Flo knows that one of the reasons she’s been Progressive’s top saleswoman for the past five years running is she’s a people person! And she has a great smile, and while it might be better used selling cars it also works very well when you sell insurance every day.
It was an ordinary day of rate adjustments and low, low prices when she suddenly heard a soft neigh echoing up from the doorway. There sat the most finely-sculpted man she’s seen in her six years of policy-slinging.
“Well, hi there!” she grinned. “Aren’t you a frisky fella? Looking to buy some insurance for your horsey friend, or are you the new Trojan guy?” she asks, her tone still friendly.
“I’m looking for someone,” he said quite agreeably, “but nothing for my stallion.” He reached out a hand. “It’s you, Flo. Come away with me to my magnificent bathroom of manly cleanliness, where I will fulfill your every desire – and you’ll fulfill several of mine.”
“Aww, gee, I’d like to come,” she said, “but I’m in the middle of my shift, and with these inflation adjustments I couldn’t possibly get away.”
He gestured with his free hand. “The sales receipt is now diamonds!”
Flo took a look down. “Holy cats,” she said, as the loop of tape she’d held had indeed changed into a strand of diamonds.
“Now, Flo, come with me to my boat, where I will feed you grapes
“Well…” she fanned herself as he bent and took her free hand in both of his. “…If it doesn’t interfere with my duties at Progressive.”
“Take the day off,” her supervisor said, without looking up. “Go get laid for once.”
“Then will you come with me?”
Flo smiled. “I will, you delicious-smelling, elegant man!” With that, he swept her up on his horse and they rode away.
Which was how Flo found herself in the middle of the southern Caribbean lying on the deck of a boat on a chase lounge, being massaged by the manliest man in the world while he fed her grapes and crooned that her headbands made him shiver lustfully. The sun beat down, his horse whickered, and the world was a spicy-scented fantasy.
“Miss Flo,” he said, “I think it’s time that we…expanded our merger.” He licked her earlobe before climbing onto the chase lounge and kissing his way down her body.
“Well…geee…you don’t…I mean…wow…” His lips were still going southward. In fact they were going right between her legs…
He nibbled her clit like it was a plump grape.
And Flo decided she could definitely get used to her ladyparts smelling like the man some other woman’s man should smell like.