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A Deals a Deal

Chapter Text

“I’m going to lose everything? I only have one more try,” Dipper cried as he grabbed his head, staring at the laptop which was counting down. The room suddenly turned grey and a familiar voice rang out.

“Well, well, well, somebody’s looking desperate,” Bill Cipher said as he made his appearance.

“I thought I told you to leave me alone,” Dipper said angrily, glaring at the floating triangle with mistrusting eyes.

“I can help you kid, you just need to hear out my demands,” Bill said calmly, knowing Pinetree was at the end of his rope. The meatbag still didn’t trust him, but he was clearly tired and not thinking straight, it would be easy to trick him.

Dipper groaned in frustration. “What crazy thing do you want anyways? To eat my soul? To rip out my teeth? Are you going to replace my eyes with baby heads or something?”

“Yeesh kid, relax. All I want is something in this room. Like a puppet or something,” Bill said. Through those were all good ideas, he would have to remember them.

“A puppet?...What are you playing at,” Dipper questioned, narrowing his eyes.

“Everyone loves puppets, and it looks to me like you got a surplus,” Bill said, moving the hand puppets around, playing with them and putting one on Dipper.

“I...I don’t know man, Mabel worked really hard on these,” Dipper answered looking unsure.

Bill had to give Pine Tree credit, most people wouldn't put their siblings first, especially over something as pointless as a puppet. The kid was a tool. Luckily, he knows everything that happens in Gravity Falls. “Seems to me one little puppet is a small price to pay to learn all the secrets of the universe. Besides, what’s your sister done for you lately? How many times did you sacrifice for her, huh? And when has she ever returned the favor?”

Pine Tree was looking back and forth between Shooting Star and the laptop, Bill already knowing he had won. “Tick tock kid,” Bill said putting a flaming hand out for him to shake.

“Just one puppet? Fine,” Dipper said taking Bill’s hand. “So, what puppet are you going to take anyways?” Bill pointed at the puppet on Dippers left hand. “You want this one?”

“I said I wanted a puppet or something,” Bill said in a sing song voice, “I decided to go with something, and that something is your hand!

“Ahhh! You’re going to cut off my hand,” Dipper screamed in horror, covering his hand protectively.

“Relax, I’m not going to cut it off,” Bill laughed. Once Dipper dropped his guard a bit, Bill hit his hand with a blast of magic.

Dipper screamed and fell to the ground, clenching his arm.

“Are you always this dramatic kid? You’re fine,” Bill said in an amused tone, pine tree was really adorable.~

“What,” Dipper questioned, sitting up and taking off the puppet to see his hand was still attached. Confusion was written all over his face, looking up at Bill who just hummed happily. Bill kicked the laptop a few times, making “access accepted” appear on the screen. “I don’t understand, you said you were going to take my hand.”

“No, I wanted your hand, but I’m going to wait till you’re a little older,” Bill hummed.

“I’m still confused, why did you...” Dipper stopped and took a close look at his hand, crying out when he saw golden ring on his finger. “What’s this?!”

“It’s an engagement ring, duh,” Bill said rolling his eye, “Did you want a big diamond on it to show off to the girls? Maybe make your sister jealous?”

Dipper just gaped at Bill, at a loss for words.

“Just remember, I’m going to wait till you’re older before I take your hand in marriage, but we’re still engaged so you better not cheat on me,” Bill said pointing at Dipper, “So no more flirting with Red. I’m the jealous type and I get very angry when I’m jealous,” Bill yelled, blue flames bursting everywhere, his eye turning red. But he quickly went back to normal.

“Alright then, I got more work to do so I’ll talk to you later sweetie pie,” Bill said cheerfully, blowing Dipper a kiss, even through he didn't have lips, and disappeared.

Dipper stayed frozen in place, still gaping before passing out from shock and exhaustion.

Bill giggled gleefully, it went better than he had hoped. Granted Pine Tree was going to spend his time trying to break the deal, but at least while he was focused on that he would forget about learning Gravity Fall’s secrets for a while. But he gave Dipper what he wanted so there was no way for him to back out.

“Hey Dipper, we’re going to leave for the puppet show,” Mabel said coming up into the room to get Dipper and more of the puppets, then saw her sleeping brother curled up on the floor, “Aww, he even sleeps like a kitten.” Mabel decided to let Dipper get some rest since he hasn't been sleeping the past view nights. She could tell him all about the show and her date with Gabe in the morning.

Chapter Text

“Dipper! Dipper! Wake up Dipper! Please wake up,” Mabel yelled at her sleeping twin, trying to shake him awake.

“WH…What? What’s going on,” Dipper cried out sitting up, looking around in a panic, “Mabel, what’s wrong?” He looked at the clock and it was a little after midnight, the full moon shining through the window.

“Nothing’s wrong, I just couldn’t wait till morning to tell you about the show,” Mabel squealed, “Everyone loved it! Gabe was impressed and thought it was amazing! He even took me out for ciabatta, which I thought was a car or scooter or something, but it turns out it’s just bread. The whole night was perfect! Now we’re going to do puppet shows together!

“Wow, that’s great. I’m glad you didn’t wait till morning to tell me that,” Dipper said dryly, still upset that she ditched him for puppets. Was some guy really more important than keeping her promise to help him find out the password for the laptop? Suddenly Dipper remembered what had happened hours earlier. He ran to the laptop and saw the access granted on the screen before showing a series of ones and zeros.

“Yay, you figured out the password,” Mabel said excitedly when she saw the screen, “What was it? Password? Wordpass?”

Dipper was excited but remembered the price, “Oh no! Oh no,” he said in a panic, his face paling.

“Oh no oh no? That was the password,” Mabel huffed, hoping it would have been something funny or really obvious that would have really annoyed Dipper for not getting right away.

“N…No. I…I couldn't figure out the password! And…and it suddenly said that it was going to delete all the data in the laptop. I got desperate,” Dipper panicked, laying down on the bed. “I made a deal with Bill Cipher…”

Mabel gasped, “The evil triangle guy? You said you weren't going to mess with him! What did Bill want,” she asked. “To eat your soul? To rip out your teeth? Replace your eyes with baby heads?!”

Dipper couldn't help but let out a laugh, “That is what I asked if he wanted.”

“What? No way,” Mabel laughed.

Dipper chuckled then shook his head, “I wish that’s what he did. Instead, he asked for my hand….”

Mabel interrupted him, “Bill cut off your hand?!

“No…he asked for it,” Dipper sighed, showing his sister the ring on his finger.

It took Mabel a moment to realize what Dipper meant. Her eyes widen in shocked before she fell to the ground laughing hysterically.

The male twin looked at his sister with an angry glare, through it wasn’t that menacing. “It’s not funny Mabel! Bill says he plans to marry me when I’m older! What am I going to do?”

“Start planning the wedding,” Mabel laughed wiping some tears away, “Are you going to wear a dress?”

“Mabel, would you please stop being useless for five minutes and help me,” Dipper snapped at his sister. His face fell when he saw her hurt face and her lip wobble. “I’m sorry Mabel, I shouldn’t have said that,” Dipper sighed, “But this is serious and I really need your help.”

“No, you’re right, I haven’t been a good sister,” Mabel said sadly, “If I had just helped you like I promised, you wouldn’t have had to make a deal with Bill in the first place.”

Dipper gave Mabel a sad smile, “You can help me now Mabel. Unless you want Bill to be your brother in law,” Dipper tried to joke.

“No way, who knows how he’d act at a family get together,” Mabel said, “And I have no idea what to get him for gifts, unless I can make a sweater that fits a triangle.”

“….Right,” Dipper said, “I’ll see what information I can get from the laptop. You had a long night, get some sleep.”

“You should be the one getting sleep Dipper,” Mabel scolded.

“I was sleeping, but I don’t think I can get back to sleep,” Dipper said, typing on the laptop, trying to translate the binary code. To be honest, he was worried if he slept he would meet with Bill in his dreams and he wanted to avoid him for a while.

Mabel frowned but went back into bed, tucking in her sock puppets. She tried to get to sleep but something kept bugging her. “Hey Dipper, if you do end up getting married to Bill, will you let me make your dress?”

“I am not going to answer that,” Dipper said, taking his laptop to go work outside.

The night went by quickly, Dipper setting the laptop aside to watch the sunrise. He thought about going to the library later to find a book on binary code, or maybe ask Soos if he can use his computer to look up information if the library was lacking. Dipper pulled out book 3 and started to look through the pages, needing a break from staring at a screen.

Dipper enjoyed video games and TV just as much as anyone else, but he loved books. Everyone always asked him why he didn’t just get tablet to download books onto, he told them it just wouldn’t be the same. Dipper liked the feel of books, the weight in his hands, the smell of the pages and the sound of opening a new book. At first Dipper just kept his face buried in books to hide his birthmark, but found that he actually really enjoyed reading.

“It’s really romantic watching the sunrise with you, my little Pine Tree.”

Dipper shouted in shock, looking beside him where Bill was sitting. “What are you doing here?!”

“Watching the sunrise with you,” Bill said, “Or I would be if you’d put that book down. I’m starting to feel like you don’t pay enough attention to me.”

“Okay Bill, what are you playing at,” Dipper questioned once he calmed down a bit, “What’s with the whole marriage thing? Why would you want to marry me?”

“I told you before that I liked you,” Bill reminded, “I even gave you a courting gift of a head that’s always screaming, so you know I’m serious.”

“You said you liked me, not that you like me liked me,” Dipper groaned, wondering why the demon triangle had to be so crazy, “And what kind of courting gift is a screaming head?”

“Would you rather have an exploding head,” Bill asked getting ready to summon one up.

“No! No exploding heads,” Dipper shouted.

“Okay, what kind of exploding body part do you want,” Bill asked.

“I don’t want exploding anything! I want to know why out of all the things you could have done to me, you decide that you want to marry me,” Dipper demanded angrily. This whole thing felt like some sick joke that he didn’t want to hear the punch line to.

Bill hummed, like he was trying to think of his answer, “I like you Pine Tree, I’ve been interested in you since you first came to Gravity Falls,” Bill admitted. “You were here less than a week before you started noticing weird things. There’s people who have lived here their entire lives but turned a blind eye to everything.”

“I knew I was being watched,” Dipper muttered under his breath then shook his head, “My grunkle Stan noticed the things, he just acted like he didn’t. And Soos notices weird things too.”

“Yeah, but Stan didn’t start believing how crazy this place was until it was far too late,” Bill said, “As for question mark….he’s not really a threat. He’s an overweight man child who could only get a date when a pig had control of his body.”

Dipper glared at the laughing triangle, “Don’t talk about Soos like that! Yeah, he’s a man child, but he’s a good guy who has helped us out a lot.” Dipper knew Soos did mess things up from time to time, but he always there when Dipper needed him, so he wasn’t going to let Bill insult his friend.

“Another thing I like about you Pine Tree, so protective and brave despite your weak noodle arms,” Bill teased, feeling Dippers arm, “But you have bulked up a bit since you first got here.”

“Wow, you really think so,” Dipper asked excitedly, flexing his arms. He then remembered who he was talking to and got serious again. “I’m not going to let you hurt anyone Bill, and I’m going to end our ‘engagement,’” Dipper said doing air quotes, then tried pulling off the ring. It wouldn’t come off so he tried pulling harder.

“Careful Pine Tree, you’re going to break your finger,” Bill said, “That ring is stuck on you forever…or until I give you a wedding ring. Is there a difference between a wedding ring and engagement ring? I can never remember.”

“I’m not sure either, I can go ask Mabel. She’ll probably know, she’s been planning her wedding since she was five,” Dipper said before shaking his head. “I’m trying to argue with you! How do you keep turning it into a normal conversation?!”

“Heck if I know Pine Tree, maybe you just love me too much to stay angry with me,” Bill teased, laughing at Dippers angry look, “Well you’re about to wake up, so I will talk to you later.” Bill blew Dipper a kiss.

Dipper woke with a start, book in his lap and the laptop leaning against him. He climbed back in the room, noticing Mabel was gone so he went downstairs.

“You’re looking better today kid, finally get some sleep,” Stan asked, noticing he had less bags under his eyes.

“Grunkle Stan recorded my puppet show, want to watch it Dipper,” Mabel asked, holding up the tape excitedly.

“I’m just going to have some breakfast and head to the library to do research,” Dipper said pouring a bowl of cereal.

“It doesn’t open for a few more hours, you have time to watch it,” Mabel said, “Take some time to relax and enjoy yourself Dipper.”

Dipper groaned, really not in the mood to watch a puppet show, but couldn’t say no since Mabel looked so excited, “Fine, but once it’s over you have to come to the library with me to help.”

“No problem brother,” Mabel said, “It’s my turn to be there for you, no matter how boring it is! No brother of mine is going to be forced into marriage!”

“Hahaha! Funny Mabel, lets go watch the tape,” Dipper said covering Mabel’s mouth when Stan looked at them funny, dragging her to the living room.

Dipper had no idea how a puppet show could last this long, but was glad that all the puppets they made got used so it didn’t seem like a complete waste of time. He cheered when it was over, because he was happy it ended.

“I’m glad you liked it so much Dipper,” Mabel said after Dipper cheered, “Want to watch it again?”

“Sorry, business before pleasure,” Dipper said holding up the laptop.

After taking the golf cart without asking (“We’re giving it back so it’s not stealing,” Mabel had said) and drove it to the library. There wasn’t many people in there, just the librarian who was sleeping and Old Man McGucket who was eating books, loudly claiming that it was brain food.

“Okay, we got the password, but the laptop seems to have some kind of binary code, which I don’t know how to read, so I need to find some books on it,” Dipper told his sister, “You look through the journal to find anything we might have missed about Bill, and I’ll look around.”

“You got it Dipper,” Mabel said, putting on a serious face and opening the journal.

Once he made sure Mabel was actually reading instead of just staring at the pages, Dipper went to the library catalog, found where the books were and went to get it. The “How to Read Binary Code” book was big and just out of Dipper’s reached. He was ready to start climbing when someone grabbed the book and handed it to him. “Is this the book you wanted?”

“Yeah, thanks,” Dipper smiled.

“No problem Pine Tree.”

Dipper froze at the nickname and finally recognized the voice. Praying that he was wrong, Dipper slowly looked up at the man and screamed.

Chapter Text

“Geeze kid, aren’t you suppose to be quiet in a library,” Bill asked, “Does that mean you don’t like how I look?” Bill now had a human body, he was tall, dark skinned with golden hair, sporting a eyepatch covering his left eye. He was dressed in rather formal clothing, probably so he could keep his signature hat and bow tie.

“Bill....Bill what are you doing here,” Dipper asked loudly, making the librarian wake up long enough to shh him before going back to sleep, “How did you get here,” he asked softer, but still sounded irritated.

“I’m here to help you my little Pine Tree, you know codes are my thing,” Bill said smiling widely at Dipper, “And I got here by walking and opening the door.” Dipper glared at Bill but he just kept smiling.

“Dipper, I heard your girly scream from the other side of the library,” Mabel said running to her brother’s aid, ignoring the glare Dipper gave her about his scream.

“Hello there Shooting Star,” Bill greeted, waving and smiling at Mabel. “It’s me, Bill!”

“Wha...why are you human,” Mabel asked, “And such a good looking one?”

“Why thank you little Shooting Star,” Bill said, smiling wider at the praise and ruffling her hair, “But I’m not really human, I just took this form so I could spend more time with my little Pine Tree.”

“Aww, that’s so sweet,” Mabel began, getting an angry shout from her brother. “Umm, I better stay away from Dipper!”

“After seeing your sock opera last night, I’d figure you wouldn’t want to keep two people from getting married,” Bill quipped, trying to play to Mabel’s romantic side.

Mabel gasped excitedly, “You saw my puppet show?! Did you like it?!

“It was the best sock puppet show I have seen, and keep in mind I’m older than the human race,” Bill said. Granted, he can’t remember seeing any other sock puppet shows, ever, so it wasn’t really a lie or anything. Bill knew to get Dipper it would help to get his sister to like him. No doubt Mabel would tell Dipper to give Bill a chance if she thought he was nice. Judging by the way her face lit up, it would be easy to win Mabel over to his side.

“Did you hear that Dipper?! The demonic triangle thinks I put on the best puppet show in the history of the world,” Mabel exclaimed, shaking her brother in excitement.

“Sock puppet show,” Bill corrected, thinking of all the other puppet shows he’s seen that were far more entertaining. Mabel just shrugged, still considering it a victory.

“Go away Bill, we don’t need your help,” Dipper hissed, glaring up at Bill.

“Aw, you look like an angry kitten,” Bill and Mabel both said. Mabel noticed they spoke at the same time and pointed up at Bill. “Jinx! You owe me a soda!”

“Ooh, a human soda, I want to learn to drink that like a normal person,” Bill clapped, “Where can we get some?”

“There’s a vending machine outside,” Mabel answered.

“It’s broken Mabel, besides, you shouldn’t go anywhere alone with Bill,” Dipper said, taking his sisters hand and dragging her away.

“But Dipper, I want my soda,” Mabel whined, wanting to get some pop other than the cheap stuff Grunkle Stan got.

“Well Pine Tree, if you don’t want your sister to be alone with me, why don’t you just come with us,” Bill suggested grinning.

“Yeah, come on Dipper. Soda! Soda! Soda,” Mabel chanted, Bill joining in.

Dipper groaned and frustration, but gave in, “Fine, just give me a minute to check out this book.” Luckily the librarian was able to stay awake long enough to check out the book, quickly falling back asleep once he handed it back to Dipper. Grabbing the laptop, he followed Bill and Mabel outside.

“You were right Dipper, this vending machine doesn’t work,” Mabel pouted, kicking it.

“Just as well, I don’t think it would accept my money,” Bill said, trying to force a gold nugget in the slot you put money in.

“Why are you carrying a gold nugget around with you,” Dipper asked.

“How else am I suppose to buy things Pine Tree,” Bill rolled his eye, still trying to force the gold in.

“You use money, actual money,” Dipper explained angrily, feeling weird having to explain this to a grown man. Even if the grown man was actually a evil triangle dream demon. “Sell the gold or something.”

“Why would you sell perfectly good gold,” Bill questioned, “I always tell people to buy gold, so I’d be a hypocrite if I sell it.”

“But the person you’re selling it to is buying the gold, which is what you want people to do,” Mabel pointed out.

“Can’t argue with that logic,” Bill said after thinking for a second. “Now where can I sell it?”

Dipper sighed and pointed across the street at a pawn shop, with a large bright sign that said ‘WE BUY GOLD’

“Good eye Pine Tree,” Bill praised, walking towards it but Dipper pulled him back just before a car drove by.

“You need to look both ways before you cross the street or you’re going to get yourself killed,” Dipper scolded.

“It’s so nice you care about me Pine Tree,” Bill hugged Dipper, “I guess I forgot I’m in a meat-bag body now and can’t do fun things anymore.”

“Don’t worry about it, me and Dipper are meat-bags, but we put ourselves in content danger all the time,” Mabel said cheerfully.

Bill’s face fell a little at that, “Yes, I noticed that. I recall Dipper once jumping off a cliff to jump into the eye of a giant robot to beat up Gideon and save you. And breaking into a haunted convenience store to impress that red headed girl.” Bill said the last part like he had a bad taste in his mouth, making it clear he did not care for Wendy.

“Were you also watching when we were chased by the Gobblewonker? Or when my brother and Gideon crashed out a window, almost falling to their deaths before I saved them,” Mabel asked, “Or a few weeks ago when Dipper raised the dead, almost getting us killed by a horde of zombies?”

Dipper couldn’t help but shiver at the memories. It’s a good thing his parents would never believe anything if he told them what happened, or else they probably wouldn’t let him come back next summer. He would miss Gravity Falls, but at least he could spend the year trying to find a way out of his deal with Bill without the triangle bothering him.

Bill knew what Dipper was thinking, the thought having crossed his mind too. While he knew Dipper couldn’t find a way out of their deal without a worse consequence, he would miss his little Pine Tree if he was gone all year. But he was a clever little triangle, Bill already figured something out. “Come on, lets get money and get our soda!”

The pawn broker was surprised that someone showed up with a pure gold nugget, but didn’t question it. Bill and the Pine twins left with two thousand dollars in hand. “We can buy a life time of soda with that money,” Mabel celebrated.

“The most we’d get is a year with how much pop you drink,” Dipper said, “Probably not even that.”

“Don’t be like that my little Pine tree,” Bill chirped, “Since I have all this money, why don’t I treat you kids to an early lunch or brunch or whatever people call it.”

Dipper was about to decline when his stomach growled, reminding him that he never got the chance to eat breakfast. Before he could tell Bill he could pay for himself, he noticed Mabel walking away with Bill, both chanting ‘pancakes.’ The male twin sighed and started to follow them.

They went to Greasy’s Diner, since Gravity Falls only had five restaurants and the diner was the only place that served breakfast. “This is exciting,” Bill exclaimed loudly, “I haven’t had a human body in so long, I don’t even remember what food taste like!”

A few people turned their heads, but just shrugged and went back to eating. Dipper was starting to wonder if Stan was right about the people of Gravity Falls literally being the dumbest people in the world. They were taken to their seats, Bill looking a bit disgusted by how sticky it was but didn’t say anything. They all got pancakes, Bill and Mabel getting soda while Dipper just sticked to water.

“The pancakes here are good, but I like making pancakes at home since I can put sprinkles, strawberries, whipped cream, chocolate sauce, chocolate chips, powered sugar and gummy koala’s on mine,” Mabel said as she chug down her soda.

“That sounds great, what about you Pine Tree,” Bill asked.

Dipper sipped his water, not looking up at them, “Just butter and syrup.”

“Geeze kid, are you always this boring when you’re not doing things that put your life in danger,” Bill inquired.

“Pretty much,” Mabel answered for her brother, ignoring his glare, “He only does fun things when I talk him into doing them with me.” Dipper was always really shy when he was younger, avoiding people so they wouldn’t make fun of his birthmark and enjoyed reading while the other boys played sports. Mabel didn’t want her twin to be sad and lonely, so she’d always make him play with her.

Their pancakes came, Bill waiting for the twins to start eating to see how he should eat. Mabel seemed to pull out a can of whipped cream and some sprinkles, grabbing a pancake, putting the whipped cream and sprinkles on it, then folded it in half, eating it like a taco. Dipper made sure made his were in a perfect stack before carefully cutting them.

“I noticed how you’re cutting your pancakes into triangles,” Bill teased, smiling at Dipper.

Dipper blushed, “Sh..shut up, that’s how a lot of people cut their pancakes.” Dipper started eating, being carful not to make triangles.

Bill laughed at Dipper’s cute blush and started to eat his pancakes, “These aren’t half bad, can’t wait to try more food.”

Mabel gasped excitedly, “I can make you some of my Mabel juice!”

Dipper was about to speak up, to tell Bill it was a bad idea, but decided to just stay quiet. “If it’s anything like soda, I’m in,” Bill said pouring the soda in his mouth, then on the rest of his face.

“Well, thank you for buying us food Bill, but we should probably head back to the shack,” Dipper said, eager to get started reading. He was so close to figuring out what was on the laptop, he just needed to translate the binary code.

“Sorry to see you go, my little pine tree, but I will see you soon since I can not stand to part from you for long,” Bill bowed.

“You’re so sweet and romantic, Bill,” Mabel commended.

Dipper threw his sister a glare which was ignored. Bill blew Dipper a kiss which everyone in the diner ignored, since none of them seemed to care that a man in his twenties was blowing kisses to a twelve year old boy. He pulled his sister out of the diner, who waved bye to Bill.

Mabel walked along side Dipper, who had his face buried in his book, making sure he didn’t trip, or run into anybody. She was starting to think Bill was nice, he was very romantic and gave them pancakes, but didn’t blame Dipper for not trusting him. Dipper wasn’t easily swayed by sweet words and food, not to mention he didn’t like being tricked. They went back to the library to get the cart and rode it back to the shack which was surprisingly closed. “Why would Grunkle Stan close the Mystery Shack today?”

“Maybe those government guys are back,” Dipper offered as an explanation, knowing their great uncle didn’t like the government nosing around his business. The twins walked in, finding Stan sitting in the kitchen. “Grunkle Stan, why is the shack closed?”

Stan jumped, having not seen them come and was surprised when Dipper suddenly started talking, “Geeze, don’t scare me like that kid. The shack’s closed cause I needed to talk to you. What would you kids think of staying with me longer?”

Dipper liked the idea of being able to stay in Gravity Falls, but could tell something was bothering their great uncle, “Why?”

Stan sighed, “While you kids were out...I got a call from your parents.”

Chapter Text

Dipper felt his heart stop, staring at his great uncle in shock, “Wh…what happened to them? Are they hurt? Are they in the hospital slowly dying? Eaten by a demon?!” Dipper knew Bill had to do something to do with this. He was going to make that triangle pay.

“What? Nothing happened, they’re fine,” Stan said, “I guess the way I said it made it sound like it may have been something bad, but they just called to tell me they got a promotion at their jobs.”

“That’s great,” Mabel shouted, “But what does that have to do with us staying with you?”

“The thing is, the job is going to require them to move to Italy,” Stan explained, rubbing the back of his neck, “But they weren’t sure if you two wanted to move to another country. I already told them I wouldn’t mind having you stay with me, but it’s up to you two. Do you want to move to Italy or stay here in Gravity Falls with me?”

“Wow…that’s a lot to take in,” Dipper said. He wanted to stay in Gravity Falls and learn more of the mysteries, but he wasn’t sure if he wanted to be away from his parents that long.

“But what if they won’t let me take Waddles,” Mabel whined tearing up, hugging her beloved pig closely.

“Your parents said you didn’t have to decide right now, just sometime before summer ends so they can either resister you for school here or where they’re moving,” Stan told them. “If you go with your parents, I won’t be offended, and they won’t be offend if you stay here since they know how much fun you’ve been having.”

Dipper and Mabel looked at each other, knowing they would have to talk it over. They went up to their room, sitting on their beds, both thinking of the pros and cons. Dipper thought Italy would be fun, especially if they lived close to Rome, then he could see the ruins, and he loved Italian food. If he and Mabel kept living with Grunkle Stan, they may waste away to nothing.

Mabel could only think that she’d be with her parents. She didn’t want to leave Grenda and Candy, and she was starting to sort of become friends with Pacifica. Not to mention her boyfriend Gabe, she didn’t want to be torn away after just finding him. “I don’t know what to do Dipper.”

“Don’t worry, we still have plenty time to decide,” Dipper gave her a comforting smile. Dipper opened the laptop, wanting to work on it, but couldn’t focus. When they first came to Gravity Falls, Dipper never thought he’d want to stay, but he grew to love this little town and Wendy. He smiled at the thought of Wendy, but wasn’t sure if she’d want to hang out with a middle schooler when she’d probably be off doing cool high school stuff.

Wendy was pretty much the only friend Dipper had in Gravity Falls besides his sister and Soos. He never went to hang out with Wendy and her friends again after the whole haunted convenience store fiasco. If they saw him and his sister Mabel they’d say hi, but wouldn’t really stop to talk. Dipper wasn’t sure if they didn’t like him or were too busy playing with their phones to have a conversation.

“Do you think Grunkle Stan would start feeding us if we started living here year round,” Mabel asked.

“Hard to say,” Dipper answered, “It may depend on weather our parents give him money to spend on us. And even if they did, who knows how much of it Grunkle Stan would actually spend on us.”

“Maybe mom and dad will give us a credit card to buy things we need,” Mabel pondered.

“Mabel, they won’t even give us phones, I doubt they’d trust us with a credit card,” Dipper deadpanned, laying on the bed.

“Well maybe your boyfriend Bill will buy you stuff,” Mabel laughed, making kissing noises at Dipper, getting hit with a pillow.

Dipper ignored his sister for the rest of the day, looking through the binary book to figure out the code on the laptop. “Why does binary code have to be so long,” Dipper grumbled, looking at the darken sky. He’s been at it for hours but he only managed to decode a few words, at this wait he’d be spending the rest of the summer working on this. Someone named Bill was mentioned from what Dipper could tell, but it was a common name so he couldn’t be sure if it was his Bill.

Not that Bill was his or anything. And he wasn’t Bill’s.

Groaning, Dipper considered getting some sleep, but didn’t want to worry about any dreams about a certain triangle. Not that the dreams would be about Bill, just that he would show up in them because he’s a dream demon. The night went by slowly, Dipper dragging himself downstairs for something to eat. He kept dozing off, but luckily his face landing in milk kept him awake.

“Something bothering you Dipper, you look like you went another night without sleep,” Wendy commented when she showed up to work, seeing Dipper lazily sweeping the floor. She was pretty sure the broom was the only thing keeping Dipper standing.

“Wha…oh hi Wendy…I couldn’t sleep, I was….thinking,” Dipper said with a yawn.

“Thinking about what,” Wendy asked sitting on the counter.

Dipper didn’t want to tell Wendy about being engaged, so he focused on something else. “Our parents got a job in Italy, so they asked us if we wanted to move with them or stay in Gravity Falls.”

“Oh wow, so what did you two decide?”

“We haven’t made up our minds yet,” Dipper sighed. “It’s a lot to think about. I can tell Mabel wants to stay here, but she has friends to hang out with at school, so I wouldn’t have anybody.” Dipper knew it was selfish to want to keep Mabel from her friends, but she was the only friend that he had.

“You can always hang out with me Dipper,” Wendy said offering him a smile, “The high school here is grades seventh thru twelve.”

“What, really,” Dipper asked.

“Yeah, I mean, Gravity Falls is a small town,” Wendy reminded him, “Haven’t you noticed there was only two school buildings?”

“Not really, but I try not to think about school during the summer,” Dipper shrugged, “But you have your own group of friends, wouldn’t I just get in the way?”

“Of course not, I actually prefer spending time with you since you’re more mature,” Wendy said, “I love my friends but I never had to deal with ghosts or a shape shifting monster in a booby trapped secret underground bunker before meeting you.”

“…And that makes you like hanging out with me,” Dipper questioned making a face.

Wendy laughed, “Yeah, that stuff was insanely dangerous, but I always thought Gravity Falls was just some boring old town. Then you show up and find all these cool things that I never knew about.”

“You don’t know the half of it,” Dipper muttered, thinking about all the other things that happened that he didn’t tell Wendy about. “You’re pretty cool too, you fought off the shape shifter and even got us into the bunker in the first place.”

“It would be great if you and Mabel stayed during the year,” Wendy told him, “You told me about the Summerween trickster, so it’d be fun to see what kind of stuff there is during Halloween!”

Dipper smiled widely at the idea of him and Wendy spending Halloween together monster hunting, “That does sound great, I’ll talk it over with Mabel some more, but we still have the rest of the summer to decide.”

“That’s cool, I’m sure Italy would be fun too,” Wendy said, “You’re probably into ruins and stuff.”

The two spent the rest of the day talking, then spent some time on the roof. Dipper was in such a good mood from the day, he actually felt relaxed enough to go to sleep. And at a reasonable hour too! Nothing could ruin this day.

Except a very angry Bill Cipher glaring at him.

“Ahh,” Dipper screamed, surprised by his sudden appearance. “What are you doing here?!”

“I thought I told you to stay away from that Wendy girl,” Bill growled, his eye glowing and body engulfed in blue flames. He was in his human form, so it seemed more terrifying.

But Dipper put on a brave face, standing up to Bill, “You can’t tell me who I can and can’t be friends with! Just because you tricked me into an engagement, doesn’t mean you own me!”

“I told you I was the jealous type, but you still spent the whole day flirting and making goo goo eyes with Red,” Bill shot back, “I don’t care if you have friends, but I didn’t think you were the kind of man who flirted around while in a committed relationship.”

“WE ARE NOT IN A RELATIONSHIP,” Dipper screamed angrily, trying to get Bill to understand that he didn’t want to be engaged to him.

“I also noticed that you thought I had killed or hurt your parents,” Bill said sounding hurt, ignoring Dipper’s outburst, “I”m crazy but I’m not stupid. If I wanted you to marry me, I wouldn’t kill your family, I would threaten them until you agreed to marry me. Use your head pine tree.”

Dipper glared, his eye twitching, “Threatening people I love isn’t much better.”

“Picky, picky, picky, and all the trouble I go to for you. Do you have any idea how hard it was to get a human body of my own,” Bill asked, “I had to eat a lot of babies.” Bill started laughing at the horrified face Dipper made, “I’m just messing with you pine tree, lighten up.”

“You are not funny Bill,” Dipper growled, turning around and crossing his arms.

“Don’t be like that my little pine tree,” Bill said sitting down and pulling Dipper onto his lap, holding him close. He held on to Dipper tighter when he tried to wiggle away from him, “I’m not going to hurt you, I just want to hold you for a while. I wish I could hold you for real, you’re so small and cute.”

“I only seem small because you made your body really tall,” Dipper snapped, “And I’m not cute!”

“Sure you are, remember when you wore that lamb costume for the lamby dance,” Bill reminded, “And you were adorable in that pre-teen wolf boy outfit. I love watching you dance around dressed as animals, or in a towel. Would you mind doing the lamby song and dance for me pine tree?”

Dipper blushed and shook his head, “No way Bill! Get out of my mind!”

Bill hummed then gave Dipper a big grin, “How about this? If you do the lamby dance for me, I’ll leave your mind and I won’t invade your dreams for a whole week? How does that sound? And as an added bonus, you just have to wear lamb ears and a tail instead of the whole costume.”

“….Just lamb ears and tail,” Dipper asked. He wasn’t sure if he could trust Bill, but what could go wrong just by doing a dance? It’s not like Bill could record it or anything. He’d like to be able to sleep without worrying about Bill showing up.

“Do we have a deal,” Bill grinned standing up, offering Dipper a flaming hand.

Dipper stood up and grabbed Bill’s hand, “Deal.” The fire burned brighter, making Dipper close his eyes, crying out and covering himself when he opened them again. Bill was telling the truth when he said he’d just have lamb ears and tail, but all he was wearing was lamb ears and tail. And underwear with the tail was attached to, but it looked like ladies underwear.

Bill’s grin grew even bigger, “Are you going to do the dance Dipper?”

The young boy blushed, looking at the ground. He told himself it was just a dream, and once he finished the dance Bill would leave. “Well who wants a lamby, lamby, lamby?”

“I do! I do,” Bill sang with Dipper.

“So go up and greet your mammy, mammy, mammy.”

“Hi there! Hi There!”

Dipper glared but finished the song, “So march, march, march around the daises. Don’t, don’t, don’t you forget about the baby!”

Bill clapped, “That was wonderful pine tree! I’m glad I remember everything so I’ll always have the memory with me.” Bills grin grew bigger and perverted, really giddy about watching Dipper dance half naked.

“Get out. Get out now,” Dipper said glaring at Bill, wanting him out of his mind like he promised.

“No problem, a deals a deal, and it’s morning anyways,” Bill shrugged, still smiling, “See you later today.”

Dipper woke with a start, seeing the sun shining in his room, Mabel still sleeping in the bed next to his. He pinched himself just to make sure he was awake, then laid back down covering his face with his pillow. Italy was starting to look better and better. Dipper actually hoped that there was a lot of work to do today so he didn’t have to risk seeing Bill. Hopefully he wouldn’t try coming around the Mystery Shack, but if he did, Dipper would have Grunkle Stan get one of his guns.

His thoughts were interrupted by Mabel waking up and yawning loudly, “Morning Dipper, do you think we could call Bill and ask him to buy us pancakes again?”

“No way,” Dipper said sitting up, “I’d rather eat Grunkle Stan’s hairy Stan-cakes then go out to eat with Bill! You have a boyfriend! See if he’ll take you out to breakfast.”

“That’s a great idea,” Mabel gasped excitedly, “Gabe and I can get something to eat then brainstorm new ideas for our puppet show! What do you think is better? A werewolf unicorn fairy princess going to a ball, or Bigfoot teaming up with a dinosaur to find his true love? Ooh, or should I combined them?”

“I really don’t care Mabel,” Dipper sighed irritably, “Go talk about puppets with Gabe or anyone that isn’t me, cause I’m not in the mood.”

Mabel’s face fell, “Okay Dipper,” she said sadly, grabbing a change of clothes before leaving to go take a shower. She did her best to put on a happy face, Gabe wouldn’t want to see frowns on their breakfast date!

Dipper knew he should go apologize to Mabel, he couldn’t take his bad mood out on her. But he just sighed and grabbed the laptop. Sight change of plans, he was going to spend the day alone and try to decode the laptop. He got out a notebook and started writing the numbers down and the words that went with them.

Bill was watching Dipper, shaking his head at how obsessed his little pine tree was getting. He’s seen many meat bags lose their minds obsessing over the mysteries of this small town, including the writer of the journals, he didn’t want that to happen to his sweet little pine tree.

Bill decided to have a talk with shooting star to help out Dipper.

Chapter Text

Mabel was going to have to rethink having Gabe as a boyfriend. He was nice, but he acted like his puppets were alive. Gabe even made out with his puppets. But what was worse was he got in an argument with his puppets, making him leave the diner and sticking Mabel with the bill. She ate her pancakes slowly so she could think of a way to pay.

Luckily a savior with an eye patch came in. “Bill, Bill over here,” Mabel shouted, waving her arms to get the triangle to look over at her. Bill saw Mabel and smiled, walking over and sitting across from her.

“Hey there shooting star, why are you eating your pancakes so slow instead of just stuffing them in your last like yesterday,” Bill asked, his smile never leaving his face.

“It’s kind of embarrassing, I went on a date but he suddenly left, leaving me with the bill,” Mabel said blushing, doing her best to look sad and pathetic in hopes he’d pick up the tab.

Bill giggled and put a twenty on the table, “Now that you owe me one, do you think you can help me with Dipper? Winning him over and making sure his obsessions don’t cost him his sanity,” Bill said. “Also, what do you think of the ring I gave your brother? I thought he wouldn’t want anything flashy, but he doesn’t seem to like it.”

“I don’t think it’s the ring that’s bothering him as much as that you’re the one who gave it to him,” Mabel replied, stuffing the rest of the pancakes in her mouth, “No offense.”

“None taken,” Bill shrugged, “I’m not an idiot, I know he doesn’t trust me...but I want him to be mine.”

“It’s like I always say Bill, there’s love all around us. If you two don’t seem like a good fit, force it,” Mabel grinned, banging her fist on the table lightly.

“I like you shooting star, I feel like we’re kindred spirits,” Bill laughed, “I’m buying a house, maybe you can help me throw a house warming party? It should also help me get close to your brother.”

Mabel bit her lip, she didn’t think Bill was lying about liking Dipper, but she felt like she was betraying him by trying to set them up. “I don’t know Bill, Dipper will probably get angry with me if I helped you...but I can try talking him into at least going on a date with your or something. You hurt Dipper by going after our Grunkle Stan, so...”

Bill cut her off, “I was summoned by Gideon to do so, I have nothing against your great uncle or your family.”

“I know, but it’s going to take a lot for Dipper to trust you,” Mabel told him, “I’m his twin sister, but it still feels like he doesn't trust me.”

“It’s not so much that he doesn't trust you, just that he doesn't think you’re reliable,” Bill replied, “You have let him down a lot, and you don’t do as much for him as he does for you. Which I find as a good thing, since it’s kept Dipper from Wendy,” he growled, like saying her name was poison.

Mabel flinched, and wanted to argue but knew he was right. Dipper saved her from being forced to marry gnomes, broke up with Gideon for her which almost got him killed, helped her get back at Pacifica, gave up his chance to be with Wendy so she could keep Waddles, and gave Mermando reverse CPR to save him. Mabel knew she helped out a lot with those things too, but most of them were her fault to begin with. She wouldn't have had to deal with the gnomes if she wasn't so eager for a boyfriend, or just broke up with Gideon on her own. She asked Dipper to gave Mermando the reverse CPR, and what did she do to thank him? Took a picture of it to black mail him with.

“...Do you want to leave, shooting star, you look like you’re ready to cry,” Bill asked uncomfortably. He had no idea how to deal with a crying female. Or anyone crying that wasn’t begging for their life after a deal gone wrong. But it was funny when that happened.

“Sure,” Mabel said softly, walking out of the diner with Bill.

Bill coughed awkwardly as they walked, noticing Mabel was still sad, “Don’t worry shooting star, despite everything I know pine tree loves you more than anyone else,” he assured her, “No girl could ever take your place.”

A small smile grew on Mabel’s face, “You mean it?”

“I go in Dipper’s mind a lot, you’re his best friend and he would do anything for you,” Bill smiled, “One of the reasons I like pine tree so much is because of how protective and loyal he is.”

Mabel smiled back, “Thanks Bill. I’ll talk to Dipper, but I’ll tell him to at least try being friends with you first.”

“Of course shooting start, I wouldn't want you to do anything that makes you uncomfortable,” Bill said sounding a little irritated that his plan wasn’t going like he wanted it to, but Mabel didn't seem to catch on. A limo drove by then suddenly stopped, reversed, Pacifica stepping out, “Hey, it’s that brat whose great great grandfather took credit for discovering Gravity Falls.”

“What did you call me,” Pacifica glared, “And who are you, I've never seen you around town before?”

“Don’t you have to go win a trophy or something in a hopeless attempt to make your parents love you, or at least get them to say that they’re proud,” Bill asked grinning, knowing how to hit her nerves.

“Bill,” Mabel whispered, tugging on his shirt to get him to stop, thinking he was being too mean. Sure she was only sort of friends with Pacifica, but she didn’t want to hurt her feelings.

Pacifica glared harder and went back in her limo, “I don’t know why I was worried in the first place,” she snapped, making her driver speed off.

“What would Pacifica be worried about,” Mabel pondered.

“Oh, she was just worried about you since you were walking around town with a strange man,” Bill said, “She still views you as a silly little girl, so she thinks I’d take advantage of you. She’s actually really jealous of you, which is why she acts like she doesn’t like you.”

“What? Why would Pacifica be jealous of me,” Mabel asked.

“Part of her families curse,” Bill shrugged. At Mabel’s confused look he continued, “Back when Gravity Falls was first founded, I was summoned by Nathaniel’s wife, who was unhappy in her marriage with a waste shoveling village idiot, and wanted me to do something about it. I told her there was a price, but she didn’t care. So as part of the deal, when the government covered up Quentin Trembly’s existence, I made it so they picked Nathaniel as the town founder. I also threw in some gold cause she wanted to be rich too.”

“So Pacifica’s family history and wealth was all caused by her great-great grandmother selling her soul to you,” Mabel gasped in surprise.

Bill nodded, “Through I didn’t ask for her soul, those are pretty much useless. I took something else.”

“.....Are you going to tell me what it is?”

“Nah, I’ll have you figure it out on your own,” Bill grinned widely.

Mabel pouted, trying to look cute but Bill didn’t give in. “Fine, I’ll figure it out, I’m kind of friends with Pacifica so if we hang out I can find out what the curse is.”

“Good luck to you shooting star,” Bill said tipping his hat to her, “As for me, I got to finish the deal for my house. Luckily the realtor is scared of me, so I can get her to go down on the price.” Meaning he would have it for free, since he didn’t want to waste perfectly good gold. “Tell my little pine tree I said hi.”

“Okay, bye Bill,” Mabel waved, “Thanks for paying for breakfast again!”

A week went by without any sign of Bill, which was starting to worry Dipper. Bill kept his promise to stay out of his dreams, which Dipper was grateful for, but he thought it just meant the demon triangle was up to something else. Mabel told him that Bill was buying a house, but didn’t look into it since Bill would probably say how happy he was that he searched for him.

So Dipper tried to focus on decoding the laptop, but got sidetracked by trying to help Soos find a date. Since nothing can ever just be normal in Gravity Falls, Soos got a dating sim which became obsessed with him, taking over the animatronic’s at Hoo-Ha Owl’s Pizzamatronic Jamboree to destroy them all. But in the end, Soos still got a date for his cousins engagement party. It was a little sad that Melody wasn’t going to be around for much longer, because she was a good fit for Soos, and took almost being killed pretty well.

Mabel wanted to do something to make Melody stay, but Soos thought a long distance relationship could work. Speaking of which, Soos and Melody walked in laughing.

“Hey guys, how was the engagement party,” Mabel asked.

“Pretty boring,” Soos said, “Just boring adult stuff. But there was one upside.”

“Cupcakes,” Melody cheered, giving Mabel and Dipper one. The twins thanked her and ate, Mabel complaining Dipper got more sprinkles.

“Thanks for coming to the engagement party with me, it was boring but I enjoyed it because you were there,” Soos said, making Melody smile and blush. “It’s sad that you’re leaving soon.”

“Actually, I might not be,” Melody cut in, “The reason I was moving back to Portland was because I’m getting evicted from my apartment. But I found a house that had a room for rent, and the owner said I could stay there cheap if I didn’t mind doing some chores.”

“That’s great,” Soos brightened.

“I’m a little uncomfortable living with some random guy, but it’s a pretty big house and he said he’s engaged,” Melody informed them.

Dipper froze for a moment, “Umm...does this owner guy wear an eyepatch, top hat and have a cane?”

“Yeah, how did you know that,” Melody asked amazed.

“I told you Dipper is a pretty good detective,” Soos said.

“Melody, you really shouldn’t,” Dipper was cut off by Mabel who covered his mouth.

“Really shouldn’t wait too long to decide, since someone else might get the room, it sounds like a good deal,” Mabel encouraged, dragging Dipper out of the room. Once they were out of hearing distance she gave him an angry look, “What are you doing? Why would you want Soos girlfriend to move away?”

“She’d be living with Bill, it wouldn’t be safe for her,” Dipper said, “What if Bill uses Melody against Soos? He might make Soos give information or steal the book or something.”

“If that happened, Soos would tell us so we could come up with a plan to save her without giving Bill what he wants,” Mabel argue, “And Bill wouldn’t do that, he likes you.”

Dipper growled in frustration, “You can’t be serious Mabel! Have you really forgot that he helped Gideon just because he bought you breakfast?”

“No, but Bill only helped Gideon because he was summoned,” Mabel said, “Other than that, he’s never really done anything to hurt us. I’m not saying you need to love Bill, but you treat him like a monster who’s going to eat us or something. Maybe Bill would be fine with just being friends.”

“Are you just saying that because he fed us,” Dipper asked, knowing his sister was easily persuaded by food, and glitter and sprinkles. Mabel gave him a sad look and he sighed, “Fine, I’ll give Bill a chance, but only to be friends. I still don’t trust him. Keep your friends close but keep your enemies closer.”

“That’s right, that way once you’re close to your enemies, they become your friends,” Mabel smiled.

“Mabel, that saying actually means...”

“Become friends with your enemies so they’re no longer enemies,” Mabel cut him off, ignoring whatever he was going to say and just assume she was right. “Anyways, Melody should stay in Gravity Falls. What are the chances of Soos meeting another awesome girl who thinks it’s cute he rides small trains and isn’t scared off by crazy ex-girlfriend sims?”

“....Yeah, I guess you got a point,” Dipper agreed. Melody was nice and really seemed to like Soos. A long distance relationship probably wouldn’t work out since Melody could meet someone else. “I’ll talk to Bill about it just to make sure he isn’t plotting anything.”

“Great, do you know where he lives,” Mabel asked.

“No, and I don’t want to, I’ll just wait for him to show up,” Dipper said.

“Are you sure? Maybe you could have a sleep over at his house,” Mabel suggested. “You could get the address from Melody.”

Dipper stared at his sister, “There is nothing, and I meant nothing, that would make me want to spend the night with Bill.”

Suddenly Candy and Grenda came in, wearing their pajama’s and big grins, “Surprise slumber party!”

Mabel squealed excitedly, hugging her best friends. “I got new lip gloss,” Candy giggled.

“And I brought every gushy, girly, sappy werewolf and vampire books I could get,” Grenda said roughly, showing the books which made Dipper pale in horror.

Bill was lodging around his new house, which wasn’t anything too fancy, but pretty big so it would suit his needs for now. He grinned widely when the doorbell rang and saw a grumpy pine tree standing at his doorstep.

“I’m here against my better judgment because I have no other choice,” Dipper grumbled, walking in the house once Bill invited him in. Dipper knew this was a bad idea, but also knew it couldn’t be worse then being in the same room when Mabel had one of her sleep overs.

Chapter Text

Bill was giddy as a school boy, having Dipper all alone in his new house. “So what do you want to do first my little Pine Tree,” Bill asked, cuddling with Dipper on the couch, ignoring the boys struggles to get out of his arms.

Dipper grunted and sighed, “I want you to let me go....and maybe order a pizza since you don’t have any food.” Dipper checked the fridge and cabinets, which were bare.

“I’m not use to food and doing human stuff, that’s why that Melody is going to do chores like shopping and laundry, stuff like that,” Bill shrugged, “But I guess ordering pizza isn’t a bad idea. Get what you want since I’m still not sure what I like and don’t like.”

Grabbing a phone, Dipper called the pizza place, ordering a pepperoni pizza and a liter of pit cola. He thought about getting sausage, but was worried Bill would make a joke, so he thought pepperoni was a safer choice. Luckily Bill had a TV, so they were able to watch a movie to pass the time. Unfortunately the only thing on was the vampire movie “Sparkle Sparkle.”

“You have no idea how many vampires are upset about this series,” Bill commented, “They say it’s a complete insult to them. Some are even planning an uprising to show vampires are real, and they don’t sparkle. But others don’t think it’s a good idea, cause it’s safer for them if people don’t believe they exist.”

“You know vampires,” Dipper questioned, “Are there any here in Gravity Falls? I also agree this movie and the book is stupid, how did it get so popular?”

“A few,” Bill admitted, “They like it here since no one ever notices things going on and the police are idiots. They have lived here since Gravity Falls was founded, yet no one has realized they don’t age and have been alive forever.”

Dipper made a mental note to see who were the oldest living people in Gravity Falls. But he’d have to keep it a secret from Mabel, she’d flip out if she found out there was vampires. “I haven’t heard about any dead bodies being found or people disappearing.”

“They drink animal blood,” Bill explained, “They’re worried they will catch stupid if they drink the blood of anyone who lives here. In the last hundred years they’ve only killed another human in self-defense, bunch of mean vampire hunters.” He noticed the look Dipper was giving him, “The hunters are killing them for no other reason than because their vampires!”

“I guess you have a point,” Dipper said a bit uncomfortably. If they weren't hurting anyone, there was no reason to treat them like monsters. Even if they are technically monsters. Dipper reached into his vest to get the journal to read up on vampires, but remembered that he left it at home so Bill wouldn't take it.

The pizza guy came, Dipper answering the door to make sure the guy got a tip, then brought the pizza and soda in. Dippers stomach growled at the smell of the pizza, realizing how hungry he was. He quickly gobbled down a slice and went for another.

“And here I thought you were going to cut your pizza,” Bill teased.

“No one uses forks to eat pizza, you use your hands,” Dipper said matter of fact, glad Bill didn't make a comment about the shape of the pizza slices.

Bill took a piece of pizza and ate it, “It’s a little greasy, but I like it,” He said as he took another.

They finished the pizza pretty quickly, and were sipping on the soda, an awkward tension starting to build. “So umm...Mabel tells me you cursed the Northwest Family after making them rich and the founders of the town,” Dipper said. It was a random thing to bring up, but Mabel had asked for his help figuring it out, and he could never resist a mystery.

“Yep, I’m sure Shooting Star told you the story,” Bill said, grinning widely, “What would you do for me if I told you what the curse was?”

“I can figure it out on my own,” Dipper said stubbornly, not wanting to give Bill anything else. It couldn't be too hard to figure out a curse that affected a family that was rich and could get anything they wanted. It would have to be something that would be valuable to Bill, or at least amusing or ironic.

“Don’t lose any sleep over it Pine Tree,” Bill said putting an end to his thoughts, “I don’t want you losing your mind, you've seen how the owner of the laptop is.”

“Wait, the person who owns the laptop is still alive,” Dipper asked. That was great! He could find them, ask them to decode their laptop and talk to them about their research. “Who is it?”

“I told you that you’ve seen him before,” Bill coyly replied, “I’m surprised you haven’t already figured it out.”

Dipper glared at Bill for the blow to his ego, “I can’t trust anyone in Gravity Falls, so I try not to get close to people.” That and he was really awkward with people and had a hard time talking to them. He couldn't really talk to people about over everyday things, but can always act smoothly when investigating something. There was probably a word for that.

“Don’t worry about it Pine Tree, lots of boys are awkward at your age,” Bill comforted, wrapping an arm around him and holding him close, “Just take a moment to think Pine Tree, who’s the smartest person in this town?”

‘At least it’s a short list,’ Dipper thought to himself, thinking it over. Whoever the owner of the laptop was, probably made everything they found in the bunker. But who could make that kind of stuff? Suddenly, it became very obvious.

“Old Man McGucket,” Dipper shouted.

“See, I told you that you could figure it out,” Bill shouted back.

“I’ll find him and ask him about the laptop,” Dipper shouted again.

“I’ll go with you!”

“I can do it on my....wait, why are we both shouting,” Dipper questioned, calming down.

Bill shrugged, “I was only shouting because you were shouting.”

“Yeah, but it was know what, never mind,” Dipper said, “Anyways, I can go see McGucket on my own, I wouldn’t be comfortable with you there.”

“You would be more comfortable being alone around a crazy old man who builds killer robots and lives in the dump, than going there with a magical being who can protect you,” Bill asked sounding skeptical. “And don’t stay that you don’t need protecting. You’ve had so many near death experience that I had to keep a Reaper from following you everywhere.”

Dipper was going to argue when something caught his attention, “A Reaper? You mean like the Grim Reaper?”

“Yeah, only there’s more than one,” Bill explained, “There’s billions of humans on Earth now, that’s too much work for just one Reaper, so there are millions all over the world waiting for people to die. Some people who have a lot of near death experiences have a reaper just follow them around, usually dare devils, circus entertainers and jobs that involve being around sharp dangerous objects.”

“......So do you want to get breakfast before or after talking to old man McGucket?”

“Depends when you want to go since the diner doesn't open till nine and you usually like to get things done early,” Bill said, “Then again, we might have to look around for the old man since he falls asleep at random places a lot.”

“Yeah, Mabel and I found him sleeping in the mini golf place,” Dipper let out a yawn, looking at his watch and seeing it was close to ten, “Wow, the night went by fast.”

“You had a long few days Pine Tree, try to get some sleep.” Bill noticed Dipper getting ready to speak but stopped him, “I promise not to go into your dreams.”

“I’m more worried about what you might do to my body,” Dipper muttered.

Bill gasped, putting a hand on his chest where he thought the heart was and looking offended, “I would never do something like that when you were sleeping, my sweet little Pine Tree. I would want you to be awake for the whole thing.”

Dipper glared at Bill, “First off, the heart is on the left side of your body. Second, what makes you think that would comfort me? At all?”

“It lets you know I won’t touch your cute little body while your sleeping,” Bill grinned.

“Are you trying to sound creepy,” Dipper glared, irritation in his voice.

“To be honest, I don’t know how else to sound since I normally only talk to people when making deals and I like to scare them,” Bill admitted. He hasn’t had much human interaction in the last hundred years or so since people have started to stop believing magic, demons and monsters. It was like Bill turned his back for a second and suddenly technology took over everything. Not that Bill wasn’t impressed with modern times and all technology could do, it was just putting hard working demons like himself out of work.

People use to go to magic to find their soul mate, but now there were these things called dating sites where you could talk to people all over the world. If someone wanted a child they could adopt instead of having a demon steal one for them. Not to mention medicine to help with pregnancy. Want to get away from your husband? Get a divorce. Of course there was still people who needed help, but they always asked “god” to fix their problems.

If you want something done, you ask a demon, it’s as simple as that.

Dipper sat next to Bill who was currently staring off into space, his eye started to glow. He said Bill’s name a few times but the demon seemed to be lost in thought. The awkward silence was starting to unnerve Dipper so he got up to look for a bedroom. There was three bedrooms, but Dipper couldn't tell which one was Bill’s since there wasn’t anything in them except a bed.

“I guess it’s better than having pictures of me all over his room,” Dipper said to himself as he picked a random room and crawled in the bed. He must have been more tired than he originally thought since he fell asleep moments after his head hit the pillow.

Bill came up a little later looking for Dipper, and was happy he was finally getting some sleep. He frowned when he heard Dipper whimpering in his sleep, no doubt nightmares about things that have tried to kill him. Despite what Bill said earlier, he went to Dippers side, brushing up his hair so he could see his birthmark.

The dream demon leaned down and kissed Dipper on the forehead. Instantly, Dipper calmed down and slept peacefully, the nightmares being chased away.

“Sweet dreams my little Pine Tree,” Bill whispered, petting Dipper before going to his own room to recharge his human body.

Chapter Text

Dipper woke up yawning and smiling. He could’t remember the last time he ever slept that well. It was the first time this summer where he didn’t wake up in a cold sweat and screaming. “I can’t believe how great it feels to get a full nights sleep,” Dipper said, turning to look at Mabel but suddenly remembered where he was. “Oh right...”

With a sigh, Dipper laid back down on the bed, wishing he didn’t since it was so comfy he didn’t want to sit back up. Thinking it wouldn’t hurt to lay in bed for five more minutes, he settled back into be, then shot up when he saw what the time was. “Ahhh! Bill! Bill wake up,” Dipper shouted, putting on his shoes and vest.

“What’s wrong Pine Tree,” Bill asked barging in, ready to use his cane as a weapon for whatever might be causing Dipper’s screaming.

“We need to go, it’s almost noon,” Dipper shouted again, grabbing his bag and the laptop. He wanted to get an early start on finding McGucket cause he’d probably have to go all over town looking for the crazy old man.

Bill gasped, “Oh no! What time does Greasy’s Diner stop serving breakfast? Do we still have time to get there?”

Dipper glared, trying to lead Bill out the door. “I’m talking about finding McGucket and asking about his laptop.”

“Are you sure we can’t get breakfast first,” Bill whined.

“Technically it would be brunch, and yes I’m sure,” Dipper argued, leaving the triangles house.

Bill pouted but followed Dipper, not wanting him to go off on his own. “We should probably check the dump first. If McGucket isn’t there, he’s either wandering through town or building something to get his sons attention.”

They arrived at the dump, Bill’s nose crinkling in disgust, “You meat bags are so disgusting and wasteful. There’s so much half eaten food, toys, bodies someone didn’t bother to properly dispose of, and things that should be recycled.”

“What,” Dipper shouted, eyes wide in shock.

“I know, is it really that hard to sort out things for recycling? And what about compost? Meat bags really need to take better care of your world,” Bill scolded, in a tone that made it hard for Dipper to figure out if Bill was just messing with him or not.

A sudden noise got Dippers attention, slowly heading towards it. “Old man McGucket,” Dipper said cautiously, not wanting to spook him and make him go crazy. McGucket could have something dangerous on him.

“Why, hello there boys, what can I do for ya,” McGucket asked showing up behind them, making Dipper scream. “Ahh! Banshee,” McGucket shouted once Dipper screamed, trying to attack the pre-teen but Bill stopped him.

“Umm...Mr. McGucket, is this your laptop,” Dipper asked a little nervously, offering the old man the device.

McGucket took the laptop and just stared at it for so long that even Bill was getting uncomfortable with the awkward silence. Suddenly, McGucket started screaming at the top of his lungs, bashing the laptop over his head until it broke. “Destroy the evil! DESTORY THE EVIL!” He pulled out a whistle and blew on it.

Dipper cried out in horror when McGucket destroyed the laptop, and cried even louder when his whistle summoned up a laser gun from under a pile of trash. How does he keep forgetting that McGucket is a mad scientist? Dipper tried to look for cover, but Bill summoned a magic barrier that made the laser bounce off.

“I would kindly suggest that you don’t fire at my young friend here again,” Bill growled, his eye glowing to show his anger. “Nor should you harm him in anyway or else I will be very, very upset.”

Old Man McGucket ran off, screaming “Evil.” The laser retreated back into the garbage pile like it was never there, Dipper just staring in shock. He just knew that no one else in town saw or heard the laser and that no one would believe it.

“...Aren’t you suppose to kiss me as thanks for saving you,” Bill questioned, kind of hoping to at least get a kiss on the cheek.

Dipper just fell to his knees, picking up the broken remains of the laptop. He had been so close to figuring everything out and now the best clue he had was destroyed. Even Soos couldn’t fix it. The worse part of it was that even through the laptop was destroyed, his deal with Bill still stands. That would have been the only good thing.

Bill waved his hand in front of Dipper’s face and lightly shook him, but he was really out of it. Sighing, Bill picked Dipper up and carried him to the diner, thinking they could use something to eat. He set Dipper on chair and the brunette buried his face in his arms.

“I was so close,” Dipper whined, “I should have just kept trying to decode it myself instead of giving it to a crazy old man. Why would he even react that way?”

Lazy Susan came by their table, dropping off chocolate milk shakes with greasy burgers and fries, “I brought your usual boys, enjoy.”

“Wait, how do we have a usual,” Dipper asked since they didn’t come here often and Bill just came to Gravity Falls. In a human form anyways.

“My meat bag body requires sleep, but when it’s sleeping my true form is free to do what it wants,” Bill explained eating some of his fries, “I was bored last night so I decided to do some memory manipulation around town. So now Lazy Susan thinks we come here all the time and order this for lunch.”

Dipper noticed that the burger was made up just how he liked it, so he figured Bill looked into his mind too. He took a big bite of the burger, grease dripping down his chin. Dipper hadn’t had a good burger since he came to Gravity Falls, Grunkle Stan too cheap to feed them and he saved the money his parents gave him for emergencies. The greasy food lifted his spirits a bit, but he was still upset about the laptop, asking Bill if he knew what that was about.

“McGucket use to be a lot like you, he noticed the weird things around Gravity Falls, through he never found one of the journals,” Bill explained drinking his shake. “And, like you, he got obsessed with it...”

“I’m not obsessed,” Dipper interrupted, “It’s not like it’s the only thing I ever think about.”

“You’re either obsessed with mysteries or Red,” Bill told him, “Plus, you’re still young, McGucket lost his mind over the years. It cost him everything. His wife left him, he was forced into an early retirement and lost his sons love. Soon after, he completely lost his sanity.”

“Wow, poor McGucket,” Dipper said. The old guy had nothing because of his obsession. But that wouldn’t happen to him right? Through his desire to learn the secrets got him engaged to Bill.

“Oh, like that’s the worse thing in the world,” Bill rolled his eye, reading Dipper’s mind. He gave a wide grin at the annoyed look Dipper gave him. “Hey, in an alternate time line I took control of your body instead.”

Dipper glared at the older man...triangle in human form...or whatever. He didn’t like having his mind invaded like that, how would get ever get any privacy? It would be different if he could tell what Bill was thinking, cause while his face was expressive he could still be hiding a lot.

“I could teach you to read minds if you’re interested Pine Tree,” Bill hummed, biting into his burger. His eyes widened and he took a bigger bite, “These things are great! No wonder you meat bags risk early death by eating these!”

“So could you really teach me how to read minds,” Dipper asked. It would be a useful skill to have, through it would also get annoying if he kept hearing people’s thoughts. It would be like the time Mabel gave Stan teeth that would force him to always tell the truth. He pre-teen shuttered at the thought of knowing what was really going on in people’s minds.

Bill finished his burger before talking again, “Sure can Pine Tree, and magic too. I’ll do that for free since I want you to be able to defend yourself if I’m not with you. Trouble finds you as easily as you find it, Pine Tree. Luckily you seem to be naturally gifted with magic, you were able to follow me into the dream scape with no trouble. It takes more than knowing how to do it to able to follow through.”

“Wow, really? I have magic,” Dipper questioned looking down at his hands like he was expecting lighting to shoot out of them. Could he shoot lighting from his hands? That would be so awesome!

“Glad you’re excited Pine Tree,” Bill grinned, since now he and Dipper could spend lots of time together. Maybe even have more sleep overs! “We’ll start with the basics but I’m sure you’ll pick them up quickly.”

“You really think so,” Dipper excitedly ask, the stroking of his ego making him more open. “What are you going to teach me first?”

Bill thought for a moment, tapping his chin, “Hmm....I guess start levitating things to start out, maybe hypnotism. Not really magic but it’s a useful skill. And I guess basic shape shifting, changing eye color, nothing too difficult.”

None of it sounded too exciting, but Dipper understood that it probably wouldn’t be safe to have him start shooting fire or lighting from his hand right away. If nothing else he could use the shape shifting to make himself taller by an inch at least. “Do I get a wand?”

The triangle burst out laughing, very loudly, getting the attention of everyone in the restaurant, “Ha ha ha, you’re hilarious Pine Tree!”

“You could have just said no,” Dipper mumbled, slouching in the seat to avoid people’s gaze.


“Glad to see you didn’t make a complete mess of our room this time,” Dipper said looking around the trashed room, Grenda spooning with the goat that was always around the shack. How does Gompers keep getting into the house? He was pretty sure no one ever lets him in. Then again it wasn’t like a goat breaking into a house is the most weird thing that happened in this town.

“Why are you screaming? Do you have any idea what time it is” Mabel groaned covering her ears with a pillow.

“I’m not screaming and it’s two in the afternoon,” Dipper told his twin who just snuggled into the bed. “You better not be up all night, and if you are, I might need your help. I’m back to square one since the laptop got destroyed, and I doubt McGucket will be willing to talk about it since when I brought it up he tried to kill me with a laser.”

“That’s nice,” Mabel said with a yawn, trying to get back to sleep.

Dipper sighed, laying on his bed after shaking all the glitter and junk off, then tried to think. He lost the best lead he had. The only other lead was that maybe McGucket also wrote the journals, but had no idea how to talk to him without getting shot at. Getting out the journal he looked through it again for any clues he might have missed.

Hours passed by quicker than Dipper realized, the sun having set by the time he looked out the window. “Wow, time goes by fast when you’re trying to uncover a conspiracy,” he said to himself. Rolling his eyes at his still sleeping sister, he made his way downstairs for a soda, needing some caffeine. “Hey Grunkle Stan, have you gone shopping lately,” he shouted out but got no answer.

Reasoning that his great uncle was out with a late tour he went to the kitchen to look through the fridge, “Would it kill Grunkle Stan to go shopping more than once a month,” he mumbled staring at the almost bare fridge, wondering why anyone would buy or even make toothpaste flavored soda.

Just as Dipper was about to give up and go back upstairs, a burlap sack was thrown over his head by someone who then started to carry him away. “Hey! What are you doing?! Let me go! Mabel! Grunkle Stan! Help me!” Dipper struggled in his captures hold who just held him tighter. Someone then started to tie ropes around him, binding his arms to his sides so all he could do was try kicking them. “I’m serious, let me go!”

“Shut it kid,” a rough voice that sounded vaguely familiar, but Dipper didn’t get the chance to think about it since they hit him hard on the head, knocking him out.

Before he completely went out, he muttered out “Bill...” in a desperate attempt to be saved, before slipping into unconsciousness.

Chapter Text

Bill was outraged, angry, pissed, other word for angry. They may have to come up with a new word to describe how angry he was. Someone has taken his sweet little Pine Tree so he was going to kill them and anyone else that stood in his way. The people in this town were idiots, they wouldn't think anything of people disappearing. They would also have to find a new word for torture once he found Dipper’s kidnappers.

Luckily Bill, knowing Dippers habit of getting into trouble, was able to track Dipper down by the ring. He was never letting Dipper out of his sight again. Maybe lock him in a tower somewhere. “I’m coming Pine Tree,” Bill shouted, off to save his favorite meat bag.

Dipper woke with a groan, his head pounding. The sack as still covering his head so he couldn't see where he was and was still tied up but this time to a chair. The bag was suddenly taken off, Dipper finding himself in a with cloaked figures, all with the same eye symbol that he knows he’s seen before. Robes were never a good thing, so he was in bigger trouble than he thought.

“What’s going on, untie me,” Dipper demanded, starting to struggle in the chair.

“Tell us what you have seen Dipper Pines,” one of the robed figures asked.

Dipper was about to ask how they knew his name, but remembered Gravity Falls was a small town, and people probably knew who he was because of him and Mabel taking down Gideon, “I’m not telling you anything until I know what’s going on!”

The figures whispered and murmured to themselves before one of them walked forward, removing his hood and showing a pale bald man with tattoos on his head resembling a phrenology map. “We are the Blind Eye Society and I am the leader, Blind Ivan.”

“Bit of an ego there,” Dipper commented, thinking the man named the society after himself.

Ivan glared at Dipper but continued, “It is our duty... stop giggling Toby! It is our duty to keep the inhabitants of Gravity Falls blind to the supernatural creatures living around us.”

“So wait, do you call yourself Blind Ivan because of the Blind Eye Society or call it the Blind Eye Society because your name is Blind Ivan,” Dipper asked, “Also, your name is a little misleading since you’re not actually blind, not to mention blind people might find it offensive.”

Ivan gave Dipper another angry look but calmed down, “It doesn’t matter, you’re going to forget about it soon enough,” he said pulling out a ray gun.

“You’re going to kill me,” Dipper shouted in horror. There was so much he wanted to do! Become an explorer/hunter of the supernatural, be over five feet tall, go to college. He’s never even kissed someone before!

“Relax, we’re just erasing your memory,” Blind Ivan said, “That’s what we do. When someone see’s a supernatural creature we capture them and erase their memories of it.”

“Oh,” Dipper sighed, calming down a little, “But I don’t want you to erase my memories! I’ve seen and done so much! Fought gnomes, multi-bear, giant robots, zombies, solved a mystery, time traveled and uncovered a conspiracy! I don’t want to forget about any of that!

“...We were just going to erase your memories of Old Man McGucket shooting at you with a laser,” Bud Gleeful said.

“But now it seems we need to erase all your summer memories,” Ivan said, putting it into the ray gun.

“No! Wait, you can’t! My family...,” Dipper stopped himself, not wanting them to go after Mabel, Stan or any of his friends, “My family will find it strange that I forgot my entire summer! And I’ll find it weird too and try to discover how I lost my memory! I’m a very curious guy!”

Ivan just shrugged, “Then we’ll just capture you and erase your memories again. You weren’t hard to kidnap the first time.”

“But what if erasing my memory over and over again does something to my mind,” Dipper asked.

“It’s a small price to pay for the safety of everyone in Gravity Falls,” Ivan said with another shrug.

“You’re not keeping them safe by hiding the truth from them,” Dipper shouted angrily, “If you want to keep them safe, teach them how to defend themselves against the supernatural! They can be safe from most of the creatures just from carrying some salt with them!”

“...Maybe you’re right,” Ivan said, before writing something on the ray gun and aiming it at himself, “And now that’s gone.”

Dipper paled as once again the ray gun was pointed at him. This was it, he was going to forget everything. Now his family and friends were at risk since they would no doubt help him find out what happened to his memories. He shut his eyes tightly when Ivan started to pull the trigger, only to be interrupted by the doors being blown open.

“WHERE IS MY PINE TREE,” Bill roared as he came in the room, his eyepatch gone and his eye glowing, blue flames coming from his hands. The society members looked around in confusion, looking around for a tree, making Bill face palm, “Dipper, give me back Dipper.”

“Bill, you have no idea how happy I am to see you,” Dipper said smiling, glad he came to his rescue. He’s never been that happy to see Bill, but for once was glad he showed up.

Ivan shot the ray gun at Bill, grinning thinking he won. But Bill just glared at him, his eyes red, making the other members cower in fear. “Why isn’t this working,” Ivan said in a panic, shaking the ray gun.

“I may have a meat bag body, but my mind is still that of a energy being, your weapon is useless against me,” Bill said, moving closer and knocking it from Ivan’s hands. “Now I’m going to kill the society of the Blind Eye, which is a shame, I kind of liked the group, but you hurt my little Pine Tree so you all have to die. Since you’re the leader, I’ll make your death the most slow and painful,” Bill said with a sickeningly sweet smile.

“What? Bill, you can’t kill them,” Dipper shouted.

“Sure I can, and I can get rid of their bodies so they’re never found,” Bill smiled, the big guy with tattoos crying in a corner.

“I know what they have been doing is wrong, but they don’t deserve to die,” Dipper argued.

“All I care about is that they hurt you Pine Tree,” Bill sighed, looking at his favorite meat bag, “But if it really bothers you that much, I guess I can spare them and we can just erase their memories.”

Dipper gave Bill a smile, “Thanks Bill.”

Bill untied Dipper and binded the Blind Eye Society members, Dipper using the ray guy to wipe their memories clean of the Society. “If nothing else, I can enjoy the irony of their main weapon being used against them,” Bill grinned.

The ex members of the Blind Eye Society walked out of the museum, all of them looking confused and wondering why they were there. Ivan walked up to them, looking lost and scared, “I’m sorry, you know who I am?”

“May have over done it a little,” Dipper said rubbing the back of his neck.

Bill closed his eyes for a moment, humming before giving a wide grin, “Your name is Toot-Toot McBumbersnazzle and you are a traveling banjo minstrel,” Bill said, tossing him a banjo.

Ivan seemed to except that answer and walked away smiling while playing the banjo. Dipper gave Bill a look who just shrugged, “That’s what Mabel called him in an alternate time line, I decided to use it because it was funny. The guy clearly didn’t have friends or family since his whole life was involved around the Blind Eye.”

“I guess you’re right,” Dipper sighed, crying out when he was suddenly pulled into a tight hug by Bill.

“I’m really happy you’re safe Pine Tree,” Bill said, holding him close like he was worried someone might steal him away again.

“Well I’m okay thanks to you,” Dipper said, looking around to make sure no one was watching, giving Bill a really fast kiss on the cheek, “Thanks for saving me and not killing anyone.”

Bill grinned widely and nuzzled Dipper, “Anything for you my little Pine Tree.” Bill started to carry Dipper back to his place, holding him tighter whenever he wiggled in his arms.

“I can walk Bill,” Dipper mumbled, his face red in embarrassment as some people stared at them.

“I know, but I feel better knowing your safe in my arms,” he hummed cheerfully.

Dipper groaned and covered his face with his hands, glad it was late so there wasn’t many people out. Dipper was more exhausted than he thought, since he ended up falling asleep in Bill’s arms before they reached his place.

“Aww, my cute little Pine Tree,” Bill smiled, laying Dipper on his bed and giving him a kiss on the forehead to make sure he didn’t have any nightmares. And speaking of nightmares....

He promised Dipper he wouldn’t kill the members of the disbanded Blind Eye Society, but in his eye they hadn’t suffered enough. They hurt his Pine Tree, judging by the bump on his head, and were going to erase all his memories. So he was going to give them nightmares too horrible for them to comprehend and drive them insane. Most of them were weak minded so it wouldn’t take long.

Toby Determined would probably break first, Bill knew it would be fun to watch. He would give nightmares to Gideon too for making Dipper bleed, but the kid figured out how to block him from his mind. That wasn’t going to stop Bill, already thinking of ways to torment the big haired weirdo. Maybe get his cell mate to shave off his head in his sleep.

Bill laid down next to Dipper, closing his eye and letting himself leave his meat bag body to be back in his energy form. Bill let out an evil laugh, eye glowing red and flames engulfing his body before he vanished to cause some nightmares.

Dipper woke up around six, mumbling about how he had to stop sleeping in his clothes and curled up to the body next to him. His eyes shot open when he realized he wasn’t alone and screamed, seeing Bill next to him. He calmed down and poked Bill’s side to wake him up. “Come on Bill, I could go for some pancakes.” He didn’t get a response so he shook Bill, but he still didn’t move.

“Bill, this isn’t funny,” Dipper said, his voice cracking. He lifted Bill’s arm only for it to go limp and realized how cold he was. “Wake up,” Dipper said louder, shaking him harder. He teared up and started to search for a pulse and heart beat. He found it but it was faint. He started to tear up, wondering if he should take Bill to the hospital, since there was a chance he could still be saved.

After trying to move Bill with no luck, Dipper started crying, sitting on the edge of the bed sniffling and wiping his eyes. He was so busy trying to stop the tears that he didn’t notice the movement next to him.

“Morning Pine Tree....Why are you crying?”

“Bi...Bill, you’re alive,” Dipper weakly said, turning to look at him.

“I guess so, depends on what you mean by alive,” Bill shrugged and started to stretch, letting out a groan. “I shouldn’t leave this body unoccupied for so long, it starts to die out on me. Pine Tree, where are you going?”

“I’m going home,” Dipper muttered, wiping his eyes and leaving the bedroom.

“Don’t you want to get breakfast first,” Bill asked following him, “Did I do something wrong Pine Tree? Dipper?”

Dipper didn’t respond or look back so Bill had a feeling he was in some big trouble.

Chapter Text

“Come on Pine Tree, tell me what’s wrong so I can fix it,” Bill whined as he followed Dipper around.

“It’s fine Bill, I’m over it,” Dipper growled out. He was still upset about it, but he was more angry at himself. Just because something happened to the body Bill was in doesn’t mean that Bill was gone. He shouldn’t be so emotional about it. Sure, Bill saved him and he wasn’t the type of person who would wish anyone dead, but he felt like he over reacted.

Maybe Bill was starting to become like a friend. He doesn’t have many people to hang out with, and it probably helps to hunt supernatural creatures with a supernatural creature. Still, it had hurt so much when he thought Bill was dead.

“I can’t make it better if you don’t talk to me Pine Tree,” Bill said, trying to get Dipper to tell him what was wrong. He knew it was because of him Pine Tree had being crying so he wanted to fix it. That’s what good boyfriends did right?

They reached the Mystery Shack and Dipper sighed, “I’m grateful that you saved me last night, but can I have some time alone?”

Bill wanted to say no, wanting to fix whatever was wrong, but his Pine Tree looked so sad and tired he couldn’t deny him. “Sure, I’ll talk to you later Pine Tree.” Dipper gave him a small smile and went inside, Bill sitting down on a tree stump. A smirk made it’s way onto Bill’s face as he pulled out a packet of smile dip, ripping open the package.

Seconds later, Mabel ran out the door, looking around, “I smell Smile Dip,” she said excitedly, lighting up when she saw Bill and the candy. “Gimme!”

“Hold on Shooting Star, I’ll only give it to you if you agree to help me with something,” Bill said.

“With what,” Mabel asked, knowing she shouldn’t agree right away despite really wanting the candy.

“I messed things up with Pine Tree so I need your help making it up to him,” Bill said waving the packet in front of her.

“Deal,” Mabel said, taking the packet then pouring the sugar in her mouth. Her eyes dilated and she fell to the ground, starting to chew on something that wasn’t there.

“Looks like Shooting Star is having fun, I should join her,” Bill said excitedly, laying down and leaving his body to join Mabel in her sugar coma dream.

After talking to Mabel in her dream and riding a muscular dolphin together, they managed to think of a way to help Bill get back on Dipper’s good side. They then spent time eating a candy dog and rainbows, which oddly enough did not taste like candy. Once Mabel woke up, Bill went back into his body and went into the woods.

“I wonder if I also give Pine Tree some deer teeth,” Bill thought out loud as he pulled teeth out of a struggling deer. He hated that he couldn’t freeze time in a meat bag body, it made this so much harder. Bill only got a few teeth out before the deer kicked him in the face and ran. Huffing in annoyance Bill kept walking until he found the cave he was looking for.

Once it was dark enough he hit his cane against the cave walls, ducking as large vampire bats came flying out of the cave, heading towards the town. Now all he had to do was wait for Dipper go find out and stop them. Everyone will view Dipper as a hero and he’ll be happy again. He would keep a close eye out incase it was too much for Dipper to handle, he didn’t want his Pine Tree getting hurt.

Screams could be heard in town, everyone trying to stay away from the large bats. Bill decided to watch, since it was always fun seeing meat bags run around in terror. It always revealed a lot about humanity. Some would shove everyone else out of the way to keep themselves safe, parents would protect their children, through Bill recalled their being some parents who would use their children as a shield. Bill always made sure the parents got what was coming to them. And there was always a small handful of people who would give up their lives to save everyone.

In town, most of the small children stuck close to their parents or were being carried by them, everyone else hiding under or in things, or go into buildings. A big guy who Bill was pretty sure was Red’s father was punching the bats while his boys cheered for under a car. Sheriff Blubs and Deputy Durland, the only officers in town looked like they were going to try to take control of the situation, but ducked in horror whenever a bat got close.

The demonic triangle watched and laughed as one of the bats managed to get entangled in Lazy Susan’s hair. His face lit up when he saw his little Pine Tree running into town, dodging bats that came flying at him.

Dipper ran into a pizza place, hoping to find some garlic. But they didn’t have any cloves so Dipper decided to use garlic sauce since it was better than nothing. He climbed up to the roof, dropping and throwing little cups off garlic sauce at the vampire bats. It didn’t seem to cause them much pain, but bothered them enough that it made them start flying back to the woods. Seeing that it worked, Dipper kept throwing the sauce at the bats, other people joining in to help. Some of them were even able to get large pots of hot garlic butter and spill it on the bats.

Unfortunately the town ran out of garlic stuff to throw and there was still one large angry bat left. The sheriff and deputy were up in the bell tower, crying and holding each other. But his little Pine Tree was fearless, climbing up to the bell tower, grabbing Blubs taser, (which the old man never thought to use) then tried to hit the bat.

“You should take a picture of that, it’d be a great front page story,” Bill whispered to Toby Determined, popping up behind him. The reporter fumbled with his camera for a moment before snapping a picture.

The next morning, Dipper was smiling as he read the paper, happy he was on the front page and that the picture of him looked super cool.

“Ya did good kid,” Grunkle Stan said ruffling Dipper’s hair affectionately “Too bad you didn’t get a cash award or anything, but at least the Mystery Shack might get more business. If anyone asks for an autograph remember to charge them for it.”

Dipper rolled his eyes, not surprised his great uncle would down play it like that and complain about money. But if nothing else at least he seemed proud, and not upset that he got involved with the supernatural. “Thanks Grunkle Stan, I’ll be sure to remember that.”

“I can’t believe my brother made the front page of a newspaper,” Mabel squealed, starting to cut it out so she could add it to her scrapbook. “You’re a total hero bro bro! I should make you a cape!”

“All in a day’s work Mabel,” Dipper said puffing out his chest. “And it’s not like I did it on my own, the whole town helped.”

“But they only figured out what to do when you showed them Pine Tree,” Bill grinned walking into the living room.

“Bill, how did you get in here,” Dipper asked, surprised to see him.

“Front door was open,” Bill grinned, “I just wanted to stop by and see Gravity Fall’s new hero. Who knows what they would have done if you hadn’t shown up? Especially since their best defense is Blubs and Durland.”

“I’m surprised that those two are the only cops in Gravity Falls,” Dipper mused, “I know Gravity Falls isn’t big but you’d think they’d need more than two cops for the place. Or at least some that are better suited.”

“Don’t be too worried about the town. Gravity Falls has you to protect it now,” Bill praised.

Dipper couldn’t help but blush at the compliment. He kind of liked the idea of being the hero of Gravity Falls, through knew the hype would die down. People have already seemed to forgotten about him and Mabel taking down Gideon. People also seemed to forget about Gideon. Which wouldn’t be so bad if that didn’t mean they’d probably forget about the giant robot and go back to believing he’s psychic.

“I’m sure it’s just a matter of time before some kind of world ending crisis arrives and it’s up to you to save it,” Bill said, “Or people coming to you for supernatural help. With the Society of the Blind Eye gone, people need to learn how to deal with all the creatures living around the town.”

“And I’m just the man for the job,” Dipper claimed, puffing out his chest proudly.

Mabel out out an excited gasp, “If supernatural and fantasy creatures become fact, I can find Mermando again and get together to show everyone we can all get along!”

Dipper gave Mabel a smile, not wanting to crush her dreams since it was a big ocean and it was unlikely she would see him again. Even if she did, Mermando would probably end up getting captured and experimented on by the government. That made him think of those agent guys who came here awhile ago that got eaten by zombies. Hopefully they didn’t have families or anything.

“So how about I take the towns hero and his adorable sister out for some breakfast,” Bill suggested cheerfully, mostly as a test to see if Dipper was upset with him.

“Yay! Let’s go to Greasy’s and get some pancakes,” Mabel cheered loudly.

“Yeah, I guess I could go for some pancakes,” Dipper said, smiling up at Bill.

Bill smiled back, glad his Pine Tree wasn’t angry anymore. “Better get going before it gets too crowded, and I may try waffles this time. Not sure what they are but they sound funny.”

“After we eat I’m going to pile up on snacks,” Dipper said, “Tomorrow there’s a Ghost Harasser’s marathon on the Use To Be About History Channel.”

“Sound great,” Bill smiled, taking Dipper’s hand and smiling wider when he didn’t pull away.

Chapter Text

It was the morning after the party, Dipper was watching what was left of the “Ghost Harassers” marathon on the Use to Be about History Channel with Bill. The triangle laughed at the humans attempt to communicate with ghosts, but noticed Dipper wasn’t paying attention.

“What’s the matter Pine Tree,” Bill asked poking his cheek to get his attention.

Dipper sighed, “I guess I’m a little worried about Pacifica.”

Bill pouted at Dipper thinking about the blond girl, especially after they hugged, but didn’t say anything since jealousy tend to ruin relationships and he just got back on Dippers good side. “Why are you worried about Llama? She got rid of the ghost and the curse.”

“Yeah, but what about her parents,” Dipper cut in, “What if they’re angry at her for letting in the town’s people? You saw how they controlled her with a bell, who knows what they do if she doesn’t listen to them?”

“Would you feel better if we went to check up on her,” Bill asked him, knowing Dipper would keep worrying about it until he knew Llama was okay. It just seemed to be in his nature to be concerned for people.

Dipper smiled and nodded, getting up. The two walked through town, everyone talking about the party last night and how fancy it was. Dipper thought Pacifica did a great thing, but knew her parents probably didn’t feel the same way.

“Let me talk to the parents Pine Tree,” Bill said, “I’m fancy like they are so they’ll listen to me, plus they probably blame you for “corrupting” their daughter.” Through all that was true, that wasn’t the reason Bill knew they would listen to him.

“Are you planning something Bill,” Dipper asked suspiciously, “I don’t trust that smile you have.”

“Don’t worry Pine Tree, it’s just something to make sure they won’t hurt Llama,” Bill said, “I’ll even make them get rid of that bell.”

“Good, parents shouldn’t train their kids like dogs,” he said angrily. Bill loved it when Dipper got all angry and passionate about something. It was adorable.

They arrived at the mansion, pressing an intercom to get the gate to open. “I’m sorry, but the Northwest’s are not seeing visitors at the moment,” a voice said, Dipper assuming it was the butler.

“Tell them that a Mr. Cipher is here to see them,” Bill hummed. They had to wait less than a minute for the gate to open, Bill and Dipper scrolling in.

“Mr. Cipher, what a pleasant surprise,” Preston Northwest nervously greeted, tugging on his collar. His nervousness turned to anger when he saw Dipper, “What is he doing here?”

Bill stood in front of Dipper protectively, “He’s with me,” he grinned, loving the expression on Mr. Northwest’s face, “Dipper, why don’t you go play with Pacifica while the adults talk?”

The parents tried to object, not wanting Dipper anywhere near their daughter, but were shut up by a glare from Cipher. Dipper went off to find Pacifica, a butler polite enough to point him in the right direction.

“Pacifica,” Dipper called out in a hall that her room was supposed to be down, not wanting to knock on every door.

“Dipper,” Pacifica called back, opening the door to her room, seeming hesitant to leave so Dipper went to her. “What are you doing here?”

Dipper blushed a bit, rubbing the back of his neck, a little embarrassed to admit why he was here, “Well…I was worried about you. I wasn’t sure how much trouble you were in with your parents.”

Pacifica blushed at the confession, not use to people caring about her well-being unless it involved her appearance. “So far all they did was tell me to send me to my room until they can think of a proper punishment.” She rubbed her cheek subconsciously, silently telling Dipper that more happened than she let on. “I’m surprised they let you in, much less see me.”

“I had some help,” he admitted. Dipper assumed Bill messed with their memories to think he was someone really important that they didn’t want to cross. “How are you holding up?”

“Despite knowing I’m going to get punished…I feel good. I know I did the right thing,” Pacifica said, “I like knowing that I’m not like the rest of my family. It gets annoying having to be perfect all the time and everything I do controlled. The moment I showed an interest in miniature golf my parents had me take private lessons and do competitions. I’m only allowed to do stuff if I’m the best at it.”

“Do you even like mini golf,” Dipper asked.

“I do, but my parents suck the fun out of it,” Pacifica complained, “They have to control everything. If I show interest in anything they either have me train to be the best or won’t allow me to do something because they think it’s beneath me. I tried getting into DD and more D, but they said Northwest’s don’t play loser games.”

“You want to learn to play Dungeons, Dungeons and More Dungeons,” Dipper asked excitedly, “That’s my all-time favorite game! With pen and paper, shield and sword…”

“Our quest shall be our sweet reward,” Pacifica finished, blushing and covering her mouth once she realized what she said. She looked like she was worried about her parents hearing her.

“I could totally teach you how to play,” Dipper said excitedly, practically bouncing on his feet, “First, you roll a 38-sided die to determine the level of each player’s statistical analysis poweroid. These orbs relate directly to the amount of quadrants that your team has dominion over, which is inverse to the anti-quadrants in your quadrant satchel. That reminds me, we need graph paper.”

Pacifica gave him a blank look before smiling, “I can get the butler to get us some paper and pens.”

They started working on the graphs and character sheets, saving the stats for later since Dipper didn’t have a 38-sided die on him.

“So what are your parents like,” Pacifica asked suddenly.

“They’re nice and work hard to support us,” Dipper responded, “Through they didn’t seem to have a problem dropping us off in the middle of nowhere with Grunkle Stan, who we barely knew, but I actually really like it here. I’m thinking of staying.”

“Won’t your parents miss you,” Pacifica asked, “That’s what I think good parents would do?”

“I’m sure they would miss us, but they got a job in Italy and gave us a choice to stay here,” Dipper explained. “Italy could be fun but there’s still mysteries here I need to solve.”

“…Do you think I could come with you,” Pacifica asked, “Fighting that ghost with you was the most fun I had in a long time. That and fighting those little golf ball people.”

“Oh yeah, that was crazy,” Dipper laughed, then coughed into his hand, “Sorry again for cheating, it was my idea.”

Pacifica waved him off, “It’s fine, I’m sure I haven’t earned all my trophies honestly,” she said, “I wouldn’t put it past my parents to bribe judges in order for me to win and make the Northwest family look even better.”

“I have the opposite problem,” Dipper said, “My parents don’t seem to care at all about the spelling bees and science fairs I won. And my straight A report card always gets covered on the fridge by Mabel’s art.”

“So they don’t care about you,” she concluded.

“I know they love and care about me, they just aren’t interested,” Dipper said quietly, “My parents weren’t expecting twins and since Mabel was born first I was a surprise. Sometimes I just feel like I’m Mabel’s twin to them, their perfect creative daughter.”

Pacifica did her best to give him a comforting smile, not use to consoling someone, putting her hand on Dipper’s.

“Alright Pine Tree, we came to a….what’s going on in here,” Bill asked, eyes narrowing a bit at how close the two were.

Dipper blushed and pulled his hand away, “We were just talking and making charts for Dungeons, Dungeons and More Dungeons. I’m going to teach her how to play.”

“Oooh, DD and More D,” Bill clapped his hands excitedly, “Haven’t played that game in years!”

“No way, you know the game,” Dipper asked excitedly, surprised that he would even be interested in games. “You can play with us.”

Bill’s smile faltered a bit, wanting to play the game alone with Dipper, but he seemed so excited he couldn’t say no. “Alright, need a 38-sided die,” he asked pulling one out of his pocket.

The two pre-teens grinned and they started to play once they got their characters ready. They were so busy playing that they didn’t notice it was night time until Priscilla came in and told Pacifica that it was time for her guests to leave.

Pacifica was about to protest but noticed it was dark outside, “Wow, I didn’t realize we were playing for that long.”

“Me neither, I should probably head back to the shack before Mabel starts to worry,” Dipper said standing up, gathering up his graph paper.

“So…do you want to come back tomorrow to keep playing,” Pacifica asked, “If that’s okay with you mother.”

Priscilla looked like she wanted to say no, but she could feel Bill’s eye on her, “Of course darling, just don’t make a mess,” she said before quickly leaving.

“Wow, I didn’t think she’d let you come back, what did you say to my parents Mr...Cipher was it,” Pacifica asked.

“Yes, but you can just call me Bill,” he said tipping his hat at her, “You parents…respect me. So they were willing to listen to me when I told them to lay off you.”

“Wow, thanks. No one has ever gone through so much trouble for me before without expecting money or something from me,” Pacifica admitted.

“You get one freebie, but that’s it,” Bill insisted, giving another tip of the hat before leaving, Dipper following him.

As they walked through town Dipper decided to speak up, “Thanks for helping Pacifica Bill,” he muttered, “I feel a lot better knowing she’s going to be safe. So, yeah, thanks for talking to her parents and everything. It means a lot to me.”

Bill smiled down at Dipper and patted his head, “Don’t worry about it Pine Tree, I figured she deserved it for being the first Northwest in hundreds of years to get over themselves and let the towns people in. Not to mention, she saved you, so I felt like I owed her one.”

Dipper blushed at that, subconsciously fiddling with the ring on his finger. It was hard to believe that this was the same demon who put a hole in his stomach, invaded his great uncles mind, but admitted that was mostly Gideon’s fault, and tricked him into getting engaged.

“I’m really starting to like you Bill,” Dipper smiled, then blushed when he realized what he said, “As a friend! Just friends!”

“Sure Pine Tree,” Bill grinned, loving the way Dipper puffed out his cheeks in annoyance.

Instead of getting into a fight Dipper decided to just change the subject, “Wish I knew before that you liked Dungeons, Dungeons and More Dungeons, we could have started playing sooner. And I can’t believe Pacifica of all people played with us!”

“Yeah, if her parents gave her more freedom she’d probably be as big as dork as you,” Bill teased, “Don’t give me that look, I mean it as a good thing!”

They arrived at the Mystery Shack, Dipper looking up at Bill nervously, “Would you lean down for a second?”

“Of course Pine Tree,” Bill said leaning down, wondering if Dipper wanted to whisper something to him. Only to be surprised when he felt Dipper’s chapped lips press against his cheek.

“Thanks again for the help Bill, bye,” Dipper said running into the shack and closing the door behind him, blushing like crazy. What had possessed him to do that?

Bill was shocked for a moment, both by the kiss and Dipper suddenly running into the house, but he smiled and touched his cheek. “He’s starting to like me,” he sang, humming as he walked to his house, twirling his cane.

Dipper went upstairs to the attic, hoping to get some sleep only to get ambushed by his sister.

“Oh my gosh! I was watching you guys from the window! You kissed Bill! Do you love him now! Is the wedding on? Are you going to let me design your dress or tux?” Mabel was asking question after question, not giving Dipper time to speak.

The younger twin sighed, this was going to be a long night.



So Dipper is friends with Pacifica now who is a closet nerd. Hope you enjoyed the chapter and sorry again for making you wait so long.

Chapter Text

Dipper couldn’t believe that he kissed Bill. Bill! The demon who tricked him into a future marriage. Granted, it was just a kiss on the cheek, but still.

“So are you looking forward to getting married now,” Mabel questioned excitedly. She always wanted to talk about this kind of stuff, but none of her friends have ever had a real boyfriend before. Mabel never thought her brother would be the first to get a boyfriend. But at least she gotten kissed first.

…Wait, Dipper technically kissed Mermando first, even if it was just CPR.

Oh well, she was still the alpha twin.
“I’m still trying to get out of the marriage,” Dipper told her, groaning into his pillow. He thought he was learning to like Bill and was starting to trust him a little, but not enough to marry him!

“Aw, but I already starting designing your dress,” Mabel whined, showing a picture she drew of him and Bill on their wedding day. It made Dipper a little uncomfortable since he still looked like he did now.

“Even if I do marry Bill, I’m not going to be wearing a dress,” Dipper replied.

“I guess I can try designing a tux,” Mabel said thoughtfully, “But I still get to be your maid of honor!”

Dipper sighed, seeing his sister was not going to be any help in breaking the engagement. He looked at his left hand where the ring was, luckily no one seemed to notice or question it. Sometimes it felt like a tattoo instead of an actually ring, but he could feel it when he touched it.

“If you’re not serious about a relationship with him you should probably stop kissing him,” Mabel said, “He might get the wrong idea and you shouldn’t lead him on.”

“Even if I did I doubt he’d stop,” Dipper pointed out, thinking Bill would just try harder. “And they’re innocent kisses.”

“If you say so,” Mabel sang, believing there was more to it than Dipper was telling her. “What did you two do today?”

“We went to visit Pacifica to see if she was okay after the party,” Dipper told her, glad for the change of topic, “We hung out with her today playing DD& More D.”

“Really, I’m surprised Pacifica would play that nerdy game,” Mabel said, “Was she in trouble?”

“No, Bill was able to talk to her parents about it and they decided she didn’t need to be punished,” Dipper replied, glad she was going to be okay.
If Dipper wasn’t engaged to Bill Mabel would have thought that he liked Pacifica. “So Bill knows the Northwest’s?”

“That or he messed with their memories to make them think they knew and feared him,” Dipper shrugged. He suddenly remembered that Bill said that he would teach him magic and wondered if that offer was still open.
“Bill must really like you since he hasn’t tried messing with our memories about him going into Grunkle Stan’s mind,” Mabel pointed out.

Dipper’s eyes widen when he realized that was true. Why wouldn’t Bill do that? Why not just mess with his memories to make Dipper think he loved him? From what he can tell Bill has can been completely honest with him and kept his promise not to enter his dreams.

But it still didn’t make sense to Dipper, none of it did. Why did Bill like him? He could barely get girls to look at him but for some reason he caught the attention of an immortal energy being. Maybe it was to distract him from the journals! …But if that were the case, why not just erase his memory of it?

Could it be that Bill really just liked him?
Bill was in a good mood. He made his Pine Tree happy and managed to get a kiss from him! Things were really going well. He walked to his house, humming a cheerful tune which was cut short when he walked in to someone standing in the living room.

“Pyronica, to what do I owe the pleasure?”

Pyronica, a pink cyclops demon who normally had horns was in her human form. Pale skin with dark pink hair covering an eye, matching pink lipstick. She was wearing a form fitting pink dress, showing off her cleavage, white thigh high stockings with pink pumps and long white gloves. She even kept her signature cape.

“I’ve came to see why you having been spending time with me and the others lately,” Pyronica pouted, sitting down and crossing her legs. “What has your attention here? Is the other Stan close to finishing the portal?”
Bill shrugged, “Probably, but I haven’t really been watching him lately.”

“I thought it was important to your plans,” Pyronica frowned.

“Plans change,” Bill shrugged again.

“But we were all looking forward to having our fun in this dimension,” Pyronica complained, but quickly settled down. She smiled up at Bill seductively, pulling him down by his bowtie, “Speaking of fun, how about we give these meat bag bodies of ours a test drive?”

“Thanks for the offer Pyronica, but I’m spoken for now,” Bill told her, showing off his gold ring. It was similar to Dipper’s, only it had the pine tree symbol carved into it.

Pyronica burst out laughing, but a glare from Bill quickly made her stop. “…You’re not joking are you?”

“Nope, completely serious,” Bill said backing away.

“But I was supposed to be the one to rule by your side,” Pyronica roared, “How dare you replace me with some random floozy!”

“What are you talking about? We were friends with benefits at best,” Bill shouted, angry at her for calling his darling Pine Tree a floozy. “At what point did I indicate that we were going to rule this world together?”
Pyronica glared angrily at him, pink flames coming off of her.

Bill glared even harder, body glowing red with blue fire raging.

The pink demon backed down, knowing she was no match for Bill’s power, especially in this meat bag body.

The dream demon smirked when she backed down. “It was nice seeing you again Pyronica, but I’m afraid you need to leave. Now!”

“This isn’t over Cipher,” Pyronica hissed, storming out of the house. She had no idea who it was that has caught Bill’s eye, but she intended to find out.

It must be a powerful witch or something that somehow managed to get Bill under their control. She knew it was unlikely since few, if any, were strong enough to manipulate Bill. But what other explanation could there be?

She had to tell the others about this!