"I need you to fake date me!" Rodney declared as he rushed into John's office. He bounced on his toes in anticipation.
"What?" John frowned, looking up from his computer. "What are you talking about?"
Rodney snapped his fingers. "Get with it, Sheppard! We need to start dating. Like today!"
John leaned back in his chair and looked flatly back at Rodney.
"And just why should I do that?" John asked, puzzled.
Rodney huffed in annoyance.
"Now that we finally cleaned up Tower 47, Woolsey's opening up applications for folk to move there," Rodney said.
"Yes, you and I were both there at that meeting," John replied patiently. "What does that have to do with us dating?"
"Well, Emma told me that Woolsey wants to make the larger apartments only for couples, or families," Rodney said. "And, since we don't have many families, that means mostly couples."
"And..." John drawled.
Rodney threw up his hands in the air. "Those larger apartments have the best bathrooms! Whirlpool tubs, multiple shower heads, towel warming bars... the works!"
"Oh, the luxury spa bathrooms?" John had to laugh.
"Hey! Don't knock it until you've tried it!" Rodney protested. "Think of the whirlpool tub after a long mission... and it's good for you!"
"That's what you're going with?" John smiled. "It's good for you?"
Rodney rolled his eyes. "You know what I mean!"
"What would this fake dating involve, exactly?" John asked with a small grin.
"Oh, I don't know," Rodney hesitated to think for a moment. "Like, eating meals together. Or walking out on the pier at night. Maybe sitting together at movie night. You could save me some cookies at dinner. Or come and get me in the lab for a meal." He shrugged. "I don't know! I'm not good at this sort of thing."
"I don't know, but, well, seems to me that we've been doing all those things already," John pointed out.
"You! You've been dating me all along!" Rodney accused, pointing a finger at John.
John blushed and shrugged. "Maybe?"
"No maybe about it, mister!" Rodney grinned, looking smug.
John got up from his chair and moved toward Rodney, thinking the door to the office shut.
"Since we've been dating," John said softly, "maybe we can move on to the kissing?"
Rodney reached out and grabbed John's waist. "Kissing would be good..."
And it was good. Soft and warm and hot and perfect.
"How long have we been dating?" Rodney finally asked.
"Umm... a year?" John admitted, leaning in for another soft kiss.
"A year? And there haven't been any orgasms? What are we waiting for?" Rodney demanded.
"Maybe our new apartment, that I already put in for," John smiled. "We can try that whirlpool tub together."