"who the futabruh are you"
"i'm ryuji and i might need your help to prank a pretty bad asshole"
"how the futabruh did you find me anyway"
"i saw you pullin' antics on that ego boosted retard on that idk, gamin' server? and bam, i appreciate your antic skills"
"perhaps… but that doesn't mean i would do antics on every retard i would meet or not, you know; i only troll people with enough lulz"
"he's harassin' girls with blue eyes, would that be enough lulz for you?"
"well, he must be a hakushin hitler lover… perhaps he's like hitler himself… well, pls come to my bunker guild, nope, server to discuss in details, and we'll find out what kinda lulz we can get"
Just like his online persona who likes to mention "bunker" unintentionally or not, [insert_protag_name_here] Fegelein basically lives in a certain bunker below a certain place in Berlin. Or you might ask, "Isn't the Führerbunker razed to the ground when Hitler's days were over? "
Well, it's not actually simple like that; just like [insert_protag_name_here], his ancestor, Hermann Fegelein, did a lotta help to the Soviets when he pulled antics on Hitler, for unknown reasons, perhaps due to he found out Hitler is a man with a fountain of lulz, disrupted Hitler's military plans and made sure Hitler failed after bein' failed and rants like a YTPMV celebrity.
As a reward for his war efforts, the Soviets rewarded him and his families a chance to wipe their sorry arse outta the history, fakin' their deaths and granted them eternal residence at the
Führerbunker which was supposed to be razed in public's memories; later East Germany and then United Germany continued to support the bunker with necessary electricity and waters, they even got a 10Gb Internet access into it so [insert_protag_name_here] can pull his antics as he sees fit. Of course Hermann's antics victim "Führer" is no longer present, and his bones were a part of Russian collections for maximum harassments for him and his lovers, and Führerbunker has already been renamed into Fegelbunker anyway; but when heard about a potential Hitler lover or imitator or such kinda people, [insert_protag_name_here] can't wait to pull antics on him, just like his ancestors. That's probably why he accepted this job that quick, that he invited Ryuji into his private "Bunker" guild in an instant.
"well, welcome to the futabruhin' bunker; now could you describe who the futabruh is the guy you're talkin' about, any names? is he an online celebrity, or worse, an irl one?"
"i only know he has a surname of kamoshida or such"
"kamoshida? futaba chan, open info for kamoshida, douzo"
"Right… we found several Kamoshidas, one of them is an Olympic medalist in volleyball in a certain Olympic Game, currently a PE volleyball teacher in a private high school in Tainan City. "
Futaba Fegelein is [insert_protag_name_here]'s trusted intelligence analyst and his adopted sister. Albeit she has literally no Fegelein bloodline, her skills on antics is just as good as other Fegelein family members, if not better; besides, without her hacking and intelligence processing skills, [insert_protag_name_here] would be completely blinded against his enemies. Few was known about Futaba's past and how she became a Fegelein, some says she's abandoned by her relatives and happened to be adapted by [insert_protag_name_here]'s father in his short visit to Japan, other sources indicate she's actually an artificial girl created by one of the Japanese mad scientists. But [insert_protag_name_here] seems not to care about any of these; ever since both of his parents suddenly disappeared in his early life almost as if it's a family tradition, either died of failed antics in a Middle Eastern nation in civil wars, or decided to be "defegeleinized" to live as another identity, something [insert_protag_name_here] can't understand how or why it could ever happen. What [insert_protag_name_here] really cares, is that Futaba is the only family member he can rely on. He even find cuteness in his adopted sister, it's not like she's pretty or something; she's just a normal long haired otaku style girl with glasses and normal eyes, but glasses only is enough for [insert_protag_name_here] to consider someone to be cute, since as he saw it, glasses is a sign of intelligence and "smart is the new sexy", and that happens to be the exact description of Futaba.
"well, a former olympic champion turned high school pe teacher? i had a pretty bad feelin' about this… " [insert_protag_name_here]'s analytic mind activates, "if he really got an olympic medal, his ego won't satisfy himself to be just a pe teacher, he might do some evil and most likely lulzful things to compensate his ego… so he might be a perfect target to troll"
"pls tell me more of his victims, well, the blue eyed girl he's currently harassin', so we can make a parody outta him to piss his sorry arse off"
"she's… actually my girlfriend"
"get your sorry arse girlfriend into the bunker, if we need to pull this crap we need every piece of info we can get"
1.2 kamoganger chat central
Ann Takamaki is a quarter American and 3/4 Japanese high school girl and currently a US citizen, but strangely when she was still in Japan, she's Ryuji Sakamoto's childhood friend, just luckily for her, her family link made her gain US citizenship, or we say, the ship ticket to the Roma Tertia, and get the futabruh outta the hellhole called Japan as soon as she reached high school, but Ryuji is not that lucky to happen to have an American relative; his best hope to get the futabruh outta Japan is to marry Ann and move his sorry arse into the US.
But now a potential threat to their relationship suddenly surfaces, when Ryuji found out his beloved girlfriend often did sexy videocams with only panties and bras on in her American home; in another rare occasion Ann was not at home and he found this celebrity kinda Kamoshida on the other side. That's probably how he ended up seekin' for [insert_protag_name_here]'s help.
"alright ann chan, well, did you oppose bein' called a chan? "
"that's good bc last time an online celebrity kinda person yelled at me like 'Don't fucking call me Lea Chan', and she ended up gettin' her tumblr full of her fat saggy boobs selfies discovered and becomin' another recurrin' big arse joke, alongside her degenerated acts to capitalize chan's c"
"but don't worry, ann chan, you didn't look like an celebrity, so you will not be harmed by my antics, and not just that, i can promise whatever you say in the bunker will stay in the bunker, no leaks"
"so feel free to vent about this kamoshida person, did he threaten you or your boyfriend in any ways?"
"No, it's not me or Ryuji, but Kamoshida threatened to take my friend Shiho's virginity and cum inside her, with his own words, if I didn't do as he says"
"who the futabruh is this shiho? info, douzo"
"You mean Shiho Suzui? It's the only matching result in student databases of all Shujin Academy campuses"
"wow i did nazi you have so many school's private student databases, futaba chan, i'm pretty impressed"
"and this shujin crap, isn't that a futabruhin' japanese school? why the futabruh did it have a campus in tainan of roc? like seriously? i thought japanese colonization of taiwan was already over with nazi germany"
Well, seriously, the Japanese colonization of Taiwan is only hakushin over. Yes, Japanese army was gettin' the futabruh outta Taiwan's arse, but a bunch of their people, well, lotta them, still remained on the island today. That's why the successful Japanese high school corporation, Shujin Academy Group, decided to open up a campus in Tainan to serve these people's needs, and somehow hired former Olympic volleyball champion Suguru Kamoshida to be their PE teacher of volleyball.
"Shiho joined Kamoshida's volleyball club, and she told me of being harshly trained by him frequently. And the rumors of him sexually assaulting female students exists, I'm afraid Shiho would one way or another fall into his hand… "
"hmmm, you know what, such shitty arse teacher would gettin' his sorry arse futabruhed in a federal prison for havin' sex with underaged girls, accordin' to american laws"
"but that's not america, it's effin' taiwan, they didn't effin' care about such 'insignificant things', as long as kamoshida leads their children to victory, they didn't effin' mind him rapin' a few kids or what"
"they will call it 'necessary sacrifices'"
"what about the local authorities?"
"Taiwan, or ROC as we speak, they have an age of consent of 16, it's not basically a crime for Kamoshida to coercion high school girls for sex, since they all fall into 16 to 17. Besides when I'm looking for police records, there is one complaint of him but it was dropped instantly, that suggests corruptions inside their police department. Relying on police justice is not advised. "
"wow, he's sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo futabruhin' h a r d c o r e, i like it; i guess it's about time to escalate the situation to mass antics" (Mass Destruction reference here ((hakushin
"we will try to do Kamoshidagangin'"
"Wait… -gangin' again? "
"What is -gangin' anyway? "
[insert_protag_name_here] answers everyone's doubts,
"well, my ancestor is hermann fegelein, he pulled antics on hitler to make sure he reached his own downfall, well, in german we call it 'Untergang'"
"besides there is a 2003 film of hitler's last days rantin', just like how you see in a lotta hitler parodies, called Der Untergang"
"so we fegeleins call ourselves 'Untergangers', and hermann is definitely the very first generation of untergangers"
"and in this way pullin' antics on other people was called -gangin', and antic makers would be called -gangers"
"so it's about time to create Kamoshidaganger Chat Central, to attract more people into kamoshidagangin', so he will be drown in the sea of people's wars"
"we used it several times and it always works"
"what kinda gay ass name is 'Kamoshidaganger'? don't you think it's too effin' long, [insert_protag_name_here] senpai? "
"then what about 'kamoganger'? now it sounds much better, recht? "
"right, that's the effin' style"
"alright, then we will create Kamoganger Chat Central chatroom, and initiate parody video makin' right away; did he leave any parody material, futaba chan? "
"Yes, and actually, a lot"
1.3 kamoshida's memories
"ooooOOOOOOOO. " Sometimes after his victories from (virgin) pussy to (another virgin) pussy, Suguru Kamoshida can't help to remember some of his terrible early days' memories.
He's not purely Japanese though; one of his grandparents was a rape victim in Japanese invasion in Taiwan island, and another one of his grandparents is a futabruhin' rapist. But he somehow had a little blood of Japanese, even more little than Ann chan's American bloodline, that helped him to study PE in Japan with a discounted tutor fee. But after he graduated from there, Japan's economy was futabruhed by its American daddy, and he instantly lost his actually nonexistent in the first place jobs.
And somehow a mysterious man gave him a new way of life, as long as he signed a deal with the devils, he will get literally anything he would ever dreamed of: money, medals, honors, and even (underaged virgin) women. He did that and signed the deal, it gave him Übermensch ability to win any human sports, from volleyball to hakushin close-quarter combat. No one has ever stood in his way of winnin' either Olympic medals, or girls, since their angry boyfriends would end up bein' failed in hakushin close-quarter combat epically.
And Kamoshida deeply knows that, sometimes he intentionally used that to piss off high school girl's boyfriends, so he could find excuses to make them end up in wheelchairs in hakushin close-quarter combat. Well, now he's pickin' up a new target to harass, a weak boy called Mishima. But the moment he saw Mishima, he suddenly lost interest in provokin' him anyway, "This weakling is waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay weaker than Ryuji that I recently rekt, I guess even I fucked both Shiho and Ann's virgin pussies at the same time, he won't do a damned thing. It's such a kill-joy that would deeply bore me. '
And Ann Takamaki is definitely his new Mount Everest after Olympic medals or unlimited supply of virgin pussies; as he sees it, the evil Western world sent its men to fuck whatever Asian pussies as they see fit, so if he can use whatever method he have to cum inside virgin pussy of a white girl with blue eyes, better if someone could do the job to record his performance arts with a 4K camcorder, he would declare himself a huge arse victory against Western cultural invasions to Asian worlds. Of course and piss off Westerners too, because in Taiwan fuckin' high school girls are completely legal.
"No, it's not even personal, or that's not actually what I would think. It's a revolution. A fuckin' revolution. "
Kamoshida happily came outta his office, plannin' to pick more girls from his volleyball club to harass tonight.
"The core element of Kamogangin' is to make him a real celebrity, the more his parody videos were viewed, the more funds we can collect from Ad revenue from YouTube, and the more people will join us to Kamogang, then the more people would actively seek for more of his parody materials; at that time, whatever he would deal with it would be ultimately deconstructed into another one of his parody materials, and this vicious cycle would commerce without problem until his real untergang. He will have literally no way to oppose to our antics. "
That's the pinned message in Kamoganger Chat Central chatroom.
And "yes he can try to break, but his english is sooooOOOOOOOO poor that he can't even file a proper DMCA complaint" Everyone loled.
In order to spread Kamoshida memes as fast as possible, Kamogangers team did whatever they can: they made Kamoshida parodies in almost every one of current hot topics; they made a matrix of YouTube videos in different channels to make their weights in YouTube search engines skyrocket; they hired jobless people to mass spam Kamoshida memes in comment sections of every Kamoshida related video, like one of his interviews when he got his Olympic medals, which's already become a Kamoshida parody material.
Futaba even developed a semi-auto Kamoshida Parody Music Video generator to turn any music into Kamoshida singin' in utter funny style, and add random visual effects if needed, all the user needed to do is to fill the lyrics as one sees fit. Suddenly almost all the music of recent 5 years could find its Kamoshida version one way or another.
As in Kamoganger Chat Central, they held Kamoganger Community Awards every day, only videos with more than 100K views could enter the contest, and winner will get one month of Discord Nitro. Yes [insert_protag_name_here] and his sister didn't have much money for more expensive gifts, inb4 they can only earn the small amount of money by recivin' commissions; but this time they invested their money out, and it got a huge success: within only one month, Kamoshida has already become the epicenter of YTPMVs, and Kamoganger Chat Central chatroom has reached over 1000 members. New memes were generated in there almost hourly, and Kamoshida would be pissed off to untergang if he knew this crap. Of course, it would only be a matter of time before these marketin' accounts repost YouTube videos into Taiwan's local video websites to let Kamoshida know right on his pedosexual arse.
1.4 kamogangin', escalated (again
It's not that long before Kamogangers were outta new Kamoshida parody materials, like almost all of materials was overused nein thousand times. They seek to dig new parody materials; Futaba hacked surveillance cams in Kamoshida's offices, and [insert_protag_name_here] planned to crowdfund money to buy a spycam so he can install it inside Kamoshida's home.
Of course as big Kamogangers as [insert_protag_name_here] and Futaba, they don't need anyone's money anymore to even hire hitman to shoot Kamoshida anyway; but as in [insert_protag_name_here]'s explanations, "crowdfundin' is a great way to increase member's sense of participation, even if they only give $1 out, they will be more eager to use our 24-hour Kamoshida Live service kamoshittyarse.live than when they didn't contribute any money". It turned out that such tactics was a great success, more and more people were watchin' and recordin' kamoshittyarse.live so new Kamoshida parody materials would be added every futabruhin' hour. Members in Kamoganger Chat Central has already reached 5000, and it even becomes a Boost Level 3 guild where every futabruhin' one can post 100MB of Kamoshida parody videos without bother to register a YouTube account.
Someday Kamoshida suddenly saw parodies of him from a local video hostin' website, and he rants like Adolf Hitler in Der Untergang for approximately 5 minutes, and this part of his unfortunate life definitely got recorded by hidden cameras in his home and thus in kamoshittyarse.live, and hours later got billions of views on YouTube with the form of well, parody of a certain PSY song (Oppa Kamoshida Style? ). An enraged Kamoshida wanted to DMCA all his parody videos, too bad English is not something he could learn at a Japanese PE school or high school girl's virgin pussies, and YouTube staff just ignore his requests in lols.
Of course as a literal 24-hour live service, kamoshittyarse.live did not only record Kamolulz, it attracted some other bunch of people other than Kamogangers. We all know Kamoshida loves to rape high school girls at his home, and unfortunately they're on kamoshittyarse.live too; Then a bunch of real pedophiles found this place and stayed all night on it, some trolls recorded that part of scenes and uploaded them into Pornhub. FBI as usual performed their duties to arrest whoever made and acted (hakushin) these videos, and not long before they found that the actor is in somewhere pretty outta United States judicial system's reach. So they have to arrest some of the viewers instead, even though some of the viewers are not in US either.
And after Kamoshida's Hiter style rant video went viral, major Kamogangers thought it's time to come to Tainan to perform the real Kamoganger operation. [insert_protag_name_here] made a $10,000 fundrisin' operation on GoFundMe for funds of the operations, includin' plane tickets from Berlin or Los Angeles to Tainan, multiplied by 2. Since Ryuji and Ann was happened in a vacation camp in Los Angeles, they accepted [insert_protag_name_here]'s invitation and came to Tainan too.
The fundrisin' finished and actually exceeded $20,000 in less than one week.
There're multiple considerations for [insert_protag_name_here] to invite Ryuji and Ann too:
- they need to come to witness the history, and perhaps beat Kamoshida in their own hands too;
- Tainan seems to be a tourist destination too, but it's not sure if they have time for vacations in their schedules, and Ryuji and Ann happen to finish their Los Angeles trips, it's about time for them to "go to another tourist destinations (hakushin";
- As Kamoshida's ultimate goal, Ann chan might have strategical values in [insert_protag_name_here]'s currently unknown operations;
- in case things go pretty bad, [insert_protag_name_here] needs extra hands to handle everythin', from confrontations to well, in [insert_protag_name_here]'s own words, "just beat him to death already".
"EMERGENCY: Change of plans, I failed to conduct direct flight from Berlin to Tainan, so the flight destination was set to Manila, all core Kamoganger members after arrivin' shall find a local fisherman to set the course to a later disclosed destination in the international waters, our unmanned warship Kriegsmarine Antica would be waitin' there, we will use the Antica to approach Tainan. The other benefit of it is to leave zero traces in perhaps corrupt and Kamoshida-friendly local authorities. "
That's another pinned message in the core member channel of Kamoganger Chat Central chatroom.
"What about me, bro? Really didn't want me in? " Futaba also wanna go on this "trip" with [insert_protag_name_here], but he seems to have other plans for her.
"Nope, at least not this time, Futaba chan. Kamoshida is a beast in human's skins, I shall not let you exposed in such dangers. Besides, if you also leave the bunker, who the futabruh would maintain the bunker's defense system and other intelligence-required systems? Yes, the Fegelbunker was hidden from public eyes, but who will know which Nazi maniac or hakushin history lover would find our hidden gateway in the U-Bahn and break our peace. And while I'm outside, it's up to your jobs to protect our bunker, and get the systems runnin'. "
"Yes… but why would you let Ann into the operations? Isn't usin' her as a potential bait a little bit unethical? "
"Don't worry, first off I have nein thousand better plans than usin' Ann chan as a bait, and Ann chan appearin' in an epically failed Kamoshida would piss him off further; besides, Ann chan came as her own will when me and Ryuji planned to Tainan, last days she even mocked Kamoshida herself in voice chats! And of course Kamoshida generated more parody materials, but I'm sick of makin' Kamoshida parodies anyway… "
"Alright… By the way, did you forget to bring your Evoker? In case of emergency, you can always summon your Perusona to protect yourself! "
"Wow… you still remember the Perusona things? I didn't use Perusona for years after I'm focusin' on online antics. And, the intelligence system of the bunker would be in your hands, even when we're in Tainan, we will still rely on your part, and perhaps even more. "
"You can count on me! " Futaba seems to be pretty cheerful.
1.5 operation kamogang
on board Kriegsmarine Antica
"Welcome aboard! How did you like it and why the futabruh are you late like for almost two days?" [insert_protag_name_here] greets Ryuji and Ann.
"Local foods, bruh, besides Ryuji's leg hurts seem to be severe… "
"Leg hurts… Ryuji, did you say you're an ex-athlete? Let me guess, Kamoshida's 'masterpiece', right? "
Ryuji didn't say anything of it, and [insert_protag_name_here] just let him rest.
"Don't worry, there is a medical wing in the ship and perhaps I could help fix it with our family's medical legacy, he shall be recovered in no time, perhaps when we arrive Tainan he will be able to battle again. "
Kriegsmarine Antica was on the way to the international waters near Tainan. Ann chan was roamin' on the ship, with curiosity.
"Wow, I didn't know you actually have a ship at your command. "
"It's actually my family's legacy. You might know or not, Fegelein family was once a very big family, we perform antics on all around the world. When we do antic operations onboard, we usually don't respect target nation's sovereignty, so we used this advanced warship to approach international waters near it, and send our landin' craft to infiltrate it, and use the reversed process to exfiltrate. In case of maritime encounter with target nation's navy, we equipped experimental anti-ship system powered by Perusona technology, luckily they just think we're normal ships and didn't give us opportunity to ever use it. "
"Sounds pretty cool. By the way, did you say you can treat Ryuji's leg hurts, can you do it now? "
"Yes, right away. Please escort Ryuji into the medical wing. I'm not the medical type Fegelein but I happen to know some medical technology, it's… also the legacy of my ancestors. "
The ship still didn't arrive in Tainan yet, and while healin' Ryuji, [insert_protag_name_here] somehow start tellin' stories…
1.i p e r u s o n a
Wait a minute, didn't you say [insert_protag_name_here] won't use Perusona in this operation? Why did he bring an Evoker anyway? And shouldn't Evoker be a Perusona 3 way of summonin' Perusona, and isn't it a Perusona 5 fanfic? Well, that's the story of a younger [insert_protag_name_here] in Japan…
We seem to mention [insert_protag_name_here] met Futaba in Japan, recht? Actually they went to Japan pretty often. One night in a dark street in Iwatodai City imagine Perusona 3 dank hour music here, [insert_protag_name_here] was suddenly struck by an unknown power and lost consciousness. When he woke up, he found a handgun like thing near him, and an Otaku-like fatarse tryin' to strip Futaba's clothes. And we can see his erected but still small wiener wavin' in the air already.
"Isn't that thing yours, sir? Leave that girl be, and probably I will return this crap back to your pedosexual arse! " [insert_protag_name_here] stood up and shouted at that Otaku.
"What the- Give me that damn thing! " Otaku saw that boy havin' his Evoker for some reason, and in fear; but at least he really left poor Futaba chan alone.
"Not gonna happen, " For some unknown reasons, or perhaps just because he watched too much Perusona 3 the Movies which's actually the long arse placement ads of Kirijo Group of its Perusona technology, [insert_protag_name_here] pointed the Evoker to his head, and pulled the trigger, sayin', "p e, r u, s o, n a. "
As we might see in Perusona 3 the Movie #1, a large blue aurora happened to appear above [insert_protag_name_here], and a Perusona was in formation, "Ware wa nanji… ando nanji wa fisshu… Ware wa nanji no kokoro no umi yori izuru-mono… Der Antic Master, FEGELPHEUS! " For some unknown reasons, [insert_protag_name_here] used his Perusona move even without a Fegel-glasses; "Mindfudge! " Fegelpheus fudged that Otaku's mind and this hakushin Perusona battle finished in 999.999 millisecond.
Wait a futabruhin' minute, is "Mindfudge" a legit Perusona move? Well, [insert_protag_name_here] is an antic master, and he can create whatever futabruhin' move he wants; problem is as a level 0 Perusona user, he only had one move slot at that time, besides his Perusona energy is limited to 1KJ without power modules. But, that's enough for "Mindfudge" to fudge someone's mind.
What precisely happened after bein' "mindfudged" to that Otaku is currently unknown. Police reports indicate that poor guy stabbed himself neinty nein times before he cut his own wiener and threw out his intestines in traditional Japanese seppuku style and died; problem is, did I seem to explicitly mention "knife"? What futabruhin' ever, after that unfortunate incident, a long haired girl with red hair and red eyes rushed to the scene, with a bunch of guards with portable weapons. "The traitor is somehow eliminated, just… in a strange way. I didn't think Perusona battle could be… that cruel. " One of the guards watched in horror at that deformed Otaku.
"Wait a minute, I don't think it's caused by Perusona battle anyway. We'd better ask that pretty boy holdin' his Evoker, perhaps he might know what happened. "
"Hello stranger, I'm Mitsuru Kirijo of the Kirijo Group and it seems that you summoned a Perusona… "
"Wait a minute, Kirijo Group? THAT Kirijo Group in Perusona 3 the Movies? Wow I did Nazi real Kirijo Group people would come here. By the way, both your movies and Perusona summonin' devices futabruhin' rocks arse, Inaba Armament's Perusona summonin' cards and Okumura 'Foods'' Perusona summonin' facemasks are just über GAY! Just, did it really be necessary to hurt like a real gun? "
"Wow… you even know Okumura's secret Perusona business… You must be a seasoned Perusona user. "
"Nope, we just dug into Okumura's networks for some lulz and found out they're more than a food chain; and it's only my first time to summon this thing called Perusona… "
"And you manage to beat down an artificial Perusona user of ours, well, albeit he's a traitor, and a powerful one. What's your name anyway? "
"[insert_protag_name_here] Fegelein. An antic master. That's probably why I can't use some
Perusona skills normal Perusona users, as I see it, unable to use. "
"A Fegelein… " Mitsutu thonks
inserts :thonktsuru: here, "My father used to work with anotherFegelein for so called 'antics' operations… "
"Probably that's my father… did you know where that Fegelein went? "
"We didn't have any information of him after the last operation, sorry. "
"Bruh. F u t a b r u h. "
"Cheer up. We might not be able to find your father, but since you finished our traitor off, we will give you more promisin' rewards in return. Not just you can have this Evoker for your Perusona summonin' use, since you can use it in unorthodox ways, we will open much more permissions for you except root permissions. Actually we might rely on you to feedback more Perusona data to us to improve our products. And yes, we will help you clear up this piece of legal troublesome corpse, so corrupted cops here won't trouble you. "
"That sounds promisin'. Well, it would be a great honor to cooperate with Kirijo Group. "
"Have a nice day, antic master. We have a Shinkansen to catch. " Mitsutu left in a hurry with her guards.
"Wow you're a Perusona user too, bro? " Futaba suddenly spoke after long silence.
"Well, that's what happened when you stay in Japan for too long, you would start usin' their wired arse technologies. But it's really useful for antics, and more. Besides, i never thought a Kirijo Group advanced researcher is actually a pedophile. Japan is not safe anymore, Futaba chan. We need to retreat to the bunker SOFORT. We'll find out other better tourist destinations. "
"And this Mitsutu person… don't you think she's pretty? She looks like the prettiest women I've ever seen! "
"Perhaps… but she's not my type, you know. I only like cute girls with glasses. "
"That's how I happen to master Perusona technology, and have a deep cooperation with Kirijo Group ever since. This operation will definitely have their support, and, if we couldn't find a better way to futabruh Kamoshida, I would like to directly 'Mindfudge' his pedosexual arse. "
"Gross! " Ann chan seems to be dissatisfied of this.
"Then it's up to you to help me find a less gross way to futabruh him, and that's exactly why I insist to bring you onboard instead of doin' this crap alone. By the way, Ryuji, your legs are now fully recovered to normal, and you might be able to pursue your top athlete dream or whatever dreams you have after this operation. "
"Really? " Ryuji asked in doubt. He seemed to have gone to various hospitals, and none of them could treat it.
"You can try when you are basically returned to the island. Well, we're only 15 nautical miles away from our LZ. All hands, stop the ship, enable optical camouflage and initiate deployment. "
1.6 kamoshida's little secrets
"There is a futabruhin' river inside Tainan city, and by drivin' into this river, you will only need less than 1.3 kilometers of walk to Shujin Academy Tainan campus. " [insert_protag_name_here] used his Fegel-glasses to watch satellite maps on Google Maps Fegelapp. Fegel-glasses is no ordinary glasses, it's an Mixed Reality glasses with Fegel-technology to add extra layers of information into rays of lights. Compared to other type of MR glasses, Fegel-glasses can show additional layers of hakushin reality in 3D, and more. It's connected to the bunker's intelligence system Fegeltelligence, currently maintained bt Futaba chan.
"That's an effin' long way, why can't we just board the coastline and take an effin' taxi. " Ryuji was in charge of drivin' the landin' craft's engine, and complained.
"Well, did you have local currencies in your hand? Basically even hotel we'll be stayin' later was booked by me usin' fake identities and hacked bank account, well, Kamoshida's. I didn't respect a nation's sovereignty when it's full of Kamoshida and Li Zhiqiang in its people, so I don't wanna use its currency either, unless necessary. Besides, it's barely a nation anyway. "
"Alright alright, then what you're gonna eat? Steal from Shujin Academy's cafeteria? "
"Well, you don't to need steal anyway, I forged Shujin Academy student data and we can just legit eat in there for futabruh's sake. "
"I don't wanna eat cafeteria foods, didn't I look like bein' sick of it enough? Besides, I don't need to follow your radical anarchic bullcrap. I'm gonna use my American girl privileges to exchange USD to NTD and act like normal people. With Ryuji. You can probably enjoy your hakushin CIA agent life yourself, senpai. "
"Whatever you want, Ann chan. Except take care of your stomach AGAIN. No medicare for you! You're legal in Taiwan without a visa anyway, unlike us. And unlike me, a literal nobody who would better not actually have a name. Other than Li Zhiqiang, of course. "
"Well, we're at the drop point. Let's futabruhin' walk, the hotel is only fifty kicks from Kamoshida's office and we'll set up an electromagnetic listenin' port to intercept all electromagnetic signals from and to Kamoshida's shitty arse. "
"And that's why you would let us bring that heavy equipments? For real? "
"Yes, and don't forget it contains an encrypted signal transmitter Fegelrelay with the bunker. I didn't trust these Kamoshittyarse controlled land. "
"Your whatever plan had better work, otherwise… "
"Otherwise what? You wanna do close-quarter combats again with Kamoshida, Ryuji? or watch me 'mindfudge' him into a deformed corpse, Ann chan? My plan will futabruhin' work. Don't futabruhin' worry. "
Well, they arrived at the hotel and set up the equipment anyway. Not long before they intercepted Kamoshida callin' someone on the phone:
"Hello? I'm outta juice, Send me the fuckin' drugs RIGHT NOW! I have a fuckin' national tournament to join! Don't fuck me up! Or it's YOU to be fucked up! "
"Our delivery network was cut off, Mr. Kamoshida. Local authorities suddenly tightened the custom and most of our durgs got confiscated. "
"I'll try to bribe these assholes into reopenin' for you, just resupply the fuckin' drugs! "
"Wow, drugs? I did Nazi that comin'. "
"I didn't see that comin' either, Kamoshida is a drug addict? Mind was blown. "
"Now it's gettin' interesting, let's try to find the information of the other side. Call that damned number, Ann chan. "
Ann chan called that number Kamoshida dialed. And a machine generated voices came outta the hotel phone, "Oyamada Pharmaceutics, the best legal or barely legal prescription drug manufacturer all cross Japan. "
"Wow. Kamoshida's drug supplier. I suppose whatever Kamoshida needs is definitely outta its product catalogs. I need to contact Futaba for a deep search of its personnels, then we might know the nature of Kamoshida's drugs. "
"Fegel-glasses, establish the secure link with the bunker. "
"Nearby Fegelrelay found. Secure link with Fegeltelligence established. "
"Futaba chan! I can see you clearly in the Fegel-glasses. "
"Same, bro. And I can see Ryuji and Ann in 3D too! "
"Definitely. And we're not for chitchats. We need to get the information of a certain Oyamada Pharmaceutics, I mean information of personnels involvin' in soundly illegal drug's R&D. "
"One moment. Found a Tae Takemi person, she's graduated from Tokyo University and rumored to be a pioneer in superhuman enhancement drugs. "
"Superhuman enhancement drugs… does that sound like? "
"Kamoshida needs superhuman enhancement drugs to join a volleyball tournament? "
"Kamoshida's dopin'? "
"He's dopin' his pedosexual arse to Olympics? "
"Wow WTF? "
"Let's just grab the evidence and report his sorry arse to the IOC, and his career is over, and we can all go home now. "
"I don't think it's a good idea. Even Kamoshida's Olympic medals are indeed provoked, what next? He's still a futabruhin' good teacher in local people's eyes, as long as he received his drugs and have his 'superhuman enhancements'. " [insert_protag_name_here] always think relyin' on a certain authority is not a good idea, mostly due to his anarchism belief, "Besides, I would like to have this Tae Takemi person work with me other than Kamoshittyarse; even if you wanna find your evidences, you will most likely find from her outta all people in Oyamada Pharmaceutics. "
Meanwhile it's Shujin Academy's PE time, and Li Zhiqiang (hakushin), Ryuji and Ann chan didn't attend the PE class for perhaps the third time, for obvious reasons. An enraged Kamoshida was waitin' for Mishima to report to him.
"Wir können den Li Zhiqiang nirgendwo finden. Er ist nicht in der Schuleanlage. "
"Was soll das heißen, Sie können Li Zhiqiang nicht finden?! Dann suchen Sie ihn! Ich will Li Zhiqiang sehen! SOFORT! Wenn er sich ohne Befehl entfernt hat, ist das Fahnenflucht! Verrat! Bringen Sie mir Li Zhiqiang, Li Zhiqiang! Li Zhiqiang!! Li Zhiqiang!!! "
"We cannot find Li Zhiqiang anywhere. He is not in the school. "
"What does that mean, you can't find Li Zhiqiang?! Then look for him! I want to see Li Zhiqiang! Immediately!! If he has left without an order, it is a desertion! Treason! Bring me that fuckin' Li Zhiqiang, Li Zhiqiang! Li Zhiqiang!! Li Zhiqiang!!! "
"As if it won't piss me off more, what the hell did Ann Takamaki doin' in Shujin? To mock me face to face? I would fuck her virgin pussy until it's full of blood and semen combined! "
"And then RYUJI SAKAMOTO! Unter allen ausgerechnet SAKAMOTO!! You wanna get your legs broken AGAIN! Come and get me! And these three assholes DARE not to attend my class? AND THREE TIMES? EXPEL THEM! I would report to the board immediately! " Kamoshida left in an impotent rage.
Of course this one also went into Kamoshida parody collections. Literally without exceptions.
"Futaba chan, what did you find about that Tae Takemi?"
"She's… really one of the kind. She's only 27 and she already had several papers on Science of all journals; but… "
"But what? "
"Her position in the Oyamada Pharmaceutics is still low despite her achievements. Perhaps because her relation with her employer, well, an asshole called Shoichi Oyamada is pretty poor. "
"Perhaps we can pull some antics in here to make her betray her stupid arse whatever the futabruh Pharmaceutics, and come to us. Hopefully I mean come to Tainan and then my goddamned hotel, I can't make another identity to infiltrate Japan for futabruh's sake. "
"That's pretty hard… for your extra requirements. But I'm workin' on it. Well, Kamoshida asked for extra drug delivery. Our best approach is to change its internal system to dispatch Takemi instead of other people into Tainan to delivery the drugs, and sabotage the drug synthesis process to render her drugs basically useless, and blame her inside the company's internal system; luckily all three are within our reach of antics. All you need to do is to just approach her and persuade her in. "
"That's pretty big help, Futaba chan. See, you can still help me when stayin' in the bunker. I would do extra processes to prepare for her arrival, or just add this into my Fegel-glasses' Objective system. "
Riley chan, Cosette chan, and Suguru Kamoshida were all lost in the desert. They found a lamp and rubbed it. A genie popped out and granted them each one wish. Riley chan wished to be back home. Poof! She was back home. Cosette chan wished to be at home with her family. Poof! She was back home with her family. Suguru Kamoshida said, "You goddamn, no good, shitty brats! Haven't you been taught not to point at people!? Huh!? "
Nope, this joke is too overused.
Meanwhile Kamoshida went into the Board's office, "Can you fuckin' expel these three asshole students? They're not in my PE class for THREE DAYS! How dare they defy my authority! "
"Calm the fudge down, Mr. Kamoshida. Yes your authority in the PE class might be important for you to fuck high school girls' virgin pussies, but not as important as the fact that - Shujin Academy is a privileged private high school with eight million yen of tutor fees a year, and we don't basically wanna lose 24,000,000 yen of income just because the minor dissatisfaction of yours. Besides, you can always get the fudge off to wherever the fudge you came from, and we can always hire another PE teacher with less 'controversy'. "
"Wait a minute… did you really receive these 24,000,000 yen of yours anyway? " the smartarse accountant has spoken.
"What could that be a question? Or how? "
"It's a new school year, and we happen to have 24,000,000 yen of losses on our accounts. Just because three due tutor fees. "
"What? There are three assholes deadbeats and they didn't attend school anyway? Now it's a better reason to expel them. Go expel them, everyone. "
"How could we expel three students who didn't appear in our school at least once anyway? And more importantly, how did they apply for our school in the first place? "
"Well, the latest info from our IT staff: our student database has been breached, and three names were deliberately added into the database. These are: Li Zhiqiang, Ann Takamaki and Ryuji Sakamoto. "
"The database would be restored into normal and these names would be removed from your students' list, Mr. Kamoshida. And sorry for the misunderstandings. "
"I KNEW it, an online troll deliberately knew my grudge with this lovely couple. But what the fuck is this Li Zhiqiang brat, and what did he do with them? "
"Don't tell me that online Li Zhiqiang rumors are actually true… We only heard the rumor that Li Zhiqiang is happened to be a retarded boy who's also in Tainan, likes to fap to MLP porn and harass little girls, well, with blue eyes. And strangely no matter how many of his online accounts were terminated, he will always come back with a new one; he even created and deleted three Discord chatrooms in a week! No wonder he became an online joke in almost everywhere, so basically if you see his presence even in a hakushin Perusona 5 fanfic, it's not actually surprised. And his biggest dream is to be an American outta all kinda nations he would go! HAHAHA! "
"He can get his ass arrested minutes after he realized his dream! I've never seen people that stupid… "
One or two days later; a punk short haired girl with blue hair appeared in front of Shujin Academy's front door; and [insert_protag_name_here] was already prepared for her…
"Hello and are you a Shujin student? How could I find one of your teachers, someone called Kamoshida? "
"The drug delivery to Suguru Kamoshida would end up in failure, Ms. Takemi. "
"Wait, are you a covert FBI agent or what? Why do you know my name anyway? "
"Well, we seem to know all of it. Instead of endin' up in authorities' hands for illegally distributin' drugs, you'd better have a little walk and talk with me, or at least explain why would you decide to send illegal drugs to a pedosexual human scum like Kamoshida. "
"Is he really that bad? I only heard of him bein' a well, professional athlete for special needs, besides I'm only a medical researcher, I shall be still in the lab other than deliverin' drugs. "
"Well, if his special athletic needs are futabruhin' high school girl in 'Higher, Faster, Deeper' style, perhaps you're right; Besides, the drugs in your hand were already sabotaged in the synthesis process. "
"What? How could you know that? "
"That's not important. What's important is that after usin' your useless drugs, Kamoshida would rant like Adolf Hitler to your boss, and he will futabruh you up. Basically our intelligence indicates that he will futabruh you up anyway, with whatever the futabruh hakushin reason he could find. "
"…My boss is indeed a jerk, he's jealous of my works and all these years he just gave me a little position despite of my hard works. And he even sent me to deliver the drugs! If he wanted me dead, I'm not surprised… "
"But you can't let your talent die like this, Ms. Takemi. We can offer your way of freedom, and it would be much better that people like you would work with me other than Kamoshida or that arsefutabruhed Shoichi Oyamada"
"Can you? "
"Yes, we can. We can futabruh Kamoshida, fake your death if you like, and you can work your medical projects in a better and more secure workin' environment. But I need your help to take down Kamoshida right now, since you developed the human enhancement drugs that he's currently usin' anyway. "
"As if I had a better choice. Fine, I will work with you. But you've been warned, either Kamoshida or Oyamada Pharmaceutics are workin' for a much bigger entity than all of us. "
"Wow. If Oyamada Pharmaceutics is in such schemes, I'm not surprised, just like Okumura 'Foods'. But why Kamoshida? Proof? "
"Did you see Kamoshida's mansion, kiddo? Do you think an Olympic champion and PE teacher of a high school could afford such expensive mansion? Even he sold his metals, he won't get enough money for that, these things must be sponsored by someone else. A much bigger power. "
"And he got these drugs due to his relations to the schemes too, I guess. By the way we shall leave this place before Kamoshida's men saw us, and you shall totally see our base, we're totally cool people. "
At the temporal hotel base of Kamogangers; "Did you see who the futabruh I bring here? Tae Takemi, the mediscience god! Of course you only care about 'grab the evidences and report to the IOC' crap. That's dull. And. Gay. "
"For me, the real Kamogangin' begins: Can we make a new drug to counter Kamoshida's enhance drug effects and make him less… powerful to arsefutabruh, Mr. Takemi? "
"Perhaps yes, I happened to bring all the 'source code' of my works, just find a suitable laboratory in somewhere and I could probably synthesize a counter-effective drug for Kamoshida. He will not just lose his superhuman enhancements, he will become 'less than human'. "
"Hmmm… we call it Untermensh. He's a futabruhin' Untermensh anyway. What about Shujin Academy's chemical labs? I could forge you some teacher identity to use such labs… "
"It might be just enough, thanks. "
"Alright then, and another thing that needs everyone's attention: Kamoshida and Oyamada Pharmaceutics both work for a huge arse shadow organization with unknown name, and definitely evil purpose. Let's identify them, find out links of it with Kamoshida, and keep eavesdroppin' his activities. Reuse kamoshittyarse.live if necessary. "
"Well, we might be younger, but we're definitely not kiddin', when we say we'll bring Kamoshida down. "
1.8 another new enemy of kamoshida
Everythin' went as planned, usin' forged teacher identity, Takemi went in and out of Shujin Academy's chemical labs without any problems, with literally no one suspectin' a damn thing. Last database hack was deliberately leavin' traces to piss Kamoshida off, but this hack is traceless, unless until the next billin' cycle of this shithole; but that's things one month later anyway. Takemi successfully synthesized the counter-effective drugs for Kamoshida as planned, not just it would reduce Kamoshida's physical powers, since the original drugs had the unfortunate side effects of erectile dysfunction, Takemi enhanced this part of the side effects, to make Kamoshida suffer from erectile dysfunction even more: theoretically even neinteen high school virgin girl stand naked in front of him, his little wiener won't erect at all.
And Kamogangers somehow did find out Kamoshida had such plans to host an orgy party by invitin' a bunch of high-profile local people, of course also linked to the evil organization Kamoshida's in, and "invitin'" neinteen high school girls with his typical threats. Ann chan's friend, Shiho Suzui is unfortunately in the list. "That's the almost perfect opportunity for us to seize much more information of the evil organizations than ever, " [insert_protag_name_here] changed his original plans of druggin' Kamoshida and report his arse to the IOC and expose him through Kamoganger Chat Central networks, "Problem is, how do we basically drug him? and more, drug his guests too? Well, I have no ethical concerns of that, if these arseholes are enjoyin' high school girls with Kamoshida and happen to be in the same organization, I would like them all go to Takemi's erectile dysfunction hell. "
"What about we let Ann go in and serve them drinks? "
"That's a bad idea, pretty bad one; unlike other local high school girls, Ann chan is Kamoshida's ultimate target and she would be raped on sight; you shall not sacrifice your girlfriend like that, we shall let other people do it instead, like me, I had a syringe gun to inject this crap in far distances, then I can 'mindfudge' his pedosexual arse. "
"That's gross! Bruh, that's the most disgustin' Perusona move I've ever heard! "
Kamogangers still didn't find out the best way to administer the drugs to Kamoshida. Not long before they somehow watched a certain "Tainanese Resistance Movement"'s rally videos on a local video website outta boredom.
"What the serious futabruh is this 'Tainanese Resistance Movement'? Are these guys for real? "
"They claimed to drive all Japanese people outta Taiwan island, or at least Tainan City; and most of the members indicated in their videos are nothin' but some jobless hooligans. They had torches on their hands and ready to burn every Japanese people on sight. "
"So it looks like other 'Resistance Movements', racist organizations made by pussyless people thinkin' another group of people took their pussies. Wait… "
"Pussies? Burn Japanese people who futabruh pussies? It must be related to Kamoshida, because we all know how effective for his wiener to harvest local pussies. So I suppose the leader of this so called 'Resistance Movement' is definitely a Kamoshida hater, even possible to be someone we happen to know. "
"Futaba chan, can we dig into this new 'Tainanese Resistance Movement' organization and try to identify its leader? "
"Hmmm… the leader used several false names, but all activities of these false names converged into a certain Shujin Academy student called Yuuki Mishima. "
"Mishima? the only Mishima I knew is that Yukio Mishima, who committed real seppuku after his Nazi style performance arts in an JSD base. Whatever, and another question, what's this Mishima's ethnicity? "
"He's 100% Japanese people, albeit his parents lived in Tainan though. What kinda question is that? "
"A 'Tainanese Resistance Movement' founded and led by a 100% pure Japanese people, he's either über retarded, or he's the greatest troll that I've ever met. "
"Wait… Yuuki Mishima? I've heard of that name! He's Kamoshida's effin' herald, aka 'Göbbels of Kamoshida'. It's him who assisted Kamoshida to bring girls to his office for what we all know. "
"Wow, Ryuji, you even know the word 'herald'! Your English is not that bad. "
"And I guess he was threatened to do such dirty works, and that would explain why he's the most hardcore anti-Kamoshida people we've ever known for now. It must be a certain girl in Mishima's heart, that made him betray Kamoshida. "
"And another conclusion: Unlike Toilet chan, Mishima is indeed a troll, and actually a great one.
But he just picked the most dangerous path ever; I shall rescue his sorry arse before it's too late. "
"Meanwhile Futaba chan, try to find the exact list of high school girls invited by Kamoshida, perhaps it would be useful when I'm approachin' Mishima. "
It's not too hard to find Mishima in Shujin Academy, because as the hakushin "Göbbels of Kamoshida", he's always with Kamoshida, just wait for Kamoshida's PE class is over, "and I can just find and talk to him. "
"Greetings, leader of the 'Tainanese Resistance Movement'. Let us join you, so we can burn these corrupted Japanese arseholes like Kamoshida outta our homeland! "
"Wait what, how could you… Let's go to somewhere private, shall we? "
They got into the rooftop of Shujin Academy, a place also favored by Okumura "Foods" Facemask usin' Perusona users.
"Well, why do you join the Tainanfront anyway? It's not like you look like a Taiwanese people to begin with. "
"Yes, I'm not interested in your 'burn all the Japanese people' business anyway. I'm more interested to find out what the futabruh will happen, when these jobless hooligans find out their leader is actually 100% Japanese, Mishima san? "
"As long as Kamoshida can be burned to ashes, I don't actually care about myself. "
"I really like your style of thinkin' things. We would like to use people like you. Didn't you think of other possibilities, that you can actually survive this while still burnin' Kamoshida to ashes too. Even with a girl of your choosin'? "
"What? " Mishima looked like in doubt, "Who the magic piece of people are you? "
"We are the Kamogangers, whoever made Kamoganger Chat Central chatroom and promoted Kamoshida into the epicenter of YouTube's memes. And we would like to add more parody materials if you could burn Kamoshida into dust. "
"Wow these Kamoshida parody videos are really great, never thought it's you guys who made it. "
"Not just that, we even had a lotta intelligence on Kamoshida for some purposes. Like a complete list of Kamoshida's invitees on his upcomin' orgy party in his mansion you guys might wanna burn. Interested? "
"Hmmm… Shiho? Why did that human scum Kamoshida invite Shiho? WTF? "
"Shiho Suzui… ring any bells? "
"Shiho's my childhood friend… You know, I don't wanna be this 'Göbbels of Kamoshida' anyway, just this Kamoshida knew our relationships and threaten to rape her if I won't comply. Now this Kamoshittyarse broke his promises, and now I shall burn everything of him into nonexistent! "
"Then what about becomin' the 'Göbbels of Kamogangers' instead? Besides, we did have a plan to rescue your Shiho and perhaps other high school girls before we proceed to burn his mansion to the ground. All we need is your cooperation. But anyway, you shall totally meet our cool and would be cooler if you also joined staff. We'll talk about the final plan in detail there. "
At the temporal hotel base of Kamogangers, again; "Welcome abroad, Mishima san. And everyone, this Göbbels will work for us now. Happy Kamogangin'! "
"And Ann chan, a Shiho Suzui is also in the Kamoparty's invitee lists. You mentioned that you have a friend also called Shiho, right? Is she happened to be this Shiho? "
"Wait… Yes, she's my friend Shiho. How could that monster do that to her! "
"Calm the futabruh down. Now if you could also contact her, just let her come here. She and other eighteen girls might be the best option for us to drug Kamoshida and his guests into Kamogang. "
"How dare you use Shiho as one of you plans? "
"Otherwise what the futabruh would you do? You would drug Kamoshida yourself, before you got futabruhed and in Kamoshida's own words, 'with pussy filled with blood and semen'? Besides, it would be 100% secure; if you're still not sure, I would escort Shiho myself and 'mindfudge' anyone who dares to lay a finger on her. I can 'mindfudge' one hundred people before my energy run out. Now you're satisfied, Ann chan? "
"Fine, I'll call her in, [insert_protag_name_here] senpai. And if your plan failed, you're gonna feed yourself to a shark or whatever. After all the torture you lay on me. Your heavy equipments. And now, Shiho! "
"Wait a minute, I almost forgot about it. We need to bring them back into the landin' craft before the real raid starts. But don't worry, I will allow you to take a taxi to the riverside anyway. Now, you futabruhin' satisfied? "
Shiho arrived afterwards and [insert_protag_name_here] explained to her of all the bullcrap above, and "Would you feel surprised that two of your friends are also in my Kamoganger crew? "
"A bit… What would you need me and other girls to do? "
"Well, here's the drugs you needed to add into the alcohol drinks of the party, then, you and the other girls serve every futabruhin' one of these guests and Kamoshida these drugged drinks, after drinkin' it, they will literally become bewegungsunfähig, includin' their wieners. They will lose the ability to futabruh any one of you, until their very end. "
"What kinda fish is 'Bewegungsunfish'? Why would they become fishes anyway? I didn't know Takemi's drugs can change human into fishes. Wow. "
"German for 'unable to move', Shiho chan. Yes we often used this 'fishy' memes. "
"This commander of ours is actually from Germany, no wonder he would sometimes say some wired ass German words. You would get used to it pretty soon. " Ann chan smiled.
1.9 Der Kamo(shida)gang, a 20XX film (hakushin
The final plan is set.
plays Life Will Change Kamoshida Moanin' Remix
The last stage of Operation Kamogang
- [insert_protag_name_here] Fegelein - Commander, Antics Type Perusona user, Intelligence Gatherer
- Ryuji Sakamoto - Main Enforcer, Intelligence Gatherer
- Ann Takamaki - Intelligence Gatherer
- Tae Takemi - Medical Officer (Standby), Intelligence Gatherer
- Yuuki Mishima - Intelligence Gatherer, "Tainanese Resistance Movement" Riot Signal Giver
- Shiho Suzui - Combat Medic (hakushin
- Futaba Fegelein - Intelligence Officer
- The total and complete elimination of Suguru Kamoshida
- The complete retrieval of all items with intelligence values within Kamoshida's mansion
- The exfiltration of all Participants
"Der Kamogang will start at exactly 2000 Hours, today. "
"Combat Medic shall finish the intoxication process of targets two hours prior to the arrival of the main forces. "
"Backup plan: If Main Target is still not intoxicated, the ones with syringe-gun shall do the job. If necessary, just initiate Stage Three already. "
"After confirmation of Main Target's intoxication, Intelligence Gatherers shall move in, take security systems (if there's any) offline and check items for intelligence values, and take them into your bagpacks. "
"As for sub targets, if any one of them is not intoxicated, the Enforcers shall beat the futabruh outta their arses, or just 'mindfudge' their arses, or whatever their arses. "
"After the intelligence gatherin' is finished, everyone can harass Kamoshida as they see fit, make sure the other eighteen girls are properly escaped, then initiate Stage Three. "
"Riot Signal Giver shall give signals to 'Tainanese Resistance Movement' members to initiate the riots; all participants shall prepare to exfiltrate. Expect extra police forces inbound. "
"There are at least two exfiltration routes: Either take Route A to the riverside to wait for landin' craft pickup, or take Route B to the so called 'Golden Coast' to wait for landin' craft pickup. "
"Route A is approximately 1.7 kilometers, and Route B is approximately 13.2 kilometers. "
"Just stop that music already, I can't even focus on what you're sayin'! "
"Alright alright, now before we're gonna do anythin', remove and repack the equipments. We'll check out today, and we would better not leave any traces in here. Besides, we have 6 people right now instead of 3, it would be extra easy. "
They used two hours to repack all of the heavy equipments and bring them to the riverside and the unmanned landin' craft is already waitin'.
"Well, just put them inside it and it would just bring them back. And, now time to equip yourselves with these new portable equipments. "
Everyone except Shiho has equipped with a pair of Fegel-glasses, a military style backpack to pick up all the intelligence items that would be found, and a portable syringe-gun loaded with Takemi's drugs that can fire 10 rounds per minute.
"Well, even when our heavy electromagnetic warfare equipments were sent back, we still have the limited electromagnetic warfare ability. Every one of our Fegel-glasses can interact with surroundin' devices in a network style, and we still have the ability to contact the bunker so Futaba chan can hack anythin' around any one of us just like she's on site. "
"So what's the meanin' of your heavier equipments, senpai? "
"They're better in performance, and can work in days to weeks. How many weeks did we stay in that damned hotel? "
"Two weeks? Three weeks? "
"Two weeks and three days; if you only use glasses, they're outta power the very second day. "
"But anyway, I thought you would only call us to beat Kamoshida, never thought we're gonna be on an effin' warfare! "
"Since whatever we do today will piss off the evil organization hard, we need to perform these kinda military grade operations even more in the future. But at least in this time it's just a futabruhin' drill, don't worry, if you really futabruhed things up, I can always 'mindfudge' people to let them forget about our failures. "
"B r u h. "
inserts :bruhkamaki: here
"For some reasons, I thought your Ann chan is a little bit kawaii, of course not as kawaii as my sister. "
"Kawaii? You did have strange tastes of girls, senpai. "
"And one more thing, Mishima. It would be in great lulz to let your members all call themselves Li Zhiqiang from now on; Tonight, we shall all be Li Zhiqiang! "
"That Kamoshida wannabe who wished to fuck American pussies but the only pussy he can fuck is his horse's? HAHAHAHAHA! We'll do exactly that. By the way that retard deserves to be impersonated to Toiletgang. "
"Wait a minute, did you just say, 'Toiletgang'? You're not even a Toiletganger Chat Central member! Whatever, I'm gonna be the major Li Zhiqiang to troll Kamoshida myself, for antics' sake. "
It's eight of futabruhin' clock right now. Kamoshida was hostin' the orgy party, but it seemed not the time to futabruh any girls right away. That's probably two hours later's things. Kamoshida is well, only a PE teacher, so the other sectors of his knowledges is kinda deserted, like: overdose of alcohol would definitely increase your probability of havin' erectile dysfunction, especially when they're mixed with Takemi's new drugs. Meanwhile other Kamogangers has approached the Kamoshida Mansion as planned. Before that, they approached several base stations nearby and shut them down to make sure no one's gonna be heroes (hakushin) tonight by makin' any phone calls, no matter to the local PD or other shady people. As for wired telephone… is someone still usin' this crap today?
"Our practices of electromagnetic warfare has not been in vain, see, the entire electromagnetic spaces nearby is under our complete control. Now we can try to locate its security systems and shut them down. Is there any sign of surveillance cameras or such? "
"No, sir. We didn't detect any from our Fegel-glasses scannin' systems either. "
"That's pretty strange, for a mansion. I guess they don't wanna leave any evidences for their pedosexual activities. Japan has a rather lax regulations of pedosexualities, but whatever happened in here is just unforgivable sins in the Western world, that's why they didn't set security anyway. If we can collect enough evidences of them havin' pedosexual activities here, we can justify whatever the futabruh we're gonna do to this place and its guests internationally. "
"Besides, my initial intelligence didn't find out Kamoshida actually had a futabruhin' mansion, so I only ask people to install hidden cams in his flat. But I guess he didn't use this mansion except this kinda party either. So, whatever, we'll have to finish our jobs without intelligence. "
Kamoshida's male guests were all at the brink of bewegungsunfähig, they just saw a bunch of strange people searchin' and takin' whatever they want, even things in their pockets; some of them tried to call the cops, but soon they found out that their fingers are also bewegungsunfähig, just like their wieners; a lucky one has the extra strength to actually dial the police number, before they found out in horror that the connection has already been cut off, and he's also completely bewegungsunfähig.
"See, they're all bewegungsun… f i s c h. " [insert_protag_name_here] pointed to these bewegungsunfähig guests, "like literally f i s c h without water. And this smartarse wanna dial the police number with his bewegungsunfähig fingers. Let's help him! "
[insert_protag_name_here] dialed the police number that's basically unreachable, usin' his phone.
"-Hello, this is the futabruhin' FBI, how can I help you? -Our pedosexual party was interrupted by some Nazi German Waffen Schutzstaffel kinda weirdos! Please send help! -Please wait here, we'll come to arrest your pedosexual arse in half an hour. "
"HAHAHAHAHA! That's really the joke of the year: Kamoparty 20XX! And probably all of its guest, and Kamoshittyarse! "
"I really can't get his sense of humor, Ann. Is he always like that? "
"Not always, at least not when he was like 'plannin' the operations' and acted like a hakushin special forces commander hours ago. "
"Yes, that's hakushin, because we should just 'mindfudge' Kamoshida's pedosexual arse already. Basically my rational plannin' is just a safeguard for my irrational rampage of antics. That's the real life of an antic master. " [insert_protag_name_here] somehow seemed to have heard Shiho and Ann chan talk.
"Alright senpai… " Ann chan acted in embarrassment, "By the way we've searched almost all places and took whatever we can take, except Kamoshida's room of course. "
"Pretty good… Everyone, come to the main chamber. Let's gather what we've currently found before confrontin' Kamoshida. "
Everyone gathered at the main chamber, with bewegungsunfähig guests all around them. Ryuji carried a big arse camcorder to the crew, "Who the eff uses that heavy ass camcorder to record videos. "
"Let me see… That's a futabruhin' Sony CineAlta F65! Why the futabruh would a PE teacher buy such expensive crap? "
"Perhaps it's not bought by him, just like this mansion, " Takemi suddenly spoke, "the evil organization bought it for him, for a certain kinda recordin' jobs around him… "
"Well, it's unlike Kamoshida knows how to use this shit, he's a PE teacher after all. " Everyone laughed, and [insert_protag_name_here] continued, "There must be someone else to do the recordin' jobs. As for contents and its potential customers, what would you expect for a shady organization full of elites? These elites around the world are sick of normal pussies, so even if they can't futabruh some underaged pussies, they would like to pay a lotta money to watch other people futabruhin' them. And I suppose that's exactly the price Kamoshida pays when he joined the elite club: he must tolerate another people usin' F65 to record his child pornography 'productions' and sellin' them to other elites. What about we ask Kamoshida himself instead? "
"And what's the storage media for F65? Let me check… This F65 was with a SR-R4 storage module, so it used SRMemory cards. Did you find some kinda big arse memory cards with 'SRMemory' on it? "
"Yes we found a lotta them in a storage room, and with a computer, and some hard drives. "
"Just remove the computer's hard drives and leave that computer alone. We don't have spaces for all of them, we only need to bring hard drives. And how many mobile phones did we seize? "
"Neinty-nein, sir. "
"Luckily I brought a batch data dumper with ten terabytes of SSD storage to automatially hack and dump all the data from them, so we don't necessarily need to bring them all home. Let's plug all the phones onto it and just let it process. "
"Now since we've controlled all the intelligences, we can let these girls all retrun home. Suzui, you're gonna come with us. At least that's the request of two of our members, Takamaki and Mishima. "
"You don't need to be suddenly so formal, senpai. Hours ago who called us 'chan'? "
One hour later; All of the phone data had been dumped into data dumper, and Kamoganger had made sure all of intelligence related item had been collected. Actually Kamoshida needed more time for the drugs to neutralize his superhuman enhancement, so he could be bewegungsunfähig just like others; Now it might be the time Kamoshida became nearly bewegungsunfähig, and Kamogangers decided to bid him farewell (hakushin.
Mishima, as the former "Göbbels of Kamoshida", approached Kamoshida first. At that time Kamoshida was still sittin' on his chair, waitin' for the time to come to futabruh high school girls. The exact reason of the delay is actually their F65 cameraman, when the party started he was just departin' from Hong Kong International Airport for futabruh's sake and needed several hours to arrive in Tainan. (Yes I did looked up for flights from Tokyo to Tainan and found out it needs to transfer via Hong Kong) Kamoshida might feel just right, except he didn't realize what the actual futabruh happened to his body.
"MISHIMA! How dare you come to HERE! You want your girlfriend wannabe Suzui to be raped? "
"Unfortunately you can't rape anyone or harm me anymore, Mein 'Führer'. Don't you know your propaganda machine has already turned against you, for like weeks? Now you look more like a 'Failüre' than a 'Führer'. "
"How dare you fuckin' defy me! AND SAKAMOTO! WHY ARE YOU IN TAINAN! I should have sliced you into pieces! "
"Wait a minute, you're not Greta Thunberg anyway, you're not in the place to say 'how dare you'! "
Kamoshida attempted to throw a punch to Ryuji, but his fists of impotent rage just couldn't hit anythin' due to his reduced physical power. "What the fuck? "
"Well, thanks to your antics on that game, I got hurt so hard that I quitted my athlete life; Now thanks to a certain people, I can beat the eff outta your ass again. " Ryuji punched Kamoshida in the balls and he fell off the ground. Kamoshida wanna get the futabruh up, but soon he discovered he can barely move. "How could that be? Yes I did drink some wines, but how could that harm my power that much? "
"The drug delivery has been completed, Mr. Kamoshida. Now you can rant to my boss to let him fire me, of course if you could dial any number anyway. " Takemi also came in and mocked Kamoshida.
"I never thought this handsome Olympic champion is actually a dope champion, " Ann chan came and sit on Kamoshida's face, "What a shame, Kamoshida. This sexy body, you want it? Too bad it's not. For. You. "
Both Kamoshida's body and wiener were completely bewegungsunfähig right now. "Wunderbar, Spezialagent Suzui! " [insert_protag_name_here] finally decided to add the finishin' blow to the Kamoshida mockin' contest.
"Who the fuck are YOU OUTTA ALL PEOPLE! "
"My name is Li Zhiqiang, Kamoshida sensei. Just like you, I also had the dream of fuckin' Western virgin pussies. I thought I'm the worst people in Tainan, but I've never thought of, you are even worse than me. "
"Wait, what the eff is wrong with senpai? Is that his way of 'Toiletgangin''? "
"Even a human scum and a punchin' bag like me only harm Western little girls and leave ROC citizens alone, but you, how many ROC citizens have you harmed? You said you will start the revolution against Western people, but nope, even I am more capable of leadin' this revolution than you. "
"Stop mockin' me, you little brat! I will fuckin' rape your ass until you forgot about your name, Li Zhiqiang! "
"Have you recorded this part? "
"Yes, sir. " Mishima operated the F65 camcorder now.
"Thanks. Now we got both Kamogangin' and Toiletgangin' materials. Soon I would send the physical copy to Toilet chan to scare his sorry arse off. "
"Now the serious part. Suguru 'chan', how the futabruh did you get this fancy F65 camcorder? "
"Now I know, it's YOU who did the entire plan to fucked me up, right? "
"Answer my question, Suguru 'chan'! " [insert_protag_name_here] trampled on Kamoshida's belly.
"Alright alright, I'll talk, just get the fuck off me! "
"Then talk. The more you talk, the more willingly we will just leave you alone. "
"This camcorder, and this mansion, and all these fuckin' guest are from the Conspiratio! I didn't own any one of them! They gave me the drugs to let me perform child porn for them in return! "
"Well, did you know where these videos went? and who's the cameraman! "
"They never tell me the name of this guy! I only see him several times and he has neck length brown hair and red eyes! They often refer him as some kinda high rankin' member of the Conspiratio, but still they refuse to tell me his name! "
"Wow, high rankin' member actively participated in child pornography productions. Whatever this 'Conspiratio' is, it's futabruhed up. And don't worry, if he's indeed a high rankin' member, we'll find out his identity eventually. "
"By the way, do you wanna know what you'd end up, Suguru 'chan'? The arsehole-like 'Tainanese Resistance Movement', is basically in our control. When we signal them, they will just come to burn you and your guests and whatever this place is, into ashes. "
"You can kill me whatever you want, kiddos, since I really deserve such punishments for ever makin' a deal with such devils. But don't fuck with the Conspiratio! They're in literally everywhere, no matter in educations, industries, or the fuckin' governments! They will find and eliminate every last one of you ass before you even know what the fuck forces you're dealin' with! "
"Wiebitte? " [insert_protag_name_here] said in doubt, "We will futabruh your so called 'Conspiratio' anyway, and we don't futabruhin' mind usin' you and these guests as a message to whoever these 'Conspiratio' arseholes are. Don't futabruh with the people. "
"Before initiatin' the Stage Three, I have an extra present for you, Mishima. "
[insert_protag_name_here] took out an electric-powered dildo, "This 110V AC powered electrical monster can rape Kamoshida's arse in 7200rpm of speed and can send him into literal futabruhin' euphoria. "
"Why 7200rpm? "
"Because it's the rpm of modern hard drives. And because I'm a geek type antic master. And the honorable jobs of stickin' this crap into his arse and powerin' it up would be up to you, Mishima. " [insert_protag_name_here] stripped Kamoshida's pants and exposed his arse.
"The honor would be mine, commander. " Mishima inserted the dildo into Kamoshida's virgin arse, plug the cable into a nearby socket, and powered it up. Kamoshida was "ooooOOOOOOOO"in' in his literal futabruhin' euphoria.
"Let's just record some more Kamoshida parody materials and exfiltrate. By the way, Suguru 'chan', we are exactly the Kamogangers, people who made your parody videos. In fact we actually made thousands if not millions of dollars of Ad revenue outta your miseries. W i e b i t t e. "
The only word Kamoshida can say right now was only "ooooOOOOOOOO". Kamogangers soon felt überbored, stopped recordin', grab intelligence related items from Kamoshida, includin' his phone, some of his letters on his desk, and such things, and found a flare gun in his drawer. "Wait a futabruhin' minute, wasn't he a volleyball athlete? Why would he need a futabruhin' flare gun? "
"Perhaps… because someone gifted him, or whatever. But we can certainly use it to send the signals. "
"Alright then. Exfiltrate and signal the gang. And we need to bring this damn F65 too. We can use it to disguise ourselves as camera crew while Ann chan would be our model. "
After Kamogangers all left the Kamoshida mansion, Mishima shot the flare gun into the sky; soon this mansion would be devoured by "Tainanese Resistance Movement"'s special flames of well, recipes from Nazi Germany (hakushin. [insert_protag_name_here] gave the military grade recipes to these hooligans anyway as the gift of their hakushin friendships, so they can perform antics in a more complete style - I mean burn down the buildings more completely.
1.10 Extras: FINAL SHOWDOWN WITH THE ROC NAVY
The Kamogangers, after they left Kamoshida to die, came outta the Kamoshida mansion and found themselves surrounded in increased police activities.
"Wait a futabruhin' minute, how could these corrupt cops ever know this place? Like seriously, did we manage to cut the entire region's telecommunications down? Who the futabruh will call the futabruhin' cops now? "
"Wait… the cameraman! Kamoshida mentioned a cameraman who's assistin' in his child porn production! He was not in the mansion the whole time… "
"I guess for whatever the reason he got late for his party, and since we cut off all of the communications, he failed to establish a link with Kamoshida or other people. He must be the one to call the futabruhin' cops. "
"Ah fuck! If he's really a high rankin' member of the so called 'Conspiratio', he might call a ton of cops after our asses! "
"Calm the futabruh down. Currently I detected quite a lotta police boats on the river, so Route A would not be advised; It's hard to explain why six people was waitin' on the riverside anyway, since this river was seldomly used by boats as I see it when we came here. "
"So the only option is Route B; take two taxis, whoever had NTD on their hands. Current police data indicates they have not completely locked the city down. We shall move our arses to this 'Golden Coast' first. "
The Kamogangers successfully ordered two taxis and each three of them are on one, and they were movin' to the "Golden Coast".
"Then what? "
"The Antica is currently waitin' in 15 nautical miles away from the coast. In the worst case scenarios I shall use Antica's weapons to bombard the cost of the police vehicles and personnels and risk wagin' an all-out war with ROC, and that basically means I need to summon my Perusona; " [insert_protag_name_here] took out his Evoker from the pocket, "but we might be able to find a better gateway… "
"There is one! I knew a luxury cruise ship currently dockin' in the 'Golden Coast', and our camera crew disguise would be totally useful for it! "
"Yes! And I can let Futaba chan try to hack it and move its arse to the international waters, so we can board the Antica before anyone ever notice our presence. Let's just hope that they didn't lock down that part of the coast when we arrive. "
While two taxis were movin' rapidly to the "Golden Coast", they saw more than two dozens of police cars hurried to the opposite direction of them, "I guess they're ready to surround the 'crime scene', and I could even imagine a pissed off 'cameraman' at the scene, only to find out the remains of Kamoshida, or he couldn't find any god damned thing at all; it would be über fun, I had to admit. "
The taxis arrived near the "Golden Coast", where the cruise was still in there. Someone onboard shouted at the Kamogangers, "Are you the missin' camera crews? Thank god you came! Hurry up and get on board, we're leavin' in minutes! "
"Wow. Right at time. We're movin' as fast as we can; you know this camcorder is not lightweight thing. " [insert_protag_name_here] and his crews hurried to the cruise, "It's pretty coincidental that they happen to miss a camera crew, let me guess, local foods futabruhed them up. Why did SEA foods all in that poor qualities? But we will use this opportunity. "
"Could you tell me why we would leave in a hurry, captain? "
"I'm only a normal sailor, sir. We just got message of local authorities of facin' a I don't know, bandit spy threat, and the entire city is on lockdown. We're just a passenger ship, how could we have any spies on our ship? We'll have to leave this place, before these cops waste our time for their 'investigations'; They can't investigate a damn thing if none of them ever board on it, HAHAHA! "
"Perhaps you're right, anyway what kinda retard word is 'bandit spy'? whoever can do espionages and send spies, is definitely not a bunch of bandits. "
"I've looked into the history channel, bro. The 'bandit' in 'bandit spies' is a derogatory term for the regime on the other side of their island. "
"Wow. These people are really retarded. The other side is more like a nation than them, and they called them 'bandits'? I thought Li Zhiqiang is the most retarded people in Taiwan, but now I'm totally wrong. "
And [insert_protag_name_here] unfortunately saw a bunch of cops stopped their cars and movin' towards the cruise. "Hurry the futabruh up, captain, do whatever you can to leave this shithole; these corrupt cops are comin! "
"It's a giant ass ship, not a car, sir. We still need time to finish preparations for departure. " Finally the cruise started to move, but one of these cops was still be able to jump into the ship, "Did you see strange lookin' people that look like spies? …wait, you look exactly like the spy! "
"Kamoshida collaborators are not welcomed. You shall feed yourself to sharks or whatever to contribute your useless arse to the natural food chain. " [insert_protag_name_here] kicked the corrupt cop off the ship and watch him fall into water.
"We have a man down! The bandit spies are on the cruise! I repeat, the bandit spies are on the fuckin' cruise! Inform the navy immediately! "
"Inform the navy? What navy? ROC Navy? For their incredible military successes against unarmed civilians? Wow. Antica, approach the cruise in stealth mode. We need emergency evacuation. "
And [insert_protag_name_here] prepared the Evoker in his hand, "And time to use Perusona. "
"Wow, you even have guns? What kinda people are you, exactly? "
"Yes, we're not your camera crew. We're actually the IAEA agents infiltratin' into Taiwan to investigate their secret nuclear weapon programs, and got plenty of evidences back; now you might understand why they locked down an entire city for us. "
"Wow. I never thought a shitty place like Taiwan has nuclear weapons now. But we're just a civilian ship, how could we stop their navy! "
"Don't worry, UN forces would come to rescue us and definitely stop their navy from sinkin' your ship. Just move your arse to the international waters as fast as you can. "
The cruise almost reached the international waters, while a ROC destroyer approached them in high speed. "A destroyer? You gotta be futabruhin' kiddin' me… as if we really found out Taiwan's secret nuclear weapon programs, or as if they can really make nuclear weapons in the first place. "
"Stop the ship and allow for inspections immediately, or we will sink your little ship! " The destroyer sent radio messages to the cruise and sounds played all across the cruise's PA systems.
"Why? We're only a civilian cruise! " the captain replied desperately.
"Civilian? How many bandit spies disguised as civilian ships to invade our island! "
"Calm down, Admiral. You wanna have one more international scandal for our navy? Let's just talk to them. As long as they hand over the bandit spies, this thing would be resolved peacefully. "
"Fine, you'll do it. "
"We're the Navy of Peace, as long as you hand over the bandit spies on your ship, you're free to leave us and we will not lay any harm. "
Meanwhile [insert_protag_name_here] was lookin' into the target destroyer's information, "Kee Lung-class destroyer… formally Kidd-class destroyer made in the United States… equipped with two 127mm guns, several anti-ship missiles and… torpedo tubes?"
"Where's our ship, senpai? "
"Approachin', and you shall see it in your Fegel-glasses, includin' its weapon trajectories lines. Let's see… The first strike shall at least disable the guns, so the threats to both the cruise and Antica shall be defused. "
"What about their missiles and torpedoes? "
"They're under our electromagnetic interference and if we like, we can use them to hit themselves. "
"And… the current admiral on the ship… is also called Li Zhiqiang…. Hmmm… And the name of this ship… ROCS Zhiqiang… wow, he's almost as narcissistic as that Li Zhiqiang. "
"Wow. I never thought you can even perform Toiletgangin' in naval combats, senpai. "
"Futaba chan, hack into the cruise's radio system. I wanna have a little chat with this Pedophile Admiral. "
"Greetings, Admiral Lee. I'm the Bandit Spy General of the nuclear weapon discovery operation, Gruppenführer Hans Otto Georg Hermann Fegelein. Since you share the same name of a certain Tainanese pedophile, how would you like to be called Pedophile Admiral from now on? "
"Who are you and why are you in the cruise captain's radio lines! "
"That little secret of yours can't hide from the world forever. We will get the futabruh outta here, and expose to the entire world of your secret nuclear weapon programs. Or you can consider sinkin' the cruise, but you know what, we're sent by the Bandit Navy itself! If you kill me, there would be more than 50 much bigger ships than yours, includin' two aircraft carriers to rape your pedosexual arse. Consider, Pedophile Admiral! "
"Urgh! I'm not a pedophile! And I'm gonna sink your little ship like a fly! "
"Wow, then why did you have such a pedosexual name called Li Zhiqiang, Pedophile Admiral? Besides, this is a civilian ship with more than 1000 civilians, is killin' civilians for hakushin excuses of spies your navy's traditions? "
"CIVILIANS? PEEVILIANS! You fuckin' bandit spies disguised as anythin', you human scums! In 80s you disguised as refugees from the banditland, then the Filipinos! We have to kill all of them to make sure we're outta spies! I have to admit, It would be great to suffocate these scumbags spies into a locked cabin and send them back into their shitty banditland! And massacrin' these 'Filipinos' on our islands also feels just greeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeat! You can come as many as you want, bandit spies! and I'll kill you all! "
"Wow. More than 1000 people have heard your war crime praise just like listenin' to Adolf Hitler's speeches. Your beautiful war crime lovin' voices has spread all cross the cruise's PA systems, Pedophile Admiral. "
"When we sink your little shitty ship, there will be no fuckin' witnesses of our "war crimes" at all! Just like what we did to those 'Filipinos'! HAHAHAHAHA! "
"Wow. Just w o w. Now the conclusion is clear, Pedophile Admiral: your nation is barely a nation, and your navy is barely a navy either. Even when you're sittin' in an American made high-end destroyer, you're still more like a bunch of futabruhin' bandits than real soldiers. Sayonara. " The Antica had already prepared to disable ROCS Zhiqiang's two main guns as shown in Kamogangers' Fegel-glasses in weapon trajectories. [insert_protag_name_here] closed the radio interface, pointed the Evoker to his head in front of the entire cruise's people, and pulled the trigger, "Perusona. "
With optical camouflage disengaged, two blue rays of lights shot from the Antica in almost the speed of light, punchin' ROCS Zhiqiang's main guns into two piece of giant metal craps. Antica somehow took over ROCS Zhiqiang's radio system, and [insert_protag_name_here] started broadcastin' his antics, "Attention enemy vessel, you're unfortunately at war with Fegel-Republic of Germany Kriegsmarine Antica right now. "
"Federal Republic of Germany? "
"Wait a minute, how many Germanies are there today? "
"One, Admiral. That Germany has waged war with us? Shouldn't that Germany an ally of US? Shouldn't we the other ally of US? Why would Germany declare war on us? That doesn't make any sense. "
"Of course that doesn't make any sense, pedophiles. Especially when I'm about to punch another hole in your Toilet chan-like ship. Perusona. " Antica shot another blue ray of light and it punched into ROCS Zhiqiang's one side and came outta the other side, leavin' a hole in it.
"What. The. Fuck. Damage report! "
"Our weapon systems are completely offline. Main guns are damaged to the point of completely unusable. "
"What about the anti-ship missiles? Shoot whatever this Antica is into the ocean! These expensive American Harpoon anti-ship missiles will fuck them up! "
"The electromagnetic interference is too much, we can't even target anything! "
"Not exactly anything. We can still target ourselves! And it happens to be possible! "
"Not the right time for your sense of humor. Should we alert the Americans of bein' attacked? They can call in the Seventh Fleet to reinforce us. "
"Did you arseholes know where the futabruh the Seventh Fleet is right now? They're currently in Japan! The only thing they will see, assumin' they dare to come here of course, is the meat sausage of your corpses. Besides, what would you say to your American daddies? 'We're attacked by the German Navy'? They might think you're trollin', just like that Li Zhiqiang! HAHAHA! "
"Fuck you! Fuck you!! Fuck you!!! "
"How many times of us that you futabruh won't change the fact that you're the one actually bein' futabruhed, pedophiles. Shouldn't you glorify the mass murder of civilians, I shall leave all of you alive by lettin' you retreat and repair your ship. But now, it's too futabruhin' late. All of you shall be tossed into the ocean to feed whatever big fishes you met. Perusona. " [insert_protag_name_here] somehow found the location of the ammunition depot of ROCS Zhiqiang and ignited it with another blue ray of light of Antica. This pedosexual (hakushin) ship was literally on fire. Soon it was punched two more holes to make it sink faster.
"See, they're are all in deep confusion right now. What about we give them some humanitarian aids by make them and perhaps later Americans less confused? "
"Attention enemy vessel, wir doch sind nicht Deutschen, мы ррррррррусские! Сука блять! Иди на хуй! ПЕРУСУКА! "
"Wait a minute, what kinda Perusona is Perusuka? " Other Kamogangers watched [insert_protag_name_here] trollin' in Russian for over five minutes while punchin' more than 10 giant arse holes in ROCS Zhiqiang with his "Perusuka" until it was completely deformed, well, as a pedosexual (hakushin) ship.
Some times later; The flagship of the ROC Navy, ROCS Zhiqiang, had completely disappeared from the horizon, and the bridge between the cruise and the Antica has been built for the Kamogangers to return to their own ship. It's not actually sure how would the cruise's captain see these people, thank them for dealin' with ROC troubles, or blame them for causin' this trouble in the first place.
"Finally we are completely safe for now. No more Tainan or ROC or whatever bullshit, senpai. What will we do right now? Return to Berlin? "
"Not yet. Mitsuru Kirijo invited us to the Kirijo Group headquarters in Iwatodai City; She would perform upgrades for our ship weapons, and add some more Perusona related equipments. At least more Evokers; that basically means, you guys can use Perusona too! Of course the main weapon of this ship can still only be powered up by my Perusona. Set the course to Japan. "
"Wait a minute, the blue ray of light thing… It's railgun, right? "
"Yes, and it's Perusona-powered railgun, we called it Fegel-light. Since it used Perusona power, it's much more powerful and has much more velocity than current generation railguns used by major nations. It can literally punch a hole even in an aircraft carrier and after leavin' the target ship it can still be able to punch into another ship. That's why our ship is even smaller than that cruise and we can still totally wreck a destroyer. "
"And what kinda ship is Antica? Destroyer? Battleship? Cruiser? Or else? "
"We didn't classify ships like this, since this ship shows excellent destruction power and maneuverability never seen in modern day navy, we just call it Fegelship. "
"What kinda ship class is this. " Everyone laughed.
"In the meantime, since we gathered all the intelligence items in the previous operation, now it's time to do data minin' and find out more intel about the Conspiratio. This time we really pissed them off hard, it's no turnin' back now, for everyone on board. Either we completely destroy them or they completely destroy us. "
"We won't go anywhere else, senpai. You saved our asses anyway. Besides fightin' evil assholes with you is indeed fun. "
1.11 After Action Report (hakushin
ROC's flagship (albeit just a small ship in other nation's navy), ROCS Zhiqiang, was ambushed and sunk by an unknown forces today. The black box recorded last five minutes of the radio communications, of the enemy commander never stop sayin' Russian profanities, like "Сука блять" and "Иди на хуй". And some strange words like "ПЕРУСОНА" or "ПЕРУСУКА" are also frequently heard in the recordings, after these words were spoken, it can be heard that ROCS Zhiqiang was attacked by the unknown weapon again. It suggests that "ПЕРУСОНА" might be the fire command of the enemy vessel's weapon systems. The Kremlin denied involvement in the incident, as always.
Meanwhile, the so called "Tainanese Resistance Movement" has evolved into a riot across Tainan City; initially Shujin Academy PE Teacher Suguru Kamoshida's mansion was burned to the ground, then the other places. The police found a carbonated Kamoshida with a dildo still rapin' his arse, so we're not pretty sure the exact cause of death for Kamoshida, is he burned to death or euphoria-ed to death? And neinty-nein of his guests were also burned to death in the deformed mansion. It looks that they are all unable to move before these so called "Tainanfront" maniacs burned their mansion, the possibilities of illegal drug digestion exists. But since they're all burned into carbon, we can't do any autopsy anymore.
It's not pretty soon before a huge amount of data about Kamoshida was leaked by unknown people or ways; First off some Kamoshida haters tried their best to get some evidences of Kamoshida dopin' in Olympics and other events, reported his dead sorry arse to the IOC and got his medals revoked; then almost every pedophile of the world got a copy of Kamoshida's secret sex tape with high school students, that literally got Shujin Academy Tainan campus burned down and closed and caused Shujin Academy Group billions of yens of losses. Perhaps they shouldn't have hired a human scum like Suguru Kamoshida in the first place.
Meanwhile the real culprit behind this "Kamoshida incident" is still not found, perhaps the leader of the "Tainanfront" might know about it, too bad he's rumored to be burned to death when his followers found out he's actually 100% Japanese. And since then, no matter the so called "Tainanfront", or Suguru Kamoshida, or JOC, or Tainan's local authorities, or ROC's police departments, or even ROC's navy, congratulations, you're all becomin' international jokes today. And I finally finished writin' this damned chapter of my hakushin Perusona 5 fanfic, for futabruh's sake.
THE FUTABRUHIN' END