Work Header

Seeking Security

Work Text:

Kurt tilted his head and kissed Blaine’s collarbone, gasping as Blaine threaded his fingers through Kurt's hair and tugged. He gave a brief thought to how much time he'd taken to get it ready tonight, but it was gone with another tug that felt like it went straight to his dick. He bit down in response and felt Blaine stiffen under his hand.

"Sorry, sorry," he mumbled, kissing the spot. He let his right hand slide down Blaine's back and just as he hit the waistband of his jeans, Blaine jerked back and out from under Kurt's hands.

Kurt sagged back against the seat. "Uh, what was that? What happened?"

"It's getting late," Blaine said, breathing heavily as he settled back into the driver's seat. "I have to get you home."

"I am home," Kurt pointed out. "We're in my driveway. It won't take me 20 minutes to get inside."

"Oh. Right." Blaine ran his hand over his face. "Sorry. I just don't want to get carried away." He smiled at Kurt, who didn't look impressed.

"Seriously?" Kurt leaned down to pick up his bag. "Fine. I will amaze everyone by getting in early. My dad will love it."


When Kurt looked up, Blaine looked apologetic. "I'll come by tomorrow to hang out," he offered.

Kurt sighed, accepting the peace offering. "How about I come by your place?" he asked. "Finn mentioned having Rachel over tomorrow, and I'd rather not be around for that."

"Of course," Blaine said. "But I thought you and Rachel were getting along pretty well right now."

"I'd much rather be kissing you than listening to them kiss," Kurt said, leaning forward and pressing one to his cheek. "See you tomorrow."

The next afternoon, Kurt pulled in behind Blaine's car, the only other one in the drive. Despite the fact that Blaine was clearly home, no one was answering the door. He was going to pull out his phone when he remembered the hollow turtle the Anderson's used to hold an extra key. Blaine had always said to make himself at home...

"Hello?" he called out into the foyer. There was still no response, so he jogged up the stairs and headed down the hall to Blaine's room. The door was open and he stepped in before freezing.


Blaine whirled around from where he stood in front of his closet. "Oh, my God," he said. He glanced down and grabbed a shirt off a hanger to hold in front of himself. "What are you doing here?"

"We had plans," Kurt said slowly. "I said I'd be over this afternoon. What are...are you okay?"

"Of course I'm okay," Blaine said, sounding a little panicked. "I'm fine. How did you get in?"

"I used the key when you didn't answer the bell," Kurt said. He couldn't help it, his eyes were drawn to Blaine's waist and..."Are you okay?"

"You already asked that," Blaine said. He took a deep breath and tried to smile. "Can you please let me finish getting dressed?"

"Yes," Kurt said, stepping back into the hall. He leaned against the wall and rubbed at his eyes. All sorts of worries and thoughts and ideas were flying through his head, all around the image of his boyfriend standing there in a t-shirt and diaper.

"Thanks," Blaine said, leaning out of his door and startling Kurt. "I wasn't expecting you so early," he explained, taking Kurt's hand and pulling him in for a kiss.

"I rang the doorbell," Kurt said, aware he was repeating himself but unable to help it. "I was going to text, but then I saw the turtle."

"Yeah, sorry, it's hard to hear it up here," Blaine said. "Texting is good idea next time." He dropped down on his bed and smiled up at Kurt. "So, what are you in the mood for? Movie, picnic, baking?"

Kurt sat next to him. "Talking, I think."

"How's Pip Pip Hooray coming?" Blaine asked.

"I'll play you the new chorus I have done," Kurt said. "Later. Blaine."

"Kurt." Blaine grinned at him, but it didn't really reach his eyes.

"Tell me what's going on," Kurt said.

"We are hanging out and talking, as requested," Blaine said. "That new chorus, is it for the Harry dream sequence you were telling me about?"

"No. Are you sick?" Kurt asked.

"Entirely healthy," Blaine said. "I am not passing along any germs when I do this." He leaned over and kissed Kurt, running his tongue along Kurt's bottom lip.

Kurt gently pulled back. "Look, you were uncomfortable when I came in earlier and I'm trying so hard to not make you uncomfortable now."

"I'm always comfortable with you, Kurt," Blaine said, leaning in again, but Kurt could feel the tension in his hands as Blaine stroked his arm.

"Blaine. I love you, there will be kisses, but right now, I really want to know why you were wearing that diaper," Kurt said.

Blaine pulled back stiffly, looking a little ill.

Kurt picked up his hand and kissed it. "I tell you everything," he said. He didn't mean for it to sound accusatory, and hoped Blaine didn't take it like that.

"It's embarrassing," Blaine said, finally. "No one knows."

"I'm not going to tell anyone," Kurt said. "You can tell me anything, you know that." After that whole thing with Rachel, Kurt was determined to listen this time.

"It's...fine," Blaine said. "All right. You know that I transferred to Dalton after the Sadie Hawkins dance."

"Right," Kurt said, still holding on to his hand.

"Well, I wasn't doing very well back then," Blaine said, his tone giving Kurt the impression that that was an understatement. "I was hurt, and stressed, and anxious all the time. I ended up sick a lot and then, well."

"Well?" Kurt asked.

"I, um, used to have problems with, well, with bed wetting when I was younger." Blaine squeezed his eyes tightly shut and Kurt squeezed his hand. "And it came back. Because of the stress and then moving into dorms for the first time and everything. So I had to start wearing these."

"Okay," Kurt said slowly, when it was clear Blaine wasn't going to say anything else. "That's a lot to go through. It was a horrible time. I can understand that. But Blaine, that doesn't really explain why you have them on today. During the daytime."

"Right," Blaine said. "I was sort of hoping you wouldn't notice that."

"I notice everything," Kurt said. "I have an eye for details, you know that."

"Okay. I-I've really never talked about this before," Blaine said. "I'm going to blush."

"You already are," Kurt said with a little laugh, kissing his hand again. "Keep going."

Blaine lay back on the bed and threw his other arm over his eyes. "This really is embarrassing," he mumbled. "I never thought ahead to this."

"I'm not going anywhere," Kurt said. "Take your time. But keep going."

"It's hard to explain," Blaine said. "Before, I'd be so nervous going to sleep, worried that I wouldn't wake up if I needed to go. I would get so anxious that I wouldn't be able to fall asleep easily, and the more tired I was, the more often it happened. Just this vicious circle. It was horrible. I hated the idea of...I spent years in those pull-ups and I hated them. I didn't want to go back, but I really didn't have a choice."

"Of course not," Kurt said. "You were healing, and starting a new school away from home, and those are hard enough. You needed sleep."

"Yes," Blaine said, sounding relieved. "So I was too...I couldn't wear the pull-ups anymore, which was fine, but all that was left were these. Adult diapers." His voice wavered a little.

"Right," Kurt said, stroking his thumb along Blaine's hand when Blaine stopped again.

"So it helped, I guess," Blaine said. "I didn't have to worry about the sheets or the mattress or people finding out. And when I didn't have to worry, I slept better, and I got better. But I didn't want to stop wearing them, because what if it started up again? So I kept buying them. And then I was getting ready to try out for a Warblers part and I really wanted to do well. I know this sounds weird."

"You're fine," Kurt said. "Keep going."

"I thought that if I felt better at night wearing them, maybe I'd feel better during the audition," Blaine said in a rush. "I can't believe I'm admitting this. I've seriously never told anyone." He shook his head as Kurt squeezed his hand again. "It doesn't really follow, I know, but it did help my anxiety over the audition and I got it. So I kept doing it."

"For auditions?" Kurt asked. Blaine nodded. "And...other anxious situations?"

"Yes," Blaine said. "Tests, things like that."

"And dates?" Kurt asked, a little hesitantly.

"I felt more confident. Like I didn't have to worry," Blaine said. "I know, it's-"

"It's fine," Kurt interrupted him. "It's, you know, unusual." Blaine snorted. "But I am the one who wears bondage gear and tails to school. I know about letting your clothes be your armor."

"Oh," Blaine said, surprised enough to let his arm fall from his face. "I-yes. I guess you do."

"The biggest problem I see here," Kurt said, trying to keep his voice light as he felt the tension in Blaine's hand increase, "is how you thought we were going to get to second base if you freaked out when I touched your waist."

"I didn't think it through," Blaine admitted. "I wasn't expecting that last night. I guess I figured that I would be the one to take us forward, and I would have been prepared then. I liked it, but I couldn't let- I was going to change out of them before you got here today, in case."

"Are you still wearing it?" Kurt asked, curious.

"I-yes," Blaine whispered. "I-"

"It's okay," Kurt said again. He looked down at Blaine thoughtfully. "Put your arm over your eyes again."

"What?" Blaine asked, confused.

"Do it."

"All right," Blaine said, letting his voice trail off as he did so.

"Okay. Because I don't think you've told me everything," Kurt said, squeezing his hand tightly.

"Because this wasn't enough?" Blaine said, incredulous. "Seriously, Kurt. I've laid myself bare here. What else do you want?"

"Seriously, I want the whole story." Kurt lifted Blaine's hand and kissed it gently. "You're holding back on me. You're still tense, you haven't relaxed at all. And you still look sad. You've gone this far; tell me everything."

"I don't know what else to say," Blaine said. "This was so much. Does it change anything?"

"I still love you the same, if that's what you're asking," Kurt said. "I mean, obviously. But I hadn't realized how hard things were when you transferred. I know you told me what happened, but I didn't understand until now. Did...did I cause you a lot of anxiety before prom?"

Blaine nodded slowly.

"The sleeping and everything?" Kurt asked.

Blaine nodded again. "Yes. All of it." He sighed. "It's okay. I mean, it happens. It's why I'm prepared."

"Right," Kurt said. "I'm so sorry, though. I never once thought - I mean, I'm really sorry."

"I said that it was fine," Blaine said, lowering his arm and frowning. "I don't want you treating me differently now. If I couldn't have handled it, I wouldn't have gone. I know how to take care of myself."

"I know," Kurt said. "It's just that I know more about you now. Something big. It does change things a little, but not in a bad way." He shrugged. "It mostly just makes me want to take care of you."

"What?" Blaine asked, voice shaking a little.

"You've had this huge secret for years. Did anyone know when you started wetting the bed again at Dalton?" Kurt asked.

"No," Blaine said. "I couldn't. I didn't know anyone at school, and my parents were still reeling from everything else. There wasn't anyone to tell."

"And you said that you ran! Into something just as hard that you dealt with on your own, too. You're pretty amazing, Blaine Warbler."

" an interesting perspective," Blaine said, confused.

"But what upsets me is that I came into your life, and I was someone that you should have felt comfortable telling, and I actually brought back the problems," Kurt said, frowning. "That is the complete opposite of what should have happened."

"Kurt," Blaine said, but Kurt ignored him.

"Now that you've told me, and I'm glad you did," he said, squeezing his hand again, "I want to be there for you, like I should have done from the start. You've always supported me, and now it's my turn. Will you let me take care of you?"

"How, how do you mean?" Blaine asked, and Kurt could feel his hand trembling.

"I want you to tell me when you're getting stressed out, whether I've caused it or not," Kurt said. "I want to help you through that, find ways to ease the stress. And if it happens anyway, I want you to tell me."

He paused, watching Blaine's face closely. "You've done a good job taking care of it by yourself, but you don't have to anymore. I'm here now. You're my boy, Blaine Anderson. I can do anything for you. Or...everything." He could feel the tension finally start to drain out of his boyfriend.

"Please," Blaine breathed.

"That's it," Kurt said, the pieces falling into place completely. "That's what you need, isn't it? The diapers are protecting you when no one else would, but it's not enough. You need someone who will step in and take care of you and all these things you've been hiding, diapers and all."

Blaine's nod was almost imperceptible, but there.

It was strange, this was so far from his daydreams of romance, but he loved Blaine more than ever right then. It was as if something had slotted into place and it should have felt wrong, but he knew this was the right thing to do, to say, and it was like he'd been waiting his whole life for this chance.

Kurt slid his hand down Blaine's chest and tucked his fingertips into the diaper band, causing Blaine to gasp. "Well, now you-"

A door slammed downstairs and both boys froze.

Blaine pulled away first, swinging himself up and heading for the hallway. He peeked out and turned back to Kurt. "It's, uh, the cleaning crew," he said, not meeting Kurt's eyes. "They're going to be here for an hour or two now."

"Oh. All right," Kurt said, rattled by the abrupt change in mood. There was no way they could do anything or even talk about it with people around. "Then I Your pick."

Blaine finally met his eyes. "You still - okay."

"I still what?" Kurt asked as Blaine started looking through his DVD collection. "I'm not going anywhere, Blaine."

"Right. Good. Um, how about this?" He held up a copy of Disney's Hercules.

"That's perfect," Kurt said. "I haven't seen it in years, actually. I used to love Meg."

"I still have a lot of DVDs from when I was a kid," Blaine said, setting it up. "I like to watch them sometimes."

"We can make an afternoon of it," Kurt offered. "All cartoons, all the time."

Blaine nodded. "Sure, if you don't mind."

"It'll be fun," Kurt said, settling himself against Blaine's headboard.

Blaine came over with the remote and sat down on the opposite side of the bed. Kurt frowned.

"Blaine. What are you doing? Over here," he ordered, patting the bed next to him.

Blaine hesitated but Kurt just raised his eyebrow at him, and he shifted over. Kurt arranged him so that his head rested on Kurt's shoulder, and wrapped his arm around him.

"My beautiful boy," Kurt said, pressing a kiss to the top of Blaine's head, and Blaine finally relaxed again. He snuggled in closer to Kurt and they settled into the movie.

Kurt paid almost as much attention to Blaine as he did the screen. The way his fingers inched towards his mouth, until he was sucking on a knuckle by the time Meg sang with the Fates. The way his eyes seemed wider, his laughs more genuine. When the movie was over, Blaine dragged Kurt over to his DVDs to help choose the next one. There was a sparkle in his eyes that Kurt wasn't sure he'd seen before, not even on stage, when they settled on a season of Arthur, the one with the Ballad of Buster Baxter so they could sing along.

"This is okay?" he asked, holding the DVD case.

"Definitely okay," Kurt answered and Blaine smiled happily.

The smile, so wide and trusting, tugged at Kurt's heart. He pulled Blaine back to the bed and they snuggled together again. He couldn't help sliding his hands a little lower on Blaine's hip, fascinated by the idea that under his jeans was that diaper.

When he got home that night, Kurt headed straight for Google. He was a little afraid of what he'd find along with the facts and ideas he needed, but he didn't know where else to go. After a few scary hits, he discovered that it was best to stick to blogs and not sites with video. He learned about fetishes and consent, safe words and age play, real life vs. scenes and how they could blend, and most of all, that Blaine really wasn't alone. And based on his reactions to Blaine and the above, neither was he.


By the time Friday morning rolled around, Kurt was scared, excited and prepared. He'd been forwarding on some of the sites he found to Blaine, and came up with a plan based on his responses. He pulled his car into Blaine's driveway and again, Blaine's was the only other one there. This time he knew it was okay to use the turtle-key and Blaine had assured him that they would have the house to themselves until dinner.

He found Blaine lying down on his bed, staring off into space.

"Hey, baby," Kurt said, dropping his bag next to Blaine's desk.

Blaine started, his hand flying to his chest. "Oh, you scared me," he said unnecessarily.

"Sorry," Kurt said, stepping over to give him a kiss. He stroked the side of Blaine's face. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," Blaine said, but his smile didn't reach his eyes.

Kurt frowned at him. "You're not lying to me, are you?"

"No," Blaine said quickly. "I'm just, this is..."

"Second thoughts?" Kurt asked.

"No," Blaine said firmly. "I'm just apprehensive, I guess."

"All right," Kurt said, an idea coming to him. "Wait here for me."

He grabbed his bag and headed back downstairs for the Anderson's kitchen. He knocked around a bit, pulling together everything he needed to heat up some milk on the stove. He had to get Blaine relaxed enough for his subspace to take over, and warm milk was his default. He poured some into the sippy cup he'd brought, and the rest into a mug for himself.

He carried the drinks and bag back upstairs, where Blaine was still lost in thought.

"All right, sweetheart," he said, dropping his bag and sitting at the head of Blaine's bed, carefully trying to scootch himself into position. "Come up here."

Blaine pushed himself up and sat next to Kurt. Kurt passed him the cup and pulled him closer. "That's my beautiful boy," he said softly. "Isn't this nice?"

"It is," Blaine said, sipping the milk and starting to relax into Kurt. "Thank you."

"Good," Kurt said, playing with Blaine's hair as he took his own swallow.

Blaine finished his first and Kurt passed over his mug for him to finish. Kurt started humming as he twirled Blaine's curls through his fingers and waited.

"Good boy," he said finally, as Blaine set the mug on the bedside table. "How are you feeling?"

"Better," Blaine said, tipping his head onto Kurt's shoulder.

"I'm glad," Kurt said. "I want to know that I can make you feel good, that I can take care of you the right way."

Blaine nodded.

"I'm always going to take care of you now," Kurt said. "And sometimes, like today, I'm going to take special care of you. Are you ready?"

Blaine nodded again.

"I need you to use your words, baby," Kurt said. "That's important to me."

"I'm ready," Blaine whispered.

"Good boy," Kurt said. "You are my good little boy." Half of what he's saying is what he's learned, but half of it is instinct and he is falling into the role even more comfortably than he expected, pleased beyond words when Blaine smiles that big, open smile from earlier that week.

"Remember, if you don't like what I'm doing at any point today, say Dalton," Kurt told him, stroking his hair back. "It's our first time, and we might need to regroup. But we'll figure this out together. Okay?"


Kurt disentangled himself and turned to face Blaine. "I think it's important that we start this out with a clean slate, don't you?"

Blaine nodded, looking uncertain.

"You kept a secret from me, a big one. If I'm going to be taking care of you, that can't happen again."

"I wanted to tell you," Blaine said, biting at his lip. "I really did. I was so embarrassed when you saw me, but I was relieved, too. I knew you wouldn't let me get away with pretending you didn't see them."

"That's right," Kurt said. "I'm glad you wanted to tell the truth, but I'm not going to let you get away with lying and hiding things. Naughty boys who do that get spanked. Understand?"

"Yes," Blaine said, his voice shaking.

"Good. Now, because this is your first time, you can leave the diaper on," Kurt said. "But the shorts have to go. Come stand in front of me."

Blaine slid off the bed as Kurt turned so he sat on the edge of the bed.

"Good job," Kurt said. He unfastened the button and unzipped the shorts. He let them drop and Blaine stepped out them, now clad only in the diaper and faded Lucky Charms t-shirt. "Fold them, please."

Blaine bent down and obeyed, setting them on his nightstand.

"Thank you," Kurt said. He patted his lap. "All right, Blaine. Come here."

Blaine slowly lowered himself over Kurt's knees, letting Kurt arrange him into place. He braced one hand on the floor, the other gripping Kurt's ankle.

Kurt smoothed the back of Blaine's shirt. "I'm disappointed in you, baby. First, you kept this big secret from me, for months. And then when I asked you about it, directly, you still didn't tell me. Lying by omission is still lying, and I don't want my little boy lying to me." He lifted his hand and let it fall with a faint thud against Blaine's backside.

Blaine gasped, but it sounded more surprised than anything. Kurt smacked down again, with a little more force and then again, letting his wrist snap down. Blaine shifted a little at that, and Kurt did it again, encouraged. He landed a few more blows with increasing strength as he gained confidence in his actions.

He swatted down hard and was rewarded with another gasp. He changed directions slightly and smacked with a little less force on Blaine's bare thigh. Blaine groaned and Kurt repeated it. He kept up the spanks, varying speed and location on diaper and skin, but maintaining the force behind him, until Blaine's thighs were hot pink and he was starting to breathe hard.

The next smack landed hard enough on Blaine's thigh that his handprint lingered and Blaine whimpered.

"Why are we doing this, Blaine?" Kurt asked, creating a matching stain on Blaine's other thigh.

"Be-because I was naughty," he said, his voice high pitched and shaky as Kurt kept spanking. "Because I lied to you. Ah! I'm sorry, Daddy, I won't do it again."

Kurt's stomach twisted - it was unsettling, but it was also thrilling and not unexpected. "That's right. Daddy needs to be able to trust his boy." He peppered Blaine's backside and thighs with fast, hard spanks and finished with two final smacks that had Blaine crying out.

"All right, sweet boy," Kurt said, running his hand through Blaine's curls. "It's done."

Blaine scrambled up and settled himself in Kurt's lap. His eyes were bright with unshed tears as he curled into Kurt. "I'm sorry," he whispered into Kurt's ear.

Kurt squeezed him tightly. "You're forgiven," he whispered back and Blaine nodded, a few tears spilling over. "Hey, baby, what's that?" he asked, worried, wiping Blaine's cheek.

"I just - I love you so much," Blaine said, sniffling. "I'm sorry. Don't let go. Please."

"It's okay, sweetie. I love you, too," Kurt said, rocking them a little. "I'm here, I'm not going anywhere."

Blaine nodded, clinging to him tightly.

Kurt rubbed at his back soothingly until Blaine started to loosen his grip. "Daddy?"

"Yeah, baby?"

"I, um. I have to go to the bathroom," Blaine said, looking shy.

"That's fine," Kurt said, tightening his hold when Blaine started to shift away.

"Can I get up?"

"Daddy's taking care of you, remember?" Kurt kissed Blaine's shoulder. "Will you let me show you that it's okay if you have an accident? I want you to see that I'll never get angry, or make you feel bad about it at all."

Blaine stared at him, wide-eyed.

"Will you do that for Daddy?" Kurt rubbed his hand over Blaine's tummy and pressed gently. "I don't want you to ever be afraid to tell me something again."

"I won't, Daddy." Blaine rested his hand on top of Kurt's.

"Will you do this for me, then?"

"Yes," Blaine whispered and Kurt pressed down a little more firmly.

"Good boy," he said. He started rocking them again, humming softly. He felt Blaine slowly start to relax, leaning onto Kurt as his finger found his mouth. Kurt made a note to look into pacifiers since this was the second time Blaine had regressed into sucking his fingers.

After a minute, Kurt felt Blaine's diaper growing warm on his leg. It kept filling, getting heavier until Blaine finally let out a little sigh.

"You ready to be changed, baby?" Kurt asked. Blaine nodded. "Okay, then, sweetie, grab me one of your diapers."

Blaine walked, a little awkwardly, to his drawer while Kurt grabbed his bag. He pulled out a pad and set it on the floor. "Lay here, baby," he instructed, pulling out the other items and setting them next to the diaper as Blaine obeyed.

Kurt unfastened the tabs, suddenly hyperaware of the fact that he was about to see his boyfriend naked for the first time. He reached for the clean diaper to mask his suddenly shaking hands. "All right, lift up for me," he said, patting Blaine's hip.

He pulled the soiled diaper out and laid the new one down, trying to focus on his hands and not Blaine's body. He looked up and found Blaine watching him work. "Don't look so serious, baby," he chided. "Daddy's got you." Blaine's answering smile, sweet and trusting, sent Kurt falling back into his caretaker headspace.

He took out a wipe and ran it over Blaine's abdomen and the top of his thighs, and then, with another tap to his hip, cleaned off his bottom, as well. He grabbed a second wipe and finished by wiping off Blaine's dick.

He could feel his face going a little red and tried to focus back on the task at hand. He picked up a tube of his favorite lotion, spread a little on his fingers and gently massaged it into Blaine's backside and thighs, still warm from the spanking. He tugged the front of the diaper into position and taped the tabs shut snuggly. He adjusted the fit around Blaine's legs and let his hands rest on Blaine's thighs.

"All done, baby," Kurt said, leaning forward and kissing Blaine's forehead. "How do you feel?"

Blaine didn't hesitate. "Happy."

"I'm glad," Kurt said, smiling. "I love taking care of my little boy." He pulled Blaine up to sitting, Blaine wincing a little when his thighs and backside took his weight. "I need to clean this up. What do you want to do until lunch?"

"Can we watch movies again?" Blaine asked, swinging onto his knees.

"Pick one out while I finish here," Kurt said, nodding. Blaine headed over to his DVDs, diaper rustling, and Kurt repacked his bag and threw away the old diaper. "What did you find?"

"I think I want Mickey Mouse," Blaine said, pulling out the DVD. "Is that okay?"

"Of course," Kurt said. "Let's cue it up."

Kurt joined Blaine on the bed, letting him snuggle in close. Blaine rested his head on Kurt's chest, curling one arm around his waist as Kurt let his hand settle on Blaine's hip. The diaper felt comfortable under his hand and he stroked it gently.

Kurt could feel Blaine's laughs rumble through his chest and couldn't help smiling at Blaine's unabashed enjoyment of the old cartoons. He loved this boy so much, little boy and boyfriend the same, and it felt so good to make Blaine this happy.

They were half an hour into the DVD when Kurt noticed that Blaine's laughs were getting quieter and his body was feeling heavier on Kurt's. "Blaine?" he asked.


"Nothing, sweetie," Kurt said. "Go to sleep."

Blaine mumbled agreement and his breathing slowed into soft, even puffs. He looked so peaceful that Kurt couldn't bear to disturb him. He glanced around and saw a book peeking out from under Blaine's shorts on the nightstand. He shifted a little bit, Blaine grumbling, to reach it and settled himself in to read.

Kurt was half done with the book when Blaine started to stir. He finished the page and set it aside to watch Blaine blink himself awake.

"Hey, baby," Kurt said, smiling down at him. "Nice nap?"

"Hey, Kurt," Blaine said, stretching. "What time is it?"

"It's after 2," Kurt said. "How are you?"

"I'm good. I'm really good." Blaine paused. "I'm feeling myself again."

"Welcome back," Kurt said, with a flash of disappointment.

"I didn't mean to fall asleep," Blaine said, apologetically. "I didn't sleep much last night, though. I was-"

"Pretty keyed up?" Kurt finished. "Me, too. It's okay." He played with the hem of Blaine's shirt sleeve absently. "Um. Is it too soon to ask what you thought?"

"I thought it was amazing," Blaine said. "Kurt, I don't even know how to explain it. You made me feel good about things I've always felt bad about. You made me feel special."

"I'm glad," Kurt said, relieved. "So this is good? You want to do it again?"

"I do," Blaine said. "What did you think?"

"I loved taking care of you," Kurt said. "I love you that let me. I'm just sorry that we couldn't do more. It shouldn't all be punishments and boundaries."

"It won't be," Blaine said. "Next time."

"Next time," Kurt agreed, smiling. "We still have the house to ourselves for a few more hours, though. What's next?"

"Lunch," Blaine said, as his stomach growled. "Definitely lunch."

An hour later, they were back on Blaine's bed, Kurt scrolling through emails and texts he'd missed that morning and Blaine propped up on one arm, watching him. "Kurt?"


"There's something else I want to try today."

"All right," Kurt said, setting aside his iPhone. "Something from the emails?"

"No," Blaine said. "Nothing like that." He ran his hand over his face nervously. "I know we didn't talk about this, but this week, I went shopping, too." He rolled over and pulled a bag from under his bed. He turned it over and condoms and lube fell out.

Kurt tried to ignore the hot feeling of want that coursed through his veins at the implied question. "Blaine, I don't know," he said slowly. "Today was already so intense. Why didn't you say anything?"

"I didn't plan it for today," Blaine said. "I swear I didn't. It was just that I was so relieved to have the secret gone. I didn't have to be afraid to move forward with you anymore and I wanted something concrete to show it. That's all. But then today, I loved feeling so close to you. I want to feel that way again, with this part of me now."

Kurt tried to organize his thoughts. Blaine was right, the intimacy of the morning had been exhilarating and he wanted that feeling in this part of their relationship, too. He couldn't have imagined wanting it this badly before today, but all the barriers had come down. He met Blaine's eyes and saw a flash of that sweet, trusting look he loved so much.

Kurt leaned forward and kissed him, hard. "No more secrets, no more fears," he said, pulling back. "That's something to celebrate."

"It is," Blaine agreed. He started to lean back in for another kiss, but Kurt stopped him.

"No, let me," he said, pushing Blaine onto his back. "Can I?"

"Yes," Blaine said, his voice hitching as Kurt lay half on top of him.

Kurt started pressing tiny kisses to Blaine's throat, slowly moving up his jaw. He sucked lightly at the spot just behind his ear and Blaine arched up with a small gasp, his hand flying to Kurt's hip.

"Shhh," Kurt whispered, petting Blaine's shoulder. "Just lay there. I've got you." His kisses continued, light and soft, trailing across Blaine's face until he finally met his lips. It felt like their first kiss, full of wonder, and Kurt savored the taste.

Blaine rocked his hips up, shorts tented, and now it was Kurt's time to gasp. He deepened the kiss, all innocence gone, heat and desire taking over as he pressed Blaine's hip back down with his own.

He shifted over slightly, and settled his hand on Blaine's waist, ghosting his fingers along the strip of skin between his shirt and shorts. Blaine moaned into Kurt's mouth as Kurt slid his hand further up Blaine's chest, just grazing his nipple.

Kurt did it again, purposefully this time, and felt Blaine twitch against his hip. "Lift your arms," he said, his voice coming out roughly, and Blaine obeyed. Kurt pushed himself to his knees, half straddling Blaine and stripped off Blaine's shirt, following with his own. He lowered back down again and the feel of skin on skin was electrifying.

"You're so beautiful," Kurt said, and Blaine flushed all over. "No, you are," he said, swallowing Blaine's response with another kiss, his hand sweeping down from Blaine's cheek to roam his chest.

"Kurt," Blaine groaned as Kurt's hand dipped down below his waistband. "God, Kurt, I want to touch you."

"Shhhh," Kurt said, kissing him again. "This time, please, let me do it. I want to make you feel so good, Blaine. Will you let me do that for you?"

"Yes," Blaine said. "Oh!" His hips bucked as Kurt's kissed traveled down and he mouthed over Blaine's nipple. "Kurt!"

"I've got you," Kurt said again, moving lower to press a kiss to his navel. He pushed back to kneeling and unbuttoned Blaine's shorts. The motions of stripping Blaine of his shorts and diaper were familiar, but the feelings were so different. He could touch, he could taste, and he let himself explore.

"I want to see you, Kurt," Blaine said, sounding ragged. "Please."

"Anything, anything for you," Kurt said, undoing his pants and shimmying out of them, Blaine's eyes hungry as he watched. Fully nude, he leaned back down over Blaine and kissed him again.

Blaine couldn't keep still any longer and wrapped his arms around Kurt, pulling him down into a desperate kiss. Kurt stretched out on top of Blaine and settled himself so that his dick was nestled against the hollow of Blaine's hip. Soon, his hips rocked of their own accord; he was almost overcome by the sensations, and had to fight to keep himself under control.

"Wait, wait," he mumbled into Blaine's mouth. He slid off Blaine, who whined at the loss, and guided him onto his side so that Kurt spooned him. He'd seen this in one of those pamphlets and it would be more comfortable for the both of them.

He kissed the back of Blaine's neck, inhaling the scent of sweat and boy, and reached around to take hold of Blaine's dick. It was heavy and full in his hand, new and entirely welcome. Blaine pressed back against Kurt, leaning his head against his shoulder.

Kurt's dick brushed against the cleft of Blaine's ass and Blaine's hips thrust forward.

"Oh, God, again," he panted out, twisting his head to give Kurt an awkward kiss. Kurt rocked forward as he stroked Blaine's shaft, sliding his hand down to gently cup his balls and squeeze. "Harder," Blaine begged. "Kurt, please."

Kurt obliged, squeezing one more time before bringing his hand back up and letting his fingertips trail over the slit, still rocking rhythmically against Blaine's hole. A few more strokes and Blaine's head tipped back farther as his back arched and stiffened. His mumbled "love you, love you" vibrated into Kurt's throat and then he was coming all over Kurt's hand.

Kurt kept his fist loosely cradling Blaine's dick, gently stroking, until Blaine sagged against him, damp curls resting against his cheek.

A breath later, Blaine tightened his ass and Kurt moaned at the feeling of it clenching around the tip of his dick. "Oh, God, Blaine." He thrust again and again, gripping Blaine's hip. "You're amazing," he breathed into Blaine's ear. "You're so amazing." He could feel his own orgasm building, desire coiling tightly in his belly until his hips jerked and he spilled out over Blaine's ass with a cry.

He collapsed back onto the bed, Blaine falling with him. He felt for Blaine's hand and squeezed it. "When I get control of my body back, I'm going to kiss you."

"Fair enough," Blaine said, still breathing hard.

"And then I'm going to clean us up," Kurt said, now aware of Blaine's semen turning tacky on his hand. "It might not actually be in that order."

"Also fair," Blaine said.

Kurt laughed and swung himself up. He cleaned himself up as quickly as he could in Blaine's bathroom and brought back a towel and the damp cloth for Blaine.

He knelt between his legs, feeling a sense of deja vu as he cleaned off Blaine's abs, dick and backside for the second time that day, and then rolled the cloth in the towel and tossed it aside.

He braced his hands on either side of Blaine and leaned in for the kiss. "Hi," he said, grinning at him.

"Hi," Blaine said, grinning back. "Guess we didn't need that bag after all," he said, glancing over at it next to him.

"Disappointed?" Kurt asked.

"Not at all," Blaine said. "That was just right. All of today has been just right."

"Good," Kurt said, stroking his hair. "More for next time. After all, we have forever."