing the barn and figured out what we would do for a sword fighting demonstration and even had time to practice a bit. Claire had given me the number for the church office and I called to ask if Murtagh and I could do a performance. They were happy to have me perform and offered me money to do a thirty minute time slot two times on Saturday. I said nay to the money; how could ye take money from a church?


Saturday was dry and warm for November. We borrowed a cloth push cart with wheels the bairns could sit in but Faith would be walking. Well, walking whenever Murtagh wasna carrying her.


We went to the fair and checked in to let them know we were there. They gave us paper exchange slips for food and drinks and such. There was a machine that Claire called a ‘ride’ and Faith and Fergus went on it. It looked dangerous so Murtagh and I moved to opposite sides of the thing and were prepared to catch Faith and Fergus in case it collapsed. It was fine though and the lad said it was fun and Faith kept asking to go again so they rode it once more.


Claire went into the tent marked ‘Mothers tent” and it was as she thought; a tent for women to nurse their bairns in private. She took the twins and went in, Faith wanted to stay with us. While we were waiting Reginald and Violet found us and we had a pleasant exchange of saying hello and watching Murtagh’s cheeks turn pink when Violet kissed his cheek.


“I’m surprised to see you at a catholic fair.” I said to Reginald. In my time the pastors and father’s would never have crossed paths.

“We worship the same God, aye? And it’s nae a mass, just a fair to raise money. Did ye see there is to be sword fighting in thirty minutes?” He asked.


“Aye, it’s us. Murtagh and I will be doing it.” I told him and he looked stunned.


“So, you’ve decided?” He asked me.


“Aye, we have. We would be very happy to teach young men to sword fight.” I said and nodded to Murtagh but he was speaking quietly with Violet.


“I’m very pleased Jamie, I think this would be an excellent source of income for you, that way Claire won’t go back to work. I know she said she wanted to and it’s a good source of income but…” He went on for a few more minutes but I didna hear it. I never thought of Claire working. Why had I never thought of it? She is a healer, a nurse she called it in this time, I ken it, and she loved to help people. I turned around to go in the tent to talk to her and remembered at the last minute it was for women only.


“Claire,” I called. “Are ye in there alone?” I asked. I hadn’t heard any talking so I thought she was but I didna want to open the door and break the privacy in a women's only tent.


“Yes, why-” She started but I was through the tent door leaving Reginald wondering what was going on.


Wee Murtagh was sleeping in the push cart and Claire was feeding Brianna. I got one of the chairs and moved it close to Claire.


“Why didna ye tell me ye wanted to work?” I asked.


“What?” She said.


“Reginald and Violet are standing outside the door. Did ye tell Violet ye wanted to go to work?” I asked and she stared at me for a minute then looked away.


“Nae lass,” I gently brought her chin back up to look at me, “talk to me, tell me.” I said.


“Yes, I told Violet I wanted to work.” She said. “But it’s different here, I would have to leave the house alone and go to work alone. I didn’t want to bring it up because we are still new, I wanted to be sure you and Murtagh could manage before I brought it up, I wanted to be sure the twins would be alright without me.” She said.


“We can manage, go to work.” I said. “I’m a grown man, I can manage Claire.” I said. I ken I was out of my own time but it was humiliating to think my own wife thought she had to care for me like I was a lad.

“Wait,” She said. Brianna was finished and let out a loud burp and closed her eyes. Claire put her in the cart.

“I know ye can manage, but the twins, they are still nursing. How can I leave you when I haven’t shown you how to light the oven, -” She was listing things but I cut her off.

“Show me tonight.” I said.

“Or how to drive in case you need to get medical help and I’m not there.” She said and her voice quavered. This was it, this was the big reason. She was not only nursing the twins and making us food, she was the only driver and she worrit for our safety.

“Claire, ye must teach me. Unless ye want me to learn from someone else.” I said. She looked at me with a tear in her eye and nodded.

“Uh,” we heard Reginald clear his throat from outside the tent. “Sorry, but if Claire is too busy I can teach ye Jamie.” he said.

I looked at Claire and we both smiled and shook our heads. She buttoned her top back up and wrapped the blanket around the twins. We left the tent and it was agreed they would both teach me.

After that Murtagh and I went to prepare. We were dressed in full highland garb except for the heavy little clips Claire got us. We put them inside the kilt so they didn’t show but they were heavy to keep the kilts down in the wind.

When Murtagh and I came out there must’ve been fifty people or more to watch us. I was the one speaking as Murtagh made it plain he was not going to talk to this big group.

“Hello, thank ye for watching our little demonstration.” I said and turned back to Murtagh because I didna ken what else to say.

Murtagh and I had worked on how to get started in the barn the previous day but we both forgot it because we started the same way we always did to get our exercise and before long someone blew a whistle.

When we stopped everyone was clapping, and the crowd had grown. The priest came over and said to the crowd, “I know ye all have questions, but they went the 30 minutes so we have to get the next show started.”

Murtagh and I picked up our things and we went back inside to clean up a bit so we missed the rest of the exchange.

The priest had gone on to give the next time for our display. People had yelled questions and Reginald had announced he knew me and how to get signed up for lessons which got him mobbed by the crowd. Half of them were still there when we came out.

“What is going on?” I asked Claire, seeing the mob around Reginald.

“He is taking names and numbers of people that want lessons from you.” She said. I looked at her to be sure what she was saying was true and no a joke. When she looked at me I saw she was proud of me. I think my shoulders grew another inch and I felt taller. My woman is proud of me.

“Uh, do ye mind teaching lasses?” Reginald asked much later that day when we were walking to our automobiles. I looked at him.

“I dinna think lasses would want to learn, nae I dinna mind. I will teach lasses.” I said.

“Then including the one hundred and three names I have at the manse, you now have one hundred and ninety six possible students.” Reginald said and looked at me.

I stopped and looked at him. One hundred and ninety six? I knew it was not possible if Reginald had not suggested I go into that class and I nodded my thanks to him. He smiled and nodded back.

We said our goodbyes and we would see them the next day for lunch.


Murtagh and I talked all the way home about how to get started and we wondered if a full weekend was the way to go. Maybe we could get ten wooden swords and have a short, one or two hour introduction course for a small price so people could try it. To be sure they wanted to commit to a weekend.


We got home and I helped Claire get the children fed and down before showering myself. I was very proud of what we’d done to get students but I wanted to be sure I talked to Claire about her going to work.


She was sitting on the porch drinking a cup of tea and I kissed her and sat next to her.


“How do we get ye to work?” I asked.


“Are you absolutely sure Jamie? Because once I start-” Claire was saying.


“Sassenach, stop. Do ye want to work?” I asked.


“Yes,” She said.


“Then it is simple ye ken, if ye want to work then ye will work.” I said and held her hand.


She looked at me and raised her eyebrow. “Some men do not want their wife to work.” Claire said. I kent that, I had known men that didna allow their wife off their property let alone to earn money.


“Ye are not a regular woman, ye are my extraordinary wife. If it is my choice then I say ye can do anything ye want, well, that's reasonable.” I said and kissed Claire’s hand.


“I will call the hospital in the morning and inquire about available spots.” She said and sat her cup down and sat in my lap. She kissed me and I returned it. She smelled of herbs and I knew she had been working in the kitchen.


“Let’s. Go. to. Bed.” Claire said each word then accentuated it with a kiss. How could I not agree?

 

Chapter 21: Effects on a Sunday

Notes:

Here is the updated and completed chapter!
I am excited for my lovely readers to read this one!

 

Thank you Diana Gabaldon who created Outlander and these characters.

Chapter Text

Sunday November 13th, 1949

Lallybroch

Claire’s POV

 

I woke up early today for some reason and put my robe on, made myself some tea and sat on the porch.  I loved this view; I could see the sun rise.

I was thinking about starting work.  I had the number written down by the phone to call tomorrow morning. 

As I was sitting there I saw a person walk up over the hill.  I watched him for a while and when I saw he was coming my way I started to stand up and go into the house to get a weapon but as soon as I stood up I saw it was Murtagh.  

He came to the porch and dropped his things.  There were four dead pheasants…? Quail… ?

He sat down next to me and took a big drink from my cup.

“Ach, I thought ye had whiskey lass!” He said and swallowed it gingerly.

“The sun is barely up, why would I have whiskey?” I asked him, but Murtagh just looked at me blankly with a tiny smile on his face.  I knew that look; I’d traveled with him long enough to know when a question just didn’t seem valid to him.

I stood up, “I will go get you whiskey.” I started inside.

“Lass, sit down.” Murtagh said so I sat down.

“See,” He made that deep Scottish noise of disapproval in his throat.  “Claire, what is wrong with ye’ lass? He asked.

“Nothing is wrong with me, why?” I asked.

He made the noise again.  “See, again. What are ye doin? Ye were never a meek little lass, where is ye’re fire? A few years ago ye’d never get up to get me whiskey, especially if I didn’t ask for it yet.  If ye were in a good mood ye might bring me a bottle but only after I asked ye twice.” Murtagh said and looked in the distance.

“I didna think I even heard ye say curse words since we’ve been here?”  His voice softened and he asked, “What has changed Claire?” Then he looked at me.

I didn’t know what to say at first.  Initially I thought I hadn’t changed, but the more I thought about it the more I knew he was right.  By a little.

“You’re right.” I said and looked in the distance.  Why have I changed, and why didn’t I realize it myself?

Murtagh coughed and spit my tea out; he was taking a drink when I told him he was right.  I handed him my napkin and looked back in the distance.

“I’ve tried to stop cursing since I had the twins.  I don’t want to have young children getting confused with sailors.” I said, still looking in the distance.  Maybe I was a little defensive but what parent of young children ever went around cussing?

“What?” Murtagh asked.

“You know, because sailors curse a lot, that's the saying.” I said.

“Lass, I dinna ken what ye’re talking about, but if it helps ye get yerself right, just go on about it.” Murtagh said and put his feet up.

I didn’t say anything for a long couple of minutes.  “Maybe for multiple reasons; I wanted to be sure you and Jamie would be happy here with me.”  I said softly.  

Murtagh didn’t move but he said, “Jamie would be happy to be with ye in any situation, as long as ye’re wit’ him.  Dinna go changing for him, he loves ye as ye were lass.  I like ye well enough and ye ken it.” Murtagh didn’t look at me.  

“My Mother died when I was very young and I don’t know how to be a wife and mother without turning into a regular Betty Crocker I think.” I said slowly, like I was pulling the thoughts out as they came.  "I miss Jenny." I said softly.

Murtagh gave his Scottish throat noise that sounded like he agreed with me.  I wondered if he knew who Betty Crocker was anyway.

I stood up quickly and Murtagh looked at me in surprise.  “I’m going to talk to Violet.  She is a widow and raised children, and she didn’t lose her identity.” I said and walked to the door.

“Lass,” Murtagh jumped up and grabbed his...rabbits!? Why did I think they were birds?  “Can I come with ye?” He asked.

“Sure, but today’s Sunday, it’s Church first, and we all are going.” I said and smiled.  He gave me the Scottish noise again.

I went to the kitchen to make coffee as Jamie and Murtagh liked it- dark and rich.  I was looking through the cabinet thinking about stopping at the grocery store when I heard noises then the children started crying.  I ran to my bedroom.  They didn’t wake crying anymore; usually the children woke in good moods. 

When I got there I saw Jamie still on the bed,  having what appeared to be a seizure and the twins sitting on their beds crying.  Faith was sitting next to Jamie on the bed patting his hand.  I stuck my head out of the door and yelled for Fergus and Murtagh.

I got his pillow under Jamie’s head and I put mine behind his head so he didn’t hit the wall.  He seemed to calm a bit when I touched him.  I looked at Faith and she nodded.  Did she realize that too? 

Fergus came in the room and I had him get the children out. I was keeping both hands on Jamie and I was still  running seizure issues through my head... no previous seizures known, no seizure disorder, no recent bumps on the head… and then it hit me… damn!  I had only opened it once.

“Murtagh, get the little package that is in my old cloak.” I said quickly.  Murtagh gave me a look.  “Just do it, please!” I said.  He went and got the little package from Master Raymond and brought it to me.  He was looking very curious.

“Open it.”  I said and nodded to the bed right in front of me.  I didn’t want to take my hands off Jamie.   Master Raymond usually wrote instructions on the inside of packages and this one was no different;

Changes to time can cause problems for travelers and can manifest by headaches, nausea, even as much as seizures for untreated symptoms.  A pinch under the tongue every 12 hours will hold the symptoms at bay until the memory straightens itself out.

I read it quickly to refresh my memory and took a generous pinch and got it near Jamie’s tongue at least.  His seizure lasted about thirty seconds more, then was completely gone.

 When Jamie stopped seizing Murtagh let his breath out and sat on the floor, right where he was standing.  I looked at Murtagh and he looked at me.  Jamie hadn’t opened his eyes.

I checked his pulse and he had one.  “His pulse is strong.”  I slapped Jamie across the face.  I don’t know what compelled me to do it but I slapped him before I even thought about it.  “Wake up you damned stubborn scot.”  Murtagh picked me up and set me about 2 feet further back from the bed.  We stood there for a minute, then we heard;

“Sassenach, ye dinna hav’to slap me.” Jamie said.

I let out the breath I didn’t know I was holding and Murtagh hugged me.  We both made the sign of the cross.  This was not natural behavior for me and I knew I would think about it later.

Jamie sat up but he was tired and wanted to go back to sleep. I refused and told him to get dressed because he was going to the hospital.  This was my time and we were going to do this my way.  I felt the fire coming back already.  I don’t think I actually lost it, maybe it was just dampened. 

Jamie was stable so I got everyone loaded up in the automobile then came back for him.  After I got him in we left for the manse.  My plan was to leave Murtagh, Fergus and the children with Violet while I got Jamie checked out.

Thankfully Violet was home.  I should’ve called before I left but I just didn’t think about it.  She was very nice about me leaving my group with her and I set off to the hospital with Jamie to get checked out.

I parked the automobile and we were walking up to the building when I said, “There is a lot of advancement in medicine, everything might look...odd.”

Jamie nodded and took my hand.  I was more nervous even though he was the one having a new experience.  We entered the hospital and went to the emergency room.   They weren't busy, so we were taken straight back.  Vitals and blood were taken.  Jamie was very quiet through it all.  The doctor did recommend an EEG.  

After the transport person took Jamie back for the test the Doctor and I talked.   Doctor Curraigh knew me from when I worked at the hospital last year and he asked if I was looking for a job. I told him I was and had planned to inquire for half time positions tomorrow.  The Doctor said he would get with a few people and let me know, so I wrote my phone number down for him.

Jamie came back in the room and we were told everything looked fine but he was to take it easy for a few days and they would let us know if his blood work shows anything abnormal.

As soon as we got in the automobile Jamie let loose on the advancements.  “I canna even imagine how all these things came into being.”  He took my hand and said, “I am so proud to have a wife who knows how all those things work.”

I looked at him for a minute and I felt warm all over.  Then the reality of what he said sunk in and I told him, “I don’t know how all those things work, just some of them.  You see-.”  But I didn’t get to finish my explanation because Jamie kissed me.

We drove past Violets house because I saw her new car was gone.  I figured she was likely at the manse and I was correct.  When we got there I saw Violet and Murtagh were sitting in the front yard enjoying the unusual  warmth of a November noon. Faith was sitting in Murtagh’s lap and Violet was holding his hand.  

I started to open Jamie’s door for him but stopped myself.  He only fumbled twice.  Fergus is the only one who got in and out of the car without issue.  Come to think of it, Fergus was doing quite well in this time.  

Everyone swarmed to Jamie as soon as he was in the yard.  I could see his balance was still a little off and he took the twin’s hands instead of picking them up like he would normally do.

We got inside and we were sitting around the table drinking tea and eating sandwiches that Violet already had made for us when Murtagh said, “Well, what happened?”

Everyone got quiet and looked at Jamie.  He looked around the table.  “I’m fine, I ken something’s not right, but I feel fine.  My brain is trying to bust out of my skull sometimes, but I am alright.”  He emphasized the ‘alright’.

Violet looked at me.  I explained further, “He had an EEG and it was clear.  He had an xray of his skull and it was also clear.  He’s been having headaches and an upset stomach.  He hasn’t communicated this so I was unaware.  I think it is a problem related to time travel.”  I took a drink of my tea and told her about the package from Master Raymond.

“How long hav’ye had the symptoms Jamie?” Violet asked.

“Just a couple days, maybe a week.” Jamie said.

“But ye’ve been back thirteen days.” Violet said and looked at me. 

I nodded.  I was very worried about these symptoms that seemed wrong.  If Jamie had problems from changes in time why didn’t he have them when we first got here, after I killed Jack Randell.

The Reverend came home and insisted we stay for dinner.  Jamie, the twins and Faith took a nap in our old room.  Violet and I talked and we went over home remedies for nausea.  I told her about acting like Betty Crocker and we talked about her married life.

The twins and Faith woke up after about an hour and a half or so but Jamie slept until dinner.  Fergus and Roger had a grand time playing together.

Dinner was made for us and another ten people.  There was so much food it didn’t fit on the table; Violet had a row of dishes on the counter.  It was delicious.  Maybe I should ask her for lessons.

While we were eating dessert Violet brought up an interesting idea.  “Claire, if ye would like to have a girl out to Lallybroch while ye work I can give ye a few names of local girls I ken.”

“That’s a great idea-” I started to respond but wasn’t able to finish because a fork clattered to the ground.

“Do ye think I am not able to care fer my own bairns?” Jamie asked me slowly.

“Of course you are, but you have your own work, getting the sword fighting lessons off the ground.” I said.  I really never thought he wasn’t capable, just that things would be busy.

He looked at me for about half a minute and it was silent.  I stared right back.  I was telling the truth; I just thought things would be busy and it might be nice to have help. He finally saw I was telling the truth and he nodded.

“I see yer point, it might be nice to have help if we can afford a servant.”  Jamie said and started eating his cake.  Then we had to explain the differences in servants of his time and a sitter or housekeeper in this time.  It was very difficult to not laugh during this part of the evening.

After dinner I had a quiet moment alone with Jamie and I opened the pouch so Jamie could take a pinch to put under his tongue.  He was reluctant but he took it.  When we got ready to leave Violet loaded us up with leftovers that I tried to give back, but was grateful when she refused.  I thanked her again for today and expressed my apology for her not going to Sunday service.  She was nice about it, and told me God understood.

 We were coming back in three days because Jamie and Murtagh were giving an introductory lesson to a group of ten people.  I hoped Jamie would be ready.

We loaded ourselves in our car and I drove home.  I saw Jamie watching everything I did and made a mental note to not let him drive for at least a few days.  The children and Fergus fell asleep in the back seat.  Faith was on her ‘Muta’s’ lap and was very cute holding onto him.

We pulled up in the dooryard and we started to get out of the car.  Jamie pushed the children back into the car and whispered, “Sassenach.” I knew what that meant and I quietly opened the glove box and handed him his dirk.  I looked around… a snake?  A wild animal…?

Then I looked to the door and the steps and yelled for Jamie to wait. 

 Master Raymond was sitting on the steps.

Chapter 22: A murder reversed

Notes:

Hello!

I hope you enjoy this chapter. I love hearing back from the readers so please feel free to drop a comment.

Diana Gabaldon is the creator/owner of Outlander.

Chapter Text

Sunday November 15, 1747

Lallybroch  9:59pm

Ian and Jenny sat where they had been sitting last week with their letters and the rock.  She was so excited and nervous it was difficult to wait.

10:00pm

Jenny had to remind herself to breathe.  In a minute she would be touching Claire and getting more letters from her family.  Maybe more buttons, the ones from last week were wonderful and they were on Ian’s good coat.

10:02pm

Jenny was starting to get very worried now.  She looked up at Ian and he shrugged.

“What could be holdin’ them up?” Jenny let out a long breath.

10:05pm

“Maybe they canna send it today?” Ian said.  He’d already fallen asleep downstairs and the sun was up early even in November.  Jenny said nothing.

10:08pm

“Ian!” Jenny said excitedly.  He’d dozed off with his head against the wall.  He sat straight up to see the rock lit up.  It sparkled with a bright light.

Jenny held it and stroked the part where Claire’s fingers had come through last week and she was not disappointed this week.  She saw two fingers come through; Claire’s long graceful fingers that smelled like herbs.  Jenny grasped them like last week but it was more than two fingers.  Claire’s whole hand came through the rock and she grasped Jenny’s hand and Jenny held it in both of hers.  Jenny saw the ring her brother had given Claire and she held tight.

Ian was just watching.  The rock was shining a little bit blue now and he was worried about the change.  Ian moved closer to his wife just in case something happened.

“Jenny, sister, I’m sorry we were late.” Jamie said with tears in his throat.

Jenny gasped her surprise.  “Jamie, it’s alright, just don’t forget about me.” She managed.

“Never Jenny, but I can’t hold this for much longer, read the pouch tonight, please.  Can we do this again tomorrow at the same time?” Claire asked.

Jenny looked at Ian and he nodded.  “Yes, yes.”  She said while nodding.

Claire released her hand and grabbed the large stack of letters and pouch of powders and instructions.  Not thinking about it, she pushed them through the rock with both hands.  Jenny laughed on the other side.

“Sister, ye ken we really need to talk!” She smiled wide while she traded letter stacks.

“We will Sister, tomorrow.” Claire said.  Jenny barely heard the word tomorrow as the rock darkened and then went dull and quiet.

Jenny looked at Ian and then leaned in to kiss him.  “I am going to go through this pouch tonight, go to bed man.”  

Ian thought about trying to wait up but nodded and went to bed.

 

Sunday November 13, 1949

Lallybroch  7:38pm

Jamie stood there and I worried what his reaction would be to Master Raymond.  He didn’t move for a minute; Jamie just stood there and looked at Master Raymond.  Jamie said, “Good evening Master Raymond,” only he said it in perfect French.  Master Raymond replied the same way.  They spoke for a minute, on the steps,

Finally Jamie turned around and came back to the car.  He handed his dirk back to  me.

“Claire, you take this.  I decided I dinna want to stab him.”  Jamie said and gave a little smile.  I put it in my bag, I didn’t want to leave it in the car. 

We got the children and our things out of the car and walked up the steps.  

“Madonna.” Master Raymond said and bowed.

I nodded and unlocked the door, then said hello.  Jamie and Murtagh took the children and went in first.  Fergus carried the food and I saw Master Raymond look at the bags.  After everyone was in I invited him inside.

“Have a seat.” I said and motioned him to the table.  He sat down and I unpacked our leftovers from the manse and got Master Raymond a plate.  He ate heartily.  I saw Master Raymond as a French person with the highest of manners.  To see him now with meatloaf on his chin and shoving green beans in his mouth with speed made me pause and I stopped blaming him for Jamie’s seizure.

When he slowed down I decided it was to talk.  “When did you get here?” I asked.

Master Raymond swallowed and thankfully wiped the meatloaf off his face.  “Four days ago.  I had to travel on a regular day, instead of a feast day so it was exhausting.  I slept on top of the hill for the first two nights and I’ve just been trying to find you ever since, I should have remembered you were here.”  He said and then took a big drink of milk.

“Why did ye come here? Why did ye go through on a regular day?” Jamie said from the doorway.

Master Raymond had startled when Jamie spoke.  “Oh, please come sit with us.” Master Raymond said, standing. Jamie, Murtagh and Fergus came in and sat at the table.  Had they been lurking outside the doorway?

“I came here now because I had to…” Master Raymond looked at me, “Change what we did Madonna.” He said.

I looked at him without saying anything.  The only thing we’d done is kill Jack Randall and get Faith.

“Killing Jack Randall at the time we did it,” he motioned to me, “Had to be undone.” He said quietly.

I stood up.  “Faith.” I said.  Okay maybe the monster lived but what about my wonderful, strange little girl.  Murtagh and Jamie stood with me.

“I do not know Madonna.” Master Raymond said.  Murtagh went for him over the table and Jamie had to pull him back.

“Tell us what ye do ken.” Jamie said, still holding a grumbling Murtagh.  I was glad he asked because my hands were shaking.

“Killing him so early had other problems, problems that couldn’t stand.  I know you remember killing him Madonna, because you did, but that was changed.  I injured him, badly.  He could not rape anyone nor could he do anything with his right hand because it is gone.” Master Raymond said.  He finished looking like he was proud of himself.

“Faith.” I said again.  Jesus H Roosevelt Christ if I didn’t get a better answer I was going over the table myself.

“I do not know Madonna.  What we did has been undone, so I would think if she is still here then there was no sword fight between Jack Randall and Jamie Fraser that day in Paris.  If there was no fight, you Madonna would not have miscarried, so Faith is here and will stay with you.  That is my assumption.”   Master Raymond said.

The tension went out of  Murtagh.  Jamie and I looked at each other remembering that dark time in our marriage.  The moment was a long one, but I turned when I heard Faith’s voice.

“Yes Momma?” Faith said while she rubbed her eye and stood at the doorway.

“Oh baby, I’m sorry,” I picked her up and held her close, “I was just saying what a good girl my Faith is.” I said and kissed the top of her head.

Murtagh took her for me, “Come on ye wee lass, it’s off to bed fer ye.” He said.

“I want to sleep with ye Muta.” Faith said and nuzzled into Murtagh.  He looked at me and I knew he wanted it.  I looked at Jamie who gave a slight nod.

“Jamie would you please put Faith’s mattress in Murtagh’s room.” I said and Faith cheered.

“No playing!” I said to her and kissed her on the forehead.  Jamie, Murtagh and Faith left the room.

I sat at the table and looked at Master Raymond.  I had always found him so elegant and wise.  He looked dirty, rumpled and I think he’s aged quite a bit since Paris.  There was no reason to be angry at him.  He wasn’t in control.

“Jamie had a seizure this morning.  He’s been taking the powder today but is there anything else I can do?”  I asked.

“Talk to him about his memories, that helps them to... straighten out so to speak.”  He said and reached into his bag bringing out two pouches.

I looked up at the clock.  It was almost nine thirty and I needed to put an end to this conversation.  I still needed to gather the letters and prepare to send them through the rock to Jenny and Ian and bring ours back.

“I brought more powder for you and your family, and I have a small pouch for you to send Jenny and Ian.  Since there were changes to Jack Randall twice they might be experiencing symptoms.”  Master Raymond said.

“Thank you.  I’m sorry we were angry at you, it felt like you were threatening Faith.” I said, hoping he didn’t carry a grudge.

“Of course Madonna, it is alright.”  Master Raymond said and smiled.  “Perhaps you should write a letter to Jenny and Ian to explain the powder.  I spoke with Ahote who told me you used the rock on Sunday nights.” Master Raymond said.  I nodded and went for pen and paper.

___________________

Lallybroch  1949  November 13

9:59pm

“It’s too much, you do it.” I said to Master Raymond.

“No Madonna, you can do it.” Master Raymond said.

I looked at the bundle of paper; in 1747 paper was very difficult to come by.  I knew I should send it, but that and the letters and the pouch… it was just too much.  

Jamie was watching me and we locked eyes.  Fergus was long asleep and Murtagh had fallen asleep reading Faith a book.  He smiled and nodded.  It was amazing to have Jamie in my corner; I felt like if I had the support of a man who could do what he could, then I could do anything.

“How?” I asked Master Raymond and I saw him smile

10:05pm

“I know I’m late, give me a minute.” I told Jamie.  I knew Jenny wouldn’t give up, she would wait.

I closed my eyes and asked for help.  I took a few breaths and opened my eyes.  I held the rock and felt the energy.  I stared at it and thought of Jenny and Ian and wee Jamie and...

10:08pm

The light was bright now, I knew I needed to put my whole hand through and grasp Jenny’s hand so she knew it was me.  I was sending her medicine and she had to be secure about where it came from.

Jenny held my hand between two of hers and I turned my hand to be sure she would see my wedding ring.

Jamie walked up next to me and said, “Jenny, sister, I’m sorry we were late.” He had a soft look around his eyes thinking of his sister.

Jenny’s response came loud and clear,  “Jamie, it’s alright, just don’t forget about me.” 

“Never Jenny, but I can’t hold this for much longer, read the pouch tonight, please.  Can we do this again tomorrow at the same time?” I asked.

“Yes, yes.”  Jenny said.

I released her hand and grabbed the large stack of letters and pouch of powders and instructions.  Not thinking about it, I pushed them through the rock with both hands.  I heard Jenny laugh.

“Sister, ye ken we really need to talk!” Jenny said.

“We will Sister, tomorrow.” I said.  

I pulled my hand back through and the rock dulled.  I tried to put it back on the table but I swayed and the table seemed to move.  

“Sassenach.” I heard Jamie say from far away and the next thing I knew I opened my eyes and I was laying on the floor with Master Raymond’s glowing blue rock.

I have to get one of those!

“Madonna?” I heard Master Raymond say.

“I have to get me one of those glowing blue rocks.” I said.

“Madonna, you must rest, we will speak more in the morning.” Master Raymond said and I closed my eyes.  I was exhausted.

Jamie picked me up and took me to bed where I was back to sleep in about 4 seconds.  

That night Jamie called Violet and agreed to a trial run of one of the women she’s chosen as possibilities to come help us.  She had to be able to cook and Jamie told Violet that would be most of the job.  

He also got Master Raymond settled in a mostly finished room with a mattress on the floor.  I found out later they talked a bit and made their peace.  Jamie blamed Master Raymond for giving me the name of the L'Hôpital des Anges in Paris and keeping me away from home.  Master Raymond didn’t apologize but asked why should a ‘master’ healer be kept away from patients.  I laughed when Jamie told me he used the word master.

The next day I woke up feeling wonderful and I reached for Jamie because if he was feeling good too, then maybe we could even feel better together.  He wasn’t there.  Faith was sitting by the open door and when she saw me she yelled out the door that I was awake then she ran to me and sat on my lap.

“Momma, you come meet Lily.” Faith said and bounced.  Jamie and Murtagh came to the door.  Murtagh stayed at the doorway but Jamie came in.

“Sassenoch, are ye alright?  How do ye feel?” Jamie asked and sat next to me.

“I feel fine, very good, who is Lily?” I asked.

Jamie smiled, “Get dressed Mo maise” he said and left the room.

I looked around and the twins were already up too.  I got up and went to the window trying to gage the time.  As soon as I got to the window I remembered I had clocks.

 I got dressed and went out to the kitchen to see it full.  Violet, Murtagh, Jamie, Fergus and the children were at the table talking.  I’m guessing the strange woman at the stove was ‘Lily’.

I walked up to her, “Hi, I’m Claire.” I said.

“Hi Claire, I’m Lily.  Give me a few minutes and I will shake that hand.”  She was cooking pasta and grilled sandwiches.  There was a pot of soup at the back of the stove.

I smiled at her and went to sit at the table.  I found out Jamie had called Violet last night who’d called Lily this morning.  She served lunch and served the children grilled cheese sandwiches.  Fergus got an adult portion and I could see him sit a little taller.

Faith was sitting next to Murtagh who helped her and Lily was sitting between the twins.  I ate heartily and Jamie looked at me often.  I knew he was worried about me but I felt fine.  Lily fit, and it was comfortable having her there.  We couldn’t speak openly about travel and differences in time like we were used to, but it would help us immensely.  

In five hours time she bathed all the three of the little ones, washed a load of laundry and hung it outside, cooked lunch and ate with us and helped the twins, and prepared dinner.  She left dinner in the refrigerator with cooking instructions.  At the end of the day I asked her how often she could come and she was easy to work with our schedule.  Lily was fine with the housekeeping/cooking and child care ratio and we agreed on a fair pay amount.

“Is Miss Lily gone?” Master Raymond asked.

“Yes, she just left.  Why?”  I asked. 

“Madame Graham is knowledgeable about what we do?” He asked me.

“Yes, she knows it all but she left with Lily.” I answered.

 “Please, come with me, I want to show you something Madonna.”  He said.

I followed him to the table and sat next to him.  Everyone else sat back down at the table and looked at Master Raymond.  He pulled out two large pieces of almost clear colored quartz or quartz like rock.  I didn’t know rocks and minerals well but I could guess a few common ones.  He handed me one of the rocks and held the other.  

It was the blue rock healing method he used.  Master Raymond taught me to create the light and use it.  I was very happy because there were so many uses for it.

That night I was able to hold the communication rock open to talk for three minutes; Master Raymond was timing me.  Jamie and I were both exultant to speak with Jenny and Ian.  They weren't having any symptoms, thankfully.

The next night it was four minutes.

The next was five minutes, and so on till I got up to eight minutes.  I didn’t seem to be able to go above eight minutes but Master Raymond said I would be able to hold it open for longer with time.  

The blue rock healing method had a much higher learning curve.  I was getting rather discouraged on this one.

I had taken Jamie out driving since he didn't have any more seizures or symptoms.  One the second day we started taking a trip to the hospital every day.  I wanted to be sure he could bring anyone in our family to the hospital if they needed it. Since Lily was coming everyday I started also teaching Murtagh to drive and he drove multiple times to the hospital.  I wanted to be sure I had all my bases covered.

That Saturday Master Raymond left.  It was funny; when he came I was mad at him for Jamie’s seizure - even thought it was not his fault, Jamie was mad at him for giving me the name of L'Hôpital des Anges in Paris, and Murtagh gave him the stink eye just because he was an outsider.  On Saturday when Master Raymond left we were all sad to see him go.  When he left we made sure he looked much better and had a bag of food.

After Lily got there Jamie and I drove him to craigh na dun.  It was a sad parting, but Master Raymond pulled out a stone and told me if I had absolute need of him to knock twice and wait, he would help if he could.  I was surprised, but very glad and I told him so.

Master Raymond pulled out two large emeralds and did something that I unfortunately couldn’t see.  He turned and smiled at me, “ Au revoir Madonna!” and he was gone.

Jamie pulled me away from the stones because I not only felt their pull, so did my clothing.  I had a simple dress on and you could see the skirt pulling toward the rock.  He got me away and we made our way down the hill and sat on the car to catch our breath.  

Jamie was looking at the rocks on the hill.  “Are you sad you aren’t going back to your own time?” I asked him.

He made the Scottish noise deep in his throat and I took it for no.  “I am happy here with ye, my Sassenach.  I ha’na  seizure since the one.  I do feel out of place still, and I ken it is because it is not my time.  I will go back soon enough, but for now I have my Sassenach and my family.   I am teaching a sword fighting lesson this eve, and making money for my family.  For my bairns.   One of those bairns my wife stole from death.  I am thanking God for my happiness.”

And then he kissed me, a long kiss.  We got off the car onto the grass and didn’t get in the car for an hour later.

Chapter 23: Faith explained

Notes:

Hello readers,

I had planned to write this much later but due to confusion I thought now might be a better time.

This is short and the timeline is out of sequence, but I hope everyone understands why Faith had to be. Maybe she is spurred to do what she does because it affects a member of her family... wink wink

I hope she makes more sense now.

Chapter Text

Boston Massachusetts

Massachusetts General Hospital 

Wednesday May 3rd 2029

Faith put her glasses down after reading the report.  She’d done it, and she paused a moment to soak in that feeling.  Faith put her glasses back on and re-read the results of the study.  Everything was exactly the same as when she read it the first time.

Faith picked up her phone to make a call but stopped.  Maybe she would savor it for a few more minutes before she made the calls.  If her Mother were here she would be ecstatic.  Faith took a minute to think about Claire; she was the reason Faith was a doctor, a researcher.  She remembered those hands that would cradle her and her siblings and stitch up knees after falls.  Faith shook her head to clear away the cobwebs.

Faith reached for the phone on her desk but there was a knock at her office door and she said, “Yes?”

The door opened and her first born son came through the door.  “Late night Mom?” Murtagh asked as he walked in the office  and kissed her cheek before sitting in the chair on the other side of her desk.

“Aye, but I got the report.” Faith said and waited for Murtagh to ask.

He looked at her for a minute and said nothing.  “Well, come on, what does it say?” he asked.

“I did it Murtagh.  I know there are all sorts of terrible diseases and sicknesses in the world.  But I have the cure for cancer.” Faith said slowly.

“Cure? Are you sure?” Murtagh asked.

“This is the third trial, this is the third time we have one hundred percent of the treatment group cured.” Faith said.

Murtagh jumped up and hugged his Mother.  “Are we going?” He asked eagerly.

“Yep, we are going back.” Faith said and hugged her son again.   

Chapter 24: Frank comes to Inverness

Notes:

Hello Readers!

I wrestled with this chapter a bit, but I really like it. As I am about a fourth of the way through this little adventure I hope you are loving it as much as I am!

As we all know Diana Gabaldon is the genius behind Outlander

Chapter Text

Lallybroch, 1949

 

Jamie and Murtagh’s first sword fighting lesson was a huge success.  Twenty students were invited and not only did all of them show up; four brought a friend who wanted to sign up too.  Jamie and Murtagh were tired, but happy afterwards.  Violet and I served sandwiches and lemonade to the students and the teachers.  

Sunday we went to church and to the Manse afterwards to have lunch with Violet and the Reverend.  They were both, understandably so, full of questions on our eventful week.  We had to leave early because we were getting a furniture delivery at Lallybroch this evening but I was trying to answer all their questions.

Violet and I got up to get dessert when I froze at the voice that came through the front door.  Jamie saw my reaction and stood up and reached for his sword which wasn’t there and then he reached for his dirk that wasn’t there either.  We’d made it a Sunday rule to leave weapons at home. 

Jamie looked to Murtagh and each took a door.  I shook my head and looked at Jamie whispering, “It’s Frank.” Jesus H Roosevelt Christ!  Why the hell did Frank come without planning it with the Reverend?

Jamie stayed where he was at the door.  The Reverend got up and spoke quietly, “I’m sorry Claire, Jamie, I had no idea he was coming.  I will get him to my study and close the door so you can leave.”  I nodded at him and tried to smile.

“Why is everyone so quiet?” Faith said in a loud voice.  Murtagh went to get her and told her they were playing a quiet game.  Fergus, always picking up our moods so well, picked up Brianna and was bouncing her.  I picked up little Murtagh and Jamie had our bag with the children’s things.

The Reverend opened the door to see Frank two steps from opening it himself.  “Hello, it appears you have guests, I apologize for coming without…” and here his voice faded out as he saw me.  “Claire.” He whispered.

The Reverend started talking, trying to get Frank into his study but Frank might as well have been deaf.  He just stood there and stared at me.  Jamie and Murtagh were staring at Frank, likely due to his looks being so close to Jack Randell.  We were stuck there for what felt like forever but was really only about thirty seconds.  Then, like a guard, Jamie got on one side of me and Murtagh the other.

Fergus and Brianna were behind us and like a wave, once we passed Frank we moved to the side and Murtagh said, “Come along lad.” and Fergus and Brianna moved in front of us.

I knew Frank had a temper but I also knew this protective behavior was due to his resemblance to his ancestor.

 I nodded to Frank and we pivoted to walk out when Frank put his hand on my shoulder.  

It took Jamie one second to get Frank's hand off my shoulder.

“I’ll thank ye to keep ye’re hand off my wife.” Jamie said in a controlled voice.  “What do ye want of her?”

I saw Frank’s face grew red.  “She is my wife.” He spat out.

“Was Frank. I was your wife, but I am no longer.  Good day.” I said and turned to leave pulling on Jamie’s hand.

“Are those your bastard children?” Frank snarled.

“That’s two Frank.” Jamie said.  “Get to three and we’ll see what happens.”  Jamie looked down on Frank who was nowhere close to his size.  

Frank turned around and punched a hole through the Reverend’s wall.  Murtagh had dropped my hand and I reached out thinking to try to stop it, then the Reverend stood between Frank and I.

“It’s okay Claire, you go, I will take care of this.” The Reverend said and nodded at me.  Jamie and I stood at the door and waited till everyone else was through it before we left.  All three of the children were crying.

Frank was yelling, “Claire what’s his name? Whose children are the older ones?  Where are you living?  I can’t believe you left me for this low life!”  Frank was very angry.

We got in the car and Jamie was driving.  My hands were shaking but Jamie appeared to be calm;  he was very focused on the road.  Faith was on Murtagh’s lap in the back, Brianna was back with Fergus and young Murtagh was in my arms.  Eventually they all calmed down.

When we got home I took the children into the bedroom to try to get them to sleep for a nap.  Fergus, Jamie and Murtagh said they were going to take care of things and I knew they would be locking doors and checking windows.  They were securing the house; they were warriors and Frank’s resemblance to Jack Randall shook us all up.  

I got the children to sleep and I waited in the kitchen.  Lily didn’t come today so I was making some tea to serve with the cake Violet had tossed in our bag.

Seeing Frank was traumatic, and I was worried at the time, but at Lallybroch with Jamie and Murtagh checking our doors and windows I felt safe. 

“Are ye worried Saaenach?” Jamie asked me. 

Murtagh, Jamie and Fergus came back into the room and  I served them cake and tea, then added a nip of whiskey to Jamie and Murtagh’s cup.

“No, Frank has a temper but he is nothing like his ancestor.” I said

“He looks like his ancestor.” Fergus said.  I patted his hand remembering what Fergus went through.

“Aye,” Murtagh said, “I even remembered that mad bastard's voice when I saw Frank.” Murtagh shook his head.  

“Frank doesn’t know where we live, and even if he found out you are securing Lallybroch.  Everything will be fine.  I was thinking of lying down for a little bit, anyone need anything?”  I asked. They shook their heads no so I went to take a nap.  

 

As I walked down the hall I heard Murtagh, Jamie and Fergus made a plan to repair a window and tighten a lock on the back door. 

Clothes in this time were immensely more practical but sometimes I missed my shift.  Sleeping in my shift was always comfortable.  I fell asleep and when I heard talking and the twins babbling  I looked up to see Faith sitting with the twins trying to teach them Patti cake.  I watched for a while; Faith was infinitely patient with her little brother and sister.  I wondered if that had to do with Murtagh.  Faith adored him and Murtagh is always extremely patient with her.  I put my head back down on my pillow and I wondered if Frank would really leave us alone.  I started work in a little over a week and I was sure he would be gone by then.

While I was lying there Jamie tiptoed in thinking I was still asleep.  

“Ach ye wee lad and lasses, come on, let ye’re Momma sleep.”  Jamie said.  He’d picked up both the twins and Faith had a hold of his pant leg.  He grabbed the bag with diapers and such in it and turned to walk out of the room.  His eyes met mine and I smiled.  He looked so happy with his children and there was so much warmth in his eyes.

“Come on wee Faith, let's go.” Murtagh said from the door and she went to him.  Jamie winked at me and left the room.  I got up and dressed but slowly.  I think all the excitement with Master Raymond and the dang rocks had me exhausted.  I paused and pondered something… I wondered what time he was really from… if he was from this time or close to it he might’ve been a Geologist or something similar and discovered the rocks he used.

I went to the kitchen to hear a ruckus coming from the front room.  There was no furniture in that room, what was going on?  I went to the front room.

I saw Jamie, Fergus and Murtagh trying to get the twins to walk.  They were almost walking; they could take a few steps and fall over.  Little Murtagh was doing better than Brianna but I think it was because she was so chubby.  Faith was standing in the middle of it all yelling, “Let’s go bairns!”  She was likely mimicking Murtagh.

I knew they just needed practice and I wasn’t going to miss anything so I went back to the kitchen and got a cup to go express milk from my breasts.  None of my children were really nursing anymore and I kind of missed the bond.  I didn’t make the choice to stop; life just got busy and they had a difficult time staying put long enough to nurse without falling asleep.  My breasts didn’t want to give up, that was for sure.

I heard something large pull up and I knew it was the furniture truck.  I was very excited to get highchairs and proper baby beds.  They were also delivering bed frames and headboards, a toddler bed for Faith, a bicycle for Fergus and a little pink bike for Faith, and two adults bikes for Jamie and Murtagh that was a surprise. 

When I came out everyone was outside admiring the size of the truck and peering inside.  I went to stand beside Jamie who was holding Faith. She was kissing him on his cheek.

“Thank ye Da, kiss for a new bed.”  Faith said and kissed Jamie’s cheek.

“Thank ye Da, kiss for a new bed.” Faith said again and kissed Jamie’s cheek.

“Ok honey,” I took Faith from Jamie, “Da is going to have to sign the clipboard.” I said.  I saw the delivery man trying to figure out if Murtagh or Jamie should sign.  They heard me and went to Jamie.  I’d made sure to put the order in his name only the day we shopped for our new furniture; it was common for things like this to be in the husband’s name.  I didn’t want it to be in my name in case the delivery men said something.  Jamie always made sure I was respected in his time and since we were in my time I wanted to return the favor.  

The high chairs were the first thing brought in and assembled.  Jamie and Murtagh watched them closely as they put them together.  I was so thankful to have highchairs as soon as they were assembled I put the twins in their chairs.  I gave them lunch and I sat down with a sandwich.  We had lunch for Faith but she was so excited there was no sitting still right now.

Items continued to come in the house and get put together with Jamie and Murtagh watching them like hawks.  Fergus had sat down to eat lunch with me and we talked about the sword fighting lesson from yesterday.

“Sassenach, bring Fergus and Faith.” I hear Jamie call from outside.  I looked at the twins and laughed a little.  Fergus picked up young Murtagh and I had Brianna and we walked outside. Faith was in Murtagh's arms.

The delivery men walked out the bike for Fergus and the small pink bike for Faith.   

Fergus was just staring at it.  “Lad, this is for ye.” Jamie said to Fergus.  Jamie stood there and watched Fergus take the bike from the delivery man and walked up to Jamie to thank him.  He probably didn’t know how to ride it.  Jamie had rode one all around the store and decided Fergus had to have one.

Next was the surprise.  The delivery men wheeled the large bicycle out and looked at Jamie who looked at me.  “You had so much fun, I added to the order.”  I said to him.  Jamie took the bicycle and laughed when they wheeled one out for Murtagh who grumbled about it.

“It will be good for your health.” I said and the delivery men tried to hide their smiles.

They next wheeled out a small pink bicycle and Faith squealed with delight when Jamie told her the bike was hers.  

I took the twins inside after they started bringing in the headboards.  I had a plan of course.   Murtagh and Jamie could put the twins in the carriers and ride with Fergus and Faith.  I didn’t want them at home with nothing to do while I was working.  

It was a fun evening getting all the new furniture and the boxes of new books we’d ordered.  Violet had talked to me about putting Fergus in school and I needed to talk to Jamie about it still.  

So later that night when the children were asleep and Fergus was reading A Tree Grows in Brooklyn I decided to bring up the idea.

“What do you think about Fergus going to school?” I said to Jamie with an eye on Fergus.  His eyes got big and he looked at Jamie.

“What kind of school?” Jamie asked.

“Here older children go to school to learn reading, writing, history, mathematics, and government.  We could go to see the local school?” I said.  Fergus was nodding his head up and down.

Jamie looked at him.  “I want ye to be educated, but education is a privilege and if ye go, ye must treat it as such.” Jamie said.

“Of course Milord, I would be very happy to go to school.” Fergus said.

“And ye must remember to call us ye’re Ma and Da.” Jamie said and smiled.

“Yes, Da.  Uh, do ye think me being French might be an issue?” Fergus asked.

Jamie looked at me. “I’m sure it will be questioned, but if you say you lived in France some of your life, that should explain it.”  I said.  It was the truth after all.

Jamie and I were going to look at the school the next day and if we liked it we’d try to get Fergus back after that.  We also had to find out what we needed to get him caught up.

Finally we all went to bed.  I didn’t know it then but Murtagh took the first watch keeping an eye out for Frank.

Faith slept in her new bed in Murtagh’s room.  She’d apologized to ‘Muta’ because he wouldn’t fit in her new bed so he had to sleep on his bed all alone.

“Sassenach, I like the beds for the bairns.  I dinna have to wait until they’re asleep to do this.” Jamie whispered as he kissed my neck.  We were laying in bed and momentarily I wondered if they were asleep but knowing they were safe in the baby beds helped take my mind off them.  Jamie mistook my silence and got up to check on the twins.  He nodded at me to indicate they were both asleep.  When he got back in bed I made sure he understood exactly what I wanted.

Jamie and I made love that night.  It was sweet and slow and felt so natural I cried at the end because it was over.  He held me tight against him and we fell asleep that way.  I woke some  hours later to use the loo and he was awake when I returned.  I kissed him, long and hard so he was gasping for breath.  He entered me fast and hard; just what I wanted.  This time it was over in minutes and we both fell asleep shortly after.

The next day we did go look at the school.  It looked great but unfortunately they thought Fergus might have problems keeping up because we told them his schooling was ‘intermittent’ which was to say, taught at home.  They did enroll him as an at home student and we left with Jamie carrying an armload of books and work for Fergus to do.  They expected everything to be finished in a week and the teachers wanted to meet him then.  

Fergus was disappointed not to be going to school but he was happy doing the school work.  

The rest of the week passed quietly.  I took Jamie and Murtagh out driving a lot.   They kept trying to get the twins walking.  Fergus, Faith and Murtagh learned to ride a bike and I was glad to see how much Murtagh enjoyed it.  He actually laughed.  Laughed.  Murtagh.  More than once.

Frank didn’t make an appearance.  I called Violet and was told Frank was staying at the manse through the weekend so lunch was off.  Wednesday night I held the stones open for eight minutes to talk to Jenny and Ian.  They kept us up to date on the kids and the farm.  On Sunday I opened it again and we passed letters and I sent about thirty buttons.  I didn’t understand the fascination, but I had felt the same about penicillin.  

Lallybroch 1949

November 21, Monday  

I woke up a little past 5am panicky because I dreamt I slept through the alarm and when I got to work Jenny was my boss.  In the dream my boss Jenny said, “Love forces a person to choose.” 

I lay in bed and thought about that for a long while.  Finally Jamie sat up, kissed me and told me it was time to get up.  It didn’t matter what time period he was in, Jamie had a good sense of time.  I was frequently lost without a clock.

We snuck out of the bedroom; we’d put everything we’d need to get dressed in an empty room.  An empty cold room.  We dressed quickly and went to the kitchen to get something to eat.  Murtagh was already there and had gotten some water started for tea and coffee.  

“Good morning Murtagh.” I said to him.  He looked at me and was going to reply but he just kept looking at me.  

“What?” I looked down at my uniform and checked for spots.

“Lass, that is the longest dress ye’ve worn since we’ve been here. It looks verre nice.”  He said and put bread in the toaster.  

I looked at Jamie who was obviously laughing but trying to look like he was checking out the window.

 “This is a standard nurses uniform.” I said and looked at the plain dress with the long white apron that tied at the back.  I looked at both of them and neither would meet my eyes.

“Oh enough” I said and went to the bathroom to put my headpiece on.  I looked in the mirror and realized I didn’t like it either.   They broke out in full laughter when I came back in with the headpiece on.  I ignored it, but I was smiling.  It was funny.  

After I ate my breakfast I got my lunch and Jamie and I got ready to leave.

I went to Murtagh and put my hand on his shoulder.  He looked at me seriously.  “We’ll be fine, and your bairns will be fine too.”  Murtagh said.

“Thank you.” I said to him and kissed his cheek.

Jamie and I left.  The plan was for Jamie to drive me to work then pick up the grocery order I’d called in Friday and drive back home.  

“Sassenach.” Jamie said to bring me out of my thoughts.

“Yes?” I said.

“What are ye nervous about?” He asked me.

“Nothing.” I said and realized I just lied. “Everything.” I said and knew that to be the truth.  “I know everything will be fine, I know you will keep our family safe, but I’ve never been away from the children this long.”  I said and I looked out the window.

“And Murtagh made me realize I do not like my uniform.” I said.

Jamie laughed a little and held my hand, “Sassenach, if ye’ve changed ye’re mind it’s okay.” He said and squeezed my hand a little.

I thought for a minute.  “No, I haven’t changed my mind, I want to work.  Nursing will keep my skills sharp for when we go back.  I can learn of any new things that come up, things that might help our family.” I said and thought of my other reason, “I know you will be making enough money to support us with your lessons and we won't really need more income but we could save the money I make and travel! I would love to take you and Murtagh and Fergus through France and Italy.” I finished and wandered off mentally.

Jamie parked in one of the hospital parking places; he was really very good at driving.  Especially when he wasn’t calling it a confounded machine. 

He turned to me and held both my hands.  “That sounds wonderful.  But if we dinna go, our life is wonderful now.  Work or don’t work, it is ye’re choice.”  He leaned towards me and we kissed.  He got out of the auto and came to my side to open my door.  I got out and he spanked my bottom lightly.

“Go do ye’re healing Claire Fraser.” Jamie said and kissed me again.  He handed me my lunch and I went to work.

I turned at the door and he was still standing by the car so I waved and smiled at him, then I went to work.

Jamie stood by the car waving until he didn’t see her anymore.  He smiled and shook his head, thinking about women.  Claire was just missing her bairns, he thought.  He got back in the car and started on his way to pick up the grocery order.  

What Jamie nor Claire saw was Frank.  He was sitting four rows over and he spilled his coffee when he saw Claire.  He knew she would work; she loved helping people.  He had talked her into botany to satisfy her brain and it had for a while.  He knew she would make it back to nursing and he was right. 

Frank ducked low in his seat and watched the exchange.  As soon as Jamie started their car back up and set off on his way to the grocery store, Frank was right behind him.

Chapter 25: A Wedding is Planned

Notes:

Happy reading!
And let's thank Diana Gabaldon for creating Outlander!

Chapter Text

 Lallybroch 1949

November 21, Monday  

Frank had followed Jamie to the grocery store and parked several cars away so he didn’t get discovered.

“Getting groceries is a woman's work.” Frank said to himself and smirked.  He watched Jamie put the bags in the car and wondered how many people they fed.  He thought back to the night at the manse...three adults and four children but two were infants.  Briefly Frank wondered if the older two children were the other man’s, the red hair on the girl...

From the grocery store Jamie walked to the small bank.  Frank thought about going in to try and see what he was doing but didn’t because the likelihood of being spotted was too high.  Jamie came out of the bank smiling and Frank gritted his teeth.  The little scene in the parking lot where Jamie smacked Claire’s bum kept replaying in Frank's mind.  Frank never expected to find her with another man.  She was a divorced woman with two children! What man would want her?

Jamie drove away and Frank pulled in behind him.  Frank let some distance accumulate between them because they were the only two cars driving out of town.  After some distance Jamie pulled over and Frank had to drive past him or it would look suspicious.  Frank wasn’t too worried because he knew he could find the car.  Frank looked in his rearview mirror and saw Jamie picking wildflowers and Frank punched his own leg.

Jamie picked a good bunch of wildflowers and drove the rest of the way home.  He’d thought maybe they had a visitor following him home but the auto had driven by so Jamie figured it was a neighbor he hadn’t met yet.  

“Da!” Faith ran to Jamie as soon as he got through the door.

“Good morning my Faith, how are ye?” Jamie said, picking up his daughter.

“I’m fine, thank ye.” She said in her toddler accent of not quite pronouncing everything.  Faith hugged his neck then looked at him.  “But Muta is having a bad morning.” She said and kissed his cheek.  Jamie hugged her again and sat her down.

“Let’s go find Muta.” Jamie said and Faith led him to the bedroom where the twins were awake and running around.  They apparently thought it was hilarious that they were naked.  They were both running around Murtagh.

Jamie tried to hide his smile.  “Murtagh, I’m back..  I’ll get the bairns if ye get the food from the car.”  Jamie said.

“Done.” Murtagh said and immediately got up.  On the way out the door Murtagh stopped and looked at Jamie.  “Did Claire get off to work alright?”  He asked.

“She is fine, just missing her bairns.” Jamie said and went in to dress the twins.

The day passed quietly.  Violet called and (after having to call three times to get someone to answer the phone)  Murtagh answered.  They made polite conversation and Jamie watched Murtagh try to flirt over the phone.  Violet told Murtagh that Frank left the day before and they would like to come over and bring dinner.  Murtagh graciously accepted and let Lily know she could go home early if she wanted.  

Lily was happy to go home early; she had been chasing after the children a lot more than she usually did.  Violet and the Reverend got there just as Jamie was leaving to go pick up Claire.  

“Welcome, thank ye for coming.” Jamie said to Violet and the Reverend.  He showed them into the kitchen and dining room area.  “Please make yourself at home, but I need to leave to get Claire.”  He said and they nodded.

He made a mental note to ask Claire about shopping for a sitting bench, like the one that was in the front room at the manse.

Roger and Fergus already found each other and Fergus wanted to show off his bike so the Vicar and the boys went outside while Jamie left to pick up Claire.

Frank had fallen asleep on his watch under all the blankets he’d brought with him .  He woke up when the lights on the other car lit up and moved.  It was dark early in November.  Frank saw the car leave and knew there was only one man and the children left.  In his sleep deprived state he forgot to check for another car.

Frank sat there for a while trying to come up with a plan.  How could he get Claire back?  Frank rubbed his face and wondered again how she was married to another man?! Claire was a divorced woman!  He just wanted a chance to speak to her without the other men present.  If he could just talk to her maybe he could talk her into coming back to him.

The children.  They had to be it.  Claire is a mother now.  If Frank could get the children away from the house maybe Claire would go with him… It would prove he was more clever than the man left in charge.

Frank got out of the automobile.  He thought about driving closer to the house, but didn’t want to start the engine.  He stretched and slowly walked to the house.  He stopped every few feet and hid behind a bush just in case.  

Frank tiptoed around to the back door and heard children.  He peeked in a window and saw them almost by the door; this was going to be too easy!  He eased the window up higher and climbed on the wide sill.  Frank came through the open window and slipped in right behind the older girl.   Frank pulled the tape out of his pocket, ripped off a generous portion and quickly covered the mouth of the tall girl.  He put his hand over the mouth of the baby.  He picked her up and slipped out the door and ran to his car.

~

Claire POV

“Oh, thank goodness you are on time, my feet are killing me.” I said as I opened the hospital door and took two steps into Jamie’s arms.  I laughed as Jamie carried me to the auto. 

“Your chariot Madame.” Jamie said, imitating a French accent.

“Home driver, I want to see my children!”  I said.  We talked about my work all the way home and Jamie listened and asked all the right questions.  The November air was cold but it was warm under the car blanket snuggled next to Jamie.   

We made it home and jumped out of the car as we saw Frank in the dooryard holding a knife to Faith.  The Vicar was there and Violet, Fergus and Roger.

Jamie got out and took my hand.  “Frank, what are ye doin here?” Jamie yelled.  He saw the Reverend and Violet, where were his other two children?  Where was Murtagh?

Frank backed up a little bit to see Jamie and I.  “Claire, leave with me now and I will give you back the child!  Leave with me.” He said.

I looked at him in shock.  This man that I thought I loved for years was holding a knife to my child!  My mind quickly went to several scenes of our life together and not one of them suggested he might be in the position he was now.  My face heated quickly and my hands became fists.  I whispered to Jamie who was holding on to me.  “Jamie, let me go, I’m going to kill him before he kills Faith.”

“Frank, give me my daughter!  Claire dinna love ye, she loves me, let us be!” Jamie said to Frank.  Jamie looked to the Reverend and made a shrug motion for wee Murtagh and Brianna and the Reverend shrugged his shoulders.  I didn't know if he didn't know where they were or if he didn't know what Jamie was motioning about.  

“Frank, we talked about this all week, remember?  Let the baby go.” The Reverend said.

“Not until I get Claire!” Frank yelled and a small spot of blood appeared on Faith.  I saw it and inched forward.  No one was going to hurt my child.  “She is supposed to be ready to take me back” Frank said angrily as I inched forward.  

Just then, out of the corner of his eye, Jamie saw Murtagh.  He was crouched down, but trying to run through the tall grass behind Frank.  Jamie saw wee Murtagh and Brianna sitting in the grass behind Murtagh.

Jamie nodded at Fergus.  Fergus raised an eyebrow and raised a finger.  Jamie nodded and so did Fergus.  I had locked eyes and Frank who was spewing garbage about how he loved me and I missed the exchange between Jamie and Fergus.  I inched forward a little more.  Faith was crying, obviously upset, but mostly alright.

Jamie pushed me behind him whispering something in Gaelic.   In an instant Fergus had distracted Frank and caused him to raise the knife hand then Jamie rushed to Frank and got his daughter before shoving Frank to the ground.  Frank got up and held the knife like he was going to use it and Jamie punched him hard in the face.  Frank passed out.

I got a knife from the car and I was going to kill Frank.

“Claire!” Jamie said.  “Sassenach stop!”  I heard him but I kept moving, no one was going to hurt my child.  Ever.  Jamie grabbed the knife from me and put Faith in my arms as he went to help Murtagh and I went into nurse mode looking at Faith and checking her cuts.

Frank stirred and Jamie got to him fast.  ‘Ye’ll never call my children bastards ever again.” Jamie said and shook Frank.  He started to apologize but Jamie punched him and he passed out again.  

Faith was very cold and upset but okay.  Young Murtagh and Brianna were happily playing in the grass.  The children and I went inside the front door and sat on the floor.  The fire was built up and we warmed ourselves.  Murtagh, Jamie, Fergus, Violet and the Reverend waited outside for the police the Reverend had called when Murtagh found Frank with Faith and a knife.

I occasionally stood up to be sure Frank hadn’t gotten away.  Put a knife to my daughter's throat, lucky I didn’t gut you .

I didn’t get to gut him.  The authorities came and put Frank in handcuffs.  They looked at Frank’s face and looked at Jamie but didn’t say anything.  The officers took statements from everyone and examined Faith, Brianna and little Murtagh.  Faith gave the officer an earful about the ‘bad man’ and wasn’t shy at all.  They took photographs of the cuts around Faith's neck, and where we had to pull tape off.

They took Frank into custody and left.  Everyone was in the house and it was very quiet.  

“He took our child Jamie.  Why is he alive?” I asked quietly.

“Claire, you can’t mean-” The Reverend started but Jamie intervened.

“Sassenach, I did it like ye told me things are here, remember?  Ye told Murtagh and I many times to not be violent here, that we would end up in jail.”  Jamie said.  

I sighed and rubbed my face with my hands.  “I know, you're right, but I am so angry.” I said.

Murtagh had carried in a stick and handed it to me, then knelt before me.  “Take ye’re anger out on me lass, it was my fault.  I was supposed to be watching the bairns but my mind was occupied elsewhere.”  He paused here and looked at Violet.  “I’m sorry lass.  I’ll take my punishment.”  Murtagh finished.

I looked at him and looked at the stick in my hand.  I jumped back and dropped the stick in horror.  I heard Violet sigh with relief.  “Murtagh, don’t be ridiculous!  It is not your fault.”  I said but I caught Jamie’s look.  I knew that look.  A punishment had to be rendered in order to feel like the debt was paid.  Sometimes I absolutely knew men from the seventeen hundreds were completely strange.

“Murtagh, It could’ve happened to Jamie or me.” I paused here because that sunk in.  I grew less angry, but more afraid.  "I will think about it and get back to you.”  I said and took Murtagh's hand.

Violet and I walked out together and I explained the need for some sort of punishment so she would understand and she tried to talk me out of it.  I knew she was really starting to care for Murtagh.

I heard the end of the conversation between Jamie and the Vicar.  He was pleading with Jamie to help me see that justice would be done.  I wasn’t that angry anymore; my children were safe and Murtagh had pulled what anger I had left out of me.  I didn’t say anything though.

Jamie got the children's beds and our bed and moved them all together.  He had Murtagh and Fergus pull their beds in our room again too.  It was a night for us to stay together.  

In the morning it was just Jamie and I in the room.  I kissed my husband and said, “Good morning.”

“Mmm, good morning.” he said and pulled me tighter.  

“I think I am going to ask Murtagh to consider marrying Violet.” I said and felt Jamie jerk out of his stretch.

“What?” He asked me.

“I’m going to ask Murtagh to-” I said.

“Aye, I heard ye, why?” Jamie asked.

I got up on an elbow so I could look at Jamie.  “Because Murtagh needs a woman, and Violet is the only one who will understand when he disappears in a few years.” I said.  I knew she was older than he was, but I didn’t think that would really matter.

“So ye are going to ask Murtagh, to take a wife, then leave her in 4 years?” Jamie said.

“No, I’m going to ask him to think about it.  I think.” I said and my thoughts wandered off.  I still hadn’t thought of the ‘punishment’ and would need to ask Jamie about that.  Later.  Jamie's mind had wandered and he was thinking about marital roles.  Our marital roles in fact.

Much later Jamie and I came out of the bedroom together and saw Murtagh and Violet in the kitchen with the twins and Faith in the highchairs and Fergus and Roger looking over a toy plane on the table.

We exchanged pleasantries and then Murtagh and Violet went for a walk.  I looked at Jamie pointedly then we talked about buying more furniture.

When Murtagh and Violet came back I pulled him aside.  “Murtagh, there is no punishment because you did nothing wrong.” I looked at him and some seconds passed.

“Then I will just have to be in ye’r service lass.”  Murtagh said, then he hugged me.

~~~~~

A few days later we had a small birthday party for the twins.  Violet, Roger and the Vicar came with ice cream and I made a cake.  Jamie and I had new toys for them and we had a wonderful dinner.

I only worked one day this week because of the twin’s birthday but after that I was set to work three days a week.  The week passed quietly but the officers kept us up to date with news of Frank in case we didn’t read the papers, which we did whenever we went to town.  

That Saturday Violet picked Murtagh up and they were gone all day.  Jamie and I and the children were all in the front room on the two new couches.

Murtagh and Violet came in and didn’t say anything for a few seconds, then-

“Violet and I are to be marritt.” Murtagh said and put an arm around Violet.

“Congratulations!” I said and got up to hug them both.  Jamie shook Murtagh’s hand and kissed Violet’s cheek.  There was a lot of talking about plans and time frames, and she wanted to live at Lallybroch after they were married to which Jamie and I agreed to right away.

“I still have my house, we will need to go there sometimes.  Maybe on weekends.” Violet said with a sly look at Murtagh and I almost laughed.  Murtagh agreed without catching any of it.

Violet and I went to the kitchen to get a snack and as soon as we were out of earshot I asked,  “Well, how did he ask?  Was it romantic?”

“I asked.” She said and smiled at me.  I was very surprised.  She sighed and said, “I knew he wouldn’t because ye’re family is leaving.  Losing my husband taught me to seize whatever life I can.  Why shouldn’t we marry because he is leaving in four years?  That would be four years of happiness I might be giving up.”  She beamed at me and I hugged her.

They were to be married in January.

And I made sure to tell Jamie I hadn't said a word.

~~~
Somehow I managed to go to work the following week.  Murtagh was eager to prove himself and I had to take mercy on him.  After the first day it got easier.

December turned into Christmas and we got snowed in for almost two weeks.  I managed to send fruit through the rock for Jenny and Ian.  They were amazed at how pretty the fruit was, and wee Jamie was very fond of oranges.  It felt good to send them things I knew would be beneficial.  

Christmas was cozy, warm, and full of family.  Jamie, Murtagh and Fergus were amazed at the celebrations.  Fergus got more books and some toys. He was so grateful he cried when he hugged Jamie.

Jamie and Murtagh were still giving lessons when it was warm enough, which was rare because of the cold.  They’d cut wood for days and have roaring fires outside and shelters set up.  

January came and preparations for Murtagh and Violet to be married kept us very busy.  Jamie and I had talked and except for a little pocket money Murtagh hadn’t kept any money.  We agreed on a good sum and took it out of the bank.

“Murtagh,” Jamie said coming into the living room.  Murtagh was reading the newspaper and watching Faith play with dolls on the couch next to him.

“Aye” Murtagh said, putting the paper down and standing up.

“Here is your share of money from the lessons.” Jamie said and tried to hand him an envelope.

“No,” Murtagh said and shook his head, “No, what we earned is for food and the house.” he said.

“A portion went to the house account, this is ye’re portion, it belongs to you.” Jamie said and Murtagh took it.

 “Thank ye.” Murtagh said and nodded. “Claire” He called while Jamie looked on.

“Yes?” I said appearing in the living room.

“Can ye go wit’ me to buy a ring?” Murtagh asked me with red cheeks.  

I looked at Jamie who smiled and nodded. “Let me get my coat Murtagh, will you please start the car?” I said and left the room smiling too.

Murtagh picked his coat up by the door and the auto keys on the hook and I winked at Jamie before turning to stroll out the door.

Chapter 26: An announcement from Jamie

Notes:

Hello!

I hope you will like this chapter! I am excited to put it out!

Chapter Text

Lallybroch  January  1950

Murtagh and I went into town.  I knew Frank was getting sentenced soon, so when we bought the paper I immediately put it in my bag.  I didn’t want the news to spoil our ring hunt.

When we went into the tiny jewelry store Murtagh stopped.  I had to pull him to keep walking.  I got him to one of the cases and asked him if he had something in mind.

“Aye.” He said.

“Can you please let me know what it is?”  I said, mustering my patience.

“It’s special Claire.” He said and touched a pair of earrings.

“May I help you?” The clerk asked.

“Aye, I need a ring for me’ bride.” Murtagh said.

“We have a good selection of wedding sets-” The clerk started to explain.

“No, it has to be special.” Murtagh said and rummaged through his sporran.  He pulled out a very old piece of paper with a rough design on it and handed it to the clerk.

The clerk took it gingerly and turned it around.  “Sir, how old is this paper?  Looks to be…”  The clerk trailed off,  turned the paper around and set it down.

“Can ye make it?” Murtagh asked.

The clerk looked at him and nodded.  He got a piece of paper and sketched the design.  He asked Murtagh a few questions about the setting and Murtagh pulled out a rock.  It was old and had been smoothed by years in a person’s hand.

“Can ye get this out?” Murtagh said, showing him the stone.  There was what appeared to be a small diamond in the rock.  I looked at it and looked at Murtagh.

The jewelry clerk was almost as surprised as I was.  He had us wait and went to get the owner.

“I’ll explain it later lass, so hold yer questions.”  Murtagh whispered to me and I said nothing. 

The owner came out and introduced himself to us.

“Certainly Sir, I can get the stone out and add it to the ring.  Can you wait for me to calculate the price?” The gentleman asked.

“Aye.” Murtagh said.

Murtagh pulled me over to look at something.  “If the price is reasonable, pull on my finger, if no squeeze my hand.”  Murtagh whispered to me.

The price was given and I pulled one of his fingers because I thought it was very reasonable.  Murtagh also bought a necklace and earrings for Violet.  We completed our transaction and got the receipts.  We had to come back in a week to pick up the ring. 

We left the store and Murtagh was smiling.  “Thank ye lass! I would no be doing that by myself.”  He said and patted my back.  He gave me the car keys, “You drive, I will tell you how I came by the rock.”  Murtagh said, still smiling.

I drove home and Murtagh told me how he won the stone from Ahote.  They’d been gambling and Ahote bet the rock and when Murtagh won it Ahote told him the stone should be given in love or gambled away.

“Did he say anything else?  That sounds odd.” I said.

“He said it was given to him by a man who was rejected by his choice for a wife.  The man was a miner and found the stone in a foreign country.  The man told him it should be given in love because that is why he found it.” Murtagh said and looked out at the countryside.

I thought about how sad that was; a man found the stone working in a different country.  I had a whole story in my mind of how he brought it home to give it to his love, who he wanted to marry, and then he got rejected.  No wonder the rock had been smoothed.

We got home and Jamie had the children down for a nap.  He’d built up the fire in the front room and he had a pot hanging there cooking.

“I did no want to try the stove.” He said looking at me apologetically.

“But, we’ve been through that, you know how to use it.” I said.

“Aye, but I didna want to.” Jamie said and smiled at me.

Murtagh showed Jamie the necklace and earrings he bought for Violet and Jamie made appropriate sounds of approval.

“I’m going to put these away and then get Vi on the tel.” Murtagh said.

I smiled and nodded.  For some reason Murtagh refused to say telly for telephone.  It was always tel.  He also called Violet Vi.  In a way, it fit.

I took my coat off and hung it on the hook by the door along with my bag.  I took the paper out and gave it to Jamie, then we both curled up on the couch.  I couldn’t figure out if Jamie or the stew smelled better.

Frank was sentenced to five years in jail. Jamie read the story and when I heard it I didn’t outwardly react.  My brain was shouting ‘five years’ over and over again.

“Sassenach, are ye alright?” Jamie asked.

I took a deep breath because I felt like all my air had left me.  “Yes, I suppose.” I said and curled closer to Jamie.  “Five years for holding a knife to our daughter's throat doesn’t seem enough does it?” I asked and stared into the fire.

“This is ye’r time, wrong is punished in a different way here.”  Jamie paused.  “Look at it like this; by the time he is out we will be gone to get prepared for whatever we need to prepare for.  Frank is out of our lives, and he is still alive.”  Jamie said.

“Does he deserve to be out in five years?” I asked and stared at the fire for a while.  “Does he deserve to be alive.”  I said.  It sat on the air like bad food.  “Maybe I don’t belong to this time anymore, maybe your time is my time because we are one.” I said and closed my eyes. 

When I next woke up Faith, Brianna and little Murtagh were crawling on me, laughing and squealing and Jamie was standing next to the couch smiling at me.

Murtagh, Fergus, Jamie, the children and I ate Jamie’s stew in the living room on the floor out of wood bowls with wood spoons.  Jamie and Murtagh had carved the bowls and spoons for me for Christmas because I said I missed wood bowls.  I forgot about Frank and talked to my family and joked around with my family.  Fergus brought toys for the children to play with when they finished eating and we sat on the floor for the rest of the evening and told stories and laughed.  It was balm for my soul.

Jamie and I carried the children to bed and they went easily.  We’d finally made an official nursery room for the children.  The door was kept open but I’d bought a child safety gate so they couldn’t get out of the room and there was nothing in the room to hurt them.  The windows were nailed shut.

After the children were in bed Jamie and I tiptoed out of the room and went next door to our room.  Jamie closed the door, turned around and kissed me.  He backed me up to the bed and started to remove my clothing.  I helped him to shed his own quickly.  He was inside me before we were on the bed and we both sighed with relief.  We just breathed for a moment; it was recognition of the feeling of right.  I took a deep breath and rolled Jamie so I managed to end up on top.  I went nice and slow until he flipped me and we both ran to our release.  We made love two more times that night and in the morning Jamie got up with the children; invigorated and happy.  I slept three more hours.

I woke up and heard Lily telling Murtagh to get out of the kitchen.  I sat up, then flopped back down on Jamie’s pillow so I could smell it.  I needed to ask Jamie about more children.  We made love so often I was likely to get pregnant if we didn’t do something.  I wasn’t opposed to more children but I recalled how much Jenny had helped me in the first months after the twins and I didn’t see how I could do it alone.  

Thinking about it made me cross.  I was just supposed to do it all alone according to Jamie?  Raise the three we have, grow another one and add it to the bunch? I threw my shoe across the room.

Jamie walked in and stood at the door for a moment looking at me.

“What has got ye fired up so quickly, Sassenach?” he asked me.

Without saying good morning or anything I launched at him verbally.  “What if I get pregnant?  How can I have another child, and what if it is twins again?  You weren’t there during the day and Jenny helped me a lot, I mean a lot.  Now you want me to do this all by myself?” I said in a single breath.

Jamie waited a moment to be sure I was finished.  ‘Why don’t you finish getting dressed, I will get some food and we can take a drive.” He said very gently.

“Fine.” I said.  Why was I angry?  We hadn't even talked about it yet.

He left and I finished getting dressed.  When I came out Violet was there and I was mortified because I knew she’d heard me.  She was nice though and promised they would help Lily watch the children, which I was grateful for and told her so.  Faith wanted to stay with her Muta anyway.

We got in the car and drove for a bit to the little cabin Jamie, Murtagh and Fergus had been building.  There was a hearth and firewood and Jamie had a fire going in no time.  We hadn’t spoken to each other.

“I’m sorry I wasn’t there to help ye with the twins during the day.” Jamie said quietly.

“It’s okay, I’m sorry I was angry.  I was thinking that we have to decide if we want more children, and I got really nervous thinking about having an infant without Jenny. It just spiraled in my head and you didn't deserve that.” I said.  The anger was gone; I think I was just nervous.

We were sitting on the wood floor in front of the fireplace watching the flames.  Jamie sat behind me and gathered me in close to him with his long muscular limbs and I went willingly. 

“Sassenach.” Jamie said softly.

“Mmm” I said. I was very comfortable surrounded by Jamie.

“Do ye remember when ye last had ye’r courses?” He asked even softer.

“Sure, it was the first week of December, we were out buying a toy for…” My voice faded as I realized it was almost the last week of January.  I didn’t say anything for a while; I was thinking of December.  Jamie and I had made love almost every time we were alone.  It had been like, all the anxiety of changing time and then Frank, it had all left and we realized how much we needed each other.  I smiled thinking about December.

Jamie had a weird turn to his neck; he was trying to watch me so I turned around to face my husband.

“I’m pregnant?” I asked Jamie.  Not realizing how odd it was to ask one’s husband this question.

“Aye. Seems very likely.” He said with a nervous smile.

I started crying and Jamie held me.  “No, it’s okay, I’m happy!” I said, laughing a bit.

“Are ye sure?  I will be there this time, all day long.” Jamie said.

“I will need you!” I said.  I was laughing and crying at the same time.  I was nervous; I held on tightly to Jamie.   Knowing it was our December love that made a baby warmed my heart.

Chapter 27: Ginger tea

Notes:

Dear Readers,

Thank you so much! You are wonderful!

So is Diana Gabaldon, who actual wrote the fantastic story we all love!

Chapter Text

Sunday February 12th 1950

Violet and Murtagh were married by a Catholic priest.  It had been a sticking point in their plans but Violet agreed to it, mostly because the Reverend had married them privately afterwards.   After the weddings there was a gathering at the manse that I was sure all of Inverness had shown up to.  

Fergus and Roger were in the yard playing and getting their nice outfits dirty.  Jamie was downstairs eating and trying to keep an eye on the twins.  Violet and I were in the bedroom she was using to change and get nervous.

“What if I’m just too old Claire?” Violet said looking at her face in the mirror.

“If you were too old we wouldn’t be here.  Do you love him?” I asked.

“Aye, of course I love him, that’s not the question.”  Violet said.  “I've restricted my food since December and walked so I could maybe be firmer.”  She said and turned, looking at herself.

Before I could express my concern the door opened.

“Why, why did ye do that my lass?” Murtagh said in a softer voice than I’d ever heard.  He pointed to the door, “I was waiting for ye and I heard everything.”  He was carrying Faith but he put her on the bed and she laughed.

“I wanted to look better for ye.” Violet said.

“Ye looked better before, I dinna like a tiny lass.  I love ye as ye are Vi, don’t do that again, aye?” Murtagh said.  I heard a soft aye in response and I picked Faith up and slipped out the door.  I went downstairs and found my highlander.

“They are about to leave, did you get food packed up?” I asked.

“Aye.” He said and nodded to two large bags.  I almost laughed but didn’t.  I’m always ravenous after lovemaking so I kept quiet.  Faith went to play with two other little girls she saw.

They came down the stairs together, hand in hand, to loud cheering.  Murtagh looked at Jamie who looked at the bags of food and Murtagh nodded.   Murtagh carried everything to the car then came back in to wait for Violet who was talking to some people.  

After a few minutes Murtagh grew impatient and picked Violet up and made for the door to gales of laughter and good wishes.

Jamie and I waited for the crowds to disperse and we started cleaning like we promised Violet and Murtagh.  

Later that night we were home and having a late snack after our own lovemaking and waiting for the ‘communication hour’ as I have come to call it.

“I am happy ye are pregnant.  I am happy we are to have five children.” Jamie said and fed me a bite of cheese.

“So am I.”  I said and leaned in for a kiss.  “Where are we going to put those five children when we go back?  I know Fergus would be fine with wee Jamie, but Faith, the twins, and a new baby.  It’s a lot of people in Lallybroch.”  I said and gave Jamie a bite of bread.

“Aye, ye’re right and I’ve been thinking about it.” Jamie said and fed me a grape.

I swallowed the grape and asked, “Did you come up with any ideas?”

“Maybe.  I thought about building a cabin on the land like Murtagh wanted for his honeymoon, but I dinna like the idea of you alone if I have to hide during the day again.  What if we send Jenny and Ian money to build on to Lallybroch?” Jamie said and drew a little plan on a piece of paper.  

I was eager to talk to Jenny.  We’d decided to not tell anyone about the new baby until after the wedding so we didn’t take any attention that rightly belonged to Murtagh and Violet.  But we’d agreed to tell Jenny tonight and I was eager.

When it was time I got the rock and Jamie put his hand through to hold his sister’s hand.  This was something we’d talked about and while it was difficult for me I knew it would be a magical experience for Jamie.

“Brother!” Jenny said and took his hand.  She put his hand on her cheek and he felt the tear.

“Sister! How do ye fair?” Jamie said; a tear on his own cheek.

“We’re alright, how do ye’ fair? How are the bairns?” Jenny asked.

“They’re fine Jenny, as a matter of fact there is going to be another one.” I said.  I looked at Jamie and he was almost bursting with pride.

Congratulations were passed and we talked about Murtagh’s wedding and the seven minute mark came.  I looked at Jamie, then looked at the clock we kept near to remind us of the eight minutes I could hold this connection open.  

“Ian, Jenny, what do ye think about adding two rooms on Lallybroch? One room right on top of the other…” Jamie said and went on to explain where he thought it would work.  Jenny and Ian were very amenable to the idea.  They refused any more money though, they said they had plenty to build the addition and would start on it in the spring.

I’d held the rock for nine and a half minutes by the time we said our goodbyes and sweat was pouring down my face.  After Jamie’s hand was back on this side of the rock and goodbyes were said I released the connection and fell back on the floor.  

“Sassenach!” Jamie yelled and picked me up.  I only heard him as a whisper.  He took me into the shower, turned the cold water on and we sat down in the tub until I came back around.  

“We can’t go past nine minutes Jamie, I’m sorry but it is too hard to hold it.” I said, shaking with the cold. 

“Nay, I’m sorry Claire, it is my fault.  I was so surprised to hold my sister’s hand and touch her face.” He said and shook his head.  

There was a knock at the door.  It was Fergus and he looked at us oddly as he passed us in towels and we passed out wet clothes. 

“Didna say anything.” Jamie said.

“Who, moi?  Never Da.” Fergus said with a little smile.  Sometimes I wondered if he was older than I thought but then I remembered he was raised in a brothel until he met us.  He was definitely older than I thought.

Sunday February 12th 1950 - Some hours earlier 

Violet walked into the little cabin and remembered she loved Murtagh.  She’d agreed to stay two nights here because this and being married Catholic was the only thing he’d asked for.  

Violet put her small suitcase on the bed and turned to Murtagh.

“Cozy, isn’t it?” She said and nervously wrung her hands.

Murtagh took each of her hands in his and kissed her. “Aye, I ken it’s small.  I wanted some time with ye, just ye, and we shut the world out.”  Murtagh said then he kissed each of her hands and released them.  Violet’s breath caught in her throat.

Murtagh was staring into her eyes and he bent his head to hers and paused; asking permission, asking for access.  Violet leaned into him and had the kiss of her life.  Their kisses had been chaste compared to this kiss.   Murtagh leaned back, gasping for air.  Violet sat on the bed.

“I…” Murtagh said and trailed off staring into Violet’s eyes.

“Mmm mm” Violet made that Scottish noise of agreement.

“Aye.” Murtagh said.  He shook his head a bit and stepped back.  “I’ll make us a fire.”  He said.  Violet nodded but she hadn’t noticed it wasn’t already lit.

 Murtagh lit the fire and laid the little table with some food from the reception.  He looked at Violet who still had pink cheeks.

“Why don’t we eat?” Murtagh said and winked at his new bride.

Violet smiled and came to the table.  They both ate heartily, and spoke about the wedding.  After they ate, Murtagh insisted on cleaning up.  They had water; there was a large container full of water on the roof and he was turned on and off by opening the nozzle.  Murtagh washed the dishes.  He put the rest of the food away in the makeshift cooler. 

Violet was still sitting at the table.  Murtagh went to her, kneeled in front of her and kissed her soundly.  His hands went down her arms and she felt his callouses.  Murtagh’s hands rested on Violet’s knees.

“May I take ye to bed mo luaidh?”   Murtagh asked.

“Yes, please.” Violet said in a strong firm voice.

Murtagh picked up his wife and took her to bed.  

Sunrise Monday February 13th 1950

Jamie was at the agreed upon place at sunrise.  Murtagh had wanted to meet to be sure everything was fine.  An hour passed and Murtagh hadn’t shown.  Jamie had killed three rabbits but had not seen Murtagh.

Jamie walked to the cabin.  He just wanted to assure himself everything was fine, then he would go home.  When he was a quarter mile away he saw the cabin and Murtagh was leaving it.  Violet, wrapped in Murtagh’s plaid, leaned out the door and told him to hurry back.  Jamie turned abruptly around.

He waited until Murtagh was almost next to him then decided to scare him.

“Everything alright?” Jamie said and jumped back, ready for Murtagh’s swing.

“What are ye doing here? We were supposed to meet-” Murtagh started but Jamie cut him off.

“Aye, I ken where we’re supposed to meet, but ye wernna there, so I had to be sure ye and ye’re wife were fine.” Jamie said and smiled as Murtagh looked down.  

They walked a quarter mile further so they weren’t overheard by Violet.  Jamie had to ask something that Murtagh had once asked him.

“Is ye’re marriage bed making ye soft already?” Jamie said and grinned.

Murtagh gave him the look like he didn’t know what he was talking about.  A few minutes passed then Murtagh spoke.

“Jamie lad, after ye’re Mother didn’t choose me I never thought I would marry for the love of her and the oath I made to you, for you.  But here, I can marry and still fulfill me oath.”  He said, looking anguished.

“Aye, of course ye can man.” Jamie said and pounded Murtagh’s back.

“Then why do we hav’ta leave?” Murtagh said, deep and gravely.  He rubbed his face with his right hand.  “In a couple years we have to go back to live in a cave and only see ye’re bairns from a distance.  In a couple years I will have to leave Vi and go back to a life of scrounging and scraping to survive.  We could stay here.  We could live safely and have plenty of food.” 

Jamie didn’t say anything for a few minutes.  “I canna stay here man, this is not my time, just a place to stay for a while.” He said and looked in the distance.

“Aye, I am tired and drunk with love, dinna mind me lad.” Murtagh said.  “Is everything fine?  Is Claire alright?  The bairns and Fergus?”  Murtagh asked.

“Aye, verre fine.” Jamie said.

“Well, thank ye” Murtagh said as he picked up one of the rabbits.  Of course he picked up the one Jamie had already skinned.  “I will be getting back to my wife.  We will be at the house by noon tomorrow.” Murtagh said and went back to the little cabin.  

Jamie watched him go back until he went into the cabin.  He remembered what it was like to be a new groom and it was a wonderful time full of possibility.  Jamie hadn’t been looking at the expiration date of his marriage though.  Jamie hadn’t known he had a limited time to be with Claire.  

Jamie turned and walked back to the house, stopping along the way to skin the other two rabbits.   What if Murtagh decided to stay in this time?  What if he wanted to stay with his wife? For the first time he wondered what life would be like without Murtagh and he skipped a step and almost fell.

Claire POV

I was watching him from the house and I saw him skip the step.  My breath caught in my throat to see it.  Jamie was sure footed and walked the earth solidly and with confidence; what would cause this?.

As soon as Jamie got back to the house it was time to leave to get Fergus to school.  The lad had started going to school recently and Fergus loved school.  I held my questions, just finished packing Fergus’s lunch, put a hat on him and kissed his cheek.  He was waiting at the door for Jamie.  Fergus was eager to leave for school.

When Jamie got back I was sitting at the table talking to Lily.  I had Faith in her booster chair and the twins in the high chairs.  They were clean and ready to start their day.  We’d recently bought a playpen, which Jamie was theoretically against.  It was quite handy when you were alone with three young children.  Fergus had been a big help but he was in school now and he needed to have his own things anyway.

After Jamie got back it was time for him to take me to work.  Jamie used the restroom, grabbed a biscuit and got back in the car.

“Do you mind driving so much on the days I work?” I asked Jamie.

“Nay, it is what needs to be done.  That is what I do.  I willna say I like it though.”  He said with a smile.

“How was Murtagh and Violet?” I asked.

He paused before answering.  “Murtagh was late meeting me so I had to chafe him a bit.  I only saw Violet from a distance but she looked fine.”

“Do they need anything?” I asked.

He paused again.  “More time.” Jamie said and I looked at him oddly.  “Murtagh asked why we have to leave this time.  He said here he can marry and have a woman and still fulfill his oath to me.”  Jamie said.  He didn’t look at me, Jamie was watching the road intently. 

“Wow.” I said.  I couldn’t think of anything else to say.  This would cause me to miss a step too.

“Pull over. Now.” I said. Jesus H Roosevelt Christ! I had looked down too long.  As soon as the car stopped I jumped out and vomited.  Jamie rubbed my back and when it stopped he handed me a tissue and a cup of water to rinse my mouth.

“When does the sickness stop?” Jamie asked softly.

“Soon I hope, but I don’t think it will for another month.” I said.  I rinsed my mouth and stood up.  “I’m alright.  Let’s go.” I said and Jamie looked at me and smiled.  

We pulled into the hospital lot and Jamie walked me to the employee door.  He’d been doing that ever since the Frank incident and I didn’t think it would stop anytime soon.

Jamie dropped me off and went home to eat his breakfast.  Murtagh was on his mind and he thought about him staying here.  Jamie tried to imagine life without Murtagh but it was hard.

Jamie had mastered peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.  He and the children ate that for lunch and tried not to listen to Lily on the telephone.  She took an hour or so everyday and talked on the telephone while she ate her lunch.  First was always a boy she was sweet on when he got his lunch break from work.  Next were two different friends; both were married and weren’t supposed to stay on the phone in the evening.

After Jamie got them cleaned up from lunch he laid the twins down for a nap.  Faith had what they called ‘quiet time’.  She sat in bed with a book of pictures and her tin of crayons.  She almost always fell asleep, but this way she felt like she had more freedom.  

Jamie sat in the front room and read the newspaper until it was time to go get Fergus. He was folding it up when an idea struck him that he got very excited about.

Jamie got his things together and picked up some money from his and Claire’s hiding spot. He waved at Lily on his way out of the house because she was still on the phone.  He picked up Fergus who was eager to talk about school and everything he learned that day and the teachers and his friends.  They got to the grocery store and Jamie realized he hadn’t said a word since he said hello to the lad.

Jamie and Fergus went through the isles and got everything on his list and a few extra things.  He bought extra soap hoping he could send it through the rock to Jenny.  He also bought extra candy and toothpaste.  Fergus asked for a few extra things and he got that also.  When he paid for the groceries and took them to the automobile it just fit in the storage compartment, or the boot as Claire called it.

They left the store and got to the hospital.  Jamie got out of the car and got Claire’s raincoat because it was drizzling.  He stood by the employee door and waited for his wife.  Jamie was very eager to talk to her.  He waited some more.  

Finally he went to the car and sat for a minute thinking.

“Where is she?” Fergus asked.  “Where is Mere?”

“I dinna know.” Jamie said.  He rummaged in the middle compartment of the car and pulled out the name that Claire had written down for him.  “Stay here.” Jamie told Fergus.

Jamie entered the hospital and found the information desk Claire had pointed out to him months ago.  He impatiently waited his turn.
“My wife Claire Fraser is a nurse here, she didn’t leave when she was supposed to.  I was wondering if she left a message?”  Jamie said.  He could feel the flush creeping up his chest and tried to calm himself.  “I have the name of her boss if that helps.”

“It’s not necessary Mr. Fraser, she is in room 112.” The man said.

“Meaning what?” Jamie asked.

“Meaning you need to go to room 112.  Down the hall to your left. Next.” The man answered.

Jamie moved away from the desk and reminded himself Claire would not be happy with him if he lost his temper.  He went down the hall and found the room.  The door was closed and Jamie paused.  He opened the door and, seeing Claire, rushed to the bed.

“Sassenach!” Jamie said.  Claire was lying on the bed and she was white as the sheets.  There was a man at the end of the bed and another woman sitting in the bed holding her hand.

“Jamie!”  I sat up and held my arms out.  There was nothing more I wanted that to be held by my husband.

I buried my head in his chest.

“What is going on?” Jamie asked the room as large.

“Hello, I am Dr. Patterson.  You are her husband?”  the man said.

“Aye, I am her husband.” Jamie said.

“Maybe you can talk some sense into her.  She apparently has been sick all day, and this has been going on for a while.  I have a medication which has worked wonders but she refuses to take it.” Dr Patterson said.

“Lass?” Jamie said.  He stroked my cheek and I looked at him.

“No, no medication, it’s not safe for the baby.” I said.

“I give it to pregnant women all the time.”  Dr Patterson said.

I looked at Dr. Patterson.  “Then that is on you.  I will not take it.” I said firmly.

“Then you must go on leave.  I won’t have a fainting nurse who refuses to help herself.” Dr Patterson said.

I looked at Jamie’s eyes.  I knew what they said, ‘ whatever you need, I will support you.’

“Fine.  I am on leave then.  I will be back tomorrow to pick up my check and sign the papers.” I said firmly.

Dr Patterson shook his head and left the room.

“Oh lass, I will miss ye!” Nurse Drever said to me.  She handed a small piece of paper to Jamie.  “When she is feeling better,”  She turned to me, “Call her, she is… natural.  I ken she can help ye.”  She said.  Nurse Drever squeezed my hand and left the room.

“Take me home please.” I said to Jamie.  He picked up my bag and we walked out of the room and out of the hospital.

Fergus waited till I was close then got out of the car and ran to me.  “What is going on? Are you okay Ma?” He asked quickly.

“Yes Fergus” I said and kissed his forehead.  “I’m just sick from the baby.”

“I will make ye some ginger tea when we get home.” He said and opened the door for me to get in.  I smiled and my heart contracted.  He’s going to make me ginger tea.

We got home without me having to get out of the car and vomit.  I had nothing left in my stomach.  Fergus talked about what happened at school and I tried my best to listen.   I was so tired and nauseous I just wanted to go to bed.

We got home and I sat on the couch in the front room with a bucket Lily brought me.  Jamie and Fergus brought the groceries in and I fell asleep.  I fell asleep right there on the couch with the twins and Faith running around and Jamie and Fergus bringing groceries in the house.

Jamie let me sleep until I woke which was at nine at night.  The nausea had passed and I was ravenous; I ate 2 bowls of the rabbit stew, four pieces of toast with jam, and two pieces of leftover wedding cake.

“I am glad to see ye have an appetite.” Jamie said sitting at the table with me.

I looked up from the second piece of wedding cake.  “How was your day?  You know all about mine.” I asked.

“Aye Sassenach, I’ve had an idea.  What do ye think about hiring an artist to draw pictures of us?  We could put an ad in the paper looking for someone who could draw with pencil.” Jamie said.

“Do you want to send it with the soap?” I asked, smiling.

“Aye it’s for Jenny and Ian.  it will be something verre special to them.  The soap will be nice too.” He said.

“That’s a great idea, we’ll start on it tomorrow.” I said and smiled at him.  I finished eating the cake and took my plate to the sink.  I washed it and my fork then went to sit on Jamie’s lap.  I kissed his neck and rubbed his back.

“Will ye miss work too much? Should we find ye some other work?” Jamie asked, a little breathless.

“No, I think I will keep busy right here.” I said and started a slow hand walk under his quilt.  Jamie growled and stood up, picking me up with him.  He took us to bed.

Chapter 28: Family and Horses

Notes:

Happy November Readers,
I hope everyone is safe and healthy!

I hope you enjoy this chapter, and as always let's thank Diana Gabaldon who wrote Outlander and made these wonderful characters!

Chapter Text

Tuesday February 14th 1950

Lallybroch

I got up early the next day because I was nauseous.  I slipped out of bed, trying to not wake Jamie and surprisingly I managed.  I got sick then brushed my teeth.  I put my coat over my robe to get some fresh air.

I walked out in the dooryard and thought about the day.  St. Valentines day with Frank had no meaning; I didn’t recall ever being with him on St. Valentines day.  I knew the day has origins in the Roman Festival of Lupercalia and Pope Gelasius changed it from the pagen holiday to a day named for a saint, so it really didn’t matter.  I told myself it was foolish; Jamie showed me he loved me every day.  He didn’t need to do anything special.

My walk was pleasant, and when I made it back in the house I was in a wonderful mood.  I felt much better thinking about what Jamie did for me everyday.  When I got back Lily was there and Jamie already had the children cleaned up and dressed at the table.   Fergus greeted me warmly; he was eating and reading a book at the same time.   As soon as I saw him Jamie went into the bedroom.  My peaceful mood vanished in a moment.  Not even a good morning?  I followed him into the bedroom to give him a piece of my mind and a lesson on manners.  I closed the door and opened my mouth and stopped.  Jamie was standing with a small box held out to me.

“Happy St. Valentine's Day Sassenach.” Jamie said and handed me the box.  I had no words.  I opened the box and saw beautiful red heart earrings.  My breath caught.

“They're beautiful.” I said, still a little breathless.  

`”I’m glad you like them.” Jamie said.

I went to the small mirror on the dresser and put them on.  They sparkled and I loved them.  He not only remembered the day but he also bought me a gift.

“They look more beautiful on you.”  Jamie said and kissed me softly.  I kissed him back, strongly and passionately; trying to get rid of my guilt for my thoughts earlier.

“I didn’t think… you show me you love me everyday…” I babbled.

“The last time I was in town there were signs up and gifts available to purchase so I figured that was the way of it here.  Since I have the means now I wanted to get ye something.” Jamie said.  His voice got very low at the end.  “Did I do wrong Sassenach?  I’m sorry.” He said and put his hands on my face to wipe away the tears.

“No, No Jamie you did perfectly.  I just didn’t expect anything.” I managed through my tears.

“Were your St. Valentine's Day gifts more extravagant?” Jamie asked.

“This is the first St. Valentine's Day gift I’ve ever received.” I said and kissed him.  I tried to put my gratitude in the kiss; he made me feel very special and I needed to let him know I appreciated it.  I broke the kiss and had an idea.

“I’m taking Fergus to school.” I announced.  This was something I could do for him; he said he didn’t care for driving.

“Are ye nay sick?  I dinna mind Sassenach.” He said softly.

“I’m fine right now, and I’m driving him.  I had a nice walk and I think you should have one too.”  I said, looking for clean clothes and trying to dress quickly.

I took Fergus to school and Jamie took his walk.  I knew exactly what I wanted to get him: horses.

I dropped Fergus off and went to a farm I saw that had a ‘Horses for Sale’ sign and there was some Gaelic I didn’t understand.  I pulled into the large farm and saw they operated a bed and breakfast also.  I made my inquiries and then I made my plans.

That evening we got the children to bed and Fergus was still at the table finishing his homework.

“Do you want a steak?  I’m putting some on the fire outside.” I asked him.

Fergus looked up and smiled.  “No, I couldn't eat if I tried.” He said and patted his tiny stomach.  

“Do you need any help with your homework?” I asked.

“No, but I do have something I want to talk to you about Mere.” Fergus said. He went on to ask about creating a library in one of the empty rooms and him having a desk or a table to do his homework.

I told him that was an excellent idea and I would talk to Jamie about it when I went outside.  Jamie had the fire going and I gave him the steaks.  He loved the idea of having a library and planned to start work on it the next day.

We ate steak and asparagus outside.  We were cuddled together by the fire.

“This takes me back Sassenach.  Eating next to you by a fire.” Jamie said softly and looked in the distance.

“Me too.  Do you miss it?” I asked.

“Do I miss what?  Spending so much time to find food and hiding all day long? Sleeping on the cold ground, nay, I dinna miss it.” Jamie said.  He was still looking in the distance.  “I will tell ye what I do miss though; I miss our family, the smell of wild Scotland, I miss that there was so much more countryside and so fewer people, I miss the quiet, I miss having a slower day without a schedule, I miss riding a horse so fast my hair blew in the wind.” Jamie said and sighed.  He looked at me and said, “And I miss seeing ye in dresses, pants are so much harder to get you out of.” Then he kissed me.

We made love that night, sweet and slow.  I was bursting to tell him about Friday but I wanted him to have a surprise.  

The week passed slowly.  I drove Fergus back and forth to school all week.  That way I could go into town and go to the bank to withdraw money.  I got more than I thought we would need because I didn’t know if the barn would need repairs.

We didn’t see Murtagh and Violet until Wednesday.  I was getting nervous because I planned on them going with us.  When they came into the house they were hand in hand and laughing.  Marriage agreed with them both.  When I got her by alone I told Violet my whole plan and she loved it.  She was in with me.  I arranged Lily to spend Friday night and she did but she wanted her younger sister to be able to stay also.  I agreed; I’d already met her and knew it would be fine.


Friday February 17th 1950

Lallybroch

Friday evening finally came and Violet and I were in the front room with the overnight bags and more than ready to go.  Murtagh and Jamie were still getting dressed.  I think they were a little nervous because they didn’t know where we were going.

Murtagh came out first and looked at Violet, then did a little turn.  “Will I pass?”  He asked.

“Aye, ye look verre fine my husband.” Violet replied and went to kiss him.

Just then Jamie came around the corner with Faith in his arms.  As soon as Faith saw Murtagh and Violet kissing she got angry.

“No, he is my Muta.” Faith said and wormed her way down and went to put her arms around Murtagh’s leg.

“Agh, lass,” Murtagh said and picked up Faith.  “Violet is my wife and she makes me very happy,  ye ken.  Can ye not see ye’re way to sharing me?” Murtagh said and waited.  Faith still looked angry and I thought I might have to pull her off him, but she thought of something and her look instantly changed.

“May I call ye Gran?” Faith asked Violet.

“I dinna think-” Murtagh started but Fergus cleared his throat.  We were getting a room ready for a library but it wasn’t finished so he was still at the kitchen table reading.

“Excuse moi, but maybe think about it?  We are a family, even if we are not defined by blood.  We are a family and we function well as one.  Maybe calling people by traditional titles would help?” Fergus said.

No one said anything for a minute, then Jamie hugged Fergus and said,  “When did ye get so smart lad?”

“I am a Frenchman, I was born this way.” Fergus said, always so humble.

Violet was smiling when she looked at Faith in Murtagh’s arms.  “I would be very happy if ye called me Gran.”  Violet said to Faith, and she also looked at Fergus and nodded.

“Will ye please walk me to bed Gran?” Faith said.  When Violet nodded Faith ran to me and hugged me.  She ran to Jamie and hugged him too, she also whispered something in his ear.

Then Faith took Violet's hand and they walked to her room.  Violet came back in a few minutes and we left after finishing our goodbyes.

When we got in the car I asked Jamie what Faith said.

“I canna break the confidence of my daughter.” He said not looking at me.

“Keep your secrets, that's fine with me.” I said and laughed at him.

Murtagh and Jamie made wild guesses about where we were going.  When I pulled up and they both saw the large sign, “HORSE AUCTION” they grew quiet and looked at each other.

“Sassenach, what are we doing here?” Jamie asked me.

“I thought the two of ye might miss riding, and I didn’t want to forget anything I learned….” I said and trailing off.  They were both still looking at me.

“We are here to buy some horses.” I said plainly.

Jamie kissed me and jumped out of the car.  Murtagh was right behind him and the two of them headed to the barn.

Violet and I laughed and made a few remarks about true highlanders.   We got ourselves checked in and went to the rooms.  They were very nice and we were both pleased.

Violet and I started to dinner and in between trips to the barn Jamie and Murtagh ate also.  Violet and I were last at the table of course.

We checked out the auction and registered ourselves.  We both had a paddle with a number so we set out to the barn.  We found Jamie and Murtagh quickly; they were the ones not politely observing from afar like the rest of the buyers.   They were the ones with the hands all over the horses and speaking to the stable lads.  They were both dirty already.  We got them back from the horses.

“Well, how are the horses?” I asked.  Jamie answered quickly and thoroughly.  Apparently there were five, maybe six good looking horses and they wanted to buy a pony for Faith.  I thought about telling him she was too young but I remembered where she would be in a few years and I thought the younger she started the more comfortable and better at riding she was likely to be.

They had one more trip around to see all the horses and they had their plans set.  Violet and I talked about her experience with horses which was substantial.  She would be a fine riding partner for Murtagh.

The auction was fun.  Jamie and Murtagh bid on six horses and two ponies but we won three horses and one pony.  We also got four pigs and a dozen or so chickens in the ‘warm up’ auction.  Jamie and Murtagh were very excited and planned how they were going to separate the barn.

After it was over we lingered and talked about how the auction went.  Finally it was our turn to pay.  

“Fraser and Fraser?” The auctioneer asked, approaching us.

“Yes.” Jamie and Murtagh replied together.  The auctioneer smiled.  He gave us the total and I paid.  Violet insisted on paying for the horse Murtagh wanted for himself and I could see he was touched.

“I’m sorry, but I can’t get everything delivered for almost two weeks, will that be alright?” He asked.

“That will be fine, thank you sir.”  Jamie said, taking the bill of sale and the paperwork on the horses.

I found out Jamie and Murtagh had us hang back on purpose.  By getting the latest delivery, the animals would be fed and kept while Jamie and Murtagh had almost two weeks to get the barn ready.

We had a drink and talked over the action.  We were all happy on how it went but I expressed my surprise on the pigs and chickens.

Murtagh looked at me oddly.  “How long did ye think we would live at Lallybroch without making it a farm?” He asked.

“I don’t know, I hadn’t thought of it yet.” I said.

“Well, it is a farm and that's what it was built for.  It’s good for our children to get used to animals and to start riding again.” Jamie said and took my hand.

“You’re right, that’s why we’re here.” I said and smiled.  I had little to no idea of how to take care of chickens and even less on pigs.

“I’m ready to go whenever ye are lass.” Murtagh said and squeezed Violet’s hand.

Violet looked at me.  “Well, we aren’t going anywhere tonight.” I said and nodded at Violet.  We both produced our room keys at the same time.  Not surprisingly, they had no effect.

“We are staying the night.  The family made their manor house into a bed and breakfast.” I said and looked at Jamie, “We are in room number three.”  I saw him getting the picture and a wide grin was on his face.

“And we are in the cabin next to the house.  It has electricity and a bathroom though.” Violet said, with a smirk.

Jamie and Murtagh stood up at the same time.  Violet blushed and I smiled.  We said our goodnight and went to our respective rooms.

“Animals and a night away from the children.  Quite a gift Sassenach.” Jamie said as he locked the door to our room and turned around.

“I thought so.” I said as I sat on the bed and took off my shoes.  I’d worn a dress and heels all night and my feet were killing me.

Jamie walked towards me slowly and knelt in front of me by the bed.  He took my right foot and started massaging it.  “Ye looked mighty nice in your dress and stilts, verre bonne.” He said.  Jamie  kissed the inside of my calf.  He picked up left foot and massaged it for a few minutes then kissed the inside of my other calf.

“Lay back.” Jamie said and pushed me over gently.  Jamie folded my dress up and his hands went up my legs…

“Sassenach!” Jamie said in surprise.  “Ye didna wear the…” It took him just a second while he thought of the current word. “Knickers!  Ye’re honeypot isna covered.”  Jamie said while putting his hand over said honeypot.

“It is now.” I said and giggled.  I wanted my highlander very much.

“Mmm I will have to administer tongue lashings for that.” Jamie said right before his head went between my legs.

I received my tongue lashings willingly and lustily.  At one point I threw up my skirt and grabbed Jamie by the hair so he wouldn’t move while I climaxed and moaned deeply.

Afterwards, while I was still stretching my legs Jamie got up and drank some wine.  “Ye are mighty beautiful Claire.” He said softly and deeply.

I noticed the use of my actual name and looked at him.  He was staring at me, and was obviously ready for more.  I sat up and took my dress and bra off slowly.  I lay back on the bed and beckoned him.  He practically jumped on me.  We made love fiercely and I enjoyed it very much.

We made love two more times that night. It was so nice just sleeping naked and feeling his skin next to mine.  It was like when we were first married and we had three days to spend by ourselves.

Breakfast was delivered to our room and Jamie peeked out of the door before getting it because he only wore a shirt.  I was sitting naked on the bed giggling.  It was a hearty breakfast and we ate everything before making love one more time.  We bathed together and got dressed quickly because the check out time was fast approaching.

When we checked out Jamie made sure to get a list of the coming available nights for the bed and breakfast.  I blushed a bit.

We met Murtagh and Violet, the latter who was blushing madly.  I said good morning and kissed her cheek.  Murtagh never let go of her hand.

On our way to the car Jamie and Murtagh started to talk about the barn when a man ran out of the manor and looked around.  Spotting us he ran right to us.

“Excuse me, are you the Frasers who give demonstrations and lessons on sword fighting?” He asked.

“Aye.” Murtagh said and stepped in front of Violet.

“I mean no harm sir, my name is Malloch, Henry Malloch, I own this property.” He said and extended his hand.  Jamie and Murtagh shook his hand.

“Jamie and Murtagh Fraser.” Jamie said.

“I was wondering if you would consider giving demonstrations here?” Henry Malloch said.

Jamie and Murtagh looked at each other.  I didn’t think they wanted to do it.  They had two weekend days planned and booked for March already.

“Could ye come back Monday?  Say… six o’clock?  Bring ye’re wives and we will talk over dinner, on me of course?” Mr. Malloch asked.

“Aye.” Jamie said and shook Mr. Malloch’s hand.  The man looked at Murtagh and received a slight nod.

Mr. Malloch looked very happy and nodded back, then went back inside.  We got in our car and as soon as the last door was shut it began.

“I know ye dinna want-” Jamie started.

“Why did ye agree to more-” Murtagh started.

“I had a great time.  Did you have a great time?” I asked Violet.

“Oh, aye, it was verre nice.” Violet said and took Murtagh’s hand.

“That’s great, Why don’t you two settle this when we get home?” I said and cuddled against Jamie who was driving.  It was quiet the rest of the way home.  

Jamie and Murtagh took our bags inside then went back outside to get some issues worked out I guess.

“What room will you and Murtagh want to keep?” I asked Violet.

“The one he is already in I suppose.” Violet said.  I looked at her and smiled.

I took her to Murtagh’s room.  Murtagh had a twin size bed and Faith’s bed in his room.  His clothes were in a pile next to his bed,  The windows were bare.

“This won’t do at all will it?” Violet said.  “I still have my house that I want to keep and we will be there sometimes but this room is too small.”  She said, shaking her head.

We’d finished a few of the rooms and I took her to the largest which happened to be a few rooms away from us and kind of by itself.  I thought that was a good thing for newlyweds.

“This would be nice!” Violet said.  She went on to tell me where she would put certain furniture and we made plans.

Murtagh and Jamie came in and they were both smiling so an accord had been reached.  About fifteen minutes after that the children ran in followed by Lily and her sister. They’d been bike riding and we heard the step by step from Faith.  We paid them both and thanked her and her sister who was sweet, then they left.

Fergus told us everything that happened and we paid attention.  It was all fine but in our absence Fergus was the self appointed caretaker of the children and he made sure to let us know he was watching.  We were trying to figure out a way to let him be more of a kid here, because this was the only chance he would likely get, but we hadn’t got there yet. 

We told Fergus we had horses coming and he was excited.  I hadn’t realized he enjoyed riding, but after hearing him talk about it I realized it wasn’t exactly a matter of enjoyment.  He felt like a man who knew how to handle a horse held a certain status.  After all the news was exchanged he asked to go read a book which Jamie approved.  Jamie looked at me and we had a non-vocal conversation

Jamie - did ye ever think Fergus would be so scholarly?

Me - No, but maybe just because he didn’t have the opportunity

Jamie - I like it

Me - Me too

We got unpacked and I found Violet in the kitchen.  “I was thinking Murtagh and I could stay at my house until we get a bedroom together here.  Do you mind?” She asked me.

“No, of course not, you two are husband and wife.  I know I am the one who got a divorce but I truly respect marriage.  I thought you two would be staying the week at your house and the weekends here because you are still going to be working for the Reverend aren’t you?” I said.

“Yes, but Murtagh won’t have anything to do there during the weekdays.  He’d be driving out here anyway.”  She said.

“Well,” I whispered and took a step closer to her, “Maybe think about letting him drive out here.  You two will have your privacy there, and that is valuable.” I said.

She smiled.  “You might be right.” Violet said.

Murtagh walked in and I finished, “Whatever you two decide will be fine.  You know you are welcome here.”

“Of course ye are welcome here, ye’re my wife.” Murtagh said in his no nonsense way.

“And where did ye plan for me to sleep, in Faith’s bed?” Violet asked.  I left the room to let them figure it out but I was inwardly cheering for her.  Violet tended to be so quiet, and I was happy she was speaking up for herself.

I found Jamie, Fergus and the children in our makeshift library.  Fergus was laying on the couch reading a children's book out loud and all three of the young ones were laying on him.  Faith was the only one not asleep.  Jamie was making a plan for bookshelves and was planning to put an order in for wood.  I sat next to him and was looking at Fergus and the children.  It was a beautiful sight and once again I reminded myself I needed to purchase a camera.  Fergus was fine with three children laying on him; just that fact warmed my heart.

“Fergus” I said softly and he looked at me.

“Oui,” Fergus said.

“You were right yesterday.  Completely right.  We may not all be related by blood but we are a family and you are our son.” I said quietly, but firmly.

“Aye, I am proud to call ye my son.” Jamie added.

Fergus looked at us and nodded.  I could see tears welling up a bit in his eyes but he held the book back up to read.  I walked over to him, kissed his forehead and wiped his eyes.

Chapter 29: The period is important

Notes:

Hello!

I hope my readers are safe and well.

Diana Gabaldon owns all rights to Outlander

11/08 - corrected a few errors

Chapter Text

Monday February 20th 1950

The Health Van was parked where the assistant told me it would be, at the opposite edge of town as the hospital.  We had a nine am appointment and it was eight thirty.  Fergus was due at school at eight so it was easy to come here after.  Jamie stopped the car and I got out and vomited.  I’d brought my toothbrush and toothpaste and I proceed to brush my teeth.

Jamie was a little nervous about coming with me because in his time having babies was seen as a woman's job and only women kept knowledge of it.  He didn't want us to be ostracized.  But we made it and sat in the chairs and held hands waiting for our turn.

“Jamie and Claire Fraser?” A very short black haired woman said.

“Yes, that’s us.” I said.

“Hello,” The woman smiled and shook my hand, “My name is Tayen and I help out.  Please have a seat.”  Tayen said and led us to the makeshift waiting area.

I filled out basic information on the intake papers and as soon as I was finished Tayen told me I could go in.

“Hello, my name is Dr. Bolin, but please call me Alice.” Jamie and I shook hands with her.

“I understand you are pregnant?” She paused for a confirmation, “Congratulations!  Is this your first?”  Alice asked.

“No, my first child is Faith, then I had twins.  We also have an adopted son who is the oldest.”  I said and looked at Jamie.  Okay, maybe I was nervous too and babbling a bit.

“Okay how is this pregnancy going?” Alice asked.

I burped and put my head down and closed my eyes.  If I were to vomit now it would be so embarrassing.  Jamie took over.

“Dr. Alice, she is sick all the time.  Claire has lost weight,” Jamie pulled out the waistband of my skirt a bit and it had plenty of give.  I thought I just forgot to wear a belt.  “I am worried about Claire ye ken.  She is getting sick so much canna be good for her or the bairn.” Jamie finished and waved air at me.  

“Ok, so your morning sickness is in overdrive?” Alice asked.

“That is correct.” I said.

“Can I get a look at you?” She asked.  I looked at Jamie and he helped me to get on her makeshift cot.  She washed her hands, (I started to like her at this point) and felt all around my abdomen.  She got an odd looking stethoscope and got it a few inches away from me when Jamie put his hand on it.

“Excuse me, what is this please?” Jamie asked nicely.

“This will help me hear the baby’s heartbeat, like this,” Alice put it on Jamie and he nodded.

“It will nay hurt the babe Sassenach.” Jamie said.

I didn’t know what to say.  ‘Of course it won’t hurt the child’ sounded rather…bad.

“It’s good to have a protective Dad.” Alice said and shook her shoulders as if to shake it off.

 She put her odd stethoscope on my abdomen and felt around.  Alice got to a spot and stayed there for a while.  I started to get worried when she took them off and said, “Everything seems fine and I think there is only one baby, but I am not positive.” 

I was hoping for one but I guess it really wasn’t in my hands anymore. Two is just such a handful.   “I’m fine with one instead of two.”  I said and Alice smiled.  She washed her hands again and looked at Jamie.

“Would you like to listen?  The fast heartbeat is your child’s, the slower one is your wife's.” She said.  Jamie took the stethoscope from her willingly and put it on the way she showed him.

I was just laying on the table trying to decide between eating or vomiting but Jamie looked at me with watery eyes.  I watched him and saw the tears fall.  He leaned nearer to me and put one of the ear pieces in my ear and I heard it.  I heard the heartbeat of the baby inside me and everything suddenly felt worth it.  I vomit probably four to five times a day but it is because this being can live so it is fine.  Everything was worth it.  

“Claire…” Jamie said.  He held my hand and stared in my eyes.

“I know…” I said and squeezed his hand.

It took me another minute, but I did remember we were seeing a doctor.  I sat up.

“Dr. Alice?” I asked and looked around.


“Over here.” She said and waved.  She was directly behind us and I apologized.

“Not at all, please.  I wish every couple were as touched to hear their child’s heartbeat.”  Alice said.

“Alright, this is what I recommend we try;  Claire you are to get a full night’s rest every night, you should lay down once or twice a day for at least thirty minutes to an hour.  Keep crackers or something like that by your bed and eat something before you even raise your head off your pillow.  Dad, this may mean you caring for the other children in the morning.” Alice said and looked at Jamie.

“Of course, I do now anyway because Claire vomits.  I’d much rather do it so she can be well.”  Jamie said.  I think Dr. Alice was used to men who weren’t as involved as Jamie.

“You also need small snacks often, healthy fruits and vegetables.  An empty stomach is your enemy right now.  I’d also like you to try increasing your vitamin B6 intake.  These include seeds, nuts, bananas and other fruits, fish and lean meat.”  Dr. Alice said.  She looked at Jamie who was writing madly.

“I have a handout Mr. Fraser, you don’t need to write it down.”  She said.  He looked up and thanked her.  I didn't think he quite understood handout but I know he was glad he didn't have to write it all down.

“One more thing, I have no idea of your means, but if you are interested in hiring help I have a list of people I have taught first aid too who are looking for work.”  She said.

“Aye, can we get that list please?” Jamie said.  I was thinking we were fine because we already had Lily to help us, but we could discuss that later.

We paid for the visit, a remarkably small amount, and went to the car.

“That was so nice hearing the baby’s heartbeat.” I said and closed my eyes reliving it.

“Aye, it was.” Jamie said.

We didn’t say anything for a while but the turnoff to go to Lallybroch came and went.

“Jamie, that was the turn for home.” I said, thinking maybe he missed it.

“Aye, I ken.” He said, matter of fact in his tone.

“Where are we going?” I asked.

“To the food store to get the foods the doctor said for you to eat.” Jamie answered.  So we went grocery shopping in two different stores.  Jamie insisted on getting everything on the list so I could try it.  I was eating peanuts on the way home and ended up thanking Jamie for insisting we buy them.

We made it home at lunchtime and Murtagh helped to carry in the groceries.  Violet was working at the manse but she left us a soup with a lot of fresh vegetables in it and it looked delicious.  I looked outside to see what was taking Murtagh and Jamie so long.  Jamie was standing by the car mimicking the big stethoscope being put on an exaggerated belly.  Murtagh looked excited about the story.  They looked like they might be a while so I helped myself to some soup.

That night Jamie, Murtagh, Violet and myself were sitting at the dining room table.  We were trying to decide if we should hire more help.

“I have a suggestion,” Violet said, “This is something that is being done in the states and Inverness has two of them.”  She paused here and took a breath.  “Have ye thought about preschool?  It’s like a daycare but the children get taught like school.  The twins are likely too young, but Faith is the right age.  They have morning and afternoon sessions and it lasts for three or four hours.” Violet said.

No one said anything for a full minute.  Jamie looked at me and I looked at him.

“What kind of things do they learn?” Murtagh asked.  He was always the skeptical one.

“Colours, numbers, how to write their names, things like that.  Also Faith will learn how to play with other children her own age.”  Violet said.

“I like this idea, maybe we can go there and look at it?” Jamie said.

I was nodding, I knew Jamie was right, it was a good idea.  My child was going to be in the hands of someone else for hours a day!?   

Two days later Jamie, Murtagh, Faith and I were walking through one of the preschools.  Faith loved it.  She immediately started talking to other children and looking at the papers on the wall.

“Faith honey, we are going over here to talk.” I said so she wouldn’t be scared.

“Ok Mama” Faith said.  She didn't even look at me but went to pick up an abacus.  

When Jamie and I were away from the teachers he said, “Look at her, she loves it!  What do we know about the people who work here though?”

“Exactly, she loves it now but what happens when we are nay here to watch?” Murtagh said.

Unfortunately, I realized I had to be the voice of reason.  I had to be the one to offer trust where my Faith was concerned and it didn’t sit well.

“If this works out it will be good for Faith.  Maybe it will start her education early and I think, considering our future plans, starting it early is good for Faith.” I said and looked meaningfully  at Murtagh and Jamie.

“Aye.” Jamie said and Murtagh nodded then wandered a bit.

“Sassenach ye’re right,” Jamie said softly, “We teach our barins so they can be good without us.  This is a good step for Faith.”  he finished.  Murtagh had wandered back over.

“What do you think about her staying here without us Murtagh?” I asked.  He paused before saying anything and he looked around.

“It’s clean, the teachers watch the wanes, there are a lot of toys, Faith likes it, they will help her learn.  The paper by the door says it is approved by Scotland.”  Murtagh said.  “Aye I think she should try it, if ye dinna let her ye might be holdin her back.”  He finished.

“Just so you know the paper by the door isn’t approval, it’s a license.” I said.

“Murtagh has the deciding vote?” Jamie asked and looked at me astonished.

“Yes.” I said and turned around to find the office again to pick up the papers I would need to fill out.

“Is this with all my bairns?  Murtagh gets the final vote on what happens, not me, their Da?”  Jamie asked, still a little shocked.

I stopped and turned around to look him in the eye.  “No, it is just with Faith.” I said and turned back around.

I got Faith and she didn’t want to leave.  We stopped by the office and got the paperwork to fill out so we could register her for preschool.  Faith could join the afternoon session which would work out well at home.  She was getting too old to nap, but the twins still napped.  I could nap with the twins and she could go to school.

I stopped our little group on the way out.  There was a help wanted sign up at the door.  I took the sign and went back to the office.

“Excuse me, what position are you hiring?” I said and showed the sign.

“Sassenach, ye aren’t supposed to work.” Jamie whispered.

“We need a clean up person for the afternoon, that’s all.” The lady said.

“That’s wonderful, Murtagh is looking for a job!” I said.

“I am?” he said.

I turned around to face him and whispered, “Please, you could be here when Faith is here to make sure she is alright.  Please, just for a little while?” I said and took his hand.

He gave me the smallest of nods, squeezed my hand then let it go and stepped up to the small office.  “Aye, I am looking for work.” He said in a strong voice.

“It’s just a cleaning job.  You would be dusting and sweeping and mopping floors, that type of thing.  We pay you daily when you leave, and oh, I almost forgot! If you work here your granddaughter Faith would attend for free.” She said.  I was hoping Murtagh didn’t correct her about Faith being his granddaughter, that would need a story I wasn't ready to give.

“Aye, that sounds fine.  When can I start?” He asked.

Paperwork was filled out, a proper job application and the woman in the office called the police to make sure he didn't have a record. 

“How about starting next Monday?  Faith can start then too if you can bring the paperwork before.”  The office lady said.  I wished I had remembered her name.

“That will work out great, thank you.” I said and shook her hand.  I shuffled our crew out the door.  We got in the car and I expected Murtagh to complain but he didn’t say anything.

“You’re sure you are okay with the job?” I asked Murtagh.  Faith was sitting next to him holding his hand.

“Aye, I ken why ye want me to work there.  I ken why ye canna do it.  I will do it, dinna fash lass.” He said and stroked Faith’s hair.

Violet was pleased that Murtagh had an official job. She told me privately that she was glad Murtagh had something of his own and I agreed but honestly I didn’t see it that way.  He was still helping us; he was making sure that one of Jamie’s children was safe and happy.  Over the next week I found myself watching Murtagh a lot more than usual and I saw how he lit up with Violet.  I thought Violet was the first big thing he’d done for himself in his life.  I knew Ellen had been his first love, but I was glad he saw his way to open his heart again.

Next Monday Faith and Murtagh left right after lunch to go to school.  Faith was very happy to be going and Murtagh was smiling too.

I watched them drive away then I cried.

“Dinna fash Sassenach, Murtagh would never let harm come to our Faith.  He would die first.”  Jamie said and put his arms around me.

“I know, I don’t know why I’m crying.” I said hiccupping.

Lily cleared her throat at the door to the hall.  “I’m going to read to the twins then put them down for a nap.”

“Aye, thank ye Lily.” Jamie said.  “Come one Sassenach, let’s get some rest.” Jamie said and took my hand and led me to the bedroom.

He undressed me and we lay down.  He pulled me tight to him and put his arm around me.  I cried a little more but I did fall asleep.

I woke up to Faith yelling, “Momma!”

She burst into my room and just started talking.

“Momma, at school today teacher wrote my name and I traced it.  First I traced it in red, that's spelled r-e-d, then I traced it in yellow, that's spelled y-e-l-l-o-w. Faith is spelled f-a-i-t-h, that's my name.  My teachers name is Ms. Patricia and that’s spelled m-s-. And you aren’t supposed to forget the period, p-a-t-r-i-c-i-a.  She has brown hair and she is nice.  We get to pick a piece of fruit for a snack and we get milk and it comes in these little containers…”  and she kept going.  Jamie was waiting at the door watching me put my clothes back on and smiling wide at Faith.  

We came into the dining room to marvelous smells and Murtagh and Violet were sitting at the table.  The twins were sitting in the high chairs eating cereal.  I looked at Murtagh and smiled.  He looked at me and nodded.  Roger was playing with his wooden cars on the floor.

“I got scared after snack.” Faith said and looked at the floor.

“What?” I said and looked at Faith.  

“I was scared, just a little bit.  I told teacher I had to go potty but I went to find my Muta because he said he would nay leave me and he didna Momma, he was right there.” She said and waved at Murtagh who winked at her.

“Muta told me I just had the wiggles though, and after I shook them out I was fine.” She said and took her seat.

“The wiggles?” I asked. I was looking at Faith but Jamie was looking at Murtagh.

“Yep, he said my Daddy had the wiggles when he was little and he told me just how to get rid of them.” Faith said.  “I’m hungry, can we pray?” She looked at everyone like they were keeping her from eating, then folded her hands and bowed her head.

“Aye” Jamie said, closed his eyes and prayed for the room.  “Lord, we thank you for this day and this food.  Please bless the hands that prepared it.  Thank you for the many blessings we have, especially for those we dinna always realize. Amen.”  And then we ate.

The weeks passed and our family fell into a routine.  Jamie and Murtagh always got up first and went outside to check and care for the livestock.  Jamie used to get back in first to get the children up, but after three days following Dr. Alice’s advice I hardly ever vomited.  I told him to do what he wanted to do because I could get the children.  Fergus got himself up though, he was very independent.  We all sat down to breakfast, except Fergus who’d already eaten because he was always worried about being late for school even though he’d never been late.

Jamie got Fergus to school and came back to work either on the house or the barn.  The jobs requiring two people got done in the mornings while Murtagh was still here.  I’d made flashcards and some things I found in some books.  Faith was bent on learning as much as she could and I worked with the twins too because now I worried about their education also.  Brianna was using words well but not putting them together yet.  Murtagh knew about ten words.

After lunch Faith and Murtagh would leave and the twins and I would lie down for a nap.  Lily would likely start dinner and maybe the grocery list.  Jamie would finish working on whatever needed done before picking up Fergus from school.  Violet would bring Murtagh and Faith after school.  

Once a week Jamie, Murtagh and I would sit down and go over the money.  Usually on Monday mornings because Lily wasn't there yet.  They were unaccustomed to doing this but they did alight.  Murtagh continued to throw in his money for working at the preschool even when we told him time and time again to keep it.  We told him it was his wages and he was doing us a favor by watching Faith and staying there to begin with- and he cut us off.

“Just stop with the favor.” Murtagh said.  He got up and walked to the window.  “I was there more than ye were man when Claire was pregnant. Ye were off with that blasted Charles Stewart at whorehouses and since he nay liked me, I wasn’t standing guard over ye. I was singing the old songs to ye’re barn and ye're wife.”  He turned again and looked out the window.

Jamie looked at me and I nodded my head.  I opened my mouth to say something but I shut it.  Murtagh didn't speak a lot; I didn't think I should interrupt.

“Many a night I sent the servants away because Claire was crying.  I would tend the fire and she would lie on the chaise and I would tell her stories from when you were a boy.” Murtagh said and suddenly turned around to us, “So no more calling it a favor.”

“Aye” Jamie said.

“Of course” I said. I smiled thinking of those nights.  I would fall asleep to Murtagh’s voice.  I missed Jamie, but I wasn't alone.  Murtagh made sure I wasn't alone.

“You know I thank ye-” Jamie started.

“I didna want ye’re thanks.” Murtagh said, looking out the window again.

“So you can sing the old songs?” A new voice asked.  We all turned to see Violet in the door holding a suitcase and a baby.  Violet was obviously upset.

“Violet!” We all said and got up to help her.  Murtagh took the baby and Jamie took the suitcase and I led her to sit on the couch.

Violet told us of how she was at the manse when a lawyer showed up with a woman and the baby.  Violet’s niece Helen was driving when another car hit her and she and her husband were killed.    Since Violet’s sister was already passed, the baby went to Violet.

Jamie stood up and checked on Lily and the children outside.  

“If it makes ye uneasy to have the babe-” Violet started.

“No.” I said and stood up.  I don’t know why I felt so strongly about this, maybe because I was a mother myself.

“Violet, it does not make us uneasy at all.  The baby is welcome.” I said with strong emphasis on the word welcome.

“Aye.” Jamie said strongly.

Murtagh sat next to her, the baby still in his arms.  “Of course the bairn is welcome Vi, one problem though.” He said.

Violet paled a little.  “What?” She said.

“What is the bairn’s name?” Murtagh asked.

“Benjamin. Helen named him Benjamin.” Violet said and sniffed a little.  We have a new baby to add to our clan but there is a young woman and her husband who died.

Just then Lily came in with the children.  Jamie and I picked up the twins and Faith went right to the baby.

“A little bairn! Is it yours Gran?”  Faith asked and cooed over it.

“Aye lass, it is mine and Murtagh’s now.” Violet said and looked at Murtagh who smiled at her.

Plans were made and Murtagh and Violet were driving Faith to school.  Murtagh wasn’t going to work today, instead they were going to the lawyers office to sign the papers.  After that they would stop at Violet’s house and gather some items then do some shopping before picking Faith up and coming home.  

The twins went down for a nap but I stayed up today to care for little Benjamin.  I had already shortened his name to Ben.  He was a darling boy with light red curls and bright blue eyes.  Jamie and I finished dealing with our bills in the library.  Jamie and Murtagh were giving a lot of sword fighting lessons and they and he had decided to give the presentations at the bed and breakfast.  The first presentation was a huge hit and the next one was Friday.  I wondered when the funeral for Violet’s family would be held and if we should cancel the presentation now.

Jamie left to get Fergus and he explained about the baby on the way home so that when Fergus walked in he asked to see our family’s newest addition.

As it turned out Helen had been buried in England where she lived.  That was hard on Violet; she didn’t get to say her goodbye. 

Ben fit into the household just fine.  We did end up hiring extra help from the list Dr Alice gave us.  We hired a woman about my age named Flora.  She was unmarried but really wanted children.  Flora and Lily got on well together and on the few occasions when all four adults went out together we had both of them at the house.  I knew Fergus was independent and would fend for himself just fine, but there were four young children.

February somehow turned into April.  I know March was somewhere in between but the house was so busy it flew by.

I had a play yard set up for Brianna, young Murtagh and Ben outside.  This way I could put the children in the play yard while I gardened.  I was very excited about my garden.  This worked well for a few weeks until one day I noticed Brianna looking at all the toys and trying to put something together.  I turned back to pull some weeds around my budding basil plant and heard a bang!

I jumped up, this was getting more difficult to do with my increasing belly, and looked at the children.  Brianna was laughing!  She had found a way to pop open the lock that kept the play yard together.  I was proud that my daughter had figured it out but a little put out because I couldn’t just let them roam while I worked on my garden.

I had Flora and Lily come get them and keep an eye on them until lunch.  I wasn’t supposed to be picking the babies up anymore.  That night Jamie laughed until he cried when I told him.

“I guess ye canna put the bairns in a cage anymore.” He said, still laughing.

“It’s not a cage.” I said.

He kissed away my annoyance.  We made love that night, as we did most nights.  Jamie was always careful of our growing child.  After I have this baby, as soon as I am able, I am going to ask Jamie for some roughness.  Not that I didn’t appreciate the consideration but we usually made love with a passion that sometimes involved rough play.  I missed it.

That night I rolled on top of Jamie and had my way.  I wasn’t sweet or nice; I put my hand on his chest to hold him in place while I got my pleasure.

“Sassenach, I need to-” Jamie tried to say.

“No, not yet.” I said.

Jamie grabbed me by the neck and gave me the most passionate kiss, and I didn’t need to hold him in place anymore.  Our release came at the same time and it was beautiful and sweet, and this time I liked the sweetness.

Chapter 30: Fireflies

Notes:

Hello Dear Readers,

This chapter is a little long; I thought about splitting it but didn't.

Please excuse the lack of the le trema,the French accent marks over letters. I can get them on the words, but they don't seem to stay when I post the chapter.
I hope you enjoy this chapter!

Chapter Text

Monday, April 10th 1950

Lallybroch

I woke up before Jamie today.  My nausea was absent again this morning and I smiled wide and put my hand on my not quite flat abdomen in thanks.  Dr. Alice said, and I agreed, that I was likely entering my second trimester and nausea would not be my daily companion anymore.  

I was naked and fresh from a night of lovemaking with Jamie.  I smiled at my husband; he had hair covering his eyes and I really wanted to move it but I knew better.  As soon as I touched him he would move.  I grabbed some clothes and went to the bathroom to take a shower.

When I came out of the bathroom Fergus was up and sitting at the table with Faith.  They were both eating toast, likely because Fergus could make that.  

“Good Morning Mere.” Fergus and Faith said together.  I briefly wondered if Faith would have Jamie’s flair for languages.  

“Good morning my darlings! How did you sleep?” I asked, making my own toast.

“I dreamt I was stuck in the in-between again.” Faith said, happily chewing away.

I froze and looked at Fergus.  He was calm; she must’ve told him already.  As if to illustrate what I already thought Fergus said, “Tell Mere what else happened, Faith.” Fergus was looking at me all the time.

“You, Momma came in to the in-between, and you had white light all around you.  You saved me.”  Faith said and smiled at me.

I put my milk and toast on the table and tried to play it calm.  “That’s a nice dream Faith.” I said and reached for the marmalade.

“It’s not a dream Momma, I know it happened.  I just dream of being there again, but you always save me.” Faith said and then she hugged Fergus.  “What is brother in French?” she asked.

“Frere.” Fergus said and Faith repeated it. 

I finished my toast watching them and drank my milk.  Faith asked Fergus one thing after another about the French language.  The girl was like a sponge. 

I heard the twins up and I put my glass and plate in the sink and went to get them.  They were awake and throwing their pillows at each other and laughing hysterically.  I wished little Benny was here; he laughed at the antics of the twins all the time.  Murtagh and Violet had decided to spend the weekend at her house to give them some privacy.  Murtagh and Ben would be here in an hour or so when Violet went to work at the manse.

I had the twins changed, fed, cleaned up and dressed for the day by the time Jamie was up.  I had both the twins in their walkers and they were bumping each other like they were in bumper cars.  I hoped the walkers would strengthen their legs; the company that made the walkers claimed to strengthen the baby's legs.  They were desperately trying to walk.  We will see I guess.

Jamie was still in the shower when it was time to take Fergus to school, but Lily had just arrived.  Fergus and I left and had an interesting conversation on the way to school:

“Mere, are you a fairy or a witch?”

“No Fergus, I am not.  We’ve had this conversation before… I am just a woman who believes in science.” I said calmly.

“You are a woman who believes in science who brought us through stones and went back though to bring the babe she lost back to us but she is a three year old girl.”

I paused here.  What did I say?  “Yes.” What else could I say?

“Okay.”  Fergus said, and didn’t ask any more questions.  He laughed a little bit and I thought I heard ‘fairy’ under his breath but I didn’t say anything.  When I was in this time before and pregnant with the twins, many people called me the fairy woman.  Maybe I got used to it?

When we got to his school he hugged me and kissed my cheek, then whispered in my ear,  “You’re magic, even if you don’t want to be.” He went to school happily, having the conversation finished to his pleasure.

I drove out of the school wondering if he was right.  Surely not.  Everything had a reason, a logical way to explain it and a purpose.  I went to the grocery store and saw a notice pinned on the billboard by the medicines. 

“Help wanted.  Assistant to Dr. Alice.  Pay is low.”

I took the paper off the billboard.  I loved Dr. Alice; she washed everything often and was very kind and respectful.  Jamie and Murtagh were keeping the cash flow coming with their lessons, so maybe I could volunteer?

I took the groceries home and started to unload them but the house was empty.  I walked out back and saw Jamie trying to mend the chicken coop with Faith, Brianna and Alex with him.  I couldn’t help myself; I laughed.  I walked over and he saw me coming.

“Maybe ye could buy another one of the bairn cages?” He asked and kissed me after he picked Faith up so she didn’t take off.

“I already have one ordered.  One that Miss Brianna won’t be able to get out of.”  I looked at her when I said it.  Jamie took the children in for me and carried the groceries to the kitchen.

“I know Flora is off today but what happened to Lily?” I asked Jamie.

“Her sister is nay feeling well.” He said.  Jamie went back outside to get the coop mended and I slid the bolt on the door that was at about five feet high.  We were trying our best to keep our young magicians in check.  

At about eleven when we hadn’t seen or heard from Murtagh Jamie took Faith to school while I laid down with the twins.  I only slept about thirty minutes and was up eating when Jamie got back home.

“Why are ye nay sleeping Sassenach?” Jamie asked as he kissed me.

“I did for a little bit, I’m hungry.” I said and when he leaned in for another kiss I put a piece of ham in my mouth.  The blackguard kissed me anyway and took my ham.

“Hey!”  I said.  Jamie was laughing so hard he bent over.  He got another piece of ham and put it on my plate still laughing.  I didn’t see what was so funny.

Violet and a crying Ben arrived in the late afternoon, and Murtagh and Faith an hour later.  Apparently Ben was crying most of the night so they had to take turns sleeping.  They seemed a little tired still, but very happy.

We would have to talk about buying a second auto.  Getting rides couldn't really be counted on, and Fergus might want to drive soon.

We were all outside in the evening playing games and enjoying the warm spring air.  Violet and I were talking about what to plant and watching the children.  Faith and Brianna were both walking but little Murtagh preferred to crawl.  Brianna would walk a few steps then sit down and look around to scope out the new landscape.  We had old blankets on the grass and I was holding Ben.  He was content with me.  Jamie and Murtagh had gone to put the livestock up so when Faith wandered too close to the road I handed Ben to Violet and went to chase Faith back.

“Momma, the big fireflies are over there.” Faith said.

“Alright, then I will go with you.” I said and motioned to Violet.  She nodded her head so I took Faith’s hand and we left the dooryard and crossed the road.  We caught and released a few fireflies then crossed back into the dooryard just as an automobile was driving up the road.

Faith went to tell the twins about the fireflies she’d caught and I was going to go back, when the auto slowed down and pulled to just inside the dooryard.

A man got out and walked up to with astonishment in his eyes.  I was surprised also.  His hair was as red as Jamie’s and he stood six feet tall.

“Claire Fraser?” He asked.

“Why?” I replied warily.

“Claire Elizabeth Beauchamp Randall Fraser, Born October 20th 1918 in London?” The man said.  He had an excited look about him.

I turned a little and yelled as loud as I could, “Jamie!  Murtagh!” and then turned back to look at him.

“Who are you?” I asked.  The man was too close to me, just too close.  Somewhere behind me I heard Jamie and Murtagh’s voice.

“I am Murtagh James Fraser McKeag, your grandson.” He said.  At least I thought that was what I said.  I couldn’t hold myself upright anymore and my head felt so heavy.  I had a brief thought that I heard pounding footsteps but I heard nothing else.

Murtagh James Fraser McKeag caught his Grandmother.  As expected Jamie was at Claire’s side the second after she went down with a dirk in his hand.

“You will unhand ma wife before we have to cut your pretty face.” Jamie said.  The time traveling Murtagh felt the point of his namesake’s blade in his back.

“I’m letting go, I’m backing up.” The time traveling Murtagh said and tried to not have an expression on his face.  He was told they would be intense but this was real and not coming from advice from his family. 

Violet walked over and Murtagh took Ben who calmed down.

“Is that Ben?” Time traveling Murtagh said before realizing he should be quiet until Claire came too.  She would be more kind and they would be more wary, he knew that from all he had been told and read.  When Murtagh held up his dirk, the time traveler realized he could hold a blade and a baby.

I opened my eyes on the grass with Jamie and Violet looking at me.  I drank a sip of wine and sat up; yep, the man was still there.  

“He said he is our Grandson.” I said to no one in particular as I stared at him.  Violet asked if he had any way of proving who he was and he pulled out a driver's license dated 2023 from the state of Massachutes.  There was his name ‘Murtagh James Fraser McKeag’ in small print.  I handed it to Jamie as it seemed like we were passing it around.

“Let’s go inside.” I said and held my hand out for Jamie to help me up.  Murtagh carried Ben and wee Murtagh, Violet carried Brianna, Faith walked, Jamie carried me even though I insisted I could walk. Murtagh James Fraser McKeag carried our bag of snacks and the old blankets.  He kept looking around and everyone kept an eye on him.

He seemed interested in Faith and I saw he was staring.

After I was up the steps Jamie put me down.  We had our visitor sit while we put our little ones to sleep, then the six of us sat on the table.

“Who are your parents?” I asked.  We were sitting at the table but no one had said anything.

“Daniel Edward McKeag and Faith Elsbeth Beauchamp Fraser McKeag.  My Aunt is Briana Ellen Julia Beauchamp Fraser and,” He paused here, “Murtagh James Fergus Beauchamp Fraser and Fergus Jamie Murtagh Beauchamp Fraser are my uncles.” He said and took a sip of the whiskey they’d given him and he almost choked.

“Two things,”  Jamie said, “Wee Faith doesna have a middle name.” Jamie said.  He knew his bairns were getting baptized next Sunday but he and Claire hadn’t talked about Faith’s name.  

Claire got up and went to the little roll top desk she had that was by the door to the library.  Jamie and Murtagh were planning to move it tomorrow morning.  She brought a piece of paper back to Jamie that had her to-do list on it.  Claire pointed to the top and Jamie read,

“Ask Jamie about christening Faith,  Faith Elsbeth Beauchamp Fraser, so she will carry on my middle name in Scottish form”

“That is fine Sassenach, verre bonny.” Jamie said.

Our guest saw the paper and tried not to smile.  “And the second thing?” he said.

“Why would a grandson of mine not be able to drink whiskey?” Jamie said and stared at him.

In answer, he took a sheet of paper from his pocket and handed it to Jamie.  He pointed to a specific paragraph.  Claire leaned into Jamie to read it,

“Da especially, but maybe Murtagh too will wonder why you don’t drink.  Explain it as best you can and pray they believe you.  Try to get Mom in the conversation; she is a doctor and can back up what you say.

Most of all, be as honest as you can without telling them the future.  Da and Murtagh can spot a lie a mile away.  Show them the pictures, take some more, and remember everything.”

“I didn’t see who the letter was from.” I said, hoping he would show me again.

“You’re not supposed too.” Time traveling Murtagh said and he looked sorry.

I sighed with disappointment.

“Alright, why dinna ye drink?” Jamie asked.

“Because alcohol isn’t good for you, it hurts your stomach and can ruin your liver.” He said and Jamie laughed a bit and looked at me.  I nodded.

“Most importantly though, my wife is pregnant and we are giving up drinking together.  I took a sip not because I didn’t know what you would do if I didn’t.” He explained.

He pulled another piece of paper out of his pocket and unfolded it.  It was a copy of his family tree but only filled out to the present.

“I have this, here are your parents sir,” and the time traveler Murtagh pointed out his great Grandparents.

Jamie looked at him and looked at the paper and saw his hand shaking.  “Are ye afraid of me lad?” Jamie asked.

“Of course, yes sir, both of you.” He said and looked at Jamie and Murtagh.  Jamie smiled a little bit but both he and Murtagh were silent.

It proved too much.  The lad jumped up and stuffed the paper back in his pocket.  “I’m sorry I bothered ye good folks, my brother might be right, I might be an eejit for trying this, I nay meant to cause such a -, I will be on my way.” He said and stood up clumsily.

I stood up.  “Please sit down.  You came for a reason and I for one would like to hear what it is please.” I said and pulled his chair back.

He looked to Jamie and Murtagh and they both nodded.  He smiled and sat down.

“Thank you Mam.” He said.

“Claire, please call me Claire.  My oldest child is Fergus and he is twelve.  I cannot conceive of being a grandmother right now.”  I said.  “Can you please tell us why you are here, and where you came from?” I finished and patted his hand.

He took a breath and started to explain himself.

“Tomorrow Ahote is going to come to tell you that you have to go back to Grandda’s time, huh, Jamie’s, and try to be seen.  Ian has been taken to prison because the redcoats think they are hiding you and the redcoats don’t stop.  Ian will get taken to the tollbooth and he will get a wasting disease and he will slowly and painfully die from it. He-” Young Murtagh stopped here because Claire was crying and Jamie was looking at him with eyes that told him to stop.  Jamie was holding Claire, Murtagh got up and walked outside.

Claire got herself together, always a little angry at herself for letting hormones get the best of her.  She called for Murtagh and assured Jamie she was fine.  Violet was sitting silently sipping on whiskey and seemed in awe of the conversation entirely.

“Okay, go back to why you are here, and please remember we know these people ye are speakin of.” Jamie said.

“I’m sorry G-Claire and Sir.  Ian passes and it causes … terrible weight.  Ahote is coming tomorrow for Master Raymond, they want to help you change it because if it stands as it may,  It changes you, things, forever.” Young Murtagh said.  “If you can change things Ian, very likely, will die at the same time but he will not suffer for years.”  He said.  Young Murtagh offers, and Jamie nods his consent, then pours his whiskey in his glass.  He got up then and got water instead. 

Tears were pouring down my face thinking of Ian suffering for years.  “You came to warn us of Ahote coming?” I asked.

“Nay.” Young Murtagh takes a breath, “I came because while you and, and Jamie are gone, M-Murtagh and G-Mrs-” He said, stumbling over his words.

“Call me Violet dear.” Violet said and smiled at him.

“Thank you,” Young Murtagh said and smiled in relief, “Murtagh and Violet care for the children.  I ken ye have two house staff also.  It is no one’s fault but the twins catch influenza and, and, and little Murtagh dies from it.” He said and I saw a tear come down his cheek.

“Nay.” Murtagh stood up and pointed at what was apparently his namesake.  “Nay, ye are a liar. I would never allow any harm to come to one of these bairns.”  Murtagh grabs young Murtagh by the collar. Jamie gets up and gets them apart.

“I’m sorry, but it is true, and it was no one's fault.” Young Murtagh said and produced a large picture of the graveyard out back and handed it to me.  This picture was different though; Ian was in a different place and there was a gravestone with a picture of a baby on it.  I read the name on the baby gravestone, “Murtagh James Fergus- No, I won’t finish that name.” I said and handed the photograph to Murtagh as Jamie had been looking at it with me.  Another tear fell just thinking I might lose my baby and Jamie wiped it away and sat with his own thoughts.

Murtagh had finished looking at the picture and looked at the young man.  He really looked at him now, from his red hair to his odd shoes.  “Ye must have an idea to stop this?  Is this why ye came?”  Murtagh said.

Young Murtagh got up and said awkwardly, “I do, I have to get some things from my car.” He said and left the house and returned with three odd looking duffle bags and a very interesting backpack.  He went back and brought in more bags.  

He put two bags on the table and everyone sat back.  “Okay, this we will use to keep fluids and electrolytes in the bairns.”  He pulled out packets and packets of powder.  I picked up one and read it.

“This would be wonderful for sick children.” I said, somewhat impressed in spite of myself.  Young Murtagh pulled out item after item and I was more and more impressed.  

“This is our best weapon.” He said holding up a small box full of twenty or so smaller boxes.  He pulled one out and gave me one of the smaller boxes.

“For the Flu?  It’s curable?” I asked with immense relief.

“Not exactly, but it does shorten the life of the flu considerably.  Only the elderly die of the flu in my time.  Children's acetaminophen and Ibuprofen to bring down the fevers,  medicines to treat the symptoms,” he said and waved at the boxes that filled the counter, “And I need to take the Xofluza -an antiviral, Tamiflu and Relenza down to a children’s dose.  I have Baloxavir marboxil, but that might be overkill.”  Young Murtagh said and saw the faces looking at him, “Too much. It might be too much.”  He said and stepped back for the group to examine his treasure that will hopefully keep little Murtagh alive.

"Antiviral..." I said and looked at the box.

“These say only for people over 12 years?” I said, in the form of a question.

“Yes, there is nothing that I could get my hands on that is given to children.  I’m sorry, I thought I had-” Young Murtagh was saying but I cut him off.

“Are you a doctor?” I asked.

“Nay, but my Mother was.” He said.

We all caught the word was and stared at him.

“My Mother did something miraculous, she was a genius and found a cure for something that will help hundreds of thousands of people all around the world.” He said.  His voice got louder and I saw the pride. “ She got on a plane to come back to Scotland to share her news, and go back to you, but I didn't come right away because I had to get my family ready to travel.  I have a wife and four bairns of my own.” Young Murtagh said between tears that are flowing down his cheeks and Violet hands him a handkerchief.  “The plane goes down and there are no survivors.  Mom must be stopped from getting on that plane.”  His tears are still coming down his cheeks faster now and he gasps for air as thick sobs come from him.

Jamie pats his back and seems a little surprised at the display.  “Alright man, alright, how long ago did this happen?” Jamie asked.

“Five weeks.” Young Murtagh answered and we suddenly understood his fresh sobs.  Jamie and Murtagh both have him and young Murtagh is slowly getting control of himself.

“We can change this’” I suddenly said in a loud voice to get everyone’s attention.  

“Wh-what?” Young Murtagh said and looked at me.

“We can change this, you have given us the information we need and the tools to get through this.  We need some rest now.” I announced.  I wanted him to have something to look forward to and be able to count on; he was so distraught. 

“Aye,” Young Murtagh said and took a breath to help stop his tears, “Aye.” he said stronger.

We got everything put away and young Murtagh into a room of his own with all his bags.  Fergus hadn't said much, but I got him to bed and he seemed fine. As the four of us walked away I saw Murtagh look at Jamie and Jamie gave a look of undecidedness, but then shook his head no.  We said goodnight and went to our own room.

“How can you not believe the man?” I asked Jamie.

“I nay said I didna believe him!” Jamie said. Indignant to be misunderstood.

“Then what was all that with Murtagh in the hall?” I asked and did my best imitation.  Jamie laughed and then I laughed too.  

“That was a question of trust, should we guard the lad.” Jamie said.

“Oh, sorry.” I said.

“Ahemm mmm” Jamie made the Scottish noise in his throat.

“Where do you think he was raised?  Scotland?” I asked.

“Aye, and somewhere else.  His Scottish accent seemed to come out when he was nervous.”  Jamie said and undressed.

I had my own clothes off and put a nightgown on that reminded me of my shift.

“Sassenach, do ye think he is telling the truth?  I think he is but he was so upset about his mother.  There was something else there.” Jamie said.

“Maybe guilt?  He did say he wasn’t with her because he had to get his family ready to travel.  I think he is telling the truth.  We will see if Ahote turns up tomorrow.” I said.

Jamie and I got into bed and he held me.  We both lay there with our eyes open thinking about the turn of events this evening.

When my eyelids finally felt heavy I heard Murtagh singing in a low voice an old Scottish song to Ben.  I drifted off to sleep and dreamt about the first time I heard that song; in a pub with Jamie and all the men on our rent collection trip.

Chapter 31: Will there be travel?

Notes:

I hope you enjoy this chapter!

Chapter Text

Tuesday April 11, 1950

Lallybroch

 

Jamie was gone when I woke up.  I was determined to embrace our grandson, even if it worried me that our line would be time travelers.   I thought about it a lot overnight and I was excited to talk to him about the medicines he’d brought.  When I was going to the kitchen I saw the front door was open.  I went to the door and saw Jamie and Ahote sitting on the steps; each had a cup of coffee in their hands. I didn’t know what to think. Jamie was sitting on the front steps drinking coffee with a man that by his very presence confirmed at least part of our grandson's story.  They were drinking coffee like this was any other day but this day was going to change our lives one way or another.  I stood at the door trying to let it sink in that what young Murtagh said was true. 

Sunday had been Easter Sunday and we’d had such a nice day.  I felt like I could tackle the world on Sunday.  Right now I wanted to go crawl back into bed.

“Hello Claire.” Ahote said without turning around.

“Good morning.” I said.  I stood for another minute,  then went to shower.

 

After my shower I came into the kitchen and Fergus was awake and at the table.  He was reading a book, like usual.

“Fergus, put the book down please.” I said.

“Yes, Mother?” He said looking at me oddly.

"How are you, about your nephew?" I asked with a smirk.

"I think it is too early to tell Maman." Fergus said.

Jamie and Fergus left to go to school but when they went down the steps he saw Ahote.  Fergus stood for a minute and stared at him.

“Hello.” Fergus said warily.

“Hello.” Ahote said back to him and bowed his head.

“So you have come to take my parents back?.” Fergus said. 

“Only for a short time, and I have not come to take you back.” Ahote answered.  Fergus nodded and left with Jamie. 

Murtagh came out of his room and stood beside me looking out the door.  “Well, now we ken it wasna a clipe.”  He said.  Murtagh squeezed my hand and went to the bathroom to shower.

 

I took breakfast to Ahote and asked if he wanted to come in.  Ahote thanked me for the food and said he would come in when it was time to talk.  I nodded, glad he was alright to wait.  I didn’t want to start any conversations without Jamie.  

I got the twins and Faith up and fed.  Wee Murtagh and Briana were in their high chairs and I stared at them.  How could I lose one of them to influenza?  In my mind I saw my babies sick and I felt like screaming. I became aware of someone talking to me.

“Wh-What?” I said.

“I was talking about Ben, Claire.  Would ye take a look at him?  I dinna ken why he fusses so much.” Violet said.

I stood up and took Ben in my arms and she let Faith out of her booster seat.  Ben stopped fussing when I held him but I listened to his breathing, checked his throat and didn’t see anything.  I watched Ben for a few minutes and saw him twist his head and grimace.

“Violet, you’re right, I think it’s his ears.” I said trying to see as much as I could.

“Do you have a doctor for him yet?” I asked.

“Nay, I haven’t thought-” She said but I cut her off.

“Take him to Dr. Alice, she will see him.  I’m going today, you can go with me.” I said and Violet nodded.

 

Lily was off today but Flora was supposed to come.  Violet called off with the Reverend today and promised to explain herself later.  Murtagh got the replacement to work for him today.

Violet, Ben, Murtagh and I went to my appointment with Dr. Alice.

The doctor was slightly out of sorts with the change of patient, but since I was feeling very well I was perfectly fine with missing an appointment.  Ben needed it more than me.  He did have an ear infection and a slight fever.  We thanked Dr. Alice, paid for our appointment and left.  I still had the advertisement Dr. Alice had put up in the grocery store asking for help.  I still wanted to apply to work with her but with a possible trip upcoming I didn’t think now was the right time.  I shook my head because I didn’t want to think about going through those stones again; I didn’t want to think about leaving my children for weeks, months.  I briefly thought of years but I stopped.  

 

We got home and Jamie was just trying to put the twins down, but I took over so he could take Faith to school.  Ahote was still sitting outside.  I brought him a sandwich and a glass of lemonade and he thanked me.  After the twins were asleep I tried to sleep but there was no way I could even keep my eyes closed.  

The Reverend came over for dinner.  Violet had asked if it was alright for him to come over and we all agreed his opinion would be valuable.  When the Reverend arrived he sat outside and spoke with Ahote.

The children were fed first then Flora took the twins and Faith on a walk.  Jamie and I agreed that Fergus had a right to stay.

Ahote and the Reverend came in for dinner and things started right away.  When he came inside and we started to introduce him to young Murtagh when I realized I had no idea how to introduce them.  I didn’t have to though. On the way to the table they ran into each other.

“Excuse me-” Young Murtagh started but Ahote cut him off.

“You’re a traveler.” Ahote said and it wasn’t a question.

“Yes…” Young Murtagh said.

“Who are you? Where did you come from?” Ahote asked quickly and took a step back to stare at young Murtagh.

“I am, Murtagh, they,” He nodded to Jamie, Murtagh and I, “ are calling me young Murtagh.  I am Faith’s oldest son.” Young Murtagh said and Ahote seemed to get agitated.

“Why did you come?  What is going on?  Where did you come through?” Ahote asked  quickly.

“I came for my own reason, to help my family, I came through in England.” Young Murtagh said and his head raised.  There were both tall men but young Murtagh was just a bit taller.

“Enough,” I said, “Both of you wash, so you can sit down and we can eat.”  What was the harm in telling Ahote, I wondered.  I looked at Jamie and he shrugged.  He didn’t know either.

Thankfully the Reverend had all the right questions to ask during dinner so it didn’t feel awkward.  Conversation skills during awkward dinners must be taught to Reverends and Priests.

After the plates were cleared the Reverend got us started, “Ahote, can you tell us why you are here?” 

Ahote looked at young Murtagh and he obviously didn’t trust him, but he spoke openly anyway.  “I am here to let Jamie and Claire know that Ian is getting taken away from Lallybroch by the Redcoats.  It will continue and it will cause problems for Ian and Jenny.  Master Raymond said a good way for this to stop was for you two,” Ahote nodded to Jamie and I, “to go back in time and be seen somewhere prominent, like a large party.  It may even be possible to get the two of you captured and released.  That way you have the time to tell someone of rank that you would never go back to Lallybroch.”   Ahote said and looked at the two of us for a reaction.

“What type of problems does it cause for Ian and Jenny?” I asked

“Multiple problems actually.  I understand it sounds a little crazy to allow yourself to be captured but Master Raymond plans to stay with you and to help you.  If you are at a remote outpost, he could get you out before anything happened.”  Ahote said.

“What type of problems does it cause for Ian and Jenny?” I asked again.

Ahote raised his eyebrows.  “As I said, multiple.  Financial, physical and it hurts the family to be without Ian.”  

“What type of physical problems?” I said, pushing him further.  I felt Jamie and Fergus’s eyes on me but I was still staring at Ahote.  I wanted young Murtagh’s story confirmed.  I had a feeling he was telling the truth and I didn’t want any further doubt.

“Significant.”  Ahote said, staring at me.  

“Exactly what is significant?” I said.  He was giving us the information; I would drag it from him if I had too.

Ahote stared at me for another moment, but then sighed and he finally told us.  “Ian is sent to the tollbooth and comes back with consumption.  It takes twelve long years of suffering, but Ian dies from it.  Master Raymond wants to offer you the option to take those twelve years of suffering away from him.  He will likely die at the same time because that is how fate and destiny work.” Ahote explained all this while staring straight at me.

He finally looked around and said, “You need to know this will cost you a great sacrifice.  I don’t know what the sacrifice is, I wasn’t told.” Ahote said and stood up.  “It feels different to be here, I do not feel like you trust me.” He said and picked up the thin jacket he brought and put it on.  “I will sleep in the barn.”

I was staring at Jamie.  This was our choice.  We had to choose between letting Ian suffer for twelve years - TWELVE- or face the possibility of losing a son and not being here to be sure that everything was done to help him.  Our son.  I stood up.

“No, please, please stay.  Please forgive my rudeness.  We wanted to hear what you had to say before we said anything because our grandson, young Murtagh,” I nodded at the young man,  "Came through and told us yesterday that you were coming and I wanted you to confirm his story, which you have.” I said.  I was still standing up looking at Ahote.  He gave me the smallest of nods and I gave it back to him.

Ahote sat down and so did I.

“What do you know that I do not?” Ahote asked.

“The sacrifice,” Young Murtagh said the word ‘sacrifice’ very distastefully, “Is the bairn, little Murtagh.”  Young Murtagh said and looked like he wanted to hit something.

“Nay, it is not.” Murtagh said.  We all looked at him.  He and Violet were sitting back from the table a bit holding hands.  “The sacrifice is not being here to fight for his life.”

I nodded because I couldn’t speak.  Murtagh was right.  That was the world; most babies are born and grow to people but some do not.  Little Murtagh may be one of those that do not.  His life isn’t the sacrifice, it is not being here to care for him.

Jamie spoke next and he had been quiet for so long I jumped when he spoke.  “What if I go without Claire?  I canna bear for Ian to suffer for me and I canna bear to lose a son.  I know Claire would do everything possible to save our bairn.” Jamie said to Ahote.

 I started to speak but Ahote held up his hand and I was quiet.  “You need Claire to travel, I cannot take you through the stones, I don’t have the strength.” Ahote said.

 

I looked at him in surprise that he couldn’t take someone through the stones.  Ahote looked at  me and shook his head no.  I nodded.

“It’s getting late, Reverend would you like to stay?” I asked.

“Thank you, but no.  I have someone sitting with Roger that needs to get home tonight.”  The Reverend said and pulled his chair back to stand up.

“Roger? Wakefield, yes! Could I meet him?” Young Murtagh asked.

We all looked at each other around the table.  I wondered who was going to ask.

“Now we know that Roger is important to the Fraser family's future.  Please think before you say things.  Knowing some things before they happen is just not advisable.” Ahote said.

The Reverend stood up, “Young Murtagh, you are welcome to come home with me tonight and meet Roger.  I hope you would speak to him as the child he is if you accept my hospitality.” The Reverend said.

“Of course sir, my mistake.  I will just put my bag in my car and I can follow you.” Young Murtagh said.  

Violet packed up some leftovers for them and I gave young Murtagh a stern warning about his behavior.

“Yes, Gra-Claire, I will watch what I say.  I’m sorry.” Young Murtagh said.

I tried my best to hide my surprise at his apology.  “Alright, just watch yourself.” I said and was ready for that to be our goodbye when the boy put a light hand on my shoulder and kissed my cheek.

I heard him whisper, “See you tomorrow Granny.” He turned to go with the Reverend.

Murtagh and Violet went to bed while Jamie and I went to sit on the front porch.  Ahote wandered out also and sat on the steps.

“It’s an impossible situation.” I said to no one in particular.

“How does your Grandson plan to help?” Ahote asked.

“He brought medicines from his time that impressed Claire.” Jamie said.

Ahote looked back at me and asked, “Does he have medical knowledge?”

“He denied being in the medical field but he knew what each item was to be used for.” I said, feeling hopeful.

“Did he say what year he was from?” Ahote asked.

“He didn’t say but he has a drivers license dated 2023.” Jamie said.

“Ah,” Ahote said like that explained everything, “He lives in what can be called the information age.  Everyone has or can easily get basic medical knowledge.”

“What do you mean?” I asked.  I couldn’t imagine medical knowledge being something that was widespread.

“Imagine having a cold or a cough and being able to go to the local grocer or drug store and getting medication that actually help.  You can purchase bandages and salve for cuts, medicine to stop diarrhea or stomach upset and a whole list of things.  A person only sees their doctor for things that last for many days or acute problems.” Ahote said.

I sat and thought about being about to go into the grocery store for medicines.  Now I get a headache and have to lay down after I take BC headache powders.

“That is a nice thought.  The medicines are all good? Or is half of available products just whiskey with a different label?” I asked thinking of what was available today.

“There will be strict rules about alcohol content soon.  Medicine gets better.” Ahote said.

“I’m glad everyone will learn how to care for themselves at least a bit.”  I said and smiled, thinking about Jamie getting cut and putting filthy rags on it to stop the bleeding.

Jamie made the Scottish noise in his throat that might’ve meant anything but I took it as agreement. 

I made up the couch for Ahote and we went to bed.

As soon as Jamie closed our bedroom door he quietly said, “I dinna have an answer Sassenach”  He sighed and said, “I wish I could go without ye, I could make sure Ian doesna hav’to go through the suffering and ye can keep our bairn well.” Jamie said and sat on the bed.

“I don’t know what to do either.” I said and put my arms around him.  I kissed him and we fell asleep in each other’s arms.

 

The next day Jamie had an answer. Sort of. 

“Today Sassenach, spend the day with young Murtagh and talk to him about what he would do when the bairns get sick.  You will know if he can help them.” Jamie said.

I looked at my highland warrior husband from the eighteenth century.  “You are giving me the decision to make?” I asked in disbelief.

“Nay, we will make it together because if we are wrong the consequences are too heavy for one of us to carry.  I just want ye to talk to him and get his plan.  See if it is sound.” Jamie said.

“What are you going to do with your day?” I asked.

“Talk to Ahote and ask why we have to go now.” Jamie said.  I could’ve hit myself in the forehead, of course, couldn’t we go back when the children are well?

“Excellent question, the past will be there!” I said.

“Aye, I will find out what I can but right now I have to get Fergus to school.” Jamie said and he kissed me.  I didn’t realize we’d slept so late.

 

I got up and got my day started.  As I was eating breakfast with the twins and Faith, young Murtagh came into the kitchen.  He was polite and got his food then sat down and watched Faith.

“She is just a little girl now, she isn’t your mother yet.” I said to young Murtagh in a low voice.

“Aye, I ken, it’s just so amazing to see her this young.” Young Murtagh said, still looking at her.  Faith finally caught him staring.

“It’s not polite to stare Charlie.” Faith said.

“This man’s name is Murtagh, we told you Faith, we call him young Murtagh.” I said patiently.

“Nay, it canna be Murtagh, he is nay my Muta, or my baby broter.” Faith said.  Her brogue got worse when she was upset.

“My mother has named me Charlie.” Young Murtagh said and instead of being upset he was hard pressed not to laugh.

I got the conversation back around to the medications he brought and Charlie was very happy to talk about his supplies.

Flora and Lily came in and one started cooking and one took the children outside to play.  Charlie and I went to the library where he could spread everything out.

 

He went through all the medications that were to control symptoms.  He said he brought as much as he did because he didn’t know what symptoms the bairns would have.

“Alright, so these control symptoms of the flu and fever.  How did you get these?” I asked.

“These medications are available in any large store.” Charlie said in a low voice. 

We went through everything again and created scenarios.  Hours later when I left the library I felt confident he could handle it.

 

That night, when we went to bed I excitedly told Jamie that Charlie, as everyone had happily started calling him, would be very helpful if the children became ill. I had reviewed and read about the medicines. Jamie didn’t have good news. 

 

Chapter 32: Conversations

Notes:

Hello Dear Readers!

This chapter is very different. I won't repeat this style because I don't think enough information gets into dialogue, but this was fun.

Chapter Text

 

Wednesday April 12, 1950

And

Wednesday April 13, 1748

 

Lallybroch

 

Jenny - “Claire, Claire, are ye there Sister?”

Claire - “Yes, I’m here, we’re here”

 

Jamie - “Aye, hello”

 

Ian- “Aye, hello” (This was almost a laugh)

 

Claire - “How are the children?”

 

Jenny - “Everyone is braw, we are fine. How is everyone there?”

 

Jamie - “We are fine too, everyone is well.  Fergus studies so much he will be smarter than all of us”

 

Ian - “Good, we need a smart lad.”

 

Jamie - “We have some news.”

 

Jenny - “Twins again?”

 

Claire - (laughing) “I don’t think so, and I am okay with that.”

 

Jamie - “Ahote has visited us and told us we can go back to stop something.  It would just be Claire and I, we would be leaving Murtagh and Violet with our bairns and Fergus if we go.  We don’t know for sure yet, but it’s a possibility”

 

Ian - “If ye come back will ye be coming here?  I can help ye do it safely”

 

Claire - “Yes, I would be going to Lallybroch first, I could bring you more livestock and, thank you, but we have a plan.”

 

Jenny - “What? Why?”

 

Claire - “So you have more food, and more bargaining chips for the English bastards”

 

Jenny- “Claire, your own countrymen!” (Laughing)

 

Claire - “I said what I meant and I meant what I said.  Besides, I am a proud Scot.”

 

Ian - “Hear hear!”

 

Jenny - “If ye come, when will it be?”

 

Jamie - “We would be passing through the stones on Beltane, we would likely be at Lallybroch three or four days later.  Claire is traveling with Master Raymond.”

 

Jenny - “He gives me a bad turn.”

 

Jamie - “Aye, me too, but he is helping us.”

 

Ian - “When will you know for sure?”

 

Claire - “Soon, we have to decide soon.  We are running out of time here and I want to try something, Jenny, put the rock on the floor”

 

Jenny - “Aye”       “Claire, it’s an egg!”

 

Claire - “Is it whole?  Does it look right?”

 

Ian - “Aye lass, it looks just like an egg.”

 

Claire - “Ok, leave the rock on the floor.”

 

Jenny - “Aye, it is.”  

 “Sister, six more eggs and carrots, it is a funny thing to see food from a rock!”

 

Claire - “Ahote said it is fine to pass food through the rocks but please check them- “  

  “Who is eating the carrots right now?”

 

Ian - “Me lass, and they’re braw, very tasty.”

 

Jamie - “Alright Ian.”  (more laughing)

 

Pause

 

Claire - “Does it all look alright?”

 

Jenny - Aye Sister, it looks like a feast! Carrots, potatoes, onions, oranges and a roast! ”

 

Claire - “Good, can we meet again tomorrow night at nine?  I will have more food.”

 

Jenny - “Aye sister, that would be verre fine!”

 

Claire - “I love you both, until tomorrow”

 

And the connection was broken amidst a chorus of Aye’s.

****************************************

Thursday April 13, 1950

And

Thursday April 14, 1748

 

Lallybroch

 

Claire - “Jenny, Ian”  A minute passed and the rock dulled. Claire took a bite of a sandwich and tried again.

 

Claire - “Jenny, Ian”

 

Jenny - “Aye, we’re here, the bairns didna wanna settle.”

 

Jamie - “Good day?”

 

Ian - “Aye, I got repairs on the barn finished.”

 

Claire - “ I have something for you Jenny”  

 

Jenny - “Oh, fabric, so much of it, what is this for, it’s so light”

 

Claire - “I thought a summer dress for you maybe, and the girls”

 

Jenny - “Thank ye kindly sister”

 

Ian - “Make any choices?”

 

Jamie - “Aye, we are coming.” 

 

Jenny - “Ye dinna sound happy”

 

Claire - “It’s a hard choice because we have to leave the children, and there is a big chance they will get sick.”

 

Jenny - “Then why are ye coming?  Can ye stay there for a while and come later to stop what ye want to stop?”

 

Jamie - “Nay, we tried that.  Time travel is not an exact science, not knowing when the redcoats decided, nay, it has to be Beltane.”

 

Ian - “Claire, Jamie, are ye sure it’s worth it?  Ye’re bairns maybe getting sick…”

 

Claire - “Yes, we are sure it is worth it... it's the right thing to do.  And since we know there may be sickness we can prepare and take precautions”

 

Jenny - “Alright, if ye’ve made the choice, ye have ye’re reasons.”

 

Jamie - “Aye, we will explain more when we get there.”

 

Jenny - “I will hold ye to that explanation brother.”

 

Claire - “Can I pass some food through?”

 

Jenny - “Aye, we are alright though, the money you keep giving me has kept us fed.  If ye have extra though, we will take it Sister.”

 

Claire - “Okay, here it comes”

 

Jenny - “Green beans and venison?”

 

Claire - “Yes, and asparagus, and muffins and bread”

 

Ian - “The bread smells good”

 

Jamie - “We have a cook who makes it”

 

Claire - “I have a few buttons then I have to close it”

 

Jenny - (Laughing) “ Thank ye Sister”

 

Claire - “You’re welcome, can we meet again” but the rest was cut off because the connection ended.

***************************

Friday April 14, 1950

And

Friday April 15, 1748

 

Lallybroch

 

Claire - “Jenny, Ian”

 

Jamie - “Maybe they didna figure out-”

 

Ian - “Yes, we figured out ye’d want to meet again tonight”

 

Claire - “Hello”

 

Jenny - “Hello Sister”

 

Jamie - “Good, I’m glad ye are here and we can talk”

 

Ian - “Of course”

 

Jamie - “Have the redcoats been around lately?  Is anything different?”

 

Ian - “They are in the area, their captain ate with us two days ago.  It is much the same, they come and take what isn’t theirs, then leave and come back at their pleasure.”

 

Jenny - “They look for tartans and weapons now too.”

 

Jamie - “Can ye wear a kilt at all”

 

Ian - “ Aye, as long as it is plain.”

 

Claire - “I’m sorry you are living through that.”

 

Jenny - “It is a sorry time, but we are not wanted so it is nay so bad.”

 

Ian - “Claire, do ye have any more of those muffins?”

 

Claire - “No, but I will Sunday.  I have ham today and cheese”

 

Ian - “That smells mighty fine Claire”

 

Claire - “ Good, until Sunday.”

 

Jenny - “Until Sunday Sister”

***********************************

 

Sunday April 16, 1950

And

Sunday April 17, 1748

 

Jenny - “Claire, Jamie”

 

Claire - “Yes, we’re here”

 

Jamie - “Did ye have a good Sunday?”

 

Ian - “Aye, we made a picnic outside and watched the bairns play.  Young Jamie can climb”

 

Jenny - “Aye, he can climb, just like his Uncle and Father used to.”

Claire - “I’m glad you had a nice day.  Do you need any more money?  I found some more yesterday”  Clink, Clink Clink

 

Jenny - “Sister, thank ye for the coins.”

  “And the muffins”

 

Ian- “Definitely the muffins”

         “They smell good.”

 

Jamie - “Is there anything else we can get for you?”

 

Pause

 

Jenny - “Blankets, the soldiers have taken almost all our blankets.”

 

Ian - “Aye, blankets would be helpful. We dinna need them until it’s cold, but we can hide them.”

 

Claire takes the blanket off their bed and pushes it through the rock.

 

Jenny - “Thank ye. They dinna need to be so fancy.”

 

Claire - “We will bring more when we come.”

 

Jamie - “Are ye well Ian?”

 

Ian - “Aye, of course, why are ye asking me that?”

 

Jamie - “Ah, your throat, sounded funny for a minute.”

 

Jenny - “How is Murtagh and Violet?  I canna imagine that old coot marrit.”

 

Claire - “They are very sweet!  I never thought to see it either, but they both seem very happy.  Did I tell you about Ben?”

 

Ian - “Aye, the bairn Violet and Murtagh adopted?”

 

Claire - “Yes, that’s him.  He adores Murtagh, and seeing him with a baby in his arms is surprising but it’s right.”

 

Jenny - “ I’m glad, he deserves to be happy, he has protected my brother long enough.  Is Fergus still reading everything?"

 

Jamie - “Aye, we had another book shipment a few days ago and he walks around reading.  I almost forgot what his face looks like I havna seen it in so long.”

 

Claire - “We have to make him stop reading to go outside and play for a bit.”

 

Ian - “That’s good, I’ve wondered how he would be.  If he becomes a learned man maybe he will have an easier way of it, aye?”

 

Jamie - “Aye”

 

Claire - “ I have some more fruit… and we will talk again Wednesday?”

 

Jenny - “Aye Sister”

 

*************************************

Tuesday April 18, 1950 and

Tuesday April 19, 1748

 

Jenny - “Claire, Claire”

 

Ian - “She canna hear it, we have to send for someone”

 

Jenny - “No, Claire is the best, she will hear me, CLAIRE!”

 

Claire - “Jenny… Is that you?”

 

Jenny - “Aye, Sister, ye have to help me! It’s wee Jamie.  He fell out of his chair and hit his head.  He’s burning up with fever because his arm is inflamed where he scratched it on a tree last week.”

 

Claire - “Take a breathe, give me minute”

 

Claire - “Did ye give him any penicillin?”

 

Jenny - “Aye, twice today, 6 hours apart like ye said.”

 

Claire - “That's good.”

 

Jenny - “Whit else can I do?”

 

Claire - “Crush this and put it in preserves… Get a cold rag on his head to bring him around, then get him to eat the preserves.”

 

Ian - “We dinna have any”

 

Claire - “I’m breaking the connection but I will be right back.”

 

Jamie - “Claire, what do you need that for?”

 

Claire - “No time, sorry”

Claire - “Jenny, Ian, take this”

 

Jamie - “Are ye crazy lass?  It’s the middle of the day and people are in the house.”

 

Claire - “Them turn on the radio, wee Jamie is hurt”

 

Jenny - “I dinna wanna ye not to be safe-”

 

Ian - “He’s waking up!”

 

Jenny - “It’s...hard... to...got it, hear lad, eat this.”

 

Ian - “Thank ye God, ye’re not as warm as ye were before.”

 

Claire - “one hour” sigh.

 

One Hour Later

 

Claire - “How is he?”

 

Jenny - “He’s good, thank ye Sister, can ye reach for this back?”

 

Claire - “Sure-  got it”

 

Ian - “That’s a mighty fierce thing, but my son is sleeping on the couch with no fever, thank ye”

 

Claire - “It was-”

 

Jenny - “Didna say it was nothing Sister, ye saved my wee Jamie, thank ye.”

 

Claire - “You are welcome of course, but it is what you do for family - anything you can.”

Jenny - “Ye are nay in trouble?”

 

Claire - “No, it’s fine, some people think I am rehearsing for a play that’s all.  Here, you want to crush one pill up and have wee Jamie take it in the preserves every six hours until tomorrow night.”

 

Ian - “I don’t think we will need four jars?”

 

Claire - “No, but it’s mighty good on toast.”

 

Laughter

 

Claire - “Until ten tomorrow?”

 

Ian - “Aye”

 

**********************

Wednesday April 19, 1950 and

Wednesday April 20, 1748

 

Lallybroch



Claire - “Jenny, Ian, how is Jamie?

 

Jenny - “Ach, he is fine.  He chafed about being kept in the house all day.”

 

Claire - “Here are two more pills, but only use them if his fever returns.  I don’t think it will, but in case it does.”

 

Jamie - “I’m glad my nephew is recovering.”

 

Ian - “Aye, it was a scary thing Jamie, his arm was inflamed and he fell out of the chair and hit his head.”

 

Jamie - “Claire told me, we had roofers here patching a hole on the south side.”

 

Jenny -  How is the planning going for your trip back?  How many nights do ye think ye can stay with us?”

 

Claire - “The planning is going well.  We hired a seamstress to get ‘period clothes’ it’s called,  made for Jamie and I.  I was thinking if you both send me some measurements I could get clothes made for you too.

 

Ian - “That is nice, but we dinna need any-”

 

Jenny - “Speak for yourself, I will send the measurements. What about shoes?  Wee Jamie is growing like a weed.”

 

Claire - “I will see what I can do!”

 

Jenny - “I will send ye a tracing of his foot.”

 

Ian - “How about nails and a hammer?”

 

Jamie - Aye, I will see what I can do!”

 

Jenny - “What about your other plans?  For the bairns?”

 

Claire - “We have a good plan.  Murtagh is quitting work and Faith is leaving school until we get back.  Violet has her daughter to replace her at the manse until we get back, where she works for the Reverend.  Our Grandson is here with medications-”

 

Jenny - “Wait - your Grandon?!”

 

Jamie - “Aye, we thought we would explain that when we got there, but… Aye, it appears he is our Grandson.  He brought proof.  Apparently our whole line will be time travelers thanks to Claire.”

 

Claire - “It’s not my fault, I didn’t do it on purpose.”

 

Jamie - “Aye Sassenach, I was just stating a fact.”

 

Ian - “Wow, what a thing to pass on.”

 

Jenny - “Ye’re right, we will need to talk when you get here.  Only having eight minutes at a time is frustrating.”

Chapter 33: New lads.

Notes:

Hello wonderful readers!

Just FYI, for anyone unaware, 'chumma' is slang for a kiss.

Enjoy!

Chapter Text

“Claire, can ye come to the library please?” Jamie called as he popped his head around the door.  I looked up but he had disappeared.

I got the flashcards together and put them in the little box.  I knew neither Flora or Lily approved of trying to get Faith to read early.  Feminism had not traveled to Scotland even in this time.

“Flora, would you please take the children outside for some air?” I asked.

“Of course.” Flora said.

I helped to get the children together to go outside and Jamie popped his impatient head around the corner one more time.

“Yes.” I said entering the library.  I felt summoned but stopped short seeing Jamie, Violet, Murtagh, and Charlie all sitting.  Jamie waved me to sit and I did.

“Now that we are all here, I was in town last week getting groceries and I saw children walking all in a line.  Older children, and when I inquired-” Jamie said but was cut off.

“They are from the orphanage.  Orphaned from the war.” Violet said.

“Aye, that’s what I was told.  Now today is Friday the twenty-first which means we have only ten more days before Claire and I leave for some weeks and we still don’t have a plan for more help outside the house.”  He said and sat down.

“I ken it, we have made inquiries but everyone has their own place to seed.” Murtagh said and looked at Jamie.

“What if we adopt two or three older boys?  They could care for the livestock and we could help them get a good start.” Jamie said hopefully and looked around the table.

I had a flashback to asking Frank about adopting orphaned children from the war and him telling me he couldn’t love a child that wasn’t his.  It was before I went through the stones.  I was going to ask Jamie if he could love a child that wasn’t his but thankfully I stopped myself.

“Adopting children is a lot to take on.” I said to the room in general.

“In the past I know, you didn’t adopt anyone except Fergus.”  Charlie said.  “I think it is a fine idea.”

“Aye, we could get rooms ready, or…” Jamie was gathering speed as he spoke, “They could stay in the cabin if they want and we could give wages to them.  They would be older, and likely distrustful so the freedom would help.  We need to be upfront from the start though.  I think it will work for both us and the lads.” Jamie said.  He was so excited; he had been thinking about this for days.

“Aye.”  Violet and Murtagh said together and Violet laughed and took Murtagh’s hand.

Jamie looked at me, I hadn’t said anything.  I was still so surprised.

“Everyone think about this, pray about this, we will decide tomorrow morning.”  Jamie said and knocked the table twice.  Murtagh and Violet wandered off.  Charlie was reading a book he’d brought.

I was more than a little stunned. I got up, looked at Jamie and we went to our bedroom.

“What is it Claire?  I think this is a grand idea; it will help some lads and help us.” Jamie said.

I turned around and surprised him by kissing him.  “I suggested adopting an orphan to Frank years ago and he said he could never love a child that wasn’t of his blood.  This is happening so fast, I am surprised that’s all, in a good way.” I said and kissed him again.

“So ye are with me?” Jamie asked.

“Of course, yes.” I said and hugged him.  “Why do you want to offer them the cabin?  I think they would want to stay in the house.” I said.

“They dinna have to stay in the cabin, I thought they might want to, give them some freedom, aye?” Jamie said and I nodded.  He looked very content.  “I wasna in a position to help anyone after Culloden.  I can help people now, after your war.”  Jamie said and held me.  

“How can we be parents to them when we are leaving?” I asked.  I thought it was a marvelous idea, but maybe not the right time.

“Well, I think Murtagh and Violet will have to adopt them.  But we will look for older boys.  They already had parents, they don’t need parents.  They need purpose and hope and we can give that.  We can give them everything they need and a good start.  Isn’t that what they lack?  You said a few weeks ago that orphans get too old for the orphanage and they just get put out.  We can keep that from happening for a few boys.” Jamie said.

I was touched that my words were so important; maybe he had been thinking about this longer than days.  ‘I’m with you Jamie.” I said.

The rest of the day was a normal one and that night we made love slowly and passionately.  The morning came and since everyone still felt the same.  He had talked to Murtagh and Violet and they were fine being the ones who adopted the boys.   Jamie was ready to head out to the orphanage at nine am.

I dressed quickly and made a few quick sandwiches, thinking of food scarcity that was likely in an orphanage.  I also grabbed my medical kit, just in case.  Then I sat down on the couch in the front room.

“Sassenach, are ye ready?” Jamie asked.

I looked up to see Jamie and Fergus, Charlie, Murtagh and Violet all looking at me.

“I don’t think I’m going, but please go ahead.” I said.  

Fergus sat on the couch next to me. “I will wait with you Mere.”

“Fergus, go outside so I can talk to your Mam.” Jamie said and Fergus went outside.

“What is it Sassenach?” Jamie asked as he sat next to me and put his arm around my shoulders.

“Orphanages are usually dirty, awful places.  They have to feed many mouths with little money and don’t have adequate cleanliness.  I’m sorry Jamie, I don’t want to risk it because I;m pregnant.” I said.  I was firm at the end; I knew we were inviting people into our lives but I wouldn’t risk getting sick.  I would meet the boys Jamie chose.

“Ye are right, I’m sorry I didna think of that.” Jamie said and stared off into space as if he was trying to figure out how he missed this. 

“How can I make sure you are safe when I get back?”  Jamie asked.  I stood up and hugged my highlander.

“Just be careful when you are inside, and make sure Fergus is too.  Have the boys take showers when they get here.” I said and he nodded.

“I’m sorry-” Jamie started to apologize again but I cut him off.

“Oh my goodness, Jamie love, you didn’t do anything wrong.  I didn’t even think about it until we were leaving and I’ve fought the wee beasties, as you call germs.” I said and tucked my head under Jamie’s chin.

“Thank ye Claire,” Jamie said and kissed my forehead, “for everything you go through for our children before they are even born.”

“Oh, it’s a lot, and I will need more than a forehead kiss but I can wait until tonight for a proper thank you.” I said with a wide smile, bringing my lips to my husband for a better kiss..

“Oh, proper it will be.” Jamie said, then he kissed me and sat down bringing me onto his lap and never breaking the kiss.  This man had skill.

Some minutes passed, and I heard a continuing, loud forced cough.  I broke our kiss and looked up.

“Is one of the children coughing?” I asked, not having heard it thoroughly.

“ Nay, we are waitin’ for ye two to come along, ye ken.” Murtagh said loudly from the porch.  We tried not to laugh but Jamie’s ears turned the slightest bit pink.  We heard Murtagh walking toward the auto’s saying, “Jamie was gettin’ a chumma before we left.”  and then we both giggled.  

I walked out with Jamie and told everyone I wasn’t going.  I offered to keep Ben and Violet gave him to me.  His ears were still bothering him a little and she didn’t want to leave him but I didn’t want him going to the orphanage.

I handed the money pouch over to Violet as it would be her and Murtagh who would formally adopt the boys.  I also gave her the bag of sandwiches and she looked at me strangely.

“In case they are hungry.” I said.

“Ach, aye, of course, good thinking Claire.”  Violet said.

“Don’t forget to stop in town on the way home and buy them new clothes, shoes, and more food.  Bicycles for them would be a good turn too.” I said, trying to think of everything.

They left and Ben and I sat on the back porch and enjoyed the mild weather for a bit.  I walked to my herb garden and saw I needed to weed already.  Ben seemed to be tired so the two of us took a nap while Flora and the children had lunch.

When I woke up I knew something had changed.  I sat up and saw Jamie’s clothes he had worn this morning in the hamper and Ben was gone.  I got up and saw Lily feeding Ben.  Jamie was in the shower; Charlie was freshly showered.

I sat at the table and Fergus stood up quickly.  I must have looked crushed because he quickly said, “Mere, non, Da told me about the germs and I haven't showered yet so I will go to my room.”.

“Fergus, no, please tell us about our new lads.” I said and motioned for him to sit back down but he stayed where he was by the door.

“Weelll,” Fergus started and I thought about how much Scottish slang and pronunciation our French lad was picking up.

“The orphanage was dirty,  you were right. Lewis Puller is seventeen, his brother Martin is sixteen and the youngest brother is Gordon and he is fifteen.  Lewis was about to be whipped when we walked in and Da stopped it!” Fergus said and beamed with pride.

“Good!” I said.  I abhorred corporal punishment.

“Martin was in class and I’m going to lend him one of my books.  Gordon, they call him Gordy, has trouble breathing.” Fergus finished a little sad.

I stood up.  “What do you mean he has trouble breathing?” I said.  I was already thinking about common breathing issues and going through my stock of medicine.

“Alright, Fergus, your turn.” Jamie said coming around the corner and Fergus went to shower.  “Hi Sassenach.” Jamie leaned into me for a kiss.

“Where are our new additions?” I asked.

“They went with Murtagh and Violet to their house to shower and change, then take the youngest lad to see Dr. Alice for his breathing.  He wheezes.” Jamie said then demonstrated the wheezing and looked at me questioningly.

“Yes, that's wheezing.” I said.

Jamie came over to me and touched his forehead to mine.  “Dinna fash a leannian ghrinn, we are following your orders and the boys are being cared for.” Jamie said.

“That's a new one I think…” I  looked at the ceiling trying to remember all the Gaelic Jamie was teaching me.  “Ghrinn… darling!” I said feeling accomplished.  

“Aye” Jamie said softly and kissed me.

“The sandwiches were a verre good idea, the boys practically ate them whole.” Jamie said and laughed.

“When are they coming back?” I asked.

“Probably tonight,” Jamie said and saw my worried face, “Lass, Murtagh and Violet are the ones the boys will be with first, they need to get to know each other.” Jamie said and I nodded. 

The phone rang and it was Violet checking in on Ben.  They would be coming home after they saw Dr. Alice.  I heard laughter in the background and I released the rest of my concern.

Fergus got his shower then worked on his homework in the library.  Faith, Brianna, and little Murtagh were all still sleeping and Jamie, Ben and I went to our bedroom and pulled out everything we had for our upcoming journey while Lily started dinner for us.

“Do ye think we are ready Sassenach?” Jamie asked.

I looked at everything on the bed and my bag of medication I was taking back to Jenny.  

“Are ye sure we need to bring this extra fabric?  It’s from this time and might be an issue.”  Jamie had picked up the flowered cotton.

“I think Jenny could make it work, and besides you don’t have to wear the dresses and everything under it in the hot summer.” I said and put it back on the pile.

I looked at the pictures I was bringing and saw Jamie was looking at them too.  “I know, they are dangerous.  But these are duplicates so after Jenny and Ian see them we can burn them.”  I said and Jamie nodded.

A tear escaped and went down my cheek.  I wiped it away but Jamie noticed.  “It will be okay, dinna fash, they will take care of our children.” Jamie said and held me.

“I can’t stand the thought of being away from them for weeks.  I know we can’t let Ian suffer for you but, weeks without knowing how they are, if they are well,” and the last came out through an anguished sob, “If they are alive.”  I said and cried for a while.

After some minutes passed Jamie and I had slid to the floor.  He was holding me, wiping my tears and whispering Gaelic to me.  I took a deep breath and was ready to tell Jamie I couldn’t go, I couldn’t leave our children.  I knew what was going to happen to Ian was terrible, but maybe if we could warn them somehow, maybe it could be avoided anyway.  I couldn’t leave my babies and my sweet Fergus.

Then I saw it.  The rock; the rock I used so we could talk to Jenny and Ian.  I could leave that rock here with Violet and Fergus and borrow Jenny’s for a while.  I could use it to talk to them  and if something was wrong I could come home immediately.

I explained this idea to Jamie and he thought it was a great idea to reassure us the children were fine.  As soon as Jamie agreed I went to get Fergus and brought him to our room.

“I see you are preparing for your trip Mere.”  Fergus said blandly.  He didn’t want us to go either.

“Fergus,” I held onto Jamie’s arm and the three of us sat on the floor so we could talk quietly.  “You know I can use this rock to talk to Jenny and Ian right?” I asked to be sure the basics were understood.

Fergus looked at me and had a little smile.  I was reminded of how many times he called me magic and I smiled.  “Oui Mere, of course, I have seen you send things through a rock and talk through it.” He said.  He still had a little smile.

I smiled back and gave him a shrug.  Maybe, maybe I was magic.  He nodded.  Jamie was watching the back and forth but he didn’t say anything.

“Here is my question, when we go through I can borrow Jenny’s rock and use it to talk to you, will you talk with us?” I asked and held my breath.

“Of course Mere, I will hold on to your rock and talk to you through it.  Why do you not ask Ms. Violet or Murtagh?” Fergus asked.

I sighed.  I didn’t know how to explain my doubt that I would get the whole truth.  I was afraid Murtagh and Violet would try to spare our feelings.

“Because you are our son, our oldest son and we trust you above everyone.  We will need the truth, do not try to spare our feelings.” Jamie said.  Fergus sat a little taller and his shoulders seemed a little wider.

“Aye, Mere, Da, you can trust me.” Fergus said but looked a little confused.

“What is it son?” Jamie asked.

“It’s only… what if something happens, what if one of us gets sick?” Fergus asked.

“I will come back.” I said.  I sounded confident.  Jamie looked at me.

“I thought we could only go through the stones on certain days.” Fergus said.

“If you are sick, or Faith, or Brianna, or little Murtagh, if any of my children are sick enough to be troubling, I am coming back to care for you and I will find a way to get through that damned rock.” I said.  There’s that confidence again.

Fergus hugged me and whispered in my ear, “I believe you Mere, you just have to use your magic.”  Then he kissed my cheek and left the room.

Jamie didn’t say anything and that was good.  He looked at me and I looked back at him and silently dared him to contradict me.  He pulled me to him and kissed me passionately.

After a few minutes I broke the kiss and said, “Now we are ready.”

*****

Murtagh, Violet and the Puller boys made it in time for dinner.  Lewis was tall and looked strong, Martin had the same height and strength, but Gordon looked young and small for his age.  They were polite and very hungry.

They were very eager to see the cabin so Jamie and Fergus showed them after dinner and the Puller lads loved it and wanted to live out there.  Even though they had to warm the water for bathing and keep a fire for heat.  Jamie was right; they wanted their freedom.

Murtagh, Violet and Ben went to bed early.  Jamie and I packed two carts full of food and supplies they would need at the cabin.  I went with them to see if anything triggered Gordon’s wheezing but he was fine.

 Jamie had twine and material and he was marking the trees.  This was so the boys could find the way back to the house in the morning.

Martin and Gordon planned to sleep on the bed and Lewis on the couch.  Jamie helped them bring in plenty of firewood and showed them how to heat the water for a shower.  

“Sir, you don’t expect anything from us but to work in the barn and help with the crops?” Martin asked.

Jamie sat next to me on the couch.  The boys were already sitting on the bed. 

“Lads, I ken ye dinna trust me, and I understand.  I promise ye, we only want ye’re help, ye’re honesty.  In exchange ye will have plenty of food and ye’re own cabin fer as long as ye want it. If ye want to add onto it we can do that this summer after I’m back.” Jamie said.  

“If you change your mind and want to sleep in the house, that’s fine too!” I said and they laughed.

I took out some money from my pocket and handed it to Lewis.  I made sure I had brought plenty.

“What is this for?” Lewis asked.

“Murtagh said you talked about running away, and while I want you three to stay you need to understand you have control now.  If you decide to leave I want you to do it safely.  We need your help, and I hope you stay.” I said.

Jamie gave them the keys to the cabin and they were beaming when we left.

They didn’t leave.  The next morning they were on the back porch waiting for breakfast.

****************

 

We all went to church on Sunday and saw the Reverend.  Lewis thought Catholics having a friend who was a Protestant minister was funny.

Lewis and Martin were constantly hungry and ate all they could.  Gordon was more cautious and I started to wonder if he had stomach issues.

On our way home the boys asked to be let out by their cabin and Jamie let them out, reminding Lewis about their driving lesson after dinner.  We wanted to be sure there was another driver just in case.  I made up my mind and got out of the car.

“Gordon, wait up.” I said.

“Yes Mam.” Gordon said and bowed his head.  Whenever they acted meek I wanted to punch someone at that orphanage.  They were teen boys; they should be running wild and acting disrespectful.

“Claire, please call me Claire.” I said and smiled.  Gordon met my eyes and smiled back at me.

“Gordon, I was wondering if your stomach pained you?” I asked him.  He looked at me oddly.  His brothers were only a few steps away and they looked at me.

“You don’t seem to have the strong appetite of your brothers, I was just wondering if I could help.” I said.

“Oh, no, my wame is fine.  At the orphanage all I got was thin soup to eat.” He said that like it explained everything.

“Why?” I asked.

Lewis stepped up and answered.  “They said Gordy would likely die any day so they wouldn’t waste good food on him.  They only ever gave me bread and milk for nie on two years because they said I would wind up in jail.  Martin got good food and he shared it with us.” Lewis said and nodded to me.

I was somehow able to speak.  “If you need anything overnight, remember the key is to the back door of the house.” I said.  A chorus of ‘Aye’s’ answered me.

I got in the car, turned to Jamie and he said, “Aye, I heard Sassenach.  I will write to the governor tomorrow for Murtagh.”  He said and I could see the whites of his knuckles on the steering wheel.

***************

The next few days passed quickly.  On Monday Jamie went to the grocery after dropping Fergus off at school and bought plenty of supplies.  That day we made forty sandwiches and I cut twenty oranges in half and wrapped up the halves.  Lewis and Jamie went to the orphanage and passed out the food.  That night in bed he told me he is not able to adopt forty boys, but he would be damned if a lad in his city said he only ate bread and milk for years ever again.

Tuesday Murtagh and Martin lit a charcoal grill in the front yard of the orphanage and made hot dogs for all the boys.  They passed out soda pops and saw the boys smile.

I was proud of what they were doing.  I didn’t worry about the money because my Uncle Lamb had left me so much.  On Wednesday Jamie was going to take a day off.

“Why, I thought you were doing amazing work!” I said.

“Well, I dinna have too many more sword fighting lessons before we go and I want to be sure we leave Murtagh and Violet with enough money.” Jamie said.

“Love, look at me.” I said and waited for him to look.  “My Uncle Lamb left me a lot of money and more than half of it is still left.  Feeding neglected boys is a wonderful thing to do with that money.” I told Jamie.

So Wednesday the boys of the orphanage had spaghetti and sauce with giant meatballs they all tried to cram in their mouths whole.  It was a funny story.  I hadn’t gone myself yet as there was news of influenza in Inverness.

I was spending as much time as possible with the children.  Fergus played with Lewis, Martin and Gordon in the dooryard quite a bit and Jamie and I loved to see it.  They were rowdy and loud and I bought them different kinds of balls to add to the fun.  

This led them to explaining American football to Jamie, Fergus and Murtagh on a bright afternoon.  Violet and I sat on the steps with the children and tried not to laugh out loud watching them try to play.

The last Saturday we were in 1950 for a while Jamie and I took the children on a picnic and we were gone for five and a half hours.  Fergus brought a book because he thought it might be boring or maybe because he just always has a book now.  He never opened it.  We played and ate and played and ate.  It was a glorious time.  Monday was the first of May and we would be leaving that night.  On our way back I was able to speak to Fergus.

“Fergus, are you still alright with talking to me through the rock?” I asked.  I wanted to be sure I would know what was going on with my children.

“Aye Mere, every night between nine and ten, as early as you can get to me.  And I tell you the whole truth through your magic rock, I remember.” He said and we walked.

I stopped and looked at him through watery eyes.  “One of the best days of our life was when you came into it.” I said.  He’d stopped with me and looked seriously at me.  Jamie was ahead of us but he’d stopped and looked back at us.  The twins were in a stroller Jamie was pushing and Faith was trying to keep up with her Da.

“I know Mere, mine too.” Fergus said and took my hand and we went to the car.

That night, as I was getting ready for bed I was trying not to cry.  I planned to talk to Jamie and get his promise that we’d try our best to be home on the June solstice.  When I got to the bedroom, Jamie was the one with tears on his cheeks.

“I’m sorry Sassenach.” Jamie said and looked away.

“No,” I said and put a hand on his cheek to make him look at me, “I’m sorry.  I’ve been tied in knots knowing I would be leaving the children and I wasn’t thinking that you felt the same.”  I said and tried to put my forehead on his as was our usual first step in calming each other.  But Jamie drew back and looked at me.

“Ye didna think I would have a hard time leaving Fergus?  Ye didna think I would have a hard time leaving our bairns?  Our Faith who you pulled from rock?  Our twins that I first held when they were born.  Do ye think I am a monster?” Jamie asked.

“No, that’s not it.  I thought you just saw the rightness of making sure Ian didn’t suffer for you.” I said.  “I would never think you were cold, maybe I was just tied up with my own dread of leaving them, I’m sorry.” I said and he allowed me to put my forehead to his.

“Good, because it is tearing my insides out.  We are leaving our bairns in good hands, but I am still eaten up with it.” Jamie said growling the last bit in my ear.

Jamie bit my earlobe and took my mouth in a searing kiss.  I tried to match Jamie’s strength and passion but I barely kept up.  After a few minutes he had me naked on the bed.

“Claire, I am hurting and I can nay be gentle.  If it be too much-” He said, sweating and looking at the cleft between my legs.

“I can handle my husband.” I said and stroked his hair.

A second later his mouth was on me.  He had a finger inside me and spread me wide to find that little nubbin with his mouth.  He stubbornly set up camp between my legs and had me writhing and begging for him to enter me.  My release came twice before I heard him tear his clothes then he was inside me.  My highlander was rock hard and seated himself in me as far as he could.  I gasped and Jamie held me to him as if we were one person.  I think somewhere in our lovemaking I might have fainted from pleasure.

He was wild and in need that night and I woke up bruised a bit.  I didn’t mind; Jamie was the love of my life and I would take what he had to give, but I was sore the next morning.  

*****

The Puller boys were settling in well and they worked in the barn with Murtagh and Jamie very well.  Jamie was confident they would work out and they’d promised they would stay until we returned.  Lewis turned eighteen in mid June and they wanted to leave afterwards, but they were very nice to have at the house and Murtagh said they treated the animals well.  Martin was amazed at the sword fighting lessons and Jamie and Murtagh agreed to teach him.

On Monday May first I woke up very early.  Faith was awake and standing next to me, speaking.

“Momma, can we watch the sun rise?” She asked me.

I almost told her to lay down with me.  I have never been an early riser, but this day was different and I got up.

“Let’s go honey.” I said.

I pulled on some clothes that Jamie had thrown off me the night before and followed Faith down the hall.

“Can we get a peanut butter and jelly sandwich for breakfast?” Faith asked.

I nodded but due to timing just took the supplies with us.  We went to the little hill behind the house where we had a good view of the sunrise and Faith handed me a pair of my sunglasses and she put the other pair on.

I made sandwiches and she sat in my lap as we ate and watched the sunrise in silence.  This was one of those things...you love all your children but they each have all these special qualities that you like about them too.  I liked this about Faith; she didn’t fill every second.  Brianna and Murtagh were younger and it was usually a constant stream of babble because they were still learning to talk.

After the sun was up Faith wiped her hands in the dirt just as her Father would.  She turned halfway around so she could look at me.

“Ye and Da are going through the stones.” She said.  It wasn’t really a question, she knew.  I decided not to hide the truth.

“Yes, we are going today.” I said.

“Aye, beltane, Gran talks about Beltane.” She said and nodded.  “Keep my Da safe, okay Momma?  The stones are a terrible place to live.” Faith said quietly.

I hugged her.  “Of course I will.  I will miss you, my girl!” I said and we stayed like that until Jamie found us there ten minutes later.  Faith climbed on his lap and I made him a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

We went back to the house and the twins were awake.  Jamie and I both walked in the nursery and they both said, “Mommy up” over and over.

“I’ll get Brianna.” I said.  Not that I loved Murtagh any less, but when his diaper was changed if he had to go again he could spray three feet in the air and Jamie was better at dodging. I knew I would be potty training when we returned.

Fergus was out of school for the summer.  Their year was a little short but a lot of farmers' families sent their sons there and they were needed at home.  Fergus had an extensive packet of homework he would need to do over the summer and he didn’t mind.  He was actually glad his learning would continue.

There was a small Beltane festival we found a little north of us and the six of us went.  Murtagh and Violet stayed because she had to see to the Reverend's house and Murtagh took care of Ben.   Normally I would offer to keep Ben so Murtagh could go with us.  I think he knew it too.  When we were leaving I looked at him and I looked at Ben.  He’d told me it was fine, he had some reading to catch up on and to go have fun with my family.  I told him he was my family too.  He’d walked me out and told me it was fine and he understood we needed to soak up enough memories to last for some weeks.  Charlie didn’t want to come either.  He was always reading or writing. I got the sense that he was trying to remain, at least a little, detached.  Maybe he didn’t want to change history, except keeping his uncle alive.  I think Ahote had talked to him and dampened his exuberance for us and for the time period.  

Ahote had come back two days ago.  He was sleeping in the woods; we offered him a room but he refused it.  Murtagh said he was probably up to all sorts of things.  Jamie had looked away because he was smiling.

The fair was fun and the kids loved it.  We came home with little toys and games and a bag full of candy.  Jamie had asked Faith for a piece and she had given him the bag and told him to take it to her cousins.  Jamie had looked at me with shock in his eyes and I was the one to shrug my shoulders this time.  Faith was like a little force of nature; you took her as she was and no one could influence her.  Fergus was an amazing big brother to her, they were together a lot.

The dreaded time had come.  The children were in bed except for Fergus who insisted on staying up to be awake if his siblings needed him since Murtagh and Violet would be driving us.  Flora was spending the night and she thought they were dropping us off for a night train.

“Claire, ye must let the lad go.” Jamie said to me as I was hugging Fergus.

“No.” I muttered into Fergus’s shoulder and he tightened his hold on me.

But I did have to let go and we left.  I started to get in the car but I turned to see Fergus in the window waving at me.  I waved back and tried to smile through my tears.

“Murtagh and Violet will care for them as if they were their own,  Charlie is here with medicines from the future.  I know in my heart they will be okay.” Jamie said to me.

“I know, but it doesn’t make it easier to leave them for weeks.” I said.

“I keep telling myself they will be safe and I have to go make sure the other part of our family will be safe.”  Jamie said.

I turned to look at him.  That was an amazing way to look at it and completely honest.

I nodded and got in the car.

Chapter 34: Pleasant Surprise

Notes:

Hello Dear Readers,

I'm going to warn you know -> Any vegetarians may not approve of this chapter, but I was trying to stay practical. It was a 'what would they have done then' question. If it was a question for our time it would be very different.

I hope you enjoy!

Chapter Text

To my surprise Ahote was in the car.  I thought he was meeting us there.  Charlie was also here but I knew he wanted to see us go through.  I nodded at Ahote and he nodded back at me.  

I was sitting between Jamie and Charlie and I held both their hands.

 

“I will do everything to keep your children well.” Charlie said.

 

“Ye willna need to lad, I will protect the children with my life.” Murtagh said from the front seat.

 

I looked at Charlie and nodded.  He had proven himself and I trusted him.  

 

The ride to the stones was slow in the dark but it didn’t feel slow.  All too soon we arrived and Jamie and I were standing behind the open trunk to change into our eighteenth century clothing.  We didn’t want to risk questions when we were supposed to be getting dropped off for a night train. He had wanted to wear his kilt but knew it was a bad idea so he wore breaks and his boots that he loved.  Jamie helped me with my layers and then we were ready.

 

I hugged Violet first and wasn’t able to say anything but she smiled and nodded back at me.  I hugged Murtagh who looked uncomfortable..  I kissed him on the cheek and whispered in his ear that I trusted him with those most precious to me. He whispered back to me ‘Aye, me too a nighean’ and I thought about all Murtagh and Jamie meant to each other. I  hugged Charlie and he held me tight.   I wondered if I would get to meet this man as a lad, but I didn’t have time to wonder much right now.

 

We had a toast to a safe trip and I had half a dram since I was pregnant.  In a flash Jamie and I were holding hands at the traveling rock.  Jamie carried four of the satchels we made but I only carried one.  The rock called to me so loudly, it felt like the rock was screaming.  Charlie heard it, he covered his ears and took a few steps back.  Ahote heard it too, but he was mostly still.  We stood at the rock and Jamie looked at me.  We kissed and Jamie nodded that he was ready.  So many nods tonight.  I might become an expert at them the same way I have learned to decode the Scottish shrug and the Scottish noise that comes from their throats. My dress was being pulled into the rock like there was a wind blowing it.  Jamie had a ring on that carried a stone and I had a necklace.

 

Ahote told us it was midnight and stepped in front of us and just as he’d done before. He slit a rabbit’s neck and sprayed the blood on the stone.  He looked very regal in his native garb and I knew he was going to a different time right after we left.  He stepped back and I stepped into the loud stone holding onto Jamie who stepped into it right behind me.

 

There was immediate chaos and I was getting pulled on from every which way.  I yelled stop, then returned to thinking about the date we needed to reach.  A second later Jamie and I and five bags tumbled out of the rock onto the ground.  

 

-Jamie’s POV-

 

In my mind I had begun to think of the trip through the stones like a trip through purgatory.  When we stepped in the stone I realized I had underestimated it.  It was immediate screaming and pulling and chaos and darkness.  Claire yelled to stop and a small white light came from her hands, then we were out of the rock falling into grass.  It’s the most terrible thing ye can imagine, then it’s over.

 

I got to my hands and knees, then jumped up to vomit in the bushes.  “Sassenach” I called.  In my rush to empty my stomach I hadn't seen her.

 

“Claire!” I called a little louder but still a loud whisper. I didn’t know for sure what time we were in and who was in the area.  I knew she'd been successful getting us somewhere for sure because all the noise of her time was gone.  I could see smoke from the little abandoned cabin that didn’t exist in her time either.  Smoke.  People.

 

It was pitch black but I got on my hands and knees and started looking for my wife.  I was used to the electric lights and my eyes hadn’t yet adjusted from the flashlights Violet and Charlie carried up the hill.

 

A foot!  I found my Sassenach on the ground much closer to the stone than where I had landed.  I picked her up and sat back down with her on my lap.

 

“Sassenach! Wake up my love” I said and kissed her cheek and her forehead.  She didna rouse so I shook her a bit at the shoulders.

 

“Madonna” Some called near us.  I didna call back at first because I didna know who it was calling.  “Madonna, it’s Raymond.” He called again.

 

I stood up and said, “We are here.”  I still had an unconscious Claire in my arms.

 

“Oh dear, get her away from the stone, bring her to the cabin.” Raymond said and started picking up our bags.  I took them from him and carried the bags and Claire to the cabin.  I sat her near the fire and put the bag that had fabric in it under her head.

 

“She is breathing, can ye help her?” I asked the little frog man.  He wasn’t my favorite person but he knew many things I did not.  I would not choose his company but it was because I was uncomfortable, not that anything was wrong with Raymond.

 

“May I examine her?” Raymond asked.  I stepped back and he checked her pulse, her temperature, her eyes and her throat.

 

“She seems fine- but-” Raymond raised his voice when I was going to interrupt to ask him why my wife was still unconscious if she was fine.  “Did she go through the preparations?  Did she eat a lot of meat in the last few weeks before you traveled?”  He asked me.

 

I looked at my Sassenach’s ghostly white face.  “No, fish and red meat still made her nauseous, she ate a lot of fruit and vegetables.” I said and might’ve kicked my own arse.  We forgot that she needed extra protein before bringing people through when traveling.

 

“She has likely just fainted from anemia then.  She was anemic when she was pregnant with little Faith” Raymond said and before I could ask him what I could do for her he got up and left.  

 

I kept speaking to Claire, and touching her.  I wanted her to come around as soon as possible, I needed her.  It felt like I was without my heart for hours but it was likely only a few minutes that  passed.

 

Then she grasped my hand as I ran it down her arm.  “Jamie” I heard her whisper.

 

“I am here Sassenach, come back to me my love.” I said and stroked her face again.

 

After another few seconds Claire opened her eyes and looked at me.  She tried to sit up.  “Wait, please, just take it slow.” I said.

 

“Where are we?” She whispered hoarsely. 

 

I got the flask with juice in it and gave her some.  “I love this juice.” She whispered after she took a drink and I smiled.  I knew this was her favorite and since she didna want to drink spirits on account of the bairn I packed it for her.

 

She cleared her throat a bit and sat up to look around.  “This is that little cabin by the stones, right?” Claire asked me.

 

“Aye, your Master Raymond is here.  I carried ye here then he looked at ye.  We forgot the meat Sassenach.” I said.

 

“I didn’t forget, but I couldn’t keep it down.” Claire said and I gave her a look of disapproval.  She shrugged at me and I almost smiled.   

 

The door swung open and I had my dirk in one hand and my sword in the other.  It was Raymond.

 

“Peace lad!  The redcoats passed this way three days ago and do not plan to be back for weeks.” Raymond said.  He had a canvas bag that was bloody.  Claire gagged.

 

“Go to that side.” Raymond said, pointing at the other corner.

 

I picked up Claire and arranged her by the other fireplace.  It was out but I lit it and had a small fire going.  It wasn’t very cold outside but Claire tended to run cold.

 

Raymond came over to us and sat down.  “Hello Madonna, I am glad to see you made it through again.  Why didn’t you eat the meat you needed to make it safer?” Raymond asked.

 

“Hello Master Raymond.” Claire said and smiled at the little frogman then touched his arm .  “I couldn’t keep it down.  I ate a lot of fruits and vegetables and I thought it might be alright.”

 

“You must cover the protein in some manner.  I can make something with protein in it but it will taste like something else.  Do you want to try?” He asked.

 

Claire nodded, “Yes, I would be happy to try it.  Thank you.” She said and they smiled at each other.

 

“Are ye okay Sassenach, truly?” I asked.  

 

“Yes, just tired.”  She told me.

 

“I will be right back.” I said.  I walked over to where Raymond was to see what he was doing.

 

“Did ye just kill an animal?” I asked, seeing him cut pieces on the wood table.

 

“Yes, I did.  Claire needs protein and red meat is the fastest way.”  Raymond looked up and laughed a bit.

 

“What is funny?” I asked, feeling a little tense.

 

“Nothing, but there is a time where we can get protein from powder.  In another time I might be making her a shake.” He said and laughed a little again.  “Will you please build up the fire a bit so I can cook this?”

 

“Aye” I said and built the fire up.  Raymond refused any help so I went to sit with Claire.  She had her eyes closed and I sat next to her and rubbed her temple like she had asked me to before. I closed my eyes for just a second and then Raymond was trying to wake me.

 

“Here is the meat, please take a bite.” Raymond said and I looked at him.  He sighed and took a bite himself, then I took a bite.  It tasted like good meat, it was safe to give Claire.  Then he took some powder and sprinkled it over every piece of the meat and took a bite himself.

“Hmm, toll house chocolate chip cookies.” He said.

 

I took a piece and closed my eyes as I tasted the cookies that only my Mother made.  They were the most wonderful cookies I had ever tasted though it had been many years since I had eaten one.

 

“How do ye do that?” I asked.  

 

“Science.” He said and left us to eat.  

 

I looked at the plate full of meat.  “Claire, wake up, ye have to eat.” I said.

 

She sat up and opened her eyes.  I fed her a bite of the meat.  “Cotton candy!” She exclaimed.  “My Uncle Lamb would take me to any festivals or fairs in the area when we traveled and this is cotton candy.” She said and ate a good portion of the meat.  I didn’t tell her about Raymonds cookies or my Mother’s cookies; that could wait.  She was still so pale and I was worrit.

 Claire grabbed my hand and held it to her stomach and I held my breath.  I felt a tiny little movement, more like a quiver. ‘He’s alright Jamie, he’s alright.” She said and closed her eyes.  

 

Raymond had told me we should sleep as much as we could so I got our bedroll and we slept right there by the fire.  I pulled Claire close to me, put a blanket over us and my arm around her.  I slept well until I felt Claire moving and sat up with my dirk in my hand.

 

“Jamie, it’s fine, I have to go pee.” She said.

 

“Okay Sassenach, let’s go.” I said.  She looked at me funny but we were back in my time and I didn’t trust the woods were scoundrel free.  

 

We went outside and I held her skirts with one hand and my dirk in the other.  Claire was still a little wobbly but seemed much better.  She finished and used one of the little soaps she brought with some water to wash.

 

The sun was just coming up and we noticed how many animals were around.  Not forest animals but cows, chickens and pigs and then we remembered the animals we were bringing Jenny and Ian.  We went in the little cabin and I was determined to be nice and respectful to Raymond.  He was still asleep but Claire tilted her head like she could hear something.  I tried but didn’t hear anything.

 

“Raymond, Raymond,” Claire said, trying to wake the little man.

 

“Yes Madonna” He said sleepily, sitting up and rubbing his face.

 

“The stone, do you have one, I can hear my children.” Claire said, almost pleading.

 

I looked at her; I still heard nothing.  Maybe she’s hit her head?

 

Raymond looked surprised, but pleased. “Yes, I thought you would want it.” Raymond said and reached down into his bag and brought a rock similar to the one we’d left with Fergus.

 

“Thank you!” Claire said and kissed his forehead.  I was wondering why I couldn’t hear my bairns if Claire could.  

 

Claire ran over to me with the stone.

 

-back to Claire’s POV-

 

I was ecstatic that I didn’t have to wait until we got to Lallybroch.  Jamie was looking at me strangely but I didn’t really care right now.  I took his hand and walked back to where our bedroll was and sat down.

 

I held the rock in both my hands and willed it to open.  I saw Jamie’s face light up when the rock lit.  Maybe he could only hear through it when it was lit?

“Fergus.” I called softly.  I heard him and Faith talking.

 

A door slammed then “Mere! Are you and Da alright? Are you safe?” Fergus asked.

 

“Aye” Jamie said almost laughing and I saw a silent tear roll down his cheek. “We are fine, we are safe and whole and in the right time, Master Raymond is here to help us too.”

 

“Fergus, how are you, what are you doing today?  Is Faith with you?” I asked.

 

“Yes Momma, I am here.” Faith yelled so loud I almost dropped the rock.

 

“There is no need to yell mon cher, just talk like they are sitting next to you.” Fergus told her and we heard the tiny ‘yes frere’.  A door opened and closed and I heard Murtagh.

 

“Are they safe, did they arrive at the right place?” Murtagh asked.

“Yes, Murtagh, we are safe and in the right place.” I said.

 

“Aye, dinna fash, we are fine.  How is everything there?” Jamie asked.

 

“Claire,  ye truly are a fairy, ye have my thanks, and Jamie, a dhia, you’ve been gone less than eight hours.  It’s fine except for the house being awake at seven in the morning.  Fergus and Faith are reading together and Vi is doing flashcards with the twins.  She has an idea to surprise you a nighean by teaching the twins to learn to say their colors.  Wele, I just told ye that one.  Wee Ben is in my arms.  I am glad ye both are safe.”  Murtagh said and he walked out.

 

Fergus was laughing.  “Is he mad Momma?’ I heard Faith ask.

 

“No, not really, it’s just his way, it will be fine.’ I said.  Fergus asked about seeing a school friend at the movies later today and I told him that was a wonderful idea if transportation could be arranged.  I was very glad I had taken everyone to the movies already so he would be more prepared.

 

All too soon our time was over and I had to close the rock.  We planned a meeting for this evening when Fergus returned from the movies and I told him around nine but the truth was I could hear him anyway.  I didn’t tell him that.

 

I closed the rock and looked at Jamie.  A moment passed.

 

“Fourteen minutes.  You held it open for fourteen minutes.”  Raymond said and stared at Claire for a moment.  Then he turned around and went outside.  I leaned against Jamie and we sat that way for a few minutes just thinking about our family in 1950.  We had a household that seemed to just grow and I was proud thinking about how well the Puller boys and Fergus got along. I was reminded of  Jamie and Murtagh playing in the dooryard with the boys. 

 

Master Raymond came in and I got up to talk to my old friend but he had a giant piece of meat and I gagged.

 

“I’m sorry, we really appreciate you helping us.” I said as I opened the door for fresh air.

 

“It is alright Madonna, Jamie would you please build up the fire so I may cook us breakfast.”  Raymond said.

 

“Aye” Jamie said and went to the fireplace.  I watched Jamie for a few minutes; he was so good at lighting fires and I was always impressed at his speed.  He was good at so many things.

 

“How’ve ye been since France Raymond?” Jamie asked.  I was a little surprised because I knew Jamie wasn’t comfortable with Raymond.  I stayed at the door smelling all the wildflowers that were coming up so quickly.

 

“Thank you for asking.  I have been alright, just very busy.” Raymond said.

 

“What do you do when you are not running an apothecary or racing through time?” I asked.

 

“Oh, I long for the days when I may run an apothecary.  I help travelers as best I can, I try to change the things I can, I interfere in small ways.” Raymond said and smiled at me.

 

He handed meat to Jamie to cook and washed his hands.

 

“Have you been practicing with your blue healing crystal?”  Raymond asked me.

 

“I have but I feel like I’ve reached a point where I cannot get any better.” I said, a little disappointed.

 

“It takes time, experience and patience.  Stay with it Madonna.” Raymond said.  “Uh, may I?” He asked and pointed to the ever enlarging area of my abdomen.  I nodded.

 

“Oh, energetic little guy eh Madonna?” Raymond said, laughing a bit.

 

“Yes, very.”  I said.

 

Soon our meal was ready.  We had beef (mine still tasted like cotton candy) muffins and strawberries that I’d packed.  The meal was good.

 

“What is the plan Raymond?  Je suis pret.” Jamie said and I was very proud at that moment.  I’m not sure why, maybe just because Jamie said the Fraser Clan motto. 

 

“I need to tell you something that will happen.” Raymond said and looked at both of us. He got up and moved away from Jamie a little bit.

 

“I’m nay going to like this eh?” Jamie asked.

 

“On the contrary, in the end you will like it very much, we just have to get to the part you like.” Raymond said and grimaced.

 

I took Raymond’s hand and squeezed it. He squeezed it back before he let go of it.

 

“Redcoats are not in this area.  There will be redcoats on the way to Lallybroch because they are going to Inverness.  The only way I have to avoid this is a portal.” Raymond said and took a breath.

 

“Is the portal like what you did for us when I poisoned Randell?” I asked. 

 

“Yes Madonna, that is exactly it.  As you know, Jamie doesn’t.   It feels like you are going through the rocks again.”  Raymond paused here and Jamie swore under his breath in gaelic.  “I have it all set up and I would like to travel through at midnight tonight.” Raymond said and took a drink from his flask.

 

“Here is the problem, maybe.  Jamie, I am sure you have noticed your scars on your back are less and your memories of Randell are fuzzy.” Raymond said.

 

“Aye, I dinna remember the second flogging at all, but I know it happened.  Also Wentworth is very different.” Jamie said.

 

“Ah yes, that is because Claire wounded Randell so much as to change him.  History does not record him as the sadistic bastard he was.  Randell was unable to flog you the second time, he was unable to be, as, well, as vigorous at Wentworth.  Several other situations with Scots went with a lighter experience or none at all from him.”  Raymond said.  He looked down at his flask.

 

“Aye, good, thank ye Claire.” Jamie said.

 

“What else? Why didn’t he die?” I asked.

 

“Ah yes, well he vomited the poison in enough time to not die.  The goal was achieved at any rate.” Raymond said.  He looked up into Jamie’s eyes.  “I’m sure you know what happened during your second flogging, even if you were unconscious.”  Raymond said, hinting of something more.  A few seconds passed.

“Your Father.” I said standing up.

“My Father.” Jamie said at the same time, also standing.

 

I made a calm down motion.  “Is Brian alive Raymond.”  I asked.

 

“Yes and no.  He is in the veil, just as little Faith was when the reason for her death was gone.  Black Jack never raped Fergus, so Jamie never had the duel with him but Faith was in the veil and you Madonna had to bring her out.” Raymond said.

 

“So Claire has to pull my Da out?”  Jamie said, getting excited.  Then looked at me and his excitement faded.

 

“Yes.” Raymond said and looked at me.

 

“Then I need more food.” I said.  Raymond got up to get the meat off the fire. Jamie went to help him and I stepped outside for air.

 

We would need to go through the chaos again to get home.  I sat down in a patch of heather and flowers and I thought back to when I got Faith.  I think I yelled for quiet… or yelled something.  I didn’t even recall.  Jesus H Roosevelt Christ!  It was hard enough to find my child, how will I find a man I’d never met?

 

“Sassenach.” Jamie called quietly as he opened the back door to the cabin.  I held up an arm so he would see me.  He walked over and sat behind me and gathered me to him.  I nuzzled close to him and sigh.

 

“Are ye missing the bairns?” Jamie asked.

 

“Yes, and I’m scared that I may not be able to pull your Father out.” I almost whispered.

 

Jamie hugged me tighter.  “Ye will be fine, and if ye can nay, maybe we can pull him out next time we go through.”  Jamie said.

 

I got up and looked at him.  “You know what it’s like for ten seconds as we pass through.  Your Father has been there for years.” I said.

 

Raymond was coming behind us and he cleared his throat.  “That’s not entirely true. He has been somewhere different  until Jamie passed through.  Blood called to blood.  So he will only have been there for a little while.” Raymond said.  Maybe it was a short enough time one could recover.

 

“Where has he been?” Jamie asked.

 

“I don’t know, I only know he wasn’t in the veil until you went through.” Raymond replied.

 

“If blood calls to blood, why canna I get him?” Jamie asked.

 

“It is Madonna’s gift, I do not make the rules.” Raymond.

 

“Why didn’t you get him out?” I asked Raymond.

 

“I can create extensions, that is how we will reach Lallybroch tonight, but I can't pull someone out.” Raymond said.

 

I swung to look at Raymond; that surprised me.  He looked at me and nodded.  “We all have our different gifts, Madonna.” He said.

 

Jamie cleared his throat.  “Raymond, when we went through Claire’s hands seemed to have a light coming from them. Do ye know why?” Jamie asked.

 

“Light?  What?” I asked.

 

“Ah, Madonna, ye must try to not do that.” Raymond said.

 

“I didn’t even know I did, so how can I stop something I don’t realize I’m doing?”  I asked, getting frustrated.

 

“It is because you are a healer.  The souls in the void can be whole and fine, or they can be broken things left for centuries.  Healing them will take a lot of energy.”  Raymond said.

 

“How do I stop?” I asked.

 

“I don’t know, as I said-” Raymond said but I cut him off.

 

“We all have our separate gifts.  I have to figure it out for myself.” I said.

 

“There is more beef ready and I already powdered yours Claire.” Raymond said.

 

That was how the day went.  Sleep, wake, eat, repeat.  By nightfall I was feeling better; talking to everyone back home really lifted my spirits.  Fergus enjoyed the movie and time spent with friends; Faith ‘read’ me a story, and Violet told me about Murtagh, Fergus and the Puller boys playing in the dooryard after doing some planting.  I reached my hand through and touched Fergus’s cheek and Faith gave me an apple ‘for the new bairn’. 

 

Jamie and I napped.  Raymond fell asleep again but he was up way before we were.  Time moves so fast when you want it to go slow.

 

“Madonna, Jamie, it’s time.”  I heard Raymond say but I didn’t want to open my eyes; I was warm and safe in Jamie’s arms and I had sweet dreams of the children.  Eventually I got up and we got our things together quickly.  We really hadn’t unpacked much.

 

When I stood up I started to go outside and Raymond yelled to stop.  I froze.

 

“The portal is by the front door Madonna, go out the back door and go around, please hurry.” Raymond said.  Now that I was really looking out the door I saw him pushing cows and chickens through the portal.  I almost laughed when I saw him pushing a pig.

 

I realized I was wasting time and took Jamie’s hand and we went out the back door and ran to the front.  I looked at Raymond and he said, “I will see you on the other side.”

 

Jamie held me tighter and we stepped in.

Chapter 35: Going Home

Notes:

Hello my wonderful readers!

I want to apologize for not replying to everyone's comments but I got behind with the holiday. I will get to you.

I hope everyone is happy, healthy and safe..

I hope you enjoy reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it!

Chapter Text

I was racking my brain.  When I went through with Raymond it hadn’t seemed too bad; how do I make it easier to pass?

 

Jamie and I were almost instantly at the other side and I saw the Lallybroch dooryard.  Jenny and Ian were standing amongst so many animals I think I laughed.  I couldn’t look for Brian with Jamie; it was so much easier to ferry one person at a time.  I knew I had to look for Brian alone and that my husband wouldn’t like it one bit.  

 

I went almost to the edge and released Jamie’s hand so he stepped out then I went backwards and he yelled for me.

 

**Jamie’s POV**

 

We made it.  It was the end.  I stepped out and turned to Claire but she was going backwards.

“Claire!” I yelled over and over again trying to get back in the portal.  I couldn’t get in and I couldn’t see Claire.

 

“Jamie, Jamie man, it is so good to see you!” Jenny yelled as soon as she was able to make her way to me through all the animals.

 

“Aye Janet, but Claire didn’t come out.” I said.

 

There was cow after cow, then a couple goats, then more damned chickens that kept coming out.  After another full minute Raymond came out of the portal driving a team of horses pulling a wagon and surprised us all.

 

The portal was starting to close and I yelled to Raymond, “Claire isn’t through yet!”

 

“Madonna?” Raymond asked, then looked around the crowded dooryard.  It was like he thought I missed her coming through.

 

Raymond ran back to the portal and started using powder and something that shined a bright light, he was trying to keep it open I realized.  He was doing something on the ground and I fought my way through the animals to get to him and tried to watch to see if I could help.

 

“He already drew it on the ground, he told us this was how ye’d get here.” Ian yelled to me through the noise.  I would remember this for later and wonder how Jenny and Ian had responded to Raymond drawing something on the ground in the dooryard and telling them Claire and I would come out of air.

 

I was sweating now and really afraid.  Claire had not come out and I was realizing there was nothing I could do to help her.  I looked at Jenny who seemed to be almost as worrit as I.

 

In another few seconds three people stepped out of the portal with ropes around them.  Then I saw it wasn’t ropes but some kind of light. When they fell on the ground I saw it was my Da, Claire and a stranger.

 

“Claire!” I said and she sat up.

 

“I’m alright, just spent.” Claire said and tried to stand up but fell back on her bottom.  I picked her up and held her.  Raymond offered my Da a hand.  I looked at Jenny and Ian and they were obviously in shock.  Raymond hadn’t told them Da would be coming.

 

“Thank ye sir, does the angel have ta go back?” Da said.  

 

“The angel Da?” I asked.  He nodded to Claire.

 

“No Sir, the angel, as you call her, is your Son’s wife.” Raymond said.

 

The stranger was coming around and he looked at us.  He was a young lad, maybe sixteen years old.

 

“Who are ye?  Where am I?” He asked.

 

“My name is Jenny, who are ye?” Jenny asked.

 

Da went over to the lad and put his arm around his shoulders.  “This is Stephen, he was killed by Black Jack.  Could ye help us with these animals and my daughter Janet will make ye a bed in the barn.”  Da said.

 

Raymond came over to Claire and raised his eyebrows.  “Another life wasted by that bastard.” Claire whispered back.

 

It took some doing but we got all the new animals safely put away for the night and Raymond decided to stay with Stephen in the barn so they could talk.

 

Claire and Jenny were sitting on the steps waiting for us.  They were talking and holding hands.  We got inside and Jenny had rabbit stew on the fire for us.  I dished out bowls and gave Claire a bowl first.  

 

“I love Jenny’s rabbit stew.” She said and drained the bowl.  She didn’t realize her hands were still glowing until she put the bowl down.

 

My Da was in the dining room and I could hear Ian and Jenny in the kitchen.  I got up to talk to Jenny but stopped when I saw my Da get on his knees in front of Claire and asked if she was an angel of the Lord.

 

“No, No Sir, I am not.  I am just a regular woman.”  She said.  Claire stood up and held her hands out to help him up. Her hands were still glowing when Da put his hands in hers.  Da had a few cuts on his arms and face and they healed right in front of us. Claire turned three shades of red and put her hands in her pockets.  Jenny and Ian and Raymond were at the door and saw it all.  Raymond chuckled and came in to get food for Stephen and himself.  Ian and Jenny were still standing mouth agape.

 

“Janet, Ian, sit down and close yer mouth before ye collect bugs in yer trap.” My Da said and he took a place next to Claire, not at the head of the table as he would normally.

 

“I will start our saga and give our fair couple time to catch their breath,.” Raymond said and he started the story of who he was and what he did.  He went on to explain how he tried to make small changes and knew Black Jack was a task he had to take on. Raymond told them we’d traveled through the stones and were living safely in 1950.

 

“So, ye can travel, though stones a’mac.” Da asked me.

 

“Nay Da, this is my wife, Claire, she can travel.” I said.

 

“And take passengers which is not an easy task.” Raymond said.  Jenny gave Raymond a tray to carry the food on and added a few pieces of bread.  Raymond said goodnight and Ian helped him out the door.

 

Claire looked at me and I saw how tired she was.  “Jenny, where can we sleep?” I asked.

 

Jenny had us in our old room and Claire and I said goodnight.  Claire took three steps and got wobbly, so I picked her up and we went to bed.  Claire was asleep when I lay her on our bed.  I took her clothes off and stripped down to my shirt then got into bed and held her close.  Her bottom was lined up with my cock and she wiggled a bit then went to sleep.  I had a cockstand to wish away so I went to sleep much later.

 

We both slept soundly all night and I was the first to wake in the morning.  Claire was lightly snoring and her hair was everywhere.  I wanted to wake her with kisses but I knew she needed to sleep.  She was so beautiful.

 

I dressed quietly and went to see who was up.  I thought about seeing if I could get a few rabbits but Jenny was up and sitting at the table.

 

“Is Claire asleep?” Jenny asked.

 

“Aye.” I said.  She obviously had something on her mind so I sat down and took a bannock to eat.

“What is she?  How did she bring Da from the dead?  Did she take him from Heaven, from his rest?” Jenny asked, growing louder with each word.

 

“Nay Jenny, stop it.  You know who she is, you know what she is, there is nothing new.”  I said.

 

Jenny stood up and said, “Our Da back from the dead would say that is not true.” and Jenny left the room.

 

I had no reply.  When Raymond explained the reason for death being gone and Da being available to come back to the living it seemed logical.  Looking at it through Jenny’s eyes I understood it was less than logical.

 

I went outside with every intention of going to the barn to talk to Raymond when I saw my Da.  He was walking towards the graves and I followed him.

 

He saw my Mothers grave and he ran his hand over the top.  He bowed his head and I knew he was praying.  When he lifted his head I said, “Good morning Da.”

 

“Good morning son.  How is your angel wife?” Da asked.  I heard someone behind me and knew without looking it was Jenny.

 

“I left her sleeping.  She doesn’t enjoy the mornings, and she is not an angel, just a woman.” I said.

 

“A woman that can’t sew.” Jenny said, finally reaching me.  Jenny was looking in the distance, likely remembering when they had first established that fact and smiled.

 

“Are ye going to list the faults of the woman that saved me?” Da asked Jenny.  Jenny took a step back.

 

“Da, it is a wee joke between Claire and Jenny and Claire would laugh at it too.  She would say that she can-” I said but Jenny cut me off.

 

“Only sew skin.” Jenny finished and smiled as she looked at me.

 

“I thought my last son had died, but he lived.  I thought I died, but was left in some place worse than purgatory.  That woman saved me from staying in that mess so ye two dinna mind that I choose not to laugh at her.” Da said and turned back around to his wife’s grave.

 

I nodded to Jenny and we walked back to the house.  We didn’t talk until we got to the barn and saw Raymond and Stephen laughing.

 

“Hello Frasers!” Raymond said.  I looked up and Stephen nodded at us.  He seemed in a much better mood today.  

 

“Hallo Raymond, did ye sleep well?” I asked him and nodded back to Stephen.

 

“Oh yes, very well.  May we come in for breakfast?” Raymond replied.

 

“Yes, please.  Mrs. Crook was going to lay it out then go to the nursery.” Jenny said.  We four walked to the house and I saw that Da was making his way down the hill.

 

Raymond, Stephen, Jenny and Ian, Da and I were sitting at the table waiting for breakfast.  I thought about waking Claire but I could get her food anytime; I didna want to disturb her rest.

 

The food was passed around the table in silence.  Da kept looking at the empty place next to me but he didn’t say anything.

 

“Raymond, perhaps you could explain things a little more?” I asked.

 

“Where is Claire?” Da said loudly.

 

“I’m on my way.” I heard her say from somewhere in the house.  I stood up and went to find her.

 

When I did I crushed her to me in a hug.

 

“What was that for?  Sleeping late?” Claire asked with a smile.

 

“It is tense at the table, I’m sorry Sassenach.” I said.

 

She took a breath, “I thought it might be.  Big things have happened.”  Claire said and hugged me back.  “Let’s go, I’m hungry.” She said.

 

We went into the dining room and Stephen and Da both stood as Claire approached the table.

 

“Good morning Claire.” Ian said and Claire returned the sentiment.

 

Stephen and Da sat when Claire did and I filled her plate.  She noticed Da and Stephen staring at her. She looked at Raymond who was looking at her too and gave a little jerk of her head that I didn’t understand but Raymond did because he started speaking.

 

“I’m sure everyone has questions.  Jenny, Ian, I apologize for not telling you about the possibility of your Father coming back when I drew the portal window.  I saw your Father a few weeks ago when I went through and I realized what must’ve happened.”  Raymond started and then took a drink of milk.

 

“A few weeks ago, I thought he was only in the veil for a little while?” I asked and Claire nodded.  

 

“I… lied.  I did not want Claire to be discouraged.  Your Father has been in the veil ever since Black Jack was poisoned.  He’s been there ever since the reason for his death was gone.  Ever since Claire poisoned Black Jack.”  Raymond said.

 

“Lass, ye poisoned that bastard?” My Da asked.

 

“Yes sir.” She said.

 

“Good, good, I’m glad.” Da said and patted her hand.  “So Jamie was never flogged?” He asked Raymond.

 

“He received the first hundred.  History has recorded that you, sir, received the pardon from the Duke of Argyll and Jamie was released.”  Raymond said and waited for that to sink in.

 

Jenny and Claire both looked at me.  “I am nay a wanted man?”  I asked.

 

“Not for that, but for fighting at Culloden” Raymond said.

 

“There is nay a price on my head?” I asked again to be clear.

 

“No, but you are wanted, just as Murtagh is wanted for fighting against the English.” Raymond said.

 

“Sir, how are you feeling?” Claire asked my Da.

 

“First lass, dinna call me sir.  Ye are my new daughter so call me Da.  How many grandchildren do I have?” Da said and looked at Jenny and I.

 

“Uh, wee Jamie, Maggie, Kitty…” Jenny said.

 

“Fergus, Faith, Brianna and wee Murtagh.” I told him.  Da looked in the distance and smiled.

 

“Ye’re Mam would be so proud.” Da said.

 

“So, back to the explanation,” Raymond said and looked at me. “When history is changed and it is the reason for a person’s death, then that person is no longer dead.  If you can, it is a good idea to save them from the veil.  This is where Madonna comes in; she can get people out.”  Raymond said and took another drink of milk.  I noticed Claire and Raymond were the only ones drinking milk and smiled.

 

“That is why I am here then.  That… Randell killed me for refusing… him and if he couldn’t...offer that I would nay be killed.”  Stephen said slowly.

 

“Aye lad, I know what Randell was, in the timeline before it was changed he offered the same to me and when I refused I got another one hundred lashes.”  I told the boy.  He was so young and I was trying to make him feel more comfortable.

 

We finished breakfast and Da, Jenny and Ian went to the living room because the children were coming downstairs.  Da wanted to meet his grandchildren.  Stephen, Raymond, Claire and I went outside.

 

“I will be taking young Stephen here home now.” Raymond said and Stephen smiled.  Raymond reached into his bag and gave Claire two glass jars.  “The light colored jar is to put on meat to change the taste, and the dark is in case your Father experiences the effects of time change.” Raymond said and patted Claire’s hand.

 

“When will ye return?” I asked.

 

Raymond looked at Stephen who shrugged.  “In a few days, maybe a week.  We will see.” Raymond said and smiled.  “I will return.” He said.  He shook my hand and hugged Claire. 

Claire and I sat on the steps and saw the stable hands already had his wagon ready.  I guessed he was traveling the regular way then and waved to them as they left.

 

“Stephen looked happy to be going home.” Claire said.

 

“Do ye blame him? It is not too calm here, and he is young, I can see how he would be missing his home.  I hope his parents are still alive.” I said and Claire looked at me.

 

“I hadn’t thought of that.”  She said and looked in the distance, like she was checking.

 

“Da reprimanded Jenny and I this morning for saying ye canna sew.”  I told her and put my arm around her to draw her closer.

 

Claire snuggled into me and said, “Why? It’s the truth.”

 

“I think he may hold ye in some esteem for saving him.”  I told her and smelled her hair.

 

“Then at least he will be easier to win over than Jenny was.” She said and we both laughed.

 

Chapter 36: Shenanigins

Notes:

Yes, I wrote the last chapter and this chapter together but separated it due to the length.

I hope you enjoy it.

Side note - Does everyone remember Nayawenne?

Chapter Text

Claire POV

After lunch I gave Jenny and Ian the livestock receipts.  It appeared they were bought by Jared in France and shipped over as a gift.   It didn’t matter why they had them, just that it looked legitimate.  They had the animals, they could prove they belonged to Lallybroch, and they could eat them or bribe the redcoats.  Jamie and I were happy.

 

Brian, Ian and Jamie went to check on the livestock and I stayed with Jenny after lunch.  

 

I was desperately tired but after lunch I went to the living room and played with my nieces.  Jenny decided to try and teach me a new knit stitch and I actually caught on!  After about an hour I had a few inches of...something and was very proud of myself.

 

“Claire, ye look like ye were up all night, go lay down sister.”  Jenny said.

 

“But, I can knit this.” I said.  I was content to stay up for hours now I told myself, to knit whatever it would be.

 

“Aye, and when ye wake ye will still be able to do it.  Go on sister.” Jenny said and smiled at me.

 

I got up and walked to the door.  I looked at Jenny and said, “I’m sorry it was a surprise.  If I’d known ahead of time I would’ve told you.”  I said.

 

Jenny nodded.  “I ken.”

 

I got to our room, removed my shoes and lay on the bed.  I was asleep in seconds.

 

I was dreaming I had knit a blanket as big as Fergus’s room.  He was trying to thank me and not hurt my feelings but it was way too big.

 

I opened my eyes and almost laughed.  I missed him and his brother and sisters.  I had only spoken briefly to Violet this morning but everyone was fine and well.  I got the rock out now and listened to see if anyone was near it.

I heard a door open and close.  I thought someone picked up the rock and was carrying it but I couldn’t be sure.  Another door closed and I heard wee Murtagh saying ball over and over.

 

“Here little Muta, here is ball.” I heard Faith say and I smiled and tried not to cry.  I could imagine Faith giving her little brother a ball in her fashion and him missing it because he wasn’t coordinated enough to catch it yet.

 

“Mama, this is Faith, are ye there, it is me and the twins.” I heard and lit the rock up quickly.

 

“Faith, it’s Mama, are you alright?” I asked, a little concerned why she would have the rock alone.

 

“I’m fine Mama, but I’m lonely.  Fergus and the other boys are playing outside.” Faith said and sighed.

 

“Where are you?” I asked.

 

“I’m in the nursery, the twins just woke up.  When are ye coming home, I miss ye and Da.” Faith asked.

 

“Oh, my love as soon as we can but it will be a while still.” I said, trying to hold a tear back.  ‘Your Da and I miss you very much.”

 

“Miss Faith, where have ye gone off too?” Lily said.  She wasn’t close but I turned the rock off quickly and stood up.

 

Jamie was at the door and he gathered me in his arms as I tried and failed to not cry.

 

“Are ye alright Sassenach?” He asked as he was rubbing circles on my back.

 

“Yes, I just miss the children so much.  I need to stay busy I suppose.” I said.  I was about to tell him that I could knit a new stitch but he was quicker.

 

“Speaking of busy, we had a mean chicken that pecked a hole in Ian and I was wondering if ye could see to him.” Jamie said, still holding me.

 

I leaned back and looked at him.  “Had?” I asked.

 

“Och, aye, it’s dinner.” Jamie said and smiled.

 

I went downstairs and Jenny was waiting for me.

 

“Claire, can ye do what ye did for Da? With the light?” Jenny asked.  I looked at her.  “I sent Mrs. Crook outside with the children and the servants are all out of the house, no one will see, ye ken.”  I opened my mouth to say I would try but Jenny said, “I don’t ken how long ye will be here and what if it gets inflamed?”

 

I held her hands.  “Where is Ian?” I asked and she took me by the hands and led me to the kitchen.

 

“Dinna fash Claire, it’s only a small bite.” Ian said and I sat next to him and saw the two inch long gash that was still bleeding.  I briefly wondered if the animal that did this was safe to eat.

 

“Ian, -” I was about to tell him that I would wash it and stitch the wound when my hands lit up again.  I looked up at Ian and he was looking at his arm so I looked at it too and watched his wound heal.  It was like watching the damage in reverse.

 

I heard Jenny gasp or maybe it was me but the wound was healed and my hands were still bright. I looked at Ian and he was moving his shoulder up and down.  I tried to pull back and I desperately looked for Jamie.

“Claire” I heard Jamie say before I heard nothing else.

*****

 

“No, she has nay done this before.  It must stop, she is carrying my bairn, I willna have her exhausted like this.  In two days she has fainted twice.  It is too much.”  I heard Jamie say.  I tried to lift my head and protest but my mouth wouldn’t open and my head wouldn’t lift.

 

“Jamie, I ken alright, but Ian’s cut is healed.  His shoulder does nay pain him.” Jenny said and I wondered what the hell they were talking about.  What was wrong with Ian’s shoulder?

 

The conversation continued but I dipped back into sleep.

 

A while later my nose twitched at the wonderful smells.  My goodness I was hungry!

 

“Jamie!” I heard Jenny yell and soon I felt Jamie helping me sit up.  I was in the parlor and Jamie’s Da, Ian and Jenny were all standing around me.  Jamie was looking at me.

 

“How do ye feel mo leannan?” He asked me.

 

“Hungry.  How are you Ian?” I asked since he was looking at me.

 

“Braw lass, I am braw.” Ian said.

 

They were all still looking at me and I looked at Jamie.  “Is it time to eat?” I asked.

 

Jamie laughed and looked at Jenny who was nodding and smiling.  “Aye sister, it is whatever time ye want it to be.”

 

We were all seated at the table and I looked at the food.  No stew.  I knew I smelled Jenny’s rabbit stew from last night.

 

“Jenny, do you have any rabbit stew leftover?” I asked.  

 

“Aye, but the servants are eating that in the kitchen.” She said.

 

“May I have some?  Your stew is delicious.” I asked and I heard Jamie’s Da laugh.

 

“Aye Janet, it is good stew and I wouldn’t mind some either.”  Brian said.

 

“Mrs. Crook.” Jenny said and had Mrs. Crook trade bowls of stew for a large piece of chicken.

 

Dinner was delicious and I ate a lot.  After dinner Brian asked if I would take a walk with him.

 

“Yes sir” I replied and looked at Jamie and Jenny.  They shrugged.

 

“Da, not sir.” He replied and held out his arm.  I took his arm and we went outside and walked.

 

He didn’t say anything for a while.

 

“Tell me about yerself Claire.  Tell me about my new daughter.” He said.

 

I wondered what he would want to know about me, but I started with the basics; what was easy for me to tell.  “I’m an only child and my parents died when I was five years old.  My Uncle Lamb raised me, sorry, his name was Quentin Lambert, but Uncle Lamb to me.  He was a bit unorthodox, as an archeologist he traveled quite a bit and I learned from tutors before I went to University.”  I said and took a breath before continuing.

 

“Ye went to University?” Brian asked.

 

“Yes, in my time.  I was born in the year of our Lord nineteen hundred and eighteen.” I said and waited for that to sink in.  Brian didn’t react though.

 

“I’m glad Jamie chose an educated woman.” He said and I smiled.

And so it continued.  He asked me questions and I answered.   I asked him questions about what I knew of his history and he answered them.

 

“Claire, do ye love my Jamie?” He asked me and I stopped and looked at him.

 

“With all my heart, he and our children are everything to me.”  I said looking in his eyes.  I needed him to know I spoke the truth.

 

“Aye, good, tell me about how you realized you could travel through stones.” Brian asked and helped me over a rocky patch of ground.

 

I told him.  I told him everything.  I wanted him to know he could trust me.

 

It was dark before we started home and he stopped me while we were still under the cover of trees.

 

“Claire, stop lass.  Ye can see them sitting on the steps but they canna see ye yet.  Watch Jamie.  He loves ye too.” Brian said and smiled.  Jenny and Ian were on the steps and the children were playing in the dooryard.  Jamie was pacing back and forth.  Every few seconds he would look around for a sight of me then keep pacing.  I tried to go but Brian held onto my arm.

 

“I want to go to him, he’s worried.” I said.

 

“Just one more question.  Do ye believe in God lass?” Brian asked.  He needed to know that I wasn’t some heathen or witch I suppose.

 

I looked at him and briefly thought about the right answer that would be honest and prove my devotion to God.  Of course I believed in God, we had lots of loud talks.  Very loud.  Suddenly I knew.  I said, “Credo  in unum Deum, Patrem omnipotentem, factorem caeli et terrae, visibilium omnium et invisibilium-” I went on to recite the entire Nicene creed in latin.  While I was speaking he bowed his head as if he was praying it as I spoke.  When I finished he nodded and smiled at me.

 

“Lass, ye are educated, ye know God, ye saved two people who were strangers to ye and ye healed Ian and myself.  I am honored to call ye my daughter.  Go to him.”  Brian said and released me.  

 

I started down the hill and Jamie ran up to meet me. He swept me in his arms and I was home.

 

“Sassenach, ye two were gone so long.  Are ye alright?” He asked.

 

Brian was close enough to hear and I saw him smile but he kept walking to the house.

 

“I’m fine Jamie, take me to bed please.” I said.

 

As we were walking to the house we saw Brian sit on the steps and put his arm around Jenny.  I was glad.  I felt like I was getting too much attention.

 

We said goodnight and Jamie and I went to bed.  I felt like I was not taking care of my husband but I was so tired all we did was fall asleep again.  

 

I woke early the next day and used the chamber pot and brushed my teeth.  I looked at Jamie sleeping and was once again struck with how lucky I was to have such a handsome husband who loved me the way Jamie does.

 

I took off my shift and slowly got back into bed facing him and kissed his cheeks, his neck and his chest.

 

“Hallo Sassenach.  How do ye feel?” He asked me.

 

“I feel like I want some time with my husband.” I said.  I kissed him on the mouth and put my leg over his hip.  We didn’t get up for a while.

 

Afterwards, I lay in Jamie’s arms and tried to catch my breath.  Jamie kissed me and got up to use the chamber pot.  

 

“The rock, pass me the rock please.” I said as I heard Fergus and Murtagh.

 

I lit it quickly.  “Good morning.” I said and there was silence on the other side. I saw Jamie put his breeks on and he handed me my shift.

 

“Haloo lass, the lad and I are just having a disagreement.” Murtagh said.

 

“Can I help?” I asked.

 

“Aye, as we discussed it is time to plant.  The Puller boys are helping but I need Fergus to help too and the lad is refusing.” Murtagh said.

 

“Fergus, why are ye refusing?” Jamie asked.

 

“It’s going to be hot today and I don’t want to work in the mud.  Can’t we just buy our food?” Fergus asked.  My heart smiled to talk to him even though it was over something like this.

 

“Fergus.” I said in a disappointed voice.

 

“Lad, ye will get off yer arse and help Murtagh, and ye will do it now or I will ask him to punish ye and ye do nay want that.” Jamie said.

 

“Yes Da, yes Mam.  Here’s Faith.” Fergus said and I thought I heard him walking out of the room.

 

“Haloo Mama, Haloo Da.” I heard Faith say and my heart smiled again.

 

“Hello darling, how are you today?” I asked.

 

“I’m good but Fergus is not happy.  Violet is taking Miss Lily and I to the grocery store today and if I am good I might get ice cream.”  I smiled at her toddler way of saying things.

 

“That sounds like fun, wee Faith!  How are Brianna and wee Murtagh?”  Jamie asked.

 

“They are fine but little Muta is grumpy.  He didna  sleep good last night.” Faith said.

 

“I have some cards for ye Faith, oh are ye talking to yer parents?” I heard Violet say.

 

“Violet, how are you, how is everyone?” I asked, hoping for some information to put my mind at ease.

 

“We are fine Claire, dinna fash.  Faith had a nightmare last night and woke up her younger brother who refused to go back to sleep, but everything is fine today.  I have Lily and Flora coming in to help today and everyone is healthy dear.” Violet said.

 

“Thank you, it is good to know.  So Ben is feeling better?” I asked.

 

“Aye, he is growing very attached to his new Da too.  It means I can sleep more at night so I don’t complain.” Violet said.

 

“Thank you Violet, I have to close this now but thank you for talking to me.” I said and faintly heard her say of course.

 

I looked to Jamie to hand him the rock to put away and saw the open door behind him.  Brian was standing there and so was Jenny and Ian.

 



“Okay, we can explain this before ye think anything bad Da.” Jamie said and stood in front of Claire.

 

“Why would I think anything bad? Your Sister explained Claire can speak through the certain rocks last night, and it seems a nice talent to have.  I enjoyed hearing my other grandchildren.”  Brian said then pulled the door closed and I heard him walk down the hall.

 

Jamie got back in bed and held me to him.  I was shaking; the witch trial had come to mind and I felt scared.

 

*

 

The days passed quickly after that.  Brian told us he didn’t remember anything before he was in the veil and that satisfied Jamie and Jenny.  They had still worried I had taken their Father from heaven.

 

We were at dinner four nights later when Raymond showed back up.  He’d taken Stephen home and his parents were both alive, but he’d lost a brother at Culloden.  He told us he wanted to leave the next morning to scout the outpost he thought would be the one to infiltrate.  

 

I remembered the actual task we had and why we came back.  It was easy to forget;  I worked with Jenny in the house and Jamie worked with Brian and Ian in the fields every day and it felt so comfortable.

 

Jamie and I talked to the children morning and night and they were well and mostly happy.  Faith asked us to come home every time we talked. 

 

“When are you returning Raymond?” I asked.

 

“Likely in a week or week and a half.  I have a specific outpost in mind to ‘find’ red Jamie but I need to scout a bit.” Raymond said.

 

“Ye never did tell us what was the original reason ye came back.” Jenny pointed out.  “I’m excited by all measures to have Da back but I ken there is something else.”

 

I looked at my food; I was still eating as much as I could. I  took a breath and looked up. 

 

 “I’ve got this Sassenach.”  Jamie said.  

 

“Ian.” Jamie said, unable to say more so he took a drink.  “The redcoats take Ian to the tollbooth to try to get ye to tell them where I am hiding.” He paused and took another drink so I took it from there.

 

“While you are at the tollbooth you catch a wasting sickness.  You are fine for a while, then you suffer through it for twelve years before you die.  We thought if Jamie is almost captured, or captured at a remote place then escapes he can let them know Lallybroch is happy under British law and he never plans to return here.  Then Ian will never be taken to the tollbooth.” I said and took a sip of my juice flask.

 

There was quiet for a minute, then Jenny, astute as ever, said, “What else?”

 

“Our son dies.” Jamie said and Ian stood up.

 

“Jamie man are ye daft?  I will go to the tollbooth a hundred times to keep a bairn alive!” Ian said and Jenny stood with him looking unsure.  She walked over to Claire.

 

“Ye wouldna leave yer bairns without a plan.  Ye are a mother, like me and I would see to what's right but ye protect yer bairns.”  Jenny said.

 

I told everyone about our Grandson from the future coming with the medications.  Then I pulled out the stone and told everyone that Fergus had my stone and we talked to our people at home twice a day.  “I feel that I would know if something was wrong because Murtagh and Violet promised to tell us right away if one of the children got sick.” I said.

 

“Murtagh, our Murtagh?” Brian asked, looking at Jamie.

 

“Aye Da, my Godfather.  He has been at my side all these years as he promised and he and his wife are taking care of our bairns so we can try to save Ian.” Jamie said.

 

“I dinna need saving, I will go to the tollbooth to save yer bairn Jamie.” Ian said, sounding a little upset.

 

Jamie just held my hand for a minute and nothing else was said.  

 

When we were finished Raymond said, “Thank ye for a wonderful meal.  Since I am leaving early tomorrow I thought I would just sleep in the barn again.”

 

“Nay, please, we have rooms, I will show you to one.” Jenny said and Raymond followed her.

 

We finished dinner and decided to go through the bags.   Jenny was very happy with the fabric and everyone loved Lily’s banana bread.  I dumped out the bag of medications and started explaining everything to Jenny and she took notes.  We’d given our gifts from our time and Jenny was happy with more money.  Construction on the extra rooms had to be halted for materials and now it could be restarted.  Da and Ian loved the peanut butter.

 

“Sister, I am truly glad ye are Jamie’s wife.” Jenny said, “But I am also glad ye can knit and sew so yer only work isna only that of the fairies and healing.” Jenny finished and we both laughed.

 

I took her hand, “I have missed you.” I said quietly and she squeezed my hand.

 

We all went to Jenny and Ian’s bedroom since it was the largest when it was time to talk to the rest of our family in 1950.

 

“Mere, how are you and Da? Can we make more cows in the dooryard jokes?” Fergus said and laughed.

 

‘Why is there a French lad calling you Mother?” Brian said.

 

“Who is that?  Does someone question that you are my parents?” Fergus said, instantly riled up.

 

“Aye, calm down lad, yer a child of my heart, it is your Grandfather.  We told him about you but forgot to tell him you were French.” Jamie said.

 

“My Grandfather? Ye mean Muta” Faith said speaking up.  Brian’s eyes looked watery at her voice.  

“Nay lass, my Da, not my Godfather.” Jamie said.

 

“Well, I forgive him.  My family is the best thing about me, being French is only the second best thing.”  Fergus said with an exaggerated French lilt.

 

I asked him about planting and I guess he found peace with it because he was laughing about Murtagh.   

 

“Will Lewis stay?”  Faith asked.

 

“That is up to him Faith dear, he may have places he wants to go.” I replied.

 

“I don’t want him to go.” She replied.

 

“I know, we will see.” I said and she went to get Murtagh.

 

Fergus told us about two books he wanted to order and I told him we would ask Murtagh or Violet to order them for him when they next went into town.

 

Faith had come back to Fergus’s room without Murtagh so Fergus had to go.

 

“I'll get him.”  Fergus said and while he was gone Faith sang her ABC’s for us and we told her how well she was doing.

 

“Aye, I’m here, is everything alright?”  Murtagh said.

 

Before I could tell him yes Brian spoke up.  “Murtagh FitzGibbons Fraser!” Brian said and started laughing.

 

“Aye, who is that, it sounds like... lass who is that?” Murtagh asked.

 

“Brian Robert David Fraser! Murtagh how are ye?” Brian said laughing.

“Claire, Jamie, is Brian alive?” Murtagh asked.

 

“Aye, but it will take longer to explain than we have time for, Claire is looking pale.”  Jamie said.  Jamie made sure that everyone was fine, asked Murtagh to order Fergus’s books when he could, then goodbyes were passed.  Then I fainted.

 

I woke up to anxious faces around the bed.  “I’m sorry.” I said.

 

Jamie picked me up and took me to bed.

 

“Claire, ye are mo cridhe, please take better care of yourself.”  Jamie said and cradled my head.  He touched his forehead to mine and I sighed trying to relax myself.  All too soon I was asleep.

 

*****

Jamie’s POV

 

Claire fell asleep and I ushered everyone out of our room that had followed me.  I walked out with them but I wasn’t going far.

 

“Jenny, Ian, Da good night.  I am going to bed with Claire.” I said.

 

Jenny and Ian gave their goodbyes and left but Da lingered.  “It is early yet.  We could have a dram and ye could tell me how ye met yer wife.”  He said.

 

“Another time Da, sorry but I nay want to leave her alone long.” I told him and he smiled at me.

 

“So ye found a true love aye?” He asked me.

 

I looked him right in the eyes so he knew how serious I felt.  “Aye Da, she is my heart.”  Then I went back to our room.

 

I slipped everything off but my shirt then tried to undress Claire a bit but she woke up and wanted everything off.  I lay next to her on my side and she nuzzled in close to me.  I could not help but to rise.  She wiggled that beautiful arse right up on me and kept trying to get closer to me.  She felt how hard I was and turned over to kiss me.

“Yes Jamie, fast and hard.” Claire said as she was nibbling my bottom lip.  

“Sassenach, are ye sure, ye just fainted.” I asked.  Of course I wanted her but I wouldn’t hurt my wife.  

“That was my fault, I held the rock open too long.  I am feeling fine now.”  She said and as if to prove it she climbed on top of me.

 

********

I was awake before Claire and I went to the kitchen to see Jenny and the children eating.  Wee Maggie and Kitty were eating and getting everything messy.  

 

“Let me help.” I said and started to feed the girls.

 

“Thank ye brother, I feel like I never have a minute of peace.  But I guess ye know about that eh?  How many bairns at your Lallybroch then?” Jenny asked.

 

“There is our Fergus, he is twelve though so he’s a lad now.  Faith is three, the twins are one and a half.  Those are mine.  Murtagh and Violet adopted a wee bairn name of Benjamin and we call him Ben.  We also adopted three older lads, but it was more to get them out of an orphanage and get us some help.  Murtagh said the older lads are getting along well.” I told her.

 

“What do ye mean by his Lallybroch?” Da said.  

 

Jenny looked up. “I just mean, in the time he’s in, same building, different time.” Jenny said, then started to cut a potato.

 

“Can I visit with ye son?  Meet my other Grandchildren?” Da asked.

 

“Ah, I think so, I will have to talk to Claire because she is the one that can take people through the stones.  It is hard to travel, and even she can only go at certain times of the year so ye would have to stay with us for some months.” I told him.

 

“That is fine.  Jenny and Ian are managing very well here and they didna need me.” Da said.

 

“Da, we need ye very much!” Jenny said.

 

Da went to Jenny and put his arms around her.  “Mo nighean, ye have always been strong and ye were when ye and yer man had to do the running of Lallybroch.”  Da let her go and I saw tears in Jenny’s eyes.

 

“I will have weeks here?” Da asked me, holding Jenny’s hand.

“Aye, we canna travel until the summer solstice.  After that I think it is Samhain, then Yule.”  I said.  I wondered what Claire would think about taking him.

 

“That will do, that will do fine.  Ye never know what will happen tomorrow, I want to get to know all my grandchildren.”  Da said and he walked into the other room following wee Jamie.

************

 

A week and a half passed by quickly.  I briefly wondered if we’d tampered with the speed of time by traveling through it but dismissed the idea as fancy.  We missed the children desperately but talking to them twice a day helped.

 

Claire had to give Raymond back his rock before he left but we had Jenny’s to talk to the children.  Da thought about going with us when Raymond came back from his scouting mission but I talked him into staying to be with Jenny and her family.  

 

Raymond had finally returned from his scouting mission late one night and told us we must travel at first light.  That night was a short one; Claire slept fitfully and I tried to comfort her.

 

Goodbye’s were harder this time, since Da was there.  I was used to it with Jenny and Ian.  When Claire hugged Jenny I saw her wipe a tear away when Claire turned.

 

Raymond rode ahead of us but Claire and I were soon ready.  

 

Claire made her goodbyes and when she was ready, I sat her on Donas and my Father stepped up.

 

“Lad, ye canna put my new daughter on that beast.  Get her a different horse.” Da said.

 

“Da, we ride together.”  I told him.

 

“We have plenty of horses, take two.” Da said.

 

I hugged him.  “We take one because it’s easier and the lass hardly weighs anything.”  I told him and he sighed.

 

“Alright, ye have yer own way of doing things, ye are a man grown.” Da said and hugged me back.

 

After my goodbyes were said I got up on Donas and we left the dooryard.  Jenny, Ian, Da and wee Jamie were still on the steps waving.

 

“Janet, will they be alright?” Da asked.

 

“Aye Da, dinna fash.  We ken Claire has a bit of a fairy about her. She will see him safe.  They will be back in a few weeks.” Jenny said.

 

Donas turned from the dooryard and they were out of view.

 

******

I was sad when we left, kind of like stepping down into the muck.  We were in our house with my family and my Da was back then we are traveling by horseback and Claire is with bairn so I am worried. 

 

Claire relaxed into me and I put my face in her hair a few times.  She always smelled wonderful.  Eventually she fell asleep and I was glad for her to get some more rest.  It was getting late and I wanted to get Claire off the horse to eat.  Before I could do anything about it Raymond appeared and told us to get off the road now.  So I held Claire tighter and we went as he dismounted, followed us for a minute then turned around and went back to the road.  I realized he was hiding the trail we’d left.

 

Claire and I hid in the underbrush and we dismounted letting Donas graze.  We heard horses coming and we ducked down lower.

 

“You there! State your name and business.” One of the redcoats bellowed.

 

Raymond threw his hands up and looked down.  “I am Raymond Tyree, from France.” The leader looked at what seemed like the second in charge.

 

They proceeded to ask Raymond about where certain buildings were located in France and apparently the redcoats were satisfied because they rode on.  It was a group of four.

 

Claire and I let out the breath we were holding in. “Hey, about what ye said to yer Da before we left, I’m very substantial.” She said and I smiled at her.  She was such a brave wee thing.

 

We decided to move on another two miles then camp for the night.  Claire ate another plate of meat that Raymond had kept miraculously cold on the trip.  Claire cut up some fruit and we had raspberries and apples along with a plate of meat.  This would likely be very similar to all our meals.

 

I got our little tent up and covered the canvas with branches to hide it.  Claire and I crawled into bed and had a short talk with Violet since the boys were all still in the barn building something.  Everyone was still well and we went to sleep happy.

 

I woke a few hours later to the horses sounding upset.  I slipped away from Claire and put my boots on.  When I emerged from the tent I had my dirk in one hand and my pistol in the other. 

 

“Don’t shoot, I’m sorry but we are starvin ye see!” A small dirty man was going through the bags on the horses.  I put my pistol down but not my dirk even though I noticed he didn’t seem to have one.

 

“Are ye alone?” I asked him.

 

“My wife and bairns are just over the ridge.  They canna see if ye are going to kill me.” He said and I smirked.  The Scots must truly be downtrodden to give an easy way to commit murder.

 

“I’m nay going to kill ye.  Here, take these bannocks and come back in the morning for breakfast.” I told him.  After the man thanked me ten times he left and I got back in the tent and lay next to Claire.  Shockingly, she was still asleep.

******

Claire’s POV

 

I woke up and stretched next to Jamie.  He was such a joy to wake up to: warm, and always ready to satisfy me.  But we were in a tent and I could hear movement outside so we couldn’t enjoy each other.  

 

I woke Jamie with a kiss, that he intensified until he remembered where we were.  “Ach, I have to get up, there was a man trying to steal our food for his family and I invited them for breakfast.”  Jamie said and slipped his breeks and boots on.

 

“Sassenach,” He said and put the rock on my lap,” See if ye can get some ham or something from home.”  Then he kissed me and was out of the tent speaking loudly to cover for me talking to people from our time.

 

Violet was changing Fergus’s sheets thankfully and she was able to give me bacon, a dozen eggs, and breakfast bread.

 

After I got dressed and came out with breakfast I saw the little family.  They gasped when they saw what was in my hands.

 

“Ach, I left the food bag in the tent, thank ye.” Jamie said and took the food from me.  

 

I went back in the tent to get my boots but I heard Violet and Murtagh speaking about sending me another flask of juice.  I lit the rock back up and reached through to get the juice, then whispered thanks and gave the thumbs up sign.

 

Our visitors were very hungry and ate everything they were offered.  We gave them the breakfast bread and they were gone.

 

“We need to pack up and go now.” Raymond whispered to us and we did.  We were on our way to the road less than five minutes later.

 

It took us five long days to reach the outpost Raymond had spoken about.  It was on the border between the lowlands and the highlands but not on a main road.  

 

When we arrived and were ready Raymond and I watched the outpost in plain sight but Jamie had to stay hidden just in case.  They seemed very relaxed; like their presence there was just a courtesy.  It was also rather small; it likely kept six people at the most.  There was a window on each side and I didn’t think there was even a cell.  It was just too small.

 

Raymond and Jamie were both dressed well in outfits of a gentleman.  I had an overlaced dress that I didn’t care for but it helped me to play the character.  

 

It seemed crowded with people walking around and at first I thought it was a mistake.  But there was nothing for the redcoats to do but socialize.  There were only two men that seemed on guard there and they frequently left the small outpost unguarded.

 

As soon as it got dark one of the men left his post unguarded to go drink with a woman.  Raymond was right, this was the place.

 

“Are you positive you can get him out?” I asked before I took part in this escapade.

 

Raymond looked at me and said, “Absolutely.”

 

I left Raymond's side and went to talk to Jamie.  He agreed if we were going to do this, it was the right time and the right place.

 

I took his arm and we walked past Raymond who was still sitting where I left him.  When we walked by he got up.

 

We walked right by the red coat and when Jamie looked up he was spotted.

 

“Hold on right there!”  The red coat yelled.  I acted bewildered.  It was part of the plan.

 

“What do ye want ye lobster back?” Jamie said in his most disrespectful voice.  The redcoat grabbed Jamie’s wrists and Jamie allowed it.  The red coat looked at the broad sheets hung all over the little outpost building.

 

“There you are, you are red Jamie of Lallybroch.  Shit I’ve caught red Jamie.” The red coat said.  

 

The other red coat came up and I grew worried.  One was easier than two.

 

“Look here, I just caught red Jamie.”  The other red coat was a little drunk but he read the broadsheet and looked at Jamie.  The few people around scattered at the commotion.

 

“Why aint you at home, at the Lallybroch?  It says here you are likely at home.” The drunk red coat said.

 

This was our chance! Could Jamie say bad things about our home to save Ian?

 

“Home? What home, Lallybroch?” Jamie almost yelled.  Then he spit on the ground.  “There is nothing there but a lot of traitors, all English lovers there, God save the king and everything.  I would never go back to Lallybroch, it is tainted with redcoat lovers!” Jamie yelled and broke free and took off.

 

They finally noticed me.  “Mam, are you unharmed by the criminal?” The drunk one asked me.

 

“Yes, thankfully! I’m so glad you fellows are here to save us from criminals like that!” I used the fan Raymond had provided me and looked down to seem demure.  The drunk one then took off after Jamie.

 

Raymond came up and pretended I was his daughter so he could take me.  They couldn’t wait to issue the order for me to stay away from those with a Scottish accent.

 

“What are you going to do about that man? He almost absconded with my daughter?!” Raymond sounded outraged.

 

The drunk redcoat had chased Jamie into the bushes and the sober one was talking to us.

 

“Where did he say he was going?” He asked me.

 

“To London, he said he was going to make some money then get on a boat to go somewhere warm.” I said in my most rescued lass voice.  “What are you going to do?” I asked breathily.

 

“Well Mam, I am writing up a report of this sighting and the criminals' words to send to our superiors with the criminal when he is brought back.” The young man said.  I almost felt sorry for the young man.

 

“May I take my daughter or do you need us for anything else?” Raymond asked like an entitled gentleman.

 

“No, I don’t need you for anything, please get yourself to safety.” The man said and we left.

 

It was finished, I kept thinking that as I walked away surprised at how easy it was to accomplish. All the time at Lallybroch, five days to get here and it was over in ten minutes.  As long as Jamie didn’t get caught or hurt.   Perhaps Raymond was thinking the same because he said quietly, “Just keep walking, don’t look around.”

 

The plan was to go to the tavern where Raymond and I had rooms. I was to go to my room and change my clothes and wait until midnight.  Then I was going to sneak out the window and get into our wagon where Jamie would be waiting under the blankets.  Raymond was going to get out by going outside for a stroll and a smoke.  He smiled when he told us that part of the plan; like he was looking forward to a stroll and a smoke.

 

We got to the tavern and Raymond had a tray sent to my room but he ate at the bar.  Waiting was very difficult because I didn’t know if Jamie was safe or not.  After I got my dinner tray I took out the rock and tried to talk to Murtagh.  I told him the plan and he told me we were mad.  But the children were safe and well.  Faith had sneezed a lot that day and Violet said she might have allergies because although she’d checked multiple times she did not have a fever.

 

I heard the noise from the tavern below get less and I checked my watch that I kept hidden.  It was eleven.  I changed my clothes and walked around the room a bit.  I had my little bag ready to go and finally it was almost midnight.

 

I got out the window and walked to the edge of the roof.  There was the ladder Raymond had promised me and I went down it.

 

“Wonderful Claire!” Raymond said.  We both went further down the alley to our wagon and Raymond went to hitch the horses back up.

 

I pulled back the blanket in the wagon.  Jamie wasn’t there.

Chapter 37: Jamie is alright.

Notes:

Hello Readers,

I hope everyone had happy and safe holidays!

I am getting a little far from canon, but Nayawenne was a character that had more potential. I hope you agree.

Chapter Text

I looked around wildly.  Where was Jamie?  I checked the bench seat but I didn’t see him anywhere.  Raymond had the horses hitched and came back to me.

 

“Are you ready Madonna?” He asked.

 

“No, Jamie isn’t here.” I said.

 

“What?” Raymond asked and looked through the back of the wagon, as if I could miss a Scot that was over six foot tall.

 

I turned and looked around.  Could he have been caught?  No, one man was chasing him, one drunk man, surely he got away, didn’t he?

 

“Raymond, you have to go thank the redcoats.” I said.

 

“Thank them?!  For being bloodthirsty-” Raymond started but I cut him off.

 

“So you can see if they have Jamie, you have to go find out.  What bloody bird sings at midnight?” I said getting frustrated as I tried to whisper over the noise. 

 

Bird.

 

Bird calls.

 

Jamie.

 

“No, I’m wrong, wait here.” I said then I started to walk to the end of the ally. 

 

I looked across the street where the bird calls were coming from. I just looked and tried to calm myself.  There he was!  I saw the outline of Jamie’s face coming through a bush across the street and I saw he was bloody.  In an instant my damn hands lit up and I tried to hide them before anyone saw but I was too late.

 

“You there, what was that light? It was very bright.” One of a pair of redcoats said as they stood in front of the tavern.

 

“What?  I saw no light.” I said in reply.

 

“It’s there, in your pocket, give over girl.” One of the redcoats said and just then Raymond came tearing down the alley and essentially separated the redcoats from me since they were on the other side of the wagon.

 

“Ugh, servants, they never obey do they?  Get in, girl.”  Raymond said, complaining to the redcoats.  I got in the wagon and made my way towards the front with my head down to look the part.  Luckily drink or women were more important as the redcoats went into the tavern.

 

“He’s across the street and in the bushes.” I whispered to Raymond.  He pulled the wagon to a stop in front of the bushes and got out to examine a wheel.  I felt the thud of Jamie’s weight  in the back of the wagon.

 

Raymond got back in and we set off again.  It was all I could do to sit still until we were well away from the little village.  Finally Raymond pulled over and got out.  I got out and went to Jamie; my hands were still bright.

 

“Where are you hurt?” I asked Jamie, pulling the blanket off him.

 

“I’m fine, is it really safe so close?” Jamie said sitting up warily.

 

“Yes, even if it is not it is dark so let Madonna fix your injuries so you may ride.” Raymond said.

 

I was trying to find the wound on Jamie’s face and he sat still.  “I only fell in some bushes, no bullet wounds or stabbings.” Jamie said and Claire put her hands on his face and his small cuts and abrasions faded and were gone.  Jamie sighed.

“It was but scratches and I would rather ye keep the energy it must take from ye to heal Sassenach.” Jamie said and took my hands from his face.

 

“Well, I would rather not have a husband that is bleeding.” I said.

 

“James, your horse is saddled, you need to ride so we can move out of here.” Raymond said and Jamie was on his saddle in a few steps.

 

“Why were there extra redcoats?” I asked Raymond.  He had assured us of only two on duty.

 

“A messenger was sent to let them know I was in the area.  They arrived but apparently didn’t think I was all that important.” Jamie said and started to ride.

 

I decided to stay in the wagon.  It was about half full with ale and wine and other household needs but I could also stretch out.  And think.  

 

I should’ve been thinking about how close Jamie had just been to getting caught.  I wasn’t; I was thinking about the witch trial.  Would I end up at another witch trial when I couldn’t control light that came from my hands?  Would my children, my family be ostracized in the twentieth century when someone saw my hands light up.

 

Fergus attended a very good school and they could easily  not accept the child of the fairy woman who had light coming from her hands.  I could lose Flora and Lily.  Jamie and Murtagh could lose their students and they earned quite a bit of money from teaching sword fighting.  

 

I needed to do something but I didn’t know what.

******

 

We rode for hours until out of nowhere Ahote showed up on the side of the road on a horse.

He bowed slightly to Raymond and Raymond bowed back.  Then he rode with us until almost sunrise when we camped off the rode.

 

“Hello Frasers, how are you?” Ahote asked as he helped me out of the wagon and Jamie was just catching up to us.

 

“Fine, I didn’t know you-” I was going to say I didn’t know he was traveling to this time but my hand lit up as he grasped it.  He gasped slightly.

 

“Thank you, that was-” Was all I heard Ahote say before I fainted.

 

I awoke on a pallet by a small fire alone.  I opened my eyes and looked at the fire.  Raymond and Ahote were right behind me and I heard their conversation.

 

“Claire wasn’t supposed to heal until she was much older, Nayawenne said her full power would come when her hair is white.  What happened?” Ahote asked.

 

“I haven’t the slightest idea.  I had thought it might be pulling Brian out but it happened on her first passage, before Brian.  I am concerned this might endanger the child.” Raymond said.

 

I closed my eyes and worried for my unborn child.  

 

Jamie came back with a rabbit and put it to cook on the fire.  I pretended to ‘wake’ and looked at Jamie.

 

“Sassenach, are ye alright?” Jamie asked me.

 

“Yes, I’m fine, just hungry.” I said and sat on my pallet.  Jamie brought me a few pieces of beef jerky we brought from our time and a bannock from Jenny and I sat quietly and ate them.  

When I was finished I stood and walked to the wagon.  After I woke Raymond and Ahote had migrated to the wagon to talk so they wouldn’t be overheard.

 

“Who is Nayawenne?” I asked and they both went silent.

 

“Look, I have light coming from my hands that heals and I can’t control it.  I need answers.  My family might suffer because of this and I won’t have it.  If we make it through our time in the twentieth century what happens when we come back?  Another witch trial for me?  I don’t think I will be as lucky as I was in the last one, maybe they’ll actually burn me this time.. Talk to me.” I was frustrated and I got louder as I spoke.  I felt Jamie take my hand from behind.

 

“Do ye two know something to help Claire?” Jamie asked.  When they didn’t answer Jamie said, “Claire and I will be by the fire.”  and he pulled me to the fire with him.  I looked back at Raymond and Ahote and they were shrugging at each other.

 

“Sassenach, it will be alright.  We will figure this out.” Jamie said and I put my head on his shoulder.  I wanted to believe him, but of all the problems we faced nothing was like this one.  

 

Finally, Raymond and Ahote came to the fire and sat down.

 

“Madonna, we don’t want to hide things, merely to keep information about the future as much a secret as it can be kept.  But you’re right, you need to know some things.” Raymond said.

 

“Nayawenne is a medicine woman, a wise woman, of the Tuscarora.  In a timeline we’ve seen you meet her in the colonies, in North Carolina in about twenty years.  She says that you will achieve your full power when your hair is white.  She dreams of you.” Ahote told her and Jamie.

 

There was silence for a few moments.  “I would like to speak to Nayawenne.” I said and no one replied.

 

“Madonna, she is not a traveler.  I don’t know if she’s had her dreams yet to impart the wisdom I understand you want.” Raymond said.

 

“There is a way.” Ahote said quietly.

 

“No, there is not. Madonna is with child.” Raymond said.

 

“I am right here, let me decide for myself.” I said.

 

“Claire,” Jamie said and I looked at him in surprise.  It was so rare I heard him say my first name.  “Maybe we wait on this until after our bairn is born.” He rubbed my arm.

 

“Maybe my hands glow when I am in the hospital giving birth.  Maybe we try a home birth and the midwife sees my hands glow.  Maybe they won’t let Fergus back into school, or Faith back into preschool.  Maybe people cross the street to get away from us when we take a walk in Inverness.  Maybe the government decides something is off and decides to take me away.” I said and was in tears by the end.

 

Jamie had his arms around me and was telling me that he wouldn’t allow any of those things.  I knew he would try, but how could he keep us safe when my hands were glowing and healing?

*****

 

The other four days it took to get to Lallybroch passed quickly.  I rode with Jamie or in the back of the wagon to sleep.  I reminded myself we’d done a good thing and now Ian wouldn’t have to suffer.  I was glad we’d done what we could to save him from that fate; for a man like Ian to suffer with an illness for twelve years seemed so cruel.

 

I spoke with our family in 1950 as much as possible.  The children all had colds but they were managing well.  On the last morning before we were to reach Lallybroch I woke to hear someone yelling my name.

 

“What is it?” Jamie said.  I’d jumped up and he’d woken and grabbed his dirk.

 

“Someone is yelling for me.” I said softly as I tried to figure out the voice.  “Murtagh!” I practically yelled and pulled out the rock from my bag and lit it quickly.

 

“Murtagh, I’m here, what’s the matter?” I said.

 

“Ach, lass, thank ye God.  It’s the wee lassie, Faith, a fever has her.” Murtagh said with obvious distraught.

 

“Let me, Claire, Faith is breathing poorly and her fever is high, I am taking her to the hospital.  Wee Murtagh has a fever also, but it is nay so high and Charlie wants a few more hours to try to manage it.  What say you?” Violet asked.  “What do you want us to do?”

 

My response was automatic.  “Put the rock near Faith’s chest, I am going to reach through it.” I said and gave them a few seconds, then reached through the rock and laid my hands on Faith’s chest.  I knew they were glowing even though my eyes were closed.

 

I heard her cough and she was spitting up.  I knew what she was spitting up, it was the infection leaving her. 

 

“Mamma?” I heard Faith say.

 

“Hello my dear, how are you?” I asked.

 

“I’m alright, are ye coming home to play with me?”  She said and I heard her stand up and Murtagh was praying to a saint.

 

“Not just yet my darling, but soon.” I said.

 

“Muta, I’m hungry.  Can ye make me a grilled cheese again?” Faith asked.

 

“Aye ye wee lass, anything ye want.” Murtagh said and I was touched at the emotion in his voice.

 

“Now wee Murtagh please.” I said, feeling my energy wane.

 

We repeated the process with him.

 

“Claire, what is going on?” Violet asked.

 

“I will explain it to you when we get home.” I said.  “I have to close this now.”  I closed the rock and went immediately back to sleep.

 

I slept for about an hour and was listening to the rock as soon as I woke.  I heard pages turning, lit the rock and whispered, “Fergus?”

 

“Mere! Hi, how are you?” He said and I did my best not to tear up.  

 

“I’m fine, how are you?  How is Faith?” I asked.

 

“I’m fine, I’m looking through my reading packet from school and I’m going to need so many books.” Fergus said almost defeatedly.

 

“I will speak to Murtagh and you can have any book you want mo’mac, How is Faith and wee Murtagh?” Jamie asked.

 

“They are doing better, we’ve all had colds and Murtagh is making snot jokes.  I will take you to Murtagh and Violet, no one else is in the house.” Fergus said and he carried the rock to the kitchen.

 

“Fergus wash up please, I want you to eat some more.” I heard Violet say.

 

“Aye Grandmere, Mere and Da wanted to speak with you.” Fergus said.  I think he handed the rock to Violet and she went to a quieter area.

 

“Claire, I dinna know what ye did, but Faith and wee Murtagh are doing much better.” Violet said.

 

“Did the fevers break completely?” I asked.

 

“Aye, neither has a fever.  Brianna has a runny nose but no fever.  Fergus is fine, that is a strong lad.  Murtagh has a fever.” She said.

 

“Dinna bother the lass, I’ll bide.” Murtagh said in the distance.

 

“Murtagh, we thank ye for caring for our bairns.” Jamie said and made a motion to me to shake hands.  It took me a few seconds before I picked up on it.  Then I put a hand through the rock and it was glowing.  Murtagh shook my hand; I knew it was Murtagh from the calluses.  

 

“This is strange, a hand coming fr-” He stopped and coughed.

 

I pulled my hand out and let the rock go dim and my head fell back on our makeshift pillow.  Jamie kissed me, my lips, my cheeks, my neck.

 

“I dinna know how to thank ye Claire, first ye give me bairns and then ye heal them and Murtagh.” Jamie said and kissed my forehead.

 

“I have to check back with Murtagh.” I said, thinking logically and reached to hold Jamie’s hand.

 

I did check back after a few minutes and Murtagh’s fever had broken also.  By the time we arrived at Lallybroch later that day I was sure that everyone in 1950 was fever free and feeling better.

 

I was riding with Jamie and I was asleep in the saddle when we arrived.





***Jamie’s POV***

 

I thought about waking my Sassenach as we got closer to home so I squeezed her hand and rubbed her leg but she didna want to wake.  I knew she was exhausted holding the rock open so often today as she healed our bairns and Murtagh.  I held her close and wondered what we were going to do about her hands.

 

I knew she was afraid and I hoped she didna do anything drastic but if Claire is anything, she is practical.  I didna worry too much.

 

I couldna imagine anyone calling her a witch after she might heal their bairn or their loved ones.  I couldna imagine being anything but grateful, of course I didna think that wicked bitch Laoghaire MacKenzie would do as she did either.  Maybe because Claire is more practical she can truly see people and all their wicked intentions.

 

I didna ken.  All I ken is that she is my Sassenach and we will work it out together as we do everything.  I didna want our win to be overshadowed - Ian would not be imprisoned because of me and my choices.  He would be safe from the disease that would cause him to suffer for years.  I was very happy about that.  I had done what I could to keep them safe.  I  could hardly wait to see my Da again and describe what happened.

 

We went around a small bend in the road and I saw Lallybroch.

 

We entered the dooryard well before the wagon to see Mrs. Crook hanging laundry with wee Jamie running around.  As soon as she saw Claire and I, surprise showed on her face and she shook her head no and waved at me to get back.  I looked around and saw horses.  I turned and caught Ahote.

 

“Someone is there. Mrs. Crook waved at me to go, I’m taking Claire to the woods.” I told Ahote.

 

“Here, take the food bag.  Raymond and I will go on in case they’ve heard us.  We aren’t on any broadsheets that I know of anyway.”  Ahote said.

 

I took the food bag and nodded to Ahote, then I took to the trees so I wouldn’t be seen.  We rode through the woods for about an hour and I stopped by a creek.  I was able to wake Claire and we dismounted.

 

I sat her down and we ate a bit.  I could see her thinking madly away.

 

“Where are we?  Where is Raymond? Or Ahote?” She asked.

 

“We were almost in the dooryard when Mrs. Crook waved me away.  I didna ken who was there but it may be redcoats.  Ahote and Raymond rode on, they will pass news that we are alright.”  I told her and she nodded and looked around.

 

“This is beautiful.  I wonder what it looks like in 1950.” She asked.

 

“It is still beautiful Sassenach.  We own the land and it is still like this.  I’m so glad to have this finished, to know Ian willna suffer for my crimes.” I told her hoping to get a smile.

 

She gave me half a smile.  “So am I, I’m glad Ian will be safe and I will be glad when we can go home to the children.” she said and then gave a real smile.  

A moment passed and the smile faded. “Do you want to come home?” She asked.

 

“Of course I want to come home, I want to get back to our life with our family.” I said and kissed her.

 

“No, I mean you aren’t wanted for murder anymore, just being a Jacobite.  Do you want to come back to your time?” Claire asked me.

 

I looked at her and I didn’t have an exact answer.  I sat next to my wife and looked at the creek.  “Yes and no.  Yes because this is my time and I am most comfortable here but no because of the advantages of your time.  Fergus is learning so much, and I know you are working with Faith and the twins.  The medical care is so much better, and that is a big concern as ye are having another bairn.” I said and kissed her again.  She tasted like sunshine and she smelled of summer.  She got up and sat herself in my lap.

“We willna be there forever, just a few more years.  I would vote to stick to the plan and stay for the four years.  What say ye Sassenach?” I asked her.  She was making circles on my chest and kissing my neck.

 

“I agree.  We will be there only a few more years.  It will give the children an educated start and the medicine is better.  What do you think Murtagh will vote?” She asked me.  My cock was hard as she kissed my neck and put her hand behind my head to bring it down to her for a kiss.

 

I kissed her and lifted her skirts to hold that beautiful arse.  “I think he will vote to stay too, remember Violet isna traveling back with us.” I said as I watched her breathing heavy.

 

I rubbed her legs and she gave that little whimpering sound that I love.  “Jamie, now.” She said and I pulled my breeks down and entered her.  She gasped at the joining but I felt like I was coming home.  She was warm and slick and I could’ve come as soon as I entered her.  She was on top and set a slow, pained pace but I saw it was only because she was tired.  I found that little bud above the entrance to her honeypot and I rubbed gently at first,  She gasped and rode me harder so I rubbed her harder.  I knew she was ready so I held her waist with my other hand. It was a beautiful finish.

 

We sat curled together for a while until she fell asleep.  I took a rag and wiped my seed from her thigh, then kissed her forehead.

 

I took care of my ‘beast’ as Da had called him and set our tent up for the night.  I covered it with sticks and branches like I had every night and  took our things into the tent.  I laid our bedroll out and got it ready for Claire, then I carried her into the tent.  She woke up to see where we were going but closed her eyes almost immediately.

 

I lay next to her but I didna sleep. I wondered who was at Lallybroch and how it was going.  After a while she stirred, grabbed my hand and went back to sleep.

 

She woke later and we ate the rest of the jerky and dried pineapples. This wasna my favorite fruit but Claire enjoyed it so I got a few down.  After we ate she fell asleep again, and as it was dark I slept also.

 

I woke in the wee hours to Claire crying and I held her close.  “Sassenach, what is it?” I asked.

 

“My hands, the light, the healing, what are we going to do?  I can’t make our family suffer because of me.” She said and cried some more.

 

“Dinna weep mo nighean donn, we will figure this out.  I don’t know how right now but dinna fash, we will get an answer.”  I said and she nodded and tried to stop weeping.  I held her until she hiccupped and fell back asleep.

 

In the morning we broke our fast and after so much sleep it looked like Claire felt better so I was glad.  We ate and spoke to Murtagh, Violet and Fergus.  They were all doing much better and no one had a fever.  Violet said our grandson was a little odd but didn’t know what was bothering him.

 

We packed up and decided to try and go home again.  Claire was asleep again when we arrived but Jenny was sitting on the steps watching her bairns play.

 

“Jamie, Claire - come on, it’s safe.”  Jenny said and yelled that we were back.

 

I smiled and woke Claire.

Chapter 38: A Scolding

Notes:

Hello!
Thank you to all my wonderful readers and thank you to Diana Gabaldon for these characters.

Diana Gabaldon owns all right to Outlander.

Chapter Text

We dismounted and Jenny swept us in hugs.  “I’ve been waiting on ye, are ye both alright?”  Jenny asked.

 

“We’re fine, just tired and hungry.”  I said and looked at Jamie who nodded.

 

“Aye, Janet.” Jamie said, and put an arm around his sister and kissed the top of her head.

 

Jamie took the horse to the barn and I saw Brian coming toward the house.  He waved and I waved back and Jamie met him on his way to the barn.

 

I looked at Jenny, who was looking at me.  “What’s wrong?  Was my brother a clot hede again?” She asked me and I smiled.

 

“No, he was great, I’m fine.”  I said and looked at the door.

 

“Come.” Jenny said and took my hand.  

 

Mrs. Crook was watching the girls and I guessed wee Jamie was with Ian.  I waved to them and Jenny steered me up the steps and we went to a room that wasn’t used and Jenny closed the door behind us.

 

“What is it?  Whatever is going on if ye tell me maybe we can figure it out together.” Jenny said.  I brought so much into her life that she didn’t understand and she still wanted to help me.  I blinked away my watery eyes.

 

“It’s the light from my hands.  I know it’s helpful, and it may have saved at least one of my children, but I can’t control it.  I’ve already gone through one witch trial and I would prefer to keep that at once in my life.  Even in my time, my family could be ostracized and at worst I could be seized by the government.”  I said and I tried to stop rubbing my hands.

 

“Well, I have been thinking about it and I think the first step is gloves and a muff.” Jenny said.

 

“Gloves and a muff?” I asked, wondering how that could help. 

 

“Yes, I went visiting and made some trades while ye two were gone and I have ye two pair of fine black gloves and a muff to put your hands in if the gloves need to thicker.  That should hide the light if ye need to be hiding it.” Jenny said and looked at me with the face of determination. 

 

I took a breath to control my rising emotion.  This, this is what I needed, practical ideas!  Jamie had the best intentions in his heart and I knew it but I needed a plan and Jenny gave me a start.

“Thank you, thank you, this will help a lot.  Do you think Mrs. Crook is safe if it happens in front of her?” I asked.  I knew the woman had worked at Lallybroch for a long time.

 

“Aye, it would be better if it did nay happen in front of her, but she would likely call ye a fairy before a witch.” Jenny said.

 

“That’s fine, I’m still called a fairy in my time.” I said and shrugged.  Jenny looked like she was going to ask me something but the door opened.

 

“This is where ye went Sassenach, come downstairs, Da said they have news.” Jamie said and waited for us to leave the room.

 

Downstairs the table was set with a heavy lunch and it was all I could do not to dig in.  Everything looked and smelled amazing.  Brain said the blessing and we filled our plates.

 

News had traveled fast.  Their visitors had been redcoats coming to apologize.  Jamie almost choked with the word apologize.  Apparently the redcoats had come with a small sum of sterling meant to offset holding Ian and told them they were sorry for assuming the family was hiding Jamie.

 

“They told us new evidence let them know Red Jamie wouldn’t come home, so they said except for friendly checks they would be leaving us alone.”  Ian said.

 

Jamie sighed audibly.  “That is a relief.  I didna want ye to suffer for my crimes.” Jamie said and he looked like a weight had lifted.

 

Jamie told them about our trip and they told us more about the redcoat visit and the new livestock.  Just when I was ready to fall asleep at the table Raymond barged into the dining room.

 

“Madonna, I need to use your rock.  The one we have won’t open.”  Raymond said and I got up and went through my bag until I found my rock.  Really Jenny’s.  I handed it to him and he tried to open it right there.

 

“This one won’t open either.  I don’t know what has happened.” Raymond said.

 

“It does that sometimes, what is the name of the person you are trying to reach?” I asked.

 

Raymond looked at me suspiciously.  “Layla.” He said and handed me the rock back.

 

I took it in my hand, lit it up and called for Layla.  As soon as I handed it back to Raymond it went dark.

 

“Claire, how often are you using the rock to talk to your family?” Raymond asked.

 

I had thought there might be repercussions from the frequent communication, but I felt like I had to check in with my children.  I was ready to face the music.  “At least once a day, most of the time twice a day but there were two days when it was four times when I healed my children.” I said and waited.

Raymond looked at me for a full minute and I saw everyone wander in to see what was going on.  

“The reason, Madonna, that I told you to use it once or twice a week is there are many rocks connected to each other.  They are from a traveling stone that broke.  If everyone who has the stone pieces uses them twice a week it’s fine.  If one person uses it twice a day no one else can use the rocks for days, maybe weeks until the energy builds back up.”  Raymond said and I saw a red flush on his face.  He was angry with me.

“I’m sorry, but if you need to contact someone I can make the stone light.”  I told him.

“You can make it light here, but the person on the other end can not.  You have halted the communication between travelers.”  Raymond said.

"Is Layla a traveler?" I asked, holding my temper.

"Yes." Raymond said.

I took the stone and lit it.  I said her name a few times, and she responded.  Raymond talked to her in rapid French and explained what was going on about the rocks.  Apparently they were meeting in a few weeks.

 

"Why does it still open for me?" I asked when Master Raymond's conversation was finished.

 

“I don’t know how it is working for you, but it has to stop.” He said.  “Once more now, to tell them it will be a week before you can talk.”  Raymond said and handed me the rock.

 

I held it and heard the children playing.  I lit it and spoke with Fergus, Faith and Murtagh to check on them and let them know it will be a week before I contact them again.  Thankfully, everyone was well.  Jamie had held my hand and we talked to our family.  At the end I handed the rock back to Raymond, told him I was sorry once more and went to my room to lie down.

 

I felt like a lifeline had just been taken away from me.  I knew I shouldn’t be contacting them so much, but when it worked without any issue I just kept on using the rock.  It would be seven days until I could talk to my children now.

 

I undressed to my shift and was crying when Jamie came in.  He undressed to his shirt and he held me until I fell asleep.

 

Jamie woke me several hours later.

 

“Sassenach, it’s time for supper.” He said and kissed my forehead.

 

“I’m not getting up.  I’m sleeping until I can talk to the children again.” I said through the sheet.

 

I felt Jamie smile.  “Do ye want me to have words with Raymond for scolding ye?” He asked and I took the sheet off.

 

“No, he’s right, I didn’t use it like he told me.  In my defense I didn’t know there were a bunch of other people who used it.” I said.

 

“Aye, more of an explanation would be helpful on a lot of things from Raymond.” Jamie said and he kissed my cheek.

 

Despite the shame I felt from being scolded in front of the family, Jamie’s kisses had me stirring.  “If we are going to be on time for supper you better stop that.” I said.

 

“I thought ye were staying here for a week?” Jamie said and kissed my neck again.

 

I got up and dressed for supper.

***

 

I expected Jenny, Ian and Brian to avoid me or discuss around what had happened after lunch  but I was wrong.  Jamie and I sat down, Brain said the blessing and it started.

 

“I had words with your Mr. Raymond.” Brian said, looking at his plate.

 

“Over what?” I asked.

 

“Over scolding my new daughter because she used what she could to talk to her children.  Because she healed her children through his stones.  How dare he come into our house and talk to ye like that.” Brain said and he looked angry.

 

“Aye, he should’ve explained his reasons to use it less right from the start.” Jenny said.

 

“Aye, that is why I asked him to leave.” Ian said.

 

“What?” Jamie asked.

 

“I thanked him for all he’d done for our family but told him the way he treated my Sister was unacceptable.  I asked him to leave and give us some time with just family.” Ian explained.

 

“How did he take it?” I asked.

 

“Raymond said nothing, but Ahote apologized and told us he would be back in time to go with ye to the stones.”  Brain said.

 

I looked at Jamie and smiled.  I was still embarrassed, but my in-laws had my back and I was so proud to be one of them.

 

***

 

The weeks passed quickly and I spoke to my family back home once a week.  Jamie and I played with wee Jamie and the girls as much as we could, likely because it eased the ache of missing our own children.  Jenny and Ian were fantastic as usual and the more I got to know Brian the more I liked him.  The time we spent with the family was wonderful, but I was ready to go home.  I missed my children so much I felt it like a physical ache.

 

My middle seemed to jump out one morning.  The baby seemed to be growing normally, then one day people could tell I was pregnant from yards away.  It was almost like he had a growth spurt.  I wrote it off to the clothing of the time; you could hide a pregnancy under a dress for months.   Everything seemed to be going fine with the pregnancy, except I could tell he had leg muscles already due to his kicking.

 

If the family we left in 1950 was with us those days would’ve been perfect. 

 

Even though Jenny tried, Brian couldn't be talked out of wanting to go back to my time with us.  I’d agreed to take him through the stones with us and Jamie loved the idea of more time with his Father.  I wondered how Murtagh would take it as he was currently our resident elder.  Maybe it would be for the best because Murtagh and Jamie were more like friends.

 

***Jamie’s POV***

Ahote showed up alone five days before the solstice.   Claire and I were packed and Da said he was ready. 

 

Ian, Da and I were in the fields working when we saw a rider going straight to the barn so Da and I went to investigate.  When we saw it was Ahote we greeted each other and I asked when we were leaving.

 

“First light tomorrow if you can be ready in time.  The earlier the better.  We need to try to go through on the stroke of midnight when it becomes the Solstice.” Ahote said.

 

“I though ye went through at midnight the night of the solstice?” I asked.

 

“Yes, that is the best way, but I found out redcoats are expected to pass that way on the solstice, so we have to go through the night before.” Ahote said.

 

“Is that still safe?  My new Daughter is breeding.” Da asked.

 

“Yes, I know, this is why I am going back through with you.  I had planned to wait a day but I think I could help Claire. Do you mind if I speak to her?” Ahote asked.

 

“Of course, I’d like to check on Claire anyway.” I said and Da pushed my arm good naturedly.

 

On the walk to the house I asked Ahote how long he’d been traveling through the stones and he astonished me with his answer.

 

“Eight years old!?” I asked, thinking I had heard wrong.

 

“Yes, my father was a traveler and I inherited the ability from him.  He taught me a lot and I’ve been traveling ever since.” Ahote said.  I looked at him trying to gage his age.  From his face I  would guess maybe five and twenty, but he seemed like he had more life experience.

 

“Thirty four, I am thirty four years old.” He told me.

 

“Aye? I would’ve guessed five and twenty.” I said, looking at the path ahead.

 

We found Claire and Jenny in the sitting room knitting.  I tried not to look at Claire’s hands but the urge was too strong.  They weren’t lit.  They actually hadn’t been lit since she healed Murtagh through the rock.  She saved my children and probably my Godfather, but I would have this burden lifted from her.  Claire was already so tired from the bairn she carried, and when she healed it was too much.  I wanted her rested and plump.

 

“Ahote, hello.” Claire said and stood up.  Ahote gave her a small bow.  He looked at Jenny, who was looking at him, but she turned back to her knitting and said nothing.

 

I cleared my throat and finally Jenny said hello.  Ahote smiled at me, likely to tell me her rudeness was okay but I wasn’t having it.

 

“Are you and Raymond alright?” Claire asked.

 

“Yes, I am fine and the last I saw of Raymond he was doing well.  I would like us to leave tomorrow morning, will that suit?” Ahote asked.

 

“Of course, that will be fine.  Early I suppose?” Claire asked and smiled.  Ahote knew from the last time he took us to the stones, Claire was not a morning person.

 

“First light would be-” Ahote started to say but he was interrupted by Jenny.

 

“Wait, tomorrow?” Jenny said as she stood and took Claire’s hand.

 

“Aye, it’s five days to the Solstice.” I said and looked at her.  Janet was not given to displays of emotion and I wondered what had gotten into her.

 

“Right, right.” She said and slowly let go of Claire’s hand.

 

Da came in and suggested we go outside and go over the plan where we wouldn’t be overheard, but Jenny said it might be easier to send Mrs. Crook and the kitchen lasses outside to start some laundry so a few minutes later we were sitting around the table eating biscuits and Ahote told them about going through at midnight.

 

“But, isn’t it usually midnight after the Solstice?” Claire asked.

 

“It is, but redcoats are scheduled to be in the area on the solstice so it would be a better idea to be gone from there.” Ahote said.

 

“What about our horses?” Da asked.

 

“I was thinking maybe Mister or Mister and Mistress Murray could see us off and bring the horses back.” Ahote said and looked at Jenny.

 

She smiled.  I think she’d wanted to see this for a while.  “I will speak to Ian and let ye know.”  She said, like she’d give Ian a chance to say no.

***

 

Supper that night was quiet.  I know my mind and probably Claire’s was on seeing the children, and we were both eager to be home.  As much as this was my family too, I missed my children so much I felt it in my heart.

 

I know Jenny was worried about Da going with us, and the fact we wouldn’t be able to speak to her but once a week now.

 

I got Claire to bed early because I wanted her to rest but I also wanted to talk with her.  I’d been worried about her hands lighting whenever she tried to heal but it hadn’t happened again, not after Murtagh.  She seemed happy about it.

 

I got her undressed and she undressed me and we got into bed.  I sat down first and spread my legs and she sat between my legs and I rubbed her back.  This had become our routine because her back hurt so much.

 

“Mmm, Jamie, that feels good.” She said and her body relaxed back into mine.  I couldn’t get to her back anymore so I rubbed her shoulders. 

 

I kissed her shoulder and asked, “What else hurts Sassenach?  What can I do?” I asked her.  I liked being her comfort.  She was heavier everyday with our bairn and it was my job to bring her physical ease.

 

She took my hand and kissed my fingers.  I leaned into her hair and inhaled the sweet scent of my wife.  Then she took a finger into her mouth and sucked it, then lightly bit the tip and I inhaled deeply.  She took my hand and put it between her legs, still holding onto a finger.  She swirled my finger right around her pulsing bud but never touched it, then she pushed my finger inside of her and I took over.  I brought her to climax once and then almost a second time, but I got in front of her and seated myself deep in her.

Claire squeezed my hand and said, “Fast Jamie, hard and fast.”  

I put a pillow behind her and I took her hard and fast.

***

The next morning arrived and Claire and I were both ready.  We left quickly, and it helped that Jenny and Ian were both going with us so there were no goodbyes because the children were still asleep.

 

Claire was in the wagon because she was too far along for a horse to be comfortable.  Jenny drove the wagon for a while and she and Claire talked quite a bit.  

 

“Do ye ever want to ken want the women talk about?” I asked Ian.  He laughed and shook his head.

 

Da was on my other side and he answered, “Trust me son, ye dinna want to ken.”

 

Ian and I laughed which made Jenny and Claire look at us.  This made us laugh more.  I saw Claire smiling.  As much as this was my time and my people, we were going home and we were happy.

Chapter 39: Back to 1950

Notes:

Hello Readers!

I hope every is healthy and happy!

There is a part in this chapter where I wanted to make it plain Jamie and Claire's open affection wasn't normal for the time (because it wasn't) but it shows the strength of their relationship and it could be inspiring to another couple.

I hope you enjoy it!

Chapter Text

It was our second day of travel and it was going well.  We hadn’t seen anyone yet and I knew, unfortunately, the Scots traveled in secret during this time if at all.  After Culloden the English had devastated these people, my people.  Jenny and Ian were doing all they could by hiring as many people as possible.  Jamie and I made sure they had plenty of sterling, but we knew too much would look suspicious.

Jenny and Ian were riding with Brian and Jamie and I were driving the wagon.  We saw Ahote coming back to us and we all stopped to see what was going on.  Ahote rode bareback and he was almost as good with horses as Jamie.  He stopped a few feet from us.

 

“Is everyone alright?” Ahote asked.

 

“Aye.” Jamie said, looking at his Father, Jenny and Ian to be sure.

 

“I think we should stop for the night.  I know it’s early but we made good time and if we continue it will be dark before we get to a good spot.” Ahote said.

 

“Aye, that’s fine.” Jamie said and looked to Ian and Brian, both nodding.  We made camp for the night and had a small fire.  It was plenty warm but we needed to cook the fish that Brian and Ian had caught.  Jamie stayed with me; he had been no more than a dozen feet away from me since we left Lallybroch.  Jenny had teased him about it once or twice but she told me in private before we left she was really proud of the husband he’d become.  I agreed.

 

That night we were all sitting around the fire telling stories and laughing when Ahote asked me to speak in private.  Jamie and I were holding hands and I let go of his hand to stand.  Jamie stood and looked at me, then he sat down.  I knew what he was saying without saying it.  He would let me go if I thought it best but he was asking for no secrets. I looked into his eyes and I knew he was right.  

 

“It’s okay Ahote, we are family and have no secrets.” I said and Ahote smiled at me.

 

“Aye Claire.” Ahote said and sat down.

 

“Aye,? Where are ye from lad?” Brian asked.

 

Ahote smiled.  “I was born in Scotland, just about two hundred and fifty odd years in the future.  My Father is a Native American, what you call Indians, but my Mother is Scottish.  He visited on vacation, holiday,” He tried to explain at the blank looks, “And he fell in love with my Mother and the land.

 

“That’s a nice story.” Jenny said.

 

“Yes, thank you.  What I wanted to talk to you about Claire, is I spoke to Nayawenne.” Ahote said and stopped.  

 

“Who is Nayawenne?” Jenny asked, and “How?” I asked at the same time.

 

“Let me go back a bit, I’m sure Raymond has given you the ‘everyone has their own special gifts’ speech?” He asked me.

 

“Yea, it just felt like more vague nonsense.” I replied.

 

“Claire!’” Jenny said, still surprised at my sharp tongue.  I saw Jamie smiling.

 

“No, she’s right.  It isn’t helpful.  I look at it this way; God, or whoever your deity is, made sure the fish that Ian caught were fed and fat and in the right place to be caught.   Is it really so far-fetched to accept that the same God made sure you would have the skills you need when you traveled through time?” Ahote asked and looked at me.

 

“When you put it like that it seems almost normal.” I replied.  “What is your skill?” I asked Ahote.

 

“I travel easier.  I can travel place to place, like I can get in the stones in Scotland and get out in England, or France, or Italy, or North America.  I can also steer the year as long as I have a stone.” He told me.

 

“That sounds incredible.” I said.

 

“Absolutely, but healing is also pretty incredible.” Ahote said and adjusted his left leg.  He broke it two years ago and he would’ve loved to have been near a healer at the time.

 

“Sure, but I can’t control it.  What if I put my family in danger?” I asked him and Jamie took my hand.  Jenny scooted closer to me and took my other hand.

 

“Ye will nae put ye’r family in danger Claire, that is just not who ye are.” Jenny said.

 

“She’s right.” Ahote said and paused as everyone looked at him. “I spoke to Nayawenne. Raymond will be upset if he finds out I told you knowledge of your future, but I’m going to anyway.” He said and smiled.  “The healing light from your hands, it is for your family only, it is only for the ones you love. They will not light for anyone else.  If you are feeling a lot of fear, they willna light then either. They wont light if you are being a healer to strangers.” Ahote said.  “I don’t think you have to be afraid.”

 

“What is Nayawenne? Is she a seer?” Jenny asked.  I was still thinking about this revelation that my healing was only for my family.

 

“Not exactly, she is a medicine woman in the tribe.  She is training under a wise woman at this time but I saw her at a point in the future when she is dreaming of Claire.”  Ahote answered.

 

“Tis a good thing to have a people showing respect and calling them wise instead of burning them.”  Brian said.

 

Everyone looked into our little fire and agreed with him.

 

There was quiet for a minute, then I heard Raymond calling for Ahote.

 

“Raymond is calling for you through the rock.” I said and Ahote looked at me.

 

“Ye can hear it when it isn’t lit?” He asked me.

 

“Yes, I hear my children a lot through it.” I replied.  I saw Jenny look at Ian.

 

“Ian man, we are moving the rock to the priest hole when we get home.” Jenny said.

 

“I don’t listen to you until we’re talking.” I said quietly to Jenny.  

 

“Weel, I’ll be moving it all the same.” Jenny said.  I couldn’t help but laugh a little.

 

Ahote got up to get the rock and light it.  Raymond was just checking in to make sure everything was going fine.

 

After Ahote put the rock away, he came back over and looked at me, then looked away.  Then he looked back at me.  “Claire, if you can hear through the rocks without lighting them you can pass letters though without lighting them also.  You will likely be tired after, but you can do it.” He told me.

 

“Good to know, thank you.” I said.

 

“What about food? Can she pass food without lighting the rock? “ Jenny asked Ahote.  She looked at me, “We really love the sausage ye sent us.” Jenny told me.

 

“You can pass food through the rock?” Ahote asked, seeming surprised.

 

“Didn’t I just tell ye that, we ken she can do it, she sends us food.” Jenny said and looked at Ian.

 

“I don’t know anyone who can pass food through the rocks.” Ahote said looking at me with large eyes.  “You should be able to pass anything though without lighting the rock, it’s the back and forth conversation that drains it,” Ahote said, trailing off, then asked, “ Claire, can I contact you if I need food?”

 

“Sure, you’ve helped us so much I would gladly help you.” I  said and tried to smile but I yawned and stroked my stomach, trying to calm the little kicks.  

 

“Bed.” Jamie said and stood.  He helped me stand and we washed up, then went to our tent.  I was so ungainly with our growing child Jamie had to help me into the tent.  We slept in the wagon the first night but when we woke I wanted him, badly.  Making love in a wagon doesn’t give a couple any privacy, so we were in a tent tonight.

 

“Help me.” I said, trying to get my clothes off.  He helped me get down to my shift but I wanted that off too.  I lay on our bed roll and waited for him.  When he lay down with his shirt on I started pulling it off.

 

“Sassenach, will ye leave me my shirt?” He asked.

 

“No, I need you naked.” I said and he smiled at me, but he did take his shirt off.

 

We lay down and spooned.  Jamie grunted as I pushed my bottom farther into him.  I felt his hand rubbing our child.  I also felt his erection.

 

“Jamie.” I said and wiggled the plump arse he loved so much on him.  I tried to roll over but Jamie held me in place.

“Sassenach,” He said softly in my ear, “Da is nay ten feet away.”

 

“But Jamie,” I said ready to argue.

 

“Shush, mo ghràdh, I will nay leave ye wanting.” He said very low, and very softly in my ear.  I felt gooseflesh on my shoulder from his breath.  He moved around me so he was in front of me and his hands were on my breasts, then he took my mouth in a searing kiss.  I felt a tingle all the way down my spine and I sucked his tongue while I pulled him closer.

 

He skimmed over my protruding belly and he found me hot and wet between my legs.

 

“Sassenach, ye are so wet.” He said smiling, he loved to find me ready for him.

 

I had my hands in his hair pulling his mouth to me.  He had two fingers inside me and I was not able to speak, but I did wrap my hand around his very hard erection and maneuvered myself closer to it.

 

“Vixen.” Jamie said as put one hand on my back and pulled me to him so he could take my mouth again and he entered me hard.  He put my legs around him and took me exactly the way I wanted.  If I could have, I would have sighed with relief feeling his cock in me.  

 

Someone was moaning.  Me?  “Be quiet Sassenach.” Jamie said and tried to kiss me again but my release had hit me quickly and I started to groan while Jamie covered my mouth to quiet me.  He sped up the pace and I felt his release.

 

Afterwards, he wiped me between my legs but I was already falling asleep.

***

Jamie’s POV

 

I woke before Claire which was normal.  I dressed and left the tent to check the few trap lines Ian had set yesterday. We were running low on meat and Claire needed it to take us through the stones.

 

“Braw morning, is it no.” Da said.  He was sitting a few feet away and was smiling at me.  My mind immediately went to last night and I got embarrassed.

 

“Aye, ‘tis.  I’m going to check the trap lines.” I said and didn’t look at him.  I was happy with the intimacy between Claire and I but it was a private thing and I guessed Da had heard us last night.  

 

“I’ll go with ye.” Da said and we left camp.  

 

Nothing was said for a while, but as soon as we were far enough away from camp he said, “So ye and Claire are mighty close?”  I could hear a smile in his voice and knew he heard everything.  He is my Father and I respect and love him, but I am a man grown and would not accept disrespect to my wife.  I stopped and turned to face him.

 

“Aye, we are mighty close, and she is with bairn so I will give her anything she wants even if it seems ill timed.  If ye want to have a go teasing me it’s fine, but I tell ye now say nothing to Claire because I willna stand it.  Sir.”  I told him.  My face was hot and I am sure quite red.  Da looked surprised.

 

“Mo mac, I willna tease ye, I am proud of my son who has such a way with his wife.  I am proud ye choose such a wife; I am sure it was difficult because she is English.”  He said and put his hand on my shoulder.

 

“It never was, not for me anyway.  I didn’t care she was English.  I knew, as ye told me I would, I knew she was the one for me and nothing else mattered.”  I told him, thinking about the time before we were married.

 

“I am proud of the way ye are with ye’r wife, ye two are a good match.  Ian and Jenny are a good match too, but they are more subdued and fine to be so. Yer Mother would be proud of the families ye both have made.” Da said and patted my shoulder before removing his hand.  “Now let's go check the trap lines.” he said.

 

I followed him somewhat surprised.  We had three rabbits, and we headed back to camp.  

 

When I got back Claire was trying to get out of the tent.  Jenny was standing next to the opening of the tent and I realized Claire couldn’t dress herself in the tent because she didn’t have enough space.  I needed to convince her to get back in the wagon tonight.

 

I handed Da the rabbits and went to help Claire from the tent.  When I got her out she was wearing her shift and I took the dress and things from Jenny who smiled at me and walked away. I helped Claire to dress and put her hair up.  Afterwards, she put her arms around me and hugged me tight to her.

 

“I’m tired already.” She whispered in my ear.  I smiled and kissed her gently, then reached in her dress pocket and handed her the extra pins for her hair.

 

“Good morning mo chridhe.” I said and kissed her lightly again.

 

“Good morning my heart.” She said translating my Gaelic back to me. We turned around and started to the campfire ring only to stop and see Ian, Jenny and Da staring at us.  Ahote was occupied with the rabbits.

 

“What?” Claire asked then her hands went to her hair, thinking it was standing up.

 

“Ye look fine siùir, it is only,” Jenny said but paused to find the right word, “Ye two are quite loving.”

 

“Are we no among our family?” I asked.  Ian looked at Ahote.

 

“Ahote, ye are so much of our lives I consider ye family, but if we offend ye-” I was saying but he cut me off.

 

“No, you two do not offend me at all.  Seeing affection between people gives me hope for people in general.” Ahote said and smiled at us.  “Claire, what can I put in this to help you eat more meat?” Ahote was holding a skinned rabbit.

 

Claire swallowed.  “Jenny, do we have any of your broth left?” she asked.

 

“Aye Claire, I will get ye some.” Jenny said.

 

And so the subject of our affection was put aside for the moment, which was a good thing.  Claire was looking embarrassed so I was getting angry.

 

We ate and broke camp to keep moving.  Ahote drove the wagon today so we walked behind the wagon and some and Claire rode with me some.  She didn’t straddle the horse, so it was a little more difficult but I was able to hold onto her even when she fell asleep.

 

Da rode next to me and smiled at us.  I was excited for him to see the family that would be waiting for us.

 

Ian and Jenny kept to themselves, but there were a lot of looks and kisses between them. It was almost like someone had to do it first, then it was alright. 

 

That night Claire and I slept in the wagon and when my wife wanted me I didn’t hesitate.  I didn’t try to keep her quiet either.

 

**********

Claire’s POV

 

I will miss Jenny and Ian very much.  Being with them for weeks again and then traveling with them was wonderful.  It was obvious they’d heard Jamie and I in the tent a few nights ago and it had been weird in the morning.  I was embarrassed, but it passed and I saw Jenny and Ian really kiss for the first time that day.  I think it was worth the embarrassment.

 

The night before last Jamie and I slept in the wagon again and we made love.  He didn’t even try to keep me quiet.  Yesterday morning when we got up and made our way to the fire ring Jenny and Ian were sitting together and holding hands, and kissing.  I saw Brian sitting near where he’d slept smiling a very proud smile.  I think he was proud his surviving children were happy, or maybe I was just guessing at how I would feel.

***

Since I napped in the back of the wagon the trip was going fast for me.  Somehow it was the day before the solstice and we were camped near the stones.  Our group was subdued. We’d started with a different atmosphere; in the beginning of a journey one never thinks of the goodbyes to come.

 

We were waiting until midnight and Jamie and Ahote were patrolling the area to be sure we were safe.  Jenny and Ian were sitting together and I was on the other side of the ring,  Brian was walking around; I think he was restless with Jamie and Ahote gone.

 

At first I didn’t realize it but I’d started to cry.  I’d told myself not to cry because it made Jenny uncomfortable.  I put my hands over my face and thought again of Fergus and Faith, Brianna and Alex.  I felt an arm come around me on both sides and looked up.

 

“So, how soon can ye send me some sausage siùir?” Ian asked and I laughed out loud.

 

Jenny wiped my tears.  

 

“Tomorrow mo bràthair,” I said, calling him my brother in the Gaelic,” I will get some tomorrow morning and send it to ye.”

 

“Ian man, we didna bring the rock, we will wait till Sunday.” Jenny said stroking my arm.

 

“Aye, I did bring it.  I thought ye would want to know right away they arrived safe.”  Ian said and I saw her thanks to him in her eyes.

 

I took each of their hands.  “I’m sorry to be emotional, but I will miss you so much, Jamie and I both miss you so much.” I said, trying to stop my crying.

 

“Aye, we miss ye too, but we ken Jamie is safe, Murtagh is safe, and ye do that Claire.  You take him to safety and we will always be grateful.” Jenny said and I squeezed her hand in mine.

 

I looked up to see Jamie and Ahote watching us.

 

“If you light the rock briefly, just a few seconds to let them know you are sending things through it won’t drain the rock as much as talking for a while does.  I know I am telling you ways to get around Raymond’s rules, but,” Ahote shrugged his shoulders and trailed off, “This is what I do.  If I keep the conversation to under a minute, it works out fine.”  Ahote said and smiled at me.

 

“Thank you, I appreciate it.” I said and smiled.  “Is it time?” I asked.  I was still sitting there holding Jenny and Ian’s hands.

 

“Mmhm” Ahote made that Scotish noise signaling assent, “It will take an hour or so to get to the stones and we need to leave the wagon here.” He said.  Jenny, Ian and I stood.

 

“Are you sure the two of you will be fine traveling back by yourselves?” I asked.  I was worried about their safety.

 

“Aye Sister, we will be fine.  We brought some sterling and we’re going into Inverness to buy some goods and fabric so we will have a verre good reason to be traveling in case we are stopped by lobster backs.” Jenny said.  I was glad she had a plan and she sounded excited about the shopping.

 

We set off to the stones.  Jamie and I walked because I wanted to.  Ahote rode a horse and Jenny and Ian shared a horse.  That way they would only have to bring two horses back to the wagon.  Brian walked behind us.

 

I thought Jamie and I would talk, but it felt right not to speak.  We held hands and I was mentally trying to prepare myself to go through the stones again.  

 

Ahote had told me not to focus on the screams, or the pulling, or the feeling separated from yourself.  He said to set your mind on where you are going and try to forget the rest.  I didn’t know how I would do this, but I would try.  Ahote was much more experienced than I was and much more helpful than Raymond.  

 

I was still feeling uncharitable to Raymond.  It was odd because I did what he told me not to do, so the scolding was well deserved.  I just wished he’d told me the reason!  I would never have used the rocks so much if I knew my actions would keep other people from communicating.  I didn't even use it all the times I wanted too.

I will have to clear the air with Raymond another time.  I needed to focus on the stone.  I worried they would try to hold onto Brian because he’d been in the stones for a longer time before.  When I asked Ahote what he thought, he had no idea.  

 

So we walked.  I tried to breath in the silence, to absorb it almost.  My time was so much noisier.  I could tell Jamie was lost in his own thoughts too.

 

All too soon we were there, at the bottom of the hill.  I could hear the stones already.

 

“Claire, I have the gemstones.” Ahote said and Jamie and Brian took rings with rubies in them.  “I have a black diamond for you,” Ahote pulled a gold necklace with a large diamond in the center, “The black diamond offers more protection and since you're pregnant…” He said trailing off.

“Thanks.” I said and put the necklace on.

 

“Thank ye Ahote.” Jamie said.

 

“Jenny,” I said and hugged her, then Ian. “When we get to the top, the stones are too loud and I can’t hear anything.  Please, keep each other safe.” I said.

 

“Ye do the same Claire, ye do the same.” Ian said and Jenny had a few tears on her cheek. 

 

Jamie wiped his sister’s tears away and hugged her for a long moment.  He shook Ian’s hand, then hugged him too.

 

When Brian hugged his daughter he pulled her up into his arms and swung her like a child and Jenny laughed.  “I will be back mo nighean, see about getting me another grandchild.”  Brian said and I think Jenny blushed.

 

“Ian, mo mac, ye are a good man and I am glad my daughter chose ye.” Brian said and shook Ian’s hand.

 

Ahote shook hands with Jenny and Ian, then nodded at me.  It was time.

 

We started up the hill; Jamie had to help me in many places.  When we finally got to the top Jamie was one side of me while Brian was on the other and we linked arms as Ahote had instructed us.  He would come after to be sure everything was fine.

 

I looked over at Jenny and hoped she wouldn’t be too shocked at what she was about to see.  She smiled and nodded to me, like she was ready for me to go and I looked at Ahote who was ready also.

I focused on my home, my children, Lallybroch in 1950, everything to get us to the right time and walked into the stone.  Right before I heard the chaos in the stone I heard Jenny invoking the saints.  I kept thinking of my children and not Jenny because I was afraid it would spit us out right where we came from.

The trip through the stones were like every other one and I was done with the chaos.  Only a second through I yelled stop again, like I had when I found Faith and everything quieted long enough for us to step out and fall over.

***

Jamie’s POV

 

Claire brought us through the stone and I ended up on my hands and knees vomiting.  As soon as I could get the words out I yelled for my Sassenach.

 

I tried to stand but I was not steady yet.  I saw Da and crawled over to him. “Da, are ye alright?” I asked.  I saw he’d vomited also.

 

“Aye, a short trip but nay an easy one.” He said.  I figured he was doing okay.  

 

Strong arms lifted me and I turned to see Murtagh.  I hugged him then asked, “Claire, do ye see her?”

 

“Nay, Violet, turn ye’re light on” He said and I saw Violet a few feet away and she had one of those flashlights that she switched on.  

She moved the light over the area around the stones and I didn’t see Claire.

 

“Claire!” I yelled loudly, and again.

 

Violet handed us more flashlights and it became clear my wife wasn’t there.

 

Ahote stepped out of the traveling stone and looked at us.  He didn’t look like it affected him at all.  He turned and saw Murtagh and Violet.

 

“Is young Murtagh, uh Charlie with you?  We need him.” Ahote said.

 

“Aye, I’ll get him.” Murtagh said and went down the hill.

 

“Where is Claire?” I asked, grabbing Ahote.

 

“Young Murtagh can get her.” Ahote said calmly.

 

“That doesna tell me where she is!” I said and tried to grab him again but my Da had my arm.

 

“If ye throttle the man he canna get yer wife.” Da said and I took a few steps back.

 

In another minute Murtagh came up the hill carrying two large child seats and Fergus was pushing the stroller that likely had Faith in it.

 

“Why did ye bring our children when I canna give them their Mother?” I asked Murtagh.

 

“Because Charlie was watching them and I willna leave them alone.” Murtagh said.

 

“Where is Maman?” Fergus asked.

 

Charlie came over the hill carrying what looked to be a heavy box.  “What is it Ahote?” he asked. 

 

Ahote looked at Brian, and I think made a quick judgement to call Charlie's Grandmother Claire to avoid the many questions Da would ask.

 

“Claire is stuck, I think she was conflicted or something and-” Ahote said but I cut him off.

 

“Conflicted, what do ye mean?” I asked him.

 

“Jamie, I could either answer your questions now, or we could get Claire and answer your questions later.” Ahote said and waited for me to back off.

 

Da pulled my arm again so I stepped back and realized how close I was to Ahote.  “I’m sorry, please just bring her home.” I said and went to Fergus.

 

I didn’t say anything, I just hugged him.  Faith, Brianna and Alex were asleep, but I closed my eyes and thanked the Lord for all four of my children and asked him to bring their Mother home.  

 

Charlie and Ahote were talking then they rummaged through a box.  Da came to stand next to me.

 

“Da, this is Fergus, our oldest son.” I said with both my hands on Fergus’s shoulders.  I was very proud of Fergus and I wanted him to know it.

 

“Hello Sir, it is nice to meet ye.” Fergus said and offered his hand to shake. 

 

Da smiled at him, shook his head and brought Fergus in for a hug.  “Your Da has spoken a lot about ye, he is very proud, and call me Grandda, not sir.” Da said.

 

“Aye Grandda.” Fergus said.  He smiled at me, and came back to stand next to me. 

I was introducing Da to our other three children when I saw Ahote and young Murtagh go into the traveling stone.  

 

Fergus put his hand in mine and stood a little taller.  “Dinna fash Da, Maman is strong and she is like magic, they will bring her home.”  He said and I squeezed his hand.

 

It felt like hours passed holding that little hand in mine and watching the stroller and the car seats while keeping an eye one the stone.  It was likely only a minute or two.

 

The wind kicked up and Faith woke up asking for her Muta.  Murtagh picked her up, but then she saw me and jumped in my arms.

 

A second later Ahote stepped out of the travelling stone, then Charlie carried Claire out.  

 

I could see her head lolling and put Faith in Murtagh’s arms then ran to take Claire.

 

“Sassenach, wake up.” I kept saying.  I went to my knees with her in my arms to touch her head.

 

“Maybe we just need to get her back home, to rest?” Violet said.  I knew she was concerned for her friend but I didn’t want to just wait and see.  Claire is my world and if she isn’t okay then nothing is okay.

 

“Ahote, do ye have the blue light stone like Raymond?” I asked, trying to sound civil.

 

“No, only Raymond.” He replied.

 

“Can we ask him for help?” I asked, looking at Charlie and Ahote.

 

“He scolded her for doing something completely-” Da was saying.

 

“Da, I dinna care if he can help her.  I will apologize a thousand times if he will help her.” I said and cradled Claire closer to me.

 

“Aye Grandda.” Charlie said and took a small rock out of his box.  He had it lit and was speaking to Raymond in less than a minute.

 

Another minute later and Raymond walked through the stone.

 

“Raymond, where were you-” Ahote was asking but Raymond cut him off.

 

“Where is Madonna?” Raymond asked and looked at us on the ground.

 

Raymond got on the ground right next to me and opened his bag to pull out the blue stone.  

 

“This man-” Da started but I stopped him.

 

“Can help my wife.” I said and Da was quiet.

 

Raymond ran his blue stone over her and started talking to me. “She has a broken bone in her arm, her left ulna, and she has a concussion.” He said and looked at me.

 

“Can ye fix it?” I asked.

 

“I could make her wake, but she will be in a lot of pain.  It might be better to take her to the hospital.” He said and waited for me to make the choice.

 

“I will take her, thank ye Raymond.” I said and he almost smiled at me.  I could tell he was worried about Claire also.

 

“Murtagh, did ye bring both cars?’ I asked.

 

“We brought three.” he said and waited for instruction.  I briefly wondered where the third car had come from but I let it go.

 

“Good, two cars can take the children home and one can take us to the hospital.” I said and looked at Murtagh.

 

“Jamie, do you mind-” Raymond started awkwardly but I cut him off.

 

“Ahote, Raymond ye are both welcome to stay with us if ye’d like.” I said and carried Claire down the hill.  Murtagh, Charlie and Da were carrying the children.  We loaded up and headed out.  Charlie, Da, Claire and I were going to the hospital.

Chapter 40: How to love fiercely

Notes:

Hello everyone!

I want to thank everyone for the wonderful comments! I read every one of them and I appreciate it!

This chapter is a little busy and long, I thought about dividing it up but I couldn't find a good place.

Disclaimer- Diana Gaboldon owns these characters.

Chapter Text

Claire POV

I was hearing a conversation and trying to open my eyes that felt like they’d been glued shut.

 

“You take your shots because they will help keep you well.  I don’t have to know anything else, that is what my Maman said, and I trust her.” That was Fergus!

 

“I understand that, but the needle hurts, how does doing something that hurts help keep you well?” Another voice asked, Brian?

 

“You are going to be in for a surprise when you get the smallpox vaccine if you think that one hurt.” Fergus said and I heard him laugh.

 

“Fergus!” I said and reached for him.  

 

“Maman!” Fergus said and was in my arms. Well, arm,  The other one was tied to me.

 

“Oh Fergus, I have missed you so much.” I said and was kissing his cheek.  He giggled and put his arms around my shoulders.

 

“Brian, is that you?” I asked and opened my hand. 

 

He took it, “Yes, but ye must get used to calling me Da.  Child, go get your Da.” Brian said.

 

Fergus must’ve gone to the door and yelled ‘Da’ because that is what it sounded like.  I then heard pounding footsteps.

 

“Is she alright?” Jamie asked.

 

“Jamie?” I asked and held my arm out.

 

“Sassenach” He said and came to me.  He put his arms around me and lifted me off the bed a bit.

 

“Jamie, something is pulling on my arm.” I said and he let me back down on the bed.

 

“Why can’t I see?” I asked. “I can’t seem to open my eyes.  What’s going on?” I asked.

 

“Weel, ye can’t open yer eyes right now because there is a bandage around yer head, hold on.” Jamie said and he adjusted it farther up on my forehead.

 

I had no words.  I opened my eyes and Fergus was standing in front of the bed looking fearful.

 

“Fergus, will you sit with me?” I said and he smiled and came right to me. I put my arm around him and kissed the top of his head.  “ I missed you so much.” I said and tried not to cry.

 

“How are we doing?” Said an unfamiliar nurse who came in.

 

“I’m very good, thank you.  How’s the baby?” I asked.

 

“We’ve already checked the baby, he’s fine, it was you we worried about.” The nurse said.

 

I heard Jamie gasp.  “He?” Jamie asked and I could’ve slapped the nurse.

 

“Yes, the child your wife is carrying is a boy.” She said and Jamie sat on the bed and held my hand.

 

“Another son Claire.” Jamie whispered and took Fergus’s hand also.

 

“I'll alert the doctor that you’re awake.” The nurse said and left the room.

 

“How do they know if the bairn is a lad or lass?” Brian asked.

 

“The modern age of science.” Fergus replied.  I laughed and held Fergus closer to me.

 

“I will explain it later, when we are home.” I said and smiled at Brian.  He looked like he was afraid to move the wrong way or he might break something.  I felt for him.  Jamie and Murtagh learned all this to stay safe but he came only to get to know his grandchildren.

 

I saw him adjust on the seat again and I had a thought.  “Jamie, did you show your Da the restroom?” I asked quietly and Jamie looked blank.

 

“Nope.  Good idea.” He said and got up.

 

“Da, let’s take a walk.” Jamie said and stood.

 

Fergus jumped up too.  “I want to see this, be right back Maman.” He said and kissed me on the cheek.

 

I smiled watching them go.  Fergus was so smart and full of energy.  

 

Once I was alone my mind went back to the stones.  Why had I been so foolish?  I didn’t berate myself for long because a familiar doctor came into my room.

 

“Claire, what happened?  Is someone hurting you?  That husband of yours is big.” Doctor Anderson asked.

 

“No, no one is hurting me, unless you count my insides then my soon to be footballer is to blame.” I replied and Jamie walked back in the room looking perplexed and I guessed he’d heard some of what I said.

 

“What happened then? And why are ye dressed that way?” Doctor Anderson asked.

 

“Weel, that would be my fault Doctor,” Jamie said, “I had it in my head to dress the family in costume and have a picture taken at the fairy hill, but then my wife fell.” Jamie said.

 

“Did ye get the picture?” The Doctor asked.

 

“Nay, when Claire fell we rushed here and the rest of the family went home.” Jamie said.

 

“That’s a shame, it’s a good idea.” Doctor Anderson said and smiled.

 

“I’m guessing you want to go home as soon as possible, even though I think you should stay the night?” He asked me.

 

“Yes, I want to go home.” I told him.

 

“Can ye be in my office first thing tomorrow?  And can someone drive ye as we have to cast that arm before ye leave.” Doctor Anderson asked me.

 

I looked at Jamie, he was giving me the ‘what am I going to do with you’ smile.  “Yes Doctor, what time works? Eight, nine in the morning?” I asked.

“Make it 9:30, I like my sleep.” The Doctor said and handed Jamie some papers. “These are the reasons ye will need to bring her back, and this explains how to care for her, can ye do this?” He asked.

 

“Yes sir, can ye give me the address of yer office?” Jamie asked.

 

Nurse Drever poked her head in, “Claire!” She came to my bed and gave me a gentle hug.  “I’m here to get ye to put a cast on ye, let’s talk about yer babies.” She said and put me in a wheelchair and we left the room.

 

I looked back at Jamie, he was looking at me and seemed a little pale.  I wondered if it was because he didn’t know what a cast is.

 

Another hour later and we were in the car heading home.  Jamie was driving and Brian was in the front seat; they were talking about automobiles and Brian was impressed that his son could drive.

 

Fergus was laying in my lap and I stroked his hair and I closed my eyes.  I was asleep in another minute.

 

Jamie was trying to wake me and from the other side I felt someone try to take Fergus. I was awake in a second and I yelled, “No!”

 

“I’m just carrying the lad to his bed.” Brian said

 

Fergus was awake and clutching me.  “I’m sorry, I was dreaming.  Fergus, your Grandda is safe, I’m sorry I yelled.” I kissed the top of his head, and Brian helped him out of the car.

 

Murtagh, Charlie and Violet were on the porch.  Murtagh came down the steps first and basically pushed Jamie out of the way.  “What is it lass, what happened?” Murtagh said and helped me out of the car.

 

“Nothing, I was dreaming and I yelled in the dream, I’m sorry.” I said and I hugged Murtagh.

 

I saw Charlie behind him and I hugged him too.  For a long time.  Then I started to cry.

 

He was patient, and held me, rubbing my back.  After a few minutes I drew back and said, “Thank you.” quietly but meaningfully.

 

I took Jamie’s hand and we went into the house.  Brian was standing in the kitchen looking around.  “Is there a bed for Brian?” I asked Violet.

 

“Och, aye, we finished the large room at the end of the hall upstairs.” Violet said.

 

“Thank you, will you please show him his room, I am exhausted.” I said and hugged both of them.  

 

I took Jamie’s hand and we went to our bedroom.

 

Violet, probably, had dusted and put fresh flowers on my dresser.  I turned to face Jamie, who’d been so quiet.  “I know I owe you an explanation, and I will give it to you, but for tonight can we just sleep?” I asked.

 

“Aye Sassenach, come here.” He said and I went.  I would always go to him.

 

He helped me undress and then he undressed in half the time it took me.  We crawled in bed and just held each other.  I was asleep in minutes.

 

The next morning I woke listening to the noise of the house and I smiled.  I couldn’t wait to see Faith, Brianna and wee Murtagh. 

 

Jamie stroked my back and murmured something.  He smelled my hair and sighed, still stroking my back but making his way lower.  I purred in response.  I wondered if he knew I was awake.

 

I moved my hips back a little and felt his hardness, then rubbed myself on him and felt him throb.  “Vixen.” Jamie whispered in my ear.  He lifted one of my legs and he rubbed his cock where I was getting warm already.  Every time he got close my breath hitched a bit because I thought he would enter me but he didn’t.

 

“Jamie, now.” I said, wanting him inside me.  He made that Scottish noise in his throat and let my leg down and took his beautiful cock away.

 

“Jamie!” I said starting to get up but he had a finger inside me and he was kissing my neck.  I was breathing heavy and then he inserted another finger.

 

I was moaning.  “Sassenach,” Jamie whispered hotly in my ear, “Yer honeypot is so wet.” he said and I moaned again.

 

“That is because you are supposed to be inside me.” I said a few words at a time because Jamie had increased his speed.  Then he rubbed me with his other hand.

 

He kissed me as my climax took me.

 

A few minutes later I was reaching for my husband when he backed away from me.  “Jamie?” I said in hurt confusion.

 

“The doctor said no sexual relations until he looks at ye this morning.” Jamie said and I groaned.

 

“I forgot about that.” I said in dismay.  “Can you help me up? I want to go get a shower.” I asked Jamie and he helped me up.

 

I put a pair of pajamas on and my robe.  I had gotten so big while I was gone I wouldn’t fit into much.

 

“Come on, I want to see the children!” I said to Jamie who was still finding a shirt.

 

When he was dressed I opened the door to see Fergus holding the group back.  As soon as they saw me I sat on the floor to a chorus of  “Mama’s and Dada’s”

 

Jamie was sitting behind me and he had Brianna and Murtagh now while Faith was trying to figure the new me out.

 

“Mama, what is this, why are ye fat?  And take that off yer arm, I dinna like it.” She said.  I laughed, I couldn’t help it.

 

“I’m not fat, this is your baby brother, he is growing inside me, just like you did.” I told her.  I didn’t even approach the cast yet.

 

“It’s a boy…” Faith said and looked at Fergus, then smiled, “Okay, that’s fine.” She said and I looked at Fergus too.  

 

Faith switched with Murtagh and he had baby questions too, just less mature ones.  After explaining it as well as I could he started talking to my stomach.  “Baby brother, come out to play.”  He said and I smiled.  I hugged him again.

 

After I had three hugs from everyone, including Fergus, Jamie had to help me up, again. We went to the kitchen and I saw everyone sitting there.  

 

“Do we have any help coming in today Violet?” I asked as I sat down.

 

“Nay, I thought we might need some time to get back to normal.  Lily is dropping off a meal at noon and Flora is dropping off a meal at five for supper, then they switch times tomorrow.” Violet said.

“Where are Lewis, Martin and Gordon?” I asked.  I hadn’t seen them yet today.

 

“Gone,” Murtagh said coming back into the kitchen from his bedroom carrying Ben, “I drove them to the train station this morning.” I sighed and Murtagh went on to explain, “When their parents died they had grandparents alive but no way of contacting them so they went to the orphanage.  We talked and they told me they wanted to go look for them.”  Murtagh said and looked at me.

 

I took a breath to ask something, but he continued, “I made sure Gordon saw Dr. Alice before they left and I bought him a couple months worth of medicine for his breathing problems and I gave them plenty of money, and I told them if they needed anything to contact us.” Murtagh said, smirking at me.

 

“Thank you, you took care of everything.” I said and smiled at him.  “I have to see a doctor this morning so I’m going to grab a shower and get dressed.” I said.

 

“In yer closet are a couple outfits for maternity.  I thought ye might have grown some in the middle.” Violet said, smiling and looking at my middle..

 

“And what Murtagh didn’t think of you did, thank you.” I said to Violet and went to shower.

 

I heard Jamie behind me, “I hav’ ta help her, the cast ye know.” I smiled thinking of us both in the shower.

 

We did take a shower together.  It took much longer than if I had been alone, but it was fun.  We made it to the doctor’s office with five minutes to spare.

 

Doctor Anderson looked me over and asked about the medical care I was seeing for the baby.  I told him about Dr. Alice and surprisingly, he knew her and approved of her.  He told me I was fine and to be careful with my head.

 

Jamie and I went to the grocery store after the appointment was over.  We thought about looking for clothes but I told him the children likely needed more things so I would just wait until we had them with us.

 

We did load up at the store.  We figured we had another person to feed and we wanted Brian to know we could get plenty of food so he didn’t worry.

 

When we got home and Jamie was carrying the bags in Fergus, Murtagh and Charlie automatically got up and went out to help with the bags.

 

Brian got up and looked at us.  “What are we doing?” He asked.

 

“The men carry in the food, that's all, sit Da, they have it.” Jamie said.

 

“What did ye get?” Brian asked.

 

I sat next to him.  “There is a large grocery store near here where you can go in and buy most any type of food.  It makes it easier.” I said and Brian nodded.  He looked like he was thinking about it.

 

Jamie brought in his second load and he said, “Maybe we did get too much, the lads are nay here anymore.” 

 

“Hmm, you’re right.  I wish I could’ve said goodbye.” I said.

 

Murtagh brought in a load and said, “Maybe hello will do better, they are supposed to call when they get where they are staying for the night.”

“That’s great!  Why didn’t you tell me that earlier?” I asked.

 

“Because I figured it would be better news when ye were pining.” Murtagh said and smiled at me.

 

We got the groceries put away and I sat down to eat sausage and banana bread from breakfast.  As I was finishing Jamie, Violet, Charlie, Murtagh, Brian and Fergus sat at the table.

 

I looked at them.  “Do you want something to eat?” I asked.

 

“Nay Claire, ye owe us the explanation of what happened after ye brought Da and I through.” Jamie said and I nodded.

 

“You’re right, I do. Let me get-” I said but Violet cut me off.

 

“I will get ye a nice glass of milk, aye?” She asked me.

 

“Yes, thanks.” I said.

 

I turned to the table.  I hadn’t planned on telling it this way, I’d thought I would explain it privately to Jamie, but that wouldn’t be fair.

 

“Okay.  When we were going into the stones I heard Jenny- Where are the children? I don’t want them to hear it.” I said.

 

“I got them down for naps.  It’s a little early but they were tired after last night. All but Ben anyway.” Violet said.  I looked at Murtagh who carried Ben against his chest.

 

I sighed then started again.  “When we were going into the stone I heard Jenny gasp and she made the sign of the cross and started praying.  I was worried she might think I was a witch or something, and after I had you two to safety I thought I would go back, for just a minute, to make sure she didn’t think poorly of me.” I said and took a drink of the milk.

 

“But, obvious to me now, I couldn’t get back.  I had one stone and it helped to guide me well, it took me less time to get us to the other side.  Then it was gone and after I started to go back I got stuck, I couldn’t get anywhere. There were so many things...people.” I said and shuddered.

 

I took another drink and continued, “I wrapped my hands around our child and hoped someone could get me.” I looked at Charlie with tears in my eyes and it was just then I saw Raymond and Ahote standing in the doorway.

 

“Since Charlie can get his blood relations I got him to help me pull you out.  We each wore four stones, we put two on you and they were all gone when we arrived back in this time.” Ahote said.

 

“They were trying to get to the child.  Ye were wrapped in a ball when I found ye, that is how ye broke yer arm, a … thing was pulling it trying to get to your baby I think.” Charlie said.

 

“I remember.” I said.  I remembered it all, quite unfortunately.  “They were kicking my head too, that’s how I got the concussion I think.  Why did they want my baby?” I asked Raymond.  Jamie and Brian were staring at me with open mouths.

 

“What is in there are human beings that have been in a twisted reality way too long.  A twisted reality twists your thoughts.  By now everything that lives in there knows you can take people out, and I think they were thinking if they got your baby out of you then you had room to take them out.  I don’t know for sure, they try to hold onto everyone that passes but Ahote told me what he saw and I have never seen that before. I have also never heard of a traveler pass though while being with child.” Raymond said.

 

“I traveled back when I was pregnant before and this didn’t happen, why now?” I asked.  “I mean, I know things try to grab at you, that seems to happen every time.  I never saw faces before.” I said and the gooseflesh rose on my arms.

 

“I don't have all the answers Madonna, all I know is now they must know you can take people so they might be more bold and forceful in the future.” Raymond told me. 

 

“I don’t want to tell you want to do, but it would be in your best interests if you weren’t pregnant when you pass back through. Also, a black diamond is hard to find, but it would be helpful.” Ahote said.

Everyone was quiet for a minute.  Jamie kept looking at me and I knew we would be talking about this later.

 

“Madonna, I’m sorry-” Raymond started but I interrupted him.

 

“Nope, I know what you are going to say but I did go against what you told me.  How about you agree to explain things better to me, and I agree to follow the rules better?” I said.  Raymond smiled.

 

“That will do Madonna, that will do fine.” Raymond said and came over to me and gave me a hug.  “I am so glad you and the baby are well.”

 

Raymond stood up and walked back to Ahote.  “Ahote and I are both leaving, we just wanted to be sure you were alright.” Raymond said.

 

“Wait, don’t you want to eat?  Do you need anything?” I asked standing up.

 

“Mrs. Violet already fed us and packed us food bags.” Ahote said and he came over for his hug.

 

Everyone said goodbye and Ahote asked if he could come back in September.

 

“Of course, you are welcome anytime.  What is going on in September?” I asked and he looked at my ever-increasing middle.  I laughed.

 

They left and I didn’t know when I would see Raymond again, but things were alright between us and I felt good about that.  

 

I sat back down and I asked for our rock, I was late letting Jenny and Ian know we were alright.

 

I lit it and called Jenny’s name.

 

“We’re here Claire, is everyone alright?” Jenny asked.

 

“Aye lass, we’re braw!” Brian said and Jenny laughed.

 

“I’m so relieved, when ye went through the rock and the wind kicked up and the lights came from the rock I thought Jesus himself might show up.” Jenny said.  I laughed and cried a little.  I was so relieved she didn’t say she thought the devil might show up.

 

I took the paper backing off a few muffins, “Jenny, here are some muffins.” I handed them through the rock and Brian looked shocked.  I had a block of cheese opened and handed that through too, along with the sausage.

 

“Aye, we got them, thank ye Claire.” Ian said.

 

“Are you two okay, where are you?” I asked.

 

Jenny giggled.  GIGGLED. “Ah, weel, we got a room in Inverness and we haven’t left, but we plan on setting out tomorrow.  We’re braw too.” Ian said

 

We said our goodbyes and made a plan to pass letters in four days.  I closed the rock and Brian was looking at me.

 

“Are ye a fairy lass, or what are ye?” Brian asked.

 

“She’s just magic, she is nothing to be afraid of.” Fergus said standing up and coming to my side.  I put my good arm around him and held him close.

 

“It’s alright Fergus, all this is new for your Grandda.” I said and hugged Fergus even closer.

 

Jamie came around the table and kissed me.  He gave me an odd look.  “Da, why don’t ye come have a look at the stable, we’ve got four-” Jamie was saying but Murtagh cut him off.

 

“Six, we have six braw horses and two ponies.” Murtagh said. Jamie clapped Murtagh on the back.

 

“Now I have to go to the barn.” Jamie said and he, Charlie, Brian and Murtagh headed out after depositing Ben in my arm. My one good arm.

 

***-----***

Violet and I were in the living room.  She was knitting and talking about everything that happened when we were away but it seemed like, except for the sickness, everything was normal and I was happy about that.  They got a good start on the planting.

 

I was in the rocking chair holding Ben who was asleep.  He was on top of my stomach, wedged a bit and he seemed to like it.  I drifted off to sleep and woke at the sound of the doorbell.  There were pillows on both my sides and I looked to Violet who had just put down her knitting.

 

“I was afraid Benny might slide off ye before I could get him.” Violet said.

 

I laid Ben down in the little bassinet and Lily came in with a lunch to feed an army.  We said hello and she felt my stomach, because everyone thought they had a right to touch a pregnant woman.  I smiled through it and reminded myself she was just being kind.

 

We brought the food in and Violet and I thanked her.  She told me she was glad I was home and I smiled.  When she left I stood by the table and just looked at it all.

 

“Should we call the men?” Violet asked.

 

“No, they should be here any time, I’m sure they saw her car.” I said to justify the fact that I didn’t want to get up.  I was hungry.

 

Violet and I ate, then I went to lay down for a while.

***---***

Jamie came in to wake me for dinner. When I opened my eyes he was sitting on the bed holding my hand.

 

“Thank ye for fighting for our child.  I’m sorry I was nay with ye to help.” He said softly.

 

“But I didn’t fight, I curled up and just tried to protect him.  If I moved one arm from our boy they were going to claw through my skin to hurt him.” I told him.  I wished I could've fought.

 

“Aye, I see the scratch marks and the bruises all over ye.” Jamie said and stroked my arm. “But ye did fight, ye covered him and took the beating yourself. I’m sorry ye had to do that.” he said and a tear fell onto my arm.

 

“Jamie, I didn’t have to do it, that’s the thing. I was foolish and afraid Jenny might think ill of me. If I hadn’t been so stupid our son wouldn’t have been in jeopardy.” I told him, still mad at myself over it.

 

“Weel, thank you anyway. Come eat.” He said and helped me out of bed.

 

***---***

 

It took us a while and some patience but we showed Brian how everything worked.  He said the plumbing was the best invention ever and I quite agreed with him. 

 

The second day we were home Violet and I packed up two large baskets to have a picnic and we all quit working and we went to the little creek and had a picnic. The children played and swam with Jamie, Charlie and Murtagh.  

 

“I think Charlie is thinking of leaving.” Violet said.

 

“I figured he would, I’m surprised he didn’t leave already. Probably shook up from the traveling but he has a family waiting for him.” I said.

 

“He’ll have to wait till Samhain now.” I said, thinking I needed to get him alone and speak with him.

 

Wee Murtagh got out of the water and came over to me, “Mama, my tummy is mad and wants food, hear it?”  He said and tried to hold his stomach to my ear.

 

Of course I acted like I heard it and gave him a sandwich.  Then Brianna and Faith came out and wanted food too.  Fergus watched over his siblings but if he could, he tended to stay with the men.  The men ate last, because they finished everything!

 

***---***

My opportunity to speak with Charlie came the next day.  He took a walk every morning and I was up early enough to go with him.

 

He seemed hesitant when I asked.  “Umm, sure, that will be fine.” He said and we set off.

 

He was quiet for a while so I decided to break the ice.  “I want to thank you again for saving-” I started but he stopped and looked at me.

 

“Please don’t.  You already thanked me.  It is terrible in there but I would do it a million times more, as you would for me or any of us.” He said then continued walking.

 

“Murtagh.” I said loudly to get him to stop.

 

He stopped and walked back to me.  “Are you angry?  After that first week you were here you grew to be so quiet, and withdrawn.” I said quietly.

 

He took my hand and pulled me over to a tree stump to sit and he sat on the ground.  “I’m nay angry, there is nothing to be angry at in your house, in your company.  I have to leave.  I get to get to know who you are now, who my Mother is as a child, and Grandda and Murtagh and Violet, and now my great Grandda, all of you.  I get to know ye, how ye are now then I have to leave ye. I have to figure out if I want to go back earlier or just go to the current time.  If I go back earlier I can stop Mom from getting on that plane, so do I trust ye to tell her when the time comes.  What if ye forget?  It’s so far in the future from here.”  he sighed. “Things aren’t good with my wife either.” He said and looked down to pull some grass.

“What is happening with your wife?” I asked.

“I spent all our savings on something and she told me not to do it.  I speak to her once a week or so through the rock, and everything is fine with my bairns.  They miss me.” he said and smiled.

 

“I’m sorry you are going through trouble, I hope everything works out.” I told him.

 

“See, just like this. Ye are so kind Granny, ye didna even ask me what I did.” He said.

 

“It doesn’t matter, you are obviously sorry it upset your wife, that is what matters.” I told him.  “Now help your old Granny up, let’s walk.  We can talk about the pro’s and con’s of when to go back.”

 

He laughed at me, but he helped me up.  We walked and talked but didn’t come to an answer.  He told me small things about the future and I wondered what Jamie and Murtagh and I became that we were so much better now…?

 

“Do we become bad people?” I asked young Charlie.

 

“What, nay, of course not.” he replied.

 

“Then why are we so different now?” I asked him and he thought about the question for a while.

 

“It’s that you had your children, and then you have your grandchildren.  I will just say I am one of many there, here I have all of your attention.” He told me.

 

“That does sound bad, I’m so sorry.” I said and he laughed.

 

“It’s not bad, it’s very normal really.  You and Grandda are just busy, I will also tell you that the life you have with Grandda is always an adventure.” he said and smiled.

 

I nudged him. “I knew that.” I said and he laughed. "Do you mind being called Charlie?" I asked.

 

He looked at me, "This is not the first time my Mother has given me a nickname." He said with a sly smile and I laughed.

 

We got to a spot and I realized what he was doing.  He would take his last few days of journal papers and if he had pictures of us he would wrap those up too and bury them.

 

“Who are you burying them for?” I asked.

 

He gave a half smile, “I can’t tell you.  If I did you would figure out who lives in the house.” He said.  "I will tell you our family keeps it as long as I ken." and he smiled.

 

We finished our walk and he told me about his children.  It was nice.

 

When we got back Jamie was in the yard pacing.  He ran to us when he saw us.

 

“Thank God ye two are safe.” He said and hugged us both.  “No note, nothing! I was afraid ye both had gone to the stones, Murtagh drove there.”  Jamie said then hugged us again.  When he drew back I looked at Charlie and I saw his look.  It seemed to say this, this concern is what I don’t get in the future and I resolved to do better.

 

I explained to Jamie I’d wanted to walk with Charlie and I was sorry I worried him and hadn’t left a note.

 

Jamie said it was fine and he took both our hands and walked us back to the house.

 

***---***

Another day passed and things seemed to be getting back to normal.  Jamie, Murtagh and now Brian went out in the morning to care for the livestock.  Fergus, Brian and Charlie went out in the evenings. Brian and Jamie took a ride and worked with the horses to train them.

 

After lunch on our third day home, Faith had asked me when she was going back to school.  I looked at Jamie who shrugged and nodded yes, so I asked her when she wanted to go back to school.  Faith told me she would think about it and let me know.  Murtagh decided he would see about getting his job back.

 

He went to the preschool that day and came home smiling.

“What happened?” I asked.

 

“My old job wasn’t available, but they gave me a new one.” He said proudly.

 

“Don’t keep us in suspense man, what is yer new job?” Jamie asked.

 

“I am the gardener.  They want to teach the children about growing plants and such so everyday I take a few children out and teach them how to garden.  In the winter they want to keep me for snow removal and building and fixing things.” Murtagh said. He was very proud and we gave the proper amount of praise.

 

“Lass, do ye mind keeping wee Ben for a while longer? I want to go tell Violet.” He asked me.

 

“Of course not, go!” I told him.  He was still in his nice clothes and decided to brush his hair first. I tried not to smile at him; before Violet if he brushed his hair twice a week it would surprise me.

 

After he left Brian asked if he should see about getting ‘the job’ as he put it.

 

“Nay Da, I mean I guess if ye want to but, we don’t need the money.  Murtagh only started working at the preschool for Claire because she was scarit to leave Faith on her own.  Murtagh and I give sword fighting lessons and we make quite a bit from that. I train horses at a bed and breakfast that I really need to call come to think of it.   Claire was a nurse before but can’t work now because she is with bairn, she also had an inheritance from her uncle that we have in case we need it.” Jamie said.

 

“What is a bed and breakfast?” Brian asked.

 

“It’s just like a tavern that ye can get rooms at.  The rooms are fancier and they cook a big breakfast.” Jamie said.

 

“Weel son, ye told me that ye have two jobs, Murtagh has two jobs, Claire has a job when ye haven’t put a bairn in her,” I blushed at this point, “Murtagh’s lass has a job taking care of a Reverend.  Any ye nay want me to work?” Brain said.  He had a point.

 

“Will ye please just settle in and wait a while?  I would rather have ye at the house until Claire has the bairn.” Jamie said quietly.

 

“Why?” I asked.  I had switched sides.

 

Jamie looked at me and got on his knees in front of me.  “Because I have obligations that take me out of the house already and I need to keep bringing in the money we were bringing in.  The more I train horses, the better I get.  We need to be able to keep sending Jenny and Ian food and money and Sassenach,” He paused and kissed my hands here, “Ye have a cast on yer arm, yer recoverin' from a head wound, and if that’s only one bairn I will be surprised.  I worry so much for ye it tears my wame up to leave ye, and my heart aches with it.  If my Da is here I know ye are safe.” He said and I loved him a little more for his honesty and for the love he bore me.  He had a tear on his left cheek and I wiped it away.

 

“Okay.” I said and smiled at him.  Carrying a child was exhausting but I had no idea what a day in Jamie’s shoes were like.

 

“I will nay do a job, I will get to know my grandchildren and keep an eye on my new daughter.  At least until she recovers from the new bairn.” Brian said and Jamie thanked him.

 

“I’m going to call the bed and breakfast, tell them I’m back and see how they are doing.” Jamie said and left to make a phone call.

 

“What is calling?” Brian asked and I explained it to him.

 

“So it’s like your rock, but most people have one and there are wires attached and not magic?” He asked.

“Something like that.  I will talk to Violet tonight and you can call her at the manse so you know how to use it.” I told him and he nodded.  A few minutes passed and I tried to stay awake in the silence.

 

“My son loves ye like I love my Ellen.  I am glad, mostly.” He said, looking off in the distance.

 

“Why mostly?” I asked.

 

“Because if ye love like that, and one of ye dies without the other, it is terrible.” He said.

 

“Are you sorry to be back?” I asked.

 

He looked at me then. “No,nay, of course not!  It is hard without her but I hugged all four of yer and Jamie’s children today.  Ye will have to tell me the story of Fergus someday.” He said and looked in the distance again.  “And one more thing, I want to sleep down here.  It is too quiet upstairs.” Brian said and I smiled.  Violet thought and I agreed he might want the peace and quiet.

 

“There is only one bedroom left and it is by Jamie’s and my room.  It’s not as big as the one upstairs.” I said.

 

“That’s fine, I don’t need too much space.” He said.

 

“Uh, it is right next door.” I said, not looking at him.

 

“Lass, my son has the love of a good woman.  If he has that love often then I am happy for him.” Brian said and I finally looked at him red cheeks and all.

 

Jamie came back in the room and put his boots on, “I’m going out to check on their horses, Da do ye want to go with me?” Jamie asked.

 

“Ye just told me ye wanted me to keep yer wife safe when she is alone, and then ye want to leave her alone?” Brian asked.

Jamie looked at the clock.  “Tis fine, Murtagh will be home in less than half an hour, Lily has the bairns and Fergus is reading again.” Jamie said.

 

So they left and I wandered in the kitchen to get something to eat.  Jamie thought I was carrying twins again… I rubbed my large belly and said, “Knock knock?” Just then the phone rang and I dropped my sandwich.

 

Lily ran in to answer it and it was for Fergus.  His friend was going to the bookstore then out to the hamburger restaurant and wanted to know if Fergus could go.  I told him he could and he was very grateful.  I gave him too much money and he left, so excited to go to the bookstore.  I would have to take him more often.

 

Around ten minutes after Fergus got picked up Lily got ready to leave.  Apparently it was an early day she’d worked out with Violet already.

 

I went into my room and left the door open.  I was going to lay down for a little while, and just as I was closing my eyes the children woke up and in the next minute I heard Ben crying.

 

I got them cleaned up and changed.  We were working on potty training the twins but since they were just over a year and a half it was going slowly.  Ben was way too young for potty training, much to Murtagh’s dismay.

 

We went to get a snack, and I could kiss whoever invented high chairs.  I didn’t cook, just warmed things up.

 

We played in the living room and listened to the radio.  My head was aching bad and it was difficult to change or clean a baby when you hand one arm in a cast.  At least one of the twins insisted on crawling on me at all times.  I didn’t want to make them settle down, I had missed this so much.

 

No one came home for hours.  Fergus was the first to get back and he helped me get his siblings and Ben cleaned up and in bed.  “Maman, go to bed, ye look so tired.” Fergus said.

 

“I have to shower first, I have food in my hair.” I said and Fergus looked at my hair and made a face.

“Oui, ye must shower first.” He said and I went to shower.

 

Murtagh and Violet came home while I was in the shower.  When I got finished they thanked me for watching Ben and told me about how they’d gone out to dinner to celebrate.  I turned to go to bed and Fergus gasped.

 

“What? Do I still have food in my hair?” I asked.

 

“Nay, yer head is bleeding.” Murtagh said. He picked up the papers from the hospital and Violet sat me in a chair.

 

“I think she pulled the stitches out in her head.” Violet said.

 

“How did I not know I have stitches in my head?” I asked.  Fergus, Murtagh, and Violet all looked at me.

 

“Ye knew ye had a head wound, right?” Violet asked.

 

“Of course, they told me to keep it covered and dry and that’s what I’ve done, I just didn’t realize there were stitches.” I said and looked at the floor.  My head really ached.

 

“Get dressed, lass.  I will take her back to the hospital, can you two take care of the bairns if they wake?” Violet asked Murtagh and Fergus.

 

I got up. “Just once I want to go to the hospital in the daytime.” I said.

 

“Lass, it’s only seven.” Murtagh said and I groaned again.

 

I got dressed and it was decided that Murtagh would drive me since Violet had drunk a whiskey.  I was fine with the change of plans.  It would likely be a quieter drive.

 

“Does Jamie know?” Murtagh asked.

 

“No, he and Brian went to the Bed and Breakfast to look at the horses and see how they were.” I said.

 

“Mmm-mm,” Murtagh said, making that Scottish noise. “They hired a lad but he didn’t work out.” he said, and was quiet for a while.

 

“Do ye want me to call over there when we get to the hospital?” Murtagh said.

 

“No, it’s fine.  I don’t want to interrupt his work.  He already told me today that he is worried about me, I don’t want to prove his worries true.” I said.

 

Except, when we got to the hospital, we found out the wound was infected and all the stitches had either come out or loosened.  My cast had gotten wet and was starting to come off and the some of the bruises from my time in the stones started to yellow but they still looked angry. They were keeping me for the night and there was no way I could talk them out of it. Two nurses saw the bruises on my shoulder and kept asking me if I needed to talk to someone.  Since I used to work at this hospital I knew what it was code for.  All night in a hospital.  Dammit!

 

“Okay, can you please call home and see if Jamie is there yet?  If not just tell Violet what is going on so she can tell Jamie if he gets home before you.” I said.

 

“Before me?” Murtagh asked.

 

“Yes, I have to be here all night, you might as well go home.” I said.

 

“I’m not leaving ye lass.” Murtagh said.

 

“It’s fine, really, go home, a hospital is no good for resting.” I told him and he looked at me and I knew that was a question for another time.

 

“I willna leave ye alone, ye just don’t leave a person alone in some situations, especially here.” Murtagh said.

 

I tried to smile at him but it hurt.  I closed my eyes and said, “Thank you.” and in reply he patted my good arm.

 

I opened my eyes a few minutes later to Murtagh asking someone to call our house.  Then someone came in to wash my head wound again.  Murtagh watched but didn’t say anything.  He wasn’t a man of many words.  When the pain subsided I closed my eyes but didn’t sleep.

 

“Today was exhausting and I only took care of the children alone after their nap.  Why am I bringing babies into the world that I need help to care for?” I asked quietly.

 

I remembered something Jamie had said about Murtagh ‘still waters run deep, ye ken?’ and I hoped he would have an answer for me but the silence continued. 

 

Until, “Bairns are a gift from God and yers are born from love which is the best gift.  It doesna matter ye need help caring for them, ye will have help and ye will be able to teach them everything important.” He said.

 

“What’s that?” I asked.

 

“How to love fiercely lass, how to stay healthy and care for loved ones when they need it. That education is important.  Jamie will teach them how to sit a horse, how to fight and how to learn a trade.  I wouldna worry about yer bairns, they will be fine.” Murtagh said and I squeezed his hand because if I said anything I knew I would cry.

 

I woke up a little while later because I wasn’t holding Murtagh’s hand anymore.  I looked up to see Jamie and Murtagh speaking at the door. They noticed I was awake and Murtagh came in to say he was leaving.

 

“Remember what I said.” He told me.

 

“I will, thank you.” I said and he nodded at me

Chapter 41: Unanswered questions

Notes:

Hello Dear Readers!

Thank you for all your wonderful comments! I read every one although I haven't replied for a while, thank you for commenting.

Let's thank Diana Gabaldon who wrote the Outlander series and has rights to the characters we all love!

Chapter Text

“I’m sorry Claire, I did the one thing I didn’t want to do which was leave ye alone for hours.” Jamie said before he even sat down.  I loved the man, but my brain was pounding out of my skull..

 

“Jamie, it’s alright, I’m alright, the children are alright.” I said and closed my eyes.

“Ye call having to go to the hospital because your head was bleeding alright?” He said a little more upset now.  “Will ye please look at me when we are talking?” he asked.

 

“Jamie,” I said and took a breath, “My head is pounding, I know we need to talk this through but can it be in a few hours? Please?” I asked.

 

“Aye lass, sure.” He said softly and pulled the chair up to the bed and held my hand as Murtagh did.  As soon as the headache eased a bit two nurses came in to irrigate and see if it was time to re-stitch yet.

 

It was time to stitch and I told Jamie to walk out of the room.  Fergus told me before we left the house tonight that when they stitched it the first time Jamie had to walk out of the room because he got pale and unsteady.

 

“It’s fine lass, I will just sit on the other side.” Jamie said and switched sides.

 

They started stitching and I wished I had a strap to bite down on because, damn, it hurt.  After a few minutes tears were streaming down my face.

 

“Can ye take a break maybe? Claire is in a lot of pain.” Jamie said.

 

“We could use that spray to numb the area…” One nurse said to the other.  “It’s fine for pregnant people.” 

“That’s a good idea, let’s get it.” They left the room before I could throttle them, now they get it?

 

I was trying to do the calming breaths that Dr. Alice had taught me but it was difficult.  We made it though, I had my head re-stitched, my arm re-cast and a stern warning from Dr. Anderson to “Hire help, take time away from work, whatever we needed to do so I could rest every day and not be picking up children.”

 

I was able to leave the hospital in time to go home for breakfast and I was hungry. Jamie hadn’t spoken much, just asked me how I was doing and if I needed anything.

 

When we got home Jamie told them about the night and I ate then went to bed. It wasn’t long before Jamie joined me for a nap. I slept well past lunch but when I got up the pain in my head had eased considerably and I ate enough to make up for the missed meal.

 

After I ate I asked Violet about where I could get poster size plain paper and she pulled several pieces from the boot in her car.

 

“I keep it for Roger to make maps on, he loves maps.”  Violet said.  I tried to pay her but of course she declined.

 

“What are ye going to do with it?” Violet asked.

 

“I’m going to make our household a schedule.” I said with a smile.  I thought a schedule would be just what we needed.  I got a ruler and some supplies and made up a calendar looking page.  On the side I made a legend of sorts to abbreviate our names.

 

The paper was big enough I could write plenty in the box assigned to that day.  I was excited about making it; I didn’t know how Jamie would feel because he’s expressed often how he misses the freedom of his time.  This would be good for our family, I was sure of it.

After dinner the whole family and Flora and Lily would be there for an hour, so it was the perfect time.

 

By the time dinner came I was practically bursting at the seems. We were all sitting down, except for Flora and Lily who were watching the children.  I was ready to start my explanation then the doorbell rang.

 

“I will get it.” I said as I saw Violet start to get up from the corner of my eye. I was determined to make them go away.

 

“Hello.” I said as I opened the door, trying to smile.

 

It was a woman holding a clipboard. “I’m looking for Claire Fraser.” She said.  

 

“And you would be…?” I asked, thinking she was rather rude.

 

“Mary Tines, I’m with Scotland's Committee for Healthy Women and Children.” She said proudly and handed me a card.

 

“Why are you here?” I asked, being rude now.

 

“I need to see Claire Fraser.” She said.

 

“I am Claire Fraser, how can I help you?” I asked, somewhat befuddled now.

 

“Sassenach, is everything alright?” Jamie asked as he wandered into the room and stood beside me.

 

“Who are you? Are you calling this woman names?” Mary Tines with Scotland's Committee for Healthy Women and Children asked and scribbled something on a clipboard.

 

“Jamie, someone at the hospital reported they thought you might be hurting me.  This woman is here to make sure you aren’t.” I said and he looked at Mary Tines in surprise.

 

“I dinna hurt my wife.” He said adamantly.

 

“Ms. Tines, what can we do to move this along swiftly?” I asked. “We are having dinner.”

 

“Could I observe?” She asked.

 

“Ye can get a plate for all I care.” Jamie said and walked away.

 

“No, I must only observe, not participate.” Mary Tines, who obviously took her job very seriously, which was a good thing I reminded myself, was going to sit in the corner and watch us eat.

 

So she was settled and I sat back down.  Murtagh and Brian were looking at her and looking at me with raised eyebrows. I just kept shrugging.

 

I got a few bites down and got started.  “Something Doctor Anderson said at the hospital really rang a chord with me, we need a schedule.” I said and produced the large paper.  I taped it behind me and stood up to explain it.

 

“I need help with the children now.” I paused and looked at Murtagh, he was smiling at me. “I shouldn’t be picking them up anymore and quite frankly I could sleep fourteen hours a day.”  This had Fergus laughing.

 

I went on to show their name in the box to get their initials.  We started with Murtagh’s work day; and I wrote MF with FF 11:30am to 4:00pm work/school.

 

“Lily, Flora, would you come in here please?’ I asked and they both came with the twins on their hips.

“Can we go through your work schedule? I would like to know your exact hours a week in advance.” I said and they were happy to comply.  

 

And so it went until I had two weeks finished.  Charlie said he had some things he needed to do but everything he had was flexible and he would make sure I wouldn’t be left alone before he left.  Brian was going to be going with Jamie to the bed and breakfast three days a week to train horses in the afternoon but one of the girls would usually be here.

 

Jamie decided he wanted to be home most evenings and that worked out well because Murtagh and Violet mentioned they wanted a night out alone once a week and offered us the same.

 

It was a hit and I was feeling accomplished.  I finished the last few bites of my food when Mary Tines spoke and I gasped.  I had totally forgotten she was there.

 

“May I ask you some questions with your oldest child?” She asked and I looked to Fergus.

 

“Come on Fergus, we can go to the library.” I said.   Somehow Faith ended up going with us and I had a child on both sides holding my hand.

 

“Children,” Mary Tines started, “Do you ever see your Father hitting your Mother?  Do they yell a lot?” She asked.

 

Fergus started, “I have never seen my Da raise his hand to Maman, and if you knew them you would know how foolish you sound.” Fergus said.

 

Faith had gotten off the seat and went to where Mary Tines was sitting. “Hitting is bad. If ye are going to hit your brother or sister you will go to bed without dessert.” Faith said very seriously.

 

“You are right.” Mary Tines and smiled.  She looked up at me, dropped her serious demeanor and sat her clipboard down.  “I’m sorry for bothering you Mrs. Fraser.  Any woman that can stand up in front of that many men and demand their schedule so she would have help with the children is not being beaten.  You really fell down the rocks at the fairy hill?” She asked.

 

I gave my fake laugh and looked at Fergus so she wouldn’t see my lying face.  “Yes, I’ve gotten so off balance recently.  My husband thinks it will be another set of twins but the doctor said only one.” I said and rubbed my kicking child.

 

“Well, here is my card if you are ever in need of my services and I hope your schedule works out.” She said and shook my hand. “Don’t get up, I will see myself out.” She said and she left.  She ended up being nice, just very serious about her work.

 

Jamie came to the door.  “So, has she decided you are safe in my company?” he asked sheepishly.

 

“Yes, apparently it doesn’t seem like you are beating your wife.” I said and smiled at him.  He was more handsome every day.

 

“Well lass, that’s good because I was wondering if my bonny lass would like to take a walk?” Jamie said, coming closer.  He probably knew I would need help off this couch. “Well, a drive, then a walk.” he amended.

 

“That sounds wonderful, but-” I started but Jamie cut me off.

 

“Flora and Lily will give the bairns a bath and play with them until they leave at 7, at which time Murtagh and Charlie will take over and start them to bed, and we should be home to read a story.” Jamie said, and at the read a story part Faith said she agreed and hugged my leg.

 

Fergus hugged me and I put my hand into my highlander's open one.  We walked out of the library and Jamie yelled, “She said yes, we will be back in two hours.” I grabbed my bag and we walked out of the house.  

 

When we were on the porch Jamie picked me up and carried me down the stairs.  I yelled his name and he ducked after he set me down because I was going to push on his shoulder.  Then he stood up and took both my hands and kissed me very gently.  “Let’s go get an ice cream.” He almost whispered.

“Oh, that sounds delicious,” I said and smiled, “Let’s go!” Then I turned and pulled him to the car and we were both laughing.

 

When we got in the car and started driving I started to explain the stitches and having to get a new cast but Jamie stopped me.

 

“Claire, it’s alright, I spoke with Murtagh and he told me the whole story. We don’t have to go through it again.” He said and squeezed my hand.  “Come closer, why are ye all the way over there?” he asked and I scooted closer to him and he kissed my forehead.  “The calendar is a marvelous idea, thank ye.” He said.

 

“Really? I was afraid you wouldn’t like it. You told me how you miss the freedom of your time.” I said.

 

Jamie thought for a minute. “Aye, but it’s a different kind of freedom.  If I was a free man and wanted to take my five children and my pregnant wife on a picnic where we could camp under the stars we would just do it.  We wouldn’t have to worry if Fergus had plans with friends, or Faith had school, we would just go.  Ye ken what I mean?” Jamie asked me.

 

“Oh, I ken exactly what you mean and don’t think I didn’t catch the five children and me carrying another.” I said and we laughed. 

"And it's a good think Fergus and Faith both have school, and Fergus has friends, I ken that." He said

 

When we stopped I felt very serious.

“How many children should we have Jamie?  We only have three little ones and it was so hard for me to take care of them by myself.” I was a little embarrassed.

 

Jamie pulled the car over and turned to look at me, “Claire, ye had four with wee Ben, and ye just went through the stones and took a beating.  Ye have a head wound and a cast and yer all bruised, would ye please let up on yerself?  I love ye too much to watch ye being mean to yerself like this.” He said and held me.  Of course I cried a little.

 

“I do have one question, Sassenach, how did ye change the clouts one handed?” Jamie said and looked serious.

 

“Very carefully.” I answered and he laughed and pulled me to him again.

 

We did make it to Inverness and parked by the ice cream parlor.  Jamie got out and helped me to slide out on the drivers side.  “Now comes the walking part.” He said and it was my turn to laugh.

 

We had our ice cream and sat outside to talk.  I told him about my conversation with Charlie and he asked me where he’d been overnight.

 

“He went to Edinburgh.” I said.

 

“What did he do in Edinburgh?” Jamie asked.

 

I broke down.  Two questions and I spilled.  “His family has money issues.  I gave him the paperwork and some money to open a bank account,” I said.

 

“Why?” Jamie asked.

 

“Because if you put a small amount of money in a bank that will exist in his time the interest could change his life. I answered.

 

“Are ye sure we should be doing something like that?  It does seem the easiest way to go about it though.” Jamie said as he was stroking my arm with one hand and holding his cone with the other hand.

 

“It’s legal, and I didn’t know how else to help him.  The rate of inflation he told me about seems almost unbelievable. I’m sorry I didn’t speak with you about it, it just seems like it’s been so busy since we got back.” I told Jamie.

 

“I don’t think it’s been different than usual, we just got used to time in 1748.” Jamie said and smiled at me but I saw something in his look.

 

“What?” I asked him as I took my first bite of cone.  The crunch was loud!

 

“Nothing. Did ye ken that Faith can already-” He said and started to change the subject, but I got him.

 

“James Fraser, you will not do that to me.  What is it?” I asked.

 

“I dinna want to bother you with troubles Sassenach, you need peace for our bairn.  But since I know ye willna let it go, I was wondering what are we going to do about keeping ye safe when we pass back through the stones.” Jamie said and I saw his concern and understood it.  

 

“I’ve been thinking about that too.  I have a few ideas that may be ridiculous, but I will need to speak to Raymond first so I can find out what he knows.” I said and looked in the distance.

 

“Weel, as long as one of us has ideas that’s good I ken.” Jamie said and his normal smile was back.

 

We finished our ice cream and took the long walk (of fifty feet) back to the car.  Jamie drove us to the bed and breakfast and drove right up to the stables so I wouldn’t have to walk.

 

There were a few employees still working and Jamie introduced me.  We looked at all the new horses that he could speak of almost nonstop. 

 

We left and arrived home in time to put our freshly washed children to bed and read stories.

I thanked Murtagh and Violet.  I pulled Fergus out of a book and hugged him.  Charlie was in the library writing and as soon as I got close to him he jumped up and turned his writing over.

 

“I will respect your privacy.” I said.

 

“Aye man, we willna read what ye dinna want us to read.” Jamie said, coming in the library right behind me.

 

Charlie sighed. “I’m sorry.  I’m writing letters to ye both and putting dates on them so ye know when to open them.” He said.

 

“Won’t that change things?” I asked.

 

“Some things really should be changed.” He said and looked at me with a look that I couldn’t decipher.

 

“You write a lot of letters.” I said and picked up his hand looking at the calluses where he held his pen.  

 

“I do, I sure miss, something from my time that would make writing easier.” He said.

 

“We should buy a typewriter.” I declared.

 

“I meant something else, but I would love to have a typewriter available.” He said, and looked at me for the follow-up.

 

“We’re going to bed but maybe we can go into town tomorrow and look for one.” I said and kissed his cheek.

 

“That sounds fine, goodnight Granny.” He said and nodded to Jamie.

 

Brian was listening to a radio show and patted my stomach goodnight, then kissed my cheek.  He was in his bedroom right next to ours, and made a point to turn the radio up a bit as we left the room.  I blushed.

 

“What is it mo Sorcha?” Jamie asked me when we were in our bedroom and he saw my red face.

 

I walked over to him and quietly replied, “Your Father turned the radio up so he wouldn’t hear us having sex.” I said.

 

Jamie put his arms around me and pulled me close to him.  “Oh, well how nice of him.  Does that mean we are going to lie together?” He asked and rubbed my back.

 

“I’m sorry, I’m too tired.  Can we sit like we did so you can rub my back?” I asked.

 

“Ye shouldna even have to ask, I love ye Claire.” He said and held me for a few minutes.  We got our clothes off and Jamie sat in bed against the headboard and opened his legs for me to sit between.  We had the windows open so I brought a light blanket and covered us up.  He rubbed as much as he could reach on my back, then my shoulders.  Then he made the wide slow circles on my middle that calmed the baby down.  

 

“There is only one.” I mumbled to him.  When his hands were on me to rub the baby I always had this idea he was looking for the second.

 

“We dinna ken, we have to wait.” He said.

 

“Can we sleep like this?” I asked, probably mumbling again.

 

Jamie leaned us forward and got a pillow to put behind his head.  “Anything ye want Sassenach.” He said.  I dozed off but woke after a short while and we lay down properly.  It just felt nice to have him all around me.

 

***---***

The next day Charlie, Faith and I went into town.  We ended up ordering another desk for the library and buying two typewriters because I guessed there would be other people in the house that would be interested in them.

 

All three of us ordered new shoes and also got new clothes for us, Brian and the twins.  When we got home Murtagh, Fergus and Fergus’s friend were in the car to drive the friend home.  We got everything inside and had lunch then I got the twins and myself down for a nap.  Charlie was going to set up the typewriters and try to surprise Jamie who was in the barn with Brian training horses.

 

My last thoughts before I fell asleep were questions without answers.  What do I do about the people stuck between the rocks?  What if I really had twins? Even though they had looked with the newest equipment and said they saw one boy.  How could I handle two more at the same time? How many more children should I have if I already need help?  How amazing was Jenny?!  I missed Jenny.  

Chapter 42: Freight train to the face.

Notes:

Hello Dear Readers!

Thank you for all the comments! I have the best readers!

This is a shorter than normal chapter, but I came to such a great stopping point I couldn't pass it up.

I hope you like it, and forgive me for where I stopped!

Chapter Text

Our days fell into a routine and that was fine with me.  I’d finally fully recovered from our trip through the stones; I didn’t have the daily headaches anymore and my arm was out of the cast.  Jamie and Murtagh were back to giving sword fighting lessons and they were very busy.  Brian loved watching the lessons because he was able to see how accomplished his son was at something so necessary in their time.

 

My calendar idea was still going full force and it seemed to give Jamie some piece of mind.

 

 Brian and Jamie went to the bed and breakfast three times a week to train the horses and Jamie went by himself two days a week.

 

Jamie and I talked about it and it was decided we would teach Brian to drive if he want to, but we wouldn't push it on him.  I hoped he asked to drive,  Jamie didn’t.  It was a little piece of his Da that could stay the way Jamie remembered it.

 

Violet was still working at the manse every weekday and Murtagh worked at the preschool and he took Faith too.  Charlie ran a lot of the errands and made extra grocery store runs on days when I had food cravings.  He was also helping me with my garden.  I insisted on having one and Jamie insisted on me not so we compromised when Charlie said he would help me.

 

I was forcing myself to get up early so I could go on walks with Charlie.  It worked out well because our busy house was always up early; I had been the one who slept in.  Charlie went every morning and I went most mornings, most being when the weather was dry.

He read every newspaper he could buy then passed it on to Fergus.  Fergus had become a social butterfly and was visiting friends or having friends over almost every day.

 

I was with Charlie on a morning walk in mid July when I asked if he knew when he was going home.

 

“Do you want me to go home?” He said after he stopped and looked at me.

 

“No, but I also don’t want to keep you from your family.” I said and took his free hand.

 

“I’ve been speaking with Ahote, it will be Samhain or Yule.” He said.

 

“Is it easier to pass through the stones in your time?” I asked.

 

“What do you mean?” He asked. He slowed down and looked at me.

 

“Well, I’ve been thinking about the passage through the stones and what Raymond said;  that the beings in the stones are people.  What if I got them out?  What if I could at least get out a few… they are people!” I emphasized because he was looking at the ground and not at me. I felt very strongly about saving these people but he wasn’t looking at me.

 

“Murtagh, look at me!” I said in a tone that let him know I meant it.

 

He lifted his head and there were tears on his cheeks.  “Seanhair, (Grandmother) I have been waiting for ye to ask me for help.” He said and I hugged him.  I was holding him tightly, when he sputtered that he couldn’t breath.

 

“Sorry.” I said and released him.  Then he hugged me again.

 

***--***

We’d all talked and decided Charlie would wait until Yule to go back because he could help me make a plan.  We also decided not to tell Jamie anything until after I’d given birth.  Our first try would be on Samhain because it would be after the baby was born.  Charlie kept in regular contact with Ahote and it was planned that Ahote would come when it was close to my time and stay until after Samhain to help us get our first person out.

 

I was feeling fantastic.  Jamie knew I had something going on with Charlie but he didn’t ask me about it.  I wondered if he knew.  Until I had to wonder no more.

 

It was only a few days after I’d spoken to Charlie about getting a person out when Jamie and I were sitting on the bed.  We’d played with the children all evening and then finally gotten them to bed.  

 

“I love the new headboard! Thank you Jamie.” I said and ran my hand over it.  It was large and soft with lots of padding.

 

“You are welcome my Sassenach, but it is for both of us really.” He said and demonstrated as he got into bed naked and sat against the wall as he did every night.  He’d already helped me out of my clothes so I was looking at him and his head was still far enough below the top that he was resting on cushion and not wood.

 

I smiled at him and climbed into my spot.  He opened his legs wide and I sat in front of him while he massaged my back.

 

“How are ye feeling’?” Jamie asked me.

 

“Good, nervous, huge, happy.  How about you?” I said and scooted closer to him so he would rub the front parts of me.

 

“I’m doing very well.  The farm is quite prosperous, and we are doing good work. I was thinking about giving Flora and Lily a bonus, what do ye think?” He asked me.

 

“That’s a great idea, especially since we are going to be adding a new one soon.” I said.

 

“One or two.” He said.

 

I laughed and he rubbed my middle and spoke to the baby for a while.  I was very relaxed when he said,” Sassenach.” And waited for my reply.

 

“Aye.” I said in my best Scottish burr.

 

“Whit’s going on with ye and Charlie?” He asked.

 

I tensed, giving him the answer in that motion.  “Ye are nay going back to those stones while ye are with bairn are ye?” He asked.

 

I relaxed a bit. “No, I am not planning to go to the stones while pregnant.” I said confidently.  I liked these kinds of questions.

 

“When do ye plan to go back?” He asked quietly.

 

“As long as I am healthy, on Samhain.  I want to try to get a person out.” I said.

 

“When were ye going to tell me if I dinna ask?” he said. Now he was sounding a little upset.

 

“After the baby was born.  I didn’t want you to worry.” I said honestly.

 

“And do ye really think that having something like this planned but not telling me makes me comfortable?  I want to help, I want to help ye to do it safely.” he said and I turned around and kissed him.

 

“What’s that for?” He asked, smiling at me.

 

“For not asking me why, or asking me not to do it.” I started to kiss him slowly and we went on until we were both gasping for air.  I put my face in his neck and sniffed the smell of him, then left a little trail of kisses.

 

“Mmmm, Sassenach, I got other things today.” He said, as he was paying careful attention to massaging my breasts.

 

“Oooh?” I said, then moaned with the delightful sensation.  His hands were making their way to my hips and I was already wet with need.

 

“Aye.” He said and broke the kiss and took his hands away.  I whined.  Yep.  Whined.

 

He grabbed several pillows from his side of the bed and put them behind me.  “Nice, new pillows. Thank you.” I said and reached up to kiss him, but he denied me.  I whined again.

 

He leaned into me and breathed hot in my ear.  “These are nay just new pillows.” He said and his hands were on me again.  

 

“Oh?” I said again. I had my head in his chest and my hands wrapped around his hard cock.

 

He grunted.  “ No, I got new pillows to prop ye up so I can take ye from behind and I willna be gentle.” He said and ran his teeth down my neck.

 

“I hope not.” I said and we got to moving the pillows in the right place.

 

**---**

 

The pillows worked.  I was so big our lovemaking had gotten uncomfortable and Jamie was getting desperate.  We made love three times that night and I was tired the next day but otherwise felt wonderful.

 

July fell away and August came and went in long days playing outside with the children.  Fergus was still out of school for the summer and it was nice seeing him play too. Our lads Murtagh and Violet had adopted from the orphanage called once or twice a week but they were doing well.  The boys had found their grandparents who were ecstatic at the boys living with them.  I missed them but I was happy for them.

 

Charlie became my constant companion.  He was very helpful and I tried to tell him how much I enjoyed his being there as often as I could.  He shared some of his journal entries with me and it seemed that he, like Master Raymond, knew a lot more about time travel than I did.

 

It had rained for six straight days.  I don’t mean a light drizzling rain that appears pretty even, I mean an all out, bucket a second downpour.  Murtagh, Violet, Ben and Faith were stuck at her house because cars couldn’t make it out on the roads and Violet told me some cars were washed down streets.  It was hard to be without Faith, but I knew she was safe and well and with people who loved her.  She also learned how to use the telephone and called me many times a day.

 

Flora and Lily had to be off the week for the same reason.  Thankfully, months ago when Jamie and I were in the past, Charlie had thought to build a high barn.  As it was explained to me, this was in case of local flooding.

 

I thought he knew this rain was coming and did what he could to help us survive past it. 

 

On Wednesday September thirteenth, Charlie, Jamie and Brian were sitting at the table playing cards.  We’d recently bought a television and I was trying to watch a music show but I couldn’t sit still.  I kept feeling like I was missing something and it wasn’t people.

 

I got up for about the fifth time and started to pace.  I saw Jamie and Brian look at me but Charlie didn’t move.  It dawned on me like a freight train to the face.  Something was going to happen and he knew!  It wasn’t just the rain.  Charlie knew something important and he wasn’t sharing.

 

Jesus H Roosevelt Christ ! I mumbled.  If I didn’t have baby on the brain I would’ve seen this a month ago.

 

I pivoted to walk into the dining room and shake some sense into Charlie when my water broke.

Chapter 43: Young Murtagh's work

Notes:

Hello Wonderful Readers!

For those who celebrate, Happy Valentines Day!

Thank you again for all your wonderful comments! I love reading them!

My Disclaimer; Diana Gabaldon owns all rights to these wonderful characters.

Chapter Text

“Jamie!” I said and he dropped his cards and came to me.  

 “Sassenach, is it the bairn?” He asked and looked at the floor.

“Yep, my water just broke. And there’s no way to get to the hospital, is there?” I asked.

 Jamie paled. “Nay Sassenach, we had to drive the autos to the top of the wood piles and chain them up.  A car canna pass.” He said and started looking around.  I knew his mind was working.

“He,” I paused as another cramp, nope, labor pain, my brain reminded me, come on Beauchamp , “ knows something Jamie.” I said and looked at the man in question.

“Da, can ye bring me a few towels?” Jamie asked.  In a much deeper voice Jamie said, “Charlie, what do ye know.” He asked and got me into the rocking chair.

 Charlie stood up.  “Call Murtagh, tell him she’s in labor.”  He said and sat on the couch and looked into his lap.

Brian had come back with the towels and Jamie put one on the floor where my water broke and one under my bum.  

Jamie was looking at Charlie.  “If ye know something that will help us, tell us!  If ye dinna tell us I can and will thrash ye.” Jamie said.

 “Thrash me now or later, I dinna care, just call Murtagh and do it NOW!” Charlie said.  He got up and stood next to Jamie.  Jamie was still taller but not by much.  A minute passed and I saw Jamie tapping his leg.

“Jamie,” I said and grabbed his hand to make him look at me, “Call Murtagh, please.” I said and tried to relax.

Jamie left the room to make the call.  Charlie went to the front door and started putting on the waders and other things the men had engineered to get up to the livestock to feed them and check on them.

“You aren’t leaving, are you?” I asked.  I had been angry at first but now I was just scared.

“No, Seamhair, I willna leave ye, but I have to set things up.” He said and went outside.  As I saw him leave in cold, muddy water past his knees I was glad again that Lallybroch was atop a bit of a hill.

 

**---**

Jamie’s POV

I called Murtagh so I didn’t strangle the man who had secrets about my family's well being.  I made mistakes the first two times, then I got the number right.

Murtagh answered on the first ring. “Halo.”

“Murtagh man, it’s Jamie, Claire is in labor and we canna get her safely out.” I told him

“Got it, see you soon.” Murtagh said then hung up.

I was more than surprised.  I had to let it go and go back to Claire.

She was still in the rocking chair looking out the door.  “Where did Charlie go?” I asked.

“He said he had to set things up.” Claire said, still a little surprised.  “What did Murtagh say?” She asked.

“He said ‘see you soon’” I told her.

“That was it?” Claire asked.

“That was it.” I told her.

A few minutes passed and she got another pain, and I heard our twins up.  Fergus had fallen asleep in the room with them.

I went to the nursery and saw Fergus talking to wee Murtagh and changing his clout.  

“It’s okay frere(brother in french), everyone makes mistakes at the beginning. I will make you a peanut butter sandwich, yes? Maybe one for Momma too? She likes them.”  Fergus was saying in a sweet voice.

“Aye Fergie, I want one.” wee Murtagh said and kissed his brother on the cheek.

I waited until he was finished.  “Fergus, your Mathair(Mother) is in labor. Can you keep taking care of your bràthair and piuthar(brother and sister)?” I asked him.

Fergus got very excited then scaled it back when he heard her groan from the living room.  

“Oui, I will see if I can get music on the radio.” Fergus said and smiled.  

I walked in the room and pulled him to me for a hug.  “God blessed me the day I found you.” I said and meant every word of it.

“Nay Da, God blessed me, a Frenchman first, when I found you.” Fergus said and laughed.  I gave him another squeeze and went to get my Claire into the bedroom.

 

When we got there our bed was draped several times over in a blue sheet-like material.  Claire laughed but I didn’t get the joke.

“What’s this then?” I asked Da.

“When Charlie took me to Doctor Alice to get my last shot he bought these from her.  Under it is the...uh...waterproof stuff?” Da said and searched for the word.

“Plastic.” Claire said and I was remembering the times she told me she wished she had some. Now we had enough to cover a bed.

“Aye, plastic. Your sheets are over there, and this is the box Charlie said you should have for labor.” Da said and pointed to a box.

“I’m going to go do anything else until I can hold my new grandchild.  Thank ye mo nighean.” Da said and kissed Claire on the cheek.

Claire didn’t move to the bed.  “Where are ye trying to get to?” I asked.

“The bathroom, to wash my hands and you should too please.”  She told me. 

I followed her and helped her stand through another labor pain.  We got her clothes off and Claire got a gown she'd bought for just this purpose.

She got in bed after this and tried to get comfortable.  “Whit can I do?” I asked her.

“Open the box please, tell me what’s in it.” She said more calmly than she should’ve been.

I opened it, but it immediately looked weird.  Everything was wrapped in plastic.

“There’s a book on top, and the rest is clothing and weird tools.” I told Claire and she was smiling.

“Why are ye smiling?” I asked.

 

“Because Charlie may not have told us what was going to happen but he is giving us the tools to get through it.  We have a wonderful grandson.” She said.  “Is there a very clean blanket somewhere?” She asked me.

 “Aye, there is one at the bottom of the box.” I said and gave it to her.  She covered herself and I helped her. 

“I’m going to rest while I can.  Please don’t go far Jamie.” She said.  I kissed her and told her I wouldn’t.

I went to the front room but I didn’t see anyone.  I heard the children upstairs and I ran up the steps.  Having the children fall down stairs was one of Claire’s biggest fears.  When I went up the stairs I found Da, Fergus and the twins in the noisy room.  Da was sitting by the door where there was a makeshift gate.  There were toys and food and pallets in the room.  There was a stack of books for Fergus, lights installed and a bed I’d never seen lined up with the wall.

Fergus was reading a children's book to the twins who were eating sandwiches. There were even a stack of clouts and clothes on a table.

“Where did all this come from?” I asked Da.

He looked at me strangely and said, “Charlie set it up, I thought ye kent.”

I nodded my head and smiled at Fergus, then went back to check on Claire.  

I felt like I didn’t know what was going on in my own home and I dinna like it one bit.

**---**

Over three hours had passed.  The children and Da were still upstairs and I'd checked on them a few times, they were fine.  I did move one of Claire’s gates to the top of the stairs just in case one of the bairns got past them.

Charlie finally reappeared.  I had thought to grab him as soon as I saw him and demand information from him.  He was covered head to toe in mud and he just opened the door and looked in.  

 I spoke to him before he could speak to me, “What was all that hammering?”

“Will ye please hand me the blue box in the library closet?” he said, boldly not even trying to answer the question.

I didn’t move.

 “I will get it myself but then I will track mud through the house.” he said.  I got the box and gave it to him.  Charlie went back out.

I was too unsettled.  I went back to the bedroom where Claire was still trying to doze but she was waking with her pains.

I got on my side of the bed and prayed.

 And prayed.

And heard the weirdest noise I’d ever heard coming from the sky.

“God?” I asked.

“Jamie, why is there a helicopter outside?” Claire yelled.

Da ran in the room carrying both the twins and Fergus was running behind him carrying a dozen books.  They looked scared, except Fergus, he looked excited.

 “It’s a helicopter.” Claire was yelling.  The twins jumped in the bed with her and Da took the chair by the door.

“Da, can I go see it?” Fergus asked.

“No, No!” Claire was yelling and I shook my head at the lad.

A few seconds later I heard a commotion at the front door. Da and I went to see who was in the house.   Da pulled a knife from his belt but I walked in the room first.  It was Dr. Alice and Murtagh who carried two large satchels. I heard Da laugh and sheath his knife.

“Hi, where is she?” Dr. Alice said and I took her to our bedroom.  

“Can ye see the children out?” Dr. Alice asked upon reaching the doorway.

“Dr. Alice!  I am so grateful you could come!” Claire said and I helped Fergus get the children out of the bedroom.

Murtagh and Brian hugged.  “Thank ye for bringing the doctor for my daughter.” I heard him say.

“Well, the lass is pretty special to us as well.” Murtagh said. I wondered if there was going to be a problem there in the future.  My Claire was like a daughter to them both, only Murtagh had been there first for her.

 

“Aye, thank ye, but how?” I asked.

Murtagh nodded to Charlie who was pulling a small raft across the lake of a road we had to the high raised platform he’d built.  He tied the raft to a pole and looked at his watch.

 “Do ye ken what he’s waiting for?” I asked.

“The Duke is going back for Violet and the bairns, then he will take Claire to the hospital if she needs it.” He said it very matter of fact.

“The Duke?” I asked.

“Aye, go check on the lass.  I would tell ye the story, but it is not all mine to tell. Ye will have to wait.” Murtagh said and I went to check in on Claire.

I went to the bedroom and Dr. Alice was setting up a light to see better.  I held Claire’s hand and watched the examination.

Dr. Alice tried to make jokes through the process but I could see some concern.

“Claire, ye are dilated, but not far.”  She was prodding her stomach and pushing on it a little.  “It does seem like our little one is in the right position, so that’s good news.” She said.

“I would suggest ye keep up what yer doing as long as ye can.  Ye may need the rest later.”Dr. Alice said.  Claire thanked her and the doctor left the room and nodded to me to leave with her.

She led me to the kitchen and said, “Jamie, everything is fine right now but Claire’s labor isn’t progressing as I thought it would.  This is the third labor she’d been through, right?” Dr. Alice asked.

“Aye, that’s right.” I told her.

“Hmm, it may well be fine and I am just over concerned, but when the helicopter comes back I suggest we take her to the hospital in Edinburgh.” Dr. Alice said.

“Why Edinburgh? Why no Inverness?” I asked.

“It was shut down days ago because of the flood.  All the patients were moved to Edinburgh, it’s the closest big hospital.” She said and took a breath.  “Is there anywhere I could rest?”  She asked.

 “If ye go up the stairs, go to the fourth door on the right.  I set up a bed there.” Charlie chimed in and I nodded like this was all to my knowledge.

 

As soon as Dr. Alice was up the steps and out of sight I took him by the scruff and pulled him into the front room.  “What is going on with my wife?  What is going on with my family?” I asked.

 He looked me straight in the eye and his voice never wavered when he said, “I’ve done all I can to help things turn out better, to help MY family too.  I will not tell you the future.” He said and stayed quiet.

I let him go because I needed to get back to Claire.

**---**

Eight hours later 

 Jamie did indeed meet Ian Campbell, the 12th Duke of Argyll in Scotland and the 5th Duke of Argyll for England that day.  He was assisting in repairing helicopters for the Korean war.  When Jamie and Claire were in the past Charlie and Mrs. Graham had contacted his estate to request a visit to look over archives.  

The visit included Murtagh, Charlie, Violet, Faith and the twins.  They’d been introduced and ended up spending the day with him and found out about his affinity with flying. Charlie had continued the acquaintance, and found a friend.

 That’s why Charlie had built the ‘sky watching platform’ as he’d explained it at the time.  It was for a helicopter to land.  That’s why Charlie had ‘accidently’ ordered way too much wood; so the cars could be kept high enough not to flood.

Charlie had a room together upstairs for the doctor and set up a room for the children to play in that might take them away from hearing Claire when she was in labor.

The plan had been to get Claire to the hospital, but the Duke was having problems with the helicopter.  It had been a bad landing when the Duke brought Violet and Faith home, but they had made it safely at least.  Claire had to have the new babe at home and I was very grateful to have Dr. Alice.

I had finally decided that everything else was being handled and I would just be with Claire.  Dr. Alice came in about once an hour to check on Claire but she made phone calls and rested and played with the children also.

I woke to Claire shaking me and I wondered how I slept through her getting up.  “Jamie, get Dr. Alice” She was saying and I jumped up to get her.

 

It was time!

**--**

“Mmmm...uuuggghhh.” Claire moaned as she pushed.  I took the washcloth and wiped her forehead.  Her head was wet with sweat as this had been going on for a long time.

“I need to move” Claire said once again, and again Dr. Alice tried to talk her out of it. I saw Charlie with his head in the door nodding at me.  

“We’re moving her.” I said and Charlie came in and draped us both with a blue sheet.

“I really don’t advise that. Jamie-” Dr. Alice was saying but I interrupted her.

“Dr. Alice, I have to help her somehow, lying there is not helping.” I said and I got Claire up and she walked around the room.  

“Thank you, thank you so much.” My Sassenach kept saying.

“Dinna fash mo cridhe, everything is well.” I would say to her over and over as calmly as possible.  

Charlie was tired after helping her for a while but when we passed the bedroom door he called, “Ready Murtagh?”

“Aye.” I heard Murtagh say.  

Murtagh came in next and took Charlie’s place.  I couldn’t even thank him but Murtagh gave me a nod and I knew he understood.

Da opened the door draped in one of the blue sheets.  “Mac, do ye need a rest?” He asked.

A few tears were on my cheeks, I couldn’t help it.  I was so proud of our family.  “Nay Da, not now.  If my lass can do it I can.” I said.

This brought Claire out of her daze.  “Go on my love, I would take a break if I could.” She said, and then she laughed.  She laughed.  She’s been in pain for almost a day but she laughed.  I kissed her cheek then switched with my Da and went to wash my face.

 

Ten minutes later I was sitting next to my bedroom door praying when Claire called out for me.  I opened my eyes to see Charlie looking at me with sadness.  I paused for a second, surprised because I was thinking the bairn was finally coming and seeing his sadness had me unsettled.

“Jamie, your son is finally going to make an appearance.” Claire got out through her pain.

Murtagh and Da were going to put Claire back on the bed but Claire was having none of it.

“No, I am a Scot and I will not lay down.  I will have this baby standing up.” Claire said with her teeth gritted and my heart in her hands.  Dr. Alice agreed, but she wasn’t happy about it.

Murtagh and Da wanted nothing more than to leave the room at this point, But Dr. Alice set up the tools on the bed and put Da behind us, “When I point to it, you hand it to me.” She said.

“Jamie, you keep her off the floor.” Dr. Alice said and I briefly wondered if she’d commanded troops before.

Murtagh was on the other side with water and blankets.  Both were behind us and couldna see Claire, but what a sight she made.  It didn’t matter that her labor had lasted so long, or that I could see her tiredness in her eyes, or that her hair was wet with sweat, she still looked like the pagan goddess I saw so often looking at her. 

I could feel her, she was still dripping with sweat, and I wished I had thought to change her nightgown. I knew she had to be exhausted.  It was past the wee hours of the morning and Claire had her pains for three quarters of a day now.

Dr. Alice had her pushing again.  This went on for a while.  

“I’ve got a head with curly black hair!” Dr. Alice yelled and Claire started laughing.

The bairn was finally delivered and Dr. Alice handed him into Murtagh’s arms.  He helped wipe it clean and handed it to us looking as happy as he did at his wedding.  As soon as I saw the baby I understood why it had taken so long; he was big!

 I looked up to the door where Charlie was peeking in and I saw tears and he moved away from the door.

I was thinking we should be able to let Claire sleep now.  Then I heard, “We’re not done yet.” Dr Alice said and looked happy.  

I started praying where I stood.  If there was another baby as big as that one, I briefly wondered if I was going to lose Claire.  I couldna lose her.

 

“Claire, are ye alright? Claire?” I said after I felt her go limp.

 “She’s just fainted from the pain, she’ll come back around.” Dr. Alice said and took another look, waiting for the next child.

“Charlie!  Bring water!” I yelled loudly.  I heard the front door open and close and I knew I would stab that man.

 Murtagh handed me a wet cloth and I wiped Claire’s face off with it.  “Claire, Sassenach, we need ye to wake up now!” My voice had gotten louder but I felt her jump.

“Don’t you yell at me!” She said indignantly.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry!” I said and kissed anywhere I could kiss. 

 “Jamie, I’ve got to sleep, I’ve got to lay down.” She said and my soul was screaming.

“Sassenach, ye’ve got another bairn to get out, then I promise to let ye rest until next month.” I said, trying not to cry myself.

“No, I have to rest.” She said and her whole body was starting to shake.

 “Maybe we should think about…” Dr. Alice was saying but I didn’t hear it.  I was scared.

Murtagh nudged me and squared up his shoulders, made a fist and looked at Claire.  He was right, hadn’t she declared herself a Scot only a few hours ago?

I cleared my voice so it would be strong.  “Sassenach, ye were right, ye are a Scot, and we don’t give up do we?” I said and paused.

“No, we don’t.” She said and laughed a little.

“Even when our odds are so bad it’s plain stupid, right?” I said and squeezed her shoulder.

“Bloody stupid lot we can be” She said and laughed and groaned at the same time.  I heard my Da laugh and yell aye. 

 “I’m pushing.”  She warned, and she did.

Murtagh was holding the second bairn when I scooped up my wife and lay her in bed.  “Am I a real Scot?” She asked half asleep.

“A’nighean, ye are a Scot, as much as I am.” Da said, exaggerating his R’s and kissed her cheek.

 

Murtagh kissed her cheek also and told her he was proud of her.  I looked at the bairns and the second one was much smaller than the first.  I had the first born and held it to Claire’s breast and it suckled immediately.  

 Da and Murtagh left the room and told me they would bring me a whiskey.  

 “Jamie, wake up Claire and have the bairns suckle.” Dr. Alice said.

I looked at the most beautiful woman in the world.  She was asleep and so were the bairns at her breast.  I was temporarily mesmerized.

“Jamie!” Dr. Alice said and I looked at her.

Claire was bleeding. A lot.

“Mo nighean donn, Sassenach.”  I said and shook her shoulder.  She didn’t wake. “Claire!” I yelled and she groaned.

“Make the bairns suckle Jamie, I’ve got to get the bleeding stopped.” Dr. Alice said, so I woke the bairns and did what Claire taught me with our first set of twins.  They were drinking for a few minutes when I looked at Dr. Alice.  She seemed a little frantic.  She looked at me then looked at her watch.

“Do ye think yer friend with the helicopter has a friend who can help? Another helicopter? Something?  She needs the hospital, she will not stop bleeding.” Dr. Alice said and I looked at Claire.  

I opened the bedroom door and yelled for Charlie.  I knew the helicopter that the Duke had been fixing was picked up hours ago, maybe longer as I looked out the window and saw the bright sunshine.

I heard ‘just go now’ coming from somewhere and I was looking around.  Master Raymond came out of the library with a blue drape around his middle and no pants.  More importantly, I saw the blue stone in his hand. The stone he used for healing.

He came in and right in front of Dr. Alice he lit the blue stone up over Claire’s womb.  Dr. Alice tried to get him off but I stepped in and held her back.

“This is my patient, what is he doing?  She needs the hospital, she could bleed to death-.” Dr. Alice was saying.

Master Raymond was muttering and all I knew was that I didn’t see a way to the hospital, but I knew he could heal her.  I took Dr. Alice from the room and asked her to sit in the hall.  She was truly angry.

 

Charlie was sitting there with a box on the floor and a bag in his hands. I opened the door to admit him.  Dr. Alice was upset but I knew Da and Murtagh would keep her out.

The new bairns were sated from Claire’s milk and quietly laying on Claire who was pale and still.  Master Raymond was mumbling to himself and there was blue light coming from the stone. Charlie was setting up needles.  

“What are ye doing?” I asked him.

“She needs blood.  I’m a match so it’s safe for her.” He said.

I stood back and watched Master Raymond heal her womb. Charlie had put a needle in Claire and in him and I saw the blood start to flow from him into her.

In another minute Claire stopped bleeding and I let out the breath I was holding and thanked God.  Raymond covered her parts up and put the stone in his pocket.

 “Her womb is healed.  Madonna should be fine.  I have to get back to the stones but Ahote is staying.” Raymond said and turned to the door.

“Master Raymond,” I said and held both of his hands in mine, “ You saved her life, how can I ever thank ye?” I choked out though tears.

 Raymond looked at Charlie and there was something exchanged but I didn’t know what it was.  “You will tell him later?” Raymond asked

“Aye.”  Charlie said.

Raymond turned back to me, “He will tell you then, soon.  Believe him and keep Madonna safe, that’s how you can thank me.  Until next time Jamie.” He said, patting my shoulder and then he left.  I found out later he did come to the house with pants but they were so wet and dirty Charlie made him take them off.

Dr. Alice came back in.  “How did ye get the bleeding to stop?” She asked and looked at me.

“I didna do it.” I told her honestly.  It was about then she noticed .

“Hey, stop, what are ye doing? How do ye know ye are a match?”  She asked.

“We were tested months ago, we are a match.  My blood is safe.” He said.

 

Dr Alice looked at me.  “You have an odd family.” She said and washed her hands then went back to work on Claire.

An alarm went off and Charlie stopped giving Claire blood.  He seemed a little woozy standing up but I got him to the kitchen and Violet said she would feed him.

Dr. Alice came to the front room where I was watching Ahote take Raymond as far as they could get on the raft.

“Who was he?  How did he heal Claire?” The doctor asked.

“He is an old friend, I wish I knew how he could heal.  He just does.” I told her.  I knew she wasn’t exactly happy with the explanation but I had no idea of what else to say.

“It took a full day but yer wife has given you two beautiful sons and she is okay.  I don’t know how but she is going to be fine.” Dr. Alice said.

“Should we nay have more bairns?” I asked.  She didn’t say anything.  “It’s alright if that is the answer to keeping her safe.” I said and waited.  Then added, "We are already very blessed with the six we have." 

“There was nothing that happened that I would say is likely to happen again.  I tell many families not to have more children and they almost never listen to me.  When ye both are ready Claire can have another child, but for her sake I would hope for a single birth that time and in a hospital, but bairns have a mind of their own.” She said and smiled.  I smiled back at her.

“I’m going upstairs to sleep.  Everything is cleaned up enough so ye can allow your family in the room to see the new bairns.” Dr. Alice said.

I waited several hours before I let anyone into our room.  Claire was exhausted, and rightly should’ve slept for a week.

When I woke her she was frantically looking for the babies.  “They’re here, safe.” I said and carried the box Charlie had left in the hall.  It was plenty big and had blankets in it.

“You were right, bloody man.  Another set of twins.” Claire said and smiled at me.  She looked back to the box and I saw tears form on her cheeks.

“He’s so big, and he’s so small.”  She said and softly touched their hands.

There was a knock at the door and it was Charlie.  I let him in but he almost fell when he saw the children in the box.

“Ye dinna mind do ye?  The wee beds are likely washed miles away because they were in the barn.  What was the box for?” I asked.

He took a step towards the box and looked at the bairns.  Then he sighed and looked at both of us.  “This is what I ken.  In my time, the story is ye gave birth to one live bairn and one underdeveloped bairn who’d died months ago.  Jamie had wrapped ye up and ran while carrying ye five miles to meet Murtagh in a car where ye both were soaked through with mud and blood.” Charlie had tears streaming down his face.  I was so surprised at what he was saying I thought I wasna hearing him right.  

He took a big breath and finished the story, “Ye got to the hospital in Edinburgh barely alive.  The doctors did a hysterectomy and ye had to get blood transfusions for days.” He said and paused again.

“Charlie-” I started to say but I was cut off. He looked back to Claire.

“That’s not all.  Ye got an infection, and it was very hard for you.” He said and looked in the distance.  

I brought a chair in and pushed Charlie into the chair.  Ahote was standing at the door and he took up the story.

“Charlie had thought to come to the past, save wee Murtagh and save you from the infection.  We had no idea how to save the babe, or to stop your womb from bleeding.  We didn’t tell Raymond because he is fine with trying to change things on a scale that helps a lot of people,  but is against it for personal gain.  I only told him about what happened to you today when I was trying to leave to get here and he insisted on coming.” Ahote said.

“If that is how he feels, why has Raymond healed me?” Claire asked.

“I don’t know.” Ahote said.

“Alright, I will likely need to hear that over again in a few hours to comprehend it better, but why are ye still looking at yer box?” I asked Charlie.

“I made it to put the dead bairn in.” Charlie said softly and Claire quickly picked up both babies.

Chapter 44: Fears

Notes:

Hello Wonderful Readers!

I hope everyone is safe and warm!
I hope you like this chapter.

My Disclaimer; Diana Gabaldon owns all rights to these wonderful characters.

*edited later on 02/20 to correct errors

Chapter Text

Claire POV

“I will not stay in this bedroom for another day!” I told the stubborn highlander I married.

“Ye will Sassenach, even if I have ta lock ye in.” Jamie said and I grunted and shook my fist at him.

The week didn’t start like this.

 I gave birth to twins on Friday September 15th.  It was early in the morning when they were born and after their births I was beyond exhausted.  The rest of the day I ate, slept and nursed the babies.  That was it.  I did find out we lost electricity on Friday, but I didn’t find out until Saturday.

The next day went better because I was able to sit up in bed and we introduced the new babies to our children.  Fergus had been wonderful and a real help for Faith, Brianna and wee Murtagh.  I wouldn’t have thought otherwise but I was still glad he was there for his siblings.

Looking at our six children on our bed really drove home the fact that I now had four children under two years old.  I think Murtagh realized I was nervous because he sat Benjamin in my lap to add to the picture.  

“I know I’ve said it before lass, but yer a perfect match to Jamie.” He said and sat in the chair by the door.

“How’s that?” I asked, still wondering what I was thinking, getting pregnant when my first set of twins were so young.

“I willna ever forget helping ye walk to get through yer pains, ye barely had the energy to stay awake, let alone walk.  When the doctor wanted ye to lay down ye said, ‘No I am a Scot and I will have these babies standing up’” He said and chuckled a bit.  “Lass, I nearly burst with pride. It did nay feel right, being in this room, until that moment.  You made it right.  I was proud and ye should be too” Murtagh said.

 I smiled at him. “Thank you, for all your help.” I said softly and he nodded once to me.

He stood up, “Alright ye ruffians, let’s go get us some lunch!” Murtagh said and got Brianna and wee Murtagh off the bed.  Fergus helped Faith then they both kissed me on the cheek.  Murtagh picked up Ben and he kissed my forehead.  It was wonderful, feeling so loved.

 Violet brought me dinner that evening and she ate with me.  

“How are you cooking without electricity?” I asked.

 

“The platform Charlie set up across the street,” She said and I nodded, “The end part is covered now and he built a ‘wood grill’ he calls it.” Violet said and took another bite of chicken.

“That man has been busy.” I said.  I would need to go over everything with Charlie when I was feeling better.

“Och, aye, he has.  He’s the one that cooked the meal.  He told me there was no reason for me to get out in the mess.” Violet said.

“Is that right?” I asked, surprised that he could cook alone.

“Aye, he’s a smart lad.” She said and smiled.  “The water level is going down but it is slow.”

We talked more about things going on in the house.  Violet made me laugh a few times at the antics of the children.  It seemed they were getting a bit of cabin fever.

 

Jamie crawled into bed with me early that night and told me his Father was sleeping in the room with Faith, Brianna and wee Murtagh to give Fergus a break. 

“That’s nice of him.” I said, my eyes already closing as Jamie drew me into him, spoon fashion.

“Sassenach?” He said in my ear.

“Mmm-mmm.” I tried the Scottish throat sound, but it needed work.

“Claire.” He said and I turned my head to look at him.

“Thank ye, ye gave me two more children, and I will never be able to thank ye enough.  Yer a strong woman, and I am blessed to have ye by my side.” He said and kissed me gently.  I went to sleep for about an hour, then it was feeding time again.

Jamie got up with me every time, as he did with Brianna and wee Murtagh when he was with me.  It was nice because I didn’t even have to get out of bed.

We talked about names over that night’s feedings but didn’t come to any agreement.  We both agreed on an Ian or another Jamie for our larger baby but we had mixed feelings about it because there already was a wee Jamie.  It felt right that we should have an Ian. So our big baby was Ian but we were still working on his middle name, or names.  Our smaller baby was a bit of a mystery to us still. 

The next day was Sunday and the sun came out and turned on high.  Brian and Jamie went to care for the livestock.  Murtagh and Violet took the oldest five children over to the platform to play in the sun a bit.

Charlie brought lunch for me and a sandwich for himself.

“Please pull the chair closer, we need to talk.” I said and he nodded and pulled the chair next to the bed.

“How have you been holding all these secrets inside you?” I said as softly as I could and he cried.  Giant, coughing snotty tears and I tried to get off the bed to hug him but Jamie was at the window.

“Sassenach, ye agreed to stay in bed!  I’ll be in, just wait a few minutes if ye need the privy.” He said and waited until I got back in bed.

“Blasted Scot, hug me!” I said and Charlie got some tissue then sat on the bed and hugged me.  

 He laughed, “Jamie never changes ye know.  He will always be like that with ye.” 

“Good.” I said.  “Talk to me, how did this happen?  How did you keep these secrets?” I asked.

Charlie started from the beginning and told me more details then he had in months.  I guess since the big event that was supposed to change everything was avoided so he felt more free.

Faith, his mother I had to keep reminding myself, and his three uncles and Aunt Brianna told him that this was when I changed.  I did see how he was careful to not give me his new Uncle’s names.

Fergus told him he remembered Jamie running through the water carrying me and we were both soaked with blood and mud.  He told Charlie he thought I left a part of myself at the hospital that day and, even only in a literal sense, that would’ve been correct.

“So the surgery and losing another child turned me distant and cold, not time travel and adventure?” I asked even though I knew the answer.

“Yes,” Charlie said and looked sheepish. “I kent I would tell ye sometime, yer like a dog with a bone.” He said and nudged my foot.  

“You did the most miraculous thing a person could do for their family,  I’m so sorry I’m cold hearted in the future.” I said to him and took his hand.

“It’s nay that ye are cold hearted or even distant, but it’s like a spark is gone and ye haven’t fire left in ye.  Seeing ye here, in this time, ye are an incredible woman and I hope ye stay this way.  I want our family to have ye to look up to” He told me and hugged me again.  

 We finished our lunch and he told me stories about erecting the platform across the street with Murtagh.  It sounded like building with his namesake was an eye opener.

 He told me small things about the children.  Briana will build magnificent things.  Faith will surprise us.  He told me Jamie and I were to go to England in about a year and a half and find a traveling stone that broke.  He told me I will get there a few hours before Raymond and when I refuse to give up the pieces he lets me keep them and they become our families own system.  He pulled his out and showed me; it was painted and there were two tiny handprints on it.

“If you can tell me this, why didn’t you tell me about the babies?” I asked.

“Everything our family learns about time travel said that I couldn’t tell.  We researched for months, for MONTHS, to have a plan.  I did what I thought was right, and surprisingly it turned out better than I could’ve hoped.  If ye dinna get the stone it only impacts how the family can talk, it’s not nearly as big a deal.  ” Charlie said and sat back.

“Who’s we?” I asked, thinking he was comfortable enough he might tell me.

“Wouldn’t ye like to know?” He said and smiled.

“Do ye ken how the bairn lived instead of died?” Jamie asked from the doorway and startled both of us.

“I don’t, but Ahote’s theory is that ye healed the babe from inside. In my timeline ye heal so much later in life, so that wouldn’t have been an option.”  Charlie said.  

“I am so grateful you were here.  Is there anything we can do, or help you with?” I asked, getting tired.

“Yer my family, ye do what ye can for family.” He said and kissed my forehead as I had a flashback to Jenny saying something similar.

 

That night we talked to Jenny and Ian and passed letters and food. They congratulated us on the new babies and asked about their names. We told them we hadn't figured much out, only the larger baby would be named Ian,  I heard jenny patting her Ian and he thanked us in a croaky voice. 

***--***

Monday the water level dropped considerably.  When they, because I never went, went outside the water was still over a foot high but the raft became unusable.  I tried to stay in bed as much as Jamie wanted because I knew he was nervous, but it was impossible.  He got worked up when I left to shower, but was still good natured about it.

 On Tuesday, I woke up early with our new son’s who woke up with the sun.  Ahote was awake in the front room and he helped me bring the children in so I could sit with him.  Ahote always had an interesting approach to issues.

 “Do ye have names for them yet?” He asked.

“Well, for our big boy here, we are thinking Ian Coinneach (pronounced CON-ak), and he will be christened Ian Coinneach Gilchrist and with all the Gaelic in that name I’m sure you know who came up with it.” I said and kissed Ian's forehead.

“This little man is still a mystery to me,” I said as I pulled our smaller infant to me, “This guy feels different.” I said as I stroked his head.  “If you look at the ends of his eyelashes and his hair he has white tips, he’s a child who was written to…” I thought die , but I still couldn’t say it.  I think Ahote knew because he nodded.  “He feels… almost sacred, which I know sounds silly.” I said.

“Absolutely not silly.” Ahote said and leaned over to study the baby in question.  “I see what you mean, he is ashkii dighin, a sacred child.” Ahote said and we both continued to stare at the littlest miracle.

I took a breath, “William Ashkii Dighin.” I said and looked at my son.

“That’s beautiful, are you sure it’s not too much to put on a child?” Ahote asked.

“James Alexander Malcolm MacKenzie Fraser.” I simply said.

“Touche’, good reference.” Ahote said.

Our morning continued in this manner until Jamie woke and yelled loud enough to wake the house.  He grew frantic because I wasn’t in the bedroom.

I went back to our room quietly and waited while he calmed down.  Charlie had told me the water would be low enough for the cars to pass safely tomorrow and I would get a ride to the doctor's office.  Dr. Alice had waded out several days ago because she was worried about her patients.

I told Jamie I intended to go to the doctor today to have our new boys weighed and to be seen myself and he told me no.

No explanation, just no.  Then he turned and went to the bathroom door.

“I will not stay in this bedroom for another day!” I told the stubborn highlander I married.

 “Ye will Sassenach, even if I have ta lock ye in.” Jamie said and I grunted and shook my fist at him.

He closed the door and left.  I heard some scraping and I ran to the door.  The bastard had wedged something under the door to keep it closed.

We’ll see about this.

 I fed Ian and William (who I was already calling Ash from his middle name), then washed myself and them and got dressed to go.  

I heard Jamie outside going to the barn, then Murtagh let me out of the bedroom.

“Thank you, I was expecting Charlie.” I said.

“Aye, well, I was worrit that Charlie would nay survive the thrashing.” He said and I thanked him for his help.

Violet drove her car right to the front door and Murtagh helped me get the children in.  I also took Brianna and wee Murtagh because they were due for a booster shot.

I hugged Faith and Fergus and told them we’d be back soon and we left.  As Violet made it to the road I saw Jamie running to the house yelling.

I couldn’t believe he had the nerve to lock me in the bedroom because I wanted to see the doctor.  I had left him a note:

Dearest Husband,

I love you with all my heart, but if you ever lock me in a room without an immediate threat to my person as the reason I will do things I can only imagine right now.

I am going to the doctor and taking both sets of twins with me as Ian and Ash need to be checked, and Brianna and wee Murtagh need a shot.

Please don’t be mad at anyone who helped me as I am the one who did the convincing. 

I will be home with plenty of time to fight later today.

I love you, 

“How angry do ye think he will be?” Violet asked me from the driver's side.

 “Very.” I said then elaborated, “I told him I was going last night, and he told me I wasn’t leaving the house.” I said and looked out the window.  “I have a few questions for the doctor to see if something’s normal.” I said, expressing my concern.

“I think we should try to get away from the word ‘normal’ dear.” Violet said.  I laughed, I couldn’t help it.  She had a point.

When we got to Dr. Alice's, she was waiting for us.  “It’s odd seeing you in an office now, I got so used to your traveling van.”  I said and gave the woman a light hug.

“Me too, but there is some water damage that I will need to get repaired before I can get back to the road.  Let’s get the children and you weighed and measured.” She said.

 Brianna and wee Murtagh were doing fine, both very tall and a little chunky.  Ian was eight and a half pounds while Ash was barely six.  I knew twin babies were usually smaller but Ian had looked so big I would’ve guessed nine pounds.  Ian was longer than Ash too.

When Dr. Alice was checking Ash’s heart rate, it took longer than when she checked Ian and I got a little concerned.  “What is it?  May I hear?” I asked and she wiped her stethoscope and handed it to me with a smile on her face.

I listened with growing concern.  Then I realized what I was hearing.  “He’s hungry.” I said and almost laughed.  “Why isn’t he fussing?” I asked.

“Maybe we are giving him enough entertainment that he is willing to overlook it for the second, but go ahead I will get back to him.” Dr. Alice said and I took him to sit with me and started to feed him.

Brianna and wee Murtagh got their shots, then Violet took them across the street for ice cream.  I was still feeding Ian but Ash was in the pram asleep.

“How are you doing?” Dr. Alice said, looking at me from her desk.

I didn’t get a chance to tell her.  There was a commotion in the front office area and Doctor Alice went to check it out.  Five seconds later an unkempt Jamie opened the door.

 “Thank God, Sassenach, where are wee Murtagh and Brianna?” He asked, then promptly turned and yelled for them.

“Jamie, Jamie!” I said and he paused to look at me.  “They are with Violet at the ice cream parlor across the street.” I said and saw him take a deep breath.  “Sit.” I said and pushed him into a seat.

“You have got to tell me what is going on!” I said and sat in the seat next to him and took his hand.  As much as I wanted to yell at him for being ridiculous, his fear seemed real.

“I canna have ye going off like this and separating, there are seven of ye in my care and Da and Charlie and-” Jamie was saying and I interrupted him.

 

“Wait, Jamie, you can’t lump me together with the children, I’m an adult.” I said and he looked at me like I was the one being silly.

“Claire, yer my wife, yer my responsibility; yer safety, yer happiness, yer needs, they are all my responsibility.  Now add six bairns, ye canna run off like this.” He said, still acting like I was the crazy one.

I took both his hands, “We are going to put a pin right here and talk about this at home. Is that alright?” I asked.

“Aye, let’s go home.” He said and started to get my things to leave.

“I will leave after the babies and myself are checked out by the doctor.  Not before.  You can sit here if you stay quiet.” I told him.  I would normally never talk to my husband this way but I really felt like he was being unreasonable due to this fear.

We finished the appointment and I met Violet at the ice cream shop and got a cone.  Jamie impatiently tapped his leg.

We got home and I got both sets of twins down for a nap.  Faith was at preschool and Fergus had a friend over in the library.  Brian was in the barn with the horses.

 Jamie and I went to the bedroom and I tried to get to the bottom of this.

“Jamie, what is going on?” I said and I sat in the chair by the door.

He was standing by the window and looking out.  He was silent for a minute and I wondered if he was going to answer me.

“I have sworn to protect ye, and I have six bairns-” He was saying but I cut him off.

“Five Jamie, Fergus isn’t a man but he isn’t a baby.” I said.

“Aye, ye’re right, I was counting Ben.” He said and finally turned around to look at me.

“I don’t understand.” I said and he sat on the other chair.

“Our family is so big, in my care are five bairns, Fergus, you, my Father, Ben if anything happens to Murtagh.  I think if we were in my own time I could do better but here I feel like I canna protect you.” Jamie said and took my hands in his, “Claire, ye labored for almost a day and I failed ye.  I almost lost ye.” He said and pulled me into his lap.

 

“Jamie,” I said while holding him, trying to stop his shaking, “You didn’t fail me.” I told him.

“I did.  I should’ve gotten ye to Inverness when the waters started to rise.  In my time ye dinna abandon yer home so I stayed.  In this time the house would’ve been fine but my wife almost died.” He said and was crying.

I got off his lap and kneeled in front of him.  “Jamie, look at me.” I said and held his hands to pull them away from his face.  His eyes were so bright and I waited for him to calm down.  

“We are going to make mistakes but this wasn’t on you.  I thought about asking you to go to Inverness but I had no idea where all of us could go.  I should’ve talked to you but I wasn’t due for another couple weeks so I thought it would be fine.  This is not your fault, if it is anyone’s fault it is mine.” I said and he turned his head a bit.

“Ye thought about going into Inverness and what… staying at an Inn?  Why didn’t ye say something?  If ye’d told me your reason I would’ve gone!  We could have gone to Edinburgh, the hospital would’ve been so close.  I just didn’t think of it.” He said.  “Why are ye keeping yer fears inside Sassenach?  There’s the two of us now, remember?  We fight them together.” He said and he pulled me to stand and held me to him.  I held tight.

“I’m sorry, I thought I was being ridiculous.  Plus we have the livestock to take care of, we couldn’t just leave them to fend for themselves.” I said, trying to justify not telling him.

“Anything I couldna brought with us I could’ve taken to the bed and breakfast.  They didna have a moat around the house ye ken.” Jamie said and smiled.

“You know, being in a hospital would’ve still meant a surgery for me.  Raymond wouldn’t have been able to save my womb in a hospital.” I said and wondered if that was the reason Charlie didn’t try to get us closer to the hospital.  I looked at Jamie and he was looking at me smiling.

 “Do you feel better?” I asked him, not understanding how he would feel better.

“Och, aye, I do.  We have to talk more Sassenach, I ken we are busy but this is what was wrong!  I canna do it alone and neither can ye, but when we are together we are better.” He said with confidence and love shining through his eyes.

I felt like such a fraud.  I didn’t have that confidence.

“What?” Jamie said and took my hand.

“We have four children under two years old Jamie, how the hell are we going to do this?” I asked and he smiled at me.

“We are going to make plans for the future, but live as it comes. We are going to get to know them and love them.  We are going to use yer calendar system, that was a great idea.  We have help Sassenach, we will enjoy it, that’s how we will do it.  Bairns grow, they willna always be this young.” He said and held me.  I felt better knowing Jamie understood my fears and I understood his.

“No more locking me in a room?” I asked.

“Nay, I willna do that again.  I will have to think of something that might work.” He said and pulled me to him again and held me and laughed.

Chapter 45: A journal entry from Claire and Jamie

Notes:

Hello Dear Readers,

I hope everyone is safe and warm!

This chapter is a little different, no, not the conversation again! This is written as if it were a journal entry; one from each of our main characters. I probably won't write a chapter like this again, but I like to try things. I hope you like it.

Chapter Text

From Claire

 Jamie and I take time every day to talk now.  As busy as he is with our farming endeavors and the livestock and the bed and breakfast work and the sword fighting lessons he still makes time for me.  I have at least an hour a day of his time alone with him and usually more.   We walk together most evenings, even when it is cold we walk to the barn and talk about things.  The lack of sex is wearing us both down a bit.  I pleasure him in other ways but we will both be happier when I am ready to get back to normal.

Jamie is finishing the harvest of my garden for me.  We’d planted quite a bit this year, but I have my own little garden of medicinal supplies and Jamie is taking care of it personally for me. I’m very grateful it was in an area that didn’t get flooded.  I was itching to do it myself but he was still nervous about my health so I am trying to take it easy.  He is following my instructions very well so I have no reason to go against his wishes and I don’t want to increase his anxiety again.

We’d talked about more children and thankfully we both agreed not right now.  I plan to speak with Dr. Alice about finding a way to ensure I don’t get pregnant but I need a way that doesn’t affect my breast milk.  I really hope the answer won't be -nothing.  I was beyond glad we agreed about this, but I have to admit I am thinking about a little girl.  We have four boys and only two girls!  Then I think about how many children I already have and I can easily put this on the back burner.

Ian and Ash turned a month old and they are doing fine.  Ash is growing well and will catch up to his brother in no time.  Jamie had decided the ‘lads needed some air’ so he and Brian frequently take them outside usually once every day.  I think he does this just to give me a break.

I am working with Brianna and Alex to be sure they are toilet trained and behaving properly so when they turn two next month they can enroll in the same preschool Faith is attending. I am looking in a catalog to order some clothes for them that have no buttons or zippers so they could start dressing themselves.  They are sitting next to me playing with blocks and my role is that of the ‘sharing police’.   Sharing is next to impossible with almost two year olds.

Faith is doing very well.  She turned four in May when Jamie and I were in the past and while I hated to miss her first real birthday I was also glad. I know that sounds terrible.  I knew Murtagh and Violet had a cake and got her a gift and made it a nice day for her.  On that day I was deep in memory of how I’d lost her.  How could I celebrate a child’s birthday when all I could think about was how she’d been born dead to me?  I need to think more about this so I’m ready next year.

Fergus and Faith are somehow very close even though they are apart in age.  Fergus turned fourteen; even though we don’t know his real birthday we celebrate the day he came to our house to help Jamie.  Since Fergus is very studious and academically minded, Faith picked up his habits.  In preschool, and with help from her brother, she learned to read.  

Fergus is back in school but he makes time to help her read a few pages every day.  She is currently sitting on the floor in the front room reading ‘Stuart Little’ and I hope Jamie will come home soon.  He went into Inverness to get groceries and was picking up our book order which included a map.  Faith has a difficult time with understanding different cities on different continents and if she asks me to explain where New York City is again I think I might have to bite my finger so I don’t yell.  I will have to look for a book with characters only from Scotland or England in the future.  I’m not going to do that, but I will keep a map handy.

Fergus stays after school now because he is on a football team.  Jamie is picking him up on the way home and we are all happy he found something to do with his friends.  I worry for his safety but he relishes being on the field.  It’s like it brings out a feral side to him we didn’t know existed, and Fergus loves it.

Murtagh and Violet are busy and seem to be doing very well.  They smile at each other a lot and every now and again I catch Murtagh touching Violet’s bum and she will laugh and blush.  They always sit next to each other for meals and hold hands under the table when they finish eating.  They spent a night at the bed and breakfast recently.  I didn’t mind caring for Ben; he is a happy baby.

Flora is in the kitchen cooking dinner and I am hungry. Lily is doing laundry.

This is life.  It isn’t exciting but I love it.  Especially the evenings when everyone sits in the front room and we listen to the radio or dance to music or play with the children all evening. Sometimes Murtagh and Jamie act out stories from their times together and get so animated the children hang on every word; even Ash and Ian. Charlie tells stories from books he’s read or stories he told his children.  Sometimes we sit outside and talk while the children catch fireflies or play hide and seek.  Fergus taught us a kick the can game he plays with his mates and we play that often.  Roger started spending Friday nights with us because the lad likes Fergus.  I think maybe he was a bit lonely for other people at the manse and it is near to impossible to be alone long at Lallybroch. Not that I don’t understand the difference between alone and lonely.

I worry that Brian is lonely.  I make sure he knows I need and want his help and advice in anything that seems reasonable.  He worked a lot during our harvest, but that has been a while. He seems happy and Jamie told me he was fine; this was how his Father was without his Mother.  Brian obviously enjoys working with the horses with Jamie at home or at the bed and breakfast.  He is always ready to leave half an hour early for work.

I still go on walks in the mornings with Charlie, I just don’t go as far.  I walk five or ten minutes with him then turn around and come back.  

 

This is life.  Calm and slow and filled with love.  Jamie seems happy.  I asked him last night if the lack of sex was very difficult and he said, “Sassenach, I love to be with ye, I willna rush yer healing.” Then he pulled me to lay against him and we fell asleep.  I love that man to a level I never knew possible.

Jamie and Fergus are home!  And Jamie should have the map!

***--***

From Jamie

Entry for Thursday 19 October 1950

 Claire is healthy.  She has lost some weight after having the two new bairns but not too much.  I hope she stays the way she is now because her arse is nice and plump.  Her breasts are on loan to the bairns but they are nice and big too.

I try to work as hard as I can during the day so I willna rise to her at night but I want to bury my cock in my Sassenach so much it is like a physical ache to not be able to do so..  She shouldna but I think she feels guilty that we canna lie together as man and wife right now but she just gave me two bairns and is recovering.  It will only be another week or so as long as I can keep her content and not too active.  It is hard enough to keep her in the house right now.

Even with the flooding we were blessed with out harvest. Claire and Violet were canning all last weekend.  Claire looked so beautiful sitting in the chair at the table cutting vegetables.  She would lean over the bins and I could see her arse so clearly from the front room where I had the children.  I had to sit down with a blanket because my cock was hard thinking about having her 

–And then Jamie ripped out the entry in the journal and threw the paper in the fire.  He gave up on the idea to write a journal until Claire was cleared by Dr. Alice.

Chapter 46: Excitement

Notes:

Hello Dear Readers!

Yes, this chapter is a bit of a tease and I hope it will be worth it!

My Disclaimer - Diana Gabaldon owns all rights to Outlander

Chapter Text

One morning in late October Charlie and I were on our way out the door for our walk.  I responded with a resigned sigh when I saw Raymond and Ahote asleep on the porch.  I closed the door and turned back to Charlie.

 “It’s time to get ready to bring someone out from the stones, isn’t it?” I asked.

“Probably, we can talk about it on our walk.” He said and pulled the door open.  He saw the two men sleeping then closed it.

Charlie looked at me for a minute, then said, “Let’s go out the back.”

And we did.

I walked with him for ten minutes and came back so I had one more walk thinking about how happy I was just being a Mom, a wife, a friend and an odd Grandmother.  I was writing in a journal everyday and reading a lot and I was happy.  I never knew I could be happy without healing people but maybe with my six children and little Ben trying to crawl I had enough people to heal.  Add to that Flora was always hurting herself somehow in the kitchen even though she insisted she liked to cook, and if Jamie went a week without injury I celebrated.

When I got back Raymond and Ahote weren’t on the front porch anymore.  I went around back because that was the door I’d left open and sat on the back porch delaying it for another minute. Why was I so reluctant to move forward?

I didn’t know.  Yes I did. I felt like my bubble had burst.  I would bring someone through the stones and get them started on whatever they needed, then get ready for Christmas and say goodbye to Charlie.  I knew he had to leave but I didn’t want him to go.  Jamie and I had really gotten to know him and I would miss him terribly; he felt like Murtagh or Brian- not really ‘mine’ but absolutely mine.  

He had a wife and children to get back to , I reminded myself.

“Here you are Madonna.” Raymond said.  He came outside with a cup of coffee and sat in the chair beside me.  “How are you?” He asked.

“Good Morning Master Raymond, I’m well, how are you?” I asked and smiled at the man.  I still wondered why he healed me twice, this man that didn’t believe in intervening in history.

“You are well, aren’t you Madonna.” He said and it was less of a question and more of a realization.  I just nodded at him.  “Do you still want to try to pull someone out of the void?” He asked me.

I didn’t answer right away.  I looked out into the distance and thought ‘want’ was a strong word to use.  I didn’t want to; it was more that I felt I should because I could.  “Yes, it is what I hope to do.” I said and looked back to the little frog man who was dear to me. Even if I did sigh when I saw him this morning, he was dear to me.

“Before you select a person to save you must ask them when they were born, when they started traveling,  you can’t bring a person to a time where they might already be in.” Raymond said.

 “Why?” I asked.  I didn’t want to save someone because they were a good traveler.

“Because you cannot bring a person to a time in which they already exist.” he said. Well, that made a lot of sense now that you put it like that. I thought.

“Alright, what else?” I asked.  Surely he had some other guidance.

“What else is up to you and yours Madonna.  You have to decide what you’re going to do with people who can’t adjust to this time period.  You have to decide where these people are going to stay while they do adjust. If they can.  They will likely need medical care, maybe more.  This is a big undertaking.” He said. 

 I looked at him then looked in the distance.  I needed to speak with Jamie.

“Okay, I understand.  How do you have a conversation in there?” I asked Raymond.

“You have to quiet the noise, the chaos.  Like you did when we got Faith.” He said and got up to go back inside but stopped at the door.  “Madonna, you can do this.” He said and smiled at me.  Then he went inside.

Raymond and Ahote stayed with us for a few days and we talked over the possible outcomes of pulling a stranger out of the stones.  Charlie would go in with me and he had black diamonds for us to use.  I didn’t ask how he had them.

On Friday the twenty seventh of October I got up early.  I had an early morning doctor appointment with Dr. Alice and the resident gynecologist at the hospital in Inverness.  I snuck out of bed and went to the bathroom and brushed my teeth.  Murtagh was already awake and he winked at me from the table.  Everyone in the house knew my appointment was today and I might get cleared for sex with my husband.  The last part I assumed.

I winked back and picked two of the clean baby bottles and went back to my bedroom.  Jamie was stirring but I wrapped my legs around him and kissed him.

“Mmm, Sassenach, this is a good way to wake up but a mean one right now.” He said and stroked my cheek.

I wrapped my hand around his already hard cock and said, “You don’t have to start your day all frustrated.” I said but Jamie shook his head.

 “Nay,” He said and took both my hands in his, “I miss being inside ye Claire, sometimes I canna breathe for the want of ye.  But I will wait.” He said and stood up.

I sighed and sat against our marvelous headboard and took my top off.  I was expressing my milk into the bottles to give to Ash and Ian.  So far Ian took the bottle just fine but Ash was my holdout.  Jamie saw what I was doing and sat down to watch me.

“Ye are so magnificent, ye carry the bairns and make food for them.” He whispered.  I smiled at him, I knew he loved to watch me express or feed the babies.

I had one bottle full and I put the top back on and handed it to him.  “Can you try Ash?  Maybe take your shirt off again and try skin to skin?” I suggested.  The one time he took a bottle from Jamie was in those circumstances.

Ian and Ash still slept in our room and Ash was awake.  Jamie changed his clout and tried with the bottle but Ash wouldn’t take the bottle for anything.  I sighed, thinking about my plans for tonight and hoped he wouldn’t dampen the mood.

“Sorry Sassenach, the lad is smart, he wants the real thing.” Jamie said and handed Ash to me to feed.  He took my nipple easily.  

Jamie fed Ian who gladly took the bottle.  I told Jamie I was trying to get them to take a bottle so he could help with the feedings and it was partly true.  I also had a reservation with the bed and breakfast for tonight.  Murtagh and Violet agreed to stay and watch the children and I had Lily staying all night too.  

I had resigned myself to having to take Ash with us but I was still hoping.  We finished feeding the young lads and got dressed.

Jamie carried them both to the front room where I had a playpen set up just for them.  I had pillows set so they lay at an angle to see everything and mobiles and soft toys.  I was right behind him when he put them down and handed them toys.

He turned to me and quietly said, “I’m sorry, I dinna intend to be cross.”

“It’s okay, you’re not.” I said and kissed him.

Jamie went to the kitchen, put a piece of sausage inside a biscuit and looked at Murtagh.  “Are ye going to lay about all day man?  There’s work to be done.” Then Jamie walked out the back door.

 Murtagh looked at me and you would think he accused me of murder with those eyes. “Lass, ye need to sooth the beast.” He said and followed Jamie outside just as Fergus was coming in from the library.

“Hello,” I said and kissed his forehead.  I saw what he had in his hand and I laughed a bit, “You’ve got a three day break from school and you're already reading?” I asked him and he shrugged.

Flora knocked once on the door and came inside.  Charlie was still on his walk because the door was unlocked.  

“Is Da outside already?” Fergus asked after he kissed my cheek to say good morning.

“Yes, and he is a little grumpy darling, so… make wise choices.” I said and he laughed then went outside to help Jamie.

I got the young lads packed up for the doctor visit and we left.  The doctors examined the babies first and told me they were doing fine; Ian was a little big and Ash was a little small but I already knew that.  I had them laying in the pram while I had my examination which was more than a little invasive. 

“You’re fine Mrs. Fraser, everything looks very normal.” The gynecologist told me and, after I had my clothes back on, I had a giant smile on my face.

I was officially cleared to have sex again.  Then came a slightly awkward talk about contraception and the doctor recommended a diaphragm.  There was a fitting and I put it in myself and took it out. I left with the diaphragm in my purse.

On the way home I stopped at the bed and breakfast and, after they oohed and aahed at the young lads, I made sure we had the little cabin I wanted.  Since I knew I would have Ash I wanted to make sure we wouldn’t bother anyone.

Jamie and Charlie were sitting on the porch when we got home.  They both came to the car to help me bring in the babies.  Murtagh and Faith were gone to the preschool and Brianna and Alex were just getting put down for a nap.  Fergus was eating a sandwich and watching a television program.

 

I took Ian and Ash into our bedroom to feed them and get them down for a nap too.  I was hoping to catch some sleep because I planned to keep my husband up late tonight.

 I was just taking my shirt off when Jamie walked in our bedroom and closed the door.

“Well? What did the doctor say?” He asked.

“I told you they said everything was fine.” I said, smiling as I watched him undress.

“Sassenach, ye ken what I want to ken, tell me.” Jamie said.

“Yes, we are clear to have ‘relations’ as the doctor put it, and I have birth control so we will have another child when we are ready.” I told my eager husband.

“Whit do ye mean by birth control?” He asked.

I was a little nervous but we had agreed that we weren’t ready for more children.  I showed the diaphragm to Jamie and explained how it works

“That's a wonderful idea.” He said, a little in awe of the diaphragm.

“I’m glad you don’t mind, because I'm not ready to be pregnant again yet.” I said.

“Mind? I’m glad there is such a thing and that ye have one.  With God’s blessing, we will have another bairn when we are ready.” He said.

We were silent for a while and I wondered what he was thinking about. 

“How can I help ye with the bairns?” He asked.

“Jamie, you really don’t want to wait until tonight?” I asked him.  He looked at me and I knew he was going to say no, but fate was on my side.

“Da,” Fergus said, knocking on the door, “Can I go to my friend Walter's house?  They are camping in the backyard and eating hot dogs tonight.”  Jamie sighed and put his clothes back on.

He waited until I pulled a blanket over my chest then opened the door.  “Walter Cameron?” Jamie asked.

 “Aye Da, we are studying history until dinner, then cooking hotdogs and marshmallows over the fire and telling ghost stories.” Fergus said.  Jamie looked at me and I nodded.  Jamie and I both wanted Fergus to spend as much time having fun as he could.  

 “What time do ye want to be there?  Do ye have enough time to tidy yer room and read with Faith?” Jamie asked.

 “Aye, I already cleaned my room and packed.  I will read with Faith when she comes home, after that will ye take me Da?” Fergus asked.

“Aye son, I will take ye.” Jamie said and ruffled his hair.  Fergus took off, likely to call his friend.

I smiled at Jamie.  This would be great.  I could sneak our overnight bags to the car and say I wanted to go along.  I would take Ash and we would drop off Fergus then go to the bed and breakfast.

Faith and Murtagh got home, and right after that was Violet.  Thankfully, I had thought to call her to let her know Fergus wouldn’t be here tonight so Roger was still at home.

Fergus was ready and waiting to read to Faith.  After fifteen minutes Jamie decided they were finished and it was time to leave. 

“Sassenach,” Jamie called.  He was likely going to tell me he was on his way out but I was right behind him.

“Yes?” I said and he jumped.

“Dinna do that!  Fergus and I are leaving.” He said and bent to kiss me but I pulled back.

“I’m going with you, I think a ride will do Ash good.” I said and picked up my smallest son.  Jamie looked at me oddly, but shrugged and picked up the baby seat and went outside.

Brian was by the door.  “He’s out of earshot. Lass, have a good night and please forgive my son if he is a clot heid.” Brian said and kissed my cheek.

Murtagh hugged me and whispered, “Sooth the beast lass, I ken ye can do it.” 

Violet just told me not to worry.

Fergus was having a hard time leaving Faith, but I told her if she let him go her brother would have a great story to tell her tomorrow.  After warning him not to forget the story she let him go.

We heard Jamie on the porch.  He opened the door and said, “The baby seat is in, are ye ready?”

Oh, I was ready.  I was definitely ready.

 

Chapter 47: A night of food and fun

Chapter Text

We dropped Fergus off at the Camerons and I was able to have a few quiet words with Mrs. Cameron.  They knew where we would be for the night in case there was an emergency, and they already had our home number.

I offered to drive after we got back in the car.  Jamie was talking about two mares that were in foal and due in the spring next year.

 “Sassenach.” Jamie said, looking around.

“Yes?” I replied innocently.

“This is nay the way home, are we going somewhere else?” He asked.

“Yes, we are.” I said and winked at him.

“We have a bairn wit’ us.” He replied hesitantly.

“It will be fine.” I said and smiled.  Jamie put a hand on my knee.

“Alright.” He said and smiled.  I was surprised he didn’t want to know more details.

Jamie was quiet until we pulled in at the bed and breakfast.  I turned the car off and he looked at me with a smile.

“We have cabin number three for the night.  We are expected back to the house at noon, but Charlie will pick up Fergus so we don’t have to worry about that.” I said while I was massaging Jamie’s arm.

 “What about Ash?” Jamie asked.

“I’ve already let them know we will have a baby with us and they will put a crib in the room.” I said and looked at Ash.  He was sound asleep.

Jamie touched my cheek and I looked at him.  “Thank ye Claire.” He said and kissed me.  The kiss deepened a little and I pulled back.

“We need to check in.” I said and looked in his eyes.

We got checked in and everyone knew Jamie well.  There was a little teasing but the man working at the front desk told him not to worry about it because they were all just jealous anyway.

“I dinna care, it’s all in good fun and at the end of the day I am still marrit to my Sassenach.” Jamie said and looked at me.

Jamie carried our bags and I carried Ash.  We got to our cabin and saw it was very nice; a front room where they’d put the crib and a beautiful bedroom with a fireplace and a large stack of wood.  There was a small refrigerator, for drinks I suppose and what looked to be a small hammock in the corner of the front room.

Jamie and I were both looking at it when someone knocked on the door.  Jamie looked at me and raised an eyebrow.

“That should be our dinner.” I said.

 Jamie answered the door and a man pushing a cart came in.  “Hello Mr. and Mrs. Fraser, I hope everything is meeting your approval.  My name is John.” He said as he was unloading the dishes from his cart.

“Yes, everything is fine, thank you.  What is this for?” I asked, pointing to the small hammock.

“It’s used to put bairns in to swing a bit.  The owner had his own children and knew they tend to fuss in strange places so he bought these for people with bairns.” John said and finished getting all the dishes off the cart.

“Do you need anything else?” John asked.  I told him we were fine and gave him a generous tip. John smiled, tipped his cap and left.

I picked up Ash and sat at the table.

“What do we have fer dinner?” Jamie asked, looking at the lids.

“Lift off the lids and find out.” I said and smiled.  I ordered a large meal to make sure we both could keep up our stamina.

Jamie smiled at me after he lifted the tops off.  “Do ye plan to be hungry, Sassenach?” Jamie asked me and winked at me which always made me laugh.  He couldn’t really wink with one eye so he always looked like he had blinked both eyes.

“I wanted to make sure we had our energy, love.” I said and smiled at him.

 I had ordered their special of the day for us which consisted of cock-a-leekie soup, a salad, their take on haggis(which was a little different because they used beef), neeps and tatties, baked sweet potatoes, with fruit pie for desert and two ham and cheese sandwiches and two meat pies for later.

“I was thinking we could put the sandwiches and meat pies in the refrigerator for later.  In case we get hungry, if you make a fire we can heat the pies up.” I told him.

 “Tis a good idea Sassenach, this way we have breakfast too.” Jamie said and gathered the food to put in the refrigerator.  

My face colored a bit.  “Uh, Jamie, we are getting breakfast delivered at eight thirty tomorrow morning.” I said and held Ash closer to me when he fussed a bit.

Jamie smiled and sat on the other side of the table. “Well, we should get started, aye?” He said and we started to eat.

We talked about the differences between buying food here and buying food in the past.  We laughed a lot.  Ash started to fuss more and I took my shirt and bra completely off to feed him. 

Jamie scooted his chair next to mine and fed me fruit pie as I nursed Ash.  “We should send some more food to Ian and Jenny.  I feel a little guilty about how we are never hungry.” Jamie said.

“I gave them the sausage they like, a few pounds of ground beef, grapes and some carrots last Sunday.  Maybe we should make a grocery store trip to be sure we have plenty to give them.” I said.

“Aye, let’s do that please.  I enjoy our life, but I would enjoy it more if I knew they were eating until their bellies were full, same as us.” Jamie said and touched Ash’s face.  I nodded in agreement.

Ash was almost falling asleep and we were trying to keep him awake to eat more.  “Jamie, will you set up the crib please? I don’t think this lad is going to be keeping his eyes open any longer.” I asked.

 “Aye.”: Jamie said and kissed me.  

 We got Ash down to sleep and went into the bedroom. I still had my top off and for some reason I felt shy. Jamie stood next to me and tried to hug me and I fumbled a bit.

“I’m sorry, I don’t know why I am feeling shy.” I said and Jamie put his finger under my chin to lift my head.

“Sassenach, I love ye more than I can express, let’s hold hands.  It’s been a while and we just need to calm down.” Jamie said.

We sat on the bed.  Jamie stood back up and took his clothes off then scooted up to the top of the bed and spread his legs and held his arms out.  I was touched.  That was how I loved to relax when I was pregnant. 

I took off my shoes and skirt then sat in front of him.  He held me tight to him and I sighed.  My back was to his front and his warmth was so comfortable.  This was it, this was what I needed.  Jamie rubbed my shoulders and I rubbed his legs.

 

After a few minutes I turned around. “I love you very much.” I said softly and kissed him. I wished I had the perfect words like Jamie always seemed to have, but I could show him how much I loved him.

I was prepared for it to be a light kiss in case Jamie was nervous but as it turned out he wasn’t nervous at all.  The kiss became a deep one and when we finally separated we were both gasping for air.

“Sassenach, ye are everything to me.  I ken, the bairns, but they are an extension of us, I wouldna have them without ye.  You are my heart.” Jamie said and I kissed him again.

My hands were moving on his chest and he was touching my hair.  I leaned in to kiss him again and he nipped my tongue. I grunted at him and scooted closer to put my hands in his curls and pulled him to me.

He put his hands around my waist and lifted me up to be in his lap and I felt his erection.  He was hard and ready.  I needed just a few more minutes.

He was kissing my breasts and of course my nipples were leaking milk.  I was embarrassed at first but Jamie smiled at me and suckled.  I didn’t understand how it felt so different from when I fed our children but it did.  

I thought about the diaphragm.  I got up and pulled the case out of my bag. I thought I would go to the bathroom to put it in, but I ended up giving my husband a lesson that was quite enjoyable.  

After it was in he put me back on his lap.   We kissed and played and loved. 

I groaned, he was making me feel so good.  I moved so I could take his cock in my hand and rubbed him just the right way. That was enough.  He rolled me to my back and entered me slowly. 

I took both his hands in mine as I groaned too loudly.

“Sassenach, are ye alright? Does it hurt?” Jamie asked.

“No, just stay here for a minute.” I said, kissed him again and started to move. 

“Yer going to wake Ash!” He said.  Then he started to suckle me again.  I started to move faster and he took the rhythm over.

 We had started slow, but passion caught up to us.  Fairly soon Jamie flipped me over, “On yer knees Sassenach.”

I got up on my knees and Jamie entered me fast and hard.  He held me around the waist and told me I was his woman.

We both climaxed and lay, gasping for air on the bed.  Jamie pulled me to him and we fell asleep.

***

Ash woke a few hours later and I got up quietly to feed him in the front room.  I smiled as I thought of my highlander.  In the car he seemed so happy that we were going to be alone for the night.  We had a houseful at home, and I’d had five children and was still a little soft around the middle but Jamie saw none of this.  

We made love two more times that night, and I fell asleep on the car ride home.

It was a nice day and everyone was in the front yard playing.  Jamie was rubbing my arm, trying to wake me and I opened my eyes to see his smile.  He was looking out the window and I turned to see Faith, Brianna, Fergus and wee Murtagh waving and coming to the car.

We got out and were quickly enveloped in hugs.  Could I ask for anything else from life?

***

Tuesday was Samhain and Charlie and I were as ready as we could be.  Jamie didn’t like it, but he was trying to be supportive.

During the evening we attended a small local festival and the kids had a great time.  Jamie still marveled at the rides.  After riding one, against my advice, and getting sick he only played the games.

The children were all home asleep and Murtagh and Violet knew where we were.  Murtagh thought we were foolish, but Violet told us we were brave. Charlie, Ahote, Jamie and I left to go to the stones.

It was midnight and I was steps away from that loud rock.  I was tied to Charlie, and we were both tied to Jamie.  He didn’t know it, but I had a knife and as soon as we were going through I was cutting that rope; if I got lost in here the children needed him.  

I couldn’t hear anyone speaking but Charlie took his gems out of his pocket and shrugged at me.  He wanted to be sure I had mine and I took mine out of my pocket and showed him.  I stepped toward the rock and then I was inside the chaos.

Being still was hard, but I waited for Charlie then I cut the rope.  I heard Jamie yelling but we turned and I took a step.

Chapter 48: William

Notes:

Hello wonderful readers!

I hope you like it and please let me know what you think!

Disclaimer- Diana Gabaldon owns all rights to Outlander and it's characters.

Chapter Text

It was loud. I felt things all around me and it was making my skin crawl.  “Quiet!” I yelled and surprisingly, there was silence near me.

Someone had stepped in behind me and I felt the hair on the back of my neck prickle.   I turned to look, but I knew what I would find; it was one of the violent ones.  It was one of the ones that had hurt me last time, I was sure.  

“When were you born?  How long have you been here?” I yelled at him? Her? I really couldn’t tell. Their clothing was rags, barely enough to cover anything as far as I could tell, which was little in the darkness. I was sure it was one of the violent ones because I remembered trying to reason with them. I thought about my family passing through to go back in time. I thought about how Jamie and I had created a line of people who could travel and I grabbed him (?) her (?) with one hand and with the other I took Charlie’s hand and focused on Jamie.  I took off with both of their hands and we left the stones.

“Sassenach!” Jamie said and was by my side.  I heard coughing and looked at Charlie but he was fine.  I felt nauseous, boneless and unmoored in a way but Charlie looked like he was out for a nighttime stroll.

Jamie had his arms around me and we both looked at the person I had pulled out.  It was a man who was on his hands and knees coughing and vomiting.  He let off a stream of gaelic very quickly. 

“Claire!” Jamie said as he picked up the knife that fell out of my jacket.  “Ye cut the rope!” He said and started to say something else when our ‘saved’ man took off running.

“Jamie, I’m sorry, be mad at me later, please catch him.” I said, still trying to catch my breath.

Jamie caught up with the man and subdued him rather quickly.  They conversed in Gaelic and Jamie eventually translated to me.

“He said he’s from sixteen fifty four, but I’m not sure if that is when he was born or stepped into the rock.  He thinks ye the devil Sassenach.” Jamie said with a smirk.

“Please ask him if that’s why he hurt me last time I went through.” I said, getting to a standing position.

Jamie looked at me for another minute, then looked at the man.  Jamie was shaking him and he let off with a stream of gaelic.  The man fell to his knees and looked like he was afraid.

“Jamie, stop.” I said and stepped in.  

“I’m Claire Fraser.” I said and held out my hand.  

“Halo Fraser” The man said and took my hand to kiss it. It didn’t escape me that he didn’t give his name.

“How old are you?” I asked and Jamie translated.  The man seemed to only know Gaelic.

“Seven, when-” Jamie started but the man kept speaking and they went back and forth for a few minutes.

“He was seven and his brother was ten and two when they were playing by the rocks.  They fell into the rocks and his brother disappeared.  He has been in the rocks ever since.” Jamie said and the man started in gaelic again.

Charlie stepped up.  “Raymond is wrong, wow.  They were not trying to take life from you, they were trying to save the babies from being born to a devil.” he said.

“What codswallop!” I said and Charlie laughed.

“Granny, I’m just telling you what he is saying, and his name is William by the way.” Charlie said.

William got up and came over to me.  “Thank ye English.” He said, with wide eyes and I looked at Jamie who was laughing.

“I think he is from a time when the English were even worse of a threat.” Charlie said to explain William’s look of shock and Jamie’s laughter.

“William, I am a healer, may I check you over?” I asked and Charlie translated.  William nodded and I had to remind myself to ask Charlie how he learned Gaelic.

I checked his pulse, heartbeat, respirations and had him bend all his joints. William seemed alright somehow.  His appearance was certainly that of someone who’d been malnourished for an extended time.

“Thank you William, are you hungry?” I asked and took out the packet of crackers from my bag.  He looked at me oddly until I ate one, then he was very interested.

“Can we please go?” I said and started moving down the hill.  I was nauseous and very tired from the stones and I knew I still had to talk with Jamie.  We needed to get William settled in the cabin to sleep.

We got down the hill and Jamie started explaining the automobile to William.  We managed to get him in the car and I decided to drive.  In case anyone needed to subdue William I needed Jamie and Charlie available.

Saying that William was startled when the car started up would be a gross understatement.  I thought about something and asked Jamie to take his hand and pray in Latin.  After Jamie did that William calmed a bit.

We got back to Lallybroch and drove as close to the cabin as possible. We got out and took William inside.  I showed him how to operate the lamp, where the food was located and took him outside to the privy.  Surprisingly, he seemed most impressed with the privy and the toilet paper.

“I’m going to stay with him.” Charlie announced.

“What, are you sure?” I asked and looked William over for signs of mental deficiency.  I wanted to be sure Charlie was safe.

“Aye, I’m sure. The lad is new in this time and I will stay with him tonight to be sure he is alright.” Charlie said.

I kissed Charlie and thanked him.  I held my hand out to shake William’s hand and he took it and kissed my hand, then bowed to Jamie.  William didn’t seem dangerous out of the stones, he was more afraid if anything.

As soon as I closed my car door Jamie asked, “Why Sassenach?  Why did ye cut the rope?”

“I’m sorry, but we have six children, Jamie.” I said and backed the car up to get to the road.

“I ken how many bairns I have, I also have a wife who I can’t trust.” He said, and a few minutes passed.  I pulled into the driveway and turned to him and waited.

“I canna protect ye in there, the only thing I can do is to help pull ye out but ye denied me this, why?” He asked.

“Jamie, we have SIX children.” I said again.

“I KEN!” Jamie said and he was yelling now.  

I took his hand and he looked at me.  I needed to be more obvious.  “Jamie, what if something had happened to me?  We have six children and I wanted to be sure at least their Father would come back to them.” I said.  I tried to remain calm.

“Why are ye doing something where ye might not come back Claire?  I canna be without ye.” He said softly.

 “We have five children by blood who will likely be time travelers.  They will have their children and so forth; we have begun a line of descendants who may travel through the stones.  How can I not make it an easier passage for them?” I said. 

Jamie looked at me and sighed.

“I’m sorry, I couldn’t risk both of us.  I should’ve told you before I went through, you are right, but I was worried you would end up coming through with us.” I said and took his hand again.  “It was wrong of me to let you think I would keep the rope on.”

“We are nay done with this, we will have to figure out something else if ye want to do this again.  Aye?” Jamie asked me.

“Aye.” I said and Jamie smiled at me.

“I ken why ye did it, but I wish ye’d talked to me.” He said and I nodded.  I wish I had too.

***--***

Jamie forgave me.  We didn’t know when the next time we would try to pull someone out or how, but my husband forgave me and that was enough for now.

Brian, Murtagh and Violet were waiting up for us and we told them what happened. Jamie didn’t tell the part about the ropes and I was glad.  I was feeling ashamed at taking the cowards way out and just cutting the rope instead of talking to my husband.

The next day Charlie and William came up to the house and ate breakfast.  Luckily we had Flora and Lily dropping off food because we didn’t know what the day would hold with our new time traveler.  

William was calm, humble, and went to the ground with any loud noise.  We got him acclimated to the bathroom and Jamie got him to shower and dress in other clothes.  Fergus wanted Jamie to go outside to practice ball and William went out with him after Charlie translated that they were going to play.  I heard him laugh on his way out the door and it was hard to equate him to the being that had hurt me.

I focused my attention back on Brianna and wee Murtagh when I heard wee Murtagh distinctly say, “Potty.” I smiled and picked him up.

“Take him, I’m here.” Violet said on her way in the kitchen.  

“Thanks.” I said and, quite animatedly, took wee Murtagh to the bathroom.

 That afternoon Brian came into the front room where I had Brianna and wee Murtagh going over flashcards and Ash and Ian in their little seats.  I was rocking Ash’s seat because he was fussing.  It was almost naptime and I was trying to hold them off until Jamie came back inside from the barn.

“Whit are ye going to do about William?” He asked me.

“I’m not sure yet.  I was thinking we should feed him up and give him a few days to rest before we do anything else.” I said, then looked at Brian.  “Do you have an idea?” I asked him.

“I dinna suppose ye can take him back to his time?” Brian  asked me.

I handed Brianna and wee Murtagh a few toys and put the flashcards away.  I turned to look at Brian and said, “I’ve been thinking about it, but I don’t have anything to pull me to his time.  He might be able to do it himself though.” I said.  I’d been thinking that we might be able to get him back to his time at Yule.

“Aye, good idea lass.  Let me know if ye need help translating anything.  I was thinking about taking him to work with me today.” Brian said.

He was still working with the horses at the bed and breakfast.  “That’s a good idea, I think… will you ask him if he wants to go?  I don’t want to put too much on him at once, he might need a few more days.  Thank you Da.” I said and he kissed my cheek.

Violet was at the manse getting a meal ready then she was coming back and bringing her sewing machine and maybe her granddaughter Fiona.  She’d said she wasn’t sure if she’d bring Fiona, but Violet was going to visit with her at least.

Jamie left to drive Brian and William to work and he was going to get groceries and pick up our new book order on the way home.  Fergus was getting dropped off after football practice tonight.

I got Brianna and wee Murtagh down for a nap, then nursed Ash and Ian and got them asleep.  I came out to the kitchen and looked around in surprise at the silence.  Being alone was a rare thing.  Murtagh and Faith were at preschool, but I made sure to remind myself to talk to Jamie and Murtagh about her later.  Faith had recently discovered lying and I had no idea what to do about it.

I sat at the table and thought about a trip I had in mind to surprise everyone.  If all went well William would go to his time at Yule, and Charlie would be going home.  I called the number for the travel agent I’d found and talked to them.

I requested prices to charter a plane to Edinburgh.  He tried to talk me out of it, telling me it would be so much cheaper to drive.  I knew it would be much cheaper, but the flight was part of the fun.  Since I had the money and a houseful of people who would be shocked to be on a plane I thought a personal experience would be the best way to go.  I really wanted to take Lily and Flora to help with the children, and Fergus might bring a friend, or two, so I rounded up my party number at fifteen.  

I said I wanted to go in March.  I was hoping a nice weekend away would be good for us.  When I got off the phone I took a nap.

The next day I decided I was going to talk to William.  After breakfast I stopped him outside.

“William, can we talk?” I asked.  I had Charlie with me to translate.

We went to the barn since Lily was in the house.  

“How are you? Do you need anything?” I asked him.

Charlie translated and then translated the answer back to me, “He said he has plenty of food and water, he is fine.” Charlie felt my dissatisfaction with that answer.

I took a breath and tried again, “I hope you are happy here, but on Yule I have a plan so you can go back home passing through the stones.”  I said, and Charlie translated.

“Home?” William said with the hope of a seven year old boy in his eyes.

“Yes, home.  We are going to try to get you home at Yule.” I said and he nodded and started speaking to Charlie quickly in Gaelic.

“He said he wants to go home very much and will do everything you tell him to get through the stones.” Charlie translated.

I smiled and touched William’s hand.

“We can talk more later, but I think you can get home.  You will need to stay here with us but maybe we can feed you up and get the right clothing for you before you go back.  Were you born in sixteen fifty four, or is that the year you fell in the stones?” I asked and Charlie translated.

“He was born in sixteen fifty four.” Charlie said.  

“Okay,” I said and nodded my head to say it was fine, “We’ll figure it out.” I said and smiled.  William and Charlie went to help with the livestock.

I went back to the house and racked my brain about sixteen fifty four, I knew something had happened but I couldn’t recall exactly.  I would have to speak with Jamie about it.  It didn’t really matter; it was sixteen sixty one when he’d fallen into the stone.  He looked to be about twenty… but I had no idea how old he actually was because aging in the stones didn’t seem to work quite right.  

I knew Brian, Jamie and Charlie were working on teaching him English and I hoped he caught on soon enough to have a conversation.  I trusted my translators, but it was always better to have a conversation one on one.

William did well thanks to Jamie, Charlie, and Brian.  Murtagh helped out when the opportunity arose but he wasn’t a fan of William.  I kept my distance most of the time too; having seen his fists and feet kicking me I was hesitant to get close to him.  I made sure to speak with him every day and explained about how you went to certain times through the stones by allowing a time or a person to pull you to them.  We talked about imagining his parents a little older and focusing on them.

Violet bought a few period costumes and adjusted them to fit William.  We had a leather bag that we could pack with his change of clothes, food and a pallet for him.  We gave him some money that he could use in his time.

We celebrated wee Murtagh and Brianna’s birthday in a big way.  We talked to the owner of the preschool and they rented out their play yard and the two year old room to us on a Saturday.  We invited every child that attended the preschool because we wanted Brianna and wee Murtagh to get accustomed to the other children.  Fergus invited a few of his friends and their families and Jamie and Brian invited people from the bed and breakfast.  We invited people from church and also had people from the sword fighting lessons.

It ended up being a huge party and everyone had a great time.  I took a lot of pictures since neither wee Murtagh nor Brianna would likely remember it.  Thanks to Violet we had plenty of food and drinks.

Since they were two years old and I had managed to have both of them ready Brianna and wee Murtagh started preschool in the mornings.  I was the one driving them to school and dropping them off and it was difficult to let them go.  They did very well and I thought having the party at the preschool was worth it.  

The day they started preschool I didn’t leave the parking lot.  I brought a book and told their room teachers I would be in my car.  The two women were surprised, but just laughed.  The children didn’t have a problem at all.  I had a good cry that my wee Murtagh and little Brianna were able to be away from me for three hours and were just fine about it.

I thought about being pregnant with them and when I learned they were going to be twins.  I was so happy there would be two little ones instead of one and now I had six!  Well, five that were a genetic mix of Jamie and I, but really six because Fergus picked up the best of us.  

 I remembered going through the stones pregnant with them and being so sick.  I thought about how foolish and stubborn I was to insist on trying to go to Jamie’s cave.  I thought I needed to know that little piece of him, that time he was away from everyone.  I put myself in a situation that could’ve been harmful to the babies.  

I liked to think I learned my lesson but just a month ago I broke Jamie’s trust by cutting that rope.  I had to do better, be better.  I had a wonderful husband and six children, and I had to do better for them and for myself.

I never did open the book.  I thought about my life for those three hours and felt the time was well spent.  When I got them in the car, Wee Murtagh and Brianna were both talking at the same time about their day. They had a great day and were fine being at school.  Wee Murtagh had chocolate milk spilt all down his shirt and Brianna had jello in her hair.  They loved school.

Jamie was waiting for us on the front porch.  Before I got the children out of the car I walked to my husband and kissed him.  I sucked on his tongue and put my hands in his hair.  After a few minutes we broke for air.

“Sassenach, what was that for?” Jamie asked.

“I am so lucky to have you for a husband.  I think I remembered just how lucky I am today.” I said and took his hand to walk back to the car to get the children.

“Maybe we can be lucky tonight?” Jamie asked and I smiled.  It had been two days since we made love.

“Oh, we are both going to be very lucky tonight!” I said and licked my lips while I looked at him.

Chapter 49: Yule 1950

Notes:

Hello to my great readers!

This chapter is a little short because the next one is a little long.
I hope you like it!

Disclaimer- Diana Gabaldon owns all rights to Outlander and it's characters.

Chapter Text

The second Friday in December Jamie and I went out with a couple we had gotten to know during the St. Andrew’s Day celebration at the church.  The festival was on a Friday night and I had been distracted thinking about the children.

The couple we had dinner with was Molly and Edward McEwan and we ended up having a lot in common with them; Their son played on the same football team as Fergus and their youngest was in preschool with Brianna and wee Murtagh.

They asked how many children we had and when I said six Molly choked on her drink.  “Six!” She said loudly and her voice cracked.  This would become a running joke between Jamie and I.  Whenever the number of children we had would come up I would say ‘six’ and act like I was choking on something.  The laughing really helped to ease my worries.

She’d apologized, but Jamie and I had a good laugh.  We’d become friends and they’d invited our household to their Christmas party.  At first I didn’t think we’d go since I would be missing Charlie and hoping we got William back to the right time, but Jamie told me that was precisely the reason a party would be nice.

December brought plenty of snow to our area.  Murtagh and Jamie were talking about buying a jeepster because it was supposed to be better to drive in the snow.  Faith, Brianna and wee Murtagh were able to get to preschool every day.  They were very excited to go and if we even mentioned there might be too much snow they got upset.

Ian was bigger every day and Ash had turned into a butter ball.  They were both still on breast milk but Ian drank from a bottle that Jamie usually fed him.  We were still using the calendar and I made sure to keep it updated which was useful so I didn’t give Ian his bottle when Jamie could be giving it to him.

I spent as much time as possible with Charlie.  He was secretly teaching me Gaelic and I could hardly wait to surprise Jamie, but the language was difficult for me. I would likely have to continue lessons with Brian or Murtagh.

William had learned some English and between his difficult English and my difficult Gaelic we managed our own conversations.    He was excited to go back and I was happy for him.  He assured me he would convey the message that I wasn’t a devil when he went through and I thanked him.

He wasn’t comfortable lying about where he’d been but I told him it was up to him.  Maybe he could tell his family the truth and say he’d been ‘traveling’ to everyone else.  We decided he would try to talk to his parents before he told anything to anyone else.

William was the definition of an enigma.  He was very young and boyish but I caught him staring at Lily and Flora more than once.  He seemed to get along best with Charlie but I think it was because they connected that first night he was in this time.  William and Fergus were the most similar in behavior but Fergus wasn’t a fan of William; I think because he had his own set of friends and William was too different.

A few days before Yule Jamie, Charlie, Fergus and I went looking for Holly, mistletoe, pine boughs and anything else to decorate the house.  We also got a Christmas tree and decorated it.  

Jamie and I went shopping and we got a gift for everyone.  It wasn’t their tradition but it was the custom of the time so Jamie and Murtagh relented and agreed to celebrate this way.

“Bidh mi gad ionndrainn do sheanmhair.” Charlie said.  We were on our morning walk and it was the day of Yule.

“I will miss you too, Grandson.” I said and took his hand.  “How are things going with your wife?” I asked.

“In Gaelic.” He reminded me.

“Ciamar a tha cùisean a ’dol le do bhean?” I asked.

Charlie laughed a bit, “ Fine, I think everything will work out fine and your pronunciation is still terrible.” He said and I laughed and nudged his shoulder.

“My tongue doesn’t work right!” I said and laughed.

“You’ll get it Granny, don’t worry.” he said.  We’d made it to his spot and he buried his papers.

“You have been so wonderful to have with us Charlie, thank you for everything.” I said.

“Still wishing you could’ve had Ash and Ian in the hospital?” He asked me and I laughed and nodded.

“Yes, dammit, babies are born in a hospital.” I said.

“Your babies were not Granny, just get used to it.” He said and smiled at me.

We started home and kept the conversation light.  I was trying to keep from turning into a watering pot.  I would really miss him.

When we got home Jamie was waiting for us in the front room with Ash who wanted to be fed.  I settled in next to my husband and fed my son with a blanket over my chest.  I would go to my room if Murtagh or Brian were here but they were still asleep.

“Can I give it to him now?” Jamie asked and I nodded.

“A wee gift for Christmas.” Jamie said and handed the package to Charlie.

“Thank you.” Charlie said, took the package and opened it.  It was a silver compass we had engraved.  “Gaol an-còmhnaidh, G & G”  (Love always)

He looked at it for a while and I grew concerned.  “Is it not-” but I stopped as I saw him wipe a tear away and then he hugged Jamie and went to hug me but I was still feeding Ash.

“I will hug you in a few minutes.” Charlie said and smiled at me.  “It’s perfect, thank you.”

Jamie squeezed his upper arm.  “Good, let’s eat.” 

Ash finished nursing and I followed them into the kitchen area, then stopped suddenly.

Fergus was at the table without a book.  I was so used to seeing him sitting there reading it was a shock.  He was trying to teach William how to play tic tac toe.

Murtagh and Violet came in and Brianna and wee Murtagh woke up.  Ben was just learning how to do the baby babble and he did it constantly.  We were a loud and boisterous group and it hit me that tomorrow we would be short two people.

I spent most of the day with the children; the preschool was closed until after Hogmanay so Faith, Brianna and wee Murtagh were a little disagreeable.  Fergus went to a friend's house for most of the day but would be back before dinner.

Since it was winter Brian, Jamie and Murtagh spent more time inside than usual.  They were  planning the spring planting at the table.

Flora was helping me with the children and Charlie was in the library reading or writing.  I wondered if there would ever be a day as perfect as this one.  

It smelled wonderful in the house and I sat smiling and trying to imprint this day in my memory.  Jamie came in and smiled at me.  I wondered if he was thinking the same thing I was thinking.

After dinner we got the children bathed and in bed.  William was listening to a radio program.  I was rocking little Ben and Murtagh and Violet were at a small gathering at the manse.  They were expected home around ten.  Fergus got dropped off and told us all about his day in a rapid, exciting way and woke up Ben.  He apologized of course, but I told him it was alright.  I was still so happy that Fergus had embraced this time so much I could hardly get mad at him for getting excited.

We’d come to this time over a year ago but it had been such a big change I didn’t know if anyone would be alright in this time except me.  One year and two months later and we had a marriage, the addition of Brian, Charlie, Ben, Ash and Ian, the lads from the orphanage who were with their grandparents and now William.  

Jamie and Fergus had gone to the library to talk. I got Ben to sleep and put him down in the nursery.  I made a mental note to talk to Jamie again about rooms for the children.  Brianna, wee Murtagh and Faith were in the nursery next to our room and Ian and Ash were in our room, but they were old enough to be moved out of our room.  There was no room in the nursery though.

I went back out to the front room and sat in my rocking chair to knit.  I was asleep before I picked up the yarn.

“Sassenach.” I heard and felt a kiss to the forehead.  I opened my eyes to look right into Jamie’s eyes.  I kissed him.

“It’s time.” Charlie said from behind Jamie.  

I stretched and stood up.  William stood there in his clothes and coat that fit the seventieth century.  Charlie was dressed as he always was; casual in just his way.  I felt tears coming and blinked them away.

“Is Murtagh and Violet back?” I asked.

“Aye lass, we’re here and we’ll protect the bairns.” Murtagh said and I nodded and went to get my shoes.

The ride was silent and way too short.  Charlie helped me up the hill.

“I’ll miss you, this young Claire full of piss and vinegar.” Charlie said.

“Full of what?” I asked, surprised at what I thought he’d said.

“Nothing, just a saying.” He said and looked down.

“I will miss you very much.” I said, looking at Charlie.  “I hope we will or have changed enough for you to go back to a happier family.” I told him as we crested and I felt the stones more.

William left first.  He had a bag with plenty of coin and food and a change of clothes.  He thanked us and hugged us all.  After he stepped into the stones we waited a few minutes.

“Is everything alright Sassenach?” Jamie asked, and I barely heard him.

“Fine, just odd watching it from this side of the stone.” I said.

Charlie took a breath and hugged me, “I love ye Granny.” he said into my ear.

“I love ye too.” I said back to him.

He shook Jamie’s hand and turned to look at us again, then he nodded, and stepped into the stone.

He was gone.

My tears were running freely.

Chapter 50: Edinburgh

Notes:

Hello wonderful Readers!

Chapter 50! As many as you already know I recently started a new Outlander fanfic story, but I call this story, my first story that I am on chapter 50 'The Saga' lol!

This chapter is a little more of what families might be used to with fifteen year old boys. It's just how I think this family might have dealt with it. it is written entirely from Jamie's point of view. (Unless I made a mistake)

I hope everyone is safe and well!

Chapter Text

Written from Jamie’s point of view

 

I would miss young Murtagh; maybe not as much as Claire as she was closer to him but he was a good lad and had helped us very much. He was a strong lad, and had to be to do what he did. We stood there for a few minutes listening to the wind whip and I saw the stone call to Claire. I saw her get that faraway look in her eye, then her face softened and her clothes were pulled to the stone.

 

I saw my Sassenach take a few slow steps towards the stone and I took her hand.  She looked like I had woken her; looking around in surprise like she had no notion she had taken the steps.

 

I held her hand tightly and we stood back.

 

We waited a few more minutes then started down the hill.  

 

“Will you please go up once more and just check that he’s not there?” Claire asked me after we got in the car.

 

“Aye Sassenach, stay in the car please.” I said and she nodded.

 

I went up the hill and walked around.  I called out to see if anyone was there, but no one answered.

 

I got in the car and just shook my head no.  We backed out and drove home.

 

When we pulled in the driveway Murtagh was on the front porch with our new living room phone pulled out of the window and sitting on the table.  I smiled at seeing him.  He wasn’t my Father, but he may as well have been.

 

Claire was crying softly off and on.  I got out of the car and nodded to my Godfather to let him know everything was alright.  It was dark and I don’t think he saw me as he came down the steps to the car.

 

I helped Claire get out.  “Is everything alright?”  Murtagh asked.

 

“Aye, they both got off fine, no troubles.” I said.

 

Murtagh hugged Claire and said, “Dinna fash a’leannain, they are home, going to their families.” he said and patted her while releasing her.

 

“I know, but we’re his family too” Claire said and paused to hiccup, “I’m just going to miss young Murtagh so much.” She said and silent tears ran down her face.  

 

“I will miss him too lass, he was my midnight snack partner.” Murtagh said and we both looked at him to explain that one.  “I usually wake up at night ye ken, and get a bite.  He did too.  We would talk and eat and it was nice.  If one of us got up first we always waited for the other and prepared the plates.” Murtagh said and looked at us.

 

“He is your namesake, it makes sense his stomach rumbles all day and night.” I said and Murtagh and I smiled while Claire tried to smile and hiccupped again.  I held Claire against my chest, “Is anyone else still awake a’ghoistidh?” I asked.

 

“Nay, I just wanted to be sure ye two got home alright.” Murtagh said and put his hand on Claire’s shoulder. 

 

“Thank ye, can ye get the door?” I asked as I picked Claire up.  She cradled into me willingly.

 

Murtagh nodded and went ahead of us toward the house, he opened the door and I took Claire into our bedroom, telling Murtagh goodnight.

 

I put Claire on the bed and knelt in front of her.  “Sassenach, I hate to see ye like this, whit can I do?” I whispered to her.  I hadn’t turned the light on because I knew Ash and Ian were asleep in their beds.  Claire was right though, it was time to do something about the bedroom situation.

 

“I’m fine Jamie, I’m sorry, he was just a big part of my life.  I know he’s not dead or anything, but I don’t know if he even made it safely…... “ She said and trailed off, cocking her head.

She took her rock that we used to speak with Ian and Jenny out of her pocket and put it to her ear.  “Do you hear that?”

 

“Hear what Sassenach?” I asked her.  Now I was starting to worry.  If it was nay coming from her rock, I didn’t know what she heard because I heard nothing.

 

She got up and walked into the kitchen and I followed her.  She opened the door to the library, closed it, then went to the steps.

 

She smiled at me then went up the steps and I followed.  I had looked at the doors and everything was locked up.  I had no idea what was going on.

 

Claire paused in the hallway and Murtagh poked his head out of his door, then opened it and stepped out.

 

He was holding his dirk and said, “Is something amiss?” He asked.

 

“I can hear something… there it is.” Claire said and we followed her into what had been Charlie’s room.

 

She turned the electric light on, we looked around and Claire gasped and went to the bed.

 

“Jamie, Murtagh, do you know what this is?’ My Sassenach asked.

 

“A rock.” Murtagh said, stating the obvious.

 

Claire lit it somehow and it seemed to glow a bit.  It was clear and blue.

 

“Granny, are ye there?  My son is going to sing, ‘She's coming around the mountain’ again if ye aren’t home yet, please be home.” Young Murtagh said.

 

“We’re here, are you alright, did the passing go okay, are you safe?” Claire asked.  Murtagh and I were looking at each other, we had been rendered speechless.

 

“I’m fine Gran, I’m glad ye found my rock until ye and Jamie go to find the big one.” he said.

 

“Gran?”  said the voice of a boy.

 

“Aye James, it’s Gran but she is not the current Gran, she’s younger.” Young Murtagh said.  

 

“Young Gran?’ Said the same young voice, James I guess.

 

“Yes, hello.” Claire said, she was smiling.

 

“This is your great grandson James, keep your knees strong.” James said before there was a scuffle sound.

 

“Ye canna give information like that, this is why yer nay old enough to travel!” Young Murtagh said.  Murtagh looked at his own knees.

 

“Bye Bye Granny.” James said.

 

“Sorry, my boys are a work in progress.” Young Murtagh said.

 

“Aren’t we all.” Claire said and smiled wide, “Thank you for leaving your rock, it was really hard not knowing if you were alright.”

 

“I ken, I feel the same about you guys.  We have to go soon, can we talk next month?” Young Murtagh asked.

 

“Yes, when?” Claire asked.

 

“The fifteenth of January in the evening, nine o’clock?” Young Murtagh asked.

 

“Yes, absolutely, I am just so glad you made it safely. Take care of yourself and your family!” Claire said.

 

I realized they were coming to the end and it spurred me to move.  “Thank ye young Murtagh, Charles, fer everything and especially fer leaving us yer rock so we may know ye are safe.” I said and Claire smiled at me.

 

“You’re welcome Jamie -that hurt, stop it- okay you’re welcome mo sheanair.” Young Murtagh said.  

 

“Eat something good for me tonight lad!” Murtagh called and young Murtagh laughed.

 

I smiled, it was nice to hear him call me grandfather in the gaelic, even though he might have been older than I.

 

We said goodbye and Claire closed the rock.  She’d stopped crying thankfully, and the whiskey gold in her eyes shone like light on a cat’s eye. I just stared at her smiling stupidly.

 

“Well, it’s late, let’s go to bed.” Claire said.

 

She stood up and hugged Murtagh, “Thank you Murtagh, goodnight.” She said and took my hand.

 

We went to bed and my Sassenach wanted to make love.  I had thought she’d be sad for days, so I was very happy.

 

The next day Claire and Violet took all seven of the children into town.  As I learned at last year's Christmas and Easter mass services in this time ye had to dress up more than usual and the bairns and Fergus all needed clothes.

 

They came back with a boot full.  They’d picked up our new book order and gotten some food.

 

Our church had a midnight mass that Claire and I attended.  The church was decorated lavishly and it was rather garish.  I missed the small kirks from my time.  It was pretty but someone near us wore a perfume that made my eyes water.

 

The whole family went to the Christmas day service.  I went early to take Fergus and Faith to their Sunday school classes as I usually did but they ended up having a pancake breakfast instead. They both got food on their new clothes.

 

We usually didna bring all the children to services.  Claire and I went to a different service now than Murtagh and Violet attended.  Christmas day we had Murtagh, Violet, wee Ben, my Da, Fergus, Faith, Brianna, wee Murtagh, Ash, Ian, Claire and I.  We filled two pews and my Da sat at the end looking very proud of his family.  

 

After service we went to the manse to give the Reverend and Roger their gifts.  Violet had brought a gift for all six of our bairns and Ben and given it to Roger to give them.

 

The children were all playing with their gifts and Violet and Murtagh were in the kitchen.  I was pretty sure they were kissing or something because I’d heard Violet laugh the way she did with Murtagh.

 

The Reverend, Claire and I were on the couch watching the children.  Claire was holding Ash and the Reverend was holding wee Ben.

 

“I do have news that I hope will be received well.” The Reverend said.

 

“I’m sure it will be, what is your news Reverend?” Claire asked and I saw Fergus stop wee Murtagh from bonking Ian in the head with his new toy.  Smart lad.

 

“Well, uh, I have been dating a woman from my parish and I received permission to marry.” He said and Violet gasped from the doorway.

 

“Yer going to marry! Congratulations!” Violet said and Claire and I gave our own happy wishes.

 

Violet sat the tray of sweets and biscuits down and shook the Reverend's hand.

 

“I havana asked her yet.” The Reverend said, grinning ear to ear.  

 

“Have we met her?” I asked.

 

“Nay, I want to wait until I ask her to marry me.” The Reverend said.

 

I smiled at Claire and squeezed her hand.  “Best of luck to ye Reverend, I hope she says yes.” I told the Reverend.  

 

We left the manse and went home.  Claire and Violet got the children all changed while Murtagh and I heated up some food.  Da went downstairs to get the presents so we could surprise the children when they went in the front room.

 

“Da, Ma!” Faith and Fergus said when they came in the front room.  Murtagh, Da and I were all sitting on the couch looking innocent.

 

“Ye missed the Santy Clause!  He was just here and said ye all were good children and he left ye these gifts!” I said and pointed to the tree.

 

Fergus came over and kissed my cheek.  “Thank ye Da.” He said quietly.  He kissed Claire’s cheek and thanked her too.

 

The children opened their gifts and played with their new toys.  We ate leftovers all day so no one had to cook.  I read the bible story of Jesus’s birth to my family and we listened to music and danced.

 

It was a wonderful day and that night I made sweet love to mo nighean donn.  When I held her through her orgasm she mewled, then moaned and I couldn’t control myself anymore.  I held her tight against me and my release was strong and sudden.

 

Making love to the love of my life always felt new even though it wasn’t.  Most of the day when I watched her watching the children or caught her in a rare moment of relaxation my cock begged to be inside her.  When I first enter her I like to stay as still as possible to just enjoy being part of her but it usually only lasts seconds before I have to move.

 

We both slept late the next day until Fergus knocked on our door with a crying Ash. I took the bairn and thanked Fergus.  When I got back to bed I gave Ash to my Sassenach and she sat up, completely naked and started feeding him.  She was a beautiful sight.

 

The week after Christmas was a quiet one for us.  Claire and Violet had taught us some games and we played inside and when it snowed we made snow people outside.  We had a gathering, or ‘party’ as Claire called it for Hogmanay.  

 

Our Hogmanay celebration was wonderful.  We invited everyone we knew and hired a service for the food.  Violet invited all the members of her druid club and a woman named Penny took a liking to Da.  It was a little alarming at first, but then it was nice and I hoped he responded to her.

 

Claire had invited a group of people she kept in contact with from the hospital and I saw she gravitated to the circle of nurses often over the night.   I wondered if she wanted to go back to work; she hadn’t said she wanted to...yet.  I would be alright if she wanted to go back to healing, it was her calling after all.

 

The cleanup took us two full days.  It was worth it.

 

January and February of 1951 were quiet. Murtagh, Da and I were working on rooms upstairs and trying to figure out a way for the children to have their own rooms.  Any day now Ash would take a bottle and I could have my wife back all to myself.  I wanted a bedroom with my Sassenach that was bairn free for at least some hours most nights.

 

One night in late February Claire had opened the rock to speak with Jenny and Ian in the front room with Da, Murtagh and Violet.

 

“We have a new tenant you might be interested in.” Ian said.

 

“Och, who?” Da said.

 

“Well, it’s a large family.  Grandfather's name is William, he is sixty years old.” Jenny said and I could hear the smile in her voice.

 

“Is he our William?” Claire asked.

 

“Well, the grandfather told us a tale about his father who had been the first William.  He said his Father told him he had got lost in the fairy stones when he was seven years old and a Fraser healer got him out.  He stayed at Lallybroch from another time, then he traveled back thirteen years ahead of when he was lost in the stones.” Jenny explained.

 

Claire smiled and raised her hand in a cheer.

 

“So the lad made it and had a family, very good.” Da said.

 

“Och, he had a family alright!” Jenny said and laughed.  “William had nine bairns and eight lived to be grown.  Our William is the youngest and he has six children.  He is here with his two oldest children and their families.” Jenny said.

 

“Are ye able to take them on as tenants?” I asked.

 

“Oh, aye, they took four cottages and we’re taking care of them, making sure they have what they need, dinna fash.” Jenny said.

 

“William, the William that stayed with ye, lived to be eighty years old brathair, eighty!” Ian said.

 

I laughed and Da said, “That is a nice long life.”

 

Everyone was healthy and fine and Claire finished the conversation by passing Ian and Jenny dried toothpaste that Claire thought would be fine if it was found by someone else. She explained what it was and they said they understood but I could tell they thought it was a crazy idea.   She also sent a lot of food.  We knew they had plenty of coin but ye couldna buy what wasna to be sold.

 

Claire closed the stone and we said goodnight to everyone.

 

When we were in bed Claire was smiling.

 

“I’m glad he got home safely Sassenach.” I said and kissed her shoulder.

 

“Me too! But just not that, he really lived! He has children and grandchildren and great-grandchildren!” She said and kissed me.  “It’s a little sad that just a few months ago he was here, playing games and learning english and the next we hear of him he lived to be eighty and has died.” She said and twisted her lips and I knew she was thinking.  “That’s the nature of time travel though, right?  If we knew someone in sixteen ninety five who knew William we would have a different story.” Claire said and of course she was right.  A person’s story is always changing.

 

“I want to go in again and get someone out.” She said and I sighed.  I kent it was coming, I wasna surprised.

 

“Aye, I kent ye would.  Do ye know when?” I asked.

 

“No, I thought we’d work it out together.” She said and smiled at me. 

 

I kissed her and coaxed her mouth open and lightly bit her tongue.  She put one hand in my hair and used the other to guide herself onto my lap.  Our lovemaking was loud and I worried we’d wake the bairns.  I have a fire in me that needs Claire though, and it’s a fire I don’t want to curb.  

 

On Friday March third I came in from the barn drenched from sweat. I usually appreciated showers but especially on days like this.  When I opened the door to the house I heard more than one of our bairns crying and Claire was on the phone while she was nursing Ash.

 

I looked at her and she made an odd gesture to me.  I picked Ian up and went to the nursery to see Faith crying and Flora trying to comfort her.  Ian was still crying so the two together were really loud.

 

“Sshh mo’leannain, dinna fash.” I said, trying to sooth Brianna.

 

“Ne t'inquiète pas? Père mon frère a disparu!” Faith said through her tears. (Do not worry? Father, my brother is missing!)

 

Her french pronunciation was very poor so it took me a moment to understand her meaning.  I did a quick head count and realized I hadn’t seen Fergus. 

 

“Where is Fergus?” I asked.

 

Faith just started crying again and Flora told me Claire was trying to find out.

 

I picked Faith up with Ian and we went to the kitchen.  Flora went outside for a smoke.

 

I walked the bairns to keep them quiet and waited until Claire was off the phone.

 

“Where is Fergus?” I asked.

 

Claire burped Ash and went to put him down in his bassinet and he fell prompt asleep.  Claire took Ian from me and let him nurse.  The back door opened and I handed her a blanket she used fer the bairns to put over her as Da and Murtagh came into the room.

 

“Is everything alright?” Murtagh asked.

 

Faith, who was quietly sucking her thumb and rubbing my neck, threw her hands up for Murtagh to take her. “Och Muta, it’s awful, my bràthair didna come home from school.” She said and buried her head in his chest with a fresh wave of tears.

 

We were all looking at Claire now.  “This is what I know....Fergus told us he had practice, his friend Duncan told his parents he was coming over our house and Walter, the Cameron boy told his parents they were going to Duncan’s house.  Evelyn saw Fergus and two other boys get into a taxi after school, and the train station in Inverness sold three tickets to Edinburgh to a teenage boy.” She said, then took a breath.

 

“Edinburgh?!” Murtagh and I said at the same time. 

 

“Yes, I was just on the phone with the train station.” Claire  said.

 

“I kent where the lad was going and ye should calm down.” Da said.

 

I looked at Claire to see if she agreed with my look of astonishment that Da knew but she was angry.  I went to her and took her hand.

 

“What’s that again Da?” I asked, trying to remain calm.

 

Da filled a glass with water and sat down slowly.  He took a drink and looked around.  I felt Claire get jumpy and I wondered if Da realized I was the only reason Claire was not ripping into him even now.

 

“A couple days ago the lad came to me and asked me if I thought his parents would let him go to Edinburgh with his mates.  I said I didn’t know, but the lad was intent on going so I asked him to write his plans down and I would give them to ye and Claire.” Da said and took another drink of water.

 

“Where is it?” Claire said with her teeth bared.

 

“Where is what?” Da asked and I had to restrain Claire.  “Oh, it’s in my room.” Da said and got up to go to his room.

 

“Jamie, I swear-.” Claire said.

 

“Dinna swear, he’s bringing us the paper.  We’ll just go get him.” I said.

 

Da finally got back to the kitchen and Claire grabbed the paper from him.  She opened it so Murtagh and I could both read it with her.

 

Màthair and Athair,

 

My friends and I went to Edinburgh to see a football game on Saturday.  I know I should’ve had the courage to ask instead of run off, but I didn’t.

 

I know you’re going to want to come get me, but please give me a chance. I lived on my wits for a long time and I know enough to be safe.

 

But if you still want to come get me, here are my trip details.”

 

Murtagh had read the note out loud for Violet.  I checked the second page and Fergus had listed his train there and back, his hotel, and the game he was going too.

 

“The lad’s got a point.  I ken it’s a different time but he was alone for a long time and he took care of himself.” Murtagh said quietly in case Flora had come back inside.

 

“What do you want to do?” I asked Claire.  “Because I want to go get him.” I said.  He is my son and I couldna see him safely making his way in this time alone.  I didna think I could do it without Claire.

 

She was quiet for a minute, then she said, “Go to Edinburgh for the weekend.”  She said and looked at me.  “We already know where to stay.” She said and pointed to the hotel Fergus had listed.

 

I smiled at her.  It was a good solution; we weren’t stopping Fergus from doing what he wanted, and we would be close in case he needed us. I nodded at her.

 

“Alright, I’ll call the boy’s families back to let them know where they are for the weekend and that we are going, then I have to shower.” I said.

 

“We could keep wee Murtagh and Ian, we have bottles if they need them and I ken they dinna travel well.  Murtagh and I will be here-” Violet was saying but Murtagh stopped her.

 

“Woman, we are going!  Brain knew about the trip and didn’t tell his parents, let him stay home.” Murtagh said and looked at me.

 

“Da, will ye stay home and answer the phone when it rings?” I asked.

 

“Aye, Aye, of course.” Da said.

 

Flora cleared her throat from the door. “What is happening?” She asked.

 

Violet explained about Fergus and Flora volunteered to go with us.  That worked out well for us and I would gladly pay her to help with the children.  She went home to pack a bag and tell her family.

 

Claire, Murtagh, Violet, Faith, Ash, Ian, wee Murtagh, Brianna, Flora and I got on the train to go to Edinburgh.  Claire got all five bairns ready and packed, and packed for the two of us by the time I was out of the shower.  That woman is very efficient.

 

 Claire had a bag of toys for the car ride and a separate bag of snacks for them ready to go quickly.  

 

Murtagh and I both drove to the train station and had to register the cars and pay so I could park it there.  The Cameron's had called the station for us and set it up for us to get an expensive cabin to ourselves and they paid for it in exchange for letting them know what the boys were doing.

 

I was glad that we had an area all to ourselves but I would’ve rather been out in the action.  I thought I would be missing what actually went on in a train by staying in the cabin.  I didn’t have long to ponder what was going on in the main area because the bairns all needed feeding and soothing.

 

After the first hour they were all asleep and I was sitting by the window holding my Sassenach and asking her questions about how a train actually worked but she didn’t have a lot of answers.

 

“How worried are ye about Fergus?” I asked.  

 

“On a scale of one to pulling my hair out, I’d say at least halfway to hair pulling.  I know he’s smart and was on his own, but there is a whole different set of problems to come across here.” She said and sighed.  “He’s our son and I am scared that he’s not alright.” Claire said and squeezed my hand.  “Anything could happen to him.” She whispered and I wiped a tear off her cheek.

 

I pulled her in closer to me and kissed her head. I didna ken if I was as worried, but I had seen Fergus in action and I kent he was a canny lad. I was nervous though ye ken, it was a different time.

 

The train ride was magnificent and I was looking forward to riding it home.  When we arrived I got a push trolly to load our bags on and Claire and Violet both pushed a set of twins in their pram.  Faith rode on top of the bags on the trolley and Murtagh carried little Ben.

 

We got two taxi's to get to the hotel and when we arrived Fergus and the other two boys were standing in front of the hotel smoking cigarettes.

 

“Jamie.” Claire said and took my hand.  She sighed with relief.  “He’s alright, ruining his perfect lungs, but alright.” She said and I could feel her relax.

 

“Let’s not mention the smoking today, but I will talk to him about it.” I said and the taxi pulled to a stop in front of the hotel.

 

It was very nice to see the look on his face when I stepped out of the taxi.  His eyes popped open and his mouth was agape.  His cigarette fell out of his mouth onto the ground.

 

We unloaded our things from the taxi and by this time the two other boys realized who we were and said polite hellos then almost ran into the hotel, likely to hide in their room.

 

A sleepy Faith ran right up to Fergus and hugged him.  “Frère, tu es en sécurité!” (Brother, you are safe)

 

Fergus picked her up and she wrapped her legs around his waist and hugged him.  She looked very relieved.

 

“Maman, Da, why are you here?” Fergus asked as we walked close to him.

 

Claire answered before I could and it was a good thing.  I was still getting the pram set up and emptying the taxi.

 

“We were worried that someone who didn’t have the courage to talk to his parents about a trip he wanted to take might need help.” She said and walked into the hotel pushing the pram with the twins in it.

 

 “Faith.” I said and Fergus put her down.  We walked into the hotel after Claire and Fergus followed with his head down.  Good.  I wanted him to reflect on his decisions.

 

Claire spoke with the hotel people to get us a room.  I was used to being the one in charge, but checking into a hotel in the twentieth century was new to me so I was glad she took care of it.

 

Murtagh was smiling and I tried to get him to stop.

 

There was an empty suite on the same floor as the room the boys had and it was reserved for us.  Apparently the Cameron's were very grateful. 

 

We got in a ‘lift’ as Claire called it to go upstairs and my stomach was roiling by the time we got out.  I still had our bags and Claire was pushing the tram with Faith holding onto it making faces at her siblings.  Fergus walked behind us looking very nervous. Murtagh and Violet and the other pram had to wait for the next lift.

 

“This is nice, we will have plenty of room.” Claire said after I got the door open and we went inside.  Murtagh and Violet picked one of the four bedrooms and got their things set up.

 

There was a large main area with a couch and chairs.  Beyond that was a small kitchen with a table and chairs.  I was thinking about the rooms Claire and I had stayed in during my time and how it compared to this place; what a difference!

 

After we looked around for a few minutes Fergus said, “Well, let me have it.”

 

“Let you have what?” Claire asked.  I could tell she was trying to sound calm, but actually wasn’t.

 

“My punishment, yell at me, say something.” Fergus said.

 

I looked at Claire and she nodded to me. “Go get yer mates.” I said and started to unpack the bairn’s toy bag.

 

Fergus left the room.  “Are you sure you’re okay to do this?  I just don’t think I can keep calm, I’m sorry.” Claire said after Fergus left.

 

"Are ye goin to thrash the lad?" Murtagh asked.  I shook my head no.

 

“Dinna fash, I can do this.  Is this little man finished?” I asked as Ian was nursing since we had to wash the bottles.

 

“Yes, will you please burp him?” Claire said and I took Ian while she picked Ash up to nurse her other side.  I burped Ian and laid out the mat Claire had packed for the bairns to play on, then put Ian on it with some toys. Our bairns had a lot of toys.

 

There was a knock at the door and I handed Claire the blanket to cover herself while nursing, then I let the lads inside.

 

“Yes sir.” The two boys both said.

 

I sat down by the phone and took the paper out of my pocket.  I called the Camerons and handed the phone to Walter.  “Lad, ye will talk to yer parents and tell them ye are safe.” I said.

 

The call was short but I could hear the yelling.

 

I repeated the same for Duncan and he spoke with his parents.

 

Now their families knew they were safe.

 

After Duncan finished his call I stood.  “Lads, this is the new plan.  Ye willna leave the hotel unless ye tell one of us.  If yer planning on going somewhere ye will let us know so we can go with ye.  Yer still going to the game, with us.  Any questions?” I asked.

 

“No sir.” Duncan said.

 

“No sir.” Walter said.

 

Fergus shook his head.  “What was that Fergus?” I asked.

 

“No sir.” He said.

 

“Have ye had your supper?” I asked and the boys nodded.

 

“Alright then, ye are welcome to stay here but ye can go back to yer room if ye like.” I said.

 

All three boys went back to their room.

 

“You were fantastic.” Claire said.  She was still sitting at the table nursing Ash.  Faith was playing with Ian and she was being unnaturally quiet.

 

I looked at Faith and she looked up at me.  “Is Fergus in a lot of trouble?” She asked me.

 

“He’s in a fair amount, aye.” I told her.  I kent how much they talked and I didn’t want her to tell him I was so relieved at finding him safe. I would rather hug the lad than scold him.

 

Claire had food sent to the room for us and I got Ian and Ash down to sleep in our room.  Brianna and wee Murtagh were already asleep in one of the other bedrooms. Claire and Faith were at the table and Claire was teaching Faith to play a card game.

 

No matter if Faith was winning or losing she would throw her head back and laugh hysterically and it was a beautiful sight.  I rummaged through the suitcase Claire packed and found the camera.  I had to re-familize myself with the thing but I managed to take a few pictures of them at the table.

 

 Our food arrived and Claire, Murtagh, Violet, Faith and I sat at the table eating.  Until Faith fell asleep at the table and I got her settled in the room we had set up for her, Brianna and Alex.  

 

When I got back to the table Claire was looking thoughtful.  “Sassenach, whit’s on yer mind?” I asked.  I sat next to her and rubbed her shoulder.

 

“I just wonder if we’re doing the right thing, staying in this time.” She said and looked at me.  Murtagh and Violet were sitting on the couch but they both looked back at us. 

 

“We came here to keep Murtagh and I safe and to stay together.  Whit is wrong about that?” I asked her.  I could see she was troubled.

 

“It’s not that, it’s right for us to be safe and together.  We have children who will be raised in this time, then go back to our real time and I keep wondering if they will adjust alright.  How will Fergus deal with the change?” She asked.  

 

I was wracking my brain and asking God for the answer when the door opened.

 

Murtagh stood up suddenly and gave us the sign to be quiet.  He went to the front door and listened for a minute then opened the door suddenly.

 

Murtagh walked back in pushing Fergus.  "Guess who was pacing in front of the door." He said.  Murtagh sat back down with Violet but Fergus stood. 

 

“Flora, you have yer own room lass, two doors down.” I said and gave her the envelope from the counter with her room information in it.

 

Just then there was a knock on the door and Murtagh opened it to Flora.  "I can some of the bairn's and get them to sleep." She said.  She had her won room a few doors down.

 

"Thank you but there is plenty of room here, you can have your room to your self tonight." Claire said.

 

“By myself?  Aren’t the children sleeping with me?” She asked.

 

“We have room for them here dear.” Violet told her.

 

“I seep wit Ms. Fora.” Brianna said in a sleepy voice and Wee Murtagh agreed. They were at the door to the room we had put them in.

 

“I can take them, if that’s alright.” Flora said and I looked at Claire who nodded.  The lass plainly didn’t want to be in a room alone.

 

“Let me get you some food and clothes.” Claire said and packed a bag for the bairns that would sleep in Flora’s room.  

 

Fergus was still standing in front of us.  Claire took a room key and helped Flora walk back to her room with Brianna and wee Murtagh.  When Flora passed Fergus I heard her whisper, "Glad yer safe."

 

After Claire was back Fergus finally spoke.

 

“Maman, Da…” Fergus said and paused.  I always found it interesting he used the French word for mom usually for Claire, but the Scottish word for dad for me.

 

We sat down and looked at him waiting.

 

“I am really sorry I just took off.  I was wrong and I should’ve spoken to you about going first.” he said looking at us.  “If we were in our time it would’ve been easier, a lot of things would be easier.” he said and looked down.

 

“What do ye mean?” I asked.

 

“No one would be going to the city for a weekend just to see a game.  There would be so many more important things to do.  I just wanted to come to see it and I was a coward, which does not portray well on my countrymen.  I am ashamed.” he said and was silently crying.

 

Claire’s anger was gone and she got up to hug the boy.  Hugging was not part of the discussed punishment.

 

“Fergus, you are no coward.” Claire said and looked around.  “To the best we know you are almost fifteen, and fifteen is a difficult age,  especially in this time.  You are on the cusp of manhood and we want you to make responsible choices.” She said and stroked his back.

 

“Oui Maman, this was not being responsible.” Fergus said and nodded to himself.

 

“No, it wasn’t.  And I was worried sick something might’ve happened to you, don’t do this again!” Claire said with tears in her own eyes and anger in her voice.  She had Fergus by the shoulders and shook him a little.

 

“I’m sorry maman, I’m sorry, I won’t!” Fergus said, now guilty he had upset Claire.

 

They hugged and I said I would walk Fergus back to his room.

 

“I appreciate the apology, but don’t think ye willna be punished too.” I told him.

 

“Absolutely, that is fine.” The lad said and almost smiled.

 

“Why are ye smiling? The punishment will be hard.” I said.

 

Fergus stopped, took my hand and we walked a few steps away from his room.  “Maman… she is so busy trying to educate my siblings sometimes I wonder… well, it feels like she doesn’t have enough time for me, that’s all.  But she worried for me, that is love.” Fergus said and smiled.

 

I just nodded and we walked back to his room.  We hugged goodnight and he kissed me on both cheeks like a proper Frenchman and he went back to his room.

 

I went back to my room wondering how I was going to tell Claire she doesn’t spend enough time on Fergus.

 

As it turned out I didn’t tell her that night.  The next day Claire called ahead at a restaurant to see if they could accommodate our party and we ended up having a small room to ourselves.   It was a huge meal and made up for the very light meal the hotel called breakfast.

 

Murtagh and I went to the game with the lads while Claire, Violet, Flora and the children took turns shopping and watching children and giving naps.  Violet had concocted what looked to be an elaborate schedule so each of the women would have personal shopping time.

 

The game was lots of fun and even Murtagh was laughing and cheering throughout the excitement.

 

We met up with the women and bairns at a restaurant for dinner and it was delicious food.  Claire had found it through talking to the desk clerk.  After dinner Murtagh, Violet, Flora, Faith and the lads went to a local movie theatre while Claire and I fed, gave baths and got the younger bairns down to sleep.

 

We were sitting on the couch trying to summon some energy when I said a simple prayer for courage.  “Sassenach, when I was walking Fergus back to his room he said something ye should ken.” I said.  She sat up a bit and looked at me.

 

“He was smiling, and I told him he was still getting punished.  He said he was fine with that, so I asked him why he was smiling.” I said and paused, asking God where the courage delivery would arrive.

 

Claire made a ‘keep going’ motion, so I did.

 

“He said ye were very busy teachin’ the bairns that it felt like ye didna have enough time for him.  He said that because ye were so worried for him, the worry proved yer love.” I paraphrased to Claire who was in tears by the end.

 

“Mo Sorcha, dinna weep, it will be alright ye ken..” I said and took her in my arms.

 

“He wonders if I love him, how will this be alright?!” Claire said, getting more upset.

 

“We will make some changes at home, we will be sure to spend more time with him.” I told her and inwardly wondered how we would do it.

 

“We have to, I don’t want him thinking I love him any less than any of the little ones.” She said and calmed down a bit.

 

We sat on the couch tangled together.  We were both stroking and patting each other like children trying to sooth the other.

 

The door opened and we straightened up a bit.  We said goodnight to Faith who was sleeping with Flora tonight.  Murtagh and Violet said they enjoyed the movie and they were going to check on wee Ben.

 

Fergus stood in front of us looking uncomfortable until Claire patted the couch next to her and Fergus sat down.

 

She put her arm around him and drew him close to her.  “Fergus, I love you so much, I’m so sorry I haven’t been spending enough time with you.” She said and was kissing the top of his head.

 

“Maman, it is alright, you have five bairns to try to make as smart as me.” He said and we all smiled.

 

“You are so special my dear, is there anything special you would like us to do?” Claire asked him.

 

Fergus looked at her for a moment then said, “Would you teach me to play cricket?” he asked and Claire nodded.  “And bowling?”

 

“Bowling?” Claire asked.

 

“Oui, oui, that was it.” Fergus said.

 

“Yes, we will make plans and put them on the calendar.” Claire said and hugged him again.

 

“I think that’s a great plan, after your punishment.” I said to remind him.

 

“Of course, I will do the punishment first.” Fergus said and smiled.  He hugged and kissed both of us and Claire walked him back to his room.

 

“What do you think would be a good punishment?” Claire asked me when she got back.

 

“I have no idea, but I’m not hitting the lad.” I answered.

Chapter 51: Guest room

Notes:

Hello Dear Readers!

I apologize for the long delay in updated this story. I intentionally took a break, then started a new job and I needed to figure out a schedule.

Here is the next chapter and I hope you like it.

As always,
I thank Diana Gabaldon for these great characters because she created them.

Chapter Text

Jamie’s POV

 

On our way home from Edinburgh our little car was even more filled.  it was a good thing. 

 

The other boy's parents were waiting at the train to take them back home.  I thought that Walter's ear might come off.

 

We planned a punishment for Fergus that lasted for the rest of March and it entailed almost double his chore load.  We decided to give him all the chores he would label as ‘women's work’.  He didn’t complain but I saw the look on his face; he wanted to complain.  When he had that look on his face Claire and I couldn’t look at each other or we would start laughing.

 

He also wasn’t allowed to go out with friends or over their houses and no one was allowed at our house.  When he complained this would hurt his study habits Claire and I became his study partners.

 

After my first night helping him I was awake into the wee hours reading the book he was learning from and I was amazed.  I kent he was doing well in school but the lad was learning things I had no notion about.  After my first night I took over helping him study so I could learn the things he was learning and he enjoyed having a longer discussion about what he did during his school hours.

 

Claire had gone to school in this time and she kent all these things already.  I didna tell her, but it made me feel small if I thought on it too long.

 

Fergus did all his chores and he didn’t complain.  Claire had a bowling night planned with just Fergus on the first day he was off punishment.  Murtagh had spoken to Violet and I spoke to Claire and we had a plan to go to another football game in Edinburgh the second weekend of April.  It would be a man’s weekend.

 

Claire bought a cricket set and taught Fergus, Murtagh and I how to play.  Da watched for a few minutes and he decided to go play with the children instead.  Violet would bring us drinks and cheer us on.  Whenever Claire played she would laugh and she looked like a young lass.  I kent she must’ve played this in her youth.

Penny, from our party and Da became close.  They were going to a restaurant in Inverness every Friday night to have supper.  Penny would drive out to Lallybroch to pick him up.  After dinner they would pick up Penny’s son to drive Da home because she didn’t drive in the dark.

 

We’d been working on the second floor for months and the third week of April Claire and I and our bairns were moving upstairs.  Fergus wanted to keep his room downstairs even though we had one for him upstairs.  I kent he thought it was bairns upstairs, so he wanted to be downstairs.

 

This was a long process because everyone had so many more things in this time, but Murtagh, Da and I got us moved.  This left us two guest rooms downstairs, and Violet and Claire had them furnished before the rooms were even empty.

 

That Friday Penny came to pick Da up and she came inside and spoke to all of us like she usually did.  Claire was up to something; I kent it by the look on her face.

 

“Where did you say you lived Penny?” Claire asked.  Penny told her but I focused on Claire.  

 

“I was just wondering because I need to go pick up Fergus this evening, and I could pick up you and Da.” She said with a smile.  I saw that Da was looking at her now too.  “We’ve been renovating and we now have guest rooms.  I was wondering if you would like to spend the night with us?  Brian makes us breakfast on Saturday’s, and Murtagh and I are playing cricket after breakfast.  Maybe you and Brian could take a ride and have a picnic lunch?” She said sweetly.

 

Murtagh was trying not to laugh, but he said, “Aye, the lass beat me last week but I ken this is my week.”

 

Da had a blank look on his face.  He said,” That is a great idea, whit da ye say Pen?” He asked.  

 

She smiled.  “That sounds lovely, thank ye Brian.” She said as if it had been Da who suggested it.

 

They left for supper and as soon as the car pulled into the road Claire, Murtagh and I started laughing.

 

“Pish now, why are ye laughing?” Violet asked.

 

“Because… tense…” Claire got out between giggles.

 

“Ye’ve gone and set my Da up on an overnight Sassenach.  If he wasna ready I do nay envy ye tomorrow when she leaves.” I told her and she stopped laughing immediately.

 

“Do you think he’s angry?” She asked.

 

“Who ken’s when it’s Brian.” Murtagh replied, playing along with me.

 

 Claire looked at both of us.  “Jesus H Roosevelt Christ.” She said and went to the library to feed Ash.  As soon as the library door closed Murtagh and I both laughed.



***Claire’s POV***

 

I went into the library for some peace and quiet to feed Ash.  Ian was almost completely bottle fed and last month I tried to break Ash but he was very firm about preferring my breasts.  When I took them for their six month check ups they got vaccinations and subsequently, fevers and I breast fed them both for a few days.

 

I sat in the rocking chair Brian had made and adjusted my top.  Ash was trying to latch on before my nipple was completely exposed.

 

“Greedy lad.” Jamie said and I looked up.  My man knew stealth mode.  

 

“He can be.” I said and smiled at Jamie.  “I hope your Father truly isn’t angry.  I just wanted to help move things along with them, and get to know her a bit more.  They have been dating for months.” I said.

 

“Dating?” Jamie asked.

 

“Courting.” I replied and smiled when he made a face.

 

“Aye, dinna fash Sassenach, we were having a laugh.  Da will likely be glad.” He told me and I saw his gaze go to my chest.

 

“Do you see something you like, husband?” I asked him with a sly smile.

 

“Absolutely.” He said and I saw his eyes soften.  

 

I smiled at Jamie and he leaned down to kiss me.  After a few pleasurable kisses Ash started squirming and we heard an Ian sized squall.

 

“Looks like that's my cue to feed Ian.” Jamie said.

 

He gave me another kiss and went to feed Ian. 

 

Later that night Jamie and I got Ian, Ash, Brianna and wee Murtagh all bathed and into bed.  Faith was waiting up to see Fergus.  Violet was fussing over the guest bedroom and Murtagh was sitting in the dining room reading to Faith.

 

Jamie was in the living room about to turn the radio on.  “Are you coming with me?” I asked.  I am a strong independent woman, and yes, I wanted backup, I admitted to myself.

 

“I hadna planned on it, there is a radio program I wanna listen to.  Do ye want me to go with ye?” Jamie asked me.

“No, I can go myself.” I said.  I’m English born, I understand stiff upper lip and all better than most people.  

 

“Alright, be safe.” Jamie said and kissed me.  He always told me to be safe when I was driving the car.

 

I picked Fergus up first and when I told him about Penny staying the night he was very amused.

“Do you want me to tell you if Granda goes to her room tonight Maman?” He asked me.

 

“I definitely don’t want to know, and I don’t want you watching for them.” I said as sternly as I could, but as soon as our eyes met we both laughed.

 

As it turned out Brian was glad I had invited Penny to stay the night.  She was very nice and they stayed up late watching a program on television.  In the morning Penny and Brian made pancakes and bacon which is our standard Saturday morning breakfast.  

 

After breakfast they sat on the back porch for a while and took a horse ride and a picnic lunch.  They were gone all afternoon and only came home in time for supper.  Jamie drove Penny home and Brian went with them.  I was watching from the window and saw Brian and Penny both get in the backseat.  I thought of Jamie as a taxi driver and laughed a little.

 

Penny staying Friday night with us became part of our regular schedule.  Roger came on most Friday nights also.  We had a full house most weekends and it was wonderful.

 

I was starting to feel a little down, mostly just during the week.  I’d been able to hold it off for a long time but it kept creeping up on me.  I knew that being a Mother was honorable and necessary to our six children but I kept thinking about nursing and healing people.  I missed intellectual input and learning new methods.  I didn’t think Jamie would mind if I wanted to go back to work part time but I felt guilty.  My children were my responsibility and teaching them as much as possible would provide them with the best possible life.  I knew Jamie would trade me roles if I asked but I also knew I couldn’t do what he did with the land and horses and sword fighting.

 

It was the last Friday in April and I ducked into the pantry because I knew I was going to cry.  We had a large pantry in an L shape and I went to the very end where I had tissues stashed.  I heard Violet call my name and reached for a tissue, but knocked over a can of peaches.  I heard Violet enter the pantry.  Damn!

 

“Claire, whit are ye doin, - lass, whit is the matter?” She asked me and put an arm around me.

 

“Nothing, really I’m fine.” I said and got a tissue.

 

“Nothing doesna mean tears.” Violet said.

 

“I just, I’m just feeling a little sad that’s all.  Some days I wish I could work, just part time, just to keep up my skills.” I explained.  “Then I feel incredibly guilty because Jamie works hard all day, almost every day to provide for me to stay home.  I know being a Mother is the most important job and I know it’s giving the children their best possible start..” I said and unfortunately another tear slid down my cheek.

 

“There is no need to feel guilty lass, when my bairns were young I had my own tears, it’s a hard job.” Violet said and smiled at me.

 

“I’m fine, and this is the right thing.  The children need a good start before we go back.” I said and smiled.

 

“Alright, let’s get out of here dear, Roger has a song he wants to sing to you.” She said and we went outside to hear Roger’s song.

 

The boy was sweet and he loved being at Lallybroch.  He sang me his song he learned and I thought about enrolling Faith and maybe Brianna in the children's choir at church.  

 

That night after the children were down and Jamie and I went to our room I knew I had to speak to him.  I put on my nightgown and sat on the bed watching him undress.

 

“Jamie…” I said and waited.

 

“Aye Sassenach.” He said and smiled at me.  He got completely naked, got in bed and came toward me.

 

“No, I need to speak to you.” I said and stood up.

 

“Of course, please.” He said and motioned for me to sit by him.  I did.  Touching him always gave me courage.

 

He put an arm around my shoulders and drew me close.  I took a big breath.  “What do you think about me going back to work just part time? I know teaching the children everything I can is very important but I am having a hard time.” I said very quickly, all in one breath.

 

“Whoa, Claire, yer having a hard time?  With what? What can I do?” He asked.  Jamie turned to me and took both my hands in his.  “How can I help, just tell me Sassenach.” He said.

 

I looked at him.  Here was this fantastic man that not only loved me but worked with our horses, in our fields, at the bed and breakfast, gave sword fighting lessons, drove whenever we needed him to even though he didn’t like it, always helped me with the children and now he was asking what he could add to his workload to help me.  I couldn’t help it, I started to cry. I felt like an ungrateful lout.

 

“Sassenach, come here.” He said and took me onto his lap.  

 

“I’m sorry,” I said and tried to stop crying but wasn’t able to stop for several minutes.

 

He was rocking me and whispering to me in Gaelic.  I finally got myself under control.

 

“Jamie, I’m sorry.” I said and hiccupped.

 

“Dinna fash, ye have nothing to be sorry about.” He said and kissed me.  “Please tell me whit is botherin’ ye so I can fix it.” He said and put his forehead to my forehead.

 

“Nothing is really bothering me Jamie, I am feeling a little down that’s all.  Then I think about everything you do and I feel terrible. I’ve been thinking about going back to work.” I said.

 

“Sassenach, ye work very hard, and ye teach our bairns, why don’t we ride out tomorrow night and camp overnight by ourselves? We can talk about how we can make it work.” He asked me.

 

“Make what work?” I asked.

 

“You going back to work, we’ll figure out whit we need to do to make it happen.” Jamie said.

 

I kissed him.  “I don’t know what I ever did to deserve you as my husband, but it must’ve been something great.”

 

Jamie kissed me; a long and sweet kiss.  “A night alone under the stars is just whit we need.” he said and pulled me closer. 

 

I sighed.  “That sounds fantastic, but I can’t leave Ash that long.  He just won’t take a bottle.” I said and snuggled in closer.  Jamie smelled wonderful.

 

“Tomorrow morning, when Ash wants to be fed ye take a walk.  Let’s see if I can change his mind.” Jamie said and kissed me.  “I’ve been able to convince him when these aren’t around to forget what he’s missing.” He fondled my breasts as he spoke.

 

I didn’t think it would work that well, but a walk by myself sounded nice.  We made love that night and it was sweet and wonderful.  

 

By the time I opened my eyes the next morning I heard Brianna, wee Murtagh, Ian and Ash. They were all four awake. Faith was likely awake too, but she usually looked at her books in the morning if she was up before me.  I jumped up and started to dress.

 

“Good morning my love.” Jamie said and kissed me.  “Get dressed for yer walk and leave the bairns to me.”

 

He was already dressed so I slowed down.   “You are the best husband ever, a walk sounds very nice.” I said and he left the bedroom.  I heard Flora trying to dress Brianna.

 

I got dressed and put my shoes on.  I waited until the children were all downstairs before I went down.  I was thinking if Jamie had a chance of getting Ash to take a bottle it would be easier if I wasn’t seen.

 

I slipped out the backdoor and wondered what I should do.  I wanted to walk but I thought I shouldn’t go far in case Jamie needed me.

 

I went to the barn and broke a sweat going up the hill.  I needed to get back in shape!

 

When I got there Brian was already there, mucking out stalls.

 

“Good morning Da, where can I start?” I asked, hung up my jacket and picked up a pitchfork.

 

Brian looked at me for a minute.  “Good morning Daughter, are ye sure?” He asked.

 

“Yes.” I said and looked at the stalls.  Brian moved out a pregnant mare and made a motion for me to go ahead.

 

I cleaned out three stalls and Brian did the other five and was cleaning tack by the time I finished.  

 

I sat on the ground by the door.  My hair was wet with sweat but I felt great.

 

“Needed a change of scenery?” Brain asked and pulled two stools over.  

 

“Thank you, something like that.” I said and moved to the stool.

 

“Yer a good Mam to yer bairns.  I ken ye are trying to teach them all ye can, but maybe ye should let up a bit and enjoy yer days more.” He said.

 

I looked at him and nodded.  “Maybe you’re right.” I said. 

 

We sat for a while longer, then we went back to the house.

 

Brian opened the backdoor and I walked in to see Ash sitting at the table drinking out of a cup.

 

“How’s it going?” I asked, already seeing the answer.

 

“We had to improvise, but he is drinking the milk.” Jamie said proud of himself.  He looked at me, “What did you get up to?” He asked.

 

“She helped me in the barn.  If ye two are going to trade mornings ye need to get yer wife proper boots.” Brain said.

 

I smiled.  It was nice to get outside and work, really work.  I didn’t know if I wanted to do it every day, but maybe every other day, or so.

 

Jamie smiled at me.  “We should do some shopping this week.” He said.

 

Violet, Murtagh and Ben came into the dining room.

 

“Halo.” Murtagh said and hugged Faith.

 

“I’m going to shower before Pen gets up.” Brian said and went to the bathroom.

 

“Claire, I was speaking to my friend Jen last night and she told me her daughter will be home for the summer.  She is studying to be a teacher and she is looking for work for the summer.” Violet said.

 

“We should meet her! Sassenach if ye wanted to go back to work she would be a good choice to teach the bairns as ye do.” Jamie said.

 

I smiled and took a deep breath.  “What’s her name Violet?” I asked.

 

“Mary, she is twenty years old, and just finished her second year at University.” She said, smiling.

 

“Do you know when she will be home? I would like to meet with her.” I said.  I was working everything out in my head...I could work part time, maybe two or three days a week and during those days I could have Flora, Lily and Mary here.  Between the three of them they could care for all six children and cook the meals.  Fergus didn’t need a lot of care but he needed rides.  Even if I had to use all my wages to pay them it would be worth it because I could keep my skills up and get out of the house for a while.

 

“She’ll be home in a week, should I let Jen know you’re interested?” Violet asked.

 

“Yes, please.” Jamie and I both said.

 

 Ash finished drinking his milk and banged his cup on the table until I got up and gave him more.  Jamie had done it!  We could camp out tonight if we could arrange it.

 

Penny got up and Brian finished his shower.  Penny and Brian made our pancake breakfast and it was time for the adults and Fergus and Faith to eat.  I went to the upstairs bathroom and took a shower.  I was going out alone with Jamie! 

 

Murtagh and Violet were fine with staying with the children.  Violet said it was past time we got away for a night.  Penny planned to stay another day and was delighted to help with the children. Lily was coming in to cook a late lunch and dinner so they wouldn’t have to worry about meals.

 

I checked the freezer in the basement where I kept my breastmilk and stopped counting after I found twenty five bags.  There were twelve bags upstairs already so I knew they had more than plenty.

 

I helped Brianna and wee Murtagh upstairs and set them up in their room to play.  I put the gate up and went to our bedroom to see if Jamie was there.  He was, and he had Ian and Ash on the bed playing with them.

 

“This looks fun.” I said and all three of them looked at me.

 

“Uh, Sassenach…” Jamie said and looked at my chest.

 

I looked down and saw my breasts had leaked and my shirt was wet.  I sighed.  I was going to express but was late apparently.

 

“Just a minute.” Jamie said and picked up Ian and Ash then left the room.  I heard him go downstairs, then come upstairs.

 

“Violet and Murtagh have all the bairns outside, Fergus is in the library studying.”  Jamie said as he came back into our room.

 

He closed the door and came over to me and pulled my hands to stand up.

 

He looked at me and smiled.  His eyes were like warm pools that gave me instant comfort.  He lifted my top over my head and threw it into the laundry basket.  I was always impressed with his aim.

 

“Thank you.” I said and started to walk away.

 

‘Nay Sassenach, my wife needs a little help.” He said and got my bra off.  When my breasts were free he sighed.  “Yer so beautiful.” And he held me.  

 

I drew back a little and saw him licking his lips.  “Are you thirsty?” I asked.  I knew he liked my breastmilk and it seemed like I had a bit to spare.

 

“I am always hungry for ye Sassenach, and yer milk is verre tasty.” He said and picked me up.  I wrapped my legs around his waist and he backed up to bed and sat down.  He started to suckle and I felt like I couldn’t get close enough to him.

 

Jamie pulled my pants down and I squirmed until they were off.  As soon as I settled back in his lap Jamie put his hand in my panties and I felt him rubbing me.  

 

I was breathing fast and so was Jamie.  I leaned forward a bit and he knew exactly what I wanted.  Jamie had a finger inside me and I was panting.  He switched breasts and I whined in the few seconds his mouth wasn’t on me.

 

“My God Claire, you taste good, and yer so slick.” Jamie said and stroked me again.  I was trying to wait, but I climaxed when he inserted a second finger inside me.  “I want to be inside ye mo nighean donn, to feel ye around my cock.” Jamie said.

 

“Pants… off…” I managed while yanking on his pants and kissing his neck. Somehow Jamie got his pants off and settled me back in his lap.  His cock slipped inside me and I gasped.

 

“Are ye alright?” Jamie said and froze.

 

“Yes, I feel perfect right now.” I said slowly.

 

Jamie started moving again and went back to suckling me.  His hands were on my hips guiding me up and down and it wasn’t long before I was reaching another climax.

 

“Jamie… I’m close...you feel so good…” I said.

 

“Now my Sassenach, with me.” He said, gripped my bottom and I felt his cock spasm.  My climax hit me and I bit my lip to not cry out.

 

Jamie laid us both on the bed and I whimpered when he slipped out of me.  We stayed that way for a long time afterwards.  I fell asleep.



Murtagh’s POV

 

My lad’s lass was itch’in to get back to the business of healing.  I couldna blame her.  I didna feel called to do much but protect my lad and I had traveled through stone to stay wit’ him.  Anyone who kent Claire knew she was a healer.

 

My woman and I took the bairns outside to play.  Brian and Penny came outside and we had a plan to play cards in the evening.  When Penny went back inside I asked my woman if women played poker in this time.

 

“Penny likely means a different game.  All ye have to do is tell her ye never played that game before and she will explain it, dinna fash.” Violet said.

 

After a bit Violet went inside to git lemonade and biscuits.  Brain and I got the bairns to the back porch and we all had our snack.  Jamie came out to check on us but Claire wasna wit’ him.  We kent why, he was a vigorous lad.

 

“Claire is napping but I was going to start getting ready to camp out for a night.  Are ye sure ye do nay mind watching our bairns?” He asked.

 

“Mind! Och lad, I’ve been waiting on ye to get ye gone. Violet an’ I have had sweeties in the cupboard for weeks now.” I told Jamie.

 

He smiled and embraced me.  I could smell Claire on him and knew he hadna waited.  He went inside after kissing his bairns.

 

I saw Brian looking at me. Let him look.  I kent, under law he was still my Laird, but he wasna acting like it.  He was quiet.  I didna want to take the place of the lad’s Da, but I didna want to lose the place I held in the lad’s life.  

 

“Where did ye get sweeties?” Brain asked.

 

“In the town, ye purchase it.” I said and Brian nodded.  

 

The womenfolk returned, and none too late.  Miss Brianna needed to go to the bathroom and I tried not to take the girls.  It was a deal I made with Violet; I take the lads and she takes the lassies. We sealed our deal with a kiss.  Well, more than a kiss.  My cheeks felt warm as I thought about that night.  I looked at my Violet and she was looking at me, with wee Ben in her arms.  

 

Jamie’s POV

 

I had showered, dressed and packed our bags and Claire hadna woken.  I woke her and she smiled at me.  Her tousled hair, that cat that ate the canary smile and that was all it took; I had a cock stand.

 

“Ye canna keep lookin’ at me like that Sassenach, we have two bairns in the room.” I told her and her eyes found Ian and Ash playing with blocks.  As soon as Ash saw me he crawled over and handed me his cup.

 

“Mama milk” He said and I looked at Claire.  She was smiling and crying as she took his cup and expressed milk into it, then handed it back to the lad.  He sat before he took the cup and drank the whole cup.

 

Claire’s POV

 

Why was I sad?  Estrogen is a terrible hormone!  My goal, as a Mother, is to love and care for my children, provide material things, educate, have fun times and watch my children grow,  teaching them to not need me or Jamie.  Ash was my last hold out on breastfeeding and now he doesn’t need me.  This is exactly what I hoped would happen!  Why the hell am I crying?!

 

“Our bairns will always need ye Sassenach.  Yer a wonderful Mother.” Jamie said, again knowing the right thing to say.

 

“Thank you, do you mind if I get another shower?” I asked.

 

Jamie playfully wrinkled his nose up and said, “I was hoping ye’d say that.” Then I hit him with a pillow.

 

***

An hour later Jamie and I were leaving the barn on our packed horses and waving to the house.  We were off.

 

We didn’t say anything for a little while and Jamie slowed his horse to ride close to me.  “I will pay a penny for yer thoughts.” He said and I smiled at him.

 

“The saying is just ‘A penny for your thoughts’ but yours does make more sense.” I said. I took a deep breath and thought for a minute.

 

“We haven’t had a night away without at least one of the babies since...I don’t recall exactly.  It feels odd to just be me and not be a Mother.” I said then shook my head, “I think I am explaining it wrong.” I said.

 

“I think ye have it right Sassenach.  Having bairns changes ye, but being with bairns changes everything.  Whit ye’ll do over the day, whit yer priorities are fer the day, how ye look at every little thing. Without you or the bairns I am always thinkin’ of ye’s.  With ye I am my truest self, the best me, with ye and the bairns my wame always does a little flop.” He said and gave a nervous chuckle.

 

I looked at this wonderful man.  “Why do you think you feel that way?” I asked.

 

Jamie looked at me oddly, “We have five bairns and one young man.  It is my job to protect these six gifts from everything.  My job to teach them about God, my job to teach the lads how to treat lassies and teach the lassies what to expect from the lads.  My job to teach the lads how to be a man.  Six children!” Jamie said.  I kept my smile until the end.

 

“Whit are ye smiling about woman?” He asked, looking a little hurt.

 

“I’ve been nervous too Jamie, I feel almost the same way!  For months I keep thinking about SIX CHILDREN!” I said like it was a shocking newspaper headline.  

 

We both laughed at ourselves and Jamie looked at me.  “I kent ye were feeling nervous after Ian and Ash were born, when ye cursed the relative that put twins in the family.  Whit got ye past it?” He asked.

 

I laughed then.  “Murtagh.” I said and Jamie looked at me oddly.

 

“Murtagh?!” He asked.

 

“Yes, whenever Murtagh could he would add little Ben to the group because, as he put it, if anything happened to Violet and him wee Ben was ours to raise.  Six didn’t feel like a lot when seven was the possibility.” I said.

 

Jamie looked shocked.  “I have thought of it.” He said and looked in the distance.

 

“Husband, we have six right now. As far as I’m concerned Murtagh will live forever.” I said and we both laughed a little.

 

We continued on to our camping place before dismounted.  Jamie kissed me and it was beautiful and sweet.  “Is it time to check in?” He asked.

 

I looked at my watch right before taking it off.  “Almost.” I said and put it in one of the saddle bags.

 

Jamie took one of the two walkie talkies we had acquired a few weeks ago out of his bag.  They were of a newer model, much smaller than what was used in the war and they only weighed a few pounds each.

 

Jamie turned it on and got it on the right channel.  He called, “Och, anyone here?”  I was doing my best not to think about the war when I had first seen these items in use.

 

“Aye, we’re here, dinna fash, yer brood is all fine.” Murtagh said.

 

“Nothing at all to worry about then?” I asked and Murtagh grumbled.

 

“Och, well the wee one, Ash got hit in the arm when wee Murtagh decided to take his toy, but he stood up for himself and pulled it back. Nothing else though, dinna fash.  We can take care of it.” He said.

 

“I know you can, thank you Murtagh.” I said and smiled.  I heard no crying so whatever it was they were over it.

 

“Aye, thank ye mo’Ghoistidh, oidhche mhath (good night).” Jamie said.

 

“Oidhche mhath, mac mo chridhe.” Murtagh said and he turned off the walkie talkie as did Jamie.

 

I watched him put it back in the saddle bag and he caught me looking at him.

 

“Aye?” He asked.

 

“I’ve only heard him calling you the son of his heart a few times, why do you think he did tonight?” I asked him.

 

“Because I agreed to talk to you about something.” he said and started putting up our tent.  I noticed he brought the large one and smiled.

 

“What?” I asked and sat on a log looking at him.

 

He finished putting up the tent and sat next to me.  “He wants to take Violet back with him.  Or he wants more time here with her.” He said and took my hand.

 

I nodded and thought about it for a few minutes.  “I think that’s a good idea.” I said and Jamie looked surprised.

 

“Ye do!?” He said.

 

“Yes, I’ve been thinking about it for a while. I’ll gather some wood.” I said and got up.

 

I got a large pile of wood for what we needed.  It was a little warm so we just needed a fire to cook dinner.

 

By the time I came back with my last load Jamie had the fire going and the foil packets that contained our dinner were already laying in the hot coals.

 

“Talk to me Claire.” Jamie said seriously.

 

I brushed the wood bits off my clothing and sat down.  “This is what I am thinking.  Traveling through the stones with all of us is going to be near impossible.  I don’t know if I could pull us all through, it doesn’t feel safe as much as I hate the idea of splitting up our family.” I said and tried not to cry thinking about leaving a few of my children on the opposite side of the stones.

 

“Aye, whit do ye suggest?” Jamie asked.

 

“Well, if Brian doesn't want to go home sooner,  I thought to take Brian, Ash and Ian home first. Then come back for you, Brianna and wee Murtagh.  My last trip would be Murtagh, Violet, Fergus, Faith and little Ben.” I said.

 

“I dinna like it Claire, we will be apart fer too long.  Bad things happen when we are apart.” Jamie said and took my hand.

 

“I know, I agree it’s not ideal.  I don’t know how else to do it though.  If you think of a better way I will gladly listen.” I said.

 

Jamie looked in the distance.  “ I will think on it.” He said.

 

We didn’t talk about it any longer.  We didn’t talk at all the rest of the night.  We had a very romantic evening and I loved the time we spent together.  I knew other women from the war that dreamed of dinner in a nice restaurant with their man friends but give me dinner cooked in an outdoor fire and a tent any day. We made love twice that night.

 

The next day we checked in once again first thing in the morning but everything was fine.  We packed all our supplies on one horse and we rode together back home.

Chapter 52: The Anderson's

Notes:

Hello Dear Readers,

I'm sorry it had been so long since I posted a new chapter. I've had a lot of things going on personally.

Anyway, here is the next chapter of my Saga. I hope you enjoy it!

-Just to warn you, this chapter is absolutely only for mature audiences.

As always, D Gabaldon owns all rights to Outlander. This is just my imagination.

Chapter Text

Jamie’s POV

 

No matter whit I did to keep my mind off of it I kept thinking back to my Sassenach telling me her plan to take us back to our time in stages.  I didna like it, not one bit.  The real problem was I had no other solution.  Yet. But I had time to come up with one.

 

I kent Murtagh wanted to stay here with his wife, but I wondered if it wouldn’t be better if they went back first.  Murtagh and Violet were good with bairns, wee Ben was doing fine and our bairns loved them. 

 

 I would think of something.

 

May had come to Scotland but it wasna much different than April.  I was at the Bed and Breakfast one day without Da when someone in a fancy suit approached me.  

 

“Sir, excuse me, are ye the gentleman sword fighter known as Fraser?”  The man said, waving his hand and getting closer to me.

 

I tied the horse up and went to speak to the fancy suit man.

 

“Aye sir, I be that Fraser.” Jamie said.

 

“Daniel Anderson.” The man said and pumped my hand up and down.  “ I run a vacation village south of Inverness, Anderson’s.” The man said and waited for recognition to happen in my face.  I pretended as best I could.

 

“I would like to offer a trade, that we put your family up for a week in exchange for sword fighting lessons you would give to my guests.”  Mr. Anderson said and looked at me expectedly.  

 

“My family is large.” Is all I could think to say.

 

“I’ve heard, it’s not a problem.” He said back to me.

 

“I need to speak to my wife, I have livestock to think about… how far south of Inverness?” I asked like I had forgotten.

 

“It’s about 175 kilometers, near Oban.” He said.  He produced a card from his pocket and gave it to me.  

 

“Please take a day or two and consider it.  I will be leaving soon though.” He said and nodded  his head to me.

 

I put the card in my pocket and went about my work at the bed and breakfast.

 

**~**

 

Claire’s POV

 

I was sitting at the table, thinking and listening to what was going on in the house.  Mary, Flora and Lily were all here today.  Lily was getting a grocery list together and she was taking Brianna and wee Murtagh shopping.  Mary was trying to finish a lesson with Brianna and wee Murtagh to see where they were academically.  She had them both writing their name at the moment.

 

I was wondering why I hadn’t called the hospital yet.  I’d thought about volunteering with Dr. Alice but that didn’t really help me with keeping my skills updated.  Maybe we needed a break first, not just an overnight with Jamie and I but a proper holiday for the family.  Fergus would be on summer break soon and we could… something.  I hope Mary, Flora and Lily will go with us.  Then we needed something for eight adults, nine if Penny went with Brian and that would be nice so nine adults and seven children, eight if the Reverend would allow Roger to holiday with us. Seventeen!  I needed to find a holiday for seventeen people.

 

Maybe we needed to holiday in shifts.  I called the hospital.

 

**~**

 

Murtagh’s POV

 

Ma’ woman was working today and the lass was brooding in the house so I was in the barn.  I wonder if Claire is breeding again… but no, ma’ lad has always told me when he knew.  I was thinking about taking ma; woman up to the bed and breakfast for a night but we’d gone last and I knew I should wait for ma’ lad and his lass to go. I was feeling the end date to my marriage coming and I wanted, no, I needed more time with her.  I’d thought about sleeping out but she said she was too old for camping, whatever that meant.  Staying at her house meant a stream of people stopping by as ma’ woman was well known and liked.  I wanted to get her somewhere different, where we can have alone time and walk around as God made us.

 

Ma’ lad’s favorite horse made a ruckus as I was standing here, daydreaming and holding her food.  I went back to work.  

 

**~**

Brian’s POV

 

I was sitting on the back porch looking into the barn watching Murtagh stand still holding a bucket of food.  He was staring at a horse like the man had gone daft.  I got up and was going to talk to Claire to see if Murtagh was alright but she was sitting at the table staring off into space.

I sat back down and shook my head.  I dinna know what’s going on, but I hope mo mac wasna staring at things at the bed and breakfast.

 

**~**

 

Jamie’s POV

 

“It’s quiet mo teaghlach (my family).” I said and looked around.  Brianna and wee Murtagh were talking about a ball they wanted, Lily was speaking on the phone getting her ride to get home and everyone else was quiet.

 

“I’m sorry Jamie, what did you say?” My wife asked me.

 

“I said everyone is quiet, what is the matter Sassenach?” I asked.

 

“I don’t know about everyone else but I was trying to come up with a family holiday for the summer.  We’re a large family, and it’s not an easy choice.”  Claire said.

 

Ian and Ash were both babbling at each other in their seats.  I saw Claire look at her eight month old bairns and she looked like she was thinking again.  I knew she wanted them to start saying words, like Brianna and wee Murtagh did by that time but they just hadn’t yet.

 

I smiled thinking about the news I had.  I thought about telling everyone now, but I decided to save the news for tonight.  It would be much more entertaining alone with Claire.

 

We ate dinner and bathed the bairns, then got them to sleep.  While laying Ash down Claire kept repeating “Mama, Da” and Ash was getting excited.

 

“They will speak in their own time mo chridhe, let’s go.” I said and took her hand.

 

We knocked, then went into Fergus's room.  "How are you?" Claire asked him.

 

"I'm fine maman, looking forward to cricket this weekend, I have to redeem myself." Fergus said with a smile.  She ruffled his hair and kissed his forehead. I smiled at him and before we were out the door he was reading again.

 

Claire and I went outside to take a short walk.

 

We took a few steps, then I said, “ I got a visitor today at work.”  

 

“You did?” She asked and looked at me.

 

“Aye, what do ye ken about a place called Anderson’s?” I asked her and watched her face.

 

“It’s a vacation resort place, south, near the water.  They have a lot of sports and events.  I’ve heard it’s nice but it would be expensive for all of us to go there.” She said and we kept walking.

 

“I met the man who runs the place and he’s offered us accommodation and full run of the resort for a week if I give sword fighting lessons.” I said and Claire stopped to look at me.

 

“What did you say?” She asked.  I still couldn’t tell if she was happy or not about it.

 

“I told him I needed to speak with my wife first.” I said and she surprised me by taking me in her arms and kissing me.

 

“Jamie,” she said a little breathless, “That would be a great vacation, does he know how large our family is?” She asked me.

 

“He said he’d heard that I have a large brood, but we didn’t talk numbers.  He said that was fine.”  I told Claire and she kissed me again.

 

“What do you think?  Would you mind giving the lessons?” She asked me.

 

“Sassenach, I dinna mind at all, as long as we can make arrangements for the livestock.” I said.

 

My wife was happy.  I would do a lot to make her happy.

 

“Can you call him in the morning, maybe invite him to dinner… I will speak to Mary, Flora and Lily after we speak to Mr. Anderson, would you mind if they went too?  That way they could still help us and they could have a little vacation too. I wonder if Fergus could bring a friend-” I got her to stop talking by kissing her. 

 

I wrapped my arms around her and brought her close.  After another minute of kissing my cock was waking up.  Claire felt it and leaned into me.

 

“Let’s go to bed my love.” She said and I put my hands on her lovely arse to pull her closer and she whined a bit.  

 

“To bed or to sleep?” I asked innocently.

 

She wrapped her hand around my cock and I groaned.  “Not to sleep.” She said and smiled.

 

We did -eventually- go to sleep.



The next day was bright and warm; the sun had found Scotland!

 

I called Mr. Anderson to invite him to dinner.  I let him know I was inclined to accept his offer but we needed more information.  He graciously accepted the invitation.

 

Claire went to the hospital to see about a position.  Fergus went to school, but since he only had a week and a half left his brain was making summer plans.  There was a professor coming to his school today to talk about courses that were available for the summer and he was interested.

 

I took Da to the bed and breakfast to work today and went home to tell Murtagh about the possible working vacation.

 

“Is it a nice place? I've been wanting some quiet time with ma’ wife.” He said and I understood. When we went back to our time I would still have my wife, he would not.

 

“Claire was very excited about it.  I dinna ken.  It seems like it.” I told him and he nodded.

 

“I talked to Claire, she said she had no problem taking Violet to the past.” I told him.

 

“Aye, I didna think it would be a problem, her children are here though, she willna stay fer long.  I wouldna want to be separated from my children either. I just want to be with her as much as I can.`` Murtagh said and I nodded and clapped him on the back.

 

**~**

That night we fed Faith, Brianna, wee Murtagh, Ian, Ash and wee Ben first.  Mr. Anderson got there as we were getting the table ready for the second supper and he saw Mary, Faith and Lily getting our six youngsters ready for bed.  

 

“You do have a large family Mr. Fraser.” Mrs Anderson said.

 

“Aye, I have five bairns and my oldest son, this is Fergus.” Jamie said introducing him.  “He’s almost sixteen so it doesn’t seem right to lump him in with such young bairns.”

 

“Pleased to meet you.” Mr. Anderson said as he shook Fergus’s hand,

 

Jamie continued to make introductions, ending with Claire because she put the children to sleep.  She came downstairs after everyone had started on dinner already.

 

“So pleased to meet you, what can you tell us about your plan for Jamie and Murtagh teaching sword fighting at your facilities?” Claire asked and I smiled.  Right to business.

 

I saw Fergus following the conversation closely. 

 

Mr Anderson swallowed his bite of green beans.  “I’d thought about signing people up for 1 hour lessons, four hours a day.  If you only work four hours then you have plenty of time to enjoy other activities.” He said.

 

“Will ye be needing just me or both of us?” I asked.  I didn’t know how Murtagh felt about working for his keep, but it might mean more time for him.

 

“I’d heard it was two men, is this a father-son activity?” Mr. Anderson asked and I saw my Da’s face get a little red.

 

“No, my Godfather, Murtagh and I give the lessons.” I said quickly.  I saw Violet look at Murtagh with pride.

 

“Would you be available to give lessons too sir?” Mr. Anderson asked Murtagh.

 

I saw Murtagh look at Violet and she gave a tiny nod.  “Yes,” Murtagh said, “I would be available, but not at the same time as someone needs to stay here and tend the livestock.”  he said and I saw Violet lay her hand on his thigh.

 

“That would be fantastic, how many weeks would you be available?” Mr. Anderson asked.

 

By the end of dinner we’d worked out Murtagh, Violet, wee Ben, and maybe Fergus and a friend would be going down the first week of June.  Claire and I, Da, our bairns, Fergus and another friend, and Mary, Lily and Flora would be going the second week of June.  Then, depending on interest Murtagh and Violet might be going down the third week.

 

Mr. Anderson had brought all sorts of pamphlets and  pictures of the facility.  There were all means of outdoor games and activities.  On Friday, Saturday and Sundays there was a ‘show’ like music or dancing in what I thought of as the hall.  Dinner was provided every night also.

 

Murtagh and Violet could stay in what they called a cottage.  There was a four bedroom available and that would give them plenty of room.

 

The second week we would be staying in what was known as ‘the castle’ since it was the oldest building and looked like a castle.  There were twelve bedrooms available and a small house in the back too.  If Fergus could bring a friend I thought I would likely offer that to him.  He needed to be given more freedom and responsibility as when we went back he would be seen as a man grown.  

 

The third week, if there was enough interest, Murtagh and Violet would go back.  

 

Mr. Anderson left and he was very excited.  

 

“Da, will ye ask Penny to go with us?” I asked.  Murtagh, Da and I were on the back porch.

 

“Aye, if there is room fer her to have her own room.” Da said and looked at me.

 

“There will be twelve bedrooms, of course there is room.” I said and he nodded.  I kent Da and Murtagh had an odd relationship and I could feel the tension.

 

“I’m to bed.” I said and left before they could say anything.  It felt very tense on the porch and I had the warm arms of my wife waiting for me.

 

**~**

 

Murtagh’s POV

 

The lad went to bed and I was going to leave, but I kent Brian was going to say something to me.  I waited it out.

 

“Thank ye fer making good on yer oath to protect yon Jamie, thank ye fer teaching him to fight.” Brian said after the silence had gotten too loud.

 

I stood up and looked at the man who was my laird.  “My oath was nay to you, and it is not doone yet.  Now the lad has a wife and six bairns for me to protect and I will.  And I wasna the only one teaching the lad to fight.” I said and left.

 

I kent he was going to say something else but I was out the door.  I had a wonderful woman waiting for me in bed.

 

**~**

 

Claire’s POV

 

I was waiting for Jamie in our bedroom.  I was waiting naked under the covers. I was so excited about the vacation dilemma being solved I was not just going to sleep tonight.

 

I also knew he might be a while; there was some friction between Brian and Murtagh and Jamie might have to help deal with that friction.  I think it was jealousy, but I wasn’t sure.  Maybe I could get Brian to Penny’s tomorrow for lunch while I went shopping.  That always seemed to put him in a good mood.

 

I heard Jamie coming up the steps and I got excited knowing he was close.  He paused outside the door, likely to turn down the oil lamp he carried at night.

 

He came in and sat the oil lamp on the dresser.  He was taking off his clothes when I sat up.

 

“I’m sorre’ I didna mean to wake ye-' ' Jamie was saying and stopped.  “Hmm, no night clothes, might ye catch a cold.?” he asked, teasing me.

 

“I was counting on my husband to keep me warm.” I said and tried to grab his leg but he darted just out of reach.  I could see his cock starting to grow.

 

I got up on my knees, turned around and pretended to fluff the pillows.  Jamie jumped on the bed behind me and I squealed.

 

“Now, now.” He said and pulled me up so I wasn’t on all fours anymore, just my knees.  He was on his knees about a hair's width behind me.

 

His hands ran from my shoulders to my thighs and I groaned a little.

 

**~**

Jamie’s POV

 

My Sassenach had been waiting for me naked.  I dinna think a man could want more than his naked wife waiting for him in bed.

 

We played a little and then I got behind her with my knees wrapped around hers to keep her close to me in case she fell over.  I ran my hands up and down her body and she moaned a little.  I smiled thinking of the sounds I would hear soon.

 

I kissed and nibbled that spot between her neck and shoulder that brought goosebumps to her body, then I took both her breasts in my hands and massaged them how she liked.  I felt her legs shaking a little and I laid her down on the bed.  She smiled at me and opened her legs, but I wasn’t taking her yet.

 

I kissed her, long and deep.  When she felt my finger at her opening she gasped and bit my upper lip, then my shoulder.  If she wanted rough, I could play rough.

 

I took both her hands in mine and she thought I was going to enter her again, but I went down to suckle her since she was leaking milk.  I stayed at her breasts until she was squirming and I loved every minute of it.

 

“Jamie, now, I need you now.” Claire whined.  I smiled and turned her back around.

 

She eagerly got up and backed herself into me.  I entered her hard and fast like she’s told me she liked before.   She moaned loudly and I covered her mouth.  She sucked on my fingers.

 

“Ja-Jamie, jus, there a minute.” Claire muttered.  I did as she asked and paused.  I kissed her back until she was ready to move.

 

She moved beneath me and backed herself even closer, “okay.” She mumbled

 

I pulled out and she whined my name, then looked at me like I had committed murder.

 

“I want to see ye Sassenach.” I said and helped her up to sit on me.  She took my cock in her hand first and stroked it.

 

“You need to catch up my love.” She said wickedly, and I smiled.

 

I held her up by the waist and she arranged my cock inside her.  We both moaned a bit. I was all the way inside her, and I wanted to explode just watching it.

 

Claire whimpered and I watched her face.  “ Mo chridhe, is it too much.” I asked, reaching for her waist to pull her back.

 

She smacked my hand away and anchored hers on my shoulders.  I put my hands on her hips.  She slowly started moving up and down and I felt her quivering inside her honey pot.  I knew she wouldna last long now.

 

I licked her neck and she made her little sounds that she makes when she is getting close.  I’d had my hands on her breasts but I started sucking hard on her nipples and I squeezed her arse.

 

“Jamie, Ja-mie, Jamie.” She said and squeezed my hands.  “I have to-” she was trying to tell me she was hitting her climax and I very much wanted to see it again.

 

I tilted my hips in the way she likes and went to rub the little pulsing point on her honey pot.

 

I held her close and whispered in her ear, “Let go, I’m inside you, I’ve got you.”  Her goosebumps rose again and I felt more signs inside her that she was hitting her climax.  Hey eyes opened, mere slits and I could see the whiskey gold getting larger. Her muscles contracted stronger, almost pulling me in.  She clenched and held it, then finally released it and put her head on my shoulder.

 

 My cock was throbbing for her by now.  I felt a strong urge to plant my seed deep and far inside her.

 

I controlled myself until she looked at me with that dreamy look, then my cock spasmed.  

 

“Jamie, I’m sorry, you haven’t.” She said in her soft voice.

 

“Nay, but I have a mind ta throw ye on this bed, wrap your legs around my me and plow ye until I plant my seed deep inside ye Claire.” I said and wished I hadn’t told her that.  Most times I think the only way to keep a wife is to keep your carnal side asleep.

 

But my Sassenach surprised me.  Her eyes changed and I felt her squeeze me again.  “Do it then, plow me and plant yer seed deep inside me.” She said slowly, mimicking a Scottish accent.

 

I moved and she wrapped her legs around my middle.  I adjusted her on the bed and I was reaching for another pillow for Claire to be comfortable.

 

“Jamie, take me.” She said quietly but forcefully and my cock quivered again.

 

I took her legs and put them over her shoulders.  “I am going to plow ye well mo chridhe.” I said and she whimpered.

 

I started my pace, and Claire was arching her body to reach me.  Soon, I felt her quivering again and I kent she was going to have another peak. I pushed inside her deeper and went faster.  I felt her honeypot spasming and drawing me in.  I saw her face and I watched her whiskey eyes as I planted my seed deep within her.

 

When I pulled myself from her she made that odd sound, like she didna want to be parted.  I lay next to her and pulled her to me.

 

I was wondering if she wanted to talk about it so I looked at my Sassenach but she was asleep already.  

 

I got up to turn the lamp out, then I held my Sassenach and fell asleep.

 

~

In the morning we woke together, but Claire got up to empty her breast milk into the bags she keeps to put in the freezer.

 

I went to the bathroom, bruised my teeth, then came back to watch her.  She sat, still naked, on the chair and switched breasts.

 

I got dressed and watched her yawn.

 

“Why don’t you go back to sleep?” I asked.

 

“I've got children to feed and I need to get a list together of what we will need for vacation.  I wanted to get your Father into town today.” Claire said.

 

“What for?'' I asked and I was looking for my shoes.

 

“I thought he might be able to have lunch with Penny while I went shopping.” She said.

 

“ A nighean, dinna fash.  Get some rest.  I love ye Claire.`` I said and she took my hand.  I led her back to the bed and pulled the blankets back.

 

“I love you too Jamie.” She said, got into bed and pulled the blanket up.

 

I heard the first awake child, so I kissed my wife and left the room.

 

**~**

 

I got the kids up and to the breakfast table.

 

“Mac, whit are ye smiling about so early?” My Da asked.

 

I was pouring juice and looked at him.  “Da, yer advice about knowing who the right woman was going to be was perfect.  I didna realize it at the time.  Thank ye fer that, I want ye to ken I appreciate it."  I told him as sincerely as I could while trying to get fruit peeled.  Da smiled, and got up to help me.

 

“I’m glad ye are happy with yer wife, she is a good woman, and she’s given ye many bairns.” Da said looking at the table now getting fuller.  Fergus and Faith were coming in, Ian, Ash, Brianna and wee Murtagh were already there.

 

“Aye, she has Da.” I said and after that we had to get going on food preparation.  I smiled as Fergus came to help and gave him a hug.  He was always helpful but, recently, I’ve noticed how ‘manly’ he was becoming and I was proud.

 

After breakfast was dealt with, Da took Ian and Ash outside.  He’d noticed Claire wanted them to talk so he would get a blanket and toys and take them outside and say things to them, trying to help the process.

 

Flora showed up a little early and took Brianna and wee Murtagh to the park in town.  I kent she liked to go to town as much as possible and thanked her.

 

Fergus and I went to the Library to go over his academic options for the summer and Faith followed.  Fergus sat her next to him and handed her a book.  She went to lay on the floor and worked on reading it.

 

“Whit are your options for summer?” I asked.  Just then Claire wandered in and said good morning to Fergus.  He told her he wanted to talk about summer options and she sat next to me.

 

An hour later he sighed again after finishing.

 

“Have you made a decision yet?” Claire asked.

 

I looked at Fergus and he looked at me.  “Well, I’m taking Gaelic and the history of Britain for sure, but I would like two more classes that I can't decide on.” Fergus said.

 

“And I’m taking the history of Britain and Scotland’s history.” I told Claire.

 

“What?” She asked me.

 

“Taking a class in history is a good idea, considering our plans.  I do nay want to put it all on the lad, so I’m taking the classes too.  I think.  I have to go to the school and find out if I can.”  I told her.

 

Claire sat back and looked at us.  “That is wonderful, if you want to do it Jamie, you should.”

Chapter 53: Holiday

Chapter Text

It was Saturday and I was sitting in the front yard with Murtagh and we had the children with us.  Jamie and Fergus went to see about enrollment for the college courses.  Brian was working the horses and Violet was working at the manse.

 

“Whit is it that has ye grinning lass?” Murtagh asked me.

 

“I was just thinking about how big our family is and how grateful I am for it.  I grew up with just me and my Uncle Lamb; it’s so nice our children will have siblings and memories of all of us.” I said, feeling rather blessed.  

 

“Aye, we are many for a family.” Murtagh said, like it was a bad thing.

 

I looked at him, “What’s going on?” I asked.

 

“Nothing lass, I am just feeling all the people in the house when I want to be alone with ma’ wife, ye ken?”  Murtagh said, sheepishly.

 

“I’m actually glad you brought that up.  I was going to ask you and Violet to drive to Oban Monday or Tuesday.  I need to know what type of stores the city has, how big the Anderson’s really is, and what hotels are in the area just in case. I can keep Roger and Ben, you can drive down and get a hotel, then come back the next day.” I said.

 

“So ye need to ken if it looks like the papers he brought, and how much ye have to pack or if we can go to stores there…. aye, I think we can do that.  I will ask Violet tonight.” Murtagh said, now smiling.

 

I nodded and looked back at the children.  Brianna was trying to get wee Murtagh, Ash and Ian to sing.  It was terrible but it made Murtagh and I laugh.

 

Murtagh sat a little in front of me so I could keep him easily in view and I saw his shoulders lift a bit.  He was burdened with the knowledge he would have to leave Violet sooner rather than later now that we’d passed our halfway mark in this time.  

 

“Och, lassie, there is a pain in my ears!” Murtagh said, then took Brianna and tossed her in the air.  She laughed and squealed and giggled.  The rest of the children gathered around his legs and begged to be next.

 

Soon Jamie and Fergus were home, and they brought good news.  They were both accepted as students!  I hugged them both and told Fergus I was proud of him.

 

“The place is so big, if it wasn’t for Fergus I’d been lost at least twice.” Jamie said and put his arm around Fergus’s shoulder.

 

They had two classes together and for that I was glad.  The schedule was 3 classes a week, then off for a week, then 3 classes a week, and so one.

 

“The schedule will work out for our trip to the Andersons.” I pointed out happily.

 

“Except I will not be able to go the first week.”  Fergus said and I think I saw Murtagh smile.

 

“That is too bad lad, we will miss ye.” Murtagh said, unable to hold the smile back.  Jamie and Fergus looked at him oddly, but let it go.

 

Soon Brian came to the front yard and Murtagh looked at Jamie and Jamie gave a tiny nod.  It was barely noticeable but I knew they were up to something.  Brian was caught up with Faith and missed it.

 

“Yon Lass has a meal ready if ye want to come into the house.” Brian said to us.

 

“Well, Da, I’ve something I need to ask ye.” Jamie said and Brian nodded at him.

 

“Fergus and I are going to attend University here, and-” Jamie started but Brian cut him off.

 

“Ye already attended University, why do ye need to go again?” Brian asked.

 

“For the updated history, to learn all the things that happened between then and now.  To help our family when we go back.” Jamie said.

 

“Aye, ...it's a smart move.” Brian said as if he were thinking.

 

“Well, I will have less time so I was wondering if you could pick up some of my work here.” Jamie asked.

 

Brian didn’t say anything for a minute.  He just looked at Jamie.  Then he said, “Aye.  Tell me what ye need and I will help ye and the family.”  Brian said and I could see it was a move to mend fences.  Jamie was showing his Father he would ask him over Murtagh for help.

 

Brian, Jamie and Murtagh picked up the children between them so I put my arm over Fergus’s shoulder and we went to dinner.  I called Fergus a college student and he smiled at that.

 

**~**

 

It was Tuesday and Murtagh and Violet had gone to Oban yesterday.  Roger took the opportunity to stay with us since his school was already off for the summer.  It was Fergus’s last week and Jamie had gotten up to drive him.

 

The rest of the children were still asleep so I blew kisses to him from my bed.  Brianna had a nightmare and woke Faith up before I could get to her.  They were both sleeping in our bed.

 

Fergus had smiled at me and left, but came back with the camera.  He took a picture of me from the door while I smiled for him.

 

They’d left and I was mentally preparing my day when wee Murtagh woke.  Within minutes my crew was up, Ben on the other hand slept through it all.

 

He looked fine but being the nurse that I am, I put my small mirror under his nose to be sure he was still breathing and he was, of course.  His color was good, maybe he was just a deep sleeper and that would be a quality to serve him well.

 

Brianna and wee Murtagh were soon arguing who got the sink first to brush their teeth.  Faith was upset that no one woke her to say goodbye to Fergus.  Ash was going through a stage where he had to be right next to me so I had him in a sling against my side while I was changing Ian’s dirty diaper.

 

Just when I started to smile because this was life with five children, little Ben started to cry. I almost laughed.  I was thinking of our vacation coming in two weeks where I would have all three of my wonderful helpers with us around the clock.

 

Ben had an almost magical power.  When he cried Faith, Brianna and wee Murtagh stopped what they were doing and came to see what was troubling ‘the wee bairn’ like they themselves weren’t considered bairns.  

 

The morning went on like this and I was surprisingly happy.  I started thinking about another baby and wondered what Jamie would think.  If we wanted another one this would be the time to have it; maybe I would make it to the hospital this time.

 

I was going to the hospital today for a four hour training class.  It was my official start and they were fine with me taking a vacation week since I was a part time nurse.  

 

Soon Jamie was back and he’d picked up Flora.  Our day had started.

 

**~**

 

Jamie’s POV

 

Claire went to training for the hospital and I was home with the bairns trying to read the first chapter of my history book.  I didn’t know how she managed the bairns and got anything done. Usually I had one or two at a time, but Flora was cooking dinner so I had our five, wee Benny and Roger.  The same number of children Claire had this morning for a few hours and when I came home she was smiling and happy.

 

It was hard to keep the children all safe because it was almost impossible to keep them all in your line of sight. Time went fast though, and I heard Claire pull the car into the driveway.  She had picked up Fergus and they were talking loudly as they came in.

 

“I don’t know how you say that about United States football!” Claire said to Fergus and pushed him on his arm good-naturedly as they walked through the door.  As soon as they were inside the children all flocked to them and Claire and Fergus were both sitting on the ground to say hello to everyone at once.  Roger finally put his toy guitar down, stood behind Claire and hugged her neck a little roughly.

 

“Roger lad, ye are going to be our bard!” I said, picked him up and tossed him in the air to get him off Claire.  

 

“I see you are discussing important things but please pick up a child or two.  I’m having a hard time keeping all of them safe at one time.” I told them.

 

“Jamie, they’re going to get hurt, it’s part of growing up.” My Sassenach said.  Obviously something was wrong with her since she usually made sense.

 

“Nay Sassenach, nay.” I said and picked up Ian as he tried to crawl away.

 

She laughed a little, kissed me briefly and went to talk to Flora with Ash in her arms.  

 

Fergus got down on the floor to play with his siblings.  Faith, Brianna and wee Murtagh were instantly with him wanting to hear about his day.  They wanted to do everything he did.  I picked up Ian and went to talk to my wife.

 

“How was your training?” I asked her and checked on Ben still sitting in his chair holding a bottle.  We had two sizes of bottles for the wee bairns and Ben had to have the small one.  He wanted to hold it but he couldn’t hold the big one.  

 

“It was fantastic! I have one shift this week.” Claire said, still smiling.  I smiled back at her, just because she was smiling.  She was so beautiful.

 

“Tomorrow is my last day at school, and Friday is our first day at University, are ye ready Da?” Fergus asked in his always French but slight Scottish accent.  He had called me Père (French for Father) for a little while but one day he had talked to Claire, and from that day on he called me Da. 

 

“Nay, I didna read the first chapter yet.” I said and he smiled at me.

 

“After dinner the two of you will sequester yourself in the library.” Claire said.

 

We ate and Da came home.  He had spent the afternoon with Penny going to lunch and going shopping.  Da took the evening chores, Fergus and I spent three hours in the library going over our new class books and talking about the first chapters.  Fergus was an amazing student and I was very proud of him.

 

Da and Claire had listened to a radio program after the bairns were all in bed.  After it was over they came into the library and asked us if we were going to read all night.

 

“I would if my eyes would stay open.” Fergus said and smiled his cheeky grin.  Claire kissed his cheek and told him to go to bed.  I went up to bed also.  Murtagh and Violet weren’t home yet but we didna worry.

 

It was a good day and my wife was happy and fulfilled.  There was peace in my house, what more could a man want?

 

And then...

 

A few hours after I went to bed I heard a sound.  I jumped out of bed and grabbed my dirk.  

 

“Jamie.” Claire said in her groggy voice.

 

“Hush Sassenach, I heard something.” I said, then she heard it and I saw her eyes grow large.

 

“I will go down, ye get the gun and wait at the top of the stairs in case they get by me.” I said and went out the door.

 

I went slowly and quietly down the stairs.  There were definitely two people and they were nay being quiet.

 

I got to the bottom step and heard what sounded like kissing.

 

“Oh Murtagh.” I heard and put my dirk down.

 

“Vi.” I heard Murtagh say his name for Violet.  I crouched down in hope they wouldna see me.  “Let’s get to our room so I can get that dress off of ye.” Murtagh said and I crouched down lower.

 

After they were safely in their room I started going up the stairs.  “Sassenach, it’s just me.” I whispered.  We’d had a scare a few months back when some tourists were lost looking for Inverness.  When I’d come back up the steps Claire had almost shot me.

 

I got up the stairs and I saw Claire with her gun down.  “I heard.” She said and looked at me.  We managed to get back to our room before we were laughing.

 

Time went by quickly as it tends to do and soon Fergus was out of school and he and I were officially students at the University. Claire was working two or three days a week at the hospital and it was time for Murtagh, Violet and Ben to leave.  

 

The Reverend felt like he’d been spending a lot of time away and wanted to keep Roger home.  Roger wasn’t very happy but the Reverend had planned a short holiday for the two of them.  

 

Mr. Anderson was very happy with his decision to hire us because all the spots for lessons were full before Murtagh even got there.  He’d contacted us to ask for the extra week and Murtagh and Violet and Dad and Penny were planning to be there the week after Claire and I were.  At first I was concerned but Murtagh and Da had reached peace and it would likely be fine.

 

My classes were fantastic.  There was so much history to learn I was amazed.  Fergus took it in stride.  He’d told me, ‘ You do not look at it as a whole, you learn it a bit at a time, you look at it a bit at a time’ and that was a good way to go.

 

Violet and Murtagh called us once that week to let us know how things were going.  They were both having a lot of fun and it seemed that Murtagh had become very popular.  They told us it was nice and we would enjoy it.

 

Claire worked four days that week and was very tired.  I didn’t say anything to her, as much as I wanted to ask her to slow down.  My wife is an intelligent, resourceful woman and I knew I had to let her see four days was too much.

 

Murtagh and Violet came home and they were both so happy ye’d think they were young newlyweds.  “Ye’re going to love it, there are big meals every night, good food.”  Murtagh said and Violet laughed.

 

“There are also a lot of activities, and there are a few families from Roger’s school so mayhaps he will have friends there.” Violet said after laughing about Murtagh’s food comment.

 

“Is there anything for the children?” Claire asked Violet.

 

“Och, aye, they come around and try to persuade the young bairns to go to their day camp.” Violet said.

 

“What’s day camp?” I asked.

 

“They have workers who try to teach the bairns to swim and play ball and things.” Violet said and I looked at Claire.  She was looking at me too and I knew we wouldna let the children go if we didna think it was safe but, if it was safe, maybe to have afternoons alone with my Sassenach… that was a good thought.

~*~

 

That night in bed, after we made love, we talked and made a plan to check out this day camp.  Claire even thought about sending Flora, Mary and Lily with the bairns to help out.  We trusted them to keep the children safe throughout the week, and we ate their food they cooked and if that’s not trust…

 

The next day Fergus and I got our two cars packed up and ready to go.  Mary was picking up Flora and Lily and driving them down, and it was a good thing.  Both the cars were very full.

 

It was a slow trip because we had to stop often to change, feed or amuse one of the bairns.  It was alright, we planned on it and got to Andersons in plenty of time.  

 

As soon as we got there we had to check in, like at an Inn.  We followed the map and arrived at a place that truly did look like a castle.  It had a large sign on the front that said ‘Welcome Frasers!’.

 

I got out of the car as did Fergus and his friend Malcolm.  Claire got out behind me and together we got all the children out of the cars.  Mary, Lily and Flora came out of the house.

 

“Halo Mr Jamie, ye dona have to unload, they unload for ye.” Lily said and pointed to the road.  There were two small weird cars coming into the driveway.

 

Claire put her hand on my hand that she knew was reaching for my dirk.  Six lads about Fergus’s age jumped out of the car.

 

“Welcome Mr. and Mrs. Fraser.  Perhaps you would like to explore the inside of the Castle while we get your bags inside?” The lad in charge said.

 

“Aye, whit’s yer name lad?” I asked him.

 

“Scott sir, would you like help with your Children?” He asked and went to reach for my Ian.

 

“Nay lad, thank ye.” I said and picked up Ian myself.  Fergus had Ash and Claire had Faith, Brianna and wee Murtagh with her.  Da and Penny had yet to arrive but they left after we did. Murtagh and Violet had kept wee Ben and Roger was still on holiday with his Father the Reverend.

 

I took Fergus and Malcolm behind the house.  “Aye Da?” Fergus said.

 

“Look into that dwellin’ will ye lad?  It’s supposed to be a house in itself and I thought ye and Malcolm might want to be away from the bairns, but only if ye like.  There are plenty of bedrooms in the big house if ye decide ye do nay like it.” I said and Malcolm was already walking to the house.

 

“Thanks Da.” Fergus said and smiled at me, gave me Ash, then he followed Malcolm.

 

Fergus and Malcolm seemed alright so Ian, Ash and I went inside the house where it had become loud.  Faith, Brianna and wee Murtagh were running through the house.

 

I whistled and they stopped.

 

“Let's see where we will sleep.”  But just then a small bus stopped outside and honked the horn.

 


“Oh, Claire, Mr Jamie, that is the bus to day camp.  I ken ye have nay checked it out, but we did earlier today and we will stay with the bairns. Can we take wee Murtagh, Brianna and Faith?   Three of them, three of us.” Mary asked.

 

Claire looked at me and I was alright with it.  The Lasses we chose to help us with the bairns were good Lasses and since it was one to one it would be fine.

 

“Yes, that will be fine, thank you.” Claire said. Then the lasses rounded up a supply bag and they went on the small bus to day camp.  Faith had been skeptical about leaving but she left when Flora told her they’d get there for snack time. 

 

Claire and I explored the house with Ian and Ash.  It really was nice and I was impressed.

 

There was a wing to the south of the castle where four bedrooms were and it seemed like the lasses had taken those and it was a good choice; they would have a small kitchen and two bathrooms to themselves.

 

I would probably ask Penny if she wanted the other one.  Da made it very clear she was to have her own bedroom. 

 

In the main part of the Castle were two bedrooms, and six on the second floor.  There were two bathrooms on the bottom floor in the main area and two more on the second floor.  The kitchen was very big and there were two refrigerators and two stoves. 

 

“Sassenach, I think they want to be ready ta feed an army.” I said and we looked around in the kitchen.  There was already a lot of food there.

 

“I guess, twelve bedrooms, twenty four adults could be staying here.” She said and I nodded.  In my time that number would be larger.

 

“Mam, Sir, all of your luggage has been unloaded to the great hall.”  I heard Scott say.  Claire took a bill out of her pocket and handed it to me.

 

“You tip them.” She whispered.

 

“Aye.” I said, grudgingly. Paying for a service that I didn’t ask for wound me up a bit.  I smiled and said thanks though. My Sassenach seemed happy and I didna want to spoil it.

 

Fergus and Malcolm came in to say they loved having their little house.  They took their luggage and a bag of food out to the little house.

 

Since they were asleep we put Ian and Ash in in the baby beds that were in one of the second floor bedrooms and went back out to what they called the great hall.  

 

“Do ye want me to get the food into the iceboxes in the kitchen first?” I asked.  When I heard no reply I turned to look at my Sassenach.  My eyes just about popped out of my heid.

 

“Did ye have something else in mind?” I said while I picked up my wife.  She squealed as I took her and her pile of clothes to the back bedroom and tossed her on the bed.  I looked at her, and as I did so often, thanked God for giving me this woman.

 

Much later I was emptying our food we brought into the ice boxes while my Sassenach was still recovering.  She’d brought a lot of food for us and I was grateful.

 

Mr. Anderson came around, and seemed a bit put off when I met him outside.  If Claire had managed to sleep I kent his booming voice would wake her.  Today I had a demonstration after dinner and two lessons.  He told me Murtagh had drawn quite a crowd and hoped I would be able to do the same.   I smiled and just let him go on, he was very proud of himself.

 

Thankfully, Claire came out to tell me Ian was crying for me and Mr. Anderson left.  By the time I came in she had both bairns in the front hall and she’d taken off her top to feed Ash.  I looked at her for a minute and I felt my cock stir.  The sunlight from the high windows played in her hair and I was struck with a strong desire to hold her.  She felt me looking at her and looked up.

 

"I know, I should get a bottle, it's just easier." She said thinking I was looking at her because she was breastfeeding Ash.  There was nothing more beautiful in this world than watching one of my children drink from their Mother's breast.  Well, maybe Claire when she is pregnant and swollen with my child.

 

“Da Da” Ian said while pulling on my pant leg.  I picked him up and turned to the kitchen.  I would hold my Sassenach later, for now I had to share her with our bairns, just as she had to share me.

 

After Ian and Ash had drunk their milk and Claire and I had a few snacks we were sitting in the front room talking about what we wanted to do this week.  There was the bus that stopped in the front and the lasses and the bairns got out.  

 

Flora, Lily and Mary greeted us then went straight to the kitchen.  Brianna, wee Murtagh and Faith came straight to us and all three talked at the same time to tell us what they did.  There was a bag with pine cones, leaves and such in it and they were going to make pictures tomorrow with their ‘stuff’ as they called it.  It seemed like they had a very good time.  

When it was time to go have dinner I went down to the little house to get Fergus and Malcolm.  It seemed like they had already attracted a few girls and they were standing outside talking to them.  I managed to wait for their new acquaintances to move on and told them it was time to go up to get dinner.

 

Claire had put on a dress and looked beautiful.  The youngest bairns were washed, fed and in their pram.  Faith, Brianna and wee Murtagh walked and Faith acted like she was in charge, it was annoyingly cute.  Fergus and Malcolm had come behind wee Murtagh and Brianna and swooped them up to ride on their backs.  Faith looked a little put out, but I was glad; she was getting a mite full of herself.

When we got there it was well set up, and the room looked nice. There was a large table saved for us in the front.  I could see Claire was a little nervous but she got comfortable.  The meal was enough for us to eat for a whole day, and I was shocked at the food that was wasted.  I was going to talk to Mr. Anderson, maybe there was some way around the waste.  

 

Dinner was delicious and a group of people were playing music to dance to.  I danced with my Sassenach once.  The wanes were falling asleep and it was time to get them home.

Fergus and Malcolm were staying.  The lasses they had talked to had found them.  Mary, Flora and Lily along with Claire and I were getting our five young ones home when Mr. Anderson stopped me at the door.

“Mr. Fraser, surely you aren’t leaving?” He asked.

“Aye, I am getting my family home then I will be back.” I said calmly.  Mr. Anderson moved in front of me and blocked my path.  

“Now Mr. Fraser-” Mr. Anderson started to say but I interrupted him.

I stepped in closer to him to be sure no one else heard me.  “ I will see my family home tonight and every night I am here.  If you still disagree I will do it by walking over you in front of all these fine people.  I hope I don’t have to do that.” I practically growled at the man.

Claire started to say something but I gave her a look before she even got a word out.

Mr. Anderson smiled and stepped aside.  “Please Mr. Fraser, see your family home before the demonstration.”  He said.

“Thank you Mr. Anderson, I will be back soon in time.” I said and we left.

 

We left and were halfway back to the castle before anyone said anything.  It was Mary, and she laughed.  That started Flora and Lily laughing.

 

“Can you imagine, that man thinking he was going to keep Mr. Jamie from his family.” Lily said to Mary and they laughed again.

 

I looked at Claire and she was looking at me.  I knew the look, she was proud.

 

~~*~~

Claire’s POV

 

Jamie gave his demonstration and lessons that first night.  He was in fine form that night when he got back.  Mary, Flora and Lily had helped me get the Children down.  Fergus and Malcolm had come in to tell me goodnight, and I had fallen asleep reading a novel in bed.

 

Jamie had woken me when he’d returned and we made passionate, fiery love that night.  As it worked out, we had sex after every one of his sessions where he gave sword fighting lessons.  

 

The days progressed in that slow, but over all too soon way days on holiday do. Jamie and I played tennis and volleyball.   We painted and swam.  And we made love two and three times a day.  

 

We spent a lot of time with Ash and Ian while Faith, wee Murtagh and Brianna were at the day camp they enjoyed very much.  We tried to spend time with Fergus and his friend but they were intent on freedom and girls.

 

Jamie and Mr. Anderson made up, and for that I was glad.

 

Brian and Penny never made it.  They called and said they were stuck at a motel halfway due to car problems.  I teased Jamie that when they got back home they would likely be married.  They called again halfway through the week to let us know they were fine and enjoying themselves so we didn’t worry.

 

I called Murtagh the day we were leaving to come home and he sounded happy.  I wondered if Violet would be going back with us.  

The drive back was slow.  I wondered how long it would be until we took the trip young Murtagh had told me about; when we found the rock the family used, and I did the math in my head.  Maybe I should start planning it.

 

As much as I loved each of my children I looked forward to more time alone with Jamie

 

Chapter 54: Drinking

Notes:

Hello Readers!
I know, its been a lloonngggg time.

I stepped away from this project to complete another one and I'm finally back. I'm planning to get a chapter a week up.

I hope everyone is doing well.
All credit goes to Diana Gabaldon who owns all rights to Outlander. And I thank her for these fine characters.

Chapter Text

Chapter 54

Claire POV
When we got home Murtagh and Violet met us outside. “Muta” Faith said and tried to get out of the car before he opened the door and she launched herself at him. I got out and hugged Violet.

“Everyone doing alright?” I asked
“Oh, aye Claire, we are fine.” She said with a smile. I hugged Murtagh too, and we got our bags in the house. Da and Penny were out for a ride and after everyone was settled in the house Violet asked me to go for a walk.

I was surprised but of course I went with her.

We walked for a few minutes and she didn’t say anything so I started with what I guessed was on her mind. “Murtagh asked me about taking you back in time with us, I would be happy to take you, but I understand it is a difficult decision.” I said as we walked.

“Aye, that is what I wanted to talk to ye about. It is nay a hard decision to stay with Murtagh, but it is difficult to leave my children, my family. Do ye think ye will be back?” She asked.

“I don’t really know. I don’t think we will be back to live in this time, but as long as we plan it I know I can bring you back.” I told her. I looked at her and she looked pained. “Violet,” I stopped walking and held her hand. “I know it's got to be a difficult choice, but you don’t have to decide now. We have time.” I said and she nodded.


“Ye know, when I first married Murtagh, I was resigned that it would be fer a time and that was fine. But knowing there is a choice, to stay in my life or stay with Murtagh, that is difficult.” She said and looked at me. “It would not be difficult fer you would it?” She asked.

I looked at her, surprised with the question. I thought for a minute to give the right answer. “For me right now, no it wouldn’t be a difficult choice, I would go with Jamie. But you are established here, you have friends and children and maybe grandchildren soon. I never stayed in one place as long as you did Violet, the longest I was ever in one place was the war and we were still moving all over the place. It is a different and difficult choice.” I said.

“Whit if I decide to stay and Murtagh stays with me?” She asked.

“Then that is his choice and it will be fine. We will miss you both very much, but it is his choice.” I said.

“I didna think I could allow Murtagh to do that, I ken about the oath he made to Jamie and to you. I wouldn’t do that to him.” She said.

“Murtagh loves you, he would be released from his oath to stay with his love.” I said but she looked dubious.

“Do you think you will stay?” I asked.

“Nay, I think I will go. I dinna ken how I will be without my children though.” She said.

We walked back then and I took her hand.

Da and Penny were back from their ride when we got back and hellos were exchanged. Murtagh, Violet, Da and Penny were getting ready to leave.

They had a bag packed for Ben, and I asked, “Are you sure you don’t want to leave him with me for the week?”

Murtagh looked at Violet with a little hope in his face. “Nay Claire, thank ye though.” Violet said.

Jamie said, “Ye have two separate cottages, but I did ask that they be next to each other. Make sure ye check in separately to get the keys to both places.”

Da nodded and looked at the children playing on the floor in the living room, but Murtagh looked at Jamie and I could see he was grateful.

They left, and told us they would phone us when they got checked in to let us know they made it safely.
Faith cried.
A lot.

I got the babies down for a nap but Faith was stubbornly sitting at the table. Fergus soothed her often but he was on the phone with a friend.

“Faith baby, Murtagh will be back in a week. He’s going on vacation, like we just did.” I said.

“He went on vacation, then we went on vacation, why does he have ta go again?” She asked.

“He’s also working, he’s giving sword fighting lessons like I did on vacation.” Jamie said and tried to pick her up.

She pushed Jamie away and yelled, “I want my Muta” rather loudly.

Fergus got off the phone and came to sit at the table with us. “What is all this, why are you being rude?” he asked and Faith looked up and said she was sorry.

“What it is mon cher, what has you troubled?” Fergus asked.

“I want my Muta.” Faith said.

“Why can’t he enjoy a week with his wife?” Fergus said and Faith looked startled. I don’t think she had an answer to that.

“I’m goin to go take a nap and I don’t need help.” Faith said and she got up and went to her room.

“Fergus, you are smarter than I ever knew.” I said and took his hand.

“She feels closer to him, she has told me she remembers him.” Fergus said, looking at his parents.

“Remember him from when?” Jamie asked.

“From when Maman was carrying her. She has sung me some songs he sang to her in the Gaelic, and one I sung to Mamam in French.. She has told me a story Murtagh told us that I remember from Paris.” Fergus said and I looked at Jamie.

“Are you sure, that seems unlikely.” I said, more than a little surprised.

“Oui Mamam, we have gone over it several times. I would not think it so either, but she remembers.” Fergus said then got up to make himself a sandwich.

Jamie looked at me. “Is it possible?” He asked.

“Normally I would say it's highly unlikely, but Faith is different.” I said.

Jamie seemed to think about that for a minute, then got up to go check on the livestock.

Fergus and I played tic tac toe while he ate his sandwich, then he said he was going to go read his books for tomorrow's classes.

I wandered out to the barn to find my highlander sitting on some hay.

“Penny for your thoughts.” I said while walking up to him. Jamie put his arm around me.

“My oldest daughter thinks of Murtagh as more of a Father than me. And she has every right too.” He said.

“Why are you saying this? I remember you coming home and talking to my belly every chance you got, and just because she remembers him doesn't mean she doesn’t remember you.” I said and rubbed his shoulders.

He nodded. “Aye, but Murtagh was there more than me.” He said.

“Jaime, you were doing what we decided you had to do, we were trying to change a war. Our infant daughter and now our four year old wouldn’t understand that.” I said, trying to make him see the reality of what was going on then, and not just the guilt he was feeling.

He nodded, and held out his hand to me. We went back to the house and I deposited a textbook in Jamie's hands to get his mind on something else. He was starting his classes tomorrow and I wanted him to be prepared.

I planned dinner and when the twins got up I caught Faith talking to them. I went in and gave her a hug, then got Brianna and wee Murtagh to their potties. I got Ian and Ash changed and the four of us walked out to Faith hugging Jamie and saying, “I’m sorry Da.” He told her it was alright and he came in the kitchen to help me get our brood fed.

We had leftovers from Violet for dinner for Jamie, Fergus and I. After we got the 4 littlest ones to bed Fergus, Jamie, Faith and I played a board game. She seemed to have lost her bad mood especially when we let her win. Jamie took her to bed that night alone, and Fergus told me how excited he was to be taking classes at the University.

Jamie came back and we talked about plans for tomorrow. Jamie was going to the bed and breakfast early to work in the morning and he would be home at lunch. He and Fergus would get something to eat and head to classes. Flora and Lily were going to be here tomorrow and I was going to take Faith, Brianna and wee Murtagh to afternoon class. We moved Brianna and wee Murtagh to afternoon class to make the schedule easier and they took to it well. I was going to pick up a book order and then go grocery shopping, picking them up on my way home. Fergus and Jamie should be home around dinner time, or a little later.

We talked with Jenny and Ian that night and told them about our holiday. Jenny was shocked that Penny went with Da, but I tried to explain the freedom women have in this time, and Penny was widowed. I think Jenny understood, even widowed women in her time had more freedom. We passed them a lot of food and I was exhausted afterwards. We went to bed and I slept soundly.

The next day went smoothly, except Jamie was thirty minutes late to get home from the bed and breakfast. I packed several sandwiches in a sack for him to eat on the way. When Faith, Brianna, wee Murtagh and I left Ian and Ash were still awake and sitting on Flora’s lap. They were practically falling asleep and she was trying to keep them awake for a little longer.

I got the three I had to preschool and picked up our book order. I knew I had a little extra time so I browsed in one of the clothing shops. I saw a nightgown that I was sure to get my husband's attention in and bought it. I also saw a billboard with different posts on it in the shop and an idea struck me about getting clothes for the trip back home. If we had them made it would be to our specifications! I took a few names and numbers and decided to talk to Jamie about it.

I did our grocery shopping and went to pick up my children. I was a little early and I went in and sat in the waiting area. The office clerk came out to get me and asked if I could speak to the owner of the preschool, so I went with her.

I had several thoughts about what might be the matter. Brianna or wee Murtagh wet themselves, Faith’s bad mood not gone. But it wasn’t for any of those reasons. Faith had been doing very well and they wanted to recommend her for the pre-kindergarten program. She was a year early but they said she was ahead of the other children and they didn’t think that they could teach her much more. I thanked them and took the information, letting them know that I would talk it over with her Father.

On the way home they were all three talking about their day, as usual, and I gave the appropriate nods and smiles. When we got home Jamie and Fergus were home to my surprise. They were waiting on the front porch for us.

“Hi, I didn’t expect you home yet!” I said and hugged them both.

“Since today was our first day we were let out a bit early.” Fergus said after I kissed his cheek.

“Aye Sassenach, the classroom’s are big, ye should see them.” Jamie said, smiling the whole time, and I smiled back at him.

“Will you help me unload the boot please?” I asked as I got the children out of their seats.

We got everything in and I made sure to grab my bag from the clothing store and put it on our bed. Flora sat Ian and Ash in the walkers and she put away the groceries. I sat in the living room and called for Jamie and Fergus.

They came in and I said, “Tell me all about it.”

They had plenty to tell. Normally they wouldn’t but today they had thirty minutes between classes so they went to a coffee shop, and two girls asked Fergus to a party tonight. I had teased Jamie about not getting asked but apparently the woman who worked in the coffee shop gave Jamie her phone number. Wrote it right on the cup! Her name, her number and wrote 'call me’ then drew a kissy face. I admit, I saw a bit of red for more than a moment.

Jamie squeezed my hand and said, “There are plenty of coffee shops there, we already agreed not to go back to that one.”

I smiled and tried to act like it was nothing. I trusted my husband. They started talking about classes and that was an exciting topic. Jamie and Fergus went to the first two together but Fergus’s last class was alone. Jamie sat outside the classroom and read his books when Fergus was in class. I was glad Jamie had a little free time.

We had dinner and talked more about their classes. Flora left for the night. Then it was time for baths and we put the children down for the night. Faith was always last since she was the oldest and she liked that quite a bit. Fergus and Jamie were in the library studying and I got the papers about Faith and went in to interrupt them.

I explained what I had been told and asked Jamie what he thought.

“Everyone will be a year older than her, and she is already the smallest.” He said in an indecisive voice.

“Mamma, Da, oui, you have to let her go.” Fergus said, and we both looked at him.

“This is not our time, we are here to be together, be safe and to learn everything we can so we can be better, no?” Fergus said.

“You’re right son, do ye think she will have trouble o’er her size?” Jamie asked.

Fergus thought for a moment. “If she were a boy, oui, there would be a lot of teasing. But she is not, at my school the smaller girls are just thought of as cute.” He said and shrugged.

“Thank you Fergus.” I said.

“Do you know where this is? It is in a building attached to my school.” He said.

“Will that be a probl-“ Jamie started to ask but Fergus cut him off.

“No! Why would that be a problem? I will be proud to walk my sister to class.” Fergus said.

Jamie looked at him and nodded. If he hadn’t asked I probably would’ve, what teenage boy would want to walk his little sister? Ours. I thought about it, feeling very proud of him.
“I know, one day, your little brothers and sisters are going to tell you how happy they are to have you to look up to.” I said and stood. I kissed his cheek and said, "I’m for bed, I need to get up early tomorrow.”

I kissed Jamie. “Don’t stay up too long studying you two.”

I put the bag with the nightgown and little slips of paper from the billboard under the bed. A conversation for another day. I was working tomorrow and Thursday this week, and I was excited to go. I went to sleep right away that night. I didn’t wake up when Jamie came to bed, but I woke up with the dawn. I lay there for a minute trying to make sense of something and realized that Jamie was sitting in the rocking chair reading Brianna a story.

I sat up and smiled at them. “Good morning loves.” I said and Brianna climbed into bed with me.

“Momma, my ear hurts.” She said and pointed to her left ear. I held her close and touched her left ear. My hand lit. I looked up at Jamie and he was looking at us. I put my hand right on her left ear and it was brighter for a moment.

“That feels better. Thank ye Momma.” She said and then lay down. I looked back at Jamie.

“Sassenach, how do ye feel?” He asked, looking concerned.

“I’m tired, but fine.” I said and smiled at him.

I looked at Bree, but she was back to sleep. Jamie scooped her up and took her back to the nursery. He came back to bed and held me close to him, spoon fashion.
“Ye have an hour before ye have to get up, close your eyes.” Jamie whispered and I didn’t need to be told twice.

The morning came quickly and I got showered and ready to go with plenty of time. I ate breakfast and giggled with my children. Fergus was visiting with a friend today and rides were arranged yesterday. Jamie drove me to work.

“Whit do ye think we should do about Faith Sassenach?” He asked as soon as we pulled out of the driveway.

“Well, I think we should wait for Murtagh to come home and talk to him, he’s seen her at school without us, he might have a better insight on how she might do.” I said.

“That’s a good point, I didna think of that.” Jamie said.

“Are you working all day today or coming home after you drop them off at preschool?” I asked.

“Ooc, coming home. I have reading to do, and I fancy a bit of play with Ian and Ash.” He said and I squeezed his hand. “How are ye feeling about work?” Jamie asked me.

“I’m excited!” I’m getting trained on different techniques today and I can’t wait.” I said.

“Ye and yer wee beasties.” He said and smiled at me. I scooted closer for a snuggle before work.

Work that day was great, as I thought it would be and I was happy when Jamie, Brianna, Faith and wee Murtagh picked me up with ice cream all over their faces. Even Jamie had some on his cheek. They talked about their day in preschool, Jamie talked about what he’d read today and I talked about my new training. It was a loud and talkative ride.

Lily was at the house today, and made a joke about a snack before dinner not being needed. Fergus wasn’t due home till after dinner. Jamie was going out with a few of the men he worked with to get a hamburger and a pint. One of them was getting married next week so they were giving a proper send off into married life. I asked Jamie to be home at a reasonable time and not drink too much because he had work and school in the morning. He nodded and placated me probably, but I worried.

I got our young ones in bed and then Faith. Fergus was home in time to read her a story in French and she liked that very much. Fergus asked for a few more books for next week because the classes he was in went over them. I told him I would look for them or order them. He was writing Jenny and Ian a letter then going to bed.

Lily went home and I listened to a radio program, then read the first chapter of one of Jamie’s textbooks. It was about the origins of the Gaelic language and honestly I found it a little dull. When I started the second chapter I fell asleep on the couch.

I woke to someone pulling in the driveway and several men in the driveway yelling. I jumped up and hit the floor. -Get up Beauchamp, this isn’t the war-. I stood up, and went to our bedroom to see if Jamie left me on the couch. He wasn’t there, but his pistol was and I picked that up. I went back to the living room and decided I wasn’t waiting around, I opened the front door and yelled, “What do you want?”

There was complete silence, then a lot of men started laughing. A man got out from behind the wheel and said, “I’m sorry to disturb ye, are ye Mrs. Fraser?” He asked.

“Sassenach!” I heard Jamie yell and I put the gun down. He was obviously very drunk.

“What if I refuse delivery?” I said, mostly joking.

“Ma’am?” The driver asked, the other men laughed hysterically.

“It was a joke, I’m Mrs. Fraser. Thank you for bringing him home safely.” I said and walked out to shake the driver's hand. He was sober and I was grateful for that.
Jamie was lying on the ground, seemingly unable to get up under his own power. I tried to get him standing and was unable. I thought quickly. “Please, would you mind helping me get him to the back porch? There is a swing we could lay him on.” I explained.

“Sure Ma’am” The driver said.

“I’m going to run into the house and grab a few pillows.” I said and ran inside. I grabbed a few of the throw pillows on the couch and tossed them on the swing. I ran back to the car. “All ready.” I said.

The driver pulled him up and I took one side while the driver took the other side. We got him on the swing and he was out quickly. I shook the driver's hand, “Thank you so much, I’m sorry, I never got your name.” I said.

“Roger Ma’am, the bridegroom to be.” He said and smiled.

“Well, thank you very much Roger, I really appreciate you getting Jamie home safely, and congratulations.” I said and shook his hand again.

“Ooc, aye Ma’am. Have a good night.” He said and left.

I turned back to Jamie. Should I be nice and let him sleep it off? That's what I should do, but I wanted to throw a bucket of water on him. I didn’t. What I did was set him up so if he vomited he would be alright. I got a bucket right next to him and also sat a picture of water near him. It was a warm night but I covered him up with a blanket, locked the door and stood there.

Maybe that's cruel, he is a good husband and father, I should be graceful about this one little slip. I went back outside and made sure he had his keys in his pocket. This way he could come in when he wanted and the children wouldn’t see him this drunk. Maybe I should arrange with Violet and Murtagh to get more nights out of the house and I could take my own husband out to get drunk. Just then he peed himself and my resolve was solid about him spending the night on the porch.

I went back inside and made sure my alarms were set. I wanted to be up before the children to get Jamie situated. Then I went to sleep.

I was a little miffed, but not really angry. I slept soundly.

When my alarm went off I got up and knew I had to do something. It took my groggy mind a moment to remember but I grabbed my robe and shoes then went to the front porch.

He hadn’t moved. There was more urine on him, a lot more. I was starting to wonder how much he had drunk. I felt his pulse, checked for a fever, he seemed fine. A little sweaty, but that was to be expected.

“Jamie, Jamie.” I said, trying to wake him. He grunted and pushed my hand away. I didn’t want to yell because I was afraid to wake the children and they would see him. I swung the swing, thinking the movement might wake him but it didn’t. I thought for a minute. Mary and Flora were going to be here soon and I didn’t want them to see him either. I picked up the picture of water and took the top off. I threw it on him.

He sputtered, “Aargh, what’s that fer?”

“You wouldn’t wake.” I said.

“I why do I hav’ta wake?” He said.

“You are laying on the swing smelling of beer and piss. The children will be up soon.” I said.

He finally opened his eyes and looked around. He sat up and I handed him the bucket. He did a good job of filling it.

“Sassenach.” He said.

“Up.” I said. I handed him the bucket because I thought he might need it again.

I took his other hand, got him in the house, and marched him to the bathroom the children don’t use. I put the bucket on the floor and got him to get in the tub. “You reek Jamie, you will rinse off with those clothes on, then take them off to take a proper shower.” Just then I heard Ian. “I’ll be back with fresh clothes.” I said and walked out.
I got Ian and Ash up and changed. Then brought Jamie a change of clothes. He was standing naked over the toilet, still emptying his stomach. I sat the fresh clothes on the sink and closed the door.

Ash wanted to nurse and I let him after I warmed Ian up a bottle. Brianna and wee Murtagh were awake and Faith was being loud trying to distract them. Flora called to say she would be thirty minutes late and since she picked up Mary then would both be late. I told her it was fine, just be sure to let Mary know. When I put the phone down Fergus was in the doorway.

“Are you alright? What's going on?” He asked. I thought about just telling him the truth, but wondered if it was my truth to tell.

“Your Father is in the bathroom, Mary and Flora will be late. Would you please keep an eye on Ian so I can get the rest of them up?” There, that is the truth without making Jamie look bad.

“Of course Mamam, go.” He said and picked up Ian.

“How about coming to my room, I have lots of good books.” I heard him say as I was leaving.

I had to lay Ash down momentarily which he didn’t like. Brianna and wee Murtagh made it to their potty chairs, and I was thankful.

“Whit’s going on, they were makin a kebbie lebbie in there?” Faith asked and I looked down at her and thought of Murtagh. I had to smile.

“We’re just running behind today honey, thats all.” I said.

“I won’t be late for school, will I?” She asked, a little alarmed.

“No sweetheart, we have plenty of time.” I said and prayed we would have it together before it was time to leave for classes.

Jamie was still in the shower and I was starting to worry. I got everyone in their high chair and Faith in her booster seat. “Fergus, do you mind watching them for a minute, I need to check on your Father.” I asked and Fergus nodded and made a shooing motion.

I got bread started in the toaster and went to the bathroom to check on Jamie. He was standing under the shower with his eyes closed.

“Jamie, are you alright?” I asked.

“Sassenach, I am most definitely not alright.” he said, his eyes still closed.

I thought for a minute and walked in, turned the water off and put my hand to his head. My palm didn’t light. I tried the other hand, then both of them together. Nothing.

“Maybe ye canna heal acts of stupidity.” Jamie said and turned the water back on.

“Please wash and get out of here, I keep thinking how you might fall..” I asked.

“Aye Sassenach, always the healer.” He muttered and I went back to the children.

We had toast with jam, toast with peanut butter, and Ian and Ash had bread with milk to mush it up.

After everyone was finished we went to the living room to play. I put Ian and Ash in their walkers. I turned the radio program on, it was one for children and they enjoyed it.

“Fergus, just a few more minutes? I just want to go check on yer Da?” I asked and he nodded. Honestly I hated asking him to watch the children, it wasn’t his job. He chose to play with them, and often, but that was his choice and that's what I preferred.

Jamie was out of the shower and sitting on the side of the tub. He had emptied his bucket out and rinsed it but he was holding it. I got him back to the bedroom. “Jamie, please get dressed.” I said and put his clothes in his lap.

I went back to the living room. “Fergus, are you ready for school today?” I asked and I saw his face light up.

He ran to get his notebooks and showed me the notes he had taken on the first chapter of all three textbooks he had read. He explained a bit and said, “Class today is going to be so fun.”

“There isna going to be class today for us.” Jamie said as he… stumbled… into the living room and sat on the couch.

“Why are ye sick? Have Mamam heal you.” Fergus said, matter of factly.

“She already tried, I guess drinking to much is nay something she can heal.” Jamie said, then he laughed. He suddenly stood up. “The damned kids are too loud.” He said and went to the bedroom. Faith was just staring at him.

Fergus looked like someone had slapped him and I found myself wanting to slap Jamie. I heard the bedroom door shut and I looked at Fergus. “You are going to class today Fergus, I promise you that.” I said. He nodded and thanked me, then went to his room.

I thought for a while. I needed to get away from him for a little while. He may take all the time he wants with friends but I won't let him talk to the children that way. I made my plans.
I called Mr. Anderson. I called Flora, Lily and Mary. It seemed only Mary could come with us and that was fine. I packed overnight bags and got the car ready. I told Fergus my plan and he seemed happy about it. I called work and switched my workday from Thursday to Saturday and they were happy to do it. Weekends are usually times when hospitals are shorthanded.

I dropped my preschool bunch off fifteen minutes early, but since I’ve never done it before they were fine with it. I got Fergus to the university on time.

“Are you going to be alright on campus by yourself?” I asked him, feeling concerned.

“Oui Maman, I will be fine, dinna fash. I will be waiting right here for you when classes are finished.” He said and kissed my cheek. I pushed some money in his hand in case he got hungry or thirsty and let him go to class.

I went home and talked to Mary. She was going to drive to Oban and to the Anderson’s as soon as we got Ian and Ash settled. I arranged it so she could check in for us and I gave her plenty of money for gas and for the night at the Andersons. She thanked me and talked about what a fun overnight trip we would have. I got them ready and they left.
I packed bags with ice and too much food. I stood in the kitchen and wondered if I should leave a note. I did.

Jamie,
Be back tomorrow.
Claire

I looked at it and wondered if I should elaborate.

Nope.

I left.

I got my preschool bunch and headed up to the university. When we got there I found a restaurant that served ice cream and we went there. I had over an hour before Fergus would be out. We ate potatoes and ice cream and Faith ate a hamburger. They gave us crayons and coloring mats for the children and they loved that. We made a bit of a mess so I left a generous tip for the people that would have to clean up after us.

When we got to the meeting spot Fergus was waiting for us. Faith was yelling to him that we had food for him and he got in the car thanking her. He gulped down his hamburger as only a teenage boy can.

The trip to Oban was short and the traffic was light. I stopped at the front to find out what cottage I was in and I got directions.

When I pulled into the driveway Murtagh, Violet, Brian and Penny were sitting on the porch. They all greeted us but didn’t ask any questions. Mary came out to help me. She already got Ian and Ash down and we got Brianna, wee Murtagh and Faith inside. Mary put them all in a bath and told me to visit with my family.

I went outside and as soon as Murtagh hugged me I started to cry.

“I’m sorry, I don’t know why I’m crying.” I said.

Murtagh pulled back and looked at me. “Dinna fash, whit did he do lass?” He asked.

I looked at Fergus. “Your Da didn’t behave well, but it is something that if you hear, you must forgive him.” I said.

Fergus nodded. “I can do that.” He said.

So I sat down holding Murtagh’s hand and told the whole story. I even told them how he pissed himself so much.

“But I can get past that easily enough, he’s a good husband and father, this is the first time it’s happened. It was this morning. I had to have Fergus help me with the children as Jamie vomited and showered. When I got him to dress and come out he was mean to the children and told Fergus he was too sick to get him to class, Fergus loves class. He was probably still drunk. He didn’t go to work either.” I said and shrugged.

“We’re just staying the night, I wanted to give him time to sober up and not talk that way to the children.” I said and took a deep breath.

“Penny, let's go call my son.” Da said and stood up.

“No, please Da. I appreciate you wanting to help, but please, give him the night. I’m taking the night and he’s due that too.” I said.

“Yer mighty forgivin of the man who got stinkin drunk last night, left ye alone and caused ye to worry. Then he talks mean to his bairns? Awful forgivin.” Da said and looked at me suspiciously.

“Jamie has a lot on his plate, and if he wants to blow off some steam with his work mates then he should have the freedom to do it. He was just so drunk. I could hardly believe he spoke that way. It wasn’t a lot or anything, it was just very not like him.” I said, trying to explain.

“I will follow yer wishes mo nighean. But dinna let him off too easily.” Da said and I smiled and patted his hand.

After that he and Penny went back to their cabin. Fergus went in to read. It was just Murtagh, Violet and I on the porch.

“Did you know Faith remembers you from when I was carrying her, in Paris?” I asked Murtagh.

“Nay, how do ye figure that?” He asked.

She told Fergus. She told him a story you told us one night, about when you and Jamie were making your way to France the first time. That's the only time I’ve heard that story, unless you’ve told it to her since?” I asked.

“Nay, I havenna.” Murtagh said with a far off look in his eyes.

“How is that even possible?” Violet asked.

“The only thing I can think to explain it is,... she… died…” I gulped here to hold back the tears. “So soon after and she remembered.” I said.

Just then the very one we were talking about walked out to the porch in her pajamas. “Can I get a story Mama?” She asked.

“A nighean” Murtagh said.

“Aye.” Faith said.

Murtagh patted his lap and Faith jumped into it. “I have a question and I want an answer alright?” Murtagh said.

Faith nodded.

“When ye was a tiny wee thing in yer Mamma’s belly, do ye remember things?” He asked.

“Oh aye, I remember Mamma crying a lot and hiccupping a lot. I remember your songs, and some of the stories, and Fergus singing. I remember Da talking to me too. But he told me everything was going to be alright, but it wasn’t, he was wrong. I got stuck between the rocks.” She said animatedly.

“Ye ken, I was there and I ken yer Da tried very hard to make everything alright fer ye, it’s not his fault he was wrong.” Murtagh said softly.

“I ken. I just don’t like it.” Faith said.

“Why don’t ye tell me one of those stories ye remember me telling ye?” Murtagh asked.

Faith launched into the story. If I didn’t know it before I knew now that she was a Scot, through and through.

“Aye, that's a good story.” Violet said.

“It’s true too, it happened and I told it ta Claire to make her laugh when this one were in her belly and she was sad because she missed Jamie.” Murtagh said softly.

“I ken, I remember.” Faith said.

We sat in silence for a few minutes. I stood up and said, “Come on Faith, it’s time for tuck in.” I said and I went to put her to bed.

Mary was laying in a bed and waved at me. I smiled and waved back.

I went back out to the porch and sat down. A few minutes passed in silence.

“I dinna ken about that wee one.” Murtagh said.

I nodded in agreement. A few more minutes passed in silence.

“Whit time are ye leaving tomorrow Claire?” Violet asked.

“I plan to leave about 4, do you want to come over for lunch?” I asked, hoping I had brought enough food.

“How about we come over and I bring lunch?” Violet asked.

We agreed on an early lunch and I hugged them both goodnight.

I expected to toss and turn because I missed Jamie but I was fast asleep after only a few minutes. I was likely very tired.

 

The next morning I woke up with Faith, Brianna and wee Murtagh on my bed.

“We want to go to day camp Mamma, pease!” Faith said.

“Well, good morning, Okay, I think that can be arranged. Let's get some breakfast.” I said.

It was a wonderful morning because Brianna and wee Murtagh had gone to the bathroom on their own, without a reminder and I was grateful for that.

Everyone was up very shortly after us and breakfast was a loud and lively affair. Brianna had committed a grievous offense. She took a bite of Faith’s toast. Ash threw his cup because he wanted to nurse. Ian was banging his bottle on the table and laughing, I think he just wanted to be a part of the noise. Fergus picked up his plate and sat back a bit to eat.

It was loud and my little ones had big Fraser tempers. It was alright, I would wonder about my sanity but I didn’t feel upset over the yelling or uptight about the noise or nervous about 5 little ones and all 5 wanted something and they wanted it right now.

Mary put more toast in the toaster and I broke out in the sword dance I had seen Murtagh perform so many times on stage. I was stomping and they were clapping and as soon as I heard the toast pop up I did a big finish and made it extravagant. My audience was over the top with their praise and new toast was passed out by Mary. I scooped Ash up to go nurse. As soon as I turned around to walk out of the kitchen I saw Jamie standing there.

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