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This Boy is a Bottom

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It happens just after they file the incorporation papers for Watcher Entertainment, which makes it the second most irrational decision of his life. It’s great timing, because otherwise it would be the first, and that would inevitably lead to some kind of breakdown — whether physical or emotional, he doesn’t know.

But it starts with him crowding Ryan against the front door. It’s just past midnight, they’ve been drinking since dinner, and Ryan only has one shoe on, too unstable to stoop and tie the laces. It’s a long way down to find Ryan’s mouth, but Ryan looks up at him like he’s maybe been waiting for something to happen anyway. Or maybe Shane’s projecting.

Though he figures there must be something there because Ryan kisses him back, getting his hands on Shane’s face, palms soft and warm. It feels unhinged, lacking finesse from their combined eagerness, but Shane thinks it might be one of his favorite kisses, just because it’s Ryan, and it feels like a very Ryan-esque kiss.

“Fuck, this is bad idea,” Shane murmurs against his mouth, and he can feel Ryan nod.

“Yeah,” he agrees, but he pulls Shane back in, and Shane doesn’t even try to stop it from happening.

It’s a little slower this time and Ryan licks between his lips, tasting like beer and the tortilla chips they’d been snacking on.

When Shane pulls away again, he thumbs at Ryan’s mouth, fascinated by how plump and wet it is now.

“You should cancel your Uber,” he says, but never finds out if Ryan actually does because Ryan drags him towards the bedroom instead.

It’s easy to strip Ryan out of his clothes when he’s only in basketball shorts, a jersey, and a zip-up hoodie. Ryan kicks off his lone shoe towards the doorway, knocking over Shane’s trashcan in the process. Shane doesn’t care, not when he gets to watch Ryan pull off his boxer-briefs and give himself a slow tug. It’s so lewd that Shane feels like his brain might melt if he’s not careful.

“Jesus,” he exhales. “You’re like a living fantasy.”

“I want to fuck you,” Ryan says, brushing off the compliment, and Shane feels his knees start to buckle.

“Yep,” Shane agrees, his reply too quick to be smooth. “Yeah, you can do that.”

He sits heavily on the end of his bed and tugs his socks off, flinging them aside.

“Take your shirt off,” Ryan orders and Shane can barely get his fingers to work because Ryan reaches down to unbutton and unzip Shane’s pants, and it’s hard to even think when Ryan starts pulling them off by the ankles.

“You’ve done this before, right?” Shane asks — if only to sate his own curiosity — as Ryan finally helps him out of his briefs.

Ryan rubs his hands along Shane’s thighs and nods, shamelessly not looking away from Shane’s dick. “Yeah,” he says, sounding distracted. “A few times.”

“With someone we both know?”

Ryan finally looks back up at him. “Would you be jealous if I said yes?”

“Not really,” Shane says with a loose shrug. “You’ve already agreed to fuck me.”

“The answer’s no anyway. I don’t have sex with the people I work with.”

“Except for me.”

“Except for you,” Ryan agrees and when he crowds over Shane, his body is warm and solid and just what Shane needs. Ryan kisses like he’s beginning to grow impatient and Shane can’t imagine him being any other way. It’s might be the alcohol talking, but he’s pretty sure Ryan is perfect. Not that he’ll ever admit it aloud.

“Do you have lube?”

“Fucking hope so,” Shane murmurs, but it’s mostly to make Ryan laugh because he already knows he does.

Ryan has to shift to the side as Shane leans over to grab the tube from the nightstand, but he doesn’t even fumble when Shane throws it in his direction.

“Want to do the honors?” Shane asks, but Ryan doesn’t reply, just pops the cap open and starts slicking up his fingers.

Ryan’s more efficient than Shane usually is when he preps himself. He’s actually glad to be slightly numbed by alcohol because it means he doesn’t immediately come when Ryan eventually gets two fingers into him. When Ryan slips a third into him a few minutes later, Shane lets out a noise so loud, he surprises himself.

Fuck,” he grunts. “It’s been a while.”

“No kidding,” Ryan replies, twisting his fingers in a way that makes Shane want to curl up in happiness. “You’re as tight as a virgin.”

Shane splutters in outrage, which only makes Ryan laugh. “That’s not a thing,” he complains and Ryan laughs again.

“I know, but since you asked me if I’d done this before, I thought you might have a thing.”

“Nope,” Shane exhales as Ryan crooks his fingers against his prostate. “Not at all.”

“Mm, shame,” Ryan murmurs, and it’s easy for Shane to drag him in for a kiss to shut him up.

But the ridiculous thing is that Shane does actually feel a bit like a virgin. He doesn’t know what it is about Ryan, but every touch, every kiss, feels like something entirely new and exciting, and Shane’s whole body feels electrified by it.

Ryan,” he begs eventually, because there’s only so much fingering someone can handle. “C’mon.”

Thankfully, Ryan is either just as far gone as he is, or has decided to take pity on Shane for once, because he pulls his fingers out and slaps him firmly on the thigh.

“How do you want this?”

“Literally any way, Ryan, jesus.”

“Fine; give me a pillow.”

Shane doesn’t even care about the mess he knows they’re going to make of one of his favorite pillows; he just passes it down for Ryan to slip under his hips.

He feels ridiculous with his hips up and legs spread, but when Ryan stares at him with a deep flush on his face, his hand simultaneously stroking himself and slicking himself up with lube, Shane thinks it’s worth the embarrassment.

“You ready?” Ryan asks and Shane thinks about scoffing and making a joke that he’s actually waiting for someone else to come fuck him, but he just can’t find the strength. Instead, he nods, and feels like he’s having an out of body experience when Ryan dips down and nudges the tip of his cock against him.

Shane grabs a handful of sheets below and sets his other hand on Ryan’s shoulder, feeling the way his muscles shift with every movement.

It’s a slow press inside, and Ryan continuously glances down at him as though to double check he’s doing okay. Shane can barely breath from how full he feels, combined with Ryan’s full attention on him.

He’s most of the way inside when Ryan asks, “You okay, big guy?”

All Shane can do is nod because he thinks if he opens his mouth, he’s going to let out more embarrassing noises or immediately declare his love for Ryan’s dick. He keeps using little, barely-there thrusts, just to make sure Shane’s stretched out and comfortable, and Shane’s going insane from them.

Ryan lets out a low laugh, his breath warm against Shane’s jaw. “Feels good.”

Shane can’t figure out if it’s a question or a statement, but he nods again because either way, it’s true. Ryan exhales enough to technically be considered another laugh and leans in to kiss him, leaving Shane to struggle to return it, too overwhelmed from everything else for physical prowess. Ryan always seems to have that effect on him; he’s weak against it.

When Ryan leans back, there’s a look in his eyes that he knows exactly what he’s doing. Shane isn’t ready for whatever it is.

“I’m gonna — ” Ryan starts, but never finishes the thought, just adjusts his position, his thrusts becoming longer and deeper. Shane goes boneless, his head tipping back as he lets out a strangled noise.

“Jesus, Ryan,” he gets out between heavy pants and Ryan somehow has the capacity to smirk down at him. Shane hates how he’s so composed, and even more so that it somehow turns him on.

“Something wrong?”

Shane can’t bring himself to admit the truth — that he’s thinking about how he’ll never make fun of Ryan’s workout ethics ever again. His thrusts are so smooth and even that he knows, without a doubt, Ryan has just single-handedly ruined all other sex for him.

“Nope,” he says instead. “All good.”

Ryan picks up the pace and Shane clutches at his back like either one of them might slip away if he lets go.

“Keep doing that,” Shane pleads. “Fuck.”

Ryan leans down and presses a kiss to the side of his throat, probably feeling how rabbit-quick Shane’s heartbeat is under his mouth. Shane turns and gives him more skin to work with.

“Don’t stop.”

Ryan doesn’t. He litters kisses across the nearest parts of Shane’s body and keeps fucking him at the same excruciating pace. Shane reaches between them to get his hand on his cock, jerking himself off in time with Ryan’s thrusts. It feels like he’s falling apart, piece by piece.

“Make me come,” Shane begs, like Ryan isn’t most of the way there already, but Ryan seems to take it as a challenge, because he shifts again, changing positions just enough that every thrust in jabs upwards against Shane’s prostate.

Shane has no hope of stopping the noises once they begin to slip out. It should be embarrassing, but Ryan pulls back just enough to watch him, and his expression is filled with fondness. Shane shuts his eyes, which means he startles when Ryan kisses him again, this time on the mouth. He melts into it instantly and Ryan’s warm fingers press against his jaw.

“Let me feel you,” Ryan murmurs and Shane doesn’t stand a chance against it.

Fuck,” Shane curses, his hand speeding up, getting himself close to the edge before pausing just long enough to let Ryan fuck him through the rest of the way.

It feels like dipping under the surface of water, where everything around him becomes muffled and distant, and he’s more aware of the fast thrumming of his heart and the pressure in his head. He draws in a ragged breath and everything comes rushing back in — the fullness of Ryan inside him, the noise of Ryan moaning, how tightly Ryan’s clinging to him with his face pressed into the crook of Shane’s shoulder.

“Shane,” Ryan murmurs, “I’m gonna — ”

He finally breaks his rhythm, hands clutching at Shane as he begins to shake against him. Shane rubs a hand down his back and can’t believe this is how his night is ending.

“Ryan,” he encourages gently, though it turns into a grunt as Ryan slumps over, crushing him with his weight in a way that would be rude if it were anyone else. “God you’re heavy.”

Ryan mumbles something against his shoulder that sounds like an apology, but Shane finds himself laughing, the whole situation becoming more and more surreal.

“Jesus,” Shane says. “What a night.”

After a moment, Ryan finally pushes himself up and off of Shane, pulling out carefully, but immediately flopping back into Shane’s space, his arm seeming to automatically slide around Shane’s waist like it’s where it belongs, where it feels most right to have it.

“What a week,” he corrects and Shane laughs again.

“What a month.”

“Are we gonna just keep escalating this?”

“I’m here all night,” Shane points out. “Got all the time in the world to escalate bad jokes.”

“What about me?” Ryan asks and Shane snorts.

“Yeah, I can escalate you too, though I don’t really know what that means.”

Ryan pinches his side, but still laughs as he says, “That’s not what I meant.”

“Yeah, I know,” Shane admits with a smile and watches as Ryan leans up on one elbow to stare down at him.

“Can I stay?” Ryan asks after a beat. His tone is light and his mouth is curved up, but Shane can see how tense he actually is in the line of his shoulders and the crease between his brows.

“Yeah,” Shane replies, reaching up to touch the side of his neck. “I kinda hoped you would.”

Ryan watches him carefully, like he half expects Shane to say sike, but finally, apparently appeased by Shane’s silence, he admits, “This might be a bad decision, but I don’t care.”

Shane lets out a thoughtful noise and shrugs with one shoulder. “If we’re gonna make bad decisions, we might as well make them together, right?”

Ryan’s responding smile is nothing short of luminous.

“Right,” he agrees, and Shane can’t help but pull him in for a kiss, bad decisions be damned.