Work Text:
Saturday, February 15th, 2031, 11.25 PM
It’s been a while since I texted you, huh?
I don’t suppose you expected me to.
I would’ve kept texting you, you know, I just
I needed a while okay
Just to
You knwo
know*
Get used to the thought.
Anyway, I just wanted to tell you it still sucks.
It’s been eight months but it still sucks.
Blaine asked me to come visit you with him
I know he’s planning to come tomorrow
He doesn’t wanna wait for your anniversary, you know
Says it’s not like he’s gonna miss you less or it’s gonna be easier then
(I can relate)
So he says we should just come any day.
But I’m not sure.
I mean I kinda don’t want to
I know I would cry and I would miss you
And I really don’t want to
What would be the point?
… I dunno, do you feel alone? Wherever you are?
Do you want me to come see you?
Would you feel me there, taking care of the flowers, cleaning the tombstone?
Would it even matter, me coming there…
Jesus Christ
Monday, February 17th, 2031, 4.32 PM
I went back to school today.
Didn’t want to, obviously
Blaine forced me
Told me I have to start getting back to my life
What fucking life
Tuesday, May 13th, 2031, 5.25 PM
I quit school today.
Sorry, I know it’s been a couple months
You used to get angry at me when I disappeared for more than two days but I guess you can’t complain now, can you, yoiu’re fukinf dead
Tuesday, May 13th, 2031, 7.45 PM
Sorry, I didn’t wanna get angry.
I just wanted to tell you I quit school because I can’t bear to go right now.
I think I’m gonna go back to it at some point
Just not right now I guess?
I fought with mom about it, obviosuly
*obviously
She doesn’t understand.
She told me today I shouldn’t waste my future on grief
Like I even care about my fucking future at this point
Wednesday, May 21st, 2031, 8.03 AM
Listen I just wanna tell you that I was thinking about you and you were so fucking handsome and I loved your hair even if I never told you, I’m sorry I never told you and I mocked you when you wore a man bun, truth is I fucking loved it when you wore a man bun you looked so fucking hot and I can’t stop thinking bout that time I got home and you were on the couch reading some Russian novel I don’t even remember the title of and I threw it away and just sat on you and started riding you and I was pulling at your hair so hard and you said harder harder and I too was saying harder harder and oh my God
Wednesday, May 21st, 2031, 9.41 AM
I lied. I remember the title of the novel.
I keep your copy of Anna Karenina on my nightstand now.
I keep everything.
I remember everything.
Thursday, June 5th, 2031, 3.14 PM
I wanted to come today, I swear. Blaine and I had all planned, we had to meet at his house and then drive to the graveyard together.
But I couldn’t. I just disappeared. I turned off my phone. I got him to worry and I had to apologize for half an hour afterwards.
God I’m a mess
Monday, June 9th, 2031, 11.16 AM
I was thinking about you last night.
No I didn’t jerk off this time.
No, I was just thinking about the fact that I’m grateful I met you at all. Even though life sucks now, I wouldn’t change it with a life of not knowing you just because it would hurt less.
Some pains are worth suffering through.
Tuesday, June 10th, 2031, 8.11 PM
I can’t stop crying today, it’s ridiculous.
Wednesday, June 11th, 2031, 5.21 PM
Listen, I was thinking
Wait a second before you go on
I’m so sorry I have to say something
It’s been going on much too long I’m so embarrassed ffs
Who the fuck are you
I’m so fgucking sorry reallt
I don’t even know what to say
Name’s Adam
I don’t know how the fuck this happened but I got a new phone number a few months ago and Jesus I don’t know how to tell you
Where did you fucking get this number
Who the fuck are you even oh my God
I’M SO SORRY OH JESUS
Really I’m so sorry I don’t know why they gave me this number, I didn’t choose it or anything
My best friend messed around with my phone and got me on some fucking pay-per-text subscription and I couldn’t get rid of it and my mom got super angry and she made the phone company block my number and then get me a new one
Suppose it belonged to a person you knew
How long have you been reading my texts
I’m so sorry
A little while
A few months
And you never thought you had to tell me earlier
What are you even
Did you get off on this?!
NO OH GOD
I’m so sorry really I don’t know what to say
It’s just you seemed so sad and you were saying very intimate things
ALL THE MORE REASONS TO TELL ME
YOU SHOULD’VE TOLD ME
JESUS
I’M SO SORRY
God I’m so ashamed
I don’t know why I didn’t say anything
COS YOU’RE A FUCKING PERVERT
I SWEAR NO
I just wanted to let you do your thing
Figured you’d eventually stop
Really I don’t know what to say
I’m mortified
I don’t even know your name
The fuck I’m gonna tell you
I’m so freaking sorry
Jesus
If you want me to delete your number I’ll do it
IF I WANT YOU TO
JESUS FUCKING CHRIST
JUST
FUCK YOU
Thursday, June 12th, 2031, 7.33 AM
Listen I know I told you I would delete your number
I haven’t done it yet as you can see
I just reread the whole conversation from the start
I mean since I started receiving your texts
I just wanted to tell you I’m really sorry
I don’t know you at all but
I never wanted to hurt you in any way of course
I just wanted you to know that I’m sorry
I mean for reading but also for your loss
I think this person you lost you loved him very much
I’m sorry you had to lose him
I wish I could say something better but
I know this is no use
I just wanted to say it
I think you wrote very beautiful and sad things
I think he’d have been happy to read them
I think he’d be happy if you visited him sometimes
I think he’d want you to go back to school
I think he’d tell you you still have a life and future
I dunno
I just wanted to say that
FUCK
YOU
CRAZY
ASSHOLE
Thursday, June 12th, 2031, 2.54 PM
Leo
Leo
Answer me
Gimme a mint
Minute
Thursday, June 12th, 2031, 3.28 PM
It’s been half an hour
Leo
LEO
ANSWER ME
JESUS CHRIST WHAT HAPPENED
WHERE WERE YOU
WITH CODY!
Jesus
What’s going on
I just fucked up
Royally
Majestically
It’s not like you to use such adverbs.
What did you do?
Okay so a few months ago remember you fucked up my number and got me on that pay-per-text service for game cheats remember
Yeah
Okay so I changed my number after that remember
Yeah
Okay so after I got my new number I started getting these strange texts from this guy
And he was like writing texts to his dead lover or something
WTF?
Yeah I know I probably got the man’s number after it got disconnected
I don’t even know
Anyway he kept texting me thinking he was texting a dead number you know
WTF????
Yeah and I never said anything cos I was embarrassed you know he kept saying very private things
Beautiful things but very sad you know
Like things you’d say silently visiting a grave or something
Adam I’m shocked
Yeah I know but at some point he started texting like every day and I had to stop him because I knew sooner or later I had to do it
So I told him I was so sorry and so on but
He got so freaking angry
NO SHIT ADAM
I DIDN’T KNOW WHAT ELSE TO DO DUDE
He seemed so broken
I thought he’d stop at some point but he just kept going
I had to tell him something
YOU HAD TO TELL HIM SOMETHING RIGHT AWAY
OK I DIDN’T OK SUE ME
I’m calling you
No
DON’T
Leo is calling you…
DO NOT
LEO
Leo is calling you…
ffs
I can’t answer
My mom doesn’t want me to speak with you again yet
I love your mom but she’s crazy
Dude you costed her 400 bucks give her a break
Ok but we need to talk about what you did cos you are crazy
Did you try to call this guy or
No he wanted me to delete his number
Understandable
But I didn’t
Dude
I reread the whole thing and I was so moved by his words I had to tell him something
So I told him I was sorry for his loss and that I was sure this man he lost would’ve been glad to read his texts and surely wanted him to be happy
DUDE
I thought he’d appreciate it
ARE YOU EVEN SERIOUS
I didn’t know what else to do
ANYTHING ELSE
Like
DELETE HIS NUMBER
LIKE HE ASKED
For example
Listen if you don’t wanna be supportive fuck you
Dude
Whatever pretend I didn’t say shit
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Thursday, June 12th, 2031, 6.51 PM
Did you disconnect Alan’s number
Blaine is calling you…
Jesse, love. Please, answer the phone.
No
Did you disconnect it
Love, I didn’t. Virginia did.
Fucking bitch
Love. Please. Don’t.
I’m gonna rip her heart out
Fucking bitch SHE HAD NO RIGHT
She had all the rights, love.
She kept paying the bills for a while, but it was a waste. You know that like I do.
SHUT UP
I TEXTED HIM
I WAS TEXTING HIM
AND SOME FUCKING ASSHOLE GOT HIS NUMBER
HE GOT ALL MY TEXTS AND READ THEM
What? Love, what are you talking about?
I DON’T EVEN KNOW WHO THE FUCK HE IS
HE READ EVERYTHING
Love, please, can I call you?
NO YOU FUCKING CAN’T
Friday, June 13th, 2031, 00.14 AM
I talked to him, Blaine
I used the fucking number to speak to him
Even though he didn’t answer
It was important
It made me feel like we were still connected
Somehow
In any way
And now it’s gone
Replaced by whoever the fuck
He read everything I wrote to Alan
Everything
And npow that I know the number isn’t active anymore I can’t use it any longer
There’s nothing left
I can’t even tell him I miss him
That I still love him
I lost him forever now.
Friday, June 13th, 2031, 6.30 AM
Blaine is calling you…
Blaine is calling you…
Blaine is calling you…
Love, the phone number is inconsequential.
We need to talk. I’ll call you again around lunch time. Please, answer the phone, this time.
Virginia is deeply sorry. She didn’t know you still used the number to text.
She wants to meet you. Let’s go have dinner with her this weekend. Let’s go together. We all need to be together again like we were when he was still alive.
But he isn’t anymore.
And I don’t wanna see either of you.
Friday, June 13th, 2031, 1.15 PM
Blaine is calling you…
Friday, June 13th, 2031, 3.12 PM
I’m sorry.
I’m a mess.
Please forgive me.
I didn’t wanna be so mean, I’m just a fucking mess.
Can we meet?
I’ll be at your place in thirty minutes.
Saturday, June 14th, 2031, 10.51 AM
Hi it’s Adam again
Oh my God
I’m sorry I just needed to talk with you
I can’t fucking believe it
I don’t like how we left things off last time
ARE YOU COMPLETELY MAD OR WHAT
Can you please not scream at me
I’m trying to apologize
I know I did something really bad
I’m sorry
I DON’T GIVE A FUCK
No listen
I SWEAR IF YOU DON’T STOP TEXTING ME RIGHT NOW I’M GONNA REPORT YOU TO THE POLICE
Saturday, June 14th, 2031, 11.36 AM
You know what, I can’t believe your fucking NERVE.
I just.
Every time I think about it my brain just explodes, like, and the fact that you keep trying to reach out for me is SO UNBELIEVABLE.
Why do you even insist?!
I guess I’m sorry and I want you to know
WHY DO YOU CARE
Saturday, June 14th, 2031, 2.45 PM
While I was reading your texts I felt like I was watching a heart break into a million pieces
Chip after chip
I guess maybe I was touched by your pain
And I thought I wanted to stop it
Somehow
But I realize now I can’t
I’m sorry for bothering you
I will never text you again
I hope you can smile again at some point
I bet you’re at your prettiest when you smile
Saturday, June 14th, 2031, 2.59 PM
Leo I just told that guy he’s pretty
Does that make me gay
WTFFFFFFFFFFFF
Leo is calling you…
Thursday, June 26th, 2031, 4.02 PM
How do you even know?
Excuse me what
You told me you bet I’m at my prettiest when I smile
How do you know?
You’ve never seen me
Smiling or otherwise
That’s why it’s called a bet
I don’t know
I bet
This makes no fucking sense.
Why would you even wanna say a thing like that to a person you’ve never met?
I can’t understand your point in all of this.
You keep trying to tell me nice things after you’ve done such a despicable thing and I don’t understand why.
I’m trying to apologize
It’s called an apology cos you do something bad and then you try to say you’re sorry about it
Don’t you know
I do, it just makes no sense.
You don’t know me, so why do you even care about apologizing to me? What do you care if you hurt me or anything?
You don’t care about it when you hurt people
Not if I don’t know them.
I mean, how do I even know I hurt someone if I never met them?
You made sure I knew
Oh, sorry if I wounded your poor tender heart.
That’s not what I meant
Christ you’re intense
You bet I am. I’m the most fucking intense person you will ever meet. My intensity has an intensity of its own. I just lost the love of my life and a pervert’s been spying my texts non stop for the last four months. You tend to become intense when this shit happens to you.
I’m not saying you don’t have your reasons
Just gimme a break
I know I made a mistake
I’m sorry about it
You keep saying that, but it doesn’t ring true.
You kept my number, you kept texting me.
I told you not to and you just kept going!
… yeah I know
So?
So what
So, are you gonna delete my number and stop texting me weird shit?!
No I don’t think so
I can’t fucking believe it
At this point it’s too late
Now I know you
You don’t know me
And even if you did, then un-know me!
I don’t know how to do that
It’s easy! Forget about me
And if I can’t
PRETEND
So you should do it too
… Excuse me?
About your boyfriend
He’s gone, isn’t he
So forget him
And if you can’t
Pretend
Thursday, June 26th, 2031, 6.41 PM
That was too soon wasn’t it
Stuff your mouth with your own shit and then choke on it
Ok I get it
I’ll text again tomorrow
Thursday, June 26th, 2031, 6.45 PM
I think I wanna meet the guy
Who?
No.
Dude you can’t be serious.
Why not
Adam you lost your mind
Who is this guy even?!
I dunno that’s why I wanna meet him
But where is this coming from???
Wait, have you been talking to him?
Yeah now and then
To say what?!
He insulted me mostly
So naturally you wanna meet him.
Makes perfect sense.
I’m curious
What’s there to be curious about? Jesus Adam
You got his dead boyfriend’s number by mistake
You read his private texts without permission
Then you kept harassing him
He was very clear about not wanting to have anything to do with you!
I love you, dude, you’re my best friend, but you’re running headfirst into a restrictive order
But what’s wrong about wanting to meet him
Jesus
No I don’t get it
Yeah sure we didn’t come across one another in the best of circumstances
But now it’s done
He asked me to un-know him
How do you even do that
I don’t even
Adam
speechless.gif
Friday, June 27th, 2031, 3.36 PM
So how are you today
Oh my God you really texted again
I said I would didn’t I
Yeah but don’t you GET that I don’t wanna talk to you?
No I got it
I just don’t care
WHAT
You’re unreasonable
You want me to do impossible things
STOP TALKING TO ME IS IMPOSSIBLE?
Yeah
Friday, June 27th, 2031, 3.49 PM
I don’t know what to do.
Love?
Remember I told you about that guy?
He got Alan’s number and read all the texts I sent him
Ah, right. Adam. I remember. What happened?
He keeps texting me.
Like, he doesn’t wanna let it go.
Is he harassing you, love?
We can call the police in no time.
Is he bullying you?
No… wait…
I mean, he’s not
I mean, he IS bothering me, okay
He texts and asks me how I feel and
Actually I just realized I have no idea what our conversations are about, he just texts me out of nowhere or I text him, that happened too
You texted him yourself?
Yeah, once, to insult him.
Alright, that doesn’t qualify as texting him. You just told him to get lost, I presume?
Yeah but then we kept talking.
I mean, I don’t know. I don’t understand what he wants from me!
Did you ask him?
Yeah, but he’s as eloquent as a comatose chihuahua.
Can’t express a thought for his life.
Are you sure you don’t want to call the police, love?
Yeah… I’m sure.
I don’t want this to become bigger than it is.
It’s just… sometimes he says things that really get on my nerves.
Like I should go back to living my life, or that I should forget about Alan, or that he’d be happy to know I moved on (what the fuck does he even know???)
Then he tries to apologize and fails spectacularly
And then all of a sudden he says the most ridiculous things
Was him someone I know I’d even say adorable things
Like that I write beautiful things
Or that it’s impossible to stop talking to me
Or that I’m cute when I smile
… love, are you sure you never met this guy?
Yeah, why?
I’m calling the police.
No, come on!
Saturday, June 28th, 2031, 11.07 AM
Hey.
Uh
Hi
Wasn’t expecting you to text me first
Surprise
Listen, I’ve got a question
And I would like for you to try your best
And answer in a way that makes sense
And that doesn’t wanna make me report you to the police
Are you thinking about it
It’s been on the table as an option for the past few hours
Also would it kill you to use question marks every now and then?
Punctuation is pointless in texts
Jesus
I can’t believe I’m still talking to you.
Anyway
My question is:
What is the reason why you keep texting me?
Like, put the bullshit aside, apologizing and all.
Don’t care about that.
‘Cause you apologized
You know what, I accept your apology, so consider that done
So, this put aside, why?
Why do you just keep going?
What do you want?
Just answer honestly and clearly, please.
I’m listening.
Ok
So
Thing is I don’t know you
And I’ve never seen you
But I kinda like you
Seriously
Yeah no shit
Believe me I’ve been told I’m an idiot about this already
By myself and others
But it is what it is
You touched me with your words
I felt sorry for you
And that was the beginning
Then we started fighting
And you’re fucking challenging
And you’re a lot
But you also seem like a person with a whole world inside
And interesting guy
And idk
I’m interested I guess.
…
Okay, so you used a period there, so I guess this must be serious.
Kinda
Okay.
concern.gif
inhaleexhale.gif
Okay. So what do you propose we do?
Saturday, June 28th, 2031, 12.37 AM
Lwo
Lo
Leo
Wtf
Can’t even write my name properly anymore?
What’s going on?
I’m meeting the guy
Name’s Jesse
What
We’re meeting for lunch at Breadsticks
What do I wear
WHAT
He sent me a picture to recognize him he’s fucking gorgeous like
He looks like the girl with the pearl earring
But as a boy
And with hair of course
WHAT???????????
Adam
So yeah
I wanna impress him
So tell me how to dress
The football team’s jacket would be too obvious wouldn’t it
Actually I’m not even sure one like him would care about that so no
I need something else
Adam, you’re crazy.
No I’m not
Okay
I really am not
I like this dude
For whatever reason
I wanna meet him
And you’re not stopping me okay
I’m gonna carpe the fuck out of this diem
And I’m meeting him for lunch
And that’s final
So either you help me choose what to wear
Or I’ll just wear random clothes and hope for the best
What’s it gonna be
Leo is calling you…