Suga stares the wall.
His pen has dropped from his fingers on the notebook filled with English and Japanese scribbles side by side, his eyes glassed and body slack. Hands shaking a little, he pauses the song going on repeat in the music player, unplugs his headphones and stands up, knees jelly and he stumbles out of his room.
“Mom, I’m going to Sawamura’s for a while!” he shouts from the door and his mother, her kind eyes filled with abashment, peeks from the kitchen.
“Right now? Can’t it wait ‘til tomorrow?”
“No, mom”, Suga says hurriedly while tugging his shoes on. “It’s - I need to see Daichi now, it’s important.”
Mrs. Sugawara frowns slightly.
“Oh, um, okay. You have finished your homework?”
“Yes, I have. I’ll be quick!” Koushi shouts from the door crack, already stepping outside and running to the darkening night.
His mother just stands and stares after his son. Could’ve at least closed the door.
Suga rings the doorbell, heaving slightly from the run. His heart is racing in his chest and it’s not only because of running.
Daichi’s mother opens the door.
“Oh Suga! What a surprise to see you here.”
“Evening, Sawamura-san! Is Daichi home?” Suga almost bites his tongue - of course Daichi is home, it’s 10 pm on a Thursday eve. Daichi’s mother smiles.
“Yes, he is. Come in, he’s in his room. Don’t stay too long though, it’s late.”
Then she opens the door wider and lets Koushi in to the warmth of the house. Koushi says his “sorry for the intrusion” and Daichi’s mother laughs, telling him to drop it already, as she has done every single time for two years. Suga grins and kicks his shoes off.
“I’ll be quick!”
Mrs. Sawamura just shakes her head and disappears to the living room.
Suga knocks and steps in Daichi’s room. Daichi, hunched over his homework on the table, hums something without even turning. Something tugs in Suga’s chest and he halts.
And the other turns, surprised, and a huge smile climbs on his (disgustingly, unfairly) handsome features.
“Suga!” Daichi laughs as he stands up and takes a step towards Suga. “What are you doing here? It’s like… Suga, it’s almost 10 o’clock, why are you here?” Confusion is written all over his face and he suddenly notices Suga’s disheveled state. “Did you run?”
Suga blushes and nods, shyly.
“I, uh… I needed to see you”, he mutters and doesn’t dare to look up to Daichi’s soft expression.
“Su- - Koushi. You could’ve called or something. I’m glad, I won’t deny it.” Daichi kisses his sweaty forehead. Suga swats his forearm.
"Stupid.” Daichi laughs.
They sit on Daichi’s bed and Daichi looks at him with that puzzled expression laced with worry.
“Is everything alright?”
"Mmh”, Suga nods. He chuckles. “It’s a bit silly, to be honest.” He reaches Daichi who intertwines their fingers together loosely. It’s warm, in the spaces between their fingers.
“There was this… song - no this is so sappy, don’t laugh - and it reminded me of you.”
“Of me, hm?” Daichi is making fun of him, that bastard.
“Oh stop it. Yes, of you, and now I’m here. So don’t make fun of me”, Suga concludes with the slightest of pout on his face. Daichi smiles, it’s like hasn’t stopped smiling since he saw Suga and the thought does funny things to Suga’s heart.
"Okay", Daichi says then. "Tell me."
Suga is, honestly, a bit dumbfounded.
“Tell you what?”
“What were you listening to?” Daichi looks way too pleased with himself and Suga kicks his shin lightly.
“Western”, Suga says then, grinning still. “I always listen to music in English when I study. Doesn’t distract me as much as Japanese.” Not this time, though, he does’t add but Daichi has probably come to the conclusion already, since he moves himself slightly closer to Suga, pulling their laced hands on his lap.
“I, uh…”, Suga cuts himself off and looks Daichi in the eye.
How should he say this? That he listened to a sappy love song and got so wound up around it thinking Daichi that it became unbearable to be physically separated from him? That the tiny peck Daichi gave on his forehead still tickles on his skin and he just can’t stop staring into his boyfriend’s eyes and just, overall, can’t get enough? That he actually ran almost in the middle of the night to Daichi’s house just to briefly see him before tomorrow started creeping into the emptiness of his own room?
"Suga. It’s fine, don’t sweat it", Daichi huffs then, raising his hand (that isn’t occupied holding Suga’s) to sweep Suga’s cheek briefly. "It’s really… It’s really nice to have you here, whatever the reason."
“No, it’s just that this is ridiculous”, Suga laughs and leans forward slightly. “Come here. I’ll tell you.”
And Daichi does. And Suga whispers to his ear.
He whispers, because it’s too embarrassing to say out loud and it’s maybe too early as well. Too early in this relationship that is just taking its first awkward steps but is determined to walk anyway. He whispers and cuts himself off, laughs, continues again, his lips briefly touching Daichi’s ear; how they have probably always belonged together, how their hearts march to the same beat; how everything happens for a reason, how one can be flawed enough to be perfect for another; and how this, whatever it is, love, affection, can guide them through whatever the future, the dark horizon in front of them has to offer.
How they’re searching for the same light and how some days are better than the others but there’s nothing to fear with him; and look, it’s them, it’s Daichi and Koushi, sitting side by side here in the small room with so little space in between their bodies and
and Daichi blushes bright red.
Daichi blushes and he is burning, burning, and Suga can feel the heat radiating from his skin. Speechless, Daichi is unable to meet Suga’s eyes and he apparently has to physically remove himself from Suga.
He falls on his side to the bed and buries his face to the pillow, cocooning into a ball of intense feelings.
“Suga… There’s no way my heart can take that all at once!” His voice is desperate and cracks slightly and that’s when it actually hits Suga that he got a tiny bit too excited there and he falls to the other end of the bed, mortified, hiding behind his hands.
"Noooo I went too far, Daichi, I’m sorry—"
“You did!” Daichi whimpers muffled to the pillow. “How am I supposed to let you go home after that?”
“I’m never going to look at you again, nooo…”
They quiet down for a while and finally get up enough to glance at each other and they burst into laughter.
“Terrible, Suga. You’re awful”, Daichi says out of breath and moves closer to his blushing boyfriend.
“I’m sorry, Daichi”, he giggles, actually giggles, and Daichi smiles.
“Stupid”, he says and leans in.
They kiss, soft and tender kiss overloaded with feeling, and that probably wouldn’t be it if their palms weren’t so sweaty and hearts beating so loud it was difficult to concentrate in anything. They part and stare in each other’s eyes for a while before there’s a knock on the door.
“Suga! Your mother called you to go back home.” Daichi’s father’s footsteps retreat from the door and slowly Daichi and Suga get up from the bed.
“I’ll walk you to the street”, Daichi says then.
“You don’t have to—”
Suga just nods and they make their way out.
"So", Daichi says when they’re outside, just in front of the Sawamura house. They’re facing each on the opposite sides of the entrance gate.
“So”, Suga repeats and smiles.
“That was a nice surprise, but warn me next time.”
Suga laughs and closes the space between them for a brief kiss.
“Yeah, sorry. I didn’t think this through, I guess.” He observes the boy in front of him, his soft, kind eyes and damn, he’s a goner for sure.
“You really didn’t and now I’m suffering to let you go, thanks for that.”
“I can come over tomorrow.”
“Don’t tempt me, my parents are home”, Daichi warns, scowling, half-serious, and Suga chuckles. Then his face softens to a smile. “But I’ll ask mom. It’s probably okay.”
“See you tomorrow.” Daichi steps back, as if to stop himself from restraining Suga.
Suga has already turned his back when suddenly Daichi says something.
“What?” he asks, glancing behind, and Daichi grins.
“I love you, okay?” he exclaims proudly. “You’re insane but still.”
“I love you too, idiot.”
And then he looks forward, strides on, with a huge smile blooming on his face.