Chapter Text
“New Beginnings are often disguised as painful endings.”
― Lao Tzu
Sirius was dead. It happened just two days ago at the battle inside the Ministry of Magic. Holly Potter never felt so angered by her own stupidity and couldn't put away the feeling that her godfather's death was entirely her fault —in the heat of the moment, shealways acted before thinking, like a moron. But now was too late to fix that mistake; from now on, she will have to think twice before doing anything too risky. She also felt miserable after it dawned on her that she had put the lives of her friends in danger as well. The outcome of the battle could have been so much worse if they were dead too.
The small witch was brooding inside the Room of Hidden Things, laying down on an old couch, surrounded by lots of curious and mysterious artifacts — most of them junk or undesirable trinkets.
All she did these last days was mourn, curse herself for her rashness, and weep a lot. She cried her heart out to the point where her body wasn't capable of letting her cry anymore; her tears dried, leaving her with a puffy red face and an intense headache. Her chest tightened in pain, as if she were stabbed by a knife that still lingered inside her. It was too painful. Sirius was her world and the closest person she had as a family, at least in the way that the meaning of family truly mattered —Aunt Petunia could be a blood relative, but Holly was only a burden to her.
Voldemort's presence had cursed her life since she was a baby — he killed her parents, so she was raised by her mother's sister and her husband. The Dursleys were muggles who hated wizards, witches, and everyone different. Since she was a baby, Holly felt in her own skin the discontentment of the Dursleys for her being a witch, although she had no idea about it until she turned eleven and met Hagrid, who gave her Hogwarts letter and explained what she really was, just like her parents. Holly had been mistreated her entire childhood, growing up in a home without love where her relatives treated her like a freak.
Well, even among wizards and witches, Holly was considered a freak sometimes, being the only known survivor of the killing curse and a parselmouth.
'Thanks again, Voldemort!'
According to Dumbledore, Hollywas only able to understand and talk to snakes because Voldemort somehow transferred some of his powers to herwhen he tried to kill her. Probably the Headmaster was right, but who knows for sure? Truth be told, Holly wasn’t sure anymore how much she could trust Dumbledore, especially after everything that happened in the fifth year.
Her years at Hogwarts were always difficult, and her life was threatened so many times that she lost count. But the real hell beganin her fourth year, aftermost of her House 'friends' and the rest of the school turned their backs on her after her name was sorted on the Goblet of Fire. Holly was forced to compete in a magical contest, and at the last task, Wormtail, a faithful servant of Voldemort, killed her boyfriend, Cedric Diggory, who she started dating just after the first task. And of course, Voldemort was back again to torment her life, this time with a real body!
The fourth year and Cedric’s death were so painful that she didn't expect the fifth year to be ten times worse. She was nearly expelled from Hogwarts and mistreated by almost the entire school again, being considered a delusional liarfor affirmingthat Voldemort had returned. She had painful migraines on her scar, was tortured and scarred by Dolores Umbridge with her freaking Blood Quill and was completely ignored by Dumbledore. Holly never felt so alone in her entire life— and that meant a lot, considering she grew up inside a fucking cupboard!
And now, to 'ice the cake', her dear godfather Sirius was dead. She felt so hopeless, with a hollow inside her chest instead of a heart. Who else would she lose in the futurebattling against Voldemort and his followers? Would it be possible for her to be truly happy someday, or would she always have to face losses or be forced to make sacrifices to help ungrateful people?
Sirius Black was her only hope of finally beingfree from the Dursleys, as soon as they could prove his innocence. These last two days of the term, she used to grieveher loss and reflect onall the things that had happened to her until now.She was tired of suffering and feeling lonely; it seemed whenever she was truly happyand with a good prospect for the future, her life suffered a twist, as if she was supposed to be miserable forever, the best moments never lasting.
Holly thought about Voldemort, the root of her misery, and it didn’t take long for her mind to drift into the memories of her second year at Hogwarts and the flawless image of Tom Marvolo Riddle, the teenager’s version of the Dark Lord.Model student, tall and handsome, Prefect of Slytherin, and future Head Boy. So young he was the responsible forthe death of Myrtle Warren, but was able to blame Hagrid instead, using him as a scapegoat.
Tom Riddle was a wolf in sheep's clothing and, unfortunately, Holly's first crush. Of course, the first time she saw him in the memories of the Diary, she had no idea who he actually was; she was only twelve years old and very naive.
The witch began to question if Tom Riddle was always a true devil or if he could have been saved from the darkness that tainted his soul. According to Dumbledore in her first year, Voldemort never experienced love in his life or understood it becausehe never had friends or family. Was Dumbledore so certain of it or just being presumptuous?
Hollyrecalled the facts she discovered about Voldemort in the Diary memories. Tom Riddle was a half-blood orphan just like her, raised in a muggle orphanage. He asked the Headmaster at that time if he could stay in Hogwarts during the summer, just like she asked the same thing to Dumbledore in her first year. She had the feeling thatTom didn't like the place where he lived, just like she didn’t like the Dursleys’ home. It could be because of the world war, but her mind wandered about the possibility of his childhood being similar to hers: mistreated by adults and other children, treated like a freak, maybe also feeling hungry, scared, and lonely. The Dursleys always found excuses to let her starve or skip meals. That was why Holly was tinier than other children her age and didn't grow up so much, even after eating all the food she could in Hogwarts. Ron constantly mocked the fact that she could pass as a third-year or a taller second-year, but he was oblivious tothe cruel truth behind her short height.
Unlike Holly Potter, Tom Riddle was very tall, so he probably didn't have the same problem with food and meals as she did.
Besides the height difference, she remembered the Diary pointing out that Holly and Tom shared some similarities and coincidences between them— half-bloods,orphans,raised by muggles,both dark-hairedwith pale skin, Parselmouths...
And Diary Tom had no ideathat Holly was almost sorted out in Slytherin orthat their wands were twins. Oh, and a crazy prophecy entangling their fates together.
Holly knew Tom was poor, and considering he had his father's muggle name and surname, he most certainly had been called 'mudblood' in Slytherin. If he indeed had no friends, he probably suffered hell in his first years, counting only on himself and his wits. He needed to be really sturdy to not be chewed and spat away in a House that valued blood purity, status, wealth, influence, and power. That's probably why he was so obsessed with the latter.
Tom Riddle was responsible forlots of evil deeds;however, Holly could relate even with the scarce information she possessed about him. She feltpretty similar toRiddle until her eleventh birthday—without friends, without love, and consumed by bad feelings like sadness and anger. If she didn’t meet Ron, Hermione, or Hagrid, how would her first year at Hogwarts have been? Of course, she still had money, fame, and status; after all, she was 'the girl-who-lived', the heroineof the wizarding world. But what if she was like him in every aspect? Would she become corrupted as the years passed by?
She remembered Hermione crying alone in the bathroom in their first year. Until today, Hermione was only close friends with her and Ron, and lots of people still consider her an annoying know-it-all. If Hermione didn't have Holly and Ron to watch her back, would she have cried inside bathrooms until her fifth year as Myrtle did?
Ron was a pureblood who had a loving family consisting of both parents alive andsix siblings. He was also very good at making friends and talking to other boys —except Slytherins. He hadhis own insecurities about being poor, although people in Gryffindor never turned their backs on him like they did with Holly or Hermione.
Both Hermione and Ron grew up being loved by their families. Holly would easily give up all her money and status just to have the same as them. What about Tom Riddle,who had neither? Even with her friends, Holly felt so lonely and misunderstood sometimes...
Holly knew well how it felt to be unwanted and undesired, living most of her life with the Dursleys, and she also knew well how people could be flickery and untrustworthy.In her first year, lots of people wanted to be friends with "the girl-who-lived". In her second year, after they discovered she was a parselmouth, that was the first time people she considered friends avoided her and whispered bad things behind her back. Even Ron and Hermione appeared wary becauseshe could speak with snakes. It was when Holly discovered she was a freak, not just among muggles but also among wizards and witches.
There was lots of unfounded prejudice towards parselmouths, Holly learned that the worst way. Tom was a freak like her, capable of talking to snakes and understanding them. She wondered if he kept that a secret until he grew older or if he always liked to scare people. If he was considered popular and charming in his younger days, the answer was very clear to her.
The second time that people turned their backs on her was at the Triwizard Tournament. The last time was this past year, as people gossiped that Holly was delusional and a liar. And now Sirius was dead. Was it really worth risking her life and her friends’, to fight Voldemort to save a world full of people whoonce considered her a heroine and then started to despise her for no good reason a second later?
She thought about Ron, Hermione, the Weasleys, Hagrid, and Lupin. If she didn't have their love and friendship, would she be corrupted and evil like Tom Riddle as well? Wanting revengeoneveryone who’d hurt her?
Holly Potter discovered that she had a dark side in her as well after what she did to Bellatrix Lestrange, the witch who killed her godfather.
After Sirius' murder, Holly ran after Bellatrix Lestrange throughcountless corridors and rooms inside the Ministry until she cornered the Death Eater. Holly used the Cruciatus spell, an Unforgivable curse, with all her will. She felt a lot of pleasure seeing that bitch squirming and trembling on the ground, screaming and begging her to stop. Death wouldn't be enough for Bellatrix after what she did to her precious godfather! She wanted to watchBellatrix lose her mind the same way she did with Neville's parents.
Voldemort was the one who caught her in the act. He saved his faithful Death Eater after appreciating for a few seconds the grave sin committed by Holly Potter. She couldn't forget the predatory grin plastered on his snake-face.
Holly couldn't stop ruminating that she wasn't so different from Voldemort now, as sheonly stopped torturing Bellatrix because she was interrupted. It was rubbed in her facethat she was perfectly capable of doing evil acts as well as enjoying them. She also had no regrets besides not having more time alone with her godfather's murderer.
Holly askedherself if her soul was condemned forever. She still saw herself as a good person, always trying to do what was right. This particular case was the only exception to that. Since she was just a small kid, Holly had a lot to carry on her shoulders and suffered a lot in her life;however, she always ended up doing the right thing, even when part of her wanted to do the opposite.
This time she snapped and let her hot temper take the reins, punishing Bellatrix for taking away someone so precious to her.
Voldemort ruined her life and the lives of lots of people, but who was Holly to judge him now? What if the burdens of his life led him down a dark path and he had no one to take his hand to show him another way or at least give him company or support in difficult times? She couldn't judge him if one day he just had enoughand did something bad the same way Holly didwhen no one was there to stop her.
Holly was almost sixteen years old. Would the fifteen-year-old Tom Riddle, the one who never opened the Chamber, causing Myrtle Warren's death, be so beyond repair? Would he become a Dark Wizard if he had experienced some goodness in his life or at least had support or a company that could make him feel safe, like a true friend? What if he had someone who opposed the darkness in his soul and his bad actions but could also give some comfort to his heart?
Hypothetically, if Holly could intercede, would she be capable of saving him or at least preventing him from committing his first crime? Obviously, she can't control the feelings or actions of people, but would she be able to guide him on a better path or at least stop him?
She never thought that Voldemort was a good guy; after all, he brought pain and misery for years on the path that he walked. Because of him and his Death Eaters, lots of lives were lost, including the ones of her parents, Cedric and Sirius.
Would Tom Riddle follow the same path if he had a glimpse of light or goodness in his life? She snorted, thinking about the possibility of being close friends with him if they were in the same year. She could also be in Slytherin, just like the Sorting Hat advised her on her first day at Hogwarts. Did Tom like Quidditch? She let out a laughat that thought.
Holly Potter and Tom Riddle, best friends forever!
Well, if he were truly evil, she could still intercede bypreventing him from opening the Chamber of Secrets and killing Myrtle Warren in the process. Hagrid wouldn't be expelled either, at least not for this. He was raising an Acromantula in secrecy, for fuck's sake!
To keep up with Tom Riddle, Holly would need to learn much more and be stronger. If they were the same age, would it be possible for her to stop the rise of Voldemort or at least oppose him directly? Voldemortwas as strong as Dumbledore, but Holly survived all encounters with himwhen their paths crossed, being only a baby the first time that happened and eleven on the second. In her view, the task of saving the world from Babymort was so much easier than opposing an older, wiser, and more experienced Dark Wizard. If she confrontedVoldemort himself and remained alive,facing a student with the same age gap as sheseemed doable in her opinion.
Holly thought about a world without Voldemort. Lots of lives would be spared. Holly would have grown up in a house where she would be loved by her parents and would live happily with them, being visited frequently by Sirius and Remus. A world where she would maybe still be with Cedric, or if they didn't work out, she could find another boy or even stay single. Without the fame of defeating a Dark Wizard, Holly would probably be just another witch living a normal life where she wouldn't be noticed by so many people.
Alastor Moody would still have his eye, nose, and leg, and Neville would be raised by his parents. Voldemort had tormented the world for years, what else would change without his influence?
If she could go back in time and meet Tom Marvolo Riddle, would they be friends or enemies? It was a difficult decision to make, especially for her, to extend the olive branch to the past version of the man who only brought pain and misery to her life.
Her mind wandered tohypothetical scenarios when a noise caught her attention.
A strange structure materialized a few meters away from Holly. At first glance, she thought it was a mirror, on second glance, she thought it could be a portal.
Thanks for reading! :3