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Window Art Has Never Been So Interesting

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Burgin had been in charge of the window art for the diner since he was hired. He’d always do the holidays like other places in the strip mall would, but he genuinely enjoyed doing it and so there was typically new art about twice a month. His was usually more fun than any of the other stores, but there was once where the owner of the liquor store had let Snafu do the holiday decorating. Never before had any of the other guys from the strip laughed as hard at something than when they laughed over the drunken snowmen that Snaf had come up with. It was painted over within the day to his annoyance, but it was one of the best that any of the guys had seen. 

To keep his designs fresh Burgin kept a box at the front by the register that people could drop ideas into. Snafu would occasionally flood the box with dirty ideas, and the other guys tended to do the same to a lesser degree while still adding legitimate ones. Most of the regulars would just suggest their favorite meals or an idea for the upcoming holiday. Snafu’s ideas ranged from a simple “dicks” to, on one memorable occasion, a copy of the Karma Sutra with Post-it flags scattered throughout it. Typically Burgie laughed and just tossed them out, but one day he decided that if he was creative enough he could probably hide a few dicks into the painting without most people noticing.

“Hey Snaf, how’ve ya been?”

“See ya didn’t use any of my suggestions again Burgie. Ya know that really hurts,” Snafu bitched back with a smile as he leaned against the counter Burgin stood at.

“Well, you’re wrong about that. Go take a look.” With that Snafu’s eyes went wide and he all but sprinted outside.

Burgin chuckled and headed out behind him.

“I don’t see a damn one of my suggestions,” Snafu snapped as his eyes darted around the window. If you weren’t looking too closely it simply looked like just paintings of breakfast foods with a few flourishes and the name of the diner. To those who knew to look, they could see that the bacon and eggs were arranged strategically to look phallic but still innocent enough, and the butter of the pancakes was vaguely melting down in a similar shape.

“Well see, look here,” Burgin gestured to the first plate, “and here,” and to the second.

Snafu looked gobsmacked for a second, a new look for him as not much seemed to surprise him, and then the dam broke and he doubled over laughing.

“I… I can’t believe… I can’t believe you actually did it,” he choked out between laughs, “I gotta… I gotta tell everybody,” and once he regained enough of his composure he ran to do just that, going from store to store to tell their friends that good ol’ Burgin painted dicks on the diner windows just for him.