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“Angel of The Mourning”

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They all walked away from him in the end. That was of course after taking a big chunk of his soul with them. It was after that bitch of a baby-sitter that he’d become a victim. And with every single partner since then he’d been stuck in that mindset, that personal and very sexual rut. Some days it had felt like he had a big neon sign above him saying, “Hurt me.” Stamped on his forehead and intertwined into the very essence of his soul and heart was one word that till this very day haunted him “Victim.”

He’d been stuck like that, in perpetual slow mo for the last 3 decades. Then Greg had walked into his life, first it was work, then friendship, and now after three years and eons of tears and pain it was love. He had never known it before and it was simply so sweet sometimes. It was as if it was in the very air he breathed. It was all Greg all the time. Not even his family or work mattered more to him.

Greg had held onto him through it all and vice versa. Through the kidnappings, knife fights, shoot outs and even the rape. Though that had almost destroyed the love they had for each other. It had brought up a whole set of repressed memories that Nick had fought for decades to hide from himself. Greg hadn’t known what hit him when he’d gotten the call from the hospital going into detail about Nick’s so-called catatonia. He honestly didn’t remember much after the initial burning tear and his own screams from the brutal rape by that bastard of an Under-sheriff let alone the aftermath.

It was only from Gil and Catherine that he’d learned any of that time. He’d been “away” for almost 6 months. As it was he was completely unable to work as a CSI or a cop now, he doubted he would ever work in law enforcement again. Physical and mental therapy took up most of his days. Nearly six months lying in bed certainly hadn’t helped him physically in any way. Mentally, it had helped him to just go on vacation for a while. Of course those left behind in his quest hadn’t been so lucky.

A week or so after he woke up Catherine had broke the news to him over Greg’s behavior in the last half year. Nick had been appalled for both their sakes. It had aided him in his determination to recover as soon as possible. It almost hadn’t been soon enough. Greg had been backed into a corner of drugs and depression. It had taken Nick and Greg incredible strength to both recover from the rape’s after effects. Their friends, family, and his beloved therapist had helped incredibly.

And now looking into the bright sunlight of the morning Nick had to shake away the tears of happiness and relief that had started. Like every lover before him, Greg had gotten up in the early Texan morning and walked away. But this time Nick knew he wasn’t leaving and taking his heart with him; Nick knew that Greg was just being Greg and getting his morning started. And he knew that by the faint kiss that Greg bestowed on his cheek every morning like the one the day before. Hopefully he’d be back soon and with coffee at that.

With a simple stretch Nick couldn’t help but reflect. The years before Greg had been tough, hell more likely. But now he had a stronger man by his side, he finally had a protector and lover all wrapped into one eccentric package. And lying in his childhood bedroom back home at the ranch Nick couldn’t lie, he’d never been happier.