"...didn't you know? I thought he would've told you... sorry."
Taeyou lays an arm over Seunghee’s shoulders in a sympathetic gesture and squeezes his arm.
"He must have had his reasons.. right?" Seunghee’s heart is sinking lower with every thought. His own boyfriend, the guy that swore he loved him after everything they've been through just to be together, lied to his face.
And it's already too late to do anything.
Seunghee knew Seungho wanted to split the group again. And even though it would have been a pain to rearrange all the formations, they've done it before when they went from PMP to Kingdoms.
They did it again when Kingdoms got too big and they became their subgroup Oroute. But now, he's gonna slice their group in three, so he and seunghee will be in two different subgroups, with separated training schedules, performances and PR trips.
"I just don't get why he'd wanna do that? He could have put me in your group right? So we could still be together- doesn't he want that?"
Taeyou’s sigh is enough confirmation.
"I think you should talk to him about this. I really don't wanna be in between you two."
"Yeah that would be easier, huh."
Training has just finished and everyone is gathering their things to leave when Seunghee approaches Seungho.
"Hey can we talk for a second?"
"Sure. What's up?"
Seunghee swallows the lump that's forming in his throat and takes a deep breath.
"Is it true that you're forming a group without me?"
Seungho’s eyes widen and he stutters for a moment.
"How do you know that?"
"Taeyou told me. So you were really about to decide these things without saying anything to me??"
Disappointment rushes through him. A small part had hoped this would all be a big misunderstanding.
"I- I wanted to tell you! Just, not yet. I knew you would react like this and I just didn't want to upset you."
"Well you did! If you just told me-"
Seungho interrupts him.
"What? If I told you, it would have been fine? You would have been just as angry! It's not like it changes anything if you know now or later. And this is a chance for me. One I don't think I can have with the group we have right now. And it's not like I don't want you in the group, it's just that I don't think you, well, fit."
Seungho shrugs, like it's no big deal.
"Okay, ignoring how you just said I'm not good enough for you, but how do you think this is gonna go? With what Taeyou told me, we won't see each other for a long time, right? Or do you just expect me to follow you around while you're promoting or something?"
Seungho shakes his head but takes Seunghee’s hand none the less.
"No. I know it's gonna be tough but I think it could really be worth it. I guess I gotta move forward ok? Like, I don't wanna be stuck here for years. I want to make it big, even if it means I have to leave you here.."
Seunghee can't believe what he's hearing.
"Are you fucking kidding me? You just wanna give up on all of us for this - this project?! And you never thought of telling me sooner? Your boyfriend who you just wanna leave behind for your, what, fourth try at becoming an idol group? Weren't you happy with our group? With me?"
"I was! I just think it's time to move on from that part-"
"Move on?! You can't be serious! You want to move on from that part of what? Your life? Is that what you think of me? Just a chapter in your fucking book? I thought you loved me! How can you just say something like that!" The tears in Seunghee’s eyes are welling up more and more but he refuses to cry right now. He tears his hand away from seungho and takes a step back.
"I can't believe you're breaking my heart like this. For a fucking group."
"Seunghee that's not what-" Seungho reaches for his hand again but Seunghee flinches back.
"Then what? Tell me this is not that! Tell me you weren't planning on going away to become famous. Tell me you want to stay with me."
"I- I love you. I really do. But this is important! Don't you understand how much this means to me? And if I have to give this up to get there, I- I.."
"Don't you understand how much you mean to me? I would never leave you for fame. But ok! If that's what you want, here you go. I'm even making it easier for you! Do what you want, we're over. Are you happy?"
Now the tears finally fall over his lashes.
"No Seunghee I don't want-"
Seungho starts, desperation clear in his eyes.
"If you want to be with me, then prove it!"
Seunghee stares at Seungho, begging for him to do something, anything. But he just breaks eye contact and looks at his feet.
"Seunghee, I'm so sorry-"
Seunghee nods, still crying. This is it.
Without another word, he turns around and leaves the studio.
It's been a few days since their big fight. They have officially split the group into Becz, Antares and Unknown.
Seungho is the leader of Becz and Seunghee of Antares.
And it's not just because of that they haven't seen each other since then either..
After Seunghee left, all contact broke away between them. Taeyou told Seunghee everything that happened but it's no use. It's really over. After all their back and forth, this is the first time Seungho actually showed their breakup to everyone else. He changed his Facebook status, he deleted every picture of them on his Instagram.
When he saw that, Seunghee deleted all of his Instagram posts in a spur of the moment. The fans started asking questions.
"When will we see you two together again?"
"What happened to seungseung couple?"
They both ignored these as much as they could.
And now Becz is leaving to go to Japan for their promotions. Just like Taeyou had said.
It shouldn't bother Seunghee this much. He knew this would happen. But still, on his last evening in their pub, Seungho is pulled outside by Seunghee.
"Here" Seunghee says, "take it."
He holds out his hand with a necklace. A couple necklace a fan gave them a few months ago. They wore it nearly every day since then.
"Do- do you really not want to keep it?" Seungho asks. It means more than just giving him back a gift. When Seunghee doesn't have the necklace anymore, their last tie is finally cut.
"Yeah. I don't want to be reminded.. I- I don't want to feel like there's still hope when there isn't."
Seungho takes the necklace. It feels heavier in his hand than it is.
As he closes his fingers around it, Seunghee brushes past him and back up the steps. Seungho’s other hand goes up to the identical necklace around his neck. Now, it feels like it's suffocating him. He can feel his heart thumping heavily in his chest. It hurts.
Suddenly, he tears the necklace off of his neck and throws it across the street. He drops to his knees and sits on the floor, Seunghee’s necklace in both his hands now, pressed against his chest where his heart is hammering. He wishes he could cry but right now, there's no way. It's his own fault he lost the one he loved. Loves.
On the day of the flight, Seungho ponders if he should just give up on everything, turn back and run to Seunghee. But even if he does, what if Seunghee doesn't want him back? So he gets on the plane and lands in Japan, with his heart and thoughts still in Hongdae.
Their schedule is full to the brim with interviews, busking and fan meetings. He can't believe how fast time flies when everything goes so smoothly. But every night, when everyone else falls asleep instantly, exhausted from their busy days, Seungho lies awake, with Seunghee’s necklace in his hand and wishes he could be here with him.
It's been a month already and Seunghee hasn't texted or called even once. When Seungho tries to text him, he stares at a blank screen until he can't take it anymore. He has nothing to say. He is the one who fucked everything up. He is the one who broke Seunghee’s heart with his idiotic selfishness. Seunghee deserves something better.
"Hey, why don't you try talking to him?"
Taeyou asks Seungho while they are at a restaurant in Shinokubo.
"And what am I supposed to say? Sorry for being the worst person ever, I still love you, can't we be together again? Hah, as if that would help."
Taeyou pulls up an eyebrow.
"No, I meant like. Hi, how are you, I miss you. Something like that." He shrugs and picks at his food. "Stop ignoring each other, you know?"
"I don't think he would want to talk to me."
"Well, what did you do before you got together that made him approach you?"
Seungho thinks about it, but no matter what he did in the past, it always made things worse.
"There was this one time... I guess he gets jealous very easily. When I went to Japan with Iljun last year, he went crazy cause he thought we had something going on."
"Maybe we can make him a little bit jealous? Not so much that he thinks we're together but just enough so he texts you?"
"Hm, if we don't overdo it, it should be fine.."
Taeyou shuffles closer to Seungho.
"Okay then take out your phone and let's start taking pictures!"
"I can't believe him! We just broke up and he's flirting with Taeyou?? They even have a shipping name!"
Seunghee lies on Wooram’s bed with his best friend sitting in front of him, Seunghee’s phone with the Instagram story in front of his face.
"Doesn't he remember what happened last time he tried to make you jealous?" Wooram mumbles.
"I don't know! I've been thinking of texting him for the past month cause I miss him and he just goes on to the next best person.."
"Can't you talk to Taeyou about that? I bet it's just a misunderstanding."
"Well I don't care. It's his decision. Whatever."
"No! I'm done! Come on, let's go out!"
Seunghee jumps up from the bed and starts towards the bathroom to get ready.
"Geez, you two never change huh?" Wooram says into the room, but he's already too far to hear it.
It’s been two weeks after Seungho and Taeyou have started posting 'shippable' content nearly every day.
"I really don't think it's working. He hasn't reacted to anything and he hasn't even texted me lately." Taeyou tells Seungho while they are getting ready for another fan meeting.
"Yeah I guess you're right." Seungho sighs.
"Let's just keep it up for a few days while we're promoting. The fans love it. And then, when we get back to seoul, we can drop it."
Seungho nods. Acting like this with Taeyou is fun. He just wishes he could do these things with Seunghee again.
"You think we're gonna see them when they come to Japan next week?" Seungho asks, maybe a bit too hopeful.
"Maybe." It's not much but it's not a no either.
"Do we really have to go out and eat with the others?" Seunghee whines while putting on his makeup.
"Yes, we do. It's been way too long since we ate in Japan! Come on it's gonna be fun!" Wooram says while going through his suitcase in search of an outfit.
"Okay but only if you buy me a dessert!" Seunghee grins.
"Okay but you better stop complaining about that idiot ex of yours."
Seunghee’s smile fades but he nods anyway.
"You're right. I should really stop thinking about him."
After their meal, Becz heads to a pub near their hotel to celebrate their final 'work' day in Japan. The next few days before going back to Seoul will be relaxing.
Seungho and Taeyou are walking behind the others as they go up to their table.
"What are you doing here! Long time no see!"
They hear the others before they can see them. There they are, the rest of their former group, sitting at a large table, drinks in their hands.
Seungho’s breath is knocked out of him when he sees Seunghee, who is already looking back at him. He is just as beautiful as he was before they left. Seunghee seems just as enthralled as him, not breaking eye contact until the others shuffle around so Becz can take seats at the same table.
They quickly fall into conversations about their promotions and what not, but Seunghee and Seungho remain silent.
It's not until Seungho had his third drink that he announces he has to go outside to smoke and Taeyou joins him.
Sitting on a bench outside, he finally starts talking again.
"Oh my god. I can't believe he's here. What am I supposed to do? Should I talk to him? I just want to take him into my arms and kiss the air out of his lungs.." Seungho whine and lays his head on Taeyou’s shoulder.
In that moment, Seunghee comes storming out if the door. He looks around until he sees the two and immediately pulls Seungho up so he's standing in front of him.
"You know what happened the last time! Why do you keep trying to hurt me?!" He hisses at him.
Seungho just stares at him, perplexed, until he finds his voice again.
"I- I didn't- it's not what you think, really!"
"Oh yeah and what is it then? You think you can just take whoever is willing until you get me back?"
"Okay this is ridiculous" Taeyou steps in, "there is nothing going on between Seungho and me. You know I'm straight. And even if I wasn't I would never do that to you. The truth is, he wanted to make you jealous, but we noticed it wasn't working. So we were literally about to stop doing that fanservice shit once the promotions were over."
Taeyou laid his hand on Seunghee’s shoulder and nodded, "Talk to him, please. He missed you."
Taeyou goes back inside, leaving the two alone.
"Is it true? Did you really miss me." Seunghee asks timidly.
"Of course! I nearly didn't get on the flight. And I kept your necklace after I kinda threw mine away. I never stopped thinking about you, Seunghee."
"I never stopped either.." Seunghee says as he digs something out of his pocket.
"And- and I found the necklace outside of our pub that evening. I wasn't sure whether it was yours or mine so- I just kept it."
"So we both never gave up completely, huh?"
"No. I could never."
Seunghee lays the necklace in Seungho’s hands and holds them together.
"Seungho, I still love you. But I have one condition if we are gonna get back together."
"Ok" Seungho nods, "anything you want."
"If you ever lie to me again or plan on doing something that involves us without telling me, I'm never forgiving you."
"I swear I will never ever do something like that again. I love you."
Seungho closes the gap between them and kisses Seunghee with all the feelings of the past
"I missed you so much."
"Here, let me put your necklace on again."
Seungho turns around so Seunghee can close the clasp at his neck.
Then he pulls out Seunghee’s necklace.
"You really took it here with you?" Seunghee chuckles.
"Hey you did, too! Now, turn around." Seungho is laughing, too.
When they walk inside together, hand in hand, their whole table whistles for them.
"I knew it would work!" Taeyou exclaims and gives Wooram a fistbump.
"Yeah it did. But if you two fight one more time I'm gonna throw myself or either of you off a bridge!" Wooram threatens jokingly.
"Oh I will do that for you, don't worry." Seunghee laughs and snuggles into Seungho's side.
"Let's do our best that never happens." Seungho whispers, so only Seunghee can hear it.
"Yeah, let's be a boring happy couple from now on."