The club is dark and seedy and fits just about every cliche of a sleazy gay bar one can conjure up. It’s official name is Desert Babylon, but most refer to it simply as the Gloryhole. No pretensions here.
Ryan isn’t always sure why he comes here, but on nights like this -- when his skin sits on his body like an ill-fitted suit, nights when he feels more and more like The Man Who Fell To Earth -- he’s drawn to this place and he doesn’t resist its pull.
The twitter hordes would be shocked but nobody ever seemed to recognize him. Nobody expected the makeup, the straightened hair anymore...The public thought him past all that. Oddly, it then became a sort of disguise. If anyone ever thought for a moment that maybe... they quickly wrote him off as just another wannabe scene kid, a hustler...Whatever he chose to be for the night. Sometimes it was nice just to be invisible.
This night, however, the universe had other plans for him. Ryan felt the familiar tingle....The one of being watched. He looked up across the bar and was suddenly staring right into a pair of familiar eyes...eyes whose gaze was dark and heavy with intent.
For a few moments Ryan was tempted to leave, just get up and flee like his life depended on it. But...damn it. This was his place. He found it first. He wasn’t doing anything wrong, and he wasn’t going to go with his tail between his legs like a naughty pup.
Ryan’s inner turmoil distracted him enough that he didn’t even see those eyes getting nearer, didn’t see him approaching. When a heavy hand curled around his shoulder Ryan forced himself not to jump in surprise, instead focusing on the voice in his ear.
“Hey beautiful.” His voice was so dark, intimate...So opposite the blaring club.
“Hey. W-what are you doing here...Dallon?” Ryan pushed his eyes to the bar in front of him. Maybe he’s just being polite, just an exchange of pleasantries and then he’ll be on his way. It’s fine. Just calm down.
“Looking for you.” Dallon’s body pressed tight up against Ryan’s, and he could easily feel the interest in his pants, resting in the curve of his hip. So much for pleasantries. “I’d like to buy a little of your time, if you wouldn’t mind?” Dallon’s mouth was so close to Ryan’s ear that Ryan could feel the shape of every syllable. He felt himself shivering from the moist breath, the sheer closeness.
“I don’t...I don’t...” Ryan’s brain blanked on him because...seriously? What? “Zack sets up those things for me . Y-you h-have to... you have to talk to Zack.”
“Except your pimp’s not here now, is he?” Dallon practically growled, hand squeezing much too tight.
Before he knew what was happening Ryan felt himself being dragged backwards, around a corner and into the bathroom. The crowd parted for them without so much as a blink, as if this sort of thing happened all the time. Ryan supposed that it did.
The bathroom door slammed behind them as Dallon shoved Ryan into the nearest empty stall -- the full ones letting out a cacophonous choir of moans that let him know just how not alone they were. He tried to turn around, to form some sort of protest, but Dallon just shoved again, harder, causing Ryan to straddle the toilet to keep from falling, and forcing his face to the wall.
Ryan heard him fumbling with his belt, opening his pants. Dallon didn’t speak -- maybe didn’t breathe -- when he slid his hands up Ryan’s thighs, tugging the fly of his trousers, pulling them. They would only go about halfway down before they were stopped by the toilet between his legs, but Dallon didn’t seem to mind.
In the next moment Dallon was pressed up against him, mouthing along his neck. He felt the brush of knuckles on his backside as Dallon started to line up his cock, and he couldn’t help the noise he made into the rough brick against his cheek as he began to probe for access. Ryan held his breath as Dallon’s hands spread his cheeks and braced himself for the pain he knew was coming as Dallon shoved in -- dry and without mercy.
The burn came all at once -- it always did -- and knocked the breath right out of him. He must have made some sort of noise of distress seeing as Dallon pulled out and spat. The slick saliva landed above his tailbone and oozed down into his crack messily, no doubt mixing with the light amount of nervous sweat that had built up there. Dallon rubbed the tip of his cock into the slime and drew it back down to his opening, forcing himself in again.
Ryan was driven up against the coarse wall by the force of Dallon’s thrusts, his hands grating on the brick. He tried to struggle, to cry out, but Dallon gave him no quarter, just fucked him silently and savagely. Ryan, used to Spencer’s moans and Brendon’s filthy invective, was nearly thrown by Dallon’s absolute silence. He felt it cutting, like he was somehow not worth the conversation, just something to be used, not even a person. He felt a flood of shame at the shudder that went through his body from that thought.Use me, yes, use me. Take me, make me, throw me away.
Dallon’s thrusts became erratic, and he finally broke his silence, with an animalistic grunt as his come coursed into Ryan. Ryan felt the heat flowing between his legs and fell apart, shooting his own release across the red bricks, without ever touching his cock.
The moment his orgasm was spent Ryan’s body began to shake uncontrollably. He tried to take a deep breath, to get a grip on himself and pull his pants up, but his hands were trembling, and it was all he could do to stay upright against the wall and not slide to the floor. Something splashed onto his hand and only then did he realize he was crying, tears running freely down his face.
Ryan felt a moment of absolute panic, but Dallon’s strong arms came around him and lifted him up. Dallon fell more or less onto the toilet and cradled Ryan into his arms, held him tight against his chest and murmured nonsense into his hair. “Shhhhh. Shhhhh, it’s ok. Let it out. I’ve got you. I’ve got you.”
After several minutes the tremors subsided and Ryan felt mostly mortified. He stood and adjusted his clothes awkwardly, looking anywhere but at Dallon’s face. Holy shit, what was wrong with him? Maybe he could still play it off as part of the game, but he honestly didn’t know how.
“Most john’s don’t stay for the nervous breakdown after you know.” Ryan strained to keep his voice to his usual dry monotone -- to force up a wall of indifference -- and was almost certain he’d succeeded, but then Dallon’s was lifting his chin and forcing him to look into his ridiculously sincere and concerned eyes.
“Hey, I’d say we’ve gone beyond the game now. Don’t you think?” His voice was soft and kind, and damn if Ryan didn’t feel like he could break down all over again.
Ryan nodded, not quite trusting his voice to words.
“Come on. Let’s go.”
It was interesting how not even a mildly curious glance was shot towards his no doubt tear stained face, but he forced himself shakily out the bathroom door. He started to point himself toward the bar, hoping a shot of something strong would help him pull himself together enough to get home. Maybe there he could implode in peace. But he only made it four...five steps and Dallon’s arm was around him, steering him to the exit. “I think you’ve had enough of the nightlife for now, yeah?”
It crossed Ryan’s mind to object -- Please. Just let me go crawl in a hole somewhere and die now, okay? Thanks. -- but he just didn’t have the energy. Instead he let himself be guided out by Dallon’s steady hand and down the street.
Ryan winced at the pain in his ass as the numbness wore off and accidentally missed a step, stumbling on the concrete. He looked up for the inevitable joke, the laughter, like Brendon always provided but it didn’t come. Dallon just ducked under his arm and put a hand around his waist, taking some of his weight and no doubt making them look like drunken lovers staggering home from the bar. Too bad the fangirls with camera phones missed it “Here. It’s just a bit further...that building. There.” His free hand pointed to a small brownstone just across the next intersection.
Dallon led Ryan into a small apartment on the first floor and sat him down on a shabby but clean and comfortable couch. “It’s my friend Mike’s place. Not much, but then he’s hardly ever here anyway -- either at his girlfriend’s place or out photographing the world.” As he spoke, Dallon walked into the kitchen and rattled around. “I’ve got my own key. I check up on the place, bring in the mail, make it look not abandoned, and in return I have a place to be alone when the world is a bit much.”
Dallon returned and pressed a cold glass into Ryan’s hand. Ryan sipped and savored the sweet bite and warm burn of rum and Coke. “Sounds fair.” Ryan nursed his drink as Dallon sat next to him and threw back his own in one...two gulps. That was just a head rush waiting to happen.
He watched on as Dallon sat his empty glass down, turning towards him. “Listen. I…I want to apologize for...for earlier..for...” He paused, hand waving uselessly in the air. “I’m sorry I got so...Uh....carried away.”
“Hmmm. What?” Ryan was still feeling displaced, stoned, shaky. It took a moment for him to catch on. “What are you...? You don’t have anything to apologize for. If anything I sho...”
“Ryan.” Dallon’s voice was quiet but stern -- like Zack’s “handler” voice when he had to talk to a sugar high Brendon. “I just practically raped you in a public bathroom. I forced you and I...I didn’t mean to really hurt you, but it’s pretty obvious I did, and I know I can’t take it back but...”
Ryan rolled his eyes, still not feeling quite caught up but knowing Dallon was getting it all wrong. “No. You didn’t rape me. Oh my god. You can’t...Well, you can’t rape the willing. I’m pretty sure I was on board the whole time -- or did you not notice how I spray painted the wall without a hand on my dick?!”
“Oh. OH. Well...” Dallon looked lost. “But you..you...I made you cry.”
Ryan sighed. “That was not about sex. It was...not the physical aspect anyway. That may well be the best fuck I’ve had in years.”
“Then what? What was it?” Damn him for sounding so genuine and concerned.
“I-I’m not really sure. It was... a lot of things. It just...it all …hit me... at once.” Ryan stared at Dallon’s hands in his lap, anything to keep form looking him in the eye. He was struck by how like his own they were, fingers long and supple, strong and callused from hours of playing. He had an irrational urge to touch them -- to see how they would fit in the curve of his own. “It was so intense, and I haven’t been that open, that...vulnerable for a long time. Especially without...without...”
“Without your boys to cover you.” Dallon sounded stricken. “You weren’t in a safe space.”
“Yeah, that’s...” Ryan looked up. “Yeah.”
“Then I do owe you an apology.”
“No you don’t.”
“No. I do. I know you don’t know me very well, but I know better than to go into a scene like that -- Breezy would kill me. I shouldn’t have done that. I just...just had in my head that...”
“That I’m a nasty whore who takes it?” Ryan’s smirk didn’t quite reach his eyes. “Yeah. I know. I remember where I was the last time you saw me. I suppose I deserve that.”
“What ? No!” Dallon seemed horrified, but then his eyes softened around the edges like he was lost in a memory for a moment. “That’s not... I didn’t follow you to fuck with your head, to degrade you or some shit. I just...”
“Wait. You followed me?” What the fuck?
“Yeah.” Dallon looked up at him, sheepish and...blushing? Really. What. The. Fuck. “I saw you walk by and head for the bar, and I just...I just wanted. Dammit. I wanted you so bad.”
“You wanted me.” Ryan’s voice was flat...flatter. Whatever. He still didn’t know quite where his head was at. “Wanted a repeat of last week’s show, huh?”
“God. You don’t even know. You’ve been just about all I could think about since then. I don’t usually get obsessed this easily. It’s crazy, right?” Dallon shrugged and ran a hand through his hair distractedly. “I should have been grateful for what I got, maybe had a few fantastic jerk-off sessions and..and let it go but...there you were. And I got greedy and I didn’t think. I’m sorry.”
“Well you got me.” Ryan snorted. “Be careful what you wish for. I’m guessing you’ve gotten enough now....”
“Are you kidding me?” Dallon was suddenly on the floor, knee-walking up in between Ryan’s legs until they were face to face. “I think...I think you’re like opium.” Dallon’s eyes were focused on Ryan’s mouth, and Ryan knew what was coming but it still took him by surprise. The kiss was gentle, teasing, coaxing and sent electric chills racing down his spine. “Every taste I get makes me crave more.”
“Yeah that’s me.” Ryan spoke breathlessly. “I’m like a bad fucking habit. Must be from all the ones I have.”
“A definite addiction.” Dallon nodded though for what reason he didn’t know. “You know we tried to play the game without you?”
Ryan looked up, a little shocked. “You...what?”
“Yes. I tried to play your role for them. When they told me about it I was...God, it sounded so hot. I wanted to try to be that more than anything. I could totally get off on playing that for them -- and I did. But for them? It didn’t quite...work, I guess?”
“What do you mean ‘didn’t work’?” Ryan supposed Dallon just wasn’t as depraved as he was.
“It just wasn’t right. I mean, don’t get me wrong. It was fun. But it wasn’t as satisfying, um...to them. They still had the itch under their skin -- at least Brendon and Spencer did. I could tell.” Dallon looked at Ryan with sad eyes. “I asked Brendon about it once when we fooled around. I figured I was just too different from you, but he said no. He said there were things about me that were so much like you that...that it kept reminding him that it wasn’t .”
“Oh.” Ryan honestly didn’t know what to say to that.
Dallon leaned back into Ryan’s space and began to nuzzle along his throat. “Face it. You’re kinda irreplaceable Ross. Just...irreplaceable... and kinda irresistible...” Dallon’s mouth sent shivers of delight straight to Ryan’s still sensitive cock, making him gasp. Dallon must have felt the interest because he leaned back and gave Ryan a look of dark intent -- similar to the one at the bar. Ryan was slowly beginning to recognize it as arousal, too.
“Oh shit. Dallon I...” Ryan started to panic a little. “I don’t think I can…too soon.”
“Mm? I know, you’re pretty sore huh?” Dallon smirked. “I do know how to be gentle.” He continued his tongue’s assault on Ryan’s neck, marking him.
“No. It’s...” Ryan pushed Dallon back so he would pay attention. “It’s not that... the pain...pain I can work with but...it’s the headspace. I don’t think I can get into the game right now.”
“Oh -- is that all?” Dallon’s grin was feral. “I don’t want the game Ryan Ross. I want you. I want to touch you and taste you and see how many different noises you’ll make for me.” Ryan shivered. “And then...then I want you inside of me.”
“You want..What?” Ryan’s voice was high and strained.
“Yes.” Ryan watched Dallon’s eyes bleed to black as he murmured, “I want you to fuck me.”
Dallon stood up and began to undress -- he eyes never leaving Ryan’s. He wasn’t even trying to be sexy about it, just slowly and steadily pulling everything off, but Ryan felt his heart race nonetheless. It was suddenly stifling hot in the room so Ryan stood and followed Dallon’s lead, undressing and slowly walking forward as Dallon backed down a hallway. Their eyes stayed locked until Ryan broke the gaze to find himself standing naked in a bedroom, watching Dallon sprawl, just as naked, on the bed before him.
Ryan took a moment to look. Just...look. To take in all the long lines and planes of him -- the strength coiled just under his skin. Dallon wasn’t girl pretty like Ryan -- although with the right makeup... -- but, god, he was a beautiful man.
“So.” Ryan crawled up the bed until he was hovering over Dallon. “Your friend doesn’t mind you having sex in his bed?”
“He’ll get over it. Plus, I know how to do laundry.” Dallon chuckled and surged up to meet Ryan in a kiss. Ryan relaxed into it and let himself press down, covering every inch of Dallon’s skin -- melding them together. His cock lined up deliciously with Dallon’s own, and he couldn’t help but whimper a little as Dallon rocked up against him. It felt like Dallon’s hands were everywhere -- touching, stroking, teasing. More or less driving him completely out of his mind.
”There’s lube...on the...the...over there...” Dallon stuttered in between kisses along Ryan’s jaw...his throat...the overly sensitive niche above his collarbone. Ryan followed his gestures to a tube of KY on the nightstand. As he reached over to grab it Dallon latched onto his nipple and Ryan moaned with pleasure, nearly dropping the bottle. Dallon glanced up with dark eyes and bit, and Ryan arched into the sensation causing their cocks to grind together harder.
Ryan knew he could come from just this if they kept going -- all the touching, the overbearing kisses, from how unbelievably beautiful Dallon was beneath him. He pulled Dallon back up to meld their mouths back together, working the lube open with one hand. A squirt from the tube, and then he slid his hand down between Dallon’s legs, leaving a smear of wet as he found the tight opening he was looking for and began to probe.
Dallon gasped when his finger found it’s mark and slid in. He pushed in to the first knuckle and then fucked it in and out as Dallon kissed him and pushed back onto his hand. In went a second finger, and Dallon moaned louder into his mouth. He slid them deeper, deeper, right up to the second knuckle and curled them, dragging them back out teasingly and pushing in...out...in...out.
Dallon broke away from his mouth panting. “Ohgod. I knew your fingers would be perfect.Ohgod.”
Dallon’s hips were thrusting back in search for more. “Please, Ryan...please. I want you. Now, please.” Ryan didn’t see any condoms on the nightstand, but then they hadn’t really been playing it safe so far, had they? He squeezed out a little more lube and coated his cock with it quickly then lined up, pushing himself in with only a minimum amount of resistance.
Dallon’s hips came up off the bed and he cried out as Ryan sank all the way in maybe a little too fast. It was a tighthot fit, and Ryan could feel Dallon’s muscles constricting all around him. He held himself still when he saw Dallon’s grimace of pain, trying to give him time to adjust. “You okay?”
“Yeah. Yeah. It’s just...” Dallon’s voice was strained, his breathing heavy. “You’re a little more to take than I’m used to. Just...give me a second.”
Ryan reached down to where Dallon’s hand lay on the bed. He grabbed it, lacing the long fingers with his own. It fit just like he’d thought it would -- perfect in the curve of his own. He gave it a slow squeeze and held on as he started to move again, fucking Dallon with long, slow strokes. Watching Dallon’s face, he saw the moment it stopped being uncomfortable, the moment it melted into pleasure. Dallon’s eyes were fully blown, and he surged up to meet each stroke, urging Ryan on faster and faster. Ryan felt himself so close to the edge, and he couldn’t resist murmuring everything on the tip of his tongue. “So hot. Fuck, you’re so hot. I’m gonna come....gonna...Fuck, fill you up so full. Unngh.”
His words must have been the push that Dallon needed. Ryan felt him clench and squeeze around his cock and felt the hot, wet splash of Dallon’s come across his belly, and he threw his head back and lost himself in his own climax, shaking and coming apart.
Ryan didn’t remember falling asleep, but he must have seeing as the next thing he knew he was waking up next to Dallon...who was totally watching him sleep. “Sorry,” Dallon said sheepishly, “You looked so peaceful. I didn’t want to wake you.”
“After following me to the bar I doubt it could get any creepier. You’re good,” Ryan murmured, rubbing at his eye. “I hope I didn’t do anything too stupid.”
“No just....” Dallon bit his lip and shifted to lay his hand on Ryan’s cheek, fingertips curving over the bone. “It’s pretty impressive....I guess. How perfect you are. I...” Ryan’s eyes strained to see through the low morning light filtering in through the blinds, trying to figure out what Dallon was trying to say.
“What? What is it?” Ryan asked nervously. “Is it...Was it because....Was it not good....Because....Should I --” Dallon slid a few fingers over his lips, stilling them, pushing their foreheads together.
“No. Fuck.. Ryan.....just you. It’s all I need.........all they need. We maybe.” Ryan pushed Dallon’s arms away irritably and rolled over on his back, scoffing at the thought that Dallon might be right.
It seemed Dallon was intent on finishing what he started though. “No. Ryan. Listen to me. You don’t have to be that,.....You never did.” Ryan huffed and rolled over to try and escape Dallon’s stupid earnest expression and even stupider voice -- soft and understanding. “You don’t.....Ryan. Last night.....That was.....It was just as amazing as you were when you’re all trapped away in here.” Ryan let his eyes shut as Dallon dragged a thumb across his temple. “Everything you give to us is amazing. All of it.”
Ryan tried to shift away when Dallon pulled him back into his chest, but he couldn’t help but hear the content noise Dallon made at the contact, how his heart slowed, the curve of his smile into his neck. “You don’t...You’ve known me for, like...A week. You wouldn’t --”
“I don’t need to. I already know.” Ryan shut his eyes and suppressed the shudder right under his skin, biting his lip. “I hope soon you know, too.”
Ryan had his doubts but maybe. Just maybe.