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Dimension Traveling for the Ill Prepared

Chapter Text

Dimension hopping for the ill-prepared

CH 1: a walk in the park

I don’t think I will ever forget the day I met the 4 people who changed my life forever. Indeed, I know I won’t.
It was a normal summer day in late June, hot, humid, and sweltering. I of course loved it.
Living in Montana I took every chance I could to soak up as much of the sun’s rays as I possibly could before winter set in. Winters here in Bozeman were long and dark, with an average 8 hours of sunlight on the good days. The cold, dark, and snowy climate often made me deeply regret my choice to move here from Hawaii three years ago.
The saving grace was the summers. Especially in the early summer when there could be 17 hours of sunlight a day. This fact I was currently taking complete advantage of, and hiking out into the forests of Gallatin National Forest to a favorite glade of mine to soak up the sunlight. Even better I had heard that the bear grass was blooming this year, and I wanted to see the white flowers that were supposed to be so beautiful.
Robins glade was a hour a ways from where I parked my car at a brisk walk, the perfect distance I thought to get the needed exercise I needed to keep myself in shape. Being a college student who has to sit around and read books all day while snacking was not conducive to the best of health and I liked to keep fit.
I pulled into the graveled parking lot at the end of a long windy dirt road before turning off my car. Getting my bag out of the back seat I double checked that everything I needed was inside. 3 water bottles, one completely frozen the others chilled, a towel for laying on when I sunbathed, a knife, Para cord, and a compass in case of an emergency, a book to read in the glade, keys, 5 snack bars and 2 pieces of fruit. I was set. Heading out on the familiar trail I had found two years before that had quickly become my favorite.
I had been walking for no more than 5 minutes when I started to hear the sounds. A crash, a clang, voices on the wind. I picked up my pace. Hurrying as fast as I could over the rough terrain I turned a corner to see the most startling sight.
A circle was hanging in midair, rapidly shrinking. As the circle, which seemed to be acting like a window shrunk down smaller and smaller I noticed people lying on the ground beyond it. Five people to be exact. Gasping in worry I quickly hurried over, thanking my lucky stars that I had gone into nursing and not science like my mother wanted as I could plainly see that most of them appeared to be injured.
Rushing over yelled out “is everyone ok? Can everyone who can, stand up now and move over here to my left.” No one stood up, they were all unconscious.
And that’s when I saw him, stuttering to a halt, my heart pounding in my chest. That mask, those clothes, the headband, that HAIR. My mind was racing, my hands shaking; blood was rushing in my ears.
I don’t know how, couldn’t possibly guess. But, somehow, Hatake Kakashi was leaning up against that tree.

Chapter Text

Oh god, oh god, oh my freaking god!
Hatake Kakashi was leaning there against the tree not 20 feet from me.
A FICTIONAL CHARACTER was in front of me. A character from a story that I had read half-heartedly at best.
‘You’ve slipped and fallen’ I told myself. ‘You have a concussion, or better yet you aren’t even conscious. Yes! That’s it, you are dreaming. Now to wake up…..’
‘Why won’t you wake up?’
I pinched myself, hard. It hurt, a lot.
Looking back up I saw that the man was still lying there. Next to him, sprawled out on the grass, were two other characters I recognized. The bright pink hair (please be a wig, I whispered to myself) and stylized uchiha fan quickly let me know who these people were.
I crouched down next to the Hatake Kakashi.
‘Dressed as Kakashi, it’s cosplay’ I thought to myself. ‘Fictional characters don’t just pop out of their books and appear ….magically… the middle of the woods……….’ Smacking my forehead with my palm “get a grip mal.”
‘Triage’ I focused my mind towards the three men and one woman scattered by my feet, ‘focus on triage, do they have a pulse?’
I flitted from person to person. ‘Good, good, all of them have regular, if weak, heartbeats.’ I was so thankful that I was going to school to be a nurse and not a lawyer like mother wanted.
I pulled out my phone next after making sure that none of the cosplayers ‘not real, not real, not real’ were bleeding out on me.
“damnit” I cursed to myself, no cellphone service. I bit my lip as I was wont to do when I was upset or frustrated. Now what? I couldn’t leave them here; they were defenseless, injured, and unconscious.
‘What to do, what to do?’ I finally decided to run back to the car quick and drive it back up the trail head. The path wasn’t too rocky, but I still was glad that I had 4 wheel drive.
I hurriedly bundled the four strangers into my jeep, buckling them in. When I started moving kakashi ‘he’s just a cosplayer god damnit’ he shifted and opened his eyes.
They were grey, almost the color of the sky on a cloudy day. ‘eyes, two of them, no sharingan, huh’ I thought to myself while his eyes raked over me and our surroundings, cataloging and judging with just a glance despite how tired his eyes looked.
His face mask shifted, and when he spoke it was not in the English I was half hoping for but another language entirely, one I knew quite well, Japanese.
“Who are you?” he asked forcefully. “what do you want?”

Chapter Text

I pulled back, startled at the forcefulness of his questions.

“I’m Malie.” I answer him in Japanese. “I mean you no harm but please don’t move, you have been badly injured. I am trying to get you to the hospital.

The man sits up anyways ignoring my instructions before trying to stand. He grunts in pain and slumps back into the ground with his right arm wrapped around his torso, clutching it in pain

Where am I?” He coughs once, before settling back down against a nearby tree.

You are just outside of Bozeman.” At his look of incomprehension I get that sinking feeling in my gut again. ‘He CAN’T be Kakashi, he can’t.’ With his brows furrowed I expound upon my answer hoping against hope that the man will know at least the state and that he won’t be claiming to be from a fictional world because I could not be filing out emergency intake paperwork on a fictional character.

Well not to anywhere but the phych ward.


The U.S., the United States of America……”

“Earth?” I finally throw out when his face stays blank as a last ditch effort to keep my world from collapsing around me.

I don’t know of these places” his eyes hold a glint of suspicion in them as he stares me down.

that, um, might be a problem,” I tell him.

whats the last thing you remember? I mean…um where you were last?

Still holding himself stiffly and staring up at me with suspicion he warily answers me.

I was fighting….a great enemy….with my team as part of the 4th great shinobi war” I hum noncommittally all the while I’m whimpering inside as I think back to what I know of the Naruto story line and match it up to what he is saying. It’s all beginning to make a horrible amount of sense, as the great enemy kakashi was speaking about I had heard about from my friend Alice was capable of dimensional travel.

Where is my team?” he asks, looking around the clearing the trail cuts through, gaze lingering on my car for just a moment.

Oh, I put the three of them in the car.” I wave my arm in the general direction behind me where I had put the teenagers earlier.

A car? What have you done to them?” He exclaims hoarsely, and then starts coughing violently.

I haven’t harmed them; I simply put them in the vehicle behind me……a horseless carriage?” I wince; well that was a pretty stupid.

But Kakashi, as I was coming to realize he must be, relaxed fractionally and when he had finished with his coughing fit stumbles out “show them to me.”

So with a firm hand wrapped around his arm I help to leverage the famous copy ninja up into a standing position.

We slowly walk over to the open side door, stumbling all the way over the ground as Hatake Kakashi (as I was coming to see him as) managed to shuffle his way to the car. We finally reached it, and poking his head inside the man quickly looks over his comrades, shoulders slumping in what I assumed to be relief.

now if you yourself could manage to get into the car I could get you some where safer than this, even get you some medical care” I tell him, trying to get this conversation back on track to where it should be, that is, getting these four some proper medical attention.

Once again the paranoid ninja threw me a look of absolute suspicion before staring me down, finally having searched my face for any sign of falsehood he slowly slid into the seat, panting all the while. I watched as he leaned his head back against the headrest and closed his eyes, breath soon evening out.

Amazed that someone could fall asleep so quickly I stared at him for a while but when I realized what I was doing and shook my head to snap out of it. I hastily walked around the car and got into the drivers seat, put the key into the ignition before it hit me.

Oh My God!

What was I going to do? I had 4 fictional characters in my car.

4 people with injuries, some of them seveare. They needed a hospital, but I couldn’t just walk up to the front desk and say that I had Hatake Kakashi, Uzumaki Naruto, Haruno Sakura, and Uchiha Sasuke in my car.

It would be insane.

But it’s not like I could have left them lying on the ground in the middle of nowhere. I needed to get them looked at, well I could check them over for injuries, but I didn’t exactly have a safe place to stash 4 interdimensional travelers.

I placed my hands on the steering wheel, knuckles white.

My house wasn’t anywhere close to Fort Knox.

The house! Of course, with my roommate gone for the summer I could bring them there. It was big enough to house them, even if not very private, being in the middle of the suburbs.

Oh well, it would have to do, I had nowhere else to take them, no one I could trust.

Turning the key in the ignition I started the car, turning around I headed back towards the road.


I never noticed the one eye looking at me from the back seat.

Chapter Text

Driving back to my home I was in a daze, the sheer impossibilities hitting me all at once.

How was I going to do this?

What would I tell people?

What would happen when the four inter-dimensional travelers woke up?


I looked up and gasped at the deer crossing the road in front of me.

Slamming on the brakes I flew forward, being caught by the seat belt when the catch locked up.

I them watched as the deer simply ambled its way across the road, seemingly uncaring of how close I was, or how lucky it was to be alive.

I laughed, a bit hysterically, before a groan from the back recalled me to the here and now, and the passengers in my car.

The injured passengers who could have been hurt more by my slamming on the breaks.


Turning around in my seat I looked back over at the shinobi in my car.

They were seemingly unharmed but I didn't know what the seat belts could be doing to the injuries they already had received.

I needed to get to the house. Turning back around in my seat I started moving once more, driving on the familiar roads toward my home.


My thoughts turned to where I would put the four of them once I managed to get them into the house, I could put 2 of them in the pull out couch, but that still left two more.

Well, there was nothing for it. I would have to put two of them in my room, while I could stay in victoria's room for how ever long I had the four shinobi staying with me. Victoria had left last week to tour Europe for the summer, and she wouldn't be back for a month.

I turned off the highway and onto the frontage road, driving until I reached the turn to my house, drove a few blocks and then stopped in my driveway.


My house was a modest one story building with two bedrooms, kitchen, bath, living room, storage and was sitting on quite a bit of land. The closest neighbors were a couple of hundred yards away, giving privacy.

Privacy I was truly thankful for right now.

Carrying the teenagers into the house and laying them on beds was hard, but not impossible. Carrying Hatake Kakashi, who I must say was quite a bit taller and subsequently heavier than the three teens, was a lot harder.

After failing to wake up kakashi I had to awkwardly swing him into a fireman's carry to get him into the house.


It was hard.

Shinobi are heavy, too much muscle.


I sat down at the kitchen table to catch my breath. Placing my face in my hands (I seemed to be doing that a lot today) I rubbed my face, sighing. This was NOT a good day.

I straightened up after a few minutes. Still a job to be done, work to do.

Checking each of the shinobi for injuries was a long process, as they weren't awake for me to judge their reactions, not that I expected shinobi with high pain tolerances to have much of a reaction to pain.

I pulled out my first aid kit and bandaged up all of the wounds that I found that required such.

Thankfully nothing truly needed stitches and in my opinion nothing was broken, thank God.


When everyone had been looked at and bandaged up I took some time to rest and think.


Shinobi....... Naruto............. Naruto......


I needed to know more about naruto, and if my assumption was correct, that these four people in my house were really fictional characters from a Manga that I had read when I was in highschool.

So I looked them up.

You can find a lot of information on the internet, and if you know the right places a lot of manga.

My friend Alice had told me about a few sites before and I easily found the Naruto manga I was looking for.

My search (aka reading) took hours, even with my simply skimming.


But in the end my conclusion was simple and inevitable.


They were real.


They were really from the universe of Naruto.


OH MY GOD!!!!!!

Shinobi and alternate dimensions are real!!!


I was NOT taking this well. All of the stress of the day started to catch up to me and I was hyperventilating and shaking and crying all at once. Taking gasping breaths I tried to bring my breating back to normal but it wasn't working.


What was I going to do?

Chapter Text

Waking up the next morning I lay in my bed wondering why I was in my room mates room.

Then I remembered.

There were ninja in my house. Shinobi. Fictional characters, no longer fictional, that were injured and sleeping in my house.

I also recalled my panic attack from yesterday, grimacing at the memory. That had not been my best moment. Well now I had to be getting up. There were things to do, and I had to check on the 4 shinobi, making sure that they were all allright, that nothing had happened during the night.

Swinging my legs over the side of the bed I sat up, stretching my legs and arms out infront of me. 'well,' I thought 'time is a-wasting and time waits for no man, or in this case woman.'

Getting up I checked on sakura and sasuke in my bedroom before looking in on naruto and kakashi in the living room on the pull out couch. Then I went into the kitchen to start making breakfast, still in my pajamas.

I fried up a hearty breakfast, hungry since I hadn't had dinner the night before, too busy helping to patch up wounds to worry about food. And now I was paying for it, my stomach growling at me.

The scent of my fry up was wafting through the house while I danced to the songs on the radio, shimmying and shaking as I flipped an egg and checked on the hashbrowns.

I would later state that I did not squeak. I was a grown woman and I did not squeak like a mouse.

“What's that great smell?” I heard behind me.

Squeeling in surprise I turned around and saw Uzumaki Naruto standing in the doorway to the living room, rubbing the back of his neck.

I stared at him, he stared back.

Eeeehhh?” I jumped as he pointed at me suddenly, “Who are you? And where am I? What happened?” at this point Naruto was looking around wildly, gesturing with his hands (his whole body really) and jumping about. “how did I get here? Where is here? What happened to the crazy lady? Was she defeated? Did Sasuke defeat her? Where is Sasuke? Where are Sakura and Kakashi? Did something happen to them? Did YOU do something? Where are they? Where are my friends? What have you done to them?”

Naruto took me by the arms, lifting me up till I was on my tippy-toes and shaking me while asking me the last question. “Well, Answer me? Where are my friends?”

“ah, well, umm,” I stuttered for a moment, still caught up in the whirlwind that was Naruto. “your friends are fine, they are all just in another room. And, umm, you're hurting me.”

oh,” he let me go as if I was on fire, jumping back as I slumped down onto my heels. “sorry” he said sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck again.

Then looking up at me (he was rather short and I was startled into the reminder that he was only 15, possible 16) he squinted his eyes in a suspicious look and started talking again in Japanese. “but how do I know you haven't done anything to them, huh? I don't know you, you could be anyone dattebayo.

Exasperated by the constant jumping about and screaming in my face I tugged on his arm ( the one that wasn't all bandaged up) and pulled him with me into the living room.

Every one of your friends is fine, how you didn't see Kakashi when you woke up is a mystery to me though. You were laying on the same bed.”

Seeing Hatake sleeping peacefully on the pull out couch he relaxed and in the quietest voice yet explained that he hadn't really been focusing on anything but the smell of the delicious food.


Both our stomachs rumbled and after a quick look in on Sakura and Sasuke we returned to the kitchen where the food was only just saved from burning.

Plating up the eggs and potatoes Naruto gave the food a odd look before digging into the fare.

Watching him eat was almost mesmerizing in it disgustingness. The orphaned teen would shovel food in by the spoonful constantly, wolfing it all down in seconds.

In moments Naruto was scraping the bottom of the plate and then he lifted his head up suddenly to stare at me, I jerked in startlement and he shot me the most pitiful look. I looked down at my (untouched) plate, and then I looked back up at Naruto's huge puppy dog eyes and shoved my plate in his direction.

He muttered his thanks with a quick, blinding smile, and went straight back to shoveling food into his mouth. I stared at him for a moment longer before shaking my head and getting up to make myself breakfast, again.

I was just starting to fry up some more fried potatoes (with real onion and garlic this time, hey I was having a very trying morning, I deserved it) when Naruto came bounding over with his plate. 

Just put it in the sink,” I told him. He did so before bouncing back to my side chattering away again.

So that was nice, a little weird, but still nice. I think your a great cook. What are you cooking now? Is it the same stuff? Hey, do you have Ramen? I love Ramen, pork ramen, miso ramen, beef ramen.....” he continued talking about ramen to himself to my utter amazement, talking about the different types and how to properly cook them. It almost made me think he was a ramen chef the way he was going on about the cook times on the noodles, let alone the additives.

In amusement I went and got the one common staple of all college students.

An entire box of beef Top Ramen.

Naruto stopped talking when I brought out the box, but his eyes got huge and shiny and he screamed out so loud that I worried about waking up the other sleeping shinobi in the house.



45 minutes later:

I looked around the kitchen aghast at what I was seeing.

Naruto had somehow managed to get through what I had left in the box of top ramen, at least 20 packages of ramen noodles.

The kitchen was covered in strewn packets of spices, empty plastic wrappers, and dirty bowls. And now I would have to clean all of this up.

I turned to naruto to get him to help me and saw that he was once more passed out, this time on the kitchen table, snoring softly.

Chapter Text

I cleaned up the kitchen, putting the wrappers in the trash, washing the bowls and silverware and sweeping the floor before starting to mop it.

I finished up and grabbed a nursing journal to pass the time before anyone woke up. I was partway through the Nursing Journal when I saw Naruto start to stir.

“You waking up now?” she asked aloud.

The boy stirred and mumbled to himself half asleep still, “Not yet sakura, five more minutes.”

“Not sakura, and you can have 5 minutes more, I'm just reading a magazine.” she told the sleepy boy.

“Not....Sakura.....whats a....a magazine?” he asked shakily, blinking his eyes slowly and yawning cutely.

“It's like a newspaper with pictures.” I explained to him as he rubbed the sleepiness from his eyes.

“Eehhh! Who are you?” he exclaimed when he saw me. “You aren't Sakura!”

“I'm Malie.” I told him.

“Oh yeah, you fed me ramen. Thanks for that.” and he flashed me a quick blinding smile.

“No problem, a growing boy like you needs a lot of food.”

“Boy!” he squawked, “I'm a man!”

“A man, you can't be older than 15” I giggled.

“I'm 17, dattebayo” Naruto groused.

“17, oh dear, I think I should have read the storyline more in-depth if I’ve missed that, wonder what else I’ve missed.” I mused to myself.

“Story....line....?” Naruto remarked wonderingly.

“Oh, um, ano, i'm rally not sure how to put this. Like, really.” how did you tell a person that they were in a demension where they were just simple characters in a story? How?

“Everyone always tells me to start at the beginning. So why don't you try that?” he told me.

“Oh, well then it might be better for me to ask you a few questions to make sure that I have all of my information right.“ I informed him, trying to see what he already knew, not wanting to spring the whole different dimension thing on him if it wasn't expected. It was rather outlandish and I wasn't sure he would accept it without a good and logical lead up.

“Sure, fire away!” Naruto smiled again. “Well when you woke up you talked about a crazy lady you were fighting....” I trailed off meaningfully.

“Yeah, the rabbit lady, kogome, or something like that.”

“Otsutsuki Kaguya” I said. “How did that come about?”

“Well first we were fighting Tobi, who turned out to be this guy Obito, but he was really just working for Madara, so we were fighting him, me and my friends.”

“Haruno Sakura, Hatake Kakashi, and Uchiha Sasuke” I rolled out instantly.

“Yeah....them.” he shot me a look before continuing. “So we were fighting”

“In the fourth great shinobi war” I stated plainly

“Sasuke joined us and was using his sharingan and his crazyass big purple skeleton”

“Susanoo” I interjected.

“Yeah, that, and Sakura was using her strength and was healing like crazy fast, she even had that little diamond on her forehead like baachan”

“The Yin seal”

“Then there was this weird old man who told me this story about how I was his son's reincarnation”

“Otsutsuki Asura”

“And how he was going to give me this power to stop the insane eye of moon plan”

“Infinite Tsukuyomi”

“How do you know all of this?” Naruto asked.

“I will tell you later, please continue your explanation.”

“Ooookay, so, where was I?”

“Infinite Tsukuyomi” I informed him.

“Yeah, that, and the ten tails was formed, and then Neji died, oh god, Neji.” at this point Naruto was looking so despondent that I patted him on his back and waited for him to continue. “So I started giving Kurama's chakra to all of my comrades, which was a lot, but I could do it. But I was losing to the ten tails”

“The Juubi” by this point naruto was just ignoring me, and continued on with his story.

“When my father finally showed up with reinforcements, there was the other Hokage's and Even Sasuke showed up, finally, the bastard, and so we were all united, team 7 again, but the teme just had to go and state that he would be Hokage! The bastard! And then everyone else started saying they would be Hokage, even Kiba. So team 7 was together fighting the Juubi, and we all summoned and Whoa! Had Gamakichi grown! And so we were all fighting, and me and dad joined together and bumped fists, and our Kurama's bumped fists too, and then Kurama was whole again, his Yin and Yang chakra together. But then we were still losing people and Obito was still being an idiot and he was dragging morale down, so I had Ino transmit a message to everyone and we fought more”

“Lots of fighting going on then, what happened next?” I asked, even if I already knew.

“But unfortunetly the Juubi was part of Obito, and he was a jinchuuriki, but I spoke to Obito and started talking him out of being so damn crazy stupid. And we tried to release the tailed beasts, but then Madara chained them again, and gained a rinnegan, and so me and sasuke were fighting him and I think I passed out for a little while, but then I was up, and I was talking to the old man, and he gave me this power”

“The sage of the sixth fold paths gave you the yang half of his power.”

“And then I saved bushy-brows sensei from dieing because he opened up the 8th gate, and then Sasuke had the rinnegan too, and we were fighting Madara together, cause we each had half of the power necessary to defeat him. Then Obito showed up, but he was covered in this black stuff”

“Black Zetsu was controlling him.”

“Then I had to save Sakura-chan, and after that Sasuke had to cover us, team 7, in his Susanoo to protect us from the light of the moon that put everyone in a genjutsu, but Madara was betrayed by black Zetsu, who was apparently just a part of this lady”

“Otsutsuki Kaguya”

“And then madara turned into the rabbit lady.”

“again, Otsutsuki Kaguya, not rabbit lady”

“Yeah, but then she started to tansport us places. It was weird, cause we would be fighting her and then we would be somewhere else. And I used my Sexy: reverse harem technique on the weird lady and we got a good hit in on her. Then Obito was saying that he was going to walk the right path with us but then he died saving Kakashi, and then we continued fighting and then we were someplace else, and I guess I ran out of chakra.”

“You were transported somewhere else.”

“Oh, you know then? Where we are, and what happened?”

“Well, the first thing I have to say is that when she transported you places do you know where you were going?”

“Um, the others said something about a different dimension....”

“That's right, it was a different dimension, and that last jump was to a different dimension, one you are still in.”

“What! This is a different dimension? did you know all of that stuff?” Naruto questioned me suspiciously.

“Now this is the part that you are going to have to stretch you imagination to understand, but here, in this dimension you aren't real people, you are just characters in a story. An unfinished Manga......”

“.......What.......what the hell.........what the hell are you talking about, characters in a story? Who would believe that?”

“But it's true see.....” I tried to explain to him.

“No, no way that's way too outlandish!” Naruto crossed his arms in an x in front of him.

“I assume you have proof?” a voice spoke up from the doorway, causing both of us to yelp in startlement.

“Kakashi!” the blonde exclaimed, jumping up and hugging his comrade. “this lady is saying that we are only characters in a story! Like anyone would believe that.”

“I heard Naruto, and once again I ask if there is any proof” he said in a low tone.

“There is, follow me, I have the site pulled up on the computer.” I walked away from them into another room. Now I would have to deal with the two of them when confronted with the knowledge that they were only storybook characters in this dimension.