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Hi, Larry!!! Which Kinks Are You Into?

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Calum: Welcome to our group chats, Larry!!!

Harry: Hiiiii

Louis: Harry, I love you to death, but you're way too perky for this.

Luke: Hello to you too, Harry!!!

Michael: You people are disgustingly too happy for my liking.

Calum: Chin up, buttercup.


Michael: Awe, Calum!!! How's Joy?

Calum: She's alright. Still going on about me getting a proper job.

Luke: Does she still hate you, Michael?

Michael: ...

Calum: She totally still hates Michael.
Harry: I feel you, man.

Louis: Harry, shut up. My mum loves you more than she loves her own children.

Michael: So she's seen a few things she shouldn't have seen. Oh well. It's been years ago. Move on, lady.

Ashton: You fucked her son right in front of her, of course she'll hate you.

Calum: It's her fault for not knocking.

Michael: She caught is at the worst possible time, too...

Louis: Which one of you was cumming.

Harry: !!!


Michael: It was Calum.

Calum: We were in a weird position, too... but can you blame us? No one should have to have vanilla sex.

Harry: I agree, Calum. You should text me a description of that position later. Louis and I could use a few new ideas.

Louis: Don't even worry about it. Sex with you will never be boring, Hazza.

Michael: You know Calum has seen Luke and Ashton in a pretty compromising position?

Calum: It's true! I have!

Ashton: I have no idea what you are talking about.

Luke: Nope. Not a clue.

Harry: You remember! It was that time Calum bumped into the crash cymbals of your drum kit!

Louis: And your shutter sound was still on when you snapped the picture!

Ashton: Mmph.

Luke: Rings a bell. Maybe.

Michael: Oh come on! How many times has Calum taken a picture of your little blindfolding kink?!

Luke: Don't tease us, Calum's the one that likes taking pictures of other people having sex!

Calum: That was one time! And for payback!!! You and Ashton did it first!!!

Louis: Psht. Little voyeurs.

Harry: I know right. They're almost as bad as Zayn and Liam.

Ashton: Says the two who fucked on my sofa right in front of me!!!

Louis: Look, I never claimed to be perfect.

Harry: Awe, but you are, baby.

Louis: Harry Styles, this is why I love you so.

Michael: This is why you people make me sick.

Calum: Awe, buttercup. I wish mum liked you so we could be cute together!!!

Michael: We're cute together anyway.

Ashton: You will never be as cute as me and my Lukey.

Louis: Bitch, we have a whole fandom dedicated to us!

Harry: There are blogs dedicated to your bum, my love.

Louis: There are also blogs dedicated to your dick size, darling.

Harry: But they'll never be as awesome as the blogs that have nothing but us-smut.

Michael: I've read some of them and I gotta say, these teenage girls know a lot about sex.

Ashton: Gay sex, no less.

Calum: You read Larry smut?

Luke: Uh oh. Ashton, grab the popcorn.

Michael: I came across it and I was bored. You know, that's how I discovered my Dom kink.

Harry: See, Louis? Our horny fans are helpful.

Louis: We have made such an impact on other people's lives. I feel so good now.

Harry: Not as good as when I'm inside you.

Louis: Harry you can't just say that when I'm with Eleabeard!!!

Calum: Like she doesn't know what you two get up to.

Harry: She gets annoyed by having to coax Louis back to reality.

Ashton: She probably doesn't want to see Louis' boner either. Isn't she a lesbian?

Louis: Bro, yes. She totally is.

Harry: She loves the v almost as much as I love Louis' d.

Calum: I think she loves the v as much as we ALL love the d.

Michael: Awe, Calum, you have such a way with words!

Luke: Yes. What a little Shakespeare.

Ashton: Lukey, Daddy's bored. You wanna have sex?

Luke: Bye bye, everyone!

Calum: Not a bad plan, actually. Michael?

Michael: Come to me, Princess. Sorry, Larry. Malum is out. Peace.

Harry: Thanks a lot, lads. I'll remember this.

Louis: Well then.

Harry: Please hurry up with your date, love. I need you.

Louis: Oh... Really? Now? God damn it, Haz, El is literally reading over my shoulder. Please don't send pictures. You remember what happened last time.

Harry: I have no reason to be ashamed, Lou!!!